Posts Tagged With: chocolate

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Press Release

Posted on August 23, 2013 by pauldelancey

Without any real effort on our own the B&C has developed a nascent social consciousness. As far as I can tell our platform is:

1: We promote and enjoy bacon.
2: We promote and enjoy chocolate.
3: We will save our bees.
4: We sick Ms. Elizabeth Warren on the banks.
5. We will not monitor your phone records. Heck, we hardly look at our own. Who can understand them?

Note: the fourth point assumes Ms. Warren will be a part of Bacon & Chocolate’s team when it sweeps to victory in November, 2016. Would someone who knows her please ask her to join our party? Thanks. We’re kinda shy.

Paul R. De Lancey – Presidential Candidate
Candace C. Bowen – Vice-Presidential Candidate
Jonna Pattillo – Political advisor

Visit our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: bacon, Bacon & Chocolate, bees, Candace Bowen, Candace C. Bowen, chocolate, De Lancey, Elizabeth Warren, Jonna Pattillo, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, phone records, presidential, press release | 1 Comment

Yam Neua (Thai Beef Salad)

Posted on August 18, 2013 by pauldelancey

Thai Entree

YAM NEUA
(Thai Beef Salad)

INGREDIENTS

6 cups napa or Chinese cabbage or cabbage
1/2 cup carrots
1 cucumber
1 1/2 pounds beef sirloin steak
3 cloves garlic
2 shallots
1 tablespoon lime juice (1 tablespoon more later)
5 tablespoons Thai fish sauce or Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon palm sugar or sugar
1/2 teaspoon cilantro
1/2 teaspoon lemongrass
1/2 tablespoon red pepper flakes

1/2 teaspoon basil
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 tablespoon olive oil

PREPARATION

Shred napa and carrots. Mince garlic and shallots. Peel, seed, and slice cucumber. Cut sirloin into thin strips.

Add 1 tablespoon lime juice, fish sauce, palm sugar, cilantro, lemongrass, and red pepper flakes to large serving bowl. Mix ingredients with fork. Add cabbage, carrots, and cucumber. Mix again

Add sirloin, garlic, shallots, basil, coriander, 1 tablespoon lime juice, and olive oil to skillet. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until sirloin is no longer pink. Spoon sirloin strips and juice from skillet on top of salad in serving bowl.

A perfect salad for meat lovers.

TIDBITS

1) Cabbage is the new sexy. According to recent research in England, cabbage is the best natural aphrodisiac.

2. Many dishes are aphrodisiacs as well. They include: grilled oyster, grilled asparagus, grilled bananas, honey grilled shrimp, grilled Parmesan potatoes, and grilled carrots.

3) Whoa, look what grilling does.

4) Watch out if your date asks you over for grilled cabbage.

5) What if grilled beans were an aphrodisiac? How would you grill them? They’d keep falling through the spaces in the grill?

6) Chocolates make people more romantic. Would grilling chocolate cause overwhelming passion? Who would know? The chocolate would probably melt on the grill and drip on the hot coals below. Or, the chocolate would burst into flames. Either way you’d scorch your fingers trying to give that chocolate to your sweetheart and then you wouldn’t feel romantic at all.

7) Or you could profess you love, if you want to try a non-culinary approach.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: aphrodisiacs, asparagus, bananas, basil, Chinese cabbage, chocolate, coriander, entree, grilling, lemongrass, napa cabbage, oyster, salad, sexy, shrimp, sirloin, Thai, Thai beef salad, Thai fish sauce, Worcestershire sauce, yam neua | Leave a comment

Sunshine Milkshake

Posted on July 8, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

SUNSHINE MILKSHAKE

INGREDIENTS

1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup orange juice
1/2 cup sugar
2 bananas

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Peel the bananas. Put bananas, milk, orange juice, sugar, and vanilla extract. Use “milkshake” setting. Blend until shake is sufficiently smooth for your taste.

With the time you saved making this simple recipe over a more complicated one, you can read War and Peace.

TIDBITS

1) Seasoned fishermen put vanilla extract on their hands so fish can’t smell them. How fish hundreds of feet deep in the ocean can smell human way up there in a boat is beyond me.

2) If fish have such a good sense of smell, maybe the TSA should hire them to sniff for drugs and explosives at airports.

3) Of course, the TSA would have to provide fish bowls for their aquatic brethren or the fish would die. And stink. And then no one would want to fly, except the bad guys who would be easy to arrest as they were the only ones flying.

4) Unless, of course, the TSA people eat the fish when they die. Maybe use some lemon juice.

5) It’s an interesting legal question. May a fish working for the federal government be eaten?

6) In 1519, Montezuma invited Cortez to share a chocolate drink (Xocolatl) with him. Cortez accepted the invitation. Cortez soon afterward seized Montezuma and executed him. This is more than bad manners on the part of a guest. If Cortez had not gotten into see Montezuma, he couldn’t have decapitated the leadership of the great Aztec nation. The resulting disarray in the Aztec command gave Cortez enough of an advantage to conquer Mexico.

7) The Spanish went on to conquer Central America, much of South America, and what became the southwestern part of the United States. One can only imagine how culinary history would have been changed in the Americas if this had not have happened.

8) So think about that when you invite someone over for hot chocolate.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, recipes | Tags: airports, America, American, Americas, Aztec, bananas, chocolate, cookbook, Cortez, De Lancey, dessert, Mexico, milkshake, Montezuma, orange juice, recipes, Spanish, sugar, sunshine, TSA, United States, vanilla, War and Peace, xocolatl | Leave a comment

Ground Beef Curry From South Africa

Posted on June 7, 2013 by pauldelancey

South African Entree

GROUND BEEF CURRY

INGREDIENTS

2 potatoes
1 yellow onion
1 red onion
2 cups fresh spinach
4 small tomatoes
4 cloves garlic
2 chile peppers
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh ginger
2 tablespoons curry powder
1/2 tablespoon turmeric
1 tablespoon garam masala
1 1/2 pounds ground beef

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Cut potatoes into cubes smaller than 1/2″. Peel and dice yellow onion. Peel and dice red onion. Dice spinach and tomatoes. Mince garlic and chile peppers. Add onion and vegetable oil to large pot. Sauté onions on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onions soften. Stir frequently. Add spinach, tomatoes, garlic, peppers, ginger, curry powder, turmeric, garam masala, and ground beef.

Cook for 5-to-10 minutes on medium heat or until beef browns. Add potato cubes. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about 30 minutes or until potatoes are soft. Stir occasionally.

Goes well with rice or Indian bread such as roti. The Guyanese version of roti is in this cookbook.

TIDBITS

1) Recipes for meat in a spicy sauce date back 3,700 years to Babylonia. Recipes were kept on clay tablets. Carrying around a hundred recipes would have required a wheelbarrow.

2) Did ancient Babylonia possess wheelbarrows? If not, that would explain why the Babylonian empire fell to invaders. The population was too busy carrying clay recipe tablets in their arms to defend themselves.

3) Two-third of all food eaten at restaurants in Britain is Indian. Wow. There are more Indian restaurants in London than in Bombay and New Delhi.

4) People will begin to crave for curry because the spices arouse and stimulate the taste buds. Sorry, people that’s all curry arouses.

5) In America, many more women appreciate a box of chocolates from their date than a bowl of curry particularly if the bowl has no lid and she’s holding it on her lap and your take the corner really fast or you accelerate really fast and the curry gets all over her dress and she kicks you out of the car and you have to walk home even though it’s your car and you never see her or your car again.

6) No, guys, it’s a much better idea to give your date a bouquet of flowers and box of chocolates and take her out to an Indian restaurant, for goodness sake.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: Babylonia, beef, Bombay, Britain, chile peppers, chocolate, cookbook, curry, De Lancey, entree, flowers, garam, garlic, ginnger, ground beef, Guyanese, Indian, London, masala, New Delhi, onion, potatoes, recipes, roti, South Africa, spinach, tomatoes, turmeric, wheelbarrow, women | Leave a comment

Bacon & Chocolate Party Declares War Against Windows 8

Posted on May 29, 2013 by pauldelancey

Gentle readers, a plague of evil stalks over the land. I am of course talking about Windows 8. It’s utter evilness threatens the well being of the entire world. So, as leader of the Bacon & Chocolate Party, I am expanding our mission from protecting America’s supply of wholesome bacon & chocolate to include the utter destruction and banishment of Windows 8. I am also instructing my squadron of Flying Squirrels to take appropriate action against Microsoft and its demon spawn, Windows 8. That’s all I can say for now.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: humor | Tags: America, bacon, Bacon & Chocolate Party, chocolate, flying squirrels, Microsoft, party, Windows 8 | Leave a comment

Essequibo Chicken Recipe

Posted on April 22, 2013 by pauldelancey

Guyanese Entree

ESSEQUIBO CHICKEN

INGREDIENTS

2 chicken breasts
1 red bell pepper
4 garlic cloves
2 stalks green onion
1 medium onion
2 medium tomatoes
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon sugar
1 bay leaf
1/4 teaspoon celery seed or celery salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon thyme
2 teaspoons cornstarch

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into 1/2″ cubes. Seed bell pepper and cut it into strips 2″ long and 1/4″ wide. Mince garlic, green onion, and onion. Puree tomatoes.

Heat vegetable oil in saucepan at medium-high heat. Add sugar when bubbles start to form. Continue heating the mixture–it seems so wrong to say sauté sugar–for 30 seconds. Stir frequently. Add chicken cubes, green onion, onion, and garlic. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add bell pepper, bay leaf, celery seed, black pepper, thyme, and tomato. Simmer on low heat for 20 minutes with the lid off. occasionally. Add in cornstarch. Stir. Serve. Enjoy.

Add in cornstarch. Stir. Serve. Enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe contains celery seed. Watch out because . . .

2) Ancient Romans believed celery to be a powerful aphrodisiac.

3) Modern scientists say celery contains androsterone. This pheromone, released by men’s sweat glands, attracts females.

4) Chocolate has been shown to make women happier.

5) Don’t reverse it guys and eat the chocolate while giving your date a bag of celery.

5) You spend more energy chewing celery than you get from eating it.

6) Celery rocks!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: ancient, androsterone, aphrodisiac, attracts females, bay leaf, celery, Chef Paul, chicken, chocolate, cookbook, De Lancey, energy, entree, Essequibo, green onion, Guyana, Guyanan, Guyanese, men, pepper, pheromone, recipe, recipes, Romans, sautée, sweat glands, thyme, tomatoes, women | Leave a comment

Heavenly Cookies Recipe

Posted on April 16, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

HEAVENLY COOKIES

INGREDIENTS

3 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup white chocolate flavored cocoa (or an extra 1/2 cup sugar)
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
8 ounces Heath Bar BitsTM

Makes 20 cookies

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Preparation is easier if the butter is already soft. You can accomplish this by simply taking the butter out of the refrigerator an hour before you’re ready to start. (Or get a good aerobic exercise by flattening those sticks of butter with your fists. Show it who’s boss.)

Use whisk to blend flour, baking powder, and baking soda in a large mixing bowl. Set aside.

Place butter, sugar, flavored cocoa, egg, vanilla extract, and Heath Bar BitsTM in another mixing bowl. Mix with hands or electric beater set on “cookies.” Gradually add in the blended flour mixture. Again, blend thoroughly.

Roll dough into little balls about an inch wide. Place dough onto ungreased cookie sheets. Leave a 1″ gap between dough balls.

Bake 8 to 12 minutes or until golden brown. Let stand on cookie sheet for 2 minutes and then cool on wire racks for faster cooling. If you don’t own a wire rack, either let the cookies cool for a long time on the hot sheet or transfer them with a spatula to a cold plate. The hungry hordes, however, might have other ideas about waiting.

TIDBITS

1) The egg listed in the ingredients is a chicken egg. You could substitute an ostrich egg for the chicken egg.

2) However, the ostrich egg is twenty bigger than the chicken egg. To keep the cookies’ texture the same you’d need to multiply all the ingredients by twenty times as well, twenty cups of sugar for example.

3) You’d have 400 cookies. Where would they all be eat eaten? At a fund raiser? Church picnic? Would people want to eat cookies made from ostrich eggs?

4) There are roadside stands near my home that sell ostrich jerky. So maybe the public is ready.

5) However, while it is easy to carry a carton of twelve chicken eggs, the same amount of ostrich eggs would weigh 32 pounds.

6) Heavy, you bet. Maybe future Olympic weight-lifting could include ostrich-egg events.

7) Ostrich egg juggling would require much skill as well.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: Chef Paul, chicken, chocolate, church, cocoa, cookbook, cookies, De Lancey, egg, Heat Bar, heaven, heavenly, hordes, jerky, juggling, Olympic, ostrich, recipe, recipes, vanilla extract, weight lifting | Leave a comment

Los Candidatos Need Your Votes

Posted on April 14, 2013 by pauldelancey

Candace C. Bowen and I really need your votes if Bacon & Chocolate is to win today in Venezuela’s election. Do not let trifles such as wrong citizenship or the nearest polling booth being thousands of miles away deter you. Vote often! Excelsior! Cowabunga!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: bacon, Bacon & Chocolate, Bowen, Candace C. Bowen, chocolate, citizenship, cowabunga, election, excelsior, los candidatos, polling booth, Venezuela | Leave a comment

Candace C. Bowen – Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Great Candidate for Vice President of Venezuela

Posted on April 13, 2013 by pauldelancey

My Dear Venezuelans:
Are you tired of the status-quo? Of course you are! Tomorrow you have a chance for change. Join presidential candidate Paul De Lancey and yours truly to ride the dark horse to election victory. Like our fellow candidates in every nation, we will make impossible promises that we have no intention of actually keeping. Do you love bacon, chocolate and Venezuelan hot dogs? Who doesn’t? We will fill every household with a lifetime supply. Take your family and friends to the polls tomorrow and help us declare victory. Vote twice for good measure and we’ll throw in imported relish for your hot dogs. Bring your enemies and we’ll throw in organic mustard and ketchup. The time is now to make a stand my friends. Viva la bacon and chocolate!
Candace C. Bowen
Candidate for Vice President

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: bacon, Bacon & Chocolate, Bowen, Candace C. Bowen, candidate, chocolate, dark horse, De Lancey, hot dogs, imported, ketchup, organic mustard, Paul De Lancey, polls, President, relsh, Venezuela, Venezuelan, vice president, vive la, vote twice | Leave a comment

Running For El Presidente of Venezuela: My Plans

Posted on April 13, 2013 by pauldelancey

To all the Venezuelans who might be holding back on voting for me Sunday simply because I live in San Diego, rest assured I will fly down right away to Caracas, the capital, to assume my presidential duties if elected. Indeed, here are my flight plans assuming I get sworn in on June 4.

Once I get there I will vigorously press for affordable bacon, chocolate, and Venezuelan hot dogs. Then I’ll take a nap.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: affordable, bacon, Caracas, chocolate, flight plans, hot dogs, nap, presidente, San Diego, Venezuela | 2 Comments

Posts Tagged With: chocolate

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Press Release

Yam Neua (Thai Beef Salad)