Posts Tagged With: entree

Armenian Pork Kebabs With Pomegranate Marinade

Armenian Entree

PORK KEBABS WITH POMEGRANATE MARINADE

INGREDIENTS

1¾ cups pomegranate juice
1 pound boneless pork loin
½ teaspoon garlic powder
¾ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
1¼ teaspoons oregano
1 small onion

SPECIAL UTENSILS

skewers
outdoor grill

Serves 4. Takes 4 hours.

PREPARATION

Add pomegranate juice to pan. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low-medium. Simmer for 25 minutes or until or until pomegranate juice reduces to 1 cup of syrup. Stir enough to prevent clumping Cut pork into 1″ cubes. Add pork cubes, pomegranate syrup, garlic powder, pepper, salt, olive oil, and oregano to mixing bowl. Mix with fork until cubes are completely coated. Cover and refrigerate for 3 hours. (Reserve the marinade.)

While pork cubes marinate, slice onion into 1″ squares. Add 1 pork cube and 1 onion square onto skewer until skewer is full. Repeat for each skewer until pork and onion is gone. Set grill to medium-high. Grill for 15 minutes or until pork cubes start to char and are no longer pink inside. Rotate 3 times.

Place skewers on serving plate. Add reserved marinade to pot. Simmer on medium heat until marinade is warm. Transfer marinade to 1 dipping bowl per guest.

TIDBITS

1) Early Armenians used to make a game out of eating their Pork Kebabs. Players would alternate pulling off a cube of pork or a square of onion off their skewers. Anyone who made the rest of the pork and onion fall off lost. The game always ended in a tie. Nothing falls off a skewer. Then the clever Leslie Scott invented the ever popular game, JengaTM. The Jenga tower of wooden blocks can easily fall down, making it a much more exciting game. But, you can’t eat Jenga. There is a trade off.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Be Kind

I’ve been there.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Tibs From Ethiopia

Ethiopian Entree

TIBS

INGREDIENTS

1½ pounds sirloin, lamb, or venison
1 red onion or 2 yellow onions
2 teaspoons fresh cilantro
2 tomatoes
5 garlic cloves
¼ cup niter kibbeh*, ghee*, or butter
2 tablespoons Berbere* spice
4 teaspoons ginger
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
½ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
¼ cup red wine
1 teaspoon lemon juice

* = May be found in ethnic supermarkets or online.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

mandoline

Serves 6. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut sirloin into 1″ cubes. Use mandoline or knife to slice red onion ⅛” thick. Dice cilantro and tomatoes. Mince garlic cloves. Melt niter kibbeh using medium heat. Add Berbere spice, garlic, ginger, and onion to 1st large pan. Sauté for 3 minutes at medium heat. Stir frequently.

Add vegetable oil and sirloin cubes to 2nd large pan. Leave space between sirloin cubes. (You might have to cook in batches.) Sauté cubes at medium-high heat for 3 minutes or until they are seared on the bottom. Flip the cubes over and sear on the new bottom side for 2 minutes. Continue to turn sirloin cubes until you get your desired level of doneness..

Add sirloin cubes to 1st large pan with the sautéed onion. Add cilantro, tomato, pepper, salt, and red wine. Simmer at medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir enough to prevent burning. Add lemon juice. Stir until well blended. Dish goes well with injera or other flatbread.

TIDBITS

1) This dish, Tibs, is made from sirloin cubes or sirloin bits. This dish was called Sirloin Bits, at first. But,. Sirloin Bits got shortened to Bits. A dyslexic man typed Bits instead of Tibs on a restaurant’s menu. Diners everywhere loved this food. So we now label this entree, Tibs.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Grilled Lobster Tails With Vanilla Sauce From Comoros

Comorian Entree

GRILLED LOBSTER TAILS WITH VANILLA SAUCE
(Langouste à la Vanille)

INGREDIENTS

2 vanilla bean pods (Madagascan are preferred)
3 shallots
¼ cup butter
⅓ cup white wine
4 lobster tails
½ cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons olive oil

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Outdoor grill or grill pan

Serves 4. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Split vanilla bean pods lengthwise. Scoop out tiny seeds with knife. Keep vanilla pods. Mince shallots. Add butter and shallot to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 4 minutes or until shallot softens. Stir frequently. Add vanilla seeds, vanilla pods, and wine. Bring to boil, stirring frequently. then reduce heat to low. Simmer for 2 minutes or until liquid reduces by half. Stir frequently. Add heavy cream. Simmer for 3 minutes or until sauce starts to bubble. Stir frequently. Remove vanilla pod. Cover pan and remove from heat

Split the lobster tails in half lengthwise. Brush lobster-tail halves all over with olive oil. Set grill to medium-high heat. Place the lobster halves on grill, meat side down. Grill for 5 minutes or until meat starts to char. Flip lobster halves. Grill for an additional 3 minutes or until meat is firm to the touch. Place lobster halves on plates meat side up. Ladle sauce over lobster halves. Serve immediately. Goes well with sautéed spinach. Or even ice cream. See the tidbit below.

TIDBITS

1) Vanilla pods make the popular vanilla ice cream, but strange ice-cream flavors abound. Such as:

lobster (used in this recipe)
cardamom black pepper
cayenne chocolate
fish and chip
garlic caramel
goat cheese beet
green tea
habanero bacon avocado
horseradish
hot dog
ketchup
kimchi
mayonnaise
olive oil
pineapple cilantro
pizza
roasted tumeric and ginger
squid ink
Sriracha
summer corn
sweet potato
Tabasco sauce
ube purple yam
wasabi

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Smoked Beef Brisket

American Entree

SMOKED BEEF BRISKET

INGREDIENTS

1½ tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon chili powder
¼ cup garlic salt
½ tablespoon paprika
9 pounds beef brisket
½ cup beef broth
1 12-ounce can beer

SPECIAL UTENSILS

wood chips (apple or oak)
smoker
electric thermometer
baking pan
tin foil
sonic obliterator

Serves 10. Takes at least 10 hours, perhaps up to many more. Smokers vary, the marbling of the fat in the brisket varies. Perhaps the Incan monkey god is angry with you. In this case, your brisket will take a long time. Perhaps eleventy hours is the most accurate. I strongly suggest putting that brisket in the smoker at the crack of dawn. If you’re up to it, start it at midnight and monitor periodically through the night. Will this make you lose sleep? Yes. Also, a small brisket will take less time.

PREPARATION

Get up at dawn, 6 a.m., or even earlier. Add wood chips to smoker. Preheat smoker to 235 degrees. Start cooking after getting up in the morning. Add brown sugar, chili powder, garlic salt, and paprika to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Rub mixture all over brisket.

When temperature of smoker reaches 235 degrees, place brisket on grill with the fatty side closest to the heating coil. Put thermometer in the thickest part of the meat. Smoke until brisket’s internal temperature reaches 165 degrees. This should take about 6 hours, varying greatly depending on your smoker and whether or not you have led a virtuous life. I hope you have. ☺

Pause and reflect, pause and reflect until the temperature of the brisket reaches 165 degrees. Using cooking gloves carefully remove the brisket and put it in the baking pan. (Close door quickly as possible to minimize loss of heat and smoke. Pour beef broth and beer evenly over brisket. Cover brisket with tin foil. Put covered brisket back in smoker. Put thermometer back in the thickest part of the brisket. Cook until internal temperature reaches 205 degrees.

Remove brisket and let sit for 40 minutes. Cut meat across the grain to ¼” thick slices. This is large and lengthy meal. Use sonic obliterator on any guest making even the slightest complaint.

TIDBITS

1) Our spaceships have visited every planet and all the big asteroids in the Solar System.

2) We’ve even sent our spacecraft past the Oort Cloud and into outer space.

3) It seems as if our spaceships have nothing left to explore.

4) This page has a lot of space left. Let’s explore the rest of this page.

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, things to see and do | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I Simplify Darts

Simple, Safe Darts

Has this happened to you? You’re off to the local bar to play for the Dart Championship. You have a five-year old girl, Stella. She adores you. She wants to play darts with you. “You can’t play darts with me, sweetie,” you say, “They serve beer and whisky there. You far too young to drink that stuff. Sorry, you’ll have to stay at home.”

Stella sulks and sulks. In fact, she will sulk every single day until she’s old enough to leave the house. During that time, she comes to learn about and revere Lizzie Borden, the woman who killed both her parents with an axe. Fortunately, you have a time machine. You go into the future and learn of your bloody demise. You recognize right away that you don’t want this.

So,

you buy the little princess her own darts and dartboard. Alas, being five-years old, Stella’s aim is quite poor. Her toss veers wildly off course and skewers Timmy’s right hand. Timmy will never master cursive writing. His classmates will tease him incessantly. Timmy will withdraw into himself. He’ll never write A Blueprint for Resolving All Disputes Everywhere. Without this blueprint, future wars won’t be stopped. Not ever. You go into the future again and are appalled.

So,

you buy Stella, foam darts and a foam dartboard. This time around–Hee hee, see what I did there–she doesn’t hurt anyone. However, add 17 + 3*20 and 13 proves too much for Stella’s young untrained mind. She learns to hate math. She develops a lively hatred for intellectuals and learning in general. Your princess nutures this hatred into a fierce desire to become President, or Prime Minister, if she moves to Britain. Once in power, she’ll completely sever all funding at all levels for education. Her country soon becomes completely ignorant of all things. Soon, the entire nation will be reduced to hunter/gatherers and is living in caves. You see this after travelling once more into the future. You resolve to stop this too as well.

So,

you again make Stella form darts and dartboard. This time, hee hee, the dartboard looks like the one above. Every toss of her dart, results in a score of one or zero. Even your young Stella can add ones and zeros. So, she won’t follow you to the bar. She won’t pierce her brother’s hand with a dart. She won’t reduce an entire nation to caveman status. In fact, Stella will growsup to be incredibly average. She’ll blends into the background and never really get noticed for anything.

But given, her alternative timelimes, you are very happy at that. You might even go to the bar and have two beers to celebrate.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: I simplify | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dajaj Mashwi (Grilled Chicken) From Saudi Arabia

Saudi Entree

DAJAJ MASHWI
(Grilled Chicken)

INGREDIENTS

2 pounds boneless chicken breasts
1½ tablespoons lime juice
4 teaspoons olive oil (1 tablespoon more later)
¾ teaspoon chili powder
½ teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon garlic powder
¾ teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon sesame seeds
½ teaspoon sumac or za’atar, lemon zest, lemon pepper, tamarind, or vinegar
2 Roma tomatoes
1 medium yellow onion.
1 tablespoon olive oil

SPECIAL UTENSILS

plastic wrap
kitchen mallet
outdoor grill or grilling pan

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 15 minutes.

PREPARATION

Place plastic wrap on chicken breasts. Flatted chicken breasts with hammer. Add all other ingredients except Roma tomatoes and 1 tablespoon olive oil to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add chicken breasts. Turn chicken breasts until well coated. Marinate in refrigerator for 40 minutes

Slice onion into 8 pieces. Slice Roma tomatoes in half. Use brush to coat onion and tomato slices with 1 tablespoon olive oil. Add marinated chicken, onion slices to grill. Grill at medium heat for 15 minutes. Carefully flip everything once. Goes well with aioli sauce, spicy rice, and garlic sauce.

TIDBITS

1) Humans like grilled chicken. In fact, people love it so much, that no war was ever launched when soldiers ate grilled chicken. A happy, well-fed fighter simply isn’t in the mood to shoot anybody. So, tyrants wishing to invade another country, attack at weird hours in the morning when no one feels like eating. Or the dictator’s soldiers never get chicken. Either way, they’re grouchy and will fight.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Imbakbaka From Lybia

Libyan Entree

IMBAKBAKA

INGREDIENTS

1 pound boneless chicken parts or 1⅓ pounds with bone in
3 garlic cloves
1 jalapeno (optional)
1 medium onion
3 tablespoons olive oil or vegetable oil
¾ teaspoon cayenne
½ teaspoon cinnamon
½ tablespoon coriander
½ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon paprika
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon turmeric
3 tablespoons tomato paste
5 cups water
¾ pound elbow macaroni or other pasta
1 cup canned and drained garbanzo beans or diced carrots

Serves 6. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut or divide chicken into 8 pieces. Mince garlic. Seed jalapeno and cut it into long, thin strips. Dice onion. Add oil, garlic, and onion to large pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add chicken, cayenne, cinnamon, coriander, cumin, paprika, pepper, salt, and turmeric. Sauté at medium-high heat for 4 minutes or until chicken pieces brown on all sides. Stir frequently.

Reduce heat to medium. Add tomato paste. Cook for 3 minutes. Stir enough to prevent burning. Add water and jalapeno strips.. (The water should completely cover the chicken.) Bring to boil using high heat. Stir enough to prevent burning. Add macaroni and garbanzo beans. Reduce heat to low. Simmer for 20 minutes. Stir occasionally.

TIDBITS

1) Many avant-garde diners want to eat their Imbakbaka while using a force field. In this scenario, the chef tosses the contents of the pot into the air. The force field prevents gravity from bringing the food down to the table. The diners simply scoop up the food dangling in the air with their spoons. With no food hitting the table, the need for dishes disappears. Clean up becomes much easier. This advantage is no small thing to busy restaurant owners. However, the energy needed to maintain these force fields for one chef will use up the energy supply of the entire world. Bummer.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tuluk From Vanuatu

Vanuatuan Entree

TULUK

INGREDIENTS

1 cassava root (Also known as manioc or yucca)
1 garlic clove
1 green onion
1 small yellow onion
¾ cup coconut milk
⅓ pound ground pork
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
2 banana leaves

SPECIAL UTENSILS

grater
double boiler
toothpicks, if necessary
sonic obliterator

Serves 8. Takes 2 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel and grate cassava root. Dice garlic, green onion, and yellow onion. Add, coconut milk, garlic, green onion, and yellow onion to pan. Cook at medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Stir frequently. Add pork, pepper, and salt. Lower heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes or until milk has been absorbed. Stir enough to prevent burning.

While pork simmers, cut banana leaves into 10″-to-12″ squares. Run hot water over leaf squares. This will make them easier to roll up. Add 2 tablespoons of cassava to center-bottom of banana square. Gently flatten cassava, leaving a depression in middle

Put 2 tablespoons ground pork in cassava depression. Cover pork with an additional 2 tablespoons of cassava. Gently flatten cassava a bit. Fold in edges of leaf square. Slowly but firmly roll up banana square. This will be a tuluk. Repeat until all cassava, pork, or banana squares are used up.

Add water to bottom part of double boiler until it is 1″ from where top part of double boiler will be. Add tuluks, open side down. Use toothpicks if necessary to keep banana coverings in place. Pute tuluks next to each other. Put lid on. Bring water to boil. Reduce to low and steam for 1 hour or until the outer cassava of the tuluk is firm. (Check about 40 minutes into this hours to see the bottom will need more water. If there’s no water left, the tuluks won’t steam as well and you’ll burn your pot.) Serve to appreciative guests. Zap uncouth complainers with sonic obliterator. You don’t need negativity in your kitchen.

TIDBITS

1) Do you hate to go to parties? If forced to go, do you find yourself gravitating to the meatballs, shrimp cocktails, and Tuluks? Do you do this because you don’t know what to say, that the other guests will find you boring?

2) Well be shy now longer. Everybody loves a good joke about the ever so tasty Tuluk. Simply recite Tuluk jokes from this magnificent book. Soon, a crowd of partiers will be hanging on every joke. You will be become wildly popular. And wait there’s more. The opposite sex is drawn like a moth to a flame by Tuluk-joke tellers. Be admired. Be loved. Buy 1001 Sure-Fire Tuluk Party Jokes. You’ll be glad you did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tukasu (Stewed Beef With Dates) From Niger

Nigerien Entree

TUKASU
(Stewed Beef with Dates)

INGREDIENTS

½ tablespoon yeast
½ cup warm water
1¾ cups flour
¼ teaspoon salt (1 teaspoon more later)
1 pound beef chuck, round roast, or rump roast
2 garlic cloves
2 medium onions
9 dates. (If fresh, remove pits)
4 tomatoes
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (2 tablespoons more later)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 cup tomato sauce
¼ teaspoon aniseed
1 bay leaf
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1⅔ cups water

Serves 5. Takes 2 hours 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add yeast and ½ cup water to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until yeast dissolves. Let sit for 15 minutes. Add flour and ¼ teaspoon salt to medium mixing bowl. Mix with fork. Make a small depression in the middle of the flour. Pour yeasty water into depression. Knead flour/yeasty water until you get a big, non-sticky dough ball. Cover medium mixing bowl and let dough sit for 1 hour.

While dough sits, cut beef into 1″ cubes. Mince garlic cloves and onions. Dice dates and tomatoes. Add beef and 2 tablespoons oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until beef is completely browned. Stir enough to ensure even browning. Remove beef from heat.

Add 2 tablespoons oil, garlic, and onion to pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add tomato paste and return beef. Reduce heat to medium and cook for 2 minutes. Stir frequently. Add tomato sauce, aniseed, bay leaf, cinnamon, cumin, pepper, 1 teaspoon salt, and 1⅔ cups water to pot. Stir. Add diced dates and tomatoes. Cover stew and simmer on low heat for 25 minutes.

While stew simmers, divide the dough into 8 small dough balls. Cover with damp cloth and let sit for 30 minutes. Gently add small dough balls to pot. Simmer at low heat for another 40 minutes. Stir occasionally and gently. Remove bay leaf and serve.

TIDBITS

1) Tukasu is a stew.

2) “Stew” is an anagram for “wets.”

3) It is also as anagram for “west.”

4) Culinary anagramists will note that stew can be rearranged to form the word “stwe.”

5) Stwe is rarely used in normal conversation.

6) Oh my gosh, there’s a bunny outside my office window.

7) Bunny wants me to tell you there’s no such word in the English. Not even in medical terminology. Which is why none of the medical TV shows even say, “stwe.”

8) Bunny also says it not a French word, a Dutch word, nor even one in Latin.

9) Why did Bunny help me with this information? Because I feed him carrots and raisins.

10) My fair city, Poway, is justly proud of its multilingual rabbits.

11) Another arrangement of stwe is “twes.”

12) Twes is the plural form of twe.

13) As in, “Shall I take two twes or just one twe to the party?

14) My word! I forget the anagram “stew.”

15) Every word is its own anagram.

16) Like “onion” is an anagram for “onion.”

17) Oh sure it’s blindingly obvious now, but did you know that before you got to tidbit 16?

18) If you know of any real anagrams for “stwe” existing in other languages, please inform me.

21) And I’ll pass on your discovery to Bunny. Bunnies devote nearly all of theirs life searching for rabbit and watching out for hawks. The only real pleasure rabbits indulge in their rare leisure moments is creating new anagrams or finding out about new ones. Bunny and I thank you in advance for your help and consideration.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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