Posts Tagged With: chocolate

Bad Day

Things went wrong at the bank. The day went downhill after that. I feel overwhelmed like this dog who kindly agreed to pose in place of me.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bad Day | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Presidential Resume – 2022

 

I might just run for president in 2024. The American electorate has the right to know if the presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate Party has the experience to run this great nation.

 

MY PRESIDENTIAL EXPERIENCE

Class President, 5th grade, Santa Anita Elementary School, Arcadia, California, 1967 – 1968

Ran for President of the United States – 2012

Ran for President of the United States – 2016 (This one really rankles. I was not certified as the winner despite carrying all but 50 states and D.C..

Ran for President of Venezuela in 2014.

Familiarity with Congress. I took a guided tour in 1980.

Finance. I’m not in debt. America has never had a recession while I’ve been president.

I’ve been to all 50 states.

Foreign Affairs. I’ve been to Asia, Europe, Australia, and the Caribbean without causing a single diplomatic incident. No, not one.

I can make mincemeat pies

 

There, I do have experience.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., Commander in Chief

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Grammar Lust

 

GRAMMAR HAIKU #1

It is a truism.

Good grammar and chocolates

Will impress your date.

 

GRAMMAR HAIKU #2

Remember tonight,

Lust is fleeting but grammar

Endures forever.

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Ph.D.

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: haiku, lust, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mason Jar Chocolate Ice Cream

American Dessert

MASON JAR CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM

INGREDIENTS

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 cups heavy whipping cream
5 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
⅛ teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSILS

food processor or blender
3 cup Mason jar

Makes 2½ cups. Takes 20 minutes to make and 4 hours to firm in freezer.

PREPARATION

Add chocolate chips to pan. Melt using low-medium heat. Stir constantly. Add melted chocolate chips and all other ingredients to 3 cup Mason jar. Make sure that the lid to Mason jar is screwed on tightly. Shake jar vigorously for 5 minutes or until mixture thickens to the consistency of batter. Put jar in freezer. Let sit for 4 hours or until firm.

TIDBITS

1) Family dinners can often be quite contentious.

2) Why?

3) There’s always someone who doesn’t like some dish that you made for the gathering on the clan.

4) And you spent up to two days making your feast.

5) And someone always brings up politics, which always gets people riled.

6) But this argument gets forgotten when someone offers to help and puts your grandmother’s cast-iron skillet in the washer. 30 minutes your angel of a daughter, Sally, looks up at you with soulful eyes. Tears drip down as she quavers, “Mommy, you were going to give that skillet one day.” Her distress punches you in the feels as you review the ingratitude and argument of the dining room. You wish, you really wish that just once serenity could prevail while eating with those oafs.

7) With this recipe your wish is granted. Everybody, absolutely everyone loves chocolate ice cream. Eating this dessert makes everyone so happy that they become strangely pleasant. Furthermore, this dish takes almost no effort to make and is so easy to clean. What more could you want?

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook,  Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on  amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Chocolate Frosting

American Dessert

CHOCOLATE FROSTING

INGREDIENTS

1¾ cups heavy whipping cream
1¾ cups (10 ounces) semi-sweet chocolate chips
3¼ cups confectioners’ sugar

Makes 4½ cups. Takes 1 hour 15 minutes.

FROSTING NEEDED

Dessert Type Needs Cups of Frosting
—————– —————————–
2 layer cake                       3
3 layer cake                       4
12 cupcakes                      2
13″ * 9″ cake                     2

PREPARATION

Add heavy whipping cream to pan. Heat whipping cream at medium heat until cream just starts to bubble. Stir constantly. Remove from heat. Add chocolate chips. Stir with spatula or fork until all chips melt. Transfer to large mixing bowl. Keep in refrigerator until cooled and still pourable, about 40 minutes. Gradually add confectioners’ sugar.

Mix with whisk or fork. Lasts for 7 days in refrigerator when stored in Mason jar or other airtight container.

TIDBITS

1) Chocolate has pleased billions of people for thousands of years. Just saying “chocolate” puts even the most stubborn people in a good mood. This is why chocolate figures prominently in peace treaties, legislation, and court cases.

2) If only there were enough chocolate to dispel all disagreements, the world would be perfect.

3) But there isn’t. Powerful people try to secure the globe’s chocolate supply for themselves. The Aztec nobility monopolized Mexico’s chocolate. This bred fierce resentment among the poor Aztecs and in all of the surrounding tribes. So, when Cortés and his fellow conquistadors set out in 1519 to conquer the Aztecs, the chocolate-lacking Mexicans said, “Sure, why not? Go ahead.”

4) The gold-lusting Spanish then went onto conquer the Incans in Peru for its gold. Spanish gold financed over a hundred years of wars in Europe. And all this happened because the Aztec elite wouldn’t share its chocolate. So when people ask for part of your chocolate bar, give them some. Oh look, I have an extra line left. Let’s use this space to daydream about chocolate. Mmm.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook,  Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on  amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Lucy Llama Advises Men About Women

Men, you’d better listen to Lucy.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Simple Oblea Sandwich

Colombian Desserts

SIMPLE OBLEA SANDWICH

INGREDIENTS

2 oblea wafers or other 6″ wafers
3 tablespoons each of one or more of the following fillings:
caramel sauce (If you can get the authentic Colombian caramel sauce, arequipe, go for it.)
condensed milk
chocolate sprinkles
chopped pineapple
cream cheese
grated cheese
grated coconut
jam

Serves 1. Takes 3 minutes.

The top wafer shows the filling in the sandwich.

PREPARATION

Spread 3 tablespoons of fillings over first oblea. Put second oblea on top of fillings..

TIDBITS

1) Obleas is the plural form of oblea. Oblea is a Spanish word.

2) The English language is also rich with plural nouns.

3) Popular plural nouns of the English language include: women, ants, hamburgers, and doors.

4) So you can see that English speakers needn’t feel inferior to their Spanish counterparts on this linguistic matter.

5) According to culinary linguists, the word “oblea” has a rich and fabricated history.

6) For in mid 1968, the BeatlesTM traveled to India seeking enlightenment. They did not find it.

7) Disappointed, The Fab Four traveled to Colombia seeking solace in a simple, yet tasty dessert.

8) They found it in the form of Juan Cabrera’s simple oblea sandwich.

9) Such a fabulous dessert was worthy of a song, and soon the gifted Beatles came up with “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.”

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Grilled Lobster Tails With Vanilla Sauce From Comoros

Comorian Entree

GRILLED LOBSTER TAILS WITH VANILLA SAUCE
(Langouste à la Vanille)

INGREDIENTS

2 vanilla bean pods (Madagascan are preferred)
3 shallots
¼ cup butter
⅓ cup white wine
4 lobster tails
½ cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons olive oil

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Outdoor grill or grill pan

Serves 4. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Split vanilla bean pods lengthwise. Scoop out tiny seeds with knife. Keep vanilla pods. Mince shallots. Add butter and shallot to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 4 minutes or until shallot softens. Stir frequently. Add vanilla seeds, vanilla pods, and wine. Bring to boil, stirring frequently. then reduce heat to low. Simmer for 2 minutes or until liquid reduces by half. Stir frequently. Add heavy cream. Simmer for 3 minutes or until sauce starts to bubble. Stir frequently. Remove vanilla pod. Cover pan and remove from heat

Split the lobster tails in half lengthwise. Brush lobster-tail halves all over with olive oil. Set grill to medium-high heat. Place the lobster halves on grill, meat side down. Grill for 5 minutes or until meat starts to char. Flip lobster halves. Grill for an additional 3 minutes or until meat is firm to the touch. Place lobster halves on plates meat side up. Ladle sauce over lobster halves. Serve immediately. Goes well with sautéed spinach. Or even ice cream. See the tidbit below.

TIDBITS

1) Vanilla pods make the popular vanilla ice cream, but strange ice-cream flavors abound. Such as:

lobster (used in this recipe)
cardamom black pepper
cayenne chocolate
fish and chip
garlic caramel
goat cheese beet
green tea
habanero bacon avocado
horseradish
hot dog
ketchup
kimchi
mayonnaise
olive oil
pineapple cilantro
pizza
roasted tumeric and ginger
squid ink
Sriracha
summer corn
sweet potato
Tabasco sauce
ube purple yam
wasabi

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Dutch Broodje Hagelslag

Dutch Breakfast

BROODJE HAGELSLAG

INGREDIENTS

1 slice white bread
2 teaspoons butter, softened
1 tablespoon chocolate sprinkles or Dutch chocolate sprinkles, hagelslag, if you can find it

Serves 1. Takes 3 minutes.

PREPARATION

Spread butter all over bread. Sprinkle with sprinkles.

Ponder on what an amazingly versatile and speedy chef you’ve become.

TIDBITS

1) In 1633, little Pieter van Voorburg went outside to play.

2) He got hungry. He went inside for food. Mama took time to give Pieter a slice of bread.

3) He ate the bread. Little bits of bread fell from his mouth on to an ant hill.

4) The black ants swarmed the crumbs and took them back to their hill. The ants’ antics entranced the little boy for over an hour. Then he grew hungry once more. He went inside for more food.

5) “Oh Pieter!” cried his very busy mother, “Here, have two slices and some butter too. Now leave me be.”

6) Pieter buttered the bread with his fingers. But now he also wanted meat on his bread. He started back to the house. Then he remembered how cross Mama had been. What to do? Aha! Ants were meat, weren’t they?

7) He grabbed some ants and spread them on the buttered bread. Pieter, ate his slice. It was good. He’d give the other ant-smeared slice to Mama. She’d be pleased at his thoughtfulness.

8) Mama’s scream told Pieter she thought otherwise. Once the shrieking abated, she said in between sobs, “There’s so many black ants that they look like chocolate sprinkles..”

9) Pieter and Mama looked at each other. Looked again. Mama said, “Why I declare, bread with butter and chocolate sprinkles would be very tasty.” And so, a national breakfast was born.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mason Jar Strawberry Ice Cream

American Dessert

MASON JAR STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM

INGREDIENTS

2 cups heavy whipping cream
5½ tablespoons sugar
2¼ teaspoons vanilla extract
⅛ teaspoon salt
2 cups whole strawberries, fresh or frozen

Makes 3 cups. Takes 15 minutes to make and 3 hours to firm in freezer.).

SPECIAL UTENSILS

food processor or blender
3 cup Mason jar or other airtight container

PREPARATION

Puree strawberries. Add all ingredients to Mason jar. Make sure that the lid to Mason jar is screwed on tightly. Shake jar for 5 minutes or until mixture thickens to the consistency of batter. Put jar in freezer. Let sit for 3 hours or until firm.

TIDBITS

1) Mason Jar Strawberry is fantastic. It’s so yummy. Only people who hate: whipping cream, sugar, vanilla extract, salt, and strawberries will dislike this dessert. That means billions and billions of people love it. People have adored this dessert for millennia. Lands without strawberries conquered surrounding peoples in a never ending quest to find wild strawberries. This is how the Roman Empire and the Mongol Empire, among others, grew to be so big.

2) Alas, the Romans and the Mongols despite their mighty armies never did manage to find, much less conquer, a land with strawberries. Their subjects grew sullen and defiant. Finally, their peoples rose up and overthrew their non-strawberry-providing rulers. (Okay, with a little help from invading foreign armies.)

3) Rulers then sent expeditions to find strawberries. This is really how Columbus sold Queen Isabella on finding the Americas. The idea that the Spanish went exploring to find gold was just a cover. The conquistadors wanted the real wealth, strawberries, just to themselves. Seeing the Spaniards’ success, other nations sent our their explorers to find their own La Fresado, The Land of Strawberries. Pretty darn quick, the entire globe got explored. International trade boomed between the old countries and the new strawberry-growing lands. We owe it all to the yummy strawberry.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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