Posts Tagged With: chocolate

Bacon & Chocolate’s Concession Speech

Dear Americans,button2

The voters have spoken. Ms. Clinton won the majority of the vote. Mr. Trump won the majority of the electoral votes. He will be our nation’s next president. We wish him well and hope that he will have success in helping this country. I, the presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate Party, would have conceded earlier but I went into shock when the election results came pouring in. I went on a near-bear and root-beer bender. I am just now coming out of this funk.

How did this shattering loss occur? Poll after poll after poll of people typing this blog or ever the more widespread poll of B&C voters had us winning it all by a comfortable margin. There is, alas, the possibility of widespread rigging in this election. I mean after all, how can anyone explain how we were not on the ballot in any state or the District of Columbia. How easy it would be the raise the divisive howl of, “Fraud, fraud, fraud.” However, we must do all we can to avoid tearing our great nation apart even more. Therefore, B&C will not contest the election result, preferring instead to drown our sorrow by watching old reruns of “Get Smart” and drinking root beer.

What can Bacon & Chocolate’s supporters do for the future? Well, we can make sure that we turn in those sheets chock full of signatures to the state electoral commissions. Did this happen? Was there voter fraud? Who can say? Did we even collect signatures at all? It’s all very cloudy. We must be vigilant and diligent in the future.

On a more serious note, Bacon & Chocolate Party started as a joke. As the election dragged on and on, it became less and less of a laugh and more of a real alternative to the shrill politics of hate. B&C never put out anything hateful. On the main, we were a consistent island of decency out there. I personally feel that one candidate and party and one set of supporters stirred up more hate than did the others. Many of my supporters in the B&C would no doubt disagree. And that was the glory and beauty of Bacon & Chocolate. It was for everyone. Everyone was valued by B&C. There was a place for every American.

Bacon & Chocolate party only took stands of a few things. We wanted to promote bacon and chocolate and to protect the supply and protection of the same. We wanted to save our bees. We took up the cause of the taco truck owners. I mean, tacos are wonderful. For the most part though, we would have looked at what the majority of Americans wanted on any issue and adopted that as our policy. What other political party in America can say that?

I am sad that Bacon & Chocolate Party was the only party that could bridge the divisiveness that is the current America. We were the only party that liked and embraced everyone. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to eat a chocolate doughnut.

Presidential candidate, Paul R. De Lanceycookbookhunks

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World,  with 180 wonderful recipes will be available in just a few days. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, is already available on amazon.com

 

 

 

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Categories: Bacon & Chocolate | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Principles and Stuff

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My fellow humans,

What with the Cubs quite possibly heading to the World Series for the first time since 1945, news about Bacon & Chocolate Party has been crowded. People starved for a real political party are asking, “What ever happened to the great Bacon & Chocolate Party?” and “What do they believe in?” Ok, here’s the scoop.

1) Bacon & Chocolate Party is on the ballot in all but fifty states and the District of Columbia.

2)) B&C is within 50% of the votes of winning every state’s and DC’s electoral votes.

3) B&C is corruption proof. We have accepted no contributions from any special interest or lobbyist.

4) Or lobbist, i.e., a professional tennis player.

5) B&C’s presidential candidate, Paul R. De Lancey, is amazing. The vice-presidential candidate, Candace C. Bowen, is crackerjack, too.

6) We believe in the tastiness and healing properties of bacon and chocolate.

7) Save our bees.

8) We believe much of the deadlock in D.C. is due to the rancor between the political parties.

9) We will enforce mandatory nap time every time cranky Congress fails to legislate anything.

10) We will take massive national polls on everything. Those issues getting the highest percentage of yeses will get passed.

11) Ms. Bowen and I and the B&C cabinet will take frequent naps as well. We don’t like getting cranky either.

12) We’ll have great big, super tasty barbecues every week on the White House lawn. One guests, picked randomly from all Americans, will attend these food fests.

13) Anything that adversely affects our bees and our bacon and chocolate supplies will be dealt with.

14) Funding for Paul’s Flying Squirrel Squadron will be increased. It does wonderful work protecting this great nation.

15) And stuff.

Presidential candidate Paul R. De Lancey

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

 

 

 

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Support Taco Truck Tuesday

Citizens of America,FishTaco-

Marco Gutierrez says that if Donald Trump doesn’t win, there will be taco trucks on every corner. Whoa! That’s wonderful. That’s awesome! Tacos are the best food in the world. And we can have them if Trump loses. Whoa. There you have it, America, yet another reason to vote for me, Paul De Lancey, presidential candidate of the Bacon & Chocolate Party. Do you want tacos as close to you as the nearest street corner, whenever you want? Of course, you do.

Show your support for the incredible taco. Show your support for the incredible chefs who, in the hot, cramped quarters of their trucks, turn out one delicious taco after another. This Tuesday, just three days from now, go out and patronize your nearest taco truck. Drive for hours if need be. Surf the internet, talk to stranger after stranger, but find that taco truck. Bring back tacos for neighbors. Do a good deed and buy truck tacos for shut ins. Helping others, isn’t that why were put here on Earth?

So buy those street tacos. And don’t forget to get a picture of you eating that taco in front of that taco truck. So, show your support for tacos. Show your support for taco makers. Make your neighborhood at new Eden by encouraging the mobile taco makers to come to your corner. Oh gosh, I shiver at the prospect.

Remember this Tuesday, this Taco Truck Tuesday. Buy that taco. Get a picture of yourself in front of the truck or least a picture of the truck. Post the photo here. Post it on Facebook. Post it on Twitter  #TacoTruckTuesday, and any other social media you can thing of. Do it for yourself. Do it for your neighborhood. Do it for America. Especially on Tuesday, November 8, the Taco Truck Tuesday  where you vote.

MAKE AMERICA TACOS

– Paul De Lancey, taco lover and presidential candidate

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: cuisine, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Challenge Donald Trump to Debate. His Campaign Asks for a Donation

Voters of America,button2

Recently,via Facebook, I again invited Mr. Trump, candidate for the Republican party, to engage me in open debate. He didn’t respond,  However, his people are flooding my internet connection with ads asking me to donate to his campaign. There are only reasons for this disappointing behavior.

1) He thinks he’s so great, that he can demand money from the Bacon & Chocolate party to debate him.

2) His would be rich donors are so dismayed by the manifest result of Bacon & Chocolate sweeping to victory in November that they have stopped throwing away their wealth on him. As a result Mr. Trump is desperate for money. He’s taken to asking me, his competitor, for money. Sad.

Contact Mr. Trump and urge him, to debate me, Paul R. De Lancey, of the Bacon & Chocolate Party free of charge. Oh heck, in the spirit of forgiveness I’ll cook him a lutefisk-and-cheddar-cheesefeast. Make America grate again.

Candidate Trump can be contacted at:

https://www.donaldjtrump.com/contact

Thank you for your concern in the democratic process.

Bacon & Chocolate Party

Information on Bacon & Chocolate Party thoughts and goals.

Paul R. De LanceyDeLanceyPaul
Future president of the United States of America.

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Is Donald Trump Afraid to Debate Paul De Lancey? Contact him.

Voters of America,button2

A week ago,via Facebook, I cordially invited Mr. Trump, candidate for the Republican party, to engage me in open debate. So far, he has given no response, Is he afraid? I would like to think this is not the case. So, I am asking you, the American citizenry, to contact Mr. Trump and urge him, to debate me, Paul R. De Lancey, of the Bacon & Chocolate Party. It’ll be fun, Donald. Bacon and chocolate will be served. Oh, and grated cheese. Make America grate again.

Candidate Trump can be contacted at:

https://www.donaldjtrump.com/contact

Thank you for your concern in the democratic process.

Bacon & Chocolate Party

Information on Bacon & Chocolate Party thoughts and goals.

Paul R. De LanceyDeLanceyPaul
Future president of the United States of America.

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com.

Categories: humor, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paul De Lancey Dares Donald Trump to Debate

Mr. Donald Trump,

I am challenging you to a debate. Your path to the White House is through me and the Bacon & Chocolate Party. Since this vibrant expression of democracy is my idea, the debate will be at a button2Mexican restaurant within twenty miles of Poway. You, as my esteemed opponent get to choose which Mexican restaurant. The winner of this debate gets to debate Ms. Clinton.

The gauntlet has been thrown. I await your response.

Bacon & Chocolate Party

President: Paul R. De Lancey
Vice President: Candace C. Bowen

And now a message from Ms. Bowen,

 Candace C. Bowen's photo.

Information on Bacon & Chocolate Party thoughts and goals.

Paul R. De LanceyDeLanceyPaul
Future president of the United States of America.

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com and doesn’t involve any bankruptcies at all.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, humor, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bacon & Chocolate Party: A Landslide Victory for De Lancey & Bowen

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The polls are closed. The people have spoken. The final vote count is:

Paul De Lancey – 19.5 – 78.0%
Elmer Fudd – 5.5 – 22.0%

Paul De Lancey and Candace C. Bowen will represent the
Bacon & Chocolate Party in November. It is with a great
sense of humility that they accept the nomination.

Let the reconciliation between humans and cartoon characters begin. Tip of the hat to Elmer Fudd who ran a vewwy, vewwy civil campaign. Paul De Lancey and Candace Bowen are proud to say there victory came without cheating. Of any kind.

Carly Fiorina tried to be this great land’s first female VP, but the people saying loud and clear, it’s going to Candace C. Bowen

And now a message from Ms. Bowen,

 Candace C. Bowen's photo.

Information on Bacon & Chocolate Party thoughts and goals.

Paul R. De LanceyDeLanceyPaul
Future president of the United States of America.

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com.

 

Categories: humor, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Democracy in the Balance! You Need to Vote in Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Primary

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Yes dear voter, the future is now. Support our republic. Support democracy with your vote. Vote in Bacon & Chocolate Party’s online primary. It’s open to everyone regardless of residence or citizenship. We are the world. We are democracy. We are change. We like Bacon. We like Chocolate. We like bees. We like naps. What more do you need? Vote!

Candidates are: Paul R. De Lancey for president, Candace C. Bowen for vice president.
Elmer Fudd for president, Bugs Bunny for vice president.

Click on the following link to vote.

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Facebook primary. Now you can look totalitarianism in the eye and say, “I did my part to stop you.

Information on Bacon & Chocolate Party thoughts and goals.

– Paul R. De LanceyDeLanceyPaul
Future president of the United States of America.

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, humor, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bacon & Chocolate Party Wants You to Head Your Own Federal Department

How often has this happened to you?posterpp

You: Gah! I wish we had enough money to buy yogurt-covered pretzels.
Spouse: We can’t. You have a lousy job.
You: I wish I could find a better one.
Me: Well now you can. With Republican candidates dropping by the wayside, and the Democratic rivals in a fight to the end, the time has come for the Bacon & Chocolate Party to sweep to victory. With his imminent landslide election I, President Paul De Lancey, am going to need lots of help running the government. It’s a big thing. Heck, I hope I don’t get lost in the White House. Hee! Hee!

Anyway, dozens of federal agencies and departments are going to need new secretaries to lead them. Why not claim your spot? The pay is good. You won’t have to do much. Simply promote bacon and chocolate and save our bees. And take naps. Where else can you get paid for taking naps? C’mon, what are you waiting for? Be the first on your block to head a federal department. And don’t forget, we have plum ambassadorships around the world. Simply respond, “I want to head this department and give your name.” You’ll be glad you did.

Note: The following positions are taken.

President: Paul R. De Lancey
Vice President: Candace C. Bowen
Speaker of the House: John Rucker

Agriculture: Launa McNeilly
Avoiding Labor: Stephen Parrish
Crisper: Michelle Hickman
Education: Jan Buckner
Event Organizer: Christine Olewiler
Extraterrestrial Welcoming Committee: Denise Hemphill
Food and Drug: Lee Diogeneia
Health Human Services And Cooking: Shauna Roberts
Interior: Kathi Gorecki Voskuil
State: Mark Kennet
Secret Service: Mike Allsopp
Treasury: Betty Ponterio
Tsar of Holidays: Kathleen Smiley

Ambassadorships:

Cuba: Daphne Anne Humphrey
Fiji: Amy Buckheister Gettinger
Luxembourg: Donna Cavanagh
Switzerland: Elizabeth Dickinson

– Paul R. De LanceyDeLanceyPaul
Future president of the United States of America.

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tucuman Empanadas

Argentinian Entree

TUCUMAN EMPANADAS

INGREDIENTS – DOUGHEmpanada-

¾ cup lard or shortening (⅓ cup more later)
5 cups flour
3 teaspoons salt
⅔ cup water

INGREDIENTS – FILLING

¾ pound rump or tenderloin steak
⅔ cup chopped green onion
1 medium white onion
⅓ cup lard or shortening
1 teaspoon cumin
2 teaspoons paprika
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSIL

8″ x 13″ casserole dish

Makes 4 empanadas. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.

PREPARATION – DOUGH

Melt ¾ cup lard in skillet using low heat. Add flour and salt to large mixing bowl. Blend with large spoon. Use spoon to make hole in middle of dough. Slowly pour melted lard into hole. Gradually add water while mixing ingredients together by hand until you get a smooth and pliable dough. Cover and let sit for 30 minutes

PREPARATION – FILLING

While dough sits, cut steak into ½” cubes. Mince green onion and white onion. Melt ⅓ cup lard in large skillet using medium heat. Add white onion. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until white onion softens. Stir frequently. Add steak cubes, green onion, cumin, paprika, pepper, and salt. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes or until meat browns. Stir occasionally.

PREPARATION – FINAL

Preheat oven to 475 degrees. Roll out dough until it is ½” thick. Cut dough into 6″ circles. (You should get about 4 dough circles after you formed the scraps from the initial cutting into more circles.) Add ½ cup filling to the middle of each dough circle. Brush edges of each circle with water. Fold one edge of each circle to the opposite edge. Seal the rounded edges by pressing down on them with a fork.

Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Bake empanadas at 475 degrees for 10 minutes. Reduce temperature to 400 degrees. Bake for an additional 10 minutes or until empanadas turn golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Tucuman empanadas is anagram for the ancient Mayan saying, “Map man, cut a sundae.”

2) Mayan sundaes are delicious. You must have excellent whipping cream to make a wonderful sundae. Most people put cow milk in a bowl to make whipping cream. The olden-day Mayans lifted cows onto their shoulders and hopped from one foot to another until whipped cream came out the cows’ udders.

3) The adventuresome conquistadors, however, were too weak to shake cows. The Spanish warriors needed the strong backs of the Mayan. Which is why they conquered the Mayan peninsula.

4) The conquered natives did not get any of the cow-shaken cream. They did not get the Mayan milk shakes. They did not get enough calories to wage war on their neighbors.

5) The Spanish soldiers, on the other hand, received enough calories to do anything, including growing big bellies. Cortés, physical fitness instructor for Governor Velázquez grimaced every time he saw the paunchy conquistadors wheezing their way back from the many sundae shops.

6) Something had to be done. Señor Cortés knew he had little job security. One word from Velázquez and faster than teenagers eat their family meal he’d be out of a job. And just try to get another physical-fitness job from the other fifteenth-century European monarchs. So Cortés seized power when Governor Velázquez went on a Club MedTM vacation.

7) Cortés ordered the Spanish soldiers to attack the Aztec Empire to the west. They refused.

8) “The Aztecs have chocolate.” The conquistadors sighed. “Ooh, chocolate.” Everyone knew that chocolate sundaes were even tastier than the plain vanilla ones. Cortés brandished his sword above his head. “Their streets are paved in chocolate. Will you follow me?” Well of course they did, I mean chocolate.

9) The long arduous trek to the Aztec capital burned off many calories. The incessant fighting made them even fitter. The Spanish soldiers developed washboard-flat stomachs and buns of steel. The buff Conquistadors made all the European señoritas swoon with delight.

10) Naturally, the soldiers of France, Spain, Portugal became jealous. They wanted honeys of their own. They pestered their monarchs until they too got sent over to the New World to engage in conquest and other forms of aerobic exercise.

11) Things are not so violent now that we have workout DVDs.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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