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Motivational Poster #1, Goals

Dear Reader,

Life is hard. But if we don’t try to achieve anything, we will be become listless and depressed. We can do little things, sure. However, if we accept these minor achievements as the limit of what we will do, we will end up accepting small deeds as the limit of what we CAN do.

We must attempt things we thought we could never do. Our reach must exceed our grasp. We must set ourselves spectacular goals. We must do things that make our heart race.

We must be able to shout to the heavens, “I live for adrenaline.”

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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My Favorite Restaurants – JV’s, San Diego

 

San Diego is extraordinarily fortunate to possess so many fine Mexican taco shops and restaurants. I could eat Mexican food at least once every day for the rest of my life. So, I feel like I am in heaven living here. I do think, though, that the Mexican restaurant I would want to see in Heaven, in JV’s.

I believe the best restaurants often are family run where the family members love to make food all hours of the day. I am well aware that making food and running is truly hard, tiring work. But the workers at the great dining restaurants are so, so dedicated and really seem to have the attitude of, “Wow! I get to make food all day long. What else in life is as worthy?”

The family running JV’s has this attitude. I marvel at their stamina and speed. JV workers, I tip my hat to you.

And I haven’t even gotten to their food. Their Mexican food is the best in the county and I have been to many Mexican restaurants. My family wants to go there whenever we’re near. One of my sons works in St. Paul. The other son goes to school in Chicago. Whenever I pick them up at the airport, we have to get food from JV’s on the way home. This is always a line to order food at JV’s.

All of the dishes on their menu are authentic and taste great. (Okay, you can get hamburgers, but please, please try their Mexican dishes.) They have such a selection. I have sometimes found that a huge menu means that the food is not fresh or prepared in a hurry. JV’s avoids this trap by making their dishes so quickly. As I said above, their chefs amaze me.

My favorite food from anywhere in the world is the taco that has a crispy corn tortilla and shredded beef. They prepare this taco so well. I also order their combo shredded beef/bean burrito. All their other dishes are wonderful, including the steak Milanesa. However, their crispy, shredded-beef taco tastes so wonderful that I almost feel like I’m having an affair when I order something else.

The decor at JV’s is somewhat between the usual taco shop and a pure sit-down restaurant. They adorn their walls with Mexican art and pictures of the local sports team they ‘ve sponsored . Their TVs show sports of interest to their clientele, such as Mexican soccer games.

Oh, and their prices are so reasonable. They rival or are below those of other taco restaurants. All in all, the value of their Mexican food is clearly the best in San Diego county.

Now I’m hungry for their food. It’s been two whole days since I’ve had their tacos and burritos.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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I Will Become a Runway Model

I need something to pep up my life and I haven’t had much to do lately what with near retirement and the pandemic crimping my forays into the world of people. So, I have resolved to become a runway model. This goal might be seem farfetched. “Paul,” people will say, “runway models are women, young, super thin, and take heroin to stay super thin. You’re an overweight man, on Social Security, and your only drug is regular soda, which, if anything, adds to your weight.”

A bit harsh, but true. However, I would retort, “There are millions upon millions of overweight, retired men who wear clothes. Have you ever seen masses of feral, overweight masses of older, nude men in public?”

No, they have not. I shall give these sartorially forgotten men a voice. I will be their clothing icon. Keep tuned to my quest.

** In training for my new career. **

Dear readers, I would cheer me up to hear from you. Where are you from? What do you like to do? What’s your favorite local food? What would you like me to blog about? Thanks.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

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Very Bad Day

Dear readers,

I had an absolutely bad day at home and it’s not likely to ever get better. I don’t have the joy or energy to write a long or creative blog. Please send kind thoughts or tell me what country you’re from and what you’ve like about my blogs and what you’d like to see in future ones.

 

Thank you,

Paul De Lancey

 

 

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Emperor Paul I

The picture to the right shows what I would look like were I to become emperor. And why not? I’m a nice guy. Also, according to long standing family belief, I am the fifth generation, direct descendant of Emperor Napoleon I. So you can see I have a valid claim to be the ruler of France. And I’m quite up on French history as well as being aware of French politics. Also, I have spent time in France on multiple occasions, I’ve bicycled from one end of France to another, love French cuisine, am adept at cooking French dishes. At my peak, I could speak fluent French at a third-grade level. What more do you want? Anyway, the country is a total mess, I am less so. Time to make me leader of France. My slogan is, “Take naps. Do no harm.” Aux armes, citoyens.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., Paul I

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Triple Sandwich

Peruvian Entree

TRIPLE SANDWICH

INGREDIENTS

2 eggs
4 slices white bread
1 small avocado
1 small tomato
3 tablespoons mayonnaise (6 times at ½ tablespoon)
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt

Makes 1 sandwich. Serves 2. Takes 20, or so, minutes, depending on the hardness of the boiled egg.

PREPARATION

Boil 2 eggs in water for 6 minutes, for soft boiled, to 12 minutes, for hard boiled. While eggs boil trim crusts off bread slices. Peel and remove pit of avocado. Cut avocado into ½” cubes. Dice tomato. Peel eggs. Cut each egg into 2 slices along its length.

Spread ½ tablespoon mayonnaise on 1st slice of bread. Arrange avocado cubes evenly over mayonnaise. Sprinkle pepper and salt over avocado.

Spread ½ tablespoon mayonnaise on each side of 2nd slice of bread. Put 2nd slice of bread on avocado. Sprinkle diced tomato evenly on 2nd bread slice.

Spread ½ tablespoon mayonnaise on each side of 3nd slice of bread. Put 3nd slice of bread on diced tomatoes. Arrange egg slices evenly on 3rd bread slice.

Spread ½ tablespoon mayonnaise on 4th slice of bread. Put 4th bread slice, mayonnaise side down, on egg slices. Cut sandwich diagonally. This sandwich looks really nice.

TIDBITS

1) A triple is a term from Peruvian baseball. Baseball was invented in Peru by Señor Alfredo Lopez de Santiago y Albondigas. Lopez owned many large diamond mines in Northern Peru. Diamond mining was cramped work. Cramped work leads to cramped workers. Cramped workers lead to crimped productions. So to stretch the muscles of his miners, Lopez invented the game of Baseball. This occurred in 1834, a full eleven years before Alexander Cartwright supposedly invented the sport in America.

2) Lopez found no takers from his weary and famished workers. He had to bribe his miners with food. Batters who ended up at third base, were rewarded with a triple-layered sandwich of avocado, tomato, and eggs. This sandwich came to be known simply as a “triple.” The corresponding base hit also became a triple. Now you know.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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When Uranus Was Called George

Yes, from 1781 to 1851 the planet Uranus was really called George. It’s official title was Georgium Sidus, but no one said that. George was discovered by the amateur astronomer William Herschel. Way to go Herschel! King George III rewarded Herschel for his discovery by appointing him Court Astronomer and asking him to move close to the royal family. Herschel, grateful for such recognition, named the new planet Georgium Sidus in honor of his royal patron.

French astronomers did not like the new name, however, as their country had been fighting George III’s for centuries. They proposed calling it “Herschel.” Then in 1851, a bunch of planet namers got together. They noted that all the other planets were named after Greek and Romans gods. They further observed that George, as powerful as he was, was not, in fact, a mythological god. Nothing got past these guys. So they renamed the eighth planet, Uranus.

I rather like the idea of calling a planet, “George.” What would you call Uranus?

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Punish the Printer Makers

People who design printers are the most vile, evil people on this planet. If I had a dollar for every time my printer jammed or I reset my printing preferences and did not have them stick, I would be able to buy, Amazon(tm), Google ™, and Microsoft(tm) and still have money left over to buy all the gold in the world. May they rot in Hell for all eternity. And while in Hell they’d have to . . .

1) Eat nothing but lutefisk

2) Listen to an endless loop of the Barney the Dinosaur(tm) song.

3) Get paper cuts that never heal.

4*) Have the instructions for cooking something be in a foreign language.

5) Sit next to a cholicky baby that smokes and needs a diaper change.

6) Wait in line at the DMV. When they get to the end of the line, the DMV closes for the day. They come back the next day to repeat the process.

7) Gather documents and all information for taxes and assemble that information in a useful way. Every day.

8) Bite into a chocolate-chip cookies to find it really has raisins in it.

9) Ask vegans why they are vegan. If they aren’t vegan, ask them why not.

10) Wake up hungover after drinking nothing but milk the previous day.

11) Type a term paper on a keyboard that’s missing the “e” key. Retype term paper until you get it right.

12) Pet a porcupine the wrong way.

13) Talk to a conspiracy theorist about anything while in line at the DMV.

14) Wait all to attend the grand opening of the latest Star Wars(tm) movie and find out you’re actually really going to a seminar on theoretical economics.

15) Get the eternal sniffles.

16) Lose your place completely in a 171,326 page book.

17) Have someone tell you won that championship game you recorded.

18) Have chapped lips but must smile over and over again.

19) Go shopping, but every aisle is blocked by someone’s shopping cart.

20) Pilot the Ever Given(tm) super tanker through the Suez Canal.

21) Do a crossword puzzle that requires a working knowledge of Sanskrit.

22) To live in a house strewn with Lego(tm) pieces and you have no shoes.

23) Drink curdled milk.

24) Drive behind someone who goes 30 miles under the speed limit.

25) Eat meat served just the way you don’t like it.

There, I feel better now.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Why Editors Are Important – #1, Trump Awards . . .

Whoa, I wouldn’t expect to get much production out of a company that has been given $1.3. Suppose the CEO gets a coffee from the company cafeteria for $1.25. Subtract that from the award of $1.30 and you get a nickel. The company’s research and development department would burn through five cents in particularly no time at all. And then the project would necessarily shut down for lack of funds.

I know, I know, if you read further, the article does say $1.3 B, which makes the shock value of getting nothing in return somewhat greater that it would be for $1.30. Still, that’s what the headline said and it made me smile.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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You Need to See a Smiling Quokka

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quincy Quokka says, “Hi.”

Now, don’t you feel better.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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