Posts Tagged With: aphrodisiac

Pom Casserole

Suriname Entree

POM CASSEROLE

INGREDIENTSPom-

2 pounds chicken breasts
2 pounds taro or pomtayer*
2 celery stalks
1 large onion
4 tomatoes
1 tablespoon brown sugar
½ cup orange juice
1¾ tablespoons parsley
2 tablespoons olive oil (2 more tablespoons later)
1 teaspoon allspice
2 tablespoons olive oil
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
2 cups chicken broth
no-stick spray

* = Pomtayer is so, so hard to find in many parts of American. Give yourself the Culinary Explorer’s Badge if you find pomtayer. So far, the awarding of this badge is on the honor system.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ x 13″ casserole dish

Makes 12 bowls. Takes 1.5-to-2 hours to prepare.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cut chicken into ½” cubes. Peel taro. Grate or shred taro. Dice celery, onion, and tomatoes.

Add taro, brown sugar, orange juice, and parsley to large mixing bowl. Mix by hand until taro is well coated. Add 2 tablespoons olive oil, allspice, celery, onion, and tomatoes cubes to first pan. Sauté on medium high-heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Reserve 3 tablespoons juice from first pan.

Add 2 tablespoons olive oil, chicken cubes, pepper, and salt to second pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until chicken cubes turn golden brown. Stir occasionally. Add chicken broth and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 15 minutes. Stir occasionally.

Remove chicken from second pan and pour remaining broth into mixing bowl with taro mix. Blend with fork. Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Put half of taro/chicken broth from mixing bowl to casserole dish and spread evenly. Spread celery/onion/tomato mix from first pan on top. Spread chicken cubes evenly on top. Cover with remaining half of taro/chicken broth. Spread evenly. Drizzle top layer with reserved 3 tablespoons of juice from first pan. Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes to 1 hour-15 minutes or until top is golden brown and set.

TIDBITS

1) Because of the font I’m using, Pom, the name of this entree, looks a lot like Porn. Probably more people have indulged in Porn than Pom.

2) Britain found that 50% of women love chocolate more than sex. Clearly, my there is a need for my advice on culinary romance. In the interest of full disclosure, I have a Ph.D. in economics and you know how many of us there are in the world. Here they are, my greatest culinary sex tips. Some of them might even be true.

3) Chocolates make women feel slightly more romantic. So you see, chocolate is a really good gift.

4) Pecans help a man’s sex life. Pecans have a lot of zinc. Zinc helps men produce more testosterone.

5) Just clink glasses together when toasting in France. Clink one glass at a time. Don’t cross any person’s arm while clinking. Follow all these rules or be cursed with seven years of bad sex.

6) The Romans used anchovy entrails to make an aphrodisiac. The process itself of gutting the anchovy, however, is far from being a turn-on.

7) Ancient Romans, and there were a lot of them, held celery to be a powerful aphrodisiac. Modern scientists say celery contains androsterone. This pheromone, released by men’s sweat glands, attracts females.

8) The Karma Sutra says ginger is a potent aphrodisiac The FDA says ginger is generally recognized as safe. There you go.

9) Cabbage is hot, hot, hot. Recent English research has cabbage being the best natural aphrodisiac. Many other dishes are also aphrodisiacs. These include: grilled oyster, grilled asparagus, grilled bananas, honey-grilled shrimp, grilled Parmesan potatoes, and grilled carrots One can only imagine if you serve your sweetheart all of the above at once.

10) Chicago’s Smell and Taste Research Foundation holds that lavender and pumpkin pie produce the most sexually exciting smells for men. Having a man over for lavender chicken and a pumpkin pie for dessert really loads the odds in your favor. Unless, of course, your man has a migraine. But it’s okay even then, for the German nun Hildegard of Bingen (1098-1179) believed drinks mixed with lavender cured migraines. You’re still in action.

11) Korean red ginseng is supposed to increase arousal in menopausal women. A daily dosage of three grams a day is the correct amount. It’s not clear if red ginseng from another country is okay. Or what about Korean orange ginseng? Is it the real sexual McCoy? Does it only give those women a slightly amorous feeling, like one chocolate doughnut? Do you need to get a kitchen scale in order the get exactly the prescribed three ounce of Korean red ginseng? Clearly, future research is needed.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Caesar’s Salad

Mexican Entree

CAESAR’S SALAD

INGREDIENTSCaesarsSalad-

1 head romaine lettuce
4 bread slices
2 garlic cloves
1/4 cup olive oil (1 tablespoon more later)
2 ounces anchovies, cut in half (optional)

1 egg
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons lemon juice
½ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar

1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

PREPARATION

Separate romaine lettuce into leaves. Tear leaves into 1″ squares. Remove crusts from bread slices. Cut bread into ½” cubes. Cut one garlic clove into four pieces and rub them along the salad bowl. Discard. (Oh no, no, discard the garlic pieces, not the salad bowl. Goodness, careful sentence structure matters.)

Add the other garlic clove and 1/4 cup olive oil to pan. Sauté at low-medium heat for 5 minutes or 300 seconds. Discard garlic clove. (It’s a bad day to be garlic.) Add bread cubes to pan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until bread cubes are crisp on all sides. Stir frequently. Remove crisp bread crumbs or croutons and place them on paper towels to drain.

Add romaine squares and croutons to salad bowl. (Add optional anchovies here.)

Add egg, Dijon mustard, pepper, salt, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, olive oil, and red wine vinegar to blender. Use mix or middle setting to blend ingredients for 30 seconds. Pour this dressing into salad bowl. Lightly toss salad. Sprinkle salad with Parmesan cheese.

Note, pregnant women and small children should not eat raw eggs.

TIDBITS

1) Anchovies are a happening item. Italian prostitutes of the 18th century used anchovies when making their famous “spaghetti alla puttanesca” for their customers.

2) The Romans used anchovy entrails to make an aphrodisiac, to reduce ulcers, to cure dysentery, or to season their food.

3) So if you were a Roman woman and a man had you over for dinner and he served anchovy sauce, you might want to wonder about him.

4) On the other hand, we could dramatically cut the cost of health care by requiring all pizzas to come with anchovies. We wouldn’t need hospital or medical insurance, just a large anchovy with extra cheese.

5) And the aphrodisiacal–whoa spell check is okay with that–qualities of anchovy pizzas would mean we wouldn’t have to see those ViagraTM ads on T.V. anymore.

6) But PlayboyTM would sport ads about anchovies all the time.

7) The entire economy would be directed to processing anchovies.

8) Military spending would fall to zero.

9) Our anchovy-driven sexual frenzies would leave us wide open to conquest by our enemies.

10) But anchovies also contain a toxin called domoic acid whichcan drive a seagull insane if ingested in too large a quantity.

11) Which is why the United States Army has warehouses full of anchovies. Within 15 minutes of an enemy invasion, the roofs of all these warehouses retract to reveal millions of vats just brimming with anchovies.

12) America’s heroic seagulls would then gorge themselves on their favorite food, became crazy and attack the invaders, just like in Alfred Hitchcock’s, The Birds.

13) America cannot be conquered.

14) But then any country with sufficient anchovies and pelican couldn’t be conquered.

15) Countries would have an incentive to stockpile these items.

16) I fear an anchovy-and-pelican race between nations.

17) But if worse comes to worse, we will blast the Barney-the-Dinosaur song at our enemies until they cry uncle.

18) Let us banish this frightening scenario by sipping on a wonderful, ice cold root beer. Ah, life is good again.

19) Caesar’s salad, anyone?

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Pepper Jack Meatloaf Recipe

American Entree

PEPPER JACK MEATLOAF

INGREDIENTSPeppeJM-

1/2 white onion
1/2 red onion
3 garlic cloves
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
3 large eggs
1 tablespoon parsley
1 green bell pepper
1 green chile
1 14.5 can diced tomatoes
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon tarragon
2 teaspoons fresh cilantro
1 cup grated pepper jack cheese
1 1/2 cups bread crumbs

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mince red onion, white onion, and garlic. Add this to olive oil and sauté on medium heat until soft or about 6 minutes.

Dice bell pepper and green chile. Combine red onion, white onion, garlic, ground beef, eggs, bell pepper, green chile, diced tomatoes, coriander, cumin, tarragon, cilantro, pepper jack cheese, and bread crumbs. You really need to use your hands to do a good job here.

(Better yet, get your nine-year old to mix this up. He’ll welcome the opportunity to be helpful while getting his hands messy. Take advantage of this willingness before he becomes a teenager.)

OR…dice and mince all the above ingredients and put them all into the oil to sauté at once. This will save six minutes.

(Saving six minutes is particularly useful if there is an accidental nuclear countdown near your home, you’re the only one with the key to abort the launch with the resulting global nuclear war, and you really don’t have the extra six minutes needed to perform this extra culinary step, eat this meal, and get to the missile silo in time.)

Spray 8″-by-8″ baking dish with no-stick cooking spray. Transfer the meat mix to this dish. Smooth the meat until it is a flat as the Kansan prairie. Bake for about 1 hour at 350 degrees. Let cool for 5 – 10 minutes.

TIDBITS

1) According to The Tales of the Arabian Nights, coriander is an aphrodisiac.

2) We should all absorb the lessons of great literature.

3) Coriander is also mentioned in the Bible. The Bible does not mention any non-culinary benefits from Tarragon.

4) Indeed, The Good Book commands, “Do not commit adultery.”

5) Sometime in the 1600s, two English publishers came out with a Bible with the exciting command, “Thou Shall Commit Adultery.”

6) The King of England fearing for the morals of his people, outlawed this version of the Bible, and heavily fined the publishers.

7) Editing and correct spicing are musts.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Essequibo Chicken Recipe

Guyanese Entree

ESSEQUIBO CHICKEN

INGREDIENTSEssChic-

2 chicken breasts
1 red bell pepper
4 garlic cloves
2 stalks green onion
1 medium onion
2 medium tomatoes
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon sugar
1 bay leaf
1/4 teaspoon celery seed or celery salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon thyme
2 teaspoons cornstarch

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into 1/2″ cubes. Seed bell pepper and cut it into strips 2″ long and 1/4″ wide. Mince garlic, green onion, and onion. Puree tomatoes.

Heat vegetable oil in saucepan at medium-high heat. Add sugar when bubbles start to form. Continue heating the mixture–it seems so wrong to say sauté sugar–for 30 seconds. Stir frequently. Add chicken cubes, green onion, onion, and garlic. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add bell pepper, bay leaf, celery seed, black pepper, thyme, and tomato. Simmer on low heat for 20 minutes with the lid off. occasionally. Add in cornstarch. Stir. Serve. Enjoy.

Add in cornstarch. Stir. Serve. Enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe contains celery seed. Watch out because . . .

2) Ancient Romans believed celery to be a powerful aphrodisiac.

3) Modern scientists say celery contains androsterone. This pheromone, released by men’s sweat glands, attracts females.

4) Chocolate has been shown to make women happier.

5) Don’t reverse it guys and eat the chocolate while giving your date a bag of celery.

5) You spend more energy chewing celery than you get from eating it.

6) Celery rocks!

cover

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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