Monthly Archives: June 2012

Santo Domingo: Land Of Many Flags And One Really Great Spice Blend

The pre-Facebook history of Santo Domingo

Period                   Owner of Santo Domingo
—————-     ——————————-
1500 – 1808        Spain
1808  – 1814       Santo Domingo
1814 –  1821        Spain
1821 –  1822        Santo Domingo
1822 – 1844         Haiti
1844 – 1861         Santo Domingo (voluntary return to Spanish authority)
1861 – 1865         Spain
1865 – 1870        Santo Domingo
1870 – 1872       Seeks unsuccessfully to be annexed by United States
1872 – 1916        Santo Domingo
1916 – 1924        Occupied by United States (which missed the 1870 invitation by 46 years)
1925 – 2000       Santo Domingo
2000 – 2010      Cruise ships
2010 – 2012       Cruise ships with WiFi, so passengers can access Facebook.

The most popular spice mix in Santo Domingo is sofrito and is rubbed on meats and sauteed.

I imagine that explains much of this country’s history.

Bacon!

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Bringing Order To The Bird World

How in the world did someone come up with the idea of calling a flock of crows a murder of crows? Why not call a flock of crows a FLOCK of crows? However, it is unlikely we will be able to change everything to flocks with the Supreme Court busy deciding cases of great import and gridlock in our Federal government. But we can legally change the names of the types of birds to something more interesting. I humbly propose the following:

A Murder of Crows becomes A Cacophony of Crows

We then have a, or an

bird                           – flock name
——————————————————–
blackbird               – buboe
bobolinks              – Big Mac
boobies                  – booger
budgies                 – bean dip
buntings                – bunion
burrowing owls     – cacophony
ducks                     – DNA
elephants             – finch (an elephant is technically not a bird.)
falcon                   – fart sack
finchs                    – elephant
hawks                  –  hemarhoid
jays                       – jock itch
larks                     – lithograph
loons                    – Facebook
pigeons                – pizza
starlings               – lutefisk
swans                   – sarcasm
woodpeckers       – wart

You’ll have to excuse me, a bunion of buntings just flew by.

 

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Haikus From Left Field

Why did the chicken
Cross the road? To get all the
way to  other side

I’ve stood on shoulders
Of giant poets to write
My better haikus   : )   (Emoticons don’t count as syllables, neither does an aside. So there.)

The sky is falling!
The sky is falling! Said cute
Miss Chicken Little

Excuse me, officer
Don’t write that nasty ticket
Sun was in my eyes.

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Chicken Satay From Cookbook

Thai Entree

CHICKEN SATAY WITH PEANUT SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 pounds chicken breasts

MARINADE

3 garlic cloves
2/3 cup raspberry drinkable low-fat yogurt
1/3 cup ranch yogurt dressing
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
1 tablespoon lemongrass
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 1/2 teaspoon soy sauce

PEANUT SAUCE

1 cup smooth peanut butter
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 teaspoon red chili powder
1 teaspoon mayonnaise
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
2 tablespoons lime juice
1/4 cup warm water

quarter head of iceberg lettuce

UTENSILS

grill

12 to 20 unicorn horns
12 to 20 wooden skewers (if your supermarkets don’t carry unicorn horns)

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into 1-inch cubes.

MARINADE

Peel and mince garlic cloves. Combine garlic, drinkable yogurt, yogurt dressing, turmeric, cinnamon, coriander, cumin, lemongrass, ginger, and soy sauce in shallow bowl.

Put chicken cubes in shallow mixing bowl. Turn over cubes in sauce until thoroughly coated with sauce. Cover and put chicken marinate in refrigerator for up to 2 hours.

(If your horde of youngin’s and spouse are ravenously hungry, it’s okay to skip putting the marinade in the fridge. It’ll still taste great, but the flavor won’t quite go all the way to the middle of the chicken cube. Then again, if they’re hungry to the point of chewing fruit cake, they probably won’t notice this shortcut.)

PREPARATION OF PEANUT SAUCE

Combine peanut butter, soy sauce, red chili pepper, mayonnaise, brown sugar, lime juice, and warm water in blender. Set blender to liquify and watch until, well, the mixture is liquified. Add a little extra water if needed.

FINAL PREPARATION

Carefully thread the coated chicken cubes onto the wooden skewers. (I do mean carefully. Those skewers can draw blood.) The skewer should be in the middle of the cube. Put cubes onto the first 3/4ths of the skewer. (You will need that last empty 1/4th to turn the chicken laden skewers over on the grill.)

Grills, especially indoor grills, vary greatly in heating ability, so vigilance is a must. On my little indoor grill I cooked on high for 5 minutes on a side for a total of 15 minutes. Again, your grill might cook much quicker, say in 8 minutes total.

Put lettuce leaves on each plate. Place chicken satays on top lettuce. Pour peanut sauce over both.

The person who agrees to clean up gets an extra skewer.

TIDBITS

1) The term “raspberry” or the sound of derision made with the tongue and mouth seems to have come from England.

2) England conquered and took over Scotland, Ireland, Wales, Canada, the eastern part of America, many islands in the Caribbean, parts of Central and South America, Australia, New Zealand, India, Burma, much of Africa, and little islands everywhere.

3) It is doubtful the English did all this land grabbing by giving natives everywhere the “raspberry.”

4) A likelier explanation comes from English superiority in naval and land tactics coupled with vast advantages in weaponry.

5) England today is a part of Britain with the British Empire being much diminished from its peak. Much of this decline came about when its armed forces lost their superiority on the battlefields and the high seas.

6) However, the food prepared by the chefs of Her Majesty’s armies are the envy of British restaurant goers everywhere. These chefs even won a prestigious national award.

6) Tidbit 6) has already been written.

 

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

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Southwest Stuffed Bell Peppers – From Cookbook

American Entree

SOUTHWEST STUFFED BELL PEPPERS

INGREDIENTS

Ole.

1 green chile
5 green bell peppers
1/2 red onion
2 garlic cloves
1 cup pepper jack cheese
2 ounces Cotija cheese
1 1/2 pounds ground turkey
1/2 14.5 can diced tomatoes
4 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3/4 cup water
4 tablespoons sour cream
2 green onions
1/2 14.5 can diced tomatoes
3/4 cup water

PREPARATION

Remove seeds from green chile. Cut bell peppers in half lengthwise. Remove stem, white innards, and seed from green bell peppers. Dice green chile, red onion, garlic cloves, and green onion. Grate or shred pepper jack cheese and Cotija cheese.

In a large frying pan or skillet, cook the turkey, green chile, red onion, and garlic over medium-high heat until meat is no longer pink. Stir occasionally.

Add 1/2 of the diced tomatoes, chili powder, corn starch, cumin, oregano, cayenne, green onion, and 3/4 cup water. Bring to boil then reduce. Simmer uncovered for about 15 minutes. (No, this does not mean to get angry and cook in the nude. Sauces can splatter.)

Place as many bell-pepper halves in microwavable dish. (You’ll need a 3-to-4 quart dish if you want to use just one.) Add 3/4 cup water to dish. Cover and microwave on high for 7 to 8 minutes. (Microwaves vary in strength, so in general it’s best to heat for a short time, check the food and, if necessary, microwave some more.)

Pour any water out of the bell peppers. Fill each bell-pepper half to the top with ground-beef mixture. Put an equal amount of sour cream, remaining half of tomatoes, and cheese on bell peppers.

Serve to adoring guests.

TIDBITS

1) Bell peppers have recessive genes that prevent them from having capsaicin, the stuff that makes other peppers hot.

2) Red bell peppers are important in Portuguese cuisine.

3) In 1801 my great-great-great-grandfather Napoleon I directed an invasion of Portugal by French and Spanish troops.

4) In 1808, Napoleon I invaded Portugal again. Say what you will about his megalomania and the countless deaths he caused, he did possess an admirable work ethic.

5) Oh, and he invaded Spain as well in 1808, unleashing more bloody, unrestrained guerrilla warfare.

6) Strange to say, most Napoleonic historians fail utterly to mention how six years of conflict in that region affected red-bell-pepper production in Portugal.

7) It seems likely, though, that red-pepper planting and harvesting fell precipitously in previously culinarily happy Portugal.

8) One’s mind recoils at the thought of wary-weary Portuguese reduced to eating beef-and-red pepper sandwiches without red peppers.

9) Bad French emperor, no éclaire.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

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Paul De Lancey Set To Debate Barack Obama And Mitt Romney

I’m throwing down the gauntlet. On July 5, I will debate my two closest contenders for the presidency. The debate will be at my place in Poway, gem of east San Diego County. Greek egg flower soup, tzatziki sauce with gyros,  la daube Provencale, and doro wat will be the main courses. With Obama and Romney sleepy from the feast the debate will begin. The topic for the first part of the debate will be the role of bacon and chocolate in economic recovery. I should shine in this segment.

The second part of the debate will include lying, cussing, and name calling. I expect to finish a distant third to the professional politicians.

Post-debate refreshments will include root-beer floats-nectar of the gods, vanilla ice-cream malts, and with a touch of impishness to the politicians, Fijian orange fool.

The whole world will be watching.

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Recipe From My Cookbook – Guajillo Beef Tostada

Mexican Entree

GUAJILLO BEEF TOSTADA

INGREDIENTSGuajiBT-

4 dried guajillo chiles
1 cup water

2 garlic cloves
1 red bell pepper
2 stalks green onions
1/2 red onion
1/2 yellow onion

1/4 head lettuce

1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1 tablespoon cilantro
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 tablespoon lime juice
1 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
1 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon pepper

1 16 ounce can refried beans.
1/2 cup sour cream

8 toasted corn tortillas
1 cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses
1 cup salsa (optional)

UTENSILS

a lazy Susan, about 24-inch across, if one is lurking in your kitchen.

PREPARATION

Pull stems off guajillo chiles, leave the rest alone. Cook on medium heat in sauce pan for about 2 minutes until guajillo gives off a fragrant aroma. Place guajillo chiles in mixing bowl. Pour hot water to cover chiles. Let sit for 1 hour. Mince chiles. Dice red bell pepper, green onions, red onions and yellow onions.

Shred as much lettuce as you like. (You have nearly an hour. Or you could employ this time conjugating Portuguese verbs, always handy when dining in Portugal.)

Meanwhile back at the range, add refried beans and sour cream in pot. Mix Cook at medium heat for about 5 minutes until mixture is hot and creamy. Cover and simmer at low until chiles have sat for 1 hour.

Add to frying pan: ground beef, cilantro, coriander, cumin, guajillo chiles, lime juice, meat spice, oregano, and pepper. Cook for about 5 minutes or until meat completely turns color. (What color you ask? Turning brown is good. Orange means you magic “spice” was purchased at an alternative food store.)

Apportion refried beans equally on tostadas. Put similar amounts of beef/spice mix on top of beans. Crown tostadas with lettuce, grated cheese, and salsa. Arriba! Arriba!

TIDBITS

1) “Tostada” means “toasted” in Spanish.

2) As in toasted bread and not as in “He had six whiskeys. He’s toasted.”

3) People often toast each other by raising a glass of wine at one or more people and saying something mercifully short.

4) This practice arose when people in the 17th century flavored wine with spiced toast.

5) I strongly suspect it was the wine that made people pop up and make short speeches in public.

6) I mean, how often have you seen people make a speech at a dinner after eating cinnamon toast?

7) I don’t think Mexicans have ever flavored their wines with tostadas.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

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The Media Circus AroundThe Bacon-And-Chocolate Party

New Hope For America: The Birth Of The Bacon And Chocolate Party 

pauldelancey.com/…/new-hope-for-america-the-birth-of-the-bacon-a

May 28, 2012 – You might have missed it if you only watch mainstream media, Fox, or other media, but just a few days ago, Paul De Lancey, a rumor in his own 

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From The Bacon-And-Chocolate Manifesto

‎”Sometimes the lessening of stress upon one’s life by eating something bad overpowers the ill effects of eating the bad food.”

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Papas A La Huancaina (Potatoes with Peruvian cheese sauce)

Peruvian Entree

PAPAS A LA HUANCAINA
(Potatoes with Peruvian cheese sauce)

INGREDIENTSPapasAL-

1/2 cup red onion
1 garlic clove
4 eggs
1 tablespoon peanut oil
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoon aji amarillo pepper
4 saltine crackers
1/3 cup Monterrey Jack cheese
2/3 cup Cotija cheese
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup milk
1 tablespoon lime juice
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1/2 tablespoon turmeric
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
6 yellow or white potatoes
2 tablespoons parsley flakes
6 lettuce leaves

3 eggs

PREPARATION

Boil 6 potatoes for 35 to 40 minutes. Remove potatoes with tongs and let cool in cold water. (Remember there’s a reason for the saying, “Drop you like a hot potato.”) Peel all potatoes and cut in half lengthwise.

While potatoes are boiling, dice red onion. Mince garlic clove. Boil 4 eggs for 12 minutes. Peel eggs. Make amarillo paste by melting butter in frying pan, adding peanut oil, and amarillo pepper. Stir constantly until butter melts completely.

Put onion, garlic cloves, 4 eggs (leave 3 eggs for the final step.), amarillo paste, crackers, Monterrey Jack cheese, Cotija cheese, sour cream, milk, lime juice, vegetable oil, sugar, turmeric, and sea salt into blender. Puree all these ingredients until you get a creamy mixture.

Peel the remaining 3 hard-boiled eggs. Slice each egg into 4 pieces. Place a lettuce leaf on each of 6 plates. Top each leaf with 2 potato halves. Place an egg slice on top of each potato half. Pour the creamy mixture all over each potato half.

Serve and enjoy to people and telemarketers everywhere.

TIDBITS

1) Peru rocks the culinary world with over 300 varieties of potatoes.

2) Belgium has over 300 types of beer.

3) Coincidence? Perhaps.

4) Peru makes all sorts of tasty potato dishes to enjoy. Antarctica makes none. No nuclear missiles target either land mass.

5) Russia specializes in making vodka with potatoes. There are hundreds and hundreds of nuclear missiles pointed at Russia.

6) The connection between the threat of nuclear annihilation and potato cuisine is still unclear.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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