Posts Tagged With: entree

Kung Pao Chicken

Chinese Entree

KUNG PAO CHICKEN

INGREDIENTS

MARINADE

2 chicken breasts
2 cloves garlic
1 stalk green onion
1 tablespoon soy sauce (2 more tablespoons later)
1½ tablespoons cornstarch (1 teaspoon more later)
½ teaspoon ginger
¼ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice (¼ teaspoon more later)
2 teaspoons rice wine
1½ tablespoons water

SAUCE

1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon malt vinegar
¼ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon sesame oil

4 red chiles
½ cup unsalted roasted peanuts
1½ tablespoons vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vegetable oil

SPECIAL UTENSIL

wok or skillet

Serves 4. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION OF MARINADE

Cut chicken into 1-inch cubes. Mince garlic. Dice green onion. Mix 1½ tablespoons cornstarch, garlic, green onion, ginger, ¼ teaspoon poultry spice, rice wine, 1 tablespoon soy sauce, and water. Cover all sides of the chicken cubes with this mixture. Set aside for at least 30 minutes.

PREPARATION OF SAUCE

Combine 1 teaspoon cornstarch, malt vinegar, ¼ teaspoon poultry spice, salt, 2 tablespoons soy sauce, sugar, and sesame oil in 2nd mixing bowl. Set aside.

FINAL PREPARATION

Cut red chiles in half, remove seed, and mince (I cannot say strongly enough, WEAR GLOVES OR WASH YOUR HANDS THOROUGHLY WITH SOAP after touching the chiles and their seeds. They make your skin burn. My gosh, they cause pain. Don’t rub a throbbing temple or wipe sweat from your upper lip immediately after touching red chiles and their seeds. Your face will be on fire. And guy chefs, this is a really bad time to scratch your balls.)

Put unsalted peanuts and 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil in wok. Sauté at 350 degrees until peanuts start turning golden brown. Stir frequently. (The golden brown phase is astonishingly short. The following dark brown/black state is forever.)

Add the coated chicken cubes. Sauté at 350 degrees. Fry for 2 minutes or until chicken is done or no longer pink inside. Stir and turn cubes frequently.

Add red chiles and 2 tablespoons vegetable oil. Sauté at 350 degrees and stir until the peppers turn dark. Add soy/malt vinegar/sugar/sesame oil sauce. Cook until sauce thickens. Stir frequently.

Thank the person who washes and cleans after this meal. If you are both the cook and cleaner, sit down, have a cold root beer, and admire the halo above your head.

TIDBITS

1) If all strange dishes taste like chicken, why not have chicken?

2) Kung Pao chickens are much milder than their more peppery cousins, Kung Fu Chickens.

3) Peppers that look similar to each other can vary greatly in spiciness. So, keep that in mind when you and a bunch of friends from Madison, Wisconsin travel to St. Louis, Missouri to see two classmates get married and you all stop in a restaurant that serves free peppers.

4) Throat germs don’t like peppers either. Hah, take that!

5) Some people think that cuisine near the Equator is filled with peppery dishes because food didn’t keep well there before refrigeration. I think people in Cuba eat more peppers than the Swedes because peppers are grown in Cuba and not in Sweden.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Hot Dog Provencale

French Entree

HOT DOG PROVENÇALE

INGREDIENTS

2 6 ounce to-be-baked baguettes
2 garlic cloves
2 bay leaves
1 teaspoon marjoram
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon tarragon
1 teaspoon thyme
½ teaspoon basil
½ teaspoon oregano
½ teaspoon parsley
¼ teaspoon black pepper
6 tablespoons spicy brown mustard
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
4 frankfurters, preferably Hebrew NationalTM
4 slices Swiss cheese

PREPARATION

Preheat to temperature shown on baguette bag or 375 degrees. Cut baguettes in half along their width. Cut each half baguette again in half, this along its height. Do the same for the other baguette. You should now have 8 baguette slices.

Mince garlic cloves. Remove stem from bay leaves and chop them into little bits.

Combine in mixing bowl: garlic, bay leaves, marjoram, rosemary, tarragon, thyme, basil, oregano, parsley, pepper, garlic, mustard, and mayonnaise. Stir with fork until blended.

Spread mixture equally onto the 8 baguette slices. Put 4 frankfurters onto 4 baguette slices. Put slices on cooking tray and put in oven. Cook according to instructions on baguette-loaf bag or 8 minutes at 375 degrees. Put a half slice of Swiss cheese on each baguette slice. Put cooking tray back in oven. Cook for 2 more minutes. The cheese should be melted and the bread crust golden brown. (This paragraph inspected by editor no. 2.)

Remove baguette slices and assemble. Your guests will come running to the dinner table with cries of “Oh, la, la,” and “C’est magnifique.” If they do not, use your guillotine.

TIDBITS

1) One of the last Roman emperors was Marjorianus. It is unlikely that he ever ate hot dogs.

2) The Romans did conquer and possess Gaul, the location of modern-day France, for hundreds of years.

3) The first Gallic province the Romans took was cleverly called Provence.

4) This area is still called Provence.

5) Americans eat lots of hot dogs. We barbeque them.

6) The French eat a few hot dogs. They also wrote stories about Barbar The Elephant.

7) Romans ate no hot dogs. They were conquered by barbarians.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Fijian Bacon and Banana

Fijian Entree

FIJIAN BACON AND BANANA

INGREDIENTS

8 strips of bacon
4 bananas
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon parsley
8 bread slices

PREPARATION

Toast the bread. Lightly coat the toast with paprika and parsley. Peel the bananas. Cut them in half lengthways. Sprinkle pepper and salt on them.

Spray the fry pan with no-stick spray. Fry the bacon until it reaches the desired level of crispiness. Put the bacon on a towel to drain the fat. Fry the bananas for about four minutes on medium-to-high heat.

Put a bacon (BACON!) strip and banana half on each piece of toast. Serve hot.

TIDBITS

1) This dish is a favorite in Fiji where about one in five recipes has banana as an ingredient.

2) It’s more of an acquired taste back here in America. My children did not acquire it.

3) My wife and I honeymooned in Fiji. We had a fancy hut maybe fifty yards from the beach and a coral reef not ten yards from the shore.

4) Fiji suffered two coups after we left. We claim no responsibility.

5) Coconuts are expensive in America. They lay by the dozens along the road near our hut.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Five Layer Chicken Florentine

Italian Entree

FIVE LAYER CHICKEN FLORENTINE

INGREDIENTS

FIRST LAYER – BOTTOM SAUCE

1 10.75-ounce can of cream of celery
½ cup mayonnaise
¾ cup grated sharp cheddar cheese
1 tablespoon lemon juice
⅛ teaspoon salt (⅛ teaspoon more in FOURTH LAYER)
⅛ teaspoon pepper
⅛ teaspoon Mediterranean rice spice
2 tablespoons rice vinegar

SECOND LAYER – RICE

½ cup rice
1 cup water

THIRD LAYER – CHICKEN

2 chicken breasts
2 tablespoon vegetable oil

FOURTH LAYER – TOP SAUCE

1 10-ounce package creamed spinach
½ cup milk
¼ cup grated Swiss cheese
1 small onion
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
⅛ teaspoon thyme
¼ teaspoon coriander
¼ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
⅛ teaspoon salt

FIFTH LAYER – BREAD CRUMBS AND CHEESE

½ cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon butter, melted
¼ cup Parmesan cheese

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT

Large casserole dish
Medium casserole dish
Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

The five layers are from bottom to top:

First: bottom sauce
Second: rice
Third: chicken breast
Fourth: top sauce
Fifth: cheese and bread crumbs

FIRST LAYER – BOTTOM SAUCE

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Add celery soup, mayonnaise, Cheddar cheese, lemon juice, Mediterranean rice spice, ⅛ teaspoon salt, pepper, and rice vinegar to baking dish. Mix thoroughly with fork or whisk. Bake in large casserole dish for 25 minutes at 375 degrees. (You can save time by preparing the fourth layer and putting in the oven after you have put this layer in the oven.)

SECOND LAYER – RICE (Above bottom sauce)

Take 1 cup rice and cook according to instructions on package. Spread evenly over FIRST LAYER in large casserole dish when both are done.

THIRD LAYER – CHICKEN BREAST (Above rice)

While at the bottom sauce is baking and the rice is cooking, cut each chicken breast into 12 pieces. Add chicken and vegetable oil to non-stick frying pan. Sauté chicken on high heat for 10 minutes or until it starts to brown. Stir occasionally. Put chicken breasts on top of the SECOND LAYER of rice when all three layers are done. (Resist the temptation to drive to KFC.)

FOURTH LAYER – TOP SAUCE (Above chicken breast)

Dice onion. Add creamed spinach, milk, Swiss cheese, onion, Dijon mustard, thyme, coriander, poultry spice, and ⅛ teaspoon salt to medium casserole dish. Bake for 25 minutes at 375 degrees. Remove and set aside.

FIFTH LAYER – BREAD CRUMBS AND CHEESE (Above top sauce)

After you have taken the casserole dishes out of the oven, and have placed the first four layers in order, spread the bread crumbs and Parmesan cheese evenly over the FOURTH layer. Pour the melted butter evenly, as always, over everything. Put the five layers in the large casserole dish back in the oven.

Bake for 25 minutes at 375 degrees. The sauce layers should be set and the chicken cooked through.

Grab a cold mug of root beer. Sip it slowly. Savor the taste. Grab the frying pan with your other hand. Use the pan to threaten anyone who complains about the wait for this dish. Then eat it all yourself. It’s great.

TIDBITS

1) Spinach was cultivated 2,000 years ago in Iran. Now, Iran may very well be contemplating building a nuclear bomb for dubious purposes.

2) The ancient Romans and Greeks cultivated spinach as well and never built a nuclear device.

3) So maybe we shouldn’t worry about Iran.

4) After all Popeye The Sailorman always consumed cans of spinach in times of crisis and always fought for the honor and welfare of his beloved Olive Oyl.

5) California produces half of America’s spinach.

6) Did Popeye’s spinach come from California?

7) Did Popeye ever marry Olive Oyl? I’d like to think so, even if they had to elope to do it.

8) I had a Yogi The Bear lunch box in first grade. I don’t believe I ever had Five Layer Florentine Chicken put in it.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Kiev From Ukraine

Ukrainian Entree

CHICKEN KIEV

INGREDIENTS – SEASONED BUTTER

⅔ cup butter
½ teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon garlic salt (¼ teaspoon more later)
½ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
1 teaspoon parsley
1 teaspoon tarragon
6 chicken breasts

INGREDIENTS – SMALL MIXING BOWL

2 eggs
1½ tablespoons water

INGREDIENTS – SHALLOW BOWL

¼ teaspoon garlic salt
1 teaspoon dill weed
½ cup flour
1½ cups bread crumbs
2 cups vegetable oil

INGREDIENTS – GARNISH

1 lemon
1 tablespoon parsley

SPECIAL UTENSILS

Kitchen mallet
Kitchen scissors
toothpicks

PREPARATION OF SEASONED BUTTER

Leave butter out until it softens. 30 minutes should be sufficient. In small bowl, thoroughly mix softened butter, black pepper, garlic salt, and poultry spice. Spread mixture into 2-inch by 4-inch rectangle on aluminum foil. Freeze for about an hour or until firm.

PREPARATION OF CHICKEN BREAST

Make sure chicken breasts are thoroughly defrosted. You will be sorry when you have to flatten those chicken breasts if they are rock hard or even partially defrosted.

Cut chicken breasts into 6 pieces with your kitchen scissors (Snip! Snip! The scissors sound as if you’re giving someone a haircut.) or if you already have chicken-breast halves, cut them into 3 pieces.

Put chicken-breast sixths between two pieces of plastic wrap or wax paper. Pound away with your kitchen mallet until the entire piece of chicken is ⅛-inch thick. A thin piece of chicken is easy to roll up. It also cooks faster than a thick piece, so you’ll be less likely to dry out the outside of the chicken.

(Note: you are armed with two weapons of destruction, the mallet and the scissors. Don’t make this entree while feuding with your sweetheart.)

After butter hardens, remove it from the freezer and cut it into 12 equal-size pieces. Place one butter pat in the middle of each piece of chicken. Fold in edges of chicken-breast sixth and roll up to completely enclose seasoned butter pat. I suggest keeping the chicken rolls together with toothpicks.

Make seasoned flour by stirring garlic salt, dill weed, and flour together in another bowl. This bowl should be shallow or wide to make rolling chicken in it easier.

Make egg mixture by adding eggs and water to small mixing bowl. Mix well with fork. Put bread crumbs on small plate.

Smother rolled up chicken breasts in seasoned flour. Completely coat chicken rolls in egg mixture. Finally, cover chicken breasts all over with bread crumbs.

Heat oil in large skillet over medium heat. Put chicken rolls in skillet. Turn over after 4 to 5 minutes or after bottom of chicken is golden brown. Cook other side for same length of time or until outside is golden brown and the inside is completely white.

Remove oil by placing chicken rolls on paper towel. Transfer chicken rolls to large serving plate. Cut lemon into 6 slices and arrange slices around plate. Sprinkle parsley over chicken rolls.

(Let us hope your dinner guests appreciate how tasty this dish is and how much effort you put into making it. If not, menace them with your kitchen mallet and kitchen scissors until they do.)

TIDBITS

1) Ukraine, like other nations, is proud of its fast-food heritage. Some of its fast-food chains are: Domashnyaya Kukhnya, Pechiona Kartopolina, Potato House, Rostik’s, and McDonald’s.*

2) Kiev has a skiing hill located downtown. You take an elevator to get to the top.

3) Kiev was fifty times the size of London in the 1000s.

4) Kiev fell to the Mongols in 1240, who so thoroughly destroyed the town that the population fell to a few dozen. The Mongols meted out the same treatment to other cities they conquered.

5) In return, the Mongols have given us Mongolian beef. Not enough.

6) Think of how many cities the French emperor, and my great, great, great grandfather Napoleon 1st seized. Then ponder how many more entrees, appetizers, and desserts the French have given the world.*

7) * = I don’t know the status of Tidbits 1) and 2). As of press time, Putin has been savagely invading Ukraine for ten months.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

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Australian Meat Pie

Australian Entree

MEAT PIE

INGREDIENTS – FILLINGMeatPie-

2½ pounds chuck or round steak
2 onions
2 tablespoons olive oil
½ teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt (1/4 teaspoon more later)
¼ teaspoon thyme
4 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1½ cups beef stock
¼ cup water
3 tablespoons flour (2 cups more later)

INGREDIENTS – BOTTOM PASTRY

2 cups flour
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ cup butter (softened)
10 tablespoons water

INGREDIENTS – TOP PASTRY

1½ tablespoons milk
3-to-4 sheets puff pastry
1 egg
4 tablespoons ketchup

SPECIAL UTENSILS

Dutch oven
4 meat-pie pans with 5″ diameter or 3 pans with 6″ diameter

Makes 4 5″-meat-pies. Takes 2 hours 15 minutes.

PREPARATION – FILLING

Cut chuck into ½” cubes. Mince onions. Add onion and olive oil to Dutch oven. Sauté onion on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add meat, nutmeg, pepper, salt, thyme, Worcestershire sauce, and beef stock. Simmer on low heat for about 1 hour. Stir occasionally.

Combine ¼ cup water and 3 tablespoons flour in mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until you get a smooth, runny mix. Gradually add the flour/water mix into the Dutch oven. Stir with spoon until the filling thickens. Remove from heat and let cool.

PREPARATION – BOTTOM PASTRY

While filling is simmering, add 2 cups flour, ¼ teaspoon salt, and butter to a second mixing bowl. Blend ingredients with whisk. Add 10 tablespoons water. Remove dough and knead on surface dusted with flour. (Martian surfaces will work as well, but be sure to take along a space suit.)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Let dough sit for 20 minutes. Flatten dough with rolling pin. (A large can of soup will do. Plastic explosives are way too risky.)

PREPARATION – TOP PASTRY

Line pie pans with bottom pastry. Add filling to each pan. Moisten rims of pies with milk. (This helps tops to stick with the bottom pastry.) Place a sheet of puff pastry on top of each pie. Trim away the excess puff pastry. Press edges of puff pastry onto rims of bottom pastry with fork. Poke holes in bottom pastry with fork. Beat egg with whisk or fork. Glaze tops evenly and sparely with egg.

Bake pies at 400 degrees for 15 minutes or until golden brown. Spread ketchup over each pie. Enjoy a nice cooling refreshment. Press gang the least appreciative guest into cleaning up.

TIDBITS

1) Kangaroo is Australian Aborigine for, “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

2) Melbourne, Australia has the largest public tram system in the world.

3) Australia is three times bigger than Greenland. So it’s no surprise that Melbourne has a bigger tram system than Nuuk, Greenland.

5) Curly Howard of the Three Stooges said “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk” in many of his movie shorts.

6) The Denver Broncos quarterback often yelled out “Omaha” during plays all through the 2013 NFL season. Some people think he was promoting the city of Omaha, Nebraska.

7) Was Curly really trying to promote Nuuk, Greenland? That would be truly scary for Nuuk was called Godthaab until 1979 and Curly died in 1952.

8) Perhaps Curly had a time machine and visited modern Nuuk. We should all be grateful Curly did not use his time machine to achieve world domination.

9) If you had a time machine you could go back to the point when you had just cooked yourself a wonderful dinner and eat it. You would never have to cook again. You’d just keep going back to that moment and eat that delightful dish over and over again.

10) But then no one would ever need to buy food again. Millions of farmers would be out of business. They’d riot. Worldwide collapse would ensue. And Curly would say, “Nyahh-ahhh-ahhh!”

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Berbe Kafta Kebabs From Morocco

Moroccan Entree

BERBERE KAFTA KEBABS

INGREDIENTS

1 medium yellow onion
1 tablespoon Berbere spices (Or see recipe for BERBERE SPICE MIX)
½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon
½ tablespoon ground coriander
¼ teaspoon ground ginger
1 tablespoon parsley flakes
½ teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon sea salt
1½ pounds ground beef

SPECIAL UTENSILS

Electric skillet
Wooden skewers (about 8 inches long. Size matters.)
Spice grinder (if you are making your own Berbere spice mix.)

PREPARATION

Peel and dice onion. Put onion, Berbere spices, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, coriander, ginger, parsley, pepper, salt, and ground beef in mixing bowl. Indulge in gentle primal scream therapy as you mix everything together with your hands. Make meatballs about 1-inch across until mix is used up. Put meatballs in bowl and chill in refrigerator for at least one hour.

Cook meatballs on electric skillet at 350 degrees. Turn just often enough to ensure meatballs are no longer pink on the inside and starting to brown on the outside. Vigilance is a must. (Tasting isn’t a bad idea either. However, if you taste every meatball before your fiancé arrives, then maybe the relationship wasn’t meant to be.)

Let the meatballs cool down enough so they don’t burn your fingers. Gently place 2 or 3 meatballs on each skewer. (It is possible to pierce your hand or finger with the sharp edge of the skewer. These are wooden skewers, you say, how sharp can they be? Okay, I probably couldn’t terrify an intruder armed with a gun, but I could give him an owie he’d never forget.)

Tastes great on its own or serve with lemon wedges and Moroccan yogurt sauce. (See recipe for this.)

TIDBITS

1) In 711, Arab armies crossed over the Straits of Gibraltar and headed northward to the Frankish Kingdom bringing all sorts of Moroccan spices with them. It is hard to say exactly what spices, as most historians, especially military, are strangely mute on this point.

2) In 732, the Frankish leader defeated the Arabs at the battle of Tours ensuring the survival of French spices and cuisine.

3) Frankish and Arab armies marched back and forth in southern France until 915, making certain the fusion of French and Moroccan spices.

4) Culinary arts stagnated during centuries of peace between France and Morocco.

5) Fortunately, French power and imperialism came back in 1907 when Gallic armies occupied Casablanca. A new round of fighting and culinary exchange between the two great nations began.

6) Unfortunately for gourmands everywhere total peace broke out in 1956 with Moroccan independence.

7) For awhile, it seemed as if the tens of thousands of brave French and Moroccan warriors who died in the cause of culinary integration had fallen in vain.

8) But you can’t keep a good spicer down. Over the next few decades, Moroccans headed to France in search of jobs, bringing their spices with them. Now you can find good French and Moroccan restaurants all over the world. Life is good.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Blackened Turkey Dogs

Cajun Entree

BLACKENED TURKEY DOGS

INGREDIENTS

6 turkey hot dogs
6 hot dog buns
½ teaspoon paprika
⅛ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
¼ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon thyme
No-stick cooking spray

PREPARATION

Preheat skillet to 350 degrees. Mix paprika, salt, cayenne, poultry spice, cumin, and thyme on large plate. Coat all sides of the turkey dogs with spray.

Place the turkey dogs on plate and roll them until they are coated with spices. Place turkey dogs in skillet and cook for 8 to 12 minutes making a quarter turn every 1 to 2 minutes, or until spices blacken.

Toast buns. (Why do hot dogs and hot-dog buns come in different amounts? Why has no president done anything about it?) Put turkey dogs in buns. If you like Cajun cooking, you should need no condiments, such as ketchup. But as the French say, “Chaque à son gout.”

TIDBITS

1) I have never seen deliberately blackened hot dogs anywhere. This dish is a product of my feverish imagination. It’s good, though.

2) In 1755 and 1758, the British exiled French Canadians from Acadia. Many moved to Louisiana where they became known as Cajuns.

3) Cajun food is spicy. Canadian food is not. Nor is Eskimo cuisine. Eskimos do not have hot sauce.

4) I mostly grew up in Arcadia, California.

5) Cayenne is the capital of French Guiana. French Guiana is in South America. Why is this land not independent? Do the people love French cooking?

6) Cayenne is mostly grown in Mexico, Asia, Africa, New Mexico, and Louisiana. But apparently not much in a land that has a capital named Cayenne.

7) National Hot Dog Day is July 18.

8) Babe Ruth is believed to have once consumed twelve hot dogs and drunk eight sodas between games of a doubleheader.

9) Americans eat about 150 million hot dogs on the Fourth of July.

10) Humphrey Bogart was a big fan of hot dogs. Coincidentally, he won an Oscar for his performance in The African Queen.

11) Mustard is the favorite hot-dog topping among adult Americans. Kids, however, prefer ketchup.

12) Maybe this recipe will change that.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Beer Brats en una Cobija

Fusion Entree

BEER BRATS EN UNA COBIJA

INGREDIENTS

1 serrano pepper
1 jalapeno pepper
1 red bell pepper
½ medium onion
1 avocado
½ cup fresh cilantro

1 tablespoon peanut oil (1 tablespoon more later)
1 tablespoon vegetable oil (1 tablespoon more later)
½ tablespoon lime juice

4 beer bratwursts
1 tablespoon peanut oil
1 tablespoon vegetable oil

2 16 ounce packages of jumbo biscuit dough
½ cup Monterrey Jack cheese
No-stick spray

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. (350 degrees is normal for most dishes. We are throwing caution to the wind today.)

Remove seeds from serrano pepper, jalapeno pepper, and red bell pepper. Dice serrano pepper, jalapeno pepper, red bell pepper, onion, and avocado. Chop cilantro. Cut bratwursts into four pieces, one cut by length and another by width.

Cook peanut oil and vegetable oil in frying pan at medium heat. Add serrano pepper, jalapeno pepper, bell pepper, onion, avocado, and cilantro. Continue cooking for about 10 minutes or until vegetables soften. Stir periodically. Remove sautéed vegetables.

Cook peanut oil and vegetable oil in frying pan at medium heat. Add bratwurst. Cook for about 5 minutes at medium heat or until bratwurst begins to brown. Make sure to turn over bratwurst so that all sides cook evenly.

Flatten individual pieces of biscuit dough to get a larger surface. Put bratwurst piece in center, bottom part of biscuit dough. Put about a tablespoon sautéed vegetable on top of the bratwurst. Sprinkle biscuit dough with Monterey Jack cheese. Roll up dough from the bottom until the tops and the bottoms meet.

Spray biscuit sheets with no-stick spray. Bake at 375 degrees for 10 to 16 minutes or until the biscuits are golden brown on the outside and no longer doughy on the inside. Note times needed to bake biscuits can vary wildly given the oven’s size, age, and nearness of the biscuits to a heating coil. So it’s best to keep a careful eye on the biscuits closest to a heating coil.

TIDBITS

1) This is a classic German-Mexican-American, breakfast-dinner cuisine.

2) This was almost called Fiery Brats In a Blanket.

3) There are 17.88 milligrams of magnesium in 100 grams of bratwurst. I don’t see how this fact could help you.

4) Madison, Wisconsin, holds the annual “World’s Biggest Brat Fest.”

5) I went to graduate school at the University of Wisconsin at Madison in the early 80s. I don’t ever recall seeing the festival. I must have been studying.

6) About sixty years earlier, Hitler tried to overthrow the German government by taking over a beer hall.

7) German beer halls serve beer and bratwursts.

8) German bratwursts are excellent.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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CHDCPI Says American Inflation is Zero Percent

The true inflation gauge

Economists squabble continually over how to measure inflation. Some argue that the Federal Reserve Bank uses inflation indexes that measure inflation as it had been months ago. This is like trying to drive by looking only at the traffic in the rear view mirror. Another bone of contention is what durable goods, foods, etc. to include in an accurate inflation index.

Ideally, we want to include items that everyone in the entire country uses. As exhaustive research shows there is only one such item.

The Costco(tm) hot dog combo.

It’s yummy and everyone buys it. So I am including it, and it alone, in my consumer price index (CPI.) I call my new CPI, the Costco Hot Dog Combo Price Index or CHDCPI.

Astoundingly enough, the CHDCPI demonstrates conclusively that America’s inflation rate has been ZERO percent for the entire year. Wow. Moreover American inflation has been ZERO PERCENT FOR EVERY YEAR since 1985. i

And if for some reason, your household budget stretches less and less every year, then you need to buy only Costco Hot Dog Combos every year. Make the switch and you’ll notice a big difference.

There.

I foresee a Nobel Prize in Economics in my very near future.

And now a sexy table of supporting evidence.

——–Annual               Total
——–Inflation             Inflation
Price   each year            Since 1985
1985   $1.50     0.00%     0.00%
1986   $1.50     0.00%     0.00%
1987   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1988   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1989   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1990   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1991   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1992   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1993   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1994   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1995   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1996   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1997   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1998   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1999   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2000   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2001   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2002   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2003   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2004   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2005   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2006   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2007   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2008   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2009   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2010   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2011   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2012   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2013   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2014   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2015   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2016   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2017   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2018   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2019   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2020   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2021   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2022   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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