Monthly Archives: July 2013

Cajun Goober Peas

Cajun Entree

CAJUN GOOBER PEAS

INGREDIENTSCajunGoober-

1 pound raw, unsalted peanuts in shells (or roasted, unsalted)
1 1/2 quarts water (and more later)
1/4 cup Cajun seasoning
2 teaspoons cayenne
2 teaspoons coriander
2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons thyme
4 teaspoons paprika

PREPARATION

Wash peanuts until water runs clear. Put peanuts (do not shell them) in large pot. Add water and salt. (Peanuts should be completely cover with water.) Add Cajun seasoning, cayenne, coriander, cumin, thyme and paprika. Soak for 30 minutes

Boil pot to boil. Reduce heat to low-medium. Simmer for 3-to-8 hours (Yes, that is a wide time range. New peanuts will cook in a much shorter time than peanuts that have been on the shelf for a long time.)

Check water level after 30 minutes. Add water if needed. Water should always cover peanuts. Start tasting peanuts after 3 hours. Add water if needed. Peanuts are done when they are firm yet tender or reach your desired texture.

TIDBITS

1) It takes about 54 peanuts to make a 1.2-ounce jar of peanut butter.

2) The protein and B vitamins in peanuts help you think.

2) The protein and B vitamins in peanuts help you think.

3 Oh dear, I need a peanut to jump start my brain. *Munch, munch, munch.*

4) You could place 18-ounce peanut-butter jars, if you could find that many, around the Earth’s Equator and still be able to go around 1/3 more time.

5 Or you could place 13.5 ounce jars around the Equator and just make one circuit.

6 But why would you want to do this?

7 Do you have the money to buy that much peanut butter?

8 Can you arrange for the necessary transport?

9) Much of the Equator is on the ocean. Would the jars of peanut butter just float away? Wouldn’t they be a hazard to navigation?

10) Wouldn’t hurricanes or tornadoes be able to fling peanut butters jars vast distances? I mean if a powerful windstorm can pick up a cow… and what happens when the jars come down. “Tonight, we have a peanut-butter storm watch over Dane County. Residents are advised to stay inside. No word yet if we can expect chunky or cream precipitation.”

11) And what of the jars along the Equator that lie peacefully along the ground. How long do you think it will be before people take the jars and eat the peanut butter?

12) Ooh, ooh! Nobel Peace Prize idea here. Countries that fight each other a lot should build a wall made of jars of peanut butter. After a while hungry people from both nations will start taking jars down and eating the tasty peanut butter. Peanut-butter pleased people perform plenty pleasant acts of kindness happiness. Kindness engenders happiness. People want more happiness. They take down more jar of peanut butter. They get happier. The wall diving the two countries eventually disappears. Everybody sees nothing but kind and happy people in the other country. Peace breaks out.

13) Peace breaks out even faster with peanut and jelly on toast.
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My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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My Three Most liked Pins on Pinterest

The following are my three most liked pins on Pinterest

confuse

 

 

correctGrammarninja

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com
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Lavender Lemon Chicken

French Entree

LAVENDER LEMON CHICKEN

INGREDIENTSLavLemChicken-

4 chicken breasts
1/2 tablespoon thyme
2 teaspoons lavender
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons lemon juice
zest from 1 lemon
1/4 cup chicken stock
1/2 cup white wine
5 teaspoons honey

PREPARATION

Crush lavender with rolling pin. Mince garlic cloves. Add lavender, garlic, honey, thyme, lemon juice, lemon zest, salt, pepper, white wine, and chicken stock to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Add chicken breasts to mixing bowl. Coat chicken thoroughly with mixture in bowl. Marinate chicken for at least 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Put chicken and marinade in roasting pan. Roast chicken at 400 degrees for 40-to-50 minutes or until chicken has an internal temperature of 165 degrees or until juices from chicken, pierced by a fork, are clear. Turn chicken breasts over halfway through.

Transfer chicken breasts to large serving bowl. Pour juice from roasting pan over chicken. Serve and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) People in the Middle ages believe lemon juice dissolved fish bones. That is why they served a lemon slice with a fish entree; the slice would get rid of any accidentally swallowed fish bones.

2) Tidbit 1) shows us why the Middle Ages were also know as the Dark Ages. A fish bone might get stuck in a diner’s throat, the place where the bone could do the most harm. But how would a lemon slice help clear the tracheal passage? I would think the lemon slice would prevent breathing much more than a small fish bone.

3) Indeed in 1355, Antonio Pesto, of Pavia, Italy, thought the same way. In his horribly misspelled work, Pescatus Lemonatus Librecum Keteris Pareebus, experiments show how lemon juice will absolutely not dissolve a fish bone in time to prevent choking. Indeed, a lemon slice caught in the throat will cause many more deaths by asphyxiation.
4) Mortality rates plunged in plague ravage Europe after Pesto’s findings became widely disseminated.

5) Indeed, many modern scholars believe that 35% to 63% of all deaths attributed to the horrific Black Death plague of 1347 to 1352 were actually caused by lemon slices stuck in throats.

6) Lemonade was invented in 1378 as a way of letting people savor the taste of lemon without the danger of its slices. Life has gotten better for humanity ever since.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Goober Peas

American Entree

GOOBER PEAS

INGREDIENTSGoober-

1 pound raw, unsalted peanuts in shells (or roasted, unsalted)
1 1/2 quarts water (and more later as needed)
1/4 cup salt

PREPARATION

Wash peanuts until water runs clear. Put peanuts (do not shell them) in large pot. Add water and salt. (Peanuts should be completely cover with water.) Soak for 30 minutes

Boil pot to boil. Reduce heat to low-medium. Simmer for 3-to-8 hours (Yes, that is a wide time range. New peanuts will cook in a much shorter time than peanuts that have been on the shelf for a long time.)

Check water level after 30 minutes. Add water if needed. Water should always cover peanuts. Start tasting peanuts after 3 hours. Add water whenever needed. Peanuts are done when they are firm yet tender or reach your desired texture.

TIDBITS

1) Goober peas was a funny song protesting the quality of the rations suffered by the Confederate soldiers during the Civil War.

2) Here are the lyrics of Goober peas:

Sitting by the roadside on a summer’s day
Chatting with my mess-mates, passing time away
Laying in the shadows underneath the trees
Goodness how delicious eating goober peas

Peas, peas, peas, peas
Eating goober peas
Goodness how delicious
Eating goober peas

When a horse-man passes, the soldiers have a rule
To cry out at their loudest, “Mister, here’s your mule?”
But another pleasure enchantier than these
Is wearing out your grinders, eating goober peas

Peas, peas, peas, peas
Eating goober peas
Is wearing out your grinders
Eating goober peas

Just before the battle, the General hears a row
He said, “The Yanks are coming, I hear their rifles now”
He turns around in wonder and what do you think he sees?
The Georgia Militia eating goober peas

Peas, peas, peas, peas
Eating goober peas
The Georgia Militia
Eating goober peas

I think my song has lasted almost long enough
The subject’s interesting but the rhymes are mighty tough
I wish this war was over and free from rags and fleas
We’d kiss our wives and sweethearts, and gobble goober peas

Peas, peas, peas, peas
Gobble goober peas
We’d kiss our wives and sweethearts
And gobble goober peas

cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Lavender Cookies

American Dessert

LAVENDER COOKIES

INGREDIENTSLavenCookie-

1 cup butter
1/3 cup sugar
1 tablespoon dried lavender (lavender buds)
2 cups flour (a bit more later for dusting surfaces)
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons water

PREPARATION

Use fork to cream butter and sugar in mixing bowl. (It’s easier if your butter is already soft from being outside the refrigerator.) Add flour, lavender, flour, vanilla extract, and water. Mix with fork until thoroughly blended. Roll mixture into large dough ball. Cover with plastic wrap and chill in refrigerator for 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Dust plate with flour. Put dough on plate and roll it out. Cut out cookies with knife, cookie cutter, or small cup. Dust cookie sheet with flour. Place cookies on cookie sheet and put in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes or until they just begin to brown.

Remove sheet from oven. Let cookies cool for 10 minutes. Remove from cookie sheet and place on wire rack. Let cool for another 10 minutes.

Cookie fiends will find waiting these 20 minutes difficult.

TIDBITS

1) Lavender has a long history of supposedly beneficial uses.

2) According to Chicago’s Smell and Taste Research Foundation, the most sexually exciting smells for men are lavender and pumpkin pie.

3) Having a man over lemon and lavender chicken and a pumpkin pie for dessert really loads the odds in your favor.

4) Unless, of course, your man has a migraine.

5) Good news, the German nun Hildegard of Bingen (1098-1179) believed drinks mixed with lavender cured migraines.

6) So why serve you headachy hunk a nice cooling drink of lavender lemonade? The lavender makes his head feel better. The lavender also makes him amorous. Can ViagraTM do as much? I think not.

7) Lavender was once claimed to cure impotence in mice. Why test it on mice? Why? Why? Do we need more mice?

8) But if lavender could cure impotence in men caused by evil spirits, it would be a great thing. Cheaper than ViagraTM. The pharmaceutical industry must be afraid of lavender.

9) And hah, Spanish churches used to burn lavender to keep away evil spirits.

10) Let’s recap. Lavender chases away evil spirits that cause male impotency, cures impotency, banishes headaches, puts a man in a loving mood, makes a great entree, and is the just the thing for a nice cooling drink.

11) And if you don’t have a date lavender will: protect you from the plague, alleviate muscular pains, diminish cold sores, soothe insect bites, banish head lice, mask halitosis, and control dandruff.

12) Yay lavender.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Koshary From Egypt

Egyptian Entree

KOSHARY

INGREDIENTSKoshary-

1 cup lentils
3 cloves garlic
2 onions
4 tomatoes
1 1/2 cups white rice
1 pound elbow macaroni

1/2 tablespoon olive oil (1-1/2 tablespoons more later)
1 15 ounce can chickpeas
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon cumin
1 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1-1/2 tablespoons olive oil

2 tablespoons white vinegar
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon salt

Makes 8 bowls. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Soak lentils in bowl for 1 hour. While lentils are soaking, mince garlic and onions. Dice tomatoes. Cook rice according to instructions on package. Cook elbow macaroni according to instructions on package. Cook lentils according to instructions on package. (Thank goodness for package instructions.)

Put olive oil and onion in skillet. Sauté on medium-high heat for 10 minutes or until onion begins to brown. Stir frequently. Remove onion and place on towel-covered plate. Add garlic to skillet. Sauté on medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Stir frequently. Remove garlic and place on towel-covered plate.

Add olive oil, chickpeas, tomato, cayenne pepper, cumin, black pepper, and salt to skillet. Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Put chickpea mixture into serving bowl.

Combine garlic, white vinegar, and red wine vinegar in mixing bowl.

Serve on plate with a spoonful each of: rice, macaroni, lentils, chickpea mixture, vinegar/garlic mixture, and top with a spoonful of sautéed onion.

TIDBITS

1) Chickpeas preserved the United States of America during its unpleasant Civil War of 1861-1865.
2) Rebel forces during this war often ran short of fun food to eat. Sausage pizzas were unheard of on the front lines as early as August, 1861. Quiche Lorraine disappeared by February, 1862. Caviar in April. Chicken parmigiana in August. And so it went. The Confederate forces had to subsist on chickpeas.

3) By September, 1862, the Confederacy was on the culinary ropes. General Robert E. Lee, command of the Army of Northern Virginia devised a daring invasion of Maryland and Pennsylvania to secure vast supplies of ham so necessary to delicious recipes such as juice and sugar-glazed ham.

4) But it didn’t happen. Sometime in September, Union soldiers looking for fine Southern tobacco hit the Mother Lode, found three fine cigars wrapped in sheets of paper. These papers detailed General Lee’s invasion plans.

5) The Union scouts turned the plans over to General McClellan, commander of the Army of the Potomac. The Northern forces scurried, between epic banquets, to intercept the rebel foes. The worthy foes collided at Antietam, Maryland on September 17, 1862.

6) Fighting at Antietam’s cornfield was so hot that the kernels popped off the corn cobs. And so popcorn was invented while the South’s hopes for military victory melted as fast as ice cream on a charcoal grill.

7) But it needn’t have happened that way. If only Lee’s orders had been wrapped in a can of chickpeas. Those Northern scouts fresh off a meal of bacon cheeseburgers would surely have ignored orders surrounding a can of chickpeas.

8) And so, the South would eventually lose the Civil War. The Union would be preserved. Slavery would be abolished and bacon cheeseburgers would forever after dominate the nation’s culinary scene.

9) And so it goes.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Sausage Cheese Grits

American Breakfast

SAUSAGE CHEESE GRITS

INGREDIENTSSausCheesGrit-

1 cup uncooked grits
4 cups water
1 pound pork sausage
1 7-ounce can green chiles
6 tablespoons butter
3 eggs
1 cup grated cheddar cheese
1/2 teaspoon ScotchbBonnet sauce or TabascoTM sauce
1 tablespoon parsley

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add grits and water to pot. Cook on medium heat for 5 minutes or until mixture thickens. Cook sausage and green chiles in pan on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until sausage browns.

Combine butter, eggs, cheese, and Scotch bonnet sauce, grits, and sausage/chile mix to casserole dish. Sprinkle parsley on top. Put casserole dish in oven. Bake for 60 minutes at 350 degrees.

TIDBITS

1) I don’t know how many grits are in a tablespoon. There are, however, about 20,000 grains of sugar per tablespoon.

2) All you have to do to get grits/tablespoon ratio is to multiply 20,000 (the number of sugar grains in a tablespoon) by the (volume of the average sugar grain/volume of the average grit).

3) Simple, once you’ve measured a grit and a sugar grain with a teeny, tiny ruler.

4) You cannot buy a single grit. It tends to be sold in bulk. The stand unit of measurement for grits is a bowl.

5) You can purchase a single Grit magazine if you really, really want to buy a single Grit.

6) It is easier to eat a single Scotch bonnet pepper than the bonnets women of the Old West wore on their heads, it is much spicier as well. So it’s kinda of a trade off.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Yansoon (aniseed drink)

Egyptian Dessert

YANSOON
(aniseed drink)

INGREDIENTSYansoon-

4 cups water
6 tablespoons aniseed
2 tablespoons sugar

SPECIAL UTENSIL

tea strainer
or
cheesecloth

PREPARATION

Boil all ingredients together for 2 minutes. Stir until sugar dissolves. Pour through tea strainer or cheesecloth into teapot or cups. You’re done. Enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) Yansoon is an anagram for Nano soy.

2) Nano means one billionth. A nano soy is one billionth of a soy.

3) How can you have one billionth of a soy? Maybe a tiny part of a soy bean.

4) Tofu is made from soy. So, it’s probably the merest speck of a tofu cube.

5) A mere speck is just a tiny dot. A meerkat is a mammal. The San Diego Zoo has meerkats.

6) Did you know that a colony, or is it a coagulation, of meerkats always has a designated lookout. This sentinel’s only job is to search the sky and warn the colony of approaching hawks?

7) There are no hawks at the San Diego Zoo, so this precaution is unnecessary.

8) But it’s not harmful either. And how do these San Diegan meerkats know for sure they won’t wake up tomorrow in Hawkland?

9) If a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing well. Would the many, many industrial accidents and disasters throughout the years have occurred if meerkats had been overseeing the projects? I think not.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Spam Burger From Hawaii

Hawaiian Entree

SPAM BURGER

INGREDIENTSSpamBurger-

3 cloves garlic
1 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3/4 cup pineapple juice
2 tablespoons red wine
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup cornstarch
1 12 ounce can SPAM

4 pineapple rings
4 slices mild cheddar cheese
4 lettuce leaves
4 hamburger buns

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric skillet

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves. Put garlic, brown sugar, lemon juice, pineapple juice, red wine, soy sauce, water, and cornstarch in large mixing bowl. Stir with whisk or fork until brown sugar dissolves and cornstrach blends in. Cut SPAM into 8 strips. Add SPAM. Let SPAM marinate for 60 minutes.

Set skillet to 350 degrees. Put SPAM strips and pineapple rings in skillet. Fry for 4 minutes. Turn over SPAM and pineapple. Add cheese slices. Fry for another 4 minutes.

While SPAM strips and pineapple rings are frying, add marinade to frying pan. Simmer for 8 minutes on low heat, stirring constantly.

Put 2 SPAM strips with melted cheese on bottom buns. Ladle as much cooked marinade on top as desired. (If you desire a lot of sticky marinade, may I suggest a lot of napkins.) Add lettuce and complete with top hamburger bun.

Left over sauce goes great with stir fry.

TIDBITS

1) The derivation of the term “spam” for torrents of unsolicited e-mail and posts comes from a Monty Python skit where a diner serves SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, and more SPAM. This skit can be seen on YouTubeTM via the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE

2) While tidbit 1) advanced the cause of literature and the arts, the following tidbits will extol SPAM’s contribution to culinary history.

3) SPAM was first canned in 1937. It’s jingle was: “SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, Hormel’s new miracle meat in a can. Saves time, tastes fine, to eat something grand as for SPAM.”

4) SPAM featured in soldiers’ meal during World War II as it is a good source of protein and is easy to eat. Famous people have spoken out about Spam.

“Without SPAM we wouldn’t have been able to feed our army.”
– Russian President Nikita Kruschev

“SPAM was a war-time delicacy.”
– Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher

“I ate my share of SPAM along with millions of other soldiers, I’ll even confess to a few unkind words about it – uttered during the strain of battle you understand. But as the former commander-in-chief of the allied forces, I believe I can still officially forgive you for your only sin: sending us so much of it.”
– President Dwight D. Eisenhower.

5) The SPAM Museum is Austin, Minnesota, “SPAM Town, USA.” Admission is free.

6) In 1989,Americans purchased 1,750 tons of SPAM. Purchases for other years is apparently a secret.

7) Hawaii has the largest per capita consumption of SPAM in the world. These islanders acquired their love for SPAM during World War II when millions of soldiers, marines, and seamen stationed there were fed vast amounts of SPAM.

8) There is an annual SPAM Jam block party in Waikiki. McDonald’s restaurants in Hawaii include SPAM, eggs, and rice on its breakfast menu.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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The Darwin Murders Literary Event: Get Happy

Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, The Darwin Murders. This event takes place July 20 on Facebook. Click on the below link to find out more.

https://www.facebook.com/events/137774169753258/

We encourage you to have Fun with this event. C’mon, get happy.

And now a picture to inspire you as you plot your Darwin murder.

brunette2

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