Monthly Archives: January 2017

La Bouillie (Hot Cereal from Chad)

Chadian Breakfeast

LA BOUILLIE
(Hot Cereal)

INGREDIENTSlabouillie

4 cups water (1 additional cup later)
1 cup ground rice or wheat flour
3 tablespoons smooth peanut butter
1 tablespoon corn flour, wheat flour, or rice
1 cup water
⅓ cup milk
1½ tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons sugar

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 12 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add 4 cups water to pot. Bring water to boil using high heat. Gradually add rice, stirring all the while. While 4 cups water comes to boil, add peanut butter, corn flour, and 1 cup water to mixing bowl. Mix with fork until blended. Once 4 cups water are boiling, add peanut butter/corn flour mix to pot. Mix with fork or whisk until completely blended and the cereal has reached your desired level of thickness. Stir frequently. Remove from heat. Add milk, lemon juice and sugar. Stir with whisk until completely blended.

TIDBITS

1) Abba “Willie” Aouzou, a prosperous date merchant in Abademi, Chad, loved American country music. His one, true dream was to perform at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, Tennessee. While his fellow tribesmen sang traditional songs of their camel caravaning days, Abba sang the songs of Willie Nelson. While his neighbors ate couscous and quaffed hibiscus, Abba “Willie” Aouzou ate Texas chili and drank beer. The only thing he had in common with the folks around him was the Arabic language and a love of hot breakfast cereal.

2) Still, Abba’s love of beer proved an endless source of friction. “Willie, our beliefs forbid us to the drink alcohol.” Willie always replied, “But I have to drink beer. How else can I write a song about how my wife stole my pickup truck to run off with my best friend, the whiskey salesmen.”

3) In 1972, “Willie” Aouzou wrote about sharing a big bowl of chili with Willie Nelson. The song shot to the top of the North African country music charts. The Grand Ole Opry invited him to perform. He got a standing ovation. Secure in his success, Abba gave up beer and began writing twangy songs that fused honky tonk with the spirit of the Saharan caravans. Nashville went wild for him. A rising Swedish pop band named itself Abba in homage to him. His home town of Fi’ad, Chad went crazy as well, naming a hot breakfast cereal after him, “La Bouillie.” La Bouillie is nearly an anagram for his first hit, “Willie’s Bowl.” because there are a lot of wordsmiths in Fi’ad.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Pork Loin With Sherry and Red Onions

American Entree

PORK LOIN WITH SHERRY AND RED ONIONS

INGREDIENTSporkloinwithsherry

4 garlic cloves
9 pearl onions
2 tablespoons fresh parsley or 2 teaspoons dried
2 red onions
¼ cup butter
2 pounds pork tenderloin
1 cup sherry or red wine
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon rosemary
½ teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSILS

crock pot
mandoline

Serves 6. Takes 5 hours 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Dice garlic gloves, pearl onions, and parsley. Use mandoline or knife to cut red onion into ¼” slices. Add butter, garlic, pearl onion, and red onion to one or more pans. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until garlic, pearl onion, and red onion soften. Stir frequently.

Add garlic, pearl onion, red onion, parsley, pork tenderloin, sherry, pepper, rosemary, and salt to crock pot. Cover and cook on high setting for 5 hours. Remove pork and gently tear along grain with knife and fork into ½” slices. Put pork slices on plates. Ladle liquid and onions on and alongside pork.

TIDBITS

1) Sherry and Red Onions were a song and dance team in the MGM studio during the 30s and 40s. While never quite achieving the same fame as Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, many film critics rhapsodize wistfully over their love duet, “I Love You More Than Meatballs” in the unforgettable film, Dinner at Half Past Eight.

2) Tragedy struck the talented couple at the on-Broadway premier of the musical, A Second Piece of Pie. The audience loved it. Gallant gentlemen threw hundreds of rose bouquets at the lovely, but allergic Sherry who sneezed her way into the Guinness Book of RecordsTM. Adoring ladies threw red onions on stage in honor of the male star’s name. Unfortunately some of them swooned and this affected their aim adversely. Red “Twenty Bumps” Onions retired the very next day. So did the singer Cactus Bob Henderson as soon as he heard the news.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Pa Amb Tomaquet (Tomato Bread)

Andorran Appetizer

PA AMB TOMÀQUET
(Tomato Bread)

INGREDIENTStomatobread

4″ baguette or crusty Italian bread
4 garlic cloves
4 big, ripe tomatoes
8 teaspoons olive oil (1 teaspoon per slice)
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt

Makes 8 slices. Takes 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut bread into ½” slices. Toast bread slices in toaster on medium setting, if that exists, for 1½ minutes or slices are .browned to your desired level

Cut garlic cloves in half. Rub each slice with half a garlic clove. Do not use the same clove twice. (Doing so will bring vampires to your neighborhood.) Cut tomatoes in half. Squeeze a different tomato half over each bread slice. Drizzle 1 teaspoon olive oil over each bread slice. Sprinkle an equal amount of pepper and salt over each slice.

TIDBITS

1) Vampires can only go out at night.

2) Vampires can only enter a building after being invited in.

3) The South Pole’s day is six months long.

4) A vampire would die there!

5) Unless it could get inside a building.

6) However, the people at the South Pole are a savvy lot. They would never invite in a vampire.

7) This is why vampires hang out on Alaskan cruises during winter months.

8) However, most people prefer to visit Alaska in the summer.

9) Which is bad for blood thirsty vampires. And even the few people who go on such voyage will not invite vampires into their staterooms. It’s not easy being a vampire tourist nowadays.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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How to Say All Over the World, “No lutefisk, please, it makes me ill. Where is the nearest taco truck?”

lutefisktacotruck

“No lutefisk, please, it makes me ill. Where is the nearest taco truck?”

I used GoogleTM Translate to translate the above phrases into the following languages. You might never need to use these words in your global travels, but do you want to take that chance? Read and remember.

Afrikaans – Geen lutefisk, asseblief, dit maak my siek. Waar is die naaste taco vragmotor?
Albanian – No lutefisk, ju lutem, kjo më bën të sëmurë. Ku është më i afërt kamion taco?
Arabic – لا lutefisk، من فضلك، يجعلني سوء. أين هي أقرب شاحنة تاكو؟ (Apparently, this language doesn’t have a word for lutefisk. Who knew?)
Chichewa – palibe lutefisk, chonde, IT kupanga chilichonse choipa. uli yapafupi taco galimoto?
Chinese, traditional – 沒有lutefisk,請,這讓我生病。 最近的taco卡車在哪裡?(What? The Chinese don’t have a word for tacos and they have nuclear weapons. Oh, this doesn’t sound good.)
Dutch – Geen lutefisk, alsjeblieft, het enig ziek. Waar is de dichtstbijzijnde taco truck?
French – Pas lutefisk, s’il vous plaît, IT faire tout mauvais. Où est le camion taco le plus proche?
German – Kein lutefisk, bitte, IT jeder krank machen. Wo ist der nächste LKW Taco?
Greek – Δεν lutefisk, παρακαλώ, αυτό με κάνει να άρρωστος. Πού είναι το πλησιέστερο taco φορτηγό; (What? The Greeks don’t have a word for taco and they call their country the Cradle of Western Thought?)
Hindi – कोई lutefisk, कृपया, यह मुझे बीमार बना देता है। निकटतम टैको ट्रक कहां है? (See? You can order a taco in India. All you have to do is read Hindi and pronounce it correctly.)
Hungarian – Nem lutefisk, kérem, ez teszi beteggé. Hol van a legközelebbi taco teherautó?
Latin – Lutefisk non placet, si male me. Ubi est proxima taco dolor? (If by accident you end up in ancient Rome, you’ll be able to ask for a taco truck?)
Polish – Nie lutefisk, proszę, to sprawia, że chory. Gdzie jest najbliższy ciężarówka taco?
Russian – Нет лютефиск, пожалуйста, это не делает меня больным. Где находится ближайший тако грузовик? (The fact that the country is run by an opportunistic dictator must be balance with the fact that Russians have a word for taco.)
Scots Gaelic – Chan eil lutefisk, feuch, tha mi tinn. Càite bheil a ‘fhaisge taco làraidh?
Spanish – Sin lutefisk, por favor, TI tiene ningún enfermo. ¿dónde está el camión de tacos más cercano?
Swedish – Ingen lutefisk snälla, gör mig sjuk. Var finns närmaste taco lastbil?
Vietnamese – Không LUTEFISK, xin vui lòng, nó làm cho tôi bị bệnh. Trường hợp là xe tải taco gần nhất? (Vietnam has no word for lutefisk. Had France and America known this the Vietnam War might never been fought.)
Yiddish – ניט קיין לוטעפיסק, ביטע, עס מאכט מיר קראַנק. ווו איז די ניראַסט טאַקאָ טראָק?

My spell checker went nuts with this blog.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

 

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Shrimp Soup (Chupe de Camarones)

Chilean Soup

SHRIMP SOUP
(Chupe de Camarones)

INGREDIENTSshrimpsoup

6 slices white bread
1 12-ounce can evaporated milk
1 medium onion
1 small carrot
1 stalk celery
1 red bell pepper
2 cups water
½ cup white wine
1¼ pounds shrimp, deveined with shells still on
2 tablespoons butter
½ teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon thyme
¼ pound grated Parmesan cheese
½ teaspoon parsley

SPECIAL UTENSIL

colander

Makes 6 bowls. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Remove crust from bread. Add bread and evaporated milk to 1st mixing bowl. Let sit for 15 minutes. Mix with fork

While bread/milk mixture sits, mince onion. Dice carrot, celery, and red bell pepper. Remove shrimp shells from shrimp. KEEP shrimp shells. Add water, white wine, shrimp shells, carrot, and celery to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove from heat. Pour pot through colander into 2nd mixing bowl. Discard shrimp shells, carrot, and celery.

Add onion, bell pepper, and butter to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion and bell pepper softens. Stir frequently. Add oregano, pepper. salt, and thyme. Stir.

Add soaked bread and sautéed onion and bell pepper to pot. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir frequently Add shrimp and Parmesan cheese. Cook for 3 minutes or until shrimp turns pink and cheese melts. Garnish with parsley.

TIDBITS

1) Tyrannosaurus Rexes had tiny arms.

2) Shrimp have tiny arms.

3) Coincidence?

4) No. Culinary archeologists–Woo hoo, spelled it right the first time–have long known that shrimp are descended from T-Rexes.

5) About 65 millions years ago a massive meteor hit Earth. The impact threw up so much debris that no sunlight got through. It was like going off daylight savings time, getting up at 6 a.m. and finding it still dark outside. Then you have to drive your kid to school in the dark and struggle to get in and out of the school parking lot. But you can’t get through the parking lot because one million other parents are driving their kids as well and oh my gosh, someone cuts in front of you and you were just trying to get out of the parking lot and you honk so your horn.

Oh my gosh, that parent who cut you off, just flipped you off!

“Jerk!” You honk again.

Oh my gosh, she flips you off once more.

“Eat lutefisk, telemarketer,” you find yourself saying.

She gets out of the car and strides towards you. You get out of your car. She sprays you with air freshener. You do the same to her. It’s about to get really ugly when the principal runs between the two of you. “Leave this parking lot at once,” he roars. So you and your nemesis get back in your car. But you can’t leave the parking lot, there are still two millions cars trying to turn left at the signal and the signal stays green for only twenty seconds.

6) Same with the extinction of the dinosaurs, except their parking lot was metaphorical.

7) And that long-ago meteor caused blocked out the Sun for decades, resulting in the death of most plants. The herbivorous dinosaurs died off for lack of food. The carnivorous dinosaurs starting dying off along with their prey.

8) Except for the T-rexes who happened to be at a convention by the ocean. One powerful hungry T-Rex, his name was Billy, saw a fish swimming close to the beach. His tiny arms were just the right size to grab this meal.

9) The rest of the rexes saw this and entered the ocean in search of sustenance. The numerous rexes began to deplete the fish supply. Fortunately, the kings of the dinosaurs didn’t need massive bodies, huge heads with dozens of knife like teeth to catch fish. So over time, the rexes diminished in size until they became the shrimp we see today.

10) Okay, okay, along the way they grew a lot of arms, but that development is harder to explain.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Avocados With Tuna

Bissau Guinean

AVOCADOS WITH TUNA
(Abacate Com Atum)

INGREDIENTSavocadoswithtuna

2½ tablespoons freshly * grated coconut (9½ tablespoons more later)
2 large or 4 small ripe avocados
1 6-ounce can tuna
9½ tablespoons freshly grated coconut
1 cup heavy cream
3 tablespoons tomato sauce
⅛ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1½ tablespoons lemon juice

* = Add small amounts of water to dry, shredded coconut until it softens. It is an effort to get the fresh coconut flesh from inside the coconut. Sorry.

Makes 4 large or 8 small stuffed avocados halves Takes 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add 2½ tablespoons grated coconut to pan. Toast on high heat for 3 minutes or until coconut starts to brown. Stir occasionally. Cut avocados in half lengthwise. Remove pit. Gently scoop out pulp with spoon. Don’t tear the avocado shells. Add avocado pulp to large mixing bowl. Mash avocado with fork. Drain tuna. Add tuna, 9½ tablespoons grated coconut, heavy cream, tomato sauce, pepper, and salt. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Fill avocado half shells with avocado/tuna mix. Drizzle avocado/tuna mix with lemon juice. Garnish with toasted coconut.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe calls for shredded coconut to be toasted in a pan. Wouldn’t it be easier to toast the shredded coconut in a toaster? Yes, it would. Unfortunately, the tiny shreds would get everywhere, including on the toaster’s live coils. A fire could result, a raging inferno even. That would be bad. Your newly homeless neighbors would hate you.

2) That’s why I’m developing the Shredded-Coconut ToasterTM. Simply distribute the coconut one shred to one tiny slot. Wouldn’t that requires a lot of slots in the toaster? Yes, it would.

3) Another invention of mine would be the Egg Centrifuge CookerTM. Simply place an egg into the centrifuge. The centrifuge whips the egg around at incedible speeds, scrambling the inside. Coils inside the centrifuge cooks the egg’s inside to your desired level of doneness. No more tiresome scraping and scrubbing of burnt egg bits stubbornly attached to your skillet.. You’ll say, “Thank you, Egg Centrifuge Cooker.”

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Tiramisu

Italian Dessert

TIRAMISU

INGREDIENTStiramisu

6 lady fingers
6 egg yolks
⅔ cup sugar
½ teaspoon rum extract or 2 tablespoons rum or Marsala wine
1 pound marscapone*
½ cup room-temperature espresso
1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa

* = You could use cream cheese as a substitute, but then the ghosts of thousands of Italian chefs would arise to terrorize the world and you don’t want that, do you?

SPECIAL UTENSILS

8″ x 8″ casserole dish
double boiler (This utensil makes this recipe easier. However, the recipe is written for those who don’t have one. Life is fraught with difficult choices.)

Serves 6. Takes 6 hours 15 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add egg yolks and sugar to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Add rum extract. Mix with whisk until well blended. Add egg yolk/sugar mixture to pan. The pan needs to be just wide enough not to fall into to the pot that will go beneath it.

Add water to pot until it is 2/3 the way to the top. Heat on high heat until water is nearly boiling. Reduce heat to low and rest pan on the pot. Stir egg yolk/sugar mixture for 10 minutes or until it starts to thicken. Stir constantly. Remove from heat and cool in refrigerator for 15 minutes or until mixture is cold. Add marscapone. Mix gently with whisk until mixture is creamy.

Cut lady fingers in half along their lengths Drizzle lady-finger halves with espresso. Arrange the bottom halves of the lady fingers in casserole dish. Add ½ of the marscapone/egg yolk mixture over espresso and lady fingers. Smooth with spatula. Add lady-finger tops and the remaining marscapone/egg yolk mixture. Sprinkle with cocoa. Refrigerate for 5 hours or until tiramisu is firm.

TIDBITS

1) The Russia of 1611 to 1613 was ruled by a cat, Tsar Miiu. Miiu is the way Russian cats say “meow.” Now, cats do not ordinarily rule such a large country or even a smaller one like Belgium.

2) However, Tsar Miiu reign began during difficult times. Indeed, the years of 1598 are known as The Time of Troubles. Because they were troubling times. With lots of troubles. People were troubled by the troubling troubles.

3) On August 23, 1601, a young teen named Ivan stayed in bed. He should have been out helping with the harvest. Instead he daydreamed and daydreamed about the beautiful Reiko Go. The Gos ran a small restaurant in the nearby. As the only place serving Japanese noodles within thousands of miles, Go to Go’s pretty much had the Miso Soup market cornered. When the peasants didn’t have time to sit down, they ordered to go at Go to Go’s to go window.

4) Anyway, Ivan’s parents came in and raged at Ivan for his laziness. They called him: moss, a rock, a slug a sloth, and a sluggish sloth. Disgusted at this abuse, Ivan, a scant hour later, bolted out of bed and took off to Go to Go’s to see Reiko. He asked her to elope. Reiko said, “You’re as handsome as the perfect noodle, but I’d so as eat lutefisk as marry you. You have no money. You have no prospects. You’ve as much get up and go as a snail relying on plate tectonics for a burst of speed.”

5) There you have it, the first mention of plate tectonics. Reiko often mused about the Earth’s shifting plates during slow times at the restaurant. That Reiko had figured out the Earth was composed of a core composed of molten nickel, a mantle made of rockish stuff (This was a theory in its infancy, after all.), and a crust comprised of slowly moving plates. She could have revolutionized the world of science. But instead, she devoted herself to making the perfect noodle.

6) Reiko pointed her finger at the door. “Go, be like Dmitri, the son of our late Tsar.”
“But he’s dead, sweetheart. People say he staggered off a cliff.”
“Ivan, I don’t know that. I didn’t see that. No one saw him die. He could have journeyed to Paris for the perfect boeuf bourguignon.”

7) A light bulb went off over Ivan’s head. If no one saw Dmitri die and no one knew what he looked anymore like as it had been years since his last appearance and Dimitri had worn a cloth sack over his anyway due to his acne. So, Ivan showed up at the Russian Duma and proclaimed himself to be Dmitri, the true heir to the Russian throne. Most of the Russian nobles put up no resistance, having dined on lutefisk for lunch.

8) However, the nobility that had eaten chicken instead contested his claim. Civil war broke out. Battles raged all over the country. Crops were trampled and burnt. Foreign governments sensing opportunity, invaded. Land was taken. Citrus trees were chopped down. The Russian tangelo industry would never recover. More pretenders to the throne arose. Even more fighting occurred, enough to warrant an exclamation point! The Russian Duma met and withdrew support from all contenders. A new tsar needed to be crowned.

9) A that point Miiu, a cat, padded into the building, a mouse in his mouth. Boyar Koniev pointed at it. “That cat for Tsar.”
Boldin shook his head. “Nyet, that is only a cat. All it will do is catch mices and nap.”
“Bo ho,” said Koniev, “wouldn’t that be a huge improvement over all the tsars and claimants we’ve had lately?”
Everyone agreed and Miiu became Tsar. Miiu reigned for two years, By that time Russia had calmed down enough to raise a human to the throne. The new tsar’s chef and anagrammatist, created a new dessert in Tsar Miiu’s honor, tiramisu.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Taiwanese Beef Noodle Soup

Taiwanese Soup

BEEF NOODLE SOUP

INGREDIENTSbeefnoodlesoup

5 garlic cloves
1 inch ginger root
6 scallions (white part of green onions)
1 Roma tomato
2 Thai chiles or red chiles
8 cups water (or enough to cover short ribs)
1⅓ cups Chinese rice wine or sherry
¾ cup soy sauce
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon Sichuan chili bean sauce
(doubanchiang), Korean gochujang. or bean sauce
4 whole star anise pods
3 pounds beef short ribs
1 cup chicken stock
1¼ pounds Asian wheat noodles or linguine
¼ cup mustard greens or spinach
¼ cup baby bok choy, bok choy, or Napa cabbage
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro

SPECIAL UTENSILS

8 quart pot
tongs

Makes 8 bowls. Takes 4 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves. Peel and grate ginger root. Cut scallions into ¼” slices. Dice tomato and Thai chiles. Add garlic, ginger, scallion, tomato, water, rice wine, soy sauce, brown sugar, chili bean sauce, and star anise into pot. Bring to boil on high heat. Reduce heat to low. Simmer for 10 minutes.

Add short ribs. Cover and simmer on low heat for 2½ hours or until meat is tender to the fork, but is still on the ribs. Turn off heat, remove lid, and let sit for 1 hour. Remove meat from pot with tongs and place on flat surface. Push bones out of short ribs. Shred beef with fork.. Return shredded beef to pot. Add chicken stock. Simmer on low heat for 20 minutes. Stir occasionally.

While soup simmers, cook noodles according to instructions on package. Dice mustard greens, baby bok choy, and cilantro. Add noodles to bowls. Add mustard greens and bok choy to bowls. Ladle soup over mustard greens and baby bok choy. Garnish with cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) Not too many years ago, Susan Chang of Poway, California, posted the following question on FacebookTM, “If we took all the cooked noodles in the world and tied them together, would they reach all the way to Mars?” No response. Susan asked the same question, but added a picture of two kittens playing with noodles.

2) The post went viral. Suddenly, billions of people had to know. Purchases of noodles went up a thousand fold. The entire economies of thirteen smallish countries switched over to making noodles. Greenland built sixty million hot houses to raise wheat. Ten million babies were named after noodles, “Noodlo if they were boys or “Noodla” if they were girls.

3) Soon the world had billions of miles of noodles, enough to cover every road in the world. This naturally made traveling anywhere difficult, unless, of course, you had a JeepTM equipped with noodle tires. But we didn’t have many of those vehicles. Most factories still churned out noodles.

4) Time to cook those noodles. On May 5, all seven billion people cooked noodles. The steam from all that water boiling formed a thick cloud over the entire Earth. The cloud lasted an year. No sunlight got through at all; dinosaurs that somehow survived the meteor from 65 million years ago, died up for good. People tied noodle after noodle together. Soon a string billions of miles long circled the globe countless times. We know it was countless because no one tried counting it.

5) Sally was chose for the honor of stretching the string to Mars. Being five foot seven and standing on her tippy toes and extending her hand to sky, she managed to lift the noodle end seven feet to Mars. This was short of the Red Planet as all could see. So, Sally stood on her boyfriend Bob’s shoulders. Still short of Mars. A troupe of Chinese acrobats came over. Although they stood seventeen people tall, a GuinnessTM record for noodle standing they were still not all the way to Mars.

6) Bushnell AviationTM lent a helicopter. One person, Dwayne, held onto the helicopter and then another person held on to him, and so on. However, even though Wayne was a weight lifter, even he couldn’t hold up 15,000 pounds of people for long. He let go. Fortunately every fill into the community swimming pool, establishing Guinness records for the largest number of people to successfully perform a cannonball into a community pool and for the largest tidal wave in Wyoming.

7) Then NASA and the European Space Agency, seeing people actually performing scientific experiments got into the act. A space shuttle spooled out the noodle string as it traveled Mars. The string measured 135 billion miles, enough to get to that planet when it was closest to Earth.

12) Unfortunately, Mars was farther away than that. The phlegmatic population, there being a global cold, shrugged and built a noodle string three time longer than the first, which is still whipping around the Earth. NASA tried again. It worked! It did. It did. All the way to Mars. Sally clipped the string in two. ESA carried the second string all the way as well. The noodle strings stayed in place as the extremely cold temperatures of space froze them into super strong poles.

13) Then Amos Keeto, at Bushnell ConstructionTM said, “We have extra noodle, enough to make rungs between the noodle poles. The people of Earth, did just that. Now, if you have space suit and have enough supplies, you can climb to Mars. Way cool.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Hitler Shops at the Supermarket

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Banana Fritters From Djibouti

Djiboutian Breakfast

BANANA FRITTERS

INGREDIENTSbananafritters

3 ripe bananas
½ teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons sugar
⅛ teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup flour
¼ cup butter
2½ teaspoons honey (½ teaspoon per fritter)

Makes 5 fritters. Takes 25 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add bananas to mixing bowl. Mash bananas with fork. or squoosh with hands. Add cinnamon, sugar, and vanilla to mixing bowl. Mix with fork until batter is well blended. Add flour. Mix with fork until well blended. Add oil to pan. Heat butter on medium heat until it starts to bubble. Ladle ¼ cup of batter at a time to pan. Flatten with spatula. Do not let fritters touch each other. You might need to cook in batches. Cook one side for 3 minutes on medium-high heat and then for 2 minutes on the other side or till fritters are golden brown all over. Drizzle each fritter with 1 teaspoon honey.

Note: cooking times tend to go down with each batch. This is true even with the batch. Watch the fritters carefully and adjust cooking times and even temperatures accordingly. Remember golden brown, always golden brown. These fritters are crumbly, so be sure to get the spatula completely under the fritter when flipping them. Flip carefully.

TIDBITS

1) “Shipoopi” is also a rousing song from the great musical The Music Man. Shipoopi rhymes with Djibouti. This is no accident. Artists and song writers in particular need solitude to create works of genius. Life in American cities is rife with telemarketers, neighbors blasting music, car horns blaring, television commercials, and door-to-door lutefisk vendors knocking at your door. The Djibouti of 1943 to 1966 had none of those distractions.

2) The Golden Age of Musicals was also 1943 to 1966. This is no coincidence. The great song writers all stayed in quiet, quiet Djibouti where they never had an idea driven out of their head.

3) But in 1967, Djiboutians began agitating for independence. The demonstrations were mainly non-violent and orderly. However, they were too loud and cacophonous for the sensitive ears and minds of the song writers. The writers left the country. But they had no place to go. Djibouti had been the world’s last haven of quiet. The Golden Age of musicals ended. “Shipoopi” remains an homage to this once tranquil land. “Djibouti, Djibouti, but you can eat there yet.”

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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