food

Nobel Peace Prize Winner for 2022

Too often Nobel Prize winners are given to people, worthy though they may be, who have done nothing to affect the lives of any of us. Many of the awards in quantum physics come readily to mind, just as they are as readily forgotten. Many of the winners for the Nobel Peace Prize, pleasant folks everyone of them, didn’t bring about lasting peace. They just gave the cause of peace the good college prize.

Not so this year.

This year’s Nobel Peace Prize winner, Joe Thorvald has developed easy-open, every-time, plastic bags to be used in the produce section. You know how you want to protect your Roma tomatoes. So you try putting them in those sheer plastic bags that the supermarkets offer. The plastic adheres to itself with the relentlessness of the Borg, wind erosion, or a five-year whining for an ice-cream cone. You just can’t open the plastic bags. You give up. You never buy produce again. Your diet becomes nutritionally deficient. This affects your brain. You enter politics. You become your country’s leader. The vitamins that would have kept your brain functioning properly just aren’t there. You declare war on six countries in the morning alone.

Not anymore.

Joe Thorvald’s Plastic-Produce Bags (PPB) open easily everythime. We can now all buy produce. We can now all think clearly. We will no longer declare war on anyone.

Yay.

Joseph Thorvald accepts his prize.                                                    His wife, Brida Thorvald, applauds

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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SPAM

Part of my kitchen

1) The derivation of the term “spam” for torrents of unsolicited e-mail and posts comes from a Monty Python skit where a diner serves SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, and more SPAM.

2) While tidbit 1) advanced the cause of literature and the arts, the following tidbits will extol SPAM’s contribution to culinary history.

3) SPAM was first canned in 1937. It’s jingle was: “SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, Hormel’s new miracle meat in a can. Saves time, tastes fine, to eat something grand as for SPAM.”

4) SPAM featured in soldiers’ meal during World War II as it is a good source of protein and is easy to eat. Famous people have spoken out about Spam.

“Without SPAM we wouldn’t have been able to feed our army.”
– Russian President Nikita Kruschev

“SPAM was a war-time delicacy.”
– Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher

“I ate my share of SPAM along with millions of other soldiers, I’ll even confess to a few unkind words about it – uttered during the strain of battle you understand. But as the former commander-in-chief of the allied forces, I believe I can still officially forgive you for your only sin: sending us so much of it.”
– President Dwight D. Eisenhower.

5) The SPAM Museum is Austin, Minnesota, “SPAM Town, USA.” Admission is free. Number One Son and I have been there. The poster picture on this blog is from the gift shop.

6) Restaurants in Austin, Minnesota serve SPAM. Sometimes it’s on the menu. Sometimes you just have to ask.

7) In 1989,Americans purchased 1,750 tons of SPAM. Purchases for other years is apparently a secret.

8) Hawaii has the largest per capita consumption of SPAM in the world. These islanders acquired their love for SPAM during World War II when millions of soldiers, marines, and seamen stationed there were fed vast amounts of SPAM.

9) There is an annual SPAM Jam block party in Waikiki. McDonald’s restaurants in Hawaii include SPAM, eggs, and rice on its breakfast menu.

10) Koreans love SPAM. Who knew? Okay, smarty pants, besides Koreans.

11) Many Koreans went hungry during and just after the Korean War. Thousands and thousands averted starvation only by getting food from nearby American army bases. The most prevalent gift from the GIs were cans of SPAM. People there are still grateful for this food and SPAM has been adopted into Korean cuisine.

12) I’ve heard that SPAM is popular in the Philippines as well because of the SPAM American soldiers brought with them in 1944 to 1946. My father was stationed in the Philippines after the War as part of America’s SPAM diplomacy.

13) South Korea is a firm ally of America and a strong trading partner. North Korea, however, threatens us with nuclear attack. Why? Because America never got a chance to get its SPAM bearing armies into that land. SPAM brings peace and amity everywhere. Wonderful SPAM, glorious SPAM.

14) Some years ago, I was asked to participate in the International Bento Contest. SPAM was part of my recipe.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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A Cookbook For Squares

An amazing amount of food is round. Are there other shapes allowed in cooking?

Yes, I’m glad you asked. Just in time for early, early Christmans shopping is the cookbook:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Adventures in Cooking

I often list substitutes in my recipes as the original ingredient is found easily only in the recipe’s native land. Sometimes though, finding the ingredient, usually an herb, is impossible even on the internet.

My most exciting ingredient search was for an herb that grows only in the wilds of Sinkiang Province. And even there, the herb is rare. Then there’s the problem of the Chinese police not believing I was scouring the countryside for an herb.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: food, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Cookie Day

Today is the first cookie day in a while. I’ve been busy, but now I’m not. I’m making thank-you cookies, cheering-up cookies, and cookies for neighbors, and family. I’ll be tired, but happy when it’s done.  So no time for a long blog.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Great Arctic Eats – Ölafsvik, Iceland

Do you love to eat? Do you enjoy bracing sea breezes, lava flows, chilly glaciers, and relaxing hot springs? Do you dislike great throngs of people? Do the need to meet people who believe in elves? To the point that construction workers must first determine if elves dwell on the proposed site? Well then, Ölafsvik, Iceland is the place for you.
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There are four restaurants listed in TripAdvisor(tm) for Ölafsvik! Let’s dine at them all.
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The must-go-to restaurant is Sker Restaurant, especially if you’re vegetarian. People rave about their veggie burger. Of course, being in Iceland on the coast, they serve delicious salmon and cod. Their fish and chips is first rate. The friendly, helpful also serves good pizza and an amazing salad. You have a choice of a wonderful view of the town or the harbor.
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Second on our restaurant tour is Hraun Restaurant. It specializes in seafood, serving tasty: calamari, fish soup, lobster tails, and a great fish and chips. This establishment is also friendly to vegetarians. Vegetarians love the veggie taco. The staff is truly nice and the overall atmosphere is cozy. Try the delicious apple pie and caramel pie. They even serve piri-piri chicken, a spicy dish from Africa. Who knew?
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Winning the bronze medal is Kaldilaekur. It’s a delightful cafe and pub. Go there for breakfast and try their excellent oatmeal porridge and fresh apple cubes. Efficient, friendly servers bring amazing coffee and beer. (I don’t think I’ve ever reviewed a top-rated restaurant that didn’t employ friendly, efficient, and knowledgeable servers. It’s something all restaurants could do well to emulate.) Anyway, be sure to try their great fish soup and their traditional meat soup as well. Then order the date cake for dessert.
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We now visit The Secret  Spot.  It is said to have the best fish food in the world. Try the superbly breaded fish and the several sauces that accompany it. The staff is friendly AND they have a putting green outside for their guests to use while waiting for their food to be served. How fantastic is that? I want to go there.
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Ölafsvik’s restaurants
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The four best ways to reach are by: air, sea, car, train, or even a combination of these. The traditional ways are really the best. As you can see from the above photo, the town has a bench for all to use, but Ölafsvik has so much more to offer.
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Be sure to visit Ölafsvikurkurkja. This striking modern church displays unusual lines. Everyone tells of the church’s beauty on the outside. No one seems to go inside. Why? The church resembles a ship from the side. It is also supposed to look like a cod from above. How do visitors know this? Are we to believe that tourists manage to levitate over the church but never find a way to go inside? Oh well, if you do go to Ölafsvik, please go inside and let me know what it looks like. Then pause and reflect at the beautiful waterfall across the street.
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Hike to Bæjarfoss. It is a stupendous, beautiful waterfall with a nice drop. You can see a beautiful church from up at the top. Astoundingly, it’s just an average waterfall for Iceland. However, you are here in Ölafsvik. So go see it. It’s only a short walk from the town. Beautiful lupines abound near the falls.
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Be sure to see Pakkhús Snaefellsbaejar. Say that three times quickly. This museum is fun for the entire family. It seems to cover everything Icelandic. The exhibits include: art galleries, town history, food, and a kids’ section. The museum has a nice gift and coffee shop.
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Don’t you dare miss going on Loki Tours Whale Watching. All sorts of whales can be seen including: humpbacks, orcas, and minkes. You can also spot puffins and dolphins. Excursion goers should be aware, though, that the amount of whales spotted varies greatly from perhaps one to quite a few. Also, bring a coat and a hat. It’s cold out on the water. The staff is friendly and professional. Go on this one for me. I’d surely go.
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Finally, visit Lysuholl. This farm is the place to go to  if you find there’s just too many people for your liking in Ölafsvik, This farm is in the middle of wide-open and beautiful countryside. Being Iceland, there’s also quite a striking glacier to be seen. Is this a great country or what? Stay the night here in one of its cozy cabins. The breakfasts are bountiful and delicious. It’s the perfect getaway for relaxing and enjoying. And oh my gosh, if you love horses, ride their horses.
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As always, “Good eating. Good traveling.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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This Many Calories In Four Tons of Makawoni Au Graten (Haitian macaroni and cheese)

A bit less than four tons.

The brilliant foodie Italiandiva asks:

“How many calories are there in four tons of Makawoni Au Graten?”

Dear Italiandiva,

Thank you for your interest.  The answer is 10,533,019 calories. This will serve 18,879 people.

Here’s how I derived that number. My recipe weighs 3.39 pounds. Four tons equals 8,000 pounds. I simply converted my recipe to serve 18,879 instead of eight.

Ingredient            Calories in four tons
———–             ———————-
pasta                           3,969,340
small onions                     49,528
garlic cloves                       9,434
red bell peppers               73,113
butter                            721,698
evaporated milk          1,075,472
mayonnaise                 1,441,038
Parmesan cheese         1,523,585
Edam cheese                1,669,811

Total =                        10,533,019

It almost goes without saying that you will need 2,360 casserole dishes. Actually, your shopping event will not be as fearsome as that. You already have one such casserole dish. So you will only need to buy 2,359 more. And here’s a time-saving tidbit. My recipe for 18,879 people requires 2,360 garlic cloves. That’s a lot of garlic cloves to peel. May I suggest buying already peeled garlic cloves? It will save you a lot of time. And oh, you’ll need 2,359 more ovens or one that’s built to truly exciting specifications.

Keep your questions coming.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., calorie counter

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Solving the World’s Problems

Root beer solves a lot of problems. The world has a lot of problems. We need a lot of root beer. And doesn’t it look tasty?

 

 

 

 

 

 

A&W is my favorite root beer. When I was a kid, my family would go to an A&W restaurant for a treat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: food, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where and Why There is Life in the Solar System

Planet: Mercury

Does it have tacos? No.

Does it have life? No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos:  0.38 pound

 

 

Planet: Venus

Does it have tacos? No. Looks like an overcooked egg yolk. That doesn’t count.

Does it have life: No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 0.91 pound

 

 

 

 

 

 

Planet: Earth

Does it have tacos? Yes. Billions and billions

Does it have life? Yes. Billions and billions of people. Lots of other living thingies.

Weight of two tacos: 1.00 pound

 

 

 

 

 

Planet: Mars

Do it have tacos? No. It does have Mars Bars(tm), but those are not tacos.

Does it have life? No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 0.38 pound

 

 

 

 

Planet: Jupiter

Does it have tacos? No.

Does it have life? No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 2.36 pounds (This is gaseous planet. Your tacos would fall all the way to the planet’s center.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Planet: Saturn

Does it have tacos? No.

Does it have life? No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 1.06 pounds (This is gaseous planet. Your tacos would fall all the way to the planet’s center.)

 

Planet: Uranus

Does it have tacos? No.

Does it have life?: No.

Was it once named George?: Yes

Weight of two hypothetical tacos:  .89 pound (This is gaseous planet. Your tacos would fall all the way to the planet’s center.)

 

 

Planet: Neptune

Does it have tacos? No.

Does it have life? No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 1.13 pounds (This is gaseous planet. Your tacos would fall all the way to the planet’s center.)

 

 

 

 

Planet*: Pluto

Does it have tacos?: No.

Does it have life?: No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 0.08 pound

Did this plucky celestial orbiter have its planetary status callously stripped in 2006 and only given reluctantly given back the wienie status of dwarf planet soon afterward because of widespread outcry?: Yes.

 

 

MAJOR CONCLUSIONS

1) Life only exists on planets with tacos.

2) Don’t drop your tacos on Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, or Neptune. They will continue to fall until they reach the planet’s center.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., and astronomer

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Celebrating the New Baby Bunny

I saw a new baby bunny today. It was munching away at weeds. It was so tiny. Surely, this is ample reason for celebration. So, I catered a feast for the Bunny Family.

BUNNY FEAST MENU

First course: carrot, delightfully broken into three pieces.

Second course: raisins, no sugar.

Third course: A beautiful leaf of romaine lettuce. It’s vivid greenness contrasts splendidly with the muted, nearby colors.

Fourth course: apple bits, a magnificent dessert to top off a memorable meal.

And why not? Today we celebrated a bunny’s first societal appearance. Three cheers, for the bunny debutante.

Don’t fret, I served Mr. Squirrel some rather yummy peanuts on his private table.

All in all, the wildlife and I enjoyed ourselves immensely.

 

Paul De Lancey, concerned citizen and Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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