Posts Tagged With: beef

Mincemeat Pie

British Dessert

MINCEMEAT PIE

INGREDIENTS – DOUGH

3¼ cups flour (2 tablespoons more later)
1¾ cups confectioners’ sugar (1 tablespoon more later)
1¼ cups butter, cubed
1 egg
ice water, 1 teaspoon at a time, as necessary
2 tablespoons flour

INGREDIENTS – FINAL

1 28-ounce jar mincemeat
1 tablespoon confectioners’ sugar

SPECIAL UTENSILS

round pastry cutter, glass cup, or muffin tray
sonic obliterator

Makes 12 small pies. Takes 2 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION – DOUGH

Add 3¼ cups flour and confectioners’ sugar to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Use cold hands to fold butter and egg into flour. Add ice water 1 teaspoon at a time, if necessary, until dough starts to form a ball without being sticky. (Don’t over do it.) Cover pastry and let chill in refrigerator for 15 minutes. (You might to re-roll the dough so you can make more circles.)

Dust flat surface with 2 tablespoons flour. Place about ¼ of the dough at a time on flat surface.. Leave the rest in the refrigerator until needed. (You really do want to work with cold dough.) Roll out dough until it is 1/6″ thick. Use round pastry cutter to make a large circle sufficiently wide to fill the bottom and side of muffin cups, about 5″ wide. Re-roll the dough as needed to make more circles.

Line muffin cups with 5″ dough circles. Now make 12 small circles wide enough to cover the top of the muffin, about 3″ wide. Use ¼ of the remaining dough, left over from making the 5″ circles, Leaving the rest in the refrigerator until needed.

PREPARATION – FINAL

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Fill the pastry-lined muffin cups ¾ full with mincemeat. Cover with 3″ dough circles. These lids should overlap the mincemeat-filled pastry cups. (But not go over onto the rest of the muffin tin.) Gently push down on lid edges to form seals. Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool on wire racks then sprinkle mincemeat pies with 1 tablespoon confectioners’ sugar. Or serve right away. Zap any guest who doesn’t fully appreciate the care you took in making this dish.

TIDBITS

1) Mincemeat pies don’t have mincemeat in them.

2) But way back in the 16th century, in Tudor times, they did.

3) Because meat was cheaper than fruit in those days. The meats of choice were: beef, venison, and lamb. There was even a Tudor poem about this.

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep.
But where did they go?
Into a neighbor’s pie they weeped.
Ho, ho. Ho, ho. Ho, ho.

In real life, the next-door neighbor was usually a rapacious, unfettered lord, who supported King Henry VIII. So many sheep were stolen by the greedy nobility that the peasantry became increasingly disgruntled.  It didn’t help that space aliens kidnaped the remaining sheep in 1535. Since the extraterrestrial sheep abductions occurred at night, no one saw them happen. The poor people naturally blamed the barons, lords, and earls.

A surly mob of peasants gathered at the Duke of York’s castle demanding the return of all their sheep. We are lucky to have the following exchange in writing as the historian John Haggis was just happened to be present. Here it is:

Surly Peasant Leader: We want our sheep back!
Duke of York: There are no sheep. I have no sheep. No one has sheep.
Surly Peasant 1: We don’t believe you.
Duke of York: I don’t care.
Surly Peasant 2: But how can we make mincemeat pies without sheep?
Duke of York: Eat mincemeat pie made from giraffes.
Surly Peasant Leader: C’mon lads, lets throw Duke Greedypants from off the castle walls.

They stormed the castle and they him down into the moat. This act precipitated a rather serious revolt with the rather mild title of The Pilgrimage of Grace. Eventually, King Henry VIII had this revolt put down.

But the king had seen the writing on the wall. King Henry proclaimed in The Great Ingredient Decree of 1538 that no matter the prevailing conditions of the realm, every peasant would had a right to find all she needed to make a proper mincemeat pie. Since, the sheep were all gone, pie makers switched to beef. Centuries later, the price of fruit began to fall compared to that of beef. So the beef in the pies began to be phased out in favor of dried fruits. Nowadays, mincemeat pies have no meat in them at all. Now you know. Oh, the sheep found their way back to Earth and England in 1567,

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Smoked Beef Brisket

American Entree

SMOKED BEEF BRISKET

INGREDIENTS

1½ tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon chili powder
¼ cup garlic salt
½ tablespoon paprika
9 pounds beef brisket
½ cup beef broth
1 12-ounce can beer

SPECIAL UTENSILS

wood chips (apple or oak)
smoker
electric thermometer
baking pan
tin foil
sonic obliterator

Serves 10. Takes at least 10 hours, perhaps up to many more. Smokers vary, the marbling of the fat in the brisket varies. Perhaps the Incan monkey god is angry with you. In this case, your brisket will take a long time. Perhaps eleventy hours is the most accurate. I strongly suggest putting that brisket in the smoker at the crack of dawn. If you’re up to it, start it at midnight and monitor periodically through the night. Will this make you lose sleep? Yes. Also, a small brisket will take less time.

PREPARATION

Get up at dawn, 6 a.m., or even earlier. Add wood chips to smoker. Preheat smoker to 235 degrees. Start cooking after getting up in the morning. Add brown sugar, chili powder, garlic salt, and paprika to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Rub mixture all over brisket.

When temperature of smoker reaches 235 degrees, place brisket on grill with the fatty side closest to the heating coil. Put thermometer in the thickest part of the meat. Smoke until brisket’s internal temperature reaches 165 degrees. This should take about 6 hours, varying greatly depending on your smoker and whether or not you have led a virtuous life. I hope you have. ☺

Pause and reflect, pause and reflect until the temperature of the brisket reaches 165 degrees. Using cooking gloves carefully remove the brisket and put it in the baking pan. (Close door quickly as possible to minimize loss of heat and smoke. Pour beef broth and beer evenly over brisket. Cover brisket with tin foil. Put covered brisket back in smoker. Put thermometer back in the thickest part of the brisket. Cook until internal temperature reaches 205 degrees.

Remove brisket and let sit for 40 minutes. Cut meat across the grain to ¼” thick slices. This is large and lengthy meal. Use sonic obliterator on any guest making even the slightest complaint.

TIDBITS

1) Our spaceships have visited every planet and all the big asteroids in the Solar System.

2) We’ve even sent our spacecraft past the Oort Cloud and into outer space.

3) It seems as if our spaceships have nothing left to explore.

4) This page has a lot of space left. Let’s explore the rest of this page.

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Beef With Chestnuts

Croatian Entree

BEEF WITH CHESTNUTS

INGREDIENTS

1 pound chestnuts
6 cups water
1 large onion
1½ pounds sirloin, tenderloin, or rump
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
½ tablespoon paprika
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup water

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut an 1″ wide “x” on both sides of each chestnut. Make the cut deep enough to cut through the shell. (This keeps the chestnut from exploding. This really can happen if you omit this step.) Add chestnuts and 6 cups water to pot. Boil on medium-high heat for 45 minutes or until chestnuts become tender, the chestnut shells start to open and become easy to peel. (This is important. A shell that isn’t easy to peel will take forever.) Remove from heat. Cover with kitchen towel. Let cool for 5 minutes. Peel chestnuts. Discard shells.

While chestnuts cook, dice onion. Cut sirloin into 1″ cubes. Add onion and oil to 2ndt pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add sirloin cubes, paprika, pepper, and salt. Sauté for 5 minutes or until sirloin cubes brown on all sides. Stir frequently. Add 1 cup water. Reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes or until sirloin cubes become tender. Use slotted spoon to add chestnuts to pot with sirloin cubes. Add enough water to cover. Simmer at medium heat for 15 minutes or until chestnuts soften. Stir occasionally.

TIDBITS

1) Beef and chestnuts can only be placed next to each after both get cooked, because they tend to fight each other when they are alive. This hostility stems from the one and only beef/chestnut drive. It started in 1898 in Bend, Oregon and was to have ended in the port of New Orleans. Beef and chestnuts were ferociously desired by American troops fighting the Spanish in Cuba. But from the start, the beeves taunted the chestnut trees for their extreme slowness. This was harsh as chestnuts trees were the fasted trees around, due to their tiny feet.

2) Anyway, the chestnut trees took offense at this verbal onslaught and proclaimed they’d go no further. To show their resolve, they evolved their feet to become roots. Nowadays, you need to look for chestnuts in the stationary-nut-tree section of your supermarket. Oh, and there are no more chestnut drives. The days of the chestnutboys are long gone except in movies.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Atlanta Brisket

American Entree

ATLANTA BRISKET

INGREDIENTS

3½ pounds beef brisket
½ teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1¼ cups ketchup or bottled chili sauce
1 packet instant onion soup mix
4 cups Coca ColaTM
2 tablespoons vegetable oil

SPECIAL UTENSILS

9″ x 13″ casserole dish
tin foil, if your casserole dish doesn’t have a lid
particle accelerator (Costs billions. Start saving.)

Serves 6. Takes 4 hours 30 minutes plus at least 6 hours to marinate.

PREPARATION

Add brisket to casserole dish. Use fork to poke holes in brisket. Rub garlic powder, paprika, salt, and pepper onto brisket. Add ketchup, onion soup mix, and Coca Cola. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for at least 6 hours or overnight. Turn every 2 hours, if possible.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Remove brisket from casserole dish and add to pan. (Keep marinade in casserole dish.) Add vegetable oil. Sauté for 10 minutes on medium-high heat or until brisket browns. Turn over once. Return brisket to casserole dish. Cover and bake at 350 degrees for 4 hours or until meat is tender to the fork. Add Coca Cola, if necessary, to keep brisket from drying out. Goes well with sides or desserts prepared by someone else. ☺

TIDBITS

1) Instant onion soup mix transforms soup instantly into cold onion soup with the addition of water.

2) Of course, onion soup is much tastier warm. As we know, there are three ways to heat onion soup: the stove top, the microwave, and the particle accelerator.

3) For the last method, simply put your bowl in the particle accelerator. Press the start button and whoosh, piping hot soup. Before you do though, and I cannot stress this strongly enough, make sure your bowl is particle-accelerator safe. If not, you might melt down an entire town, which your surviving neighbors will hold against you for a long time.

Leave a message. I’d like to hear from you.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Danish Millionbøf

Danish Entree

MILLIONBØF

INGREDIENTSMillionBof-

1 pound potatoes
1 large onion
2 teaspoons butter
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 pound ground beef (85% lean is best)
2 tablespoons flour
1¾ cups beef stock
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons gravy browning or dark gravy

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Peel potatoes. Cut potatoes into fourths. Put potato fourths in large pot. Boil on high heat for 20 minutes.

While potatoes are boiling, dice onion. Add onion, butter, and vegetable oil to pan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until it starts to brown or BEGINS TO SOFTEN. Stir frequently. Add ground beef. Reduce heat to medium. Cook for 3-to-5 minutes or until beef starts to brown. Stir occasionally.

After potatoes have been boiled for 20 minutes, remove them from pot. Put potatoes in large mixing bowl. Mash them. Add flour to pan with ground beef. Stir until well blended. Add beef stock, pepper, and salt.. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 20 minutes or until less than half of the liquid is left. Stir occasionally. Add gravy browning. Stir until well blended. Serve over mashed potatoes.

TIDBITS

1) Bøf is Danish for beef. Bøf is also a palindrome for føb. Føb isn’t Danish for anything, although the Danes do have a word for everything that exists. Føb is just a reserve word the Danes have just in case something really new is discovered, such as a carnivorous, ambulatory fig looking tree on Mars. (CAMFLTOM)

2) The Danish Official Word Naming Association (DOWNA) would then look down their list of approved new words. If føb were at the top of the list, then the CAMFTOM would be called “føb.”

3) There’s more. Take the first letter away from føb and you get øf, the Danish word for oink. Now you know both of Denmark’s really necessary words. Remember the song, “If I could talk to the Danes?” Well, now you can. Go visit Denmark. Visit today, before you lose your vocabulary.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Boeuf Bourguignon

French Entree

BOEUF BOURGUIGNON

INGREDIENTSBoeufBourguignon-

2½ pounds beef chuck
2 garlic cloves
1 large onion
1 shallot
1 bay leaf*
5 peppercorns*
3 sprigs fresh parsley*
1 sprig fresh thyme*
2⅓ cups red Burgundy or Pinot Noir
2 tablespoons olive oil (1½ tablespoons more later)
3 slices bacon
2 carrots
12 pearl onions
1½ tablespoons olive oil.
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons flour
1½ tablespoons parsley flakes
⅓ cup brandy
2 cups beef stock
12 new (young, small) potatoes
1½ tablespoons (optional garnish)

* = bouquet garni

SPECIAL UTENSILS

kitchen string.
Dutch oven
colander
sonic obliterator

Makes 8 bowls. Takes 8 hours.

PREPARATION

Cut beef into 1½” cubes. Mince garlic cloves. Dice onion and shallot. Crush peppercorns with kitchen mallet. Tie parsley sprigs and thyme with kitchen string. Insert bay leaf and peppercorns into bundle of parsley and thyme. This bundle is called bouquet garni.

Add beef cubes, garlic, onion, shallot, bouquet garni, Burgundy, and 2 tablespoons olive oil to large mixing bowl. Stir with spoon until well blended and beef is completely coated. Cover and let marinate for 3½ hours.

While beef marinates, cut bacon into ½” by 1″ strips. Slice carrots into ½” cubes. Peel pearl onions. Peel potatoes. (This is easier if you boil them for one minute and let cool.) Add bacon and 1½ tablespoons olive oil to Dutch oven. Heat oil using medium-high heat. It will be hot enough when a bacon strip will sizzle when added to Dutch oven. Carefully add bacon strips to oven. Sauté at medium-high heat or until bacon starts to brown. Stir frequently. Remove bacon to plate with a paper towel on it. Keep bacon grease and oil in Dutch oven.

Add pearl onions to Dutch oven. Sauté at low heat for 5 minutes or until they are completely brown. Gently and occasionally stir onions with spoon to ensure even cooking. Remove pearl onions and set aside.

Remove beef cubes from mixing bowl. Keep the remaining marinade. Pat beef cubes dry with paper towel. Discard bouquet garni. Strain marinade through colander. Keep the marinade. Discard the solids left in the colander

Add ¼th of the beef cubes to Dutch oven. Sauté at medium-high heat for 4 minutes or until beef is completely browned. Stir frequently. Sauté the rest of the beef in batches. This gives them enough room for even browning.) Add all sautéed beef cubes to Dutch oven. Add pepper, salt, and flour. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes or until flour blends completely with marinade. Stir gently and frequently.

Add brandy to Dutch oven. Simmer on low heat for 5 minutes or until brandy evaporates. Occasionally scrape brown bits from the bottom and ladle them over the beef cubes. Add marinade from mixing bowl and beef stock. Cover. Simmer on low heat for 2 hour or until beef cubes start to become tender.

Add potatoes and enough water to cover them to a separate pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to medium-high and boil for 15 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Drain.

Add reserved pearl onions, carrot, and bacon strips. Cover Dutch oven again. Simmer at low heat for 35 minutes or until beef cubes are tender. Skim off any fat from surface of stew. Bring stew to boil using medium-high heat. Serve immediately with potatoes. This dish is also great the next day.

TIDBITS

1) This is a truly tasty dish. It also takes a lot of time. So, if your sweethearts complain about this dish in any way or for any length of time be it only a muttered, “Bah,” zap them with your sonic obliterator. The relationships weren’t meant to be.

2) However, if they say your boeuf bourguignon is the best dish ever or if they say it is even tastier than you are good looking which they thought wasn’t possible, then you have keepers.

3) However, if a sweetheart makes this dish for you and it is good, real good, then you have met an angel on Earth. Propose marriage immediately.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Ćevapi – Bosnian Sausage

Bosnian Entree

ĆEVAPI
(sausage)

INGREDIENTScevapi-

2 cloves garlic
1 small onion
1 pound ground beef
1 pound ground lamb
½ teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon parsley
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt

Makes 48 small sausages. Serves 6. Takes 30 minutes.

PREPARATION                                                                                      The Big Bang shown with sausages.

Mine garlic and onion. Add all ingredients to small mixing bowl. Mix thoroughly with hands. Make sausages 2″ long and 1″ wide. Grill using medium heat for 5-to-10 minutes or sausage is brown and cooked through.

Goes quite well in somun, a Bosnia pita bread, or pita loaves. Ćevapi also pairs well with ŝopska salata, a salad consisting of: tomato, cucumber, onions, peppers, sirene or feta cheese, and parsley.

TIDBITS

1) A startling new theory says the entire universe started as a big, big, really big, gigantic even, Bosnian sausage.

2) In splendid contrast to old Big Bang thought, this theory explains how the Big Bang started.

3) It started when someone wrapped the immensely vast Bosnian sausage in aluminum foil and put it a microwave that measured light years across, then set the microwave for 30 minutes.

4) Boom!

5) The Big Bang! Billions and billions of smaller Bosnian sausages flung out in every direction. With time, gravity and radiation from the exploded microwave produced stars, planets, Bosnia, Leonard Nimoy, and Taco BellTM.

6) How do we know this? Because we have brains. Bosnia is an anagram for “ao bains,” which is close to “O, brains.” Coincidence? I don’t think so.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Iraqi Potato Beef Casserole (kibbe batata)

Iraqi Entree

POTATO BEEF CASSEROLE
(kibbe batata)

INGREDIENTSKibbeBatata-

6 medium brown potatoes
½ teaspoon turmeric

2 garlic cloves
1 onion
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 pound ground beef or lamb
3 tablespoons parsley
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt

no-stick spray
2½ tablespoons butter
½ tablespoon cinnamon

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ x 13″ casserole dish
Serves 117 square inches

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Peel potatoes. Cut each potato into eight pieces. Put potato pieces into large pot. Add enough water to cover potato bits. Bring water to boil on high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about 20 minutes or until potato is tender. Drain potatoes. Mash potatoes with potato masher. Add turmeric to pot. Use whisk to blend mashed potatoes and turmeric together.

While potato is cooking, mince garlic cloves and onion. Put garlic, onion, and vegetable oil in pan. Sauté at medium-high for 5 minutes. Stir frequently. Add ground beef, parsley, pepper, and salt. Cook on medium heat for 5 minutes or until beef is no longer pink.

Spray casserole dish with no stick spray. Cut butter into tiny cubes. Add ½ of mashed potatoes to casserole dish. Smooth mashed potatoes with spoon or spatula. Add ground-beef mix. Smooth ground beef. Add remaining ½ of mashed potatoes to casserole dish. Smooth mashed potatoes. Sprinkle tiny butter cubes and cinnamon over top layer of mashed potatoes.

Bake casserole at 350 degrees for 30-to-40 minutes or until top of casserole turns golden brown. Cut casseroles into squares, diamonds, or rectangles and serve to lovers of good food and friends of geometric shapes everywhere.

TIDBITS

1) This entree is Iraqi.

2) Iraqi food is great, however Iraqi is poor word for making anagrams.

3) You can use the word Iraqi to form the anagram “Qi air.”

4) Qi is a word that is only used in ScrabbleTM games. I don’t know what it means. I don’t play Scrabble anymore.

5) There is a persistent suspicion among culinary wordsmiths that wars and all types of fighting in that country occur to justify the use of the words Iraq, Iraqi, and Iraqis in Scrabble.

6) But what if Iraq were to split into separate countries?

7) Iraq and Iraqi would be taken out of the Scrabble dictionary.

8) And what if you had the tiles IRAQISW in your possession, and you could use the “q” for a triple-letter score and the entire word could be doubled?

9) And what if you were playing the leaders of the superpowers for world domination, the game was about to end because one of the leaders wanted to eat a lutefisk sandwich at the table, and the points from I1R1A1Q10I1S1 are enough to give you the game?

10) Well, you’d lose because Iraq wouldn’t exist anymore in Scrabble. You’d have to go back to your spouse in your tiny apartment who’d ask you where you’d been.

11) You’d say, “Honey, I’ve been playing the nations’ leader Scrabble for world domination.”

12) You’d be told, “Like I haven’t heard that one before. Did you get the milk like I asked you?”

13) A dark mood would envelop you. You’d head to KwikiMart thinking, “If I were the world’s dictator, I could send someone else out to get milk.”

14) On the way home, you’d realize that if Iraq were to split into three nations, the country of Kurdistan would come into existence.

15) What if you had the tiles K5U1R1D2I1S1T1S1 and you could place them in front of AN already on the board for triple K and triple word?

16) Why you’d win the game for sure! You’d be the Earth’s El Supremo. You’d have a milk fetcher on your permanent staff. Chocolate malteds anytime you want! World domination is great!

17) Did you keep the phone numbers of the world’s leaders? Great. Be sure to get those honey-mustard potato chips that Madame President likes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Mantis (Kazakhstani Dumpling)

Kazakhstani Entree

MANTIS

INGREDIENTS – FILLINGMantis-

1 pound ground lamb, ground beef, or combination
1 onion
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt

INGREDIENTS – DOUGH

up to 4 cups flour (plus two more tablespoons later)
1 cup water
⅔ cup olive oil
1 egg
6 tablespoons butter

no-stick spray

INGREDIENTS – YOGURT SAUCE

1 garlic clove
2 cups plain yogurt
½ teaspoon dill
½ teaspoon mint

SPECIAL UTENSIL

sonic obliterator

Makes about 30 mantis or dumplings

PREPARATION – FILLING

Mince onion. Add onion, lamb, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until ingredients are well blended.

PREPARATION – DOUGH

Add 2 cups flour, water, olive oil, and egg to large mixing bowl. Mix together with large spoon until dough is well blended. Add up to 2 cups more flour until dough loses its liquid feel. Cover and let sit for 45 minutes. Dust cutting board or flat surface with 2 tablespoons flour. Roll out dough until it is 1/16″ thick. Cut dough into 4″ inch squares. Put an equal amount of butter in the middle of each square.

PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY AND STEAMING

Add an equal amount of lamb mix to the middle of each square. Push the corner of each square over the lamb mix to the center. Wet your fingers and pinch the folds together. (See first picture below.) Push the top folds down until they meet the bottom of the lamb-mix bump. Push the folds up until they meet the top of the lamb-mix bump. This is the manti. (See second picture below.)

MantiRaw2-MantiRaw1-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Add 1″ of water to large pot, one that will fit your colander. Bring water to boil on high heat. Spray colander with no-stick spray. Put colander in pot. Put mantis in colander. Cover colander and pot. Reduce heat to low. Steam mantis on low heat for 15-to-20 minutes or until done.

PREPARATION – YOGURT SAUCE

While mantis steam, mince garlic. Add garlic, yogurt, dill, and mint to small mixing bowl. Mix ingredients with whisk.

PREPARATION – SERVING

Remove mantis from colander with slotted spoon. Serve mantis hot with yogurt sauce on the side. Serve to appreciative guests. Use sonic obliterator on the unappreciative.

TIDBITS

1) Stan at the end of a Asian country’s name means “Land of the …:” So Kazakhstan means Land of the Kazakhs.But Stan Musial just means Mr. Musial’s parents called him Stan because they liked his name. Stan Musial was a great baseball player. Stan Laurel was a famous comedian

2) Unfortunately, being named Stan does not ensure greatness.

3) If all the worlds Stan’s were to form a country, they could call it Stanstan. I’d visit.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Guriltai Shul (Mongolian Soup)

Mongolian Soup

GURILTAI SHUL

INGREDIENTSGuriltaiShul-

2 potatoes
2 carrots
1 onion
12 ounces whole cut of lamb or beef (You have a lot of leeway here.)
12 ounces egg noodles
¾ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
8 cups lamb stock or beef stock

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Dice potatoes, carrots, and onion. Cut meat into strips ½” wide and 2″ long..

Add vegetable oil and onion to Dutch oven. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add meat. Sauté for 3 minutes at medium-high heat or until meat browns. Stir frequently. Add carrots, potatoes. Reduce heat to medium and cook for 3 minutes. Stir occasionally.

Add pepper, salt, and stock to Dutch oven. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 20 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add noodles. Bring soup to oil then reduce heat to low and let soup simmer for another 10 minutes or until noodles are soft. Serve hot.

TIDBITS

1) Mongolia took a 2010 livestock census. I’m impressed. America expends a lot of effort and money taking a census of just its humans. How did Mongolia do it? It’s not as if the country’s critters have a fixed address. How did they make sure they counted every animal or didn’t double or triple count them? It’s hard to tell sheep and goats apart. Oh sure, you can differentiate between two goats if they’re male and female, but there’s millions of male goats and millions of female goats. You can’t ask the sheep’s name. Even if you could get the sheep to reply, they probably have only four different names like, Baakaa, Baama, BaaRaa, and Baazaa. But the Mongolians managed to take what they thought was a reasonably accurate census of their livestock. As I said, I’m impressed.

2) And just how did the Mongols get their livestock to answer the census’s questions? Do they have someone who can talk to the animals? I had always thought Hugh Lofting’s The Story of Doctor Dolittle was pure fiction, but now I think it was really based on a Mongolian veterinarian.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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