Posts Tagged With: entree

You Need to See Eggs in a Sauna

All people need to relax. So do chicken eggs. They have their whole lives in front of them. What will it be like? They don’t know. Scary. They need to spend their last pre-coming out moments letting their hair down. So where do they go? To a sauna! The picture below show eggs chilling in a South Korean* sauna. Proof you cannot deny.

You Need to See #22

 

* = It might true that North Korean eggs also frequent saunas. I tend to doubt it. North Korea is under a brutal, repressive dictatorship.

P.S. It’s not yet clear why the groups of three thing is so prevalent among sauna-going eggs.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Cambodian Lap Khmer (Beef Salad)

Cambodian Entree

LAP KHMER
(Beef Salad)

INGREDIENTS

6 ounces fresh beef sirloin or tenderloin steak cut thinly as possible
1½ tablespoons fresh basil*
1½ tablespoons fresh mint*
¼ pound Chinese long beans (also called yardlong beans)
1 red chile pepper
½ small red onion
1½ tablespoons fish sauce, Hoisin sauce, or soy sauce
1¼ teaspoons sugar
¼ pound bean sprouts
2½ tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 lemongrass stick or 1 tablespoon lemongrass paste
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
¾ teaspoon prahok, shrimp paste**, fish sauce, or even omit
2 tablespoons water

* = or use 1 tablespoon each of dried basil and dried mint. Again, if your guest gives you guff about this, turn your sonic obliterator on her. It’s okay, you are the master of your kitchen. (See Courgette v Aubergine, 1973.)

** = prahok can be found in Asian supermarkets on online. Shrimp paste is the closest substitute to prahok. It too can be found in Asian supermarkets or online. However, foodies will tell you shrimp paste really is only a distant substitute. Indeed, an entirely reasonable approach to finding prahok is to not use it at all. If some oaf complains about the missing prahok, zap him with your sonic obliterator. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your kitchen.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

large freezer bag
deli slicer or kitchen mallet
sonic obliterator

Serves 2. Takes 2 hours.

PREPARATION – BEEF SIRLOIN

Put sirloin in freezer bag. Push out all air from freezer bag and close tightly. Freeze meat for 1 hour. (Meat will firm faster in the freezer if you put the bag on a metal tray before putting it in the freezer. Periodically check to see if sirloin has firmed. The sirloin is just firm enough if a knife goes the meat smoothly.

If cutting with knife, make sirloin strips by cutting against the grain as thinly as possible. If cutting by deli slicer or mandoline, set the cutting thickness to ⅛. (Be sure to use the safety features on these kitchen tools. (If you can’t slice the sirloin thinner than ⅛”, flatten the slices with a kitchen mallet until they are ⅛” thick. )

PREPARATION – REST

While sirloin firms in freezer, dice basil, mint, Chinese long beans, red chile peppers, and red onion. Add basil, mint, Chinese long bean, red chile pepper, red onion, fish sauce, sugar, and bean sprouts to 1st mixing bowl. Toss with fork until well blended.

Cut beef slices into strips 1″ wide and 2″ long. Add beef strips to 2nd mixing bowl. Pour lime juice over beef. (The citric acid in the lime juice will “cook” the sirloin in the same way as ceviche does for fish.) Cover and set aside for 15 minutes.

While sirloin marinates, remove outer, white layers of lemongrass. Mince remaining green part of lemongrass (Skip this bit, if you’re using lemongrass paste.). Add vegetable oil to pan. Heat oil using medium-high heat until a bit of garlic will dance in the oil. Carefully add garlic and lemongrass to hot oil. (Add sirloin here if you want it sautéed.) Sauté on medium-high heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Add prahok and water. Reduce heat to medium and sauté for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Remove from heat.

Add all ingredients to large salad bowl. Toss with forks until well blended.

TIDBITS

1) Lap Khmer is a Cambodian dish. Cambodian was, as of press time, the most popular cuisine in Cambodia. However, the cuisines of: Paraguay, Austria, Mali, El Salvador, and Luxembourg remain quite underappreciated.

2) Indeed, Greenland, with a cuisine that emphasizes: whale, musk ox ptarmigan, lump fish roe, seal meat, and wild cloudberries quite shunned by native Cambodians. Sad to say, you’ll never hear the following conversation in Cambodia.

Acharya: Hey Thyda, where would you like to eat tonight?
Thyda: I dunno. Where would you like to eat?
Acharya: I dunno, what do you want?
Thyda: I dunno, how about Greenlandic?
Acharya: Great,. I was thinking about Greenlandic cuisine this very morning. But which restaurant?
Thyda: How about The Fragrant Elephant? My friend Jorani says their food’s quite tasty. And it’s just two streets away from us.
Acharya: But won’t it be crowded?
Thyda: Yes, it will. We’ll have to make reservations right now.
Acharya: And don’t forget, let’s save room for fresh wild Arctic berry desserts. You know how much I love them.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lemon Sherbet From Azerbaijan

Azerbaijani Dessert

LEMON SHERBET

INGREDIENTS

½ teaspoon saffron threads
½ cup water
2 lemons*
5½ cups water
¼ teaspoon coriander seeds
¼ cup sugar
crushed ice

* = There are only a few ingredients in this recipe, so their freshness is important. However, if you don’t have a juicer or a zester, substitute 2 tablespoon lemon zest and ¼ cup lemon juice for the 2 lemons.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

zester*
juicer*

Makes 6½ cups, enough for a party. Takes 4 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add saffron threads and ½ cup water to small bowl. Cover and let aside. Remove zest from lemons with zester. Keep the main part of the lemons. Boil 5½ cups water. Add boiled water, lemon zest , and coriander seeds to large mixing bowl. Let steep for 4 hours.

Strain the lemon zest/water into jug or other container. Extract the lemon juice with juicer. Add lemon juice and sugar to pitcher. Mix with long spoon until sugar dissolves. Strain saffron infusion. Add saffron infusion. Stir until well blended. Keep this sherbet liquid in refrigerator until completely cooled. Fill short glass with crushed ice. Pour sherbet liquid over crushed ice. Be happy. You now have a nice, cooling glass of lemon sherbet.

TIDBITS

1) If you were to attach the end of a screwdriver to the bottom of your glass of Lemon Sherbet, you could screw your glass into the dining room table. This would accomplish three useful things. First, it would be impossible to knock over your Sherbet, or any other drink for that matter, with your elbow. Second, even an severe earthquake couldn’t spill your cooling beverage spill. Of course, that would be bad if you were depending solely on your screwed-down beverage for your early warning earthquake detection system. Third, you could ask your guests to lift your screwed-down drink. Of course they won’t be able to do so. You then unscrew and lift it easily. Your guests will think you’re Thor. Wouldn’t that be cool?

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Mexican Stuffed Bell Peppers

Mexican Entree

STUFFED BELL PEPPERS

INGREDIENTS

4 bell peppers
¼ cup fresh cilantro (1 tablespoon more later)
1 16-ounce can refried beans
¼ cup cooked rice
¼ cup sour cream
½ tablespoon cumin
1 tablespoon lime juice
½ teaspoon pepper
⅔ cup Mexican blend or Cheddar cheese
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro

Serves 4. Takes 55 minutes.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut tops off bell peppers. Seed bell peppers. Dice ¼ cup cilantro. Add refried beans, cooked rice, sour cream, ¼ cup diced cilantro, cumin, lime juice, and pepper to mixing bowl. Mix with fork or spatula until bean mix becomes creamy.

Use spoon to stuff bell peppers with creamy beans. Add stuffed bell peppers to baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until bell peppers start to soften. Remove bell peppers and sprinkle cheese on refried beans. Bake again for 3 minutes or until cheese melts.

Dice 1 tablespoon fresh cilantro. Garnish bell peppers with cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) The thrusters on NASA’s rockets look remarkably like Mexican Stuffed Bell Peppers as the pictures to the right show.
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2) This is no accident as NASA’s scientists love Mexican food. They’ve always have.

3) This is why NASA incorporates so much that is Mexican food into their rockets, space stations, and excursion modules.

4) Using this dish as the design for rocket thrusters was such a brilliant idea that when one scientist looked down on his Mexican Stuffed Pepper, he said, “Let’s use the shape of this bell pepper for our thrusters.” His luncheon pals threw up their hands in agreement. “Yea, why not.” And so, the quest to conquer space began.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

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Are There Culinary Force Fields?

I don’t recall why I tried to find out about http://www.CulinaryForceFields.com or even why I thought the company Culinary Force Fields existed. At any rate, Google seems think Culinary Forces Fields is a thing. See below.

This is exciting! As far as study of physics holds, the known forces in the universe are: frictional, tension, normal, air resistance, applied, spring, gravitational, electric, and magnetic. Culinary force is not listed. I have discovered a new force. Wow. I look forward to receiving the Nobel Prize for Physics. You are welcome to attend the award ceremony. There will be drinks, snacks, and cookies afterward. I look forward to seeing you.

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Goofy Man Talks About Maturity

Goofy Man #2

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Korean Grilled Steak

Korean Entree

GRILLED STEAK

INGREDIENTS

1½ pounds sirloin
2 teaspoons sesame oil (2 tablespoons more later)
3 garlic cloves
1½” ginger root
3 stalks green onions
1 tablespoon brown sugar
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons sesame oil (1 tablespoon per batch)
2 teaspoons toasted sesame seeds or sesame seeds

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric griddle (Should you wish to use an outdoor or tabletop grill, please do so before slicing.)

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Tightly wrap sirloin in plastic. Put in freezer for 40 minutes or until the meat is just firm enough to be thinly sliced. Slice sirloin into strips as thin as you can.

While sirloin firms, mince garlic. Grate ginger root. Dice green onions. Add garlic, ginger root, green onions, brown sugar, rice vinegar, 2 teaspoons sesame oil, and sesame seeds to mixing bowl. Mix with spoon until well blended.

Spread 1 tablespoon sesame oil over griddle. Set heat to medium high. Sear sirloin strips for 2 minutes or until the bottom side browns nicely. Turn strips over and sear again for 2 minutes or until the new bottom side also browns nicely. Serve with sauce on the side. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) John Keats belonged to the Second Generation of Romantic Poets. Keats’ poems were really good reads. Indeed, his poems often made number one on The Top Ten British Poems. Indeed, who can forget his evocative “Ode to a Nightingale?” No one who’s read it will ever forget it. Of course, those who’ve never read that poem will never forget it either. So no one, then.

2) Keats remains beloved by chefs everywhere for his brilliant culinary poetry. Ask any chef about their favorite poems. They will invariably reply, “Ode to a Three Ingredient Meal” and “The Rigors of the Twelve Hour Shift.” Keats, of course, is also famous for his memoir, Two Years Before the Cattle Herd. It’s a rip-roaring yarn. During that drive, Keats dazzled his fellow drovers by cooking up a slab of beef. An anagram-prone drover named the new dish “Steak” in honor of Keats. There.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Deep Thought Man Ponders Unicorns

 

 

 

Deep Thought Man #8

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook,  Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on  amazon.com.

Categories: Deep Thinker, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lángos

Hungarian Entree

LÁNGOS
(Fried Bread)

INGREDIENTS

2¼ teaspoons yeast
1 cup water, lukewarm
3½ cups flour (2 tablespoons more later)
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoons flour
4 cups vegetable oil
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1⅓ cups shredded cheese (Gouda, Edam, or your choice)
1 cup sour cream

Serves 8. Takes 2 hours 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add yeast and lukewarm water to mixing bowl. Mix with fork until yeast dissolves. Add 3½ cups flour, salt, and sugar. Mix with spoon until well blended. Knead mixture until it becomes a dough ball and is no longer sticky. Cover and let rise 50 minutes or until it doubles in size.

Dust flat surface with 2 tablespoons flour. Divide raised dough balls into 8 mini dough balls. Add mini dough ball to flat surface. Use hands to press mini dough balls into 6″ wide dough circles.

Add vegetable oil to large pot. Heat oil using medium heat. It is hot enough if a tiny bit of dough in the oil starts to dance. Carefully place a dough circle in the hot oil. Cook for 3 minutes until bottom side turns golden brown. Flip dough circle over. Cook for 2 minutes or until new bottom side turns golden brown. This is your fried bread. Reduce heat a bit if sides turn golden brown in fewer than 2 minutes. Raise heat a bit if it turns brown in more than 3 minutes.

Repeat for remaining 7 dough circles. You might need to reduce to heat to low with succeeding breads to prevent to dough circles browning before the inside is still doughy. Place fried breads on plate covered with paper towels. Pat dry. Spread sour cream equally over the 8 fried breads. Sprinkle mince garlic over cream cheese. Sprinkle shredded cheese over garlic.

TIDBITS

1) Everybody loves Lángos. Including soldiers of invading armies. Defending armies use this to their advantage. Whenever the wind blows toward the attackers, the defender cook thousands of fried breads. The attackers smell the alluring aroma and stampede the Lángos frying in oil. Just as the advancing soldiers reach the pots, the boiling oil bubbles over and scalds their hands. No one likes an oil owie. The attackers retreat. The war ends. Peace breaks out. All is good again.

 

Paul R. De Lancey, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

South African Gatsby Sandwich

South African Entree

GATSBY SANDWICH

INGREDIENTS

2 cups frozen French fries
1 baguette, crusty roll, or hoagie
1 tablespoon olive oil or vegetable
5 baloney slices
3 tablespoons ketchup
½ teaspoon piri piri sauce or hot sauce
½ cup shredded iceberg lettuce

Serves 4. Takes 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook fries according to instructions on package. Cut baguette open lengthwise, but not all the way through. Put opened baguette in oven 3 minutes before fries are to be done. Take fries and baguette out when fries are done.

While fries bake, add olive oil to large pan. Heat oil using medium heat. Oil is ready when a bit of baloney starts to dance in the oil. Carefully add baloney spices to pan; oil is hot. Make sure baloney slice don’t touch each other. Sauté baloney for 2 minutes or until bottom of baloney slices brown. Flip slices and sauté for another 2 minutes or until the new bottom side browns.

Arrange baloney slices on bottom half of baguette. Then sprinkle fries over baloney. Drizzle ketchup and piri sauce over fries. Sprinkle lettuce over ketchup and piri piri sauce. Close sandwich. Cut sandwich into 4 equal pieces.

TIDBITS

1) The Gatsby Sandwich looks a lot like a ping-pong paddle. This is not an accident. The sport of ping pong consumed the famed author, F. Scott Fitzgerald, all his life.

2) Indeed, the great writer littered his earlier works with ping pong imagery. His most renowned work in the niche ping pong, aimless rich folk genre surely must be Proud Priscilla Pernod and Paul’s Ping Paddle. Literary critics still debate his pregnant metaphors and why he ever wrote the novel.

3) Anyway, disaster struck in 1924 when Fitzrgerald was thrown out of the Paris Ping Pong tournament for using a corked paddle. Depressed permanently by this affair, F. Scott turned to writing once more and penned his magnum opus, The Great Gatsby, which has tortured high-school students ever since.

4) The son of one of these destroyed scholars moved to South Africa and invented the Gatsby Sandwich. Some see the sandwich as an homage either to The Great Gatsby or to ping pong. While others hold that the chef only had French fries, a baguette, and baloney on hand. Who can say?

 

Paul R. De Lancey

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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