Posts Tagged With: salad

Peruvian Quinoa Salad

Peruvian Appetizer

QUINOA SALAD

INGREDIENTS

1 cup quinoa
½ cucumber
¼ cup fresh cilantro
2 Roma tomatoes
1 red bell pepper
¼ pound queso fresco or feta cheese
1¼ teaspoons aji amarillo, aji panca, or chipotle powder
1½ tablespoons lime juice
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 avocados

Serves 6. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook quinoa according to instructions on package. Remove from heat and let cool. While quinoa cooks and cools, peel and dice cucumber. Dice cilantro, tomatoes, and red bell pepper. Dice queso fresco. Add quinoa, cucumber, tomato, red bell pepper, queso fresco, aji amarillo, lime juice, and olive oil to salad bowl. Toss salad with forks until well blended. Garnish with cilantro. Peel, pit, and cut each avocado into 6 slices. Garnish with avocado slices.

TIDBITS

1) Quinoa salad is an anagram for Quad Sinaloa. Sinaloa is a state in Mexico. It is all that remains of the once proud and vast Sinaloan Empire. The heyday of the Sinaloan Empire occurred over 4,000 years ago. It’s realm included North America, South America, Europe, and Southeast Asia. It’s technology while primitive by today’s standards was absolutely whizzo back then.

2) Way back then, Rubberto Sinaloa got drunk, cut open a rubber plant, and poured its sap into a boiling cauldron meant to cook fish. The heat turned the sap into rubber. He made rubber bands. Rubberto shot his rubber bands at his neighbor and took over his lands. He made the same land grab over and over again. Soon, he became emperor of Indonesia. We should all go on such drunken tears.

3) Anyway, Rubberto’s armada of rubber rafts crossed the mighty oceans. His marines and soldiers equipped with mighty rubber bands conquered pitiful natives armed only with stick and scary faces. Then Rubberto died, no doubt at the end of his life, leaving no heir. His four main generals quarreled and the Empire divided itself into the Quad Sinaloas of Viking Sinaloa, the Pharaoh’s Egypt, the Aztec Empire, and Poway, California. Sinaloa, Mexico is all that remains of the once feared empire. The prudent Mexican Federal government has banned Sinaloa’s inhabitants from possessing rubber bands, so things are kinda okay.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Algerian Fruit Salad (chlada fakya)

Algerian Dessert

FRUIT SALAD
(chlada fakya)

INGREDIENTSFruitSalad-

½ honeydew or cantaloupe
2 apples
2 bananas
5 oranges
6 strawberries
½ teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons sugar
¼ cup lemon juice
⅓ cup orange juice
2 tablespoons orange blossom water
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

PREPARATION

Peel and seed honeydew. Cut honeydew and apples into ½” cubes. Peel bananas and cut into ½” slices. Peel and seed oranges. Separate orange wedges. Cut orange wedges in half. Remove stems from strawberries. Cut each strawberry into 6 pieces.

Add honeydew, apple, banana, strawberry, and orange to large mixing bowl. Gently toss fruit. Add cinnamon, sugar, lemon juice, orange juice, orange blossom water, and vanilla extract to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until sugar dissolves. Sprinkle liquid over fruit in large mixing bowl. Toss gently. Serve immediately or chill for up to 2 hours. Toss again after chilling.

TIDBITS

1) Albert Camus was born in Algeria. He won a Nobel Prize.

2) Claude Cohen-Tannoudji was born in Algeria. He won a Nobel Prize.

3) I was not born in Algeria. I have not won a Nobel Prize.

4) Monsieur Camus played goalie for the University of Algiers soccer team.

5) I played goalie a few time in Australian league play.

6) So, playing soccer doesn’t help you win a Nobel Prize. And Monsieur Cohen-Tannoudji got his prize without any known soccer playing. And calling the game football doesn’t help either.

7) The main thing is to be born in Algeria.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Powegian Salad

American Entree

POWEGIAN SALAD
(Poway, my fair city)

INGREDIENTSPowegian Salad-

6 eggs
3 medium carrots
3 celery stalks
2 garlic cloves
1 white onion
1 tablespoon olive oil
4 ounces fresh spinach
3 avocados
1 large tomato

PREPARATION

Boil eggs eight-to-twelve minutes, depending on your taste for hard-boiled eggs. Remove eggs. Let eggs cool. While eggs are boiling and then cooling, mince carrots, celery, garlic, and onion. Add carrot, celery, garlic, onion, and olive oil to pan and sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens.

Put carrot, celery, garlic, and onion in large bowl. Peel and cut each hard-boiled egg into 4 slices. Peel and remove pits from avocados. Chop avocados into pieces about 1/2″ wide. Dice tomatoes. Add egg, avocado, and tomato to bowl. Gently mix or toss salad with two large spoons. (Do not interpret tossing salad as an command to fling it against the wall. It will not impress your guests, unless they are wildly, really wildly into modern art.) Goes well with all sorts of salad dressings.

1) Spinach is used in this recipe. Spinach made Popeye the Sailor strong. Popeye would have liked this salad. However, this particular recipe does not, as of press time, come ready made in stores.

2) It’s not as if Popeye could stop a vicious fist fight with his nemesis Bluto to go to the supermarket to buy this salad. Bluto would knocked out the iron-deficient Popeye with the old one-two if Popeye had tried to leave the fight. And even if Popeye had to been able to got to the store, he would have need to eat quite a lot of Powegian Salad to have gotten the same amount of spinach as in a can of spinach.

3) And notice Popeye always eats spinach out of a can. The spinach in the can is already cooked. Maybe Popeye doesn’t like fresh spinach.

4) Oh no, I won’t believe that. I won’t. I won’t.. Fresh spinach is so clearly tastier and healthier for you and Popeye than the canned stuff. Popeye wouldn’t lead the youth of America astray. Indeed, I bet he only ate spinach out of a can, because Powegian spinach in a bag wasn’t sold in any store when his cartoons were being made. Yes, that’s it. I feel much better. Carry on.

– Chef Paul
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yam Neua (Thai Beef Salad)

Thai Entree

YAM NEUA
(Thai Beef Salad)

INGREDIENTSThaiBeefSal-

6 cups napa or Chinese cabbage or cabbage
1/2 cup carrots
1 cucumber
1 1/2 pounds beef sirloin steak
3 cloves garlic
2 shallots
1 tablespoon lime juice (1 tablespoon more later)
5 tablespoons Thai fish sauce or Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon palm sugar or sugar
1/2 teaspoon cilantro
1/2 teaspoon lemongrass
1/2 tablespoon red pepper flakes

1/2 teaspoon basil
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 tablespoon olive oil

PREPARATION

Shred napa and carrots. Mince garlic and shallots. Peel, seed, and slice cucumber. Cut sirloin into thin strips.

Add 1 tablespoon lime juice, fish sauce, palm sugar, cilantro, lemongrass, and red pepper flakes to large serving bowl. Mix ingredients with fork. Add cabbage, carrots, and cucumber. Mix again

Add sirloin, garlic, shallots, basil, coriander, 1 tablespoon lime juice, and olive oil to skillet. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until sirloin is no longer pink. Spoon sirloin strips and juice from skillet on top of salad in serving bowl.

A perfect salad for meat lovers.

TIDBITS

1) Cabbage is the new sexy. According to recent research in England, cabbage is the best natural aphrodisiac.

2. Many dishes are aphrodisiacs as well. They include: grilled oyster, grilled asparagus, grilled bananas, honey grilled shrimp, grilled Parmesan potatoes, and grilled carrots.

3) Whoa, look what grilling does.

4) Watch out if your date asks you over for grilled cabbage.

5) What if grilled beans were an aphrodisiac? How would you grill them? They’d keep falling through the spaces in the grill?

6) Chocolates make people more romantic. Would grilling chocolate cause overwhelming passion? Who would know? The chocolate would probably melt on the grill and drip on the hot coals below. Or, the chocolate would burst into flames. Either way you’d scorch your fingers trying to give that chocolate to your sweetheart and then you wouldn’t feel romantic at all.

7) Or you could profess you love, if you want to try a non-culinary approach.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Frikadellen – German Hamburger Recipe

German Entree

FRIKADELLEN
German Hamburgers

INGREDIENTSFrikade-

1 onion (1/2 more used later)
1/2 onion
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1 pound ground pork (or pork sausage)
2 eggs
1 tablespoon German mustard or deli mustard
6 tablespoons bread crumbs
1/4 teaspoon caraway seeds
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt
8 Kaiser rolls
8 leaves lettuce

PREPARATION

Mince 1 onion. Slice 1/2 onion into rings. Thoroughly combine minced onion, beef, pork, eggs, mustard, bread crumbs, caraway, nutmeg, pepper, parsley, and salt in mixing bowl with hands. Contemplate the infinite while doing so.

Make 8 large meatballs with hands. Flatten them slightly to make thick patties. Fry patties in pan at medium heat for about 5 minutes on each side or until sides begin to brown. While patties are cooking slice 1/2 onion. Sauté onion slices in burger drippings until golden brown. (The onion rings, not you for goodness sakes.) Toast Kaiser rolls. (Hail, Kaiser rolls.)

Assemble the burger with: roll, patty, lettuce, and sautéed onion slices.

TIDBITS

1) The German word Kaiser means emperor and derives from Julius Caesar’s last name.

2) Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River in 49 B.C. starting a vicious round of civil wars that brought down the Roman Republic for good. Republics were pretty much non-existent round the world after that except in Iceland until the American Revolution in 1775.

3) Future despots though loved what Julius had done, conquering Gaul, overthrowing the Republic, and all that. So much so, they took his last name as their own or even taking the title of Caesar.

5) We see this trend in modern time. KleenexTM became so popular that all facial tissues are often known as KleenexTM.

6) Caesar also gave his name to Caesar’s salad. Blood on his hands sure, but his salad is truly tasty.

7) So if you want to achieve culinary immortality, conquer Gaul or some other country and set up your dictatorship or monarchy.

8) I have to go. I need to sneeze into my KleenexTM.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cheese-Egg Salad

American Entree

CHEESE-EGG SALAD

INGREDIENTSChEgSal-

1 head iceberg lettuce
4 hard-boiled eggs
1 1/2 cups Four Mexican cheeses
1 cup ranch dressing

PREPARATION

Wash the head of lettuce. Peel off any wilted leaves.

Chop up the head of lettuce. (Can you “chop down” a head of lettuce?) This is one of the few times where chopping by hand is far preferred to a food processor. A salad shouldn’t have minuscule strips of lettuce.

Mash or dice the peeled hard-boiled eggs. Again, go for medium size bits. Add the egg bits to the lettuce while they are still warm. Mix in the cheese and dressing.

Simple and tasty.

TIDBITS

1) People from Wisconsin are called “cheese heads.”

2) Nowhere are folks known as “egg-salad heads.”

3) I used to bicycle from Madison, Wisconsin to the tiny town of Paoli to get fresh Swiss cheese.

4) Oh, and I bicycled back, too.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pasta Salad

Italian Entree

PASTA SALAD

INGREDIENTS

6 ounces tri-colored Rotelle pasta
1/2 head iceberg lettuce
1 green bell pepper
1 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup mayonnaise

PREPARATION

Cook pasta according to instructions, or boil pasta for about 7 minutes. Shred lettuce. Dice bell pepper. Do not drain diced tomatoes. Drain pasta. Let it cool. Add all ingredients to large salad bowl. Mix ingredients.

(Almost as simple as cooking a Pop TartTM but with the virtuous feeling that can only come from eating fruits and vegetables.)

TIDBITS

1) Apparently a Roman general saw a goat eating lettuce. He said, “Like lips, like lettuce” and burst out laughing for the only time in his life.

2) My Roman History professor in college laughed for the only time over this one as well.

3 My friend and I tried to get a t-shirt made for the professor, with the apparently hilarious joke written in Latin.

4) But it cost too much money, so he didn’t get the shirt.

5) I had a superstition about tests.

6) If I studied enough, I would get an “A.”

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Swedish Pizza Salad

Swedish Entree

SWEDISH PIZZA SALAD

INGREDIENTS

1/2 cabbage
1 shallot
1 red bell pepper
1 medium carrot

1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup white vinegar
1/4 cup water
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon allspice
PREPARATION

Shred cabbage. Dice shallot, red bell pepper, and carrot. Mix together in big bowl.

Combine olive oil, vinegar, water, salt, pepper, and allspice in a sauce pan. Stir occasionally as you bring it to a boil. Pour it immediately into bowl with cabbage and fixings.

Eat right away or allow a few hours in the refrigerator for the salad to cool and marinate and to, of course, engage in arm wrestling with your athletic guests.)

Wow! This is so simple. It’s tasty. So exotic. Well, as exotic as Sweden gets.

TIDBITS

1) Sweden was home to the Vikings who raided, killed, and pillaged all over Europe from the 9th to the 13th centuries.

2) Now Sweden mainly terrorizes the world with the weird toppings on its pizzas.

3)Perhaps Sweden’s rampaging Vikings would have been content to stay at home if they had eaten this dish instead of lutefisk.

4) Lutefisk is the worst mass-produced food in the world.

5) Lutefisk is cod soaked in lye. Yes lye, the poisonous substance. While minimally tolerable in its brick-like state, lutefisk becomes truly vile when boiled.

6) Lutefisk tastes horrible, has a glue-like texture, and looks like … well, I won’t tell you. I’m grateful that it doesn’t assault the sense of hearing.

7) Kin and loved ones gave the Vikings lutefisk whenever they left for foreign lands to go raiding. They knew more lutefisk would be waiting for them when they returned. So, they often settled in foreign lands, like the Normans who sensibly preferred Coq au Vin and pastries.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: