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Meatball Soup (Sopa de Albóndigas)

Colombian Soup

MEATBALL SOUP
(Sopa de Albóndigas)

INGREDIENTS

2 garlic cloves
1 green onion
¼ cup minced yellow onion
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
¾ pound ground beef
⅓ pound ground pork
½ cup bread crumbs
2 eggs
½ teaspoon cumin
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
6½ cups beef broth
¼ cup fresh cilantro.

Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves, green onion, and yellow onion. Add yellow onion and 2 tablespoons vegetable oil to pan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until yellow onion softens. Add sautéed yellow onion and all other ingredients except beef broth and cilantro to mixing bowl. Use hands to make 16 meatballs. Add beef broth and meatballs to large pot. Bring to boil at medium-high heat. Stir occasionally. Lower heat to medium. Simmer for 20 minutes or until meatballs float and are no longer pink inside. Dice cilantro. Garnish soup with cilantro. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) The four meatballs in the above photo are actual planets and asteroids. The planets are Neptune and Pluto, and X3B-17A way beyond the Solar System. Wasn’t Neptune rather big to fit into a soup bowl? Yes, it was. However, it was gaseous giant, that was condensed into a bowl-sized solid planet. Aren’t these celestial orbs rather heavy? Yes, they are. However, hunger and this soup’s wonderful aroma makes us strong. Life’s been rather unkind to Pluto, hasn’t it? Yes, it has. But it’s been rather sad since it lost its full planetary status and has done nothing but orbit morosely around the Sun ever since. We’re really doing it a kindness by eating it.

2) Won’t people miss seeing all heavenly bodies? No for the asteroids, there are too many to notice. X3B-17A is too far away to see. Certainly, people will notice the disappearance of Neptune, but it takes 4 hours for us light to reach us. That’s plenty of time to make this soup and dispose of the evidence, by eating it, before anyone notices. These meatballs are made mostly out of beef and pork. Does this give credence that the universe is made primarily of beef and pork? Yes, it does.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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The Birth of the Big Bang Theory

 

The Big Bang Theory’s Inspiration

On November 20, 2020, I confirmed the hypothesis of the Big Bang Theory by spilling a bag of tamarind pods onto the kitchen floor. But who came up with the theory in the first place? And how? Well, in 1949, Fred Hoyle accidentally tipped over his unassembled coffee maker. Coffee beans shot out of the maker at an incredible speed. Well, incredible for a tired uncaffeinated soul. A few minutes later, Fred had a cup of Joe in him. His synapses fired at a prodigious rate.

He surveyed the scattered coffee beans. “Yo ho! This is how the universe came into being. It has to be. It just has to.”

He called his theory, “The Scattered Coffee Beans Theory.” His friends thought this to be a mouthful. Fred mulled on it some more and by the time he started giving lectures on BBC radio, he had taken to calling the birth of the universe, “The Big Bang Theory.” His catchy phrase get on. It was a great breakthrough for a great man.

It is sobering to think that I could have been feted as the Father of the Big Bang Theory, if I had only managed to drop my tamarind pods 63 years earlier. On even if Mr. Hoyle had spilled his beans 63 years later. But neither scenario had happened. Hoyle became a scientific hero. I did not. Life is hard.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bad Day

I went to an eye doctor because I’ve been having trouble reading. I found out that one of my eyes wanders when I reading, making doing it hard. I sorta suspected this. Also, it’s likely that my relatively poor fine motor skills all my life could have come from this. Well feck. Oh an I got a ticket from a cop,

– Paul De Lancey

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Iran is Niger, Only Upside Down!

Look at the following map of the world. Notice anything spooky?

 

Iran is Niger upside down. Look, look! Someone copied Niger (ctrl-c), flipped it vertically, and plopped it down (ctrl-v)  between Turkey and Pakistan.

Niger and Iran even have the same color.

Wow.

Proof you cannot deny.

It’s so clear! It’s so clear.

Okay, maybe you’re not convinced.

 

Let’s compare the map of an upside down Niger with that of a right-side up Iran.

Identical. The maps don’t lie

 

So, the boundaries of Iran and flipped Niger are the same. But for my hypothesis to hold, Iranians must be flipped Nigeriens. Is this true? Yes. How do we know. People that are upside down will have a flag that’s turned upside down as well. Is this true? Let’s see.

Upside down Nigerien Flag                            Rightside up Iranian flag

But for the fact that the orange print cartridge on the upside down Nigerien flag deteriorated into red on the Iranian flag and the ink started to run out in spots on the right, the flags are identical. Proof you cannot deny.

There you have it. The land and people of Iran are identical to those of Niger, only upside down. So you only need to visit one of the countries. Remember to stand on your head and walk upside down if you travel to Iran. It is for this reason people usually choose to vacation in Niger.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

 

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Roasted Chestnuts

American Dessert

ROASTED CHESTNUTS

INGREDIENTS

1 pound chestnuts (most of the fresh ones are available in Autumn)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

baking pan

Serves 6. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. While oven preheats, cut an “x” that covers one entire side on each chestnut. Make the cut deep enough to cut through the shell. (This makes the chestnut easy to peel. It also keeps it from exploding. This really can happen if you omit this step.)

Place chestnuts on baking pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 25 minutes or until chestnuts become tender, the chestnut shells start to open and become easy to peel, and the edible nut that’s inside turns golden brown. Remove from heat. Cover with kitchen towel. Let cool for 5 minutes. Peel and eat immediately.

TIDBITS

1) As you can see, the left chestnut in the above photo is unpeeled. It also has an “x” cut into it by a knife. This makes it much easier to peel. The two chestnuts on the right have been peeled and are ready to eat. ☺

2) But wait! This narrative gets even more exciting. ☺☺

3) When prehistoric tribes decided to cut “x”s on chestnuts, they inadvertently developed the game Tic-Tac-Toe. The uncut chestnuts became “zero” or the letter “o.” These doughty cavemen were already two letters on the way to the present English alphabet. Go, cavemen, go! Excelsior!

4) Then one fine summer day caveman Carl La Fong invented the letter “b.” (We know about La Fong because he signed his cave paintings. They’re worth quite a bit if you can discover one.) Ancient peoples could now spell the word “box.”

5 Before you knew it, peoples everywhere had an alphabet and words for everything. Not much later, the word “box” led to actual boxes. CheeriosTM and AmazonTM became possible. And we owe it all to chestnuts and the visionary Carl La Fong. Yay.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Sorry, No Blog Today

No blog today, my back and left ear hurt too much.

 

Paul De Lancey

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National Protest Against Gravity Day

Freedom fighters

Who likes all those laws the government makes us obey?

No one.

Who would like to lose some weight?

Quite a few of us.

What do we need to do?

Repeal the Law of Gravity!

We have too damn many laws to obey, government or physics. Stop telling us what to do.

We weigh too much. If there were no physics, no Law of Gravity, we could eat as much as we want and never gain a pound.

Thank you, Newton.

I know you all are as outraged as I am at gravity. Until our president repeals the law of gravity, we will have to take steps ourselves.

So, I propose that we jump up into the air as high as we can all day long, the protest the Law of Gravity. Today. A National Protest.

Join this protest. Make your voice heard.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Things That Make Me Happy – Tulip Fields

A tulip field is not as spectacular as Mt. Everest, but it has so many beautiful colors while that tall mountain limits itself to white, light gray, and dark gray. (If you want to see 50 shades of gray without the kinky stuff, go to the Himalayas.)

Oh, the temperatures around tulip fields are quite often much higher than on Mt. Everest. They’re safer, too.

Thanks be to God for the beautiful tulip. Thanks be to the workers who plant and tend to the tulips. Thank you, dear reader, for reading my blogs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Fantastic Pizza at Carl La Fong’s Italian Pizzeria

Quick, what are the most beloved foods in America?

Why, they’re pizzas, tacos, and hamburgers.

What’s the only thing wrong with pizzas, tacos, and hamburgers?

You can’t have them all in one entree. If only there were an authentic Italian Pizzeria that had taco and hamburger toppings. Not just some hamburger meat, taco meat, some onions, cheese, and Mexican spices. No! We all want, we all crave, a pizza topped with entire tacos and entire hamburgers. But where, oh where, is their such a culinary heaven?

This dining bliss is found at Carl La Fong’s Italian Pizzeria. Order the Mammoth Pepperoni Taco Hamburger pizza. After just one slice you will be the happiest you’ve ever been while dining. So go down the Carl La Fong’s Italian Pizzeria. You’ll never want to dine anywhere else ever again.

The 32″ Mammoth Pepperoni Taco Hamburger Pizza

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Carl La Fong, cuisine, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Little Me and Brother Wish You a Merry Christmas

Early wishing of Merry Christmas to you. I just found this picture my mother made. It was part of a postcard that she sent to family and friends. I’m on the left. My brother is on the right. I was 2.5 years old and he was 4.5. I contributed the pencil-line art work.

According to the writing on the back, “Paul is in nursery school Tues. morning and is just delighted with it. His first love is trains, however.”

There you go. And may you go into a Merry Christmas, a happy holiday season,  and pleasant and fulfilling new year.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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