Uncategorized

Absolutely Accurate Forecasts of Everything for 2023

The world is a chaotic and often terrifying place. What will happen to us? What should we do? It all seems so unpredictable.

But that simply isn’t so.

Listed below are compelling issues and events, that I follow and know something about, and that really must be prognosticated if we are to facing the buffeting events of our future.

And this is what the experts say:

The Stock Market: It will either go up or down. And they are rather certain of that.

Inflation: It will go up, stay the same, or go down.

Severity of the Coming Recession: It will be hard or mild.

Length of Putin’s War in the Ukraine: It will end soon or drag on.

I could go on, but I don’t want to give everything way.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Advertisement
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Foods to Avoid

I like a lot of different foods. However, I can’t stand the following dishes.

Icky Eats

FOODS TO AVOID

Haggis

Lutefisk
Rocky Mountain oysters
Haggis
Liver and onion
Chef’s surprise – a favorite at my college cafeteria
Any meat mass or cooked veggie that has been in your fridge for more than four days.

What foods do you avoid?

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, observations, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paddle Their Butts, A Loving Poem

I don’t recall how many years I wrote this, in 2008 maybe, but my muse was surely angry.

Paddle Their Butts

AIG lost wellover $100 million.
AIG got $170 billion in bailouts.
AIG gave its top execs $170 million in bonuses.
Paddle their butts.

America is outraged.
We are losing our jobs.
We are losing our homes.
Paddle their butts.

When things well well, they kept it all.
When things went sout, we bailed them out.
Heads they win, tails we bail.
Paddle their butts.

AIG almost brought down the world’s finances.
AIG almost caused a world-wide depression.
The architects of this got paid $170 million.
Paddle their butts.

A good spanking might make future execs
think twice before raping the economy.
You can’t enjoy your riches with a sore bottom.
Paddle their butts.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Oops, I Almost Forgot

I almost forgot to write a post today. Lots of things to think about, not all of them good.

Take care.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

CHDCPI Says American Inflation is Zero Percent

The true inflation gauge

Economists squabble continually over how to measure inflation. Some argue that the Federal Reserve Bank uses inflation indexes that measure inflation as it had been months ago. This is like trying to drive by looking only at the traffic in the rear view mirror. Another bone of contention is what durable goods, foods, etc. to include in an accurate inflation index.

Ideally, we want to include items that everyone in the entire country uses. As exhaustive research shows there is only one such item.

The Costco(tm) hot dog combo.

It’s yummy and everyone buys it. So I am including it, and it alone, in my consumer price index (CPI.) I call my new CPI, the Costco Hot Dog Combo Price Index or CHDCPI.

Astoundingly enough, the CHDCPI demonstrates conclusively that America’s inflation rate has been ZERO percent for the entire year. Wow. Moreover American inflation has been ZERO PERCENT FOR EVERY YEAR since 1985. i

And if for some reason, your household budget stretches less and less every year, then you need to buy only Costco Hot Dog Combos every year. Make the switch and you’ll notice a big difference.

There.

I foresee a Nobel Prize in Economics in my very near future.

And now a sexy table of supporting evidence.

——–Annual               Total
——–Inflation             Inflation
Price   each year            Since 1985
1985   $1.50     0.00%     0.00%
1986   $1.50     0.00%     0.00%
1987   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1988   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1989   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1990   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1991   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1992   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1993   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1994   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1995   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1996   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1997   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1998   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1999   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2000   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2001   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2002   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2003   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2004   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2005   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2006   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2007   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2008   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2009   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2010   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2011   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2012   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2013   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2014   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2015   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2016   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2017   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2018   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2019   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2020   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2021   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2022   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gruntjectives – Adjectives That Have Lost Their Meaning

Please, no more gruntjectives

The following list contains adjectives that once modified a noun in a meaningful way. Now they just mean, “I just want to emphasize a noun. Ya know to show that the noun I’m using is special in some way, ya know.” A good example is the word awesome. Awesome originally meant that something inspired awe. A good example is, “Jesus’ miraculous raising Lazarus from the dead was awesome.” If raising someone from the dead doesn’t fill you with awe, I don’t know what would. However, an awesome burger, an awesome movie, etc. only tell us that you liked something.

You might as well grunt when you want to use an adjective. An example would be, “That was a *grunt* burger.

Here is my list of most hated gruntjectives. I’m thankful that some have passed away. Then new two ones take their place like the on the mythological Hydra.

absolutely
awesome
clearly ambiguous
decimate
edgy
epic
green
groovy
healthy
heroic
historic
iconic – I hate this gruntjective the most. I hate it. I hate it to death. Are no longer any other adectives being used today?
impactful
insane
literally
maverick
miraculous
perfect
rad
random
surreal
unique
viral

What adjectives do you think have lost meaning from overuse? I’d like to know.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Relationship Checklist

You’d be surprised how useful the following checklist can be. Carry multiple copies to hand out to those who would come between you and your one true love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What Would You Like to See in My Blogs?

What would you like to see more of in my blogs?

What would you like to see less of in my blogs?

Today’s therapy was tiring. The bank was nasty to me. So this blog is again short. Sorry

 

– Paul De Lancey

Categories: Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Uncle Sam Wants You to be Civil

Please, please, please, do what he asks.

Uncle Sam #3

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Rain Has Gone

There are misheard lyrics in songs. Then there is misheard punctuation in music,

Deep Thought Man ponders one such punctuation puzzler.

Deep Thought Man #9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: