The eternal struggle between the good and evil sides of our souls seems so complex.
But no, it isn’t. Our decision making process is actually quite simple as the two emus show.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS – OMELETTE 
2 eggs
⅛ teaspoon pepper
⅛ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon butter (1 more teaspoon later)
1 teaspoon butter
INGREDIENTS – FILLING (OPTIONAL)*
One or more of the following:
2 teaspoons diced herbs – fresh chervil, chives, parsley, or tarragon (½ teaspoon more for garnish)
1½ tablespoons grated cheese – Gruyère, Gouda, or Parmesan
1½ tablespoons diced meat – cooked bacon, ham, or prosciutto
1½ tablespoons combination of the above
* = These ingredients really must be prepared before you start to cook the omelette.
INGREDIENTS – GARNISH
½ teaspoon diced herbs – fresh chervil, chives, parsley, or tarragon
SPECIAL UTENSIL
no-stick pan. If you can dedicate this pan to omelettes only, so much the better.
PREPARATION
Add eggs, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Beat eggs vigorously with fork until for 20 seconds or until whites and yolks are well mixed. Heat pan at high heat. The pan is warm enough when a tiny bit of butter sizzles in it. Add 1 tablespoon butter. Tilt the pan into different directions so as to completely coat the pan, including the sides, with melted butter. When butter just starts turning slightly brown, add eggs.
Let eggs settle for 3 seconds. (You have to careful with this recipe.) Sprinkle in any filling ingredients now. Start yanking the pan vigorously back to you, tilting more steeply each time. (This forces the egg to roll over itself more after each jerk.) Omelette should be creamy, but not viscous. This process takes about 20 seconds.
Cover pan, serving side down, with plate. Hold plate in place with one hand. Turn omelette onto plate. (The bottom side of the omelette should now be facing up.) Use fork to gently finish shaping omelette. Brush omelette with 1 teaspoon butter. Sprinkle omelette with herb garnish.
TIDBITS
1) The French Omelette is quite tasty.
2) It also looks like a very thin brick.
3) This is no accident.
4) Culinary archeologists tell us that the pharaohs built the very first pyramids in Ancient Egypt with French-Omelette bricks.
5) Look at that! I spelled the word “archeologists” correctly on the first try. Go me.
6) But these omelette pyramids took forever to build. The worker ate the French omelette as fast as they were made.
7) The completed pyramids proved irresistible to neighboring villagers as well. These pyramids rarely lasted more than a day before they gobbled up all the tasty bricks.
8) Doesn’t that mean the villagers ate quite a bit of food at once?
9) Yes, yes it does.
10) Then didn’t the gluttonous eaters get fat?
11) Yes. Hence the saying “French Omelette pyramids, fat people.”
12) So, succeeding pharaohs tried building pyramids with bread slices. Remember the slogan “Pharaoh Twelve Grain Bread(tm) builds strong pyramids twelve ways.”
13) Of the pharaohs instructed their workers to dry out the bread before using it to construct the pyramids. That worked well until . . .
14) It rained.
15) Pyramid construction kept failing until Sadiski of Saqaara, near Memphis, stumbled over a block of limestone. Yowzer! That hurt. “Limestone ain’t no good for nobody but for pharaohs building pyramids.” Clearly English grammar was not rigorously taught in Ancient Egypt.
16) After the swelling in his ankle went down a light bulb–not yet invented at that time–went on in Sadiki’s brain. Why not quarry the limestone in his backyard?
17) In 2630 B.C,, he pitched the idea of cutting limestone into bricks and then using them to make pyramids to Pharaoh Djosi. Djosi, known as DJ to his subjects, loved the idea. And so, Egypt built the first lasting pyramid.
18) Overtime, Memphis would become famous for barbecue, blues, and rock and roll. The musically talented Djosi would provide the inspiration for millennia of future Djs. Now you know.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Oh gosh, a lot of this lately.
Angry Man #15
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
This is what happened.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS – CHICKEN
2 chicken breasts
¾ teaspoon salt
INGREDIENTS – SALAD
½ red onion
2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
⅔ head Napa cabbage or ½ head green cabbage
1 large carrot
½ cup fresh cilantro
½ cup fresh mint
2 green onions
⅓ cup roasted peanuts
¼ teaspoon black pepper
INGREDIENTS – DRESSING
2 garlic cloves
3 tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoons chili garlic sauce or sriracha
2 tablespoons fish sauce or soy sauce
2 tablespoons sugar
SPECIAL UTENSIL
mandoline
Serves 6. Takes 1 hour.
PREPARATION – CHICKEN
Add chicken and salt to pot. Add enough water to cover chicken. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Reduce heat to low-medium. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes or until chicken is cooked through and tender to the fork. Remove chicken and shred with two forks.
PREPARATION -SALAD
While chicken simmers, use mandoline or knife to cut red onion into slices ¼” thick. Add red-onion slices and rice wine vinegar to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Let sit for 15 minutes.
While chicken simmers and sliced red onion sits, shred Napa cabbage. Julienne carrot. Dice cilantro, mint, and green onion. Add shredded chicken and all remaining salad ingredients to mixing bowl with red onion..
PREPARATION – DRESSING
Mince garlic cloves. Add all dressing ingredients to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended.
Add dressing ingredients to bowl with chicken and salad. Toss salad and dressing with two forks until well blended.
TIDBITS
1) Shredded Chicken Salad uses shredded chicken.
2) You can tell my synapses are really firing today.
3) Shredding is also a surfing term. It means to surf a wave in a flamboyant and adept manner.
4) Shredding and shredding means to shred a wave then shred chicken for a meal or eat shredded chicken for a meal. The following conversation illustrates the two meanings of shredding.
Surfer 1: “Whoa dude, you really shredded the gnarly waves out there.”
Surfer 2: “Thanks man, primo waves. Primo waves.”
Surfer 1: “Ya hungry for Ho Chi’s chicken shack?”
Surfer 2: “Cowabunga dude, he really shreds the chicken.”
5) Wouldn’t The Two Meanings of Shredding be a great title for a book on Eastern philosophy?
6) Potato chip is a derisive term for a ridiculously small surf board.
7) Note that a small surf board is relative to the size of a surf. What is a potato chip for a 6′ 7″ man would be an okay board for a petite woman.
8) Surf boards for chicken are never called potato chips.
9) Because chickens are so small to start with.
10) Most chickens never master the art of surfing. Turkeys never do. Roosters could shred the waves if they would only concentrate. But after every successful maneuver, they’ll crow to the heavens, lose sight of the waves, and wipeout. And let me tell you, there’s nothing surlier than a rooster that’s bailed.
11) However, a small number hens can really surf. If you’re lucky you can see hens shooting the curls at your local beach. But if you want to be guaranteed world-class hens shredding the waves, you really must attend the Hilo Chicken Surfing Invitational every May. Be sure to book right away. Tickets and rooms disappear months in advance.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Now you’ve gone and done it.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
People wonder if I am as strong as many say I am. Well, I can do a headstand; it’s like a handstand but uses no hands. See the picture below. Proof you cannot deny.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Either way, well done!
If you’re happy and you know it, count to one.
One!
If you’re happy and you know it, count to one.
One!
If you’re happy and you know it, your count will surely show it.
If you’re happy and you know it, count to one.
One!
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
2 garlic cloves
1 shallot
½ tablespoon chili powder
¾ teaspoon coriander
½ teaspoon fennel powder
½ tablespoon garam masala
¾ teaspoon minced ginger
½ teaspoon turmeric
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon vegetable oil (5 tablespoons more later)
1¼ pounds fish: cod, seer fish, or king mackerel
5 tablespoons vegetable oil
4 lemon wedges
Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.
PREPARATION
Mince garlic cloves and shallot. Add all ingredients except fish and 5 tablespoons vegetable oil to mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whish until you get a well blended paste. Cut fish into 8 pieces Pat cod dry. Pat paste onto fish pieces. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour.
Add 5 tablespoons vegetable oil to large pan. Fry at medium-high heat until a little bit of paste starts to dance in the oil. Gently add fish pieces to hot oil. Fry for 3 minutes. Carefully flip fish pieces. Fry again for 3 minutes. Keep flipping and frying until fish turn brown on both sides, become crispy, and flaky. Garnish with lemon wedges. Goes well with rice.
TIDBITS
1) The two Chettinad Fish Fry fillets in the above picture look like wings. Birds have wings. They can fly. Fish that have highly modified pectoral fins can jump out of the water and glide for up to 650 feet.
2) Flying fish propel themselves out of the sea at 35 miles per hour. This speed far exceeds anything humans can manage. Of course, the limited range of the heavier-than-air fish rules out long distance races such as the mile. However, flying beat the pants out of human sprinters, whether it be the 100-yard dash or the even longer 100 meters.
3) This is why flying fish were banned from all international sprints. They never got the chance to compete in any Olympics. No, not even in 1896.
4) The Exocet missile is named after the Latin name for the flying-fish family. So, that is something.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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