Posts Tagged With: salad

Vietnamese Shredded Chicken Salad

Vietnamese Entree

SHREDDED CHICKEN SALAD
(Gơi Gà)

INGREDIENTS – CHICKEN

2 chicken breasts
¾ teaspoon salt

INGREDIENTS – SALAD

½ red onion
2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
⅔ head Napa cabbage or ½ head green cabbage
1 large carrot
½ cup fresh cilantro
½ cup fresh mint
2 green onions
⅓ cup roasted peanuts
¼ teaspoon black pepper

INGREDIENTS – DRESSING

2 garlic cloves
3 tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoons chili garlic sauce or sriracha
2 tablespoons fish sauce or soy sauce
2 tablespoons sugar

SPECIAL UTENSIL

mandoline

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION – CHICKEN

Add chicken and salt to pot. Add enough water to cover chicken. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Reduce heat to low-medium. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes or until chicken is cooked through and tender to the fork. Remove chicken and shred with two forks.

PREPARATION -SALAD

While chicken simmers, use mandoline or knife to cut red onion into slices ¼” thick. Add red-onion slices and rice wine vinegar to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Let sit for 15 minutes.

While chicken simmers and sliced red onion sits, shred Napa cabbage. Julienne carrot. Dice cilantro, mint, and green onion. Add shredded chicken and all remaining salad ingredients to mixing bowl with red onion..

PREPARATION – DRESSING

Mince garlic cloves. Add all dressing ingredients to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended.

Add dressing ingredients to bowl with chicken and salad. Toss salad and dressing with two forks until well blended.

TIDBITS

1) Shredded Chicken Salad uses shredded chicken.

2) You can tell my synapses are really firing today.

3) Shredding is also a surfing term. It means to surf a wave in a flamboyant and adept manner.

4) Shredding and shredding means to shred a wave then shred chicken for a meal or eat shredded chicken for a meal. The following conversation illustrates the two meanings of shredding.

Surfer 1: “Whoa dude, you really shredded the gnarly waves out there.”
Surfer 2: “Thanks man, primo waves. Primo waves.”
Surfer 1: “Ya hungry for Ho Chi’s chicken shack?”
Surfer 2: “Cowabunga dude, he really shreds the chicken.”

5) Wouldn’t The Two Meanings of Shredding be a great title for a book on Eastern philosophy?

6) Potato chip is a derisive term for a ridiculously small surf board.

7) Note that a small surf board is relative to the size of a surf. What is a potato chip for a 6′ 7″ man would be an okay board for a petite woman.

8) Surf boards for chicken are never called potato chips.

9) Because chickens are so small to start with.

10) Most chickens never master the art of surfing. Turkeys never do. Roosters could shred the waves if they would only concentrate. But after every successful maneuver, they’ll crow to the heavens, lose sight of the waves, and wipeout. And let me tell you, there’s nothing surlier than a rooster that’s bailed.

11) However, a small number hens can really surf. If you’re lucky you can see hens shooting the curls at your local beach. But if you want to be guaranteed world-class hens shredding the waves, you really must attend the Hilo Chicken Surfing Invitational every May. Be sure to book right away. Tickets and rooms disappear months in advance.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tuna Macaroni Salad

Filipino Entree

TUNA MACARONI SALAD

INGREDIENTS

1 pound macaroni
1 large carrot
1 celery stalk
½ red onion, white onion, or yellow onion
1 cup cheddar cheese, grated
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups mayonnaise
½ pound pineapple pieces, drained
3 cans tuna (15 ounces)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

2 quart casserole dish

Serves 8. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook macaroni according to instructions on package. Drain, set aside, and let cool. While macaroni cooks, dice carrot and celery. Mince onion.

Add carrot, celery, onion, cheese, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Stir with fork until well blended. Add mayonnaise, pineapple pieces, and tuna. Add this mix and macaroni to casserole dish. Mix with fork until well blended.

TIDBITS

1) For longest time, barbarian horsemen had pillaged northern China with scant opposition. For whenever, the armored Chinese infantry plodded toward them, the invaders’ simply rode away.

2) Then about March 31, 4 BC, Wanli Tofu was struck by a brilliant idea. It really was a falling apple that had struck him, but the pain got him thinking, “Why not block the invaders with a wall, a really long wall, one that covers the length of the country?” So Emperor Mung Bean, founder of the Mung dynasty decreed the Great Wall of China.

3) Unfortunately, the Chinese built the wall by simply stacking one stone over another. The invaders just took down the stones and invaded anew. But China got lucky. Filipino trader Marcos Marcos Marcos happened to be at court hoping to sell his Tuna Macaroni Salad to the Emperor. Tofu saw that Tuna Macaroni Salad could be used a mortar to hold the wall’s stones together. So the Chinese tried the Salad mortar. It worked! The invasions stopped. Yay!

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Kachumbari (Kenyan Tomato Onion Salad)

Kenyan Appetizer

KACHUMBARI
(Tomato Onion Salad)

INGREDIENTS

½ cup fresh cilantro
1 medium red onion
4 tomatoes
½ cucumber
1 red chile
1¼ teaspoons salt
1 cup water
1 avocado
1½ tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoon olive oil

Serves 4. Takes 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Dice cilantro, red onion, and tomatoes. Peel and dice cucumber. Seed and mince red chile. Add diced red onion and salt to small mixing bowl. Mix with hand until red-onion bits are well coated with salt. Add water. Let red onion soak for 10 minutes. Drain red onion.

Peel, seed, and dice avocado. Add all ingredients to large mixing bowl. Toss with fork until well blended.

TIDBITS

1) One of the most unsung trade routes of the Late Middle Ages, according to culinary, historians, was for Kenyan Kachumbari in exchange for Florentine wool. The Kenyans, or another name for Kenyans as historians had another name for the natives who lived then, prized Florentine wool.

2) For the Kenyans, made excellent KevlarTM type vests out of this most excellent wool. These vests proved impenetrable to all spears, arrows, swords, and knives. Kenya could never be conquered as long as it preserved the secret to making their vests. Unfortunately, in 1632, a kitchen maid, Machupa Mwangi, used the papers containing the secret vest formula to line her pie tins. These papers did not survive the baking. A few years later, Omani Arabs conquered Kenya. Kenya would not regain its independence for over 300 years. Bummer.

3) Florentine painters used Kachumbari to make vibrant landscapes. Unfortunately, these paintings had to be small as the ingredients of Kachumbari were quite perishable. (I don’t know how the Kenyan caravaners kept their avocados, which normally go bad in a few days, fresh on their months-long trek north. Modern scientists are eager to rediscover this lost art.) But one morning, Lorenzo Rotini, discovered paints could be made from minerals and plants. And they would last long enough to produce even the largest paints. The Renaissance began the very next day. Huzzah!

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tea Eggs

Taiwanese Appetizer

TEA EGGS

INGREDIENTS

12 eggs
6 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons oolong tea or black tea
3 star anise pods
3 bay leaves
3″ stick cinnamon
4 cloves
½ teaspoon fennel seeds
½ teaspoons Szechuan peppercorns or Tellicherry peppercorns or peppercorns
2 teaspoons light brown sugar
½ teaspoon salt

Serves 6. Makes 12 tea eggs. Takes at least 1 hour plus up to overnight for extra marinating.

PREPARATION

Add eggs to large pot. Cover with water. Bring to boil using high. Bring to boil. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 10 minutes. Cover and remove from heat for 10 minutes. Remove eggs from pot and put in a large bowl filled with cold water and a few ice cubes. Tap eggs all over with spoon until the eggshells are cracked all over. (Do not peel.)

Put eggs and all other ingredients in pot. Cover with cold water. Bring to boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 20 minutes to 1 hour. (Longer simmering times result in darker and more flavored eggs. Remove from heat. Let cool for at least 20 minutes. (You can let the eggs marinate in the refrigerator for hours or even overnight for a stronger flavor.) Peel and serve. The remaining liquid makes a tasty tea.

TIDBITS

1) Seven-ElevensTM in Taiwan sell tea eggs.

2) In Japan, the Seven-Elevens serve salmon on rice with butter and soy sauce, octopus salad, squid salad, cured mackerel on rice, beef dishes, cheeses, fruit cups, bento chicken, ginger chicken, and teriyaki chicken. And scotch.

3) If you’re in Thailand and in the mood for new and exciting potato chips, why head to the local Seven-Eleven? You can find there chips with the following exciting flavors: chocolate, French salad, pizza, honey-garlic pork, sweet and spicy, Peking duck with sauce, nori, crab curry, fried shrimp, sushi, taro fish, and finally hot chili squid when mildly spiced chili squids chips simply won’t do.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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My First Recipe – Paul’s Ham Salad

American Entree

PAUL’S HAM SALAD
(Old World Style*)

INGREDIENTS AND PREPARATION

 

 

 

 

 

 

Serves 6. Takes 30 minutes.

 

TIDBITS

1) This is, as far as I remember, the very first recipe I made up and wrote down.

2) It has a rather elegant simplicity, doesn’t it?

3) I think I was about eleven when I created this dish.

4) I looked like this back then. Wasn’t I cute?

5) My favorite food was tacos. Still is.

6) I was a food fussy when I was little.

7) I started cooking partly to control the meal and the ingredients. No icky foods would ever find there way into my meals. I also enjoy cooking. I find it therapeutic.

9) Food has worked it’s way into some of my novels as well.

10) This bio is over. I’m hungry.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gentle Reader,

I made this dish decades ago. It’s the first recipe I ever wrote down.

 

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Turkish Salad

Turkish Appetizer

TURKISH SALAD

INGREDIENTS

1 cucumber
1 green bell pepper
1 red onion
3 tomatoes
1 garlic clove
6 ounces feta cheese
2 tablespoons fresh mint
⅔ cup fresh parsley
3 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons olive oil
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt

Serves 8. Takes 25 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel cucumber. Seed green bell pepper. Dice cucumber, green bell pepper, red onion, and tomatoes. Mince garlic clove. Crumble feta cheese. Add cucumber, green bell pepper, red onion, and tomato to large serving bowl. Toss ingredients in bowl. Sprinkle feta cheese on top. Toss ingredients lightly.

Mince mint and parsley. Add mint, parsley, lemon juice, olive oil, pepper, and salt to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Pour this dressing over salad in serving bowl. Toss lightly.

TIDBITS

1) It is both enjoyable to eat well. It also necessary to be clean. Clean people needn’t worry about repelling loved ones and friends whenever the wind wafts your scent toward them. But why not have it all? Why not dine well and be squeaky clean? May I suggest a Turkish bath? They’re great fun. You and your 123 closest friends relax in room filled with hot air. This warmth causes healthy perspiring and gives you time to order your meal and sup.* Then cool yourself down with nice, refreshing, cold water.

2) * – But oh my gosh, be sure to tailor you menu choices to the type of Turkish bath. The Islamic hamman variety uses steamy air. This experience lends itself to eating steamed vegetables and steamed hot dogs and buns. When there, do not, do not, order the Turkish salad shown in this recipe. The steamy atmosphere wilts the lettuce something fierce. No if you wish this dish, without having to bolt down, you’d be much better off in a Victorian Turkish bath where the air is dry. Indeed, the well-known British love of salad and bathing, explains why there are only Victorian Turkish baths in that country. Now you know.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Peruvian Quinoa Salad

Peruvian Appetizer

QUINOA SALAD

INGREDIENTS

1 cup quinoa
½ cucumber
¼ cup fresh cilantro
2 Roma tomatoes
1 red bell pepper
¼ pound queso fresco or feta cheese
1¼ teaspoons aji amarillo, aji panca, or chipotle powder
1½ tablespoons lime juice
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 avocados

Serves 6. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook quinoa according to instructions on package. Remove from heat and let cool. While quinoa cooks and cools, peel and dice cucumber. Dice cilantro, tomatoes, and red bell pepper. Dice queso fresco. Add quinoa, cucumber, tomato, red bell pepper, queso fresco, aji amarillo, lime juice, and olive oil to salad bowl. Toss salad with forks until well blended. Garnish with cilantro. Peel, pit, and cut each avocado into 6 slices. Garnish with avocado slices.

TIDBITS

1) Quinoa salad is an anagram for Quad Sinaloa. Sinaloa is a state in Mexico. It is all that remains of the once proud and vast Sinaloan Empire. The heyday of the Sinaloan Empire occurred over 4,000 years ago. It’s realm included North America, South America, Europe, and Southeast Asia. It’s technology while primitive by today’s standards was absolutely whizzo back then.

2) Way back then, Rubberto Sinaloa got drunk, cut open a rubber plant, and poured its sap into a boiling cauldron meant to cook fish. The heat turned the sap into rubber. He made rubber bands. Rubberto shot his rubber bands at his neighbor and took over his lands. He made the same land grab over and over again. Soon, he became emperor of Indonesia. We should all go on such drunken tears.

3) Anyway, Rubberto’s armada of rubber rafts crossed the mighty oceans. His marines and soldiers equipped with mighty rubber bands conquered pitiful natives armed only with stick and scary faces. Then Rubberto died, no doubt at the end of his life, leaving no heir. His four main generals quarreled and the Empire divided itself into the Quad Sinaloas of Viking Sinaloa, the Pharaoh’s Egypt, the Aztec Empire, and Poway, California. Sinaloa, Mexico is all that remains of the once feared empire. The prudent Mexican Federal government has banned Sinaloa’s inhabitants from possessing rubber bands, so things are kinda okay.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Algerian Fruit Salad (chlada fakya)

Algerian Dessert

FRUIT SALAD
(chlada fakya)

INGREDIENTSFruitSalad-

½ honeydew or cantaloupe
2 apples
2 bananas
5 oranges
6 strawberries
½ teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons sugar
¼ cup lemon juice
⅓ cup orange juice
2 tablespoons orange blossom water
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

PREPARATION

Peel and seed honeydew. Cut honeydew and apples into ½” cubes. Peel bananas and cut into ½” slices. Peel and seed oranges. Separate orange wedges. Cut orange wedges in half. Remove stems from strawberries. Cut each strawberry into 6 pieces.

Add honeydew, apple, banana, strawberry, and orange to large mixing bowl. Gently toss fruit. Add cinnamon, sugar, lemon juice, orange juice, orange blossom water, and vanilla extract to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until sugar dissolves. Sprinkle liquid over fruit in large mixing bowl. Toss gently. Serve immediately or chill for up to 2 hours. Toss again after chilling.

TIDBITS

1) Albert Camus was born in Algeria. He won a Nobel Prize.

2) Claude Cohen-Tannoudji was born in Algeria. He won a Nobel Prize.

3) I was not born in Algeria. I have not won a Nobel Prize.

4) Monsieur Camus played goalie for the University of Algiers soccer team.

5) I played goalie a few time in Australian league play.

6) So, playing soccer doesn’t help you win a Nobel Prize. And Monsieur Cohen-Tannoudji got his prize without any known soccer playing. And calling the game football doesn’t help either.

7) The main thing is to be born in Algeria.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Powegian Salad

American Entree

POWEGIAN SALAD
(Poway, my fair city)

INGREDIENTSPowegian Salad-

6 eggs
3 medium carrots
3 celery stalks
2 garlic cloves
1 white onion
1 tablespoon olive oil
4 ounces fresh spinach
3 avocados
1 large tomato

PREPARATION

Boil eggs eight-to-twelve minutes, depending on your taste for hard-boiled eggs. Remove eggs. Let eggs cool. While eggs are boiling and then cooling, mince carrots, celery, garlic, and onion. Add carrot, celery, garlic, onion, and olive oil to pan and sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens.

Put carrot, celery, garlic, and onion in large bowl. Peel and cut each hard-boiled egg into 4 slices. Peel and remove pits from avocados. Chop avocados into pieces about 1/2″ wide. Dice tomatoes. Add egg, avocado, and tomato to bowl. Gently mix or toss salad with two large spoons. (Do not interpret tossing salad as an command to fling it against the wall. It will not impress your guests, unless they are wildly, really wildly into modern art.) Goes well with all sorts of salad dressings.

1) Spinach is used in this recipe. Spinach made Popeye the Sailor strong. Popeye would have liked this salad. However, this particular recipe does not, as of press time, come ready made in stores.

2) It’s not as if Popeye could stop a vicious fist fight with his nemesis Bluto to go to the supermarket to buy this salad. Bluto would knocked out the iron-deficient Popeye with the old one-two if Popeye had tried to leave the fight. And even if Popeye had to been able to got to the store, he would have need to eat quite a lot of Powegian Salad to have gotten the same amount of spinach as in a can of spinach.

3) And notice Popeye always eats spinach out of a can. The spinach in the can is already cooked. Maybe Popeye doesn’t like fresh spinach.

4) Oh no, I won’t believe that. I won’t. I won’t.. Fresh spinach is so clearly tastier and healthier for you and Popeye than the canned stuff. Popeye wouldn’t lead the youth of America astray. Indeed, I bet he only ate spinach out of a can, because Powegian spinach in a bag wasn’t sold in any store when his cartoons were being made. Yes, that’s it. I feel much better. Carry on.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Yam Neua (Thai Beef Salad)

Thai Entree

YAM NEUA
(Thai Beef Salad)

INGREDIENTSThaiBeefSal-

6 cups napa or Chinese cabbage or cabbage
1/2 cup carrots
1 cucumber
1 1/2 pounds beef sirloin steak
3 cloves garlic
2 shallots
1 tablespoon lime juice (1 tablespoon more later)
5 tablespoons Thai fish sauce or Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon palm sugar or sugar
1/2 teaspoon cilantro
1/2 teaspoon lemongrass
1/2 tablespoon red pepper flakes

1/2 teaspoon basil
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 tablespoon olive oil

PREPARATION

Shred napa and carrots. Mince garlic and shallots. Peel, seed, and slice cucumber. Cut sirloin into thin strips.

Add 1 tablespoon lime juice, fish sauce, palm sugar, cilantro, lemongrass, and red pepper flakes to large serving bowl. Mix ingredients with fork. Add cabbage, carrots, and cucumber. Mix again

Add sirloin, garlic, shallots, basil, coriander, 1 tablespoon lime juice, and olive oil to skillet. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until sirloin is no longer pink. Spoon sirloin strips and juice from skillet on top of salad in serving bowl.

A perfect salad for meat lovers.

TIDBITS

1) Cabbage is the new sexy. According to recent research in England, cabbage is the best natural aphrodisiac.

2. Many dishes are aphrodisiacs as well. They include: grilled oyster, grilled asparagus, grilled bananas, honey grilled shrimp, grilled Parmesan potatoes, and grilled carrots.

3) Whoa, look what grilling does.

4) Watch out if your date asks you over for grilled cabbage.

5) What if grilled beans were an aphrodisiac? How would you grill them? They’d keep falling through the spaces in the grill?

6) Chocolates make people more romantic. Would grilling chocolate cause overwhelming passion? Who would know? The chocolate would probably melt on the grill and drip on the hot coals below. Or, the chocolate would burst into flames. Either way you’d scorch your fingers trying to give that chocolate to your sweetheart and then you wouldn’t feel romantic at all.

7) Or you could profess you love, if you want to try a non-culinary approach.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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