Posts Tagged With: entree

Serbian Pljeskavica

Posted on April 15, 2024 by pauldelancey
Serbian Entree
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SERBIAN PLJESKAVICA

(Ser­bian Burger)

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INGREDIENTS
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1 garlic clove
1 large onion (1 small one later)
2 tablespoons olive oil or vegetable oil
1 pound ground beef
¾ pound ground pork
1 teaspoon Spanish paprika or paprika
no-stick spray
8 pita loaves*
some kajmak** (optional)
some ajvar*** (optional)
1 green onion
1 small onion
your favorite condiments.****
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* = Lepinje buns are more authentic, but also very hard to find.
** = Can be found online. Substitutes are crème fraîche, crema Mexicana, sour cream, or clotted cream
*** = Can be found online. Substitutes are baba ganoush, chili oil, or relish made with bell peppers and eggplant
**** = Kajmak, ajvar, onion are the most authentic condiments for a Serbian. However, red onions, cabbage, pickles, cucumbers, and lettuce are used sometimes.
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Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Mince garlic clove and 1 large onion. Add garlic, onion and olive oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Add minced garlic and onion, ground beef, ground pork, and Spanish paprika to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Divide meat into 4 portions. Flatten meat portions until they are 6″ wide patties. Cover and let cool in refrigerator for 45 minutes.
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Spray pan with no-stick pray. Add patty to pan. Fry each patty at medium heat for 4 minutes. Flip patty and cook on low-medium for 4 minutes. Repeat for each patty . Put patty on pita loaf. Spread kajmak and ajvar as desired on patty. Thinly slice green onion and small onion. Place ¼ of the onion slices on kajmak and ajvar. Sprinkle with ¼ of the green onion. Top with 2nd pita loaf. Repeat 3 more times.
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TIDBITS
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1) Pljeskavica is pronounced just like it looks.
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2) Just like hot dog is pronounced, “hot dog.”
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3) Of course, pljeskavica is an anagram for “java pickles.”
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4) If you haven’t heard of java pickles, it’s because they’re not wildly popular.
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5) Or even popular at all.
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6) To make java pickles, add coffee grounds to the coffee filter.
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7) Then instead of water, pour pickle brine into the coffee maker’s reservoir.
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8) Turn on your coffee maker and wait.
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9) Take your java pickles to your next potluck.
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10) You won’t be asked to bring anything ever again.
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11) The moral of all this, is that there are some anagrams people aren’t meant to create.
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12) Better to search for lepinje buns. This quest would keep you off the streets where you’d only foment revolution.
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13) And why can’t we have lepinje delivered to our home?
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14) Of course, you could try the superbly efficient AmazonTM to send some to your home.
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15) What’s this? Amazon has no lepinje!
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16) Why can’t we have a lepinje truck cruising the neighborhood everyday? The truck would play pleasant Serbian folk tunes, so we’d know the lepinje man was on his way.
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17) And while we’re at it, why not have the truck carry bread, carry bread from all over the world?
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18) And herbs from all over the world? One herb can only be found in desolate areas of northwestern China and rarely at that. And let me tell you, the Chinese police and military frown on such unsupervised activities. “But Colonel, I was only looking for a rare herb,” you’d say. The official’s reply would surely be, “Like, I’ve never heard that one before.” And you’d go to a Chinese prison.
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19) Since incarceration is bad, we’ll have to hold out for a local bread and herb truck.
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20) And add spices and produce. I can’t tell you how many times I didn’t have the right bread, herb,  spice, or produce. “You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one,” John Lennon. Let’s make that truck so. Let’s turn our street into a culinary garden of Eden.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, international, things that make me happy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cheese Lasagna

Posted on March 29, 2024 by pauldelancey

Italian Entree

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CHEESE LASAGNA

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INGREDIENTS – PASTA
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3 cups flour*
2 eggs
1 egg yolk
½ cup water or more
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* = More might be needed for dusting, texture.
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INGREDIENTS – CHEESE
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3 garlic cloves
1 white onion
2½ cups shredded mozzarella cheese
1¼ cups shredded Parmesan cheese (2 tablespoons more later)
2¼ cups ricotta cheese
⅓ cup red wine
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 26-ounce jar spaghetti sauce
1 15-ounce can diced tomatoes
1 teaspoon basil
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon thyme
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INGREDIENTS – ASSEMBLY
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2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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9-inch x 13-inch baking dish
no-stick pastry mat
rolling pin
hand crank pasta machine
cooking scissors (If your baking dish is 8-inches x 8-inches, for example)
no-stick spray
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Serves 12. Takes 3 hours 10 minutes.
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PREPARATION – DOUGH
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Combine 3 cups flour, eggs, egg yolk, and water into large mixing bowl. Knead with hands for 15 minutes. Make a ball of the mixture. It should be only slightly sticky and should just be able to come off your hand. If some of the ball sticks to your hand, then add a bit more flour, mix again, and try the new flour. If the flour ball is powdery, it is too dry. Add a bit more water, mix again, and try the consistency of the next ball. There may be a number of these iterations but it must be done. Divide dough ball into 3 equal mini-dough balls. Wrap mini-dough balls with plastic wrap and let sit in refrigerator for 1 hour.
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PREPARATION – CHEESE
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Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mince garlic cloves and onion. Add mozzarella, Parmesan, and ricotta cheeses to medium mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended
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Add onion, garlic, and olive oil. to frying pan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Add red wine, spaghetti sauce, diced tomatoes, basil, bay leaf, Italian seasoning, oregano, pepper, salt, and thyme. Cook on medium heat for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally.
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PREPARATION – PASTA
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This preparation needs to be done 3 times. Dust no-stick pastry mat with flour. Remove 1 dough ball from refrigerator. Keep remaining dough balls in fridge until needed. Put this dough ball on pastry mat. Dust rolling pin. Roll out dough into oval shape 5½” wide and ¼” thick. (Anything thicker inhibits dough from going through hand-crank pasta machine.)
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Use pasta machine’s thickest setting. (#1 on mine.) Hold dough vertically and straight as possible over pasta machine’s roller. Turn crank slowly to feed dough oval through roller. Fold resulting dough sheet in half. Cut about ¼” off each side to make it rectangular and thus easier to feed into roller. (This also makes for uniform dough sheets.) Run this folded sheet through roller.
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Dust dough sheet. Set pasta’s setting the next narrower setting. (#2 on mine.) Again, hold dough sheet vertically and straight as possible over pasta machine’s roller. Repeat process, selecting a narrower setting each time, until final pasta sheet is about 1/16″ thick. Repeat entire pasta-sheet preparation until all dough is used. Trim pasta sheets to be 13″ * 4½”. The cutoff pieces of dough can be used to make another sheet.
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PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY
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Grate 2 teaspoons Parmesan. Use no-stick spray on baking dish. Put a layer of lasagna, 2 side-by-side noodles on the dish. If the noodles happen to be longer than your baking dish, snip off the excess length with your scissors. In this recipe, 6 noodles will make one lasagna dish with 2 layers of meat sauce. Reserve about ½ cup meat sauce. Divide remaining meat sauce and cheese equally between layers.
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Cover this 1st layer of noodles with a layer of meat sauce and a layer of cheese. Add a 2nd
layer of noodles, meat sauce, and cheese. Add a 3rd layer of noodles. Spoon just a little meat sauce atop the top layer along with 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese. Put glass lid or aluminum foil on top of baking dish. Cook lasagna in covered baking dish in oven at 375 degrees for 45 minutes. Cook uncovered for an additional 15 minutes or until bubbly. Remove and let sit for 5 minutes more.
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TIDBITS
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1) Lucy Olduvai of Olduvai Gorge was the world’s first human. Her parents were almost human. And oh my gosh, her brother Ogg, older than her by two years, was oh so close to be human. But with Lucy, they had finally got birthing a human right.
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2) But, sad to say, Little Lucy was a brat. She taunted her sibling mercilessly. “You’re subhuman,”  The sensitive Ogg ran crying to Mama Olduvai. Mama Olduvai got cross with Little Lucy. “Go play with that herd of mammoth cattle until you’re ready to apologize to your brother.”
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3) Oh, tidbit 3) proves that the nearly humans and first humans had the power of speech and in fact, could speak English. Well done, you.
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4) Anyway, proud Little Lucy wasn’t ready to apologize. So, she spent a lot of time poking the cattle. Then she started pulling. Fortunately for the ascent of humanity, she didn’t start with a bull. She began with a cow and got milk. “Wow, this tastes great! I call it milk.”
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5) Then she spotted a field of wheat. The equivalent of a light bulb turned on her first-human brain. “I’ll bet if I can get the cattle to stampede over the wheat field, they’ll trample and crush the wheat into flour.*”
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6) * = First Human speech was much complex than was first suspected, constructing complicated sentences with commas and everything.
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7) So, Little Lucy, ran back to her family as fast as her first-human legs would carry her. “Mama, Mama, I’ve discovered milk and wheat. We can evolve.”
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8) Mama Ogg scowled. “Evolution can wait. Are you ready to apologize to Ogg?”
“I am. Sorry Ogg.”
“It’s okay,” said Ogg, “Do you think we could make lasagna? I’ve had visions of it in my sleep?”
“Well,” said Little Lucy, “we need culture to make cheese.”
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9) So, the Olduvai Gorgers invented cave painting and five-act plays. But this was the wrong culture for making cheese out of milk. The next day, however, they discovered the right culture.
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10) The Gorgers, being hunter-gathers, par excellence, gathered eggs, garlic, cloves, onions, grapes, olives, tomatoes, basil, bay leaves, peppercorns, thyme, and salt. With their almost-human synapses firing something fierce, they eventually uncovered the secret of making tasty cheese lasagna. Life was truly good for the Gorgers.
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11) Until the mammoth-cattle herd migrated out of Africa. Oh no! No herd, no milk. No milk, no lasagna. “What’s the point of evolving?” said Papa Ogg, “if we can’t dine on lasagna?”
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12) “Let’s follow the mammoth cattle,” said Little Lucy. “Let’s follow the most important ingredient in lasagna.” so they did. And this is how humanity spread over the entire planet. Yay.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pork Medallions

Posted on March 6, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Entree

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PORK MEDALLIONS

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INGREDIENTS
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1½ pounds pork tenderloin
¼ teaspoon oregano
½ teaspoon sweet paprika or paprika
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon rosemary
1 garlic clove
1 small onion
1½ tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon butter
⅔ cup chicken broth
2 tablespoons parsley
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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non-stick skillet or cast-iron frying pan
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Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Cut pork tenderloin into 12 equal slices or medallions. Pat medallions dry with paper towels. Add oregano, sweet paprika, pepper, and rosemary to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Rub onto medallions. Dice garlic and onion.
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Add olive oil and 6 medallions to skillet. Sauté each medallion for 3 minutes at medium-high heat or until golden brown. Remove medallions and set aside. Repeat for 2nd batch of medallions, although cooking times might decrease. Remove these medallions and set aside.
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Keep heat at medium high. Add butter to skillet. Whisk butter and use spoon to remove brown bits. Add garlic and onion. Sauté for 1 minute. Stir frequently. Add broth, stirring gently. Bring to boil. Boil for 1 minute or until sauce thickens. Spoon the juice in the pan over the medallions. Garnish with parsley.
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TIDBITS
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1) The humble aardvark is a mammal that burrows at night. It hails from Africa and is the only living species of the order Tublidentata. I’ll bet you didn’t know that last bit.
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2) On the other hand, a medallion is a large medal or something resembling a large medal such as a wall panel. It can even be some dish that resembles a small medal, such as a pork medallions. Pork medallions can be eaten. Metal medallions cannot. Score one for pork medallions. Aardvarks don’t eat pork medallions. They eat ants. They burrow at night and we have come full circle.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fajita Bowls

Posted on February 25, 2024 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

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FAJITA BOWLS

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INGREDIENTS
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4 8″ flour tortillas
non-stick spray
½ teaspoon red chili powder
¾ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon coriander
¾ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice or chicken seasoning
1½ pounds chicken breasts
2 garlic cloves
1 small onion
½ green bell pepper
1 orange bell pepper
½ red bell pepper
4½ tablespoons vegetable oil (3 times at 1½ tablespoons)
1½ tablespoons lime juice (3 times at 1½ tablespoons)
¼ teaspoon TabascoTM sauce or a Mexican hot sauce
1½ cups lettuce
½ cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses
salsa (optional)
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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4 nonstick tortilla salad bowl molds (nonstick and oven safe)
mandoline (optional)
lazy Susan, about 24 inches across, if you can find one.
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Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.
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PREPARATION – FAJITA SHELLS
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Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray both sides of tortilla with non-stick spray. Gently push flour tortilla down into tortilla mold. Do this for every tortilla mold. Put tortilla molds in oven. Bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes or until tortilla molds brown around the edges and become crispy.
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PREPARATION – FIXINGS
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While tortilla bowls bake, make spice mix by whisking together in small bowl: chili powder, cumin, coriander, poultry spice, and Tabasco sauce. This is the spice mix. Cut chicken into strips ½” wide and 2″ long. Add ⅓ of spice mix to chicken. Mix until chicken is coated with spice.
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Mince garlic cloves. Use mandoline to slice the onion into rings. Cut rings into fourths. Combine ⅓ of spice mix with garlic and onion. Use mandoline to slice all the bell peppers into rings. Cut bell-pepper rings into fourths. Combine ⅓ of spice mix with bell peppers.
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Add garlic, onion , 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, ½ and tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until bell pepper softens. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan. Add garlic, onion, 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan.
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Add bell pepper, 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, and ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until bell pepper softens. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan. Add garlic, onion, 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until bell pepper softens. Stir frequently. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan.
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Add chicken strips,  tablespoons vegetable oil, and ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until cooked through. Stir frequently. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan.
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Shred lettuce. Put lettuce and cheese in bowls on lazy Susan. Fill tortilla bowl with chicken, onion/garlic, bell pepper, lettuce, and cheese. Arriba.
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TIDBITS
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1) It is doubtful there ever was a real lazy Susan.
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2) To clear the good name of Susan, here is a list of famous Susan singers: Susan Boyle, Susan McFadden, and Suzi Quatro–Okay a variation on Susan, but I listened to her in college, so there.
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3) Famous Susan actresses: Susan St. James, Susan Hampshire–I  watched her in a Masterpiece Theater series during college; she rocked, Ms. Hampshire–Susan Dey, Susan Lucci, Susan Oliver, Susan Sarandon–star of the cult classic Rocky Horror Picture Show–and Susan Hayward
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4) Famous Susan authors: Susan Cheever, Susan Isaacs, Susan Sontag–I have a book of hers sitting on my bookshelf–and Susan Fromberg Schaeffer.
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5) Famous U.S. senator: Susan Collins.
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6) Famous social reformer and women’s right activist: Susan B. Anthony
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7) Famous interdisciplinary structural biologist: Susan S. Taylor
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8) Famous dog of Queen Elizabeth II: Susan.
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9) Famous Susan mass murderers: None.
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10) Famous Susan dictators: None.
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11) See? Susans are brilliant and nice. I can vouch for the niceness of every Susan I’ve met.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

BBQ Meatloaf

Posted on February 15, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Entree

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BBQ MEATLOAF

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INGREDIENTS
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3 garlic cloves
1 small onion
½ cup barbecue sauce (¼ cup more later)
2 pounds ground beef, ground pork, or combination
½ cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard or yellow mustard
2 eggs
½ teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon pepper
½ tablespoon salt
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
no-stick spray
¼ cup barbecue sauce
2 tablespoons fresh parsley
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Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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9″ * 5″ loaf pan
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mince garlic cloves and onion. Add all ingredients save no-stick spray, ¼ cup barbecue sauce and parsley to large mixing bowl. Mix well with hands.
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Spray loaf pan with no stick spray. Add beef mix to loaf pan. Smooth with spatula. Bake for 45 minutes at 350 degrees. Remove from oven. Top with ¼ cup barbecu sauce. Smooth evenly with brush. Bake again for 15 minutes at 350 degrees. Dice parsley. Garnish with parsley.
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TIDBITS
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1) BBQ is short for barbecue. NRC is the abbreviation for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. Folks at the NRC love BBQ as who would not? When one of their employees says, “I’m going to nuke the leftover meatloaf, does she mean she’s going to reheat in the microwave or should we be heafing to the fallout shelters?
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2) This BBQ Meatloaf recipe uses barbecue sauce.
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3) This reminds me of joke they might tell at the NRC.
Q: Why don’t they eat BBQ Meatloaf at the Chemical Safety Board?
A: The meatloaf falls through the holes in the grill. Ha! Ha! Ha!
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Adana Kebab

Posted on February 7, 2024 by pauldelancey

Turkish Entree

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ADANA ­KEBAB

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INGREDIENTS
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½ small red onion or onion
1 tomato
⅓ cup breadcrumbs
1 pound ground lamb
½ tablespoon salt
2½ teaspoons sumac
5 teaspoons Urfa biber*
2 tablespoons ice cold water
¼ cup  fresh parsley
2 tablespoons olive oil
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* = Also known as Urfa pepper and Isot pepper. Substitute with red pepper flakes.
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Serves 4. Takes 1 hours 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Thinly slice onion and tomato. Add bread crumbs, lamb, salt, sumac, Urfa biber, and ice-cold water to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Form into 8 logs 5″ long. These are the kebabs. Chill in refrigerator for 45 minutes.
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Add olive oil to large pan. Heat oil at medium-high heat until a few bread crumbs in the oil start to dance. Cover and grill for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until lamb is no longer pink.inside. Turn once. Garnish with onion, tomato, and parsley. Goes well with pita loaves, lavash loaves, salad, and rice.
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TIDBITS
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1) The city of Adana is in Turkey.
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2) But I am not.
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3) You are probably not there either.
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4) So that’s one thing we have in common.
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5) You most likely have salt in your kitchen.
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6) Whoa, we are so alike!
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7) Do you like Urfa biber? I hope so as I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Masoor Dal (Red Lentils)

Posted on January 15, 2024 by pauldelancey

Indian Entree

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MASOOR DAL

(Red Lentils)

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INGREDIENTS
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1 cup split red lentils
2 green chiles
2 garlic cloves
1 small onion
2 tomatoes
1 dry red chile
2¾ cups water or vegetable broth
3 tablespoons ghee* or 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
¾ teaspoon mustard seeds
2¼ teaspoons minced ginger
¼ teaspoon asafoetida*
¼ teaspoon garam masala
½ teaspoon Kashmiri* chili or cayenne powder
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon turmeric
½ teaspoon fenugreek leaves
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1½ tablespoons fresh cilantro or ½ tablespoon dried cilantro
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* = Can be found online or ethnic supermarkets
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SPECIALTY UTENSIL
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instant pot
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Serves 4. Takes 35 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Rinse red lentils. Seed green chiles if you desire a milder taste. Dice garlic cloves, green chiles, onion, and tomatoes. Crumble red chile. Add red lentils and water to instant pot. Stir once to prevent sticking to the pot. Set instant pot to high and to cook for 5 minutes. Let pressure drop naturally for 10 minutes. Gradually open steam release. Carefully open lid. Mash red lentils to your liking.
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While red lentils cook, add ghee to pan. Heat on medium heat until ghee melts. Add cumin seeds, mustard seeds, and crumbled red chile. Sauté seeds until they crackle. Stir constantly. Add garlic, green chile, minced ginger, and onion. Sauté on medium heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently, Add tomato, asafoetida, garam masala, Kashmiri chili, salt, and turmeric. Cook for 5 minutes or until tomato becomes mushy.
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Add red lentils and fenugreek leaves to pan. Simmer on low heat for 2 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add lemon juice. Stir until well blended. Garnish with fresh cilantro. Goes well with naan.
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TIDBITS
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1) Masoor Dal was born in India in the tiny village of Taaja Adarak. Not only was Masoor born in a specific place, he was born at specific time, 9:23 am, May 16th, 422 BC. Nobody would play with little Dal because he used to take asafoetida baths. Indeed, Masoor’s only companion was a time-traveling dog named Olafo. Olafo had materialized on Earth in 408 BC.
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2) “What a nice corgi,” thought the overly fragrant Masoor. “I do hope he won’t run away.”
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3) But Olafo stayed put. He’d suffered an olfactory injured in the Great Universal War between Olafo’s Orion Beltian and the sinful, hateful, evil Lutefisk Confederation of Pluto and couldn’t smell worth a darn.
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4) Masoor would often say, “I had friends.”  Olafo would reply, “I wish could smell dog butts.”
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5) “Why can’t you smell?” asked little Dal. “I damaged my nose in the war, yipped Olafo. A Lutefisker hurled a smell-stopper grenade (STG) at my squad. I sat on it. I saved my comrades, but at the cost of my nose. I’m hear on R and R.”
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6) “I notice you always carry a Lassie Laser with you?” said Masoor. “Why didn’t you fire it at him?” Olafo sighed. “The Lutefiskers had just developed an anti-electronics shield (AES). My laser couldn’t couldn’t penetrate it.” Masoor looked at his thumbs, for no apparent reason. “You need a catapult. They’re lethal and have no electronics. You’ll be invincible.”
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7) Olafo agreed. Soon the happy pair built their catapult. They loaded it with red lentils, chiles, garlic cloves, an onion, ghee, cumin seeds, mustard seeds, ginger, garam masala, Kashmiri chili, salt, turmeric, fenugreek leaves, tomatoes a huge lemon, and cilantro leaves for a flourish.
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8) Unfortunately, a mishap occurred on the first trial, hurling the enormous lemon at Olafo’s nose and knocking the No-Smell Particles (NSPs) loose that had lodged there. A canine sneeze soon dislodged them.
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9) Masoor’s asafoetida coated hand, patted Olafo’s head. “There, there.”
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10) “I can smell again,” yipped Olafo. “And you stink of asafoetida.”
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11) Little Lal’s face fell. “But that stuff on your hands would go great with the other ingredients in the catapult, of course.”
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12) “And if you put a huge rock, nothing else in the catapult, Olafo, you have a devastating weapon to use against the Lutefiskers.
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13) And so Olafo went back to his squad with his catapult. This weapon propelled the Orion Beltians to decisive victory. Masoor now put his asafoetida into his culnary masterpiece, Masoor Dal. People loved it and the now sweet-smelling chef got all the women. So, things ended well. Yay.

 Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Navajo Tacos

Posted on November 21, 2023 by pauldelancey

Navajo Entree

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NAVAJO TACOS

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INGREDIENTS
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1 small onion
1 tablespoon vegetable oil.
8 Navajo fry breads (See previous recipe for 4 fry breads and double its ingredients)*
1 pound ground beef
1 15-ounce can pinto beans or red kidney beans, drained
1 15-ounce can diced tomatoes (1 more cup later)
1 4-ounce can diced green chiles
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon paprika
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 avocado
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup shredded lettuce
1 cup sour cream
1 cup diced tomatoes
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* = Or halve the ingredients in this recipe. You’ll need to find 7.5-ounce cans. Life is hard.
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Serves 8. Takes 40 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Dice onion. Add vegetable oil and oil to pan. Sauté onion at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add ground beef. Cook at medium heat for 3 minutes or until beef is no longer pink. Stir occasionally.
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Add pinto beans, 15-ounce can diced tomatoes, green chiles, chili powder, cumin, paprika, pepper, and salt. Stir until well blended. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes. Stir occasionally. Cover fry breads with an equal amount of this mixture. Top each covered fry breads with equals amounts of avocado, cheddar cheese, lettuce, sour cream, and 1 cup diced tomatoes.
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TIDBITS
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1) It’s not very well known, but Vincent van Gogh absolutely loved Navajo tacos. In fact, culinary art historians have recently uncovered his Navajo taco still life. Magnificent, isn’t it?
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Egg Foo Young

Posted on October 2, 2023 by pauldelancey

Chinese Entree

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EGG FOO YOUNG

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INGREDIENTS – VEGGIE & CHICKEN MIX
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8 eggs
1 small chicken breast
1 medium white onion
2 stalks green onion
1 stalk celery
1 garlic clove
1 cup bean sprouts
2 teaspoons sesame oil
½ teaspoon cornstarch (3 more tablespoons below)
1½ tablespoons soy sauce (¼ cup more below)
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon white pepper
2 tablespoons peanut oil
no-stick spray
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INGREDIENTS – SAUCE
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3 tablespoons cornstarch
¼ cup soy sauce
1 tablespoon dry sherry
⅔ cup water
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Serves 4. Takes 35 minutes.
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PREPARATION – VEGGIES & CHICKEN MIX
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Beat eggs. Dice chicken breast, white onion, green onion, celery, and garlic clove. Put sesame oil in frying pan or skillet. Add white onion, green onion, celery, garlic, and sprouts. Cook on  for about 5 minutes on medium heat or until veggies are tender. Stir frequently.
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Add chicken breast, ½ teaspoon cornstarch, 1½ tablespoons soy sauce, salt, and white pepper. Cook for about 3 minutes on medium or until chicken bits have all changed color. Stir enough to prevent burning. Remove veggie/chicken mixture from frying pan and set aside.
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Spray pan with no-stick spray. Add peanut oil. Cook peanut oil on medium heat. Add ¼ of the beaten eggs and cook with medium heat until egg begin to set. Use a spatula to cut this big patty into 4 patties. Flip over all egg patties. (You might want to use two spatulas.)
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Add ⅓ of the veggie-chicken mix to the top of the 4 patties. Add another ¼ of the beaten eggs and cook on medium until egg on top begins to set. Flip these egg foo young patties. You should now have 2 layers of egg and 1 of mix for each patty. Repeat this step 2 more times until you have 4 layers of eggs and 3 of the mix. Don’t let the  egg layers burn. Place patties on serving plates.
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PREPARATION – SAUCE
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Add 3 tablespoons cornstarch and ¼ cup soy sauce to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended. Add dry sherry and water. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended. Add this mix to pan. Bring to boil using medium heat. Remove from heat. Mix with spatula until sauce thickens. Ladle or brush sauce onto egg foo young patties.
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TIDBITS
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1) Many solar orbits ago, 1728 in fact, the second half of the Foo clan finally set off from China in search of culinary freedom. But where to go? They decided to let the next morning Sun decide. As luck would have it, the Sun rose in the east. So they trekked east to America.
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2) Their leader Egg was a good man. So much so, that for ever after, whenever a man was held to be a nice guy, people would call him a “good egg.”
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3) Anyway, Egg Foo led his tribe to the Asia-North America land bridge, which no longer existed in 1738. The Land Bridge had only existed up to 16,000 years ago. The first half of the Foos had managed to cross the Bridge before it disappeared. But Chow Fun had lead the first Foos and he was a dynamic, go getter.
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4) The nice Egg Foo was not. In fact, the second Foos were rather disorganized. They really meant to leave only after the first Foos departed. But delay after delay occurred. The Foos would seem to be ready, then a little girl would forget her doll. Alfonso Foo–a Spaniard who’d married into the Foo clan–realized he’d forgotten his spear and went back into his tent to get it. Hunana Foo, decided to go through her mail. This reminded Xiangzhao Foo that she had forgotten to stop her mail and so hopped off to the post office to do so. In the meantime, Zingzin Foo had gotten peckish and decided to have a rather robust breakfast. Meilee Foo, went through her wardrobe for the 32nd time.
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“Did everyone remember to bring snacks?” asked Egg, No one had. So, all the Foos went back to their tents to make some. “Did everyone remember to bring caps?” asked Mama Xi. “It gets cold at the Asia-North America land bridge.” No one had. So the men folk took to shearing sheep and the women to knitting caps. And so it went. Before anyone knew it, ­­16,000 years had passed. The Bridge had long since been covered by rising water levels.
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5) Fortunately, Egg’s descendant, Egg DCXV–a brilliant man who really deserved to be remembered in history–made the Foos collect tons of krill. It was simplicity itself to trade this food to balleen whales in exchange for passage across the Bering Strait.
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6) In 1878, the Foos finally entered San Francisco. The locals remarked how young Egg DCLV looked. So, it was inevitable that Chef Egg’s first entry got called Egg Foo Young.
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7) Chjcken-egg historians claim that the Egg Foo DCLII joined the Cole-Younger that terrorized Missouri after the Civil War, heralding the formation of the Cole-Younger-Foo (CVF) gang. Naturally, lcocals referred to the Foo’s leader as Egg Foo Younger. In time, folks shortened his moniker to Egg Foo Young. Egg historians even aver that Egg Foo DCLII served this entree to the CVFs before train robberies. However, little evidence exists to support this preposterous, alternative claim.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Strawberry Balsamic Chicken

Posted on August 15, 2023 by pauldelancey

American Entree

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STRAWBERRY BALSAMIC CHICKEN

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INGREDIENTS­
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⅔ pound (about 2 cups) strawberries
4 chicken breasts
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup balsamic vinegar (½ cup more later)
½ cup balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
½ tablespoon minced garlic
1 teaspoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon fresh basil
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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8″ * 12″ casserole dish.
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Serves 4.  Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Remove stems from strawberries. Cut each strawberry into 4 pieces. Rub pepper and salt over chicken breasts. Add chicken breasts and ½ cup balsamic vinegar to mixing bowl. Turn chicken breasts until they are completely coated. Let marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour. Add chicken to casserole dish. Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink inside.
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While chicken is baking, add  ½ cup balsamic vinegar, brown sugar, Dijon mustard, and garlic to pan. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir constantly. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir constantly. Add cornstarch. Simmer at low heat for 2 minutes, stirring with whisk until this inital glaze is well blended.
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Add strawberry bits. Simmer at low heat for 4 minutes or until strawberry bits start to lose their shape. Add a chicken breast to each plate. Ladle strawberry glaze over chicken breasts. Goes well with rice or spinach.
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TIDBITS
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1) At the first Iowa Caucus, the Iowa Strawberry Growers Association (ISGA) made a mad attempt to showcase their strawberries to the nation. In return the “strawberry candidates” wore strawberries on their lapels. Political analysts counted strawberries distributed to determine the ISGA’s strength. This was the first strawberry poll. Strawberry poll got shortened to straw poll to save newspaper ink. Now you know.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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