Monthly Archives: September 2022

Japanse Tamagoyaki (Rolled Omelette)

Japanese Appetizer

TAMAGOYAKI
(Rolled Omelette)

INGREDIENTS

4 eggs
2½ teaspoons dashi (Japanese soup stock. You might have to make it using dashi powder.)
1¾ teaspoons mirin
½ tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (½ tablespoon at a time)

SPECIAL UTENSILS

8″ square, non-stick skillet
measuring cup
bamboo mat (If you have one.)
sonic obliterator

Serves 2. Takes 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add eggs to 1st mixing bowl. Beat eggs with whisk or chopsticks. Add dashi, mirin, soy sauce, and sugar to 2nd mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add dashi/mirin mix from 2nd mixing bowl to eggs. Mix gently with whisk or chopsticks until well blended. Add egg/dashi mixture to measuring cup. (You will need to measure it out later in equal amounts.)

Add ½ tablespoon oil to skillet. Heat using medium heat until oil ripples. Ladle ¼th of egg/dashi mixture to skillet. Tilt skillet to make mixture form a thin layer. (Lift mixture, if necessary, to spread it evenly.) Heat egg mixture until sets on the bottom, but is still soft on top. Poke a hole in each large bubble as it forms.

Roll setting mixture, omelette, into log shape from one side of the skillet to the other with 3 or 4 flips from a spatula. Gently move omelette log back to the side where you started.

Add ½ tablespoon oil to pan. Tilt pan to ensure oil spreads evenly. Gently lift omelette log with spatula to get oil underneath it. (You will be making a 2nd coating to this egg log.) Ladle ¼th of egg/dashi mixture to skillet. Tilt skillet to make new layer of mixture spread evenly. Again, gently lift omelette log to get new layer of egg mixture underneath it. When new layer of egg/dashi starts to set, roll it up from the same starting side with 3 or 4 flips from a spatula. Repeat these steps one more time. Poke air bubbles as they happen.

Add completed omelette logs to bamboo mat or cutting board. Shape logs into a brick. Cut into 1″-wide slices. Serve to adoring guests. Use sonic obliterator on the others.

TIDBITS

1) Eggs are amazing! They are good for so many things. Their applications are

Bouncing eggs: This use is by far my favorite use after eating them. Simply put an egg in a glass. Cover it with vinegar. Change the vinegar after one day. You should find that after six more days that the egg shell will have dissolved. However, the egg will now have a pliable skin. This egg can be bounced. How cool is that? Egg handball, anyone?

Cleaning leather: Rub egg whites into dirty leather. Wipe with a damp cloth. The rubbed-in egg whites now provide a protective base for your leather.

Compost: Crushed eggs provide essential calcium to the soil being made.

Eating: They are great just by themselves, as in scrambled eggs. They are also essential to cakes, meatloafs, and omelettes, and this tasty entree, Tamagoyaki.

Family picnics: What family picnic would be complete without raw-egg tosses and racing with an egg in a teaspoon?

Family rated rioting: Throwing stones and shooting people to express grievances against the government and the economic system is dangerous. Make rabble rousing safe and fun for the entire family. Next time, vent your rage with eggs and scary faces only.

Gardening: Placed crushed eggshells around tender plant shoots. Slugs and other soft-skinned insects will shy away as the shell’s sharp edges hurt the plant-eating pests. Take that, plantacides.

Glue: Make glue with eggs. Make your own today. Earlier times found eggs indispensable for this process.

Hangovers: Eliminate your hangover by drinking a Prairie Oyster. Add raw egg, hot sauce, pepper, salt, TabascoTM, and Worcestershire sauce to a glass. Stir vigorously. Drink.

Healing burns: First, cool down the burn immediately, any way you can. However, if the burn still swells from blood rushing to the site, try using a newly hard-boiled egg. Remove the hot eggshell and rub it on your burn. This dissipates the blood causing the swelling. Back, back, blood, I say.

Metaphors: You have egg on your face. You can’t make an omelette without breaking an egg. This was quite the popular saying among revolutionaries some hundred years ago. The rate of revolutions dwindled after this adage passed from common speech. Coincidence? Perhaps.

Nineteenth century photography: The eggs made for precise photographs. So much so that commercial establishments kept chickens on site.

Painting eggs: Ukrainians and Poles have been particularly adept at painting eggs. It’s called pysanky. You need skill and patience to triumph at this, but my gosh, the results can be spectacular. And what else are you doing with your life?

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Angry Man Rants About Causing Us Pain

Angry Man #13

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Angry Man | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One Does Not Simply

One Does Not Simply #$

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: one does not simply | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Need to See Eggs in a Sauna

All people need to relax. So do chicken eggs. They have their whole lives in front of them. What will it be like? They don’t know. Scary. They need to spend their last pre-coming out moments letting their hair down. So where do they go? To a sauna! The picture below show eggs chilling in a South Korean* sauna. Proof you cannot deny.

You Need to See #22

 

* = It might true that North Korean eggs also frequent saunas. I tend to doubt it. North Korea is under a brutal, repressive dictatorship.

P.S. It’s not yet clear why the groups of three thing is so prevalent among sauna-going eggs.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: you need to see | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cambodian Lap Khmer (Beef Salad)

Cambodian Entree

LAP KHMER
(Beef Salad)

INGREDIENTS

6 ounces fresh beef sirloin or tenderloin steak cut thinly as possible
1½ tablespoons fresh basil*
1½ tablespoons fresh mint*
¼ pound Chinese long beans (also called yardlong beans)
1 red chile pepper
½ small red onion
1½ tablespoons fish sauce, Hoisin sauce, or soy sauce
1¼ teaspoons sugar
¼ pound bean sprouts
2½ tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 lemongrass stick or 1 tablespoon lemongrass paste
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
¾ teaspoon prahok, shrimp paste**, fish sauce, or even omit
2 tablespoons water

* = or use 1 tablespoon each of dried basil and dried mint. Again, if your guest gives you guff about this, turn your sonic obliterator on her. It’s okay, you are the master of your kitchen. (See Courgette v Aubergine, 1973.)

** = prahok can be found in Asian supermarkets on online. Shrimp paste is the closest substitute to prahok. It too can be found in Asian supermarkets or online. However, foodies will tell you shrimp paste really is only a distant substitute. Indeed, an entirely reasonable approach to finding prahok is to not use it at all. If some oaf complains about the missing prahok, zap him with your sonic obliterator. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your kitchen.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

large freezer bag
deli slicer or kitchen mallet
sonic obliterator

Serves 2. Takes 2 hours.

PREPARATION – BEEF SIRLOIN

Put sirloin in freezer bag. Push out all air from freezer bag and close tightly. Freeze meat for 1 hour. (Meat will firm faster in the freezer if you put the bag on a metal tray before putting it in the freezer. Periodically check to see if sirloin has firmed. The sirloin is just firm enough if a knife goes the meat smoothly.

If cutting with knife, make sirloin strips by cutting against the grain as thinly as possible. If cutting by deli slicer or mandoline, set the cutting thickness to ⅛. (Be sure to use the safety features on these kitchen tools. (If you can’t slice the sirloin thinner than ⅛”, flatten the slices with a kitchen mallet until they are ⅛” thick. )

PREPARATION – REST

While sirloin firms in freezer, dice basil, mint, Chinese long beans, red chile peppers, and red onion. Add basil, mint, Chinese long bean, red chile pepper, red onion, fish sauce, sugar, and bean sprouts to 1st mixing bowl. Toss with fork until well blended.

Cut beef slices into strips 1″ wide and 2″ long. Add beef strips to 2nd mixing bowl. Pour lime juice over beef. (The citric acid in the lime juice will “cook” the sirloin in the same way as ceviche does for fish.) Cover and set aside for 15 minutes.

While sirloin marinates, remove outer, white layers of lemongrass. Mince remaining green part of lemongrass (Skip this bit, if you’re using lemongrass paste.). Add vegetable oil to pan. Heat oil using medium-high heat until a bit of garlic will dance in the oil. Carefully add garlic and lemongrass to hot oil. (Add sirloin here if you want it sautéed.) Sauté on medium-high heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Add prahok and water. Reduce heat to medium and sauté for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Remove from heat.

Add all ingredients to large salad bowl. Toss with forks until well blended.

TIDBITS

1) Lap Khmer is a Cambodian dish. Cambodian was, as of press time, the most popular cuisine in Cambodia. However, the cuisines of: Paraguay, Austria, Mali, El Salvador, and Luxembourg remain quite underappreciated.

2) Indeed, Greenland, with a cuisine that emphasizes: whale, musk ox ptarmigan, lump fish roe, seal meat, and wild cloudberries quite shunned by native Cambodians. Sad to say, you’ll never hear the following conversation in Cambodia.

Acharya: Hey Thyda, where would you like to eat tonight?
Thyda: I dunno. Where would you like to eat?
Acharya: I dunno, what do you want?
Thyda: I dunno, how about Greenlandic?
Acharya: Great,. I was thinking about Greenlandic cuisine this very morning. But which restaurant?
Thyda: How about The Fragrant Elephant? My friend Jorani says their food’s quite tasty. And it’s just two streets away from us.
Acharya: But won’t it be crowded?
Thyda: Yes, it will. We’ll have to make reservations right now.
Acharya: And don’t forget, let’s save room for fresh wild Arctic berry desserts. You know how much I love them.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mild Tempered Man on Lost Car Keys

Mild tempered man handles things better than the rest of us.

Mild Mannered Man #1

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: Mild mannered man | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Archer Woman on No

Archer Woman #6

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: Archer Woman | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tom Yum Soup From Thailand

Thai Soup

TOM YUM SOUP

INGREDIENTS

½” galangal root, ½ teaspoon ground galangal, or ½ teaspoon ground ginger
2 lemongrass stalks, 2 tablespoons fresh lemongrass, or 2 tablespoons lemon zest
5 Thai chiles, aka Bird’s eye chiles
1 tomato
1¼ pounds shrimp, peeled, deveined (36-40 count)
3 tablespoons butter
2 teaspoons minced garlic
4⅓ cups water
3½ tablespoons fish sauce
5 kaffir lime leaves
¼ cup lime juice
1 tablespoon palm sugar, coconut sugar, or sugar
⅓ cup fresh cilantro

Serves 6. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel and dice galangal. If necessary, remove outer, white layers of lemongrass. Mince remaining green part of lemongrass. Dice Thai chiles. Cut tomato into 8 wedges.

Add shrimp and butter to pan. Sauté for 90 seconds at medium-high heat on one side or until the bottom side of the shrimp turns red or orange. Move shrimp occasionally. Flip shrimp and sauté for another 90 seconds on one side or until the bottom side of the shrimp turns red or orange.
Move shrimp occasionally. Remove shrimp and its glaze from the pan and set them aside.

Add water to large pot. Add fish sauce, galangal, garlic, lemongrass, Thai chile, tomato wedges, kaffir lime leaves, lime juice, and palm sugar. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 3 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add shrimp and its glaze. Mince cilantro. Garnish with cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) I live in San Diego. To me, this recipe is printed right-side up. However, if I were to plunge all the way through the Earth and come out the other side, coming out somewhere near Antanarivo, Madagascar, this recipe would appear to be upside down. Oh no!

2) This is because I’d upside down as well. Fortunately, all I’d have to do read this recipe is to stand upright. Going from handstands to standing on their feet, is how people on the other side of the globe adapt to a round Earth. Crazy, huh?

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yoga Instructor Reflects on Massage Therapy

Sometimes Yoga Instructor says things that are so close to what I believe, that I could have written them.

Yoga Instructor #3

Wordle 459 5/6

🟨⬜⬜⬜🟨
⬜🟨🟨🟩⬜
⬜🟩🟨🟩⬜
🟩🟩⬜🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

 

I accidentally copied in my Wordle results for today. It looks kinda neat and, for all I know, Yoga Instructor likes Wordle. So, it’s staying.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: yoga instructor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Archer Woman on How to Behave

Archer Woman has boiled down all the rules for model behavior to just one.

Archer Woman #5

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: Archer Woman | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: