Posts Tagged With: presidential

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Principles and Stuff

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My fellow humans,

What with the Cubs quite possibly heading to the World Series for the first time since 1945, news about Bacon & Chocolate Party has been crowded. People starved for a real political party are asking, “What ever happened to the great Bacon & Chocolate Party?” and “What do they believe in?” Ok, here’s the scoop.

1) Bacon & Chocolate Party is on the ballot in all but fifty states and the District of Columbia.

2)) B&C is within 50% of the votes of winning every state’s and DC’s electoral votes.

3) B&C is corruption proof. We have accepted no contributions from any special interest or lobbyist.

4) Or lobbist, i.e., a professional tennis player.

5) B&C’s presidential candidate, Paul R. De Lancey, is amazing. The vice-presidential candidate, Candace C. Bowen, is crackerjack, too.

6) We believe in the tastiness and healing properties of bacon and chocolate.

7) Save our bees.

8) We believe much of the deadlock in D.C. is due to the rancor between the political parties.

9) We will enforce mandatory nap time every time cranky Congress fails to legislate anything.

10) We will take massive national polls on everything. Those issues getting the highest percentage of yeses will get passed.

11) Ms. Bowen and I and the B&C cabinet will take frequent naps as well. We don’t like getting cranky either.

12) We’ll have great big, super tasty barbecues every week on the White House lawn. One guests, picked randomly from all Americans, will attend these food fests.

13) Anything that adversely affects our bees and our bacon and chocolate supplies will be dealt with.

14) Funding for Paul’s Flying Squirrel Squadron will be increased. It does wonderful work protecting this great nation.

15) And stuff.

Presidential candidate Paul R. De Lancey

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

 

 

 

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Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Press Release

Without any real effort on our own the B&C has developed a nascent social consciousness. As far as I can tell our platform is:

1: We promote and enjoy bacon.fudge
2: We promote and enjoy chocolate.
3: We will save our bees.
4: We sick Ms. Elizabeth Warren on the banks.
5. We will not monitor your phone records. Heck, we hardly look at our own. Who can understand them?

Note: the fourth point assumes Ms. Warren will be a part of Bacon & Chocolate’s team when it sweeps to victory in November, 2016. Would someone who knows her please ask her to join our party? Thanks. We’re kinda shy.

Paul R. De Lancey – Presidential Candidate
Candace C. Bowen – Vice-Presidential Candidate
Jonna Pattillo – Political advisor

Visit our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty

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Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Blueprint For Campaign reform

It’s all so simple. Everyone, and I mean everyone, goes to the polling booth on Election Day in
November armed with a die. You can get a die from an old game of Risk or backgammon. Roll the die inside your election booth. If it comes up 1 or 2, vote for President Obama. If the result is 3 0r 4, vote for Romney. However, if you get a 5 or 6 vote for Bacon & Chocolate.

No matter how much money the Democrats or the Republicans spend on the presidential election they cannot affect the roll of the die. They will have no reason to raise an obscene number of millions to spend on misleading and omnipresent campaign ads. Billionaires will have no reason to give money to presidential candidates. Presidential candidates will have no reason to listen to billionaires. No matter, whom we elect when we roll our dice on Election Tuesday, our voice will be heard just as loud to the elected President as any
other.

And we’ll have a 1/3 chance of electing Bacon & Chocolate for  president.

Vote Bacon & Chocolate for a tasty tomorrow.

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