Posts Tagged With: bees

German Bee Sting Cake (Bienenstich Kuchen)

German Dessert

BEE STING CAKE
(Bienenstich Kuchen)

INGREDIENTS – ALMOND TOPPING

½ cup butter (6 tablespoons more later)
5 tablespoons sugar (3 tablespoons more later)
1 tablespoon honey
1½ tablespoons heavy whipping cream (½ cup more later)
1⅓ cup slivered almonds
½ teaspoon vanilla extract

INGREDIENTS – CAKE

2¾ teaspoons yeast
2⅔ cups flour
5 tablespoons butter (1 tablespoon more later)
3 tablespoons sugar
⅔ cup milk, lukewarm (2 cups more later)
1 egg
¼ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon butter
parchment paper

INGREDIENTS – FILLING

6 tablespoons vanilla pudding powder
1 cup milk
½ cup heavy whipping cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (½ teaspoon more later)

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric beater
8″ * 12″ baking pan
parchment paper

Serves 16. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION – ALMOND TOPPING

Add ½ cup butter to pot. Melt butter using low-medium heat. Stir gently and frequently. Add 5 tablespoons sugar and honey. Stir constantly until sugar melts and liquid is well blended. Add 1½ tablespoons heavy whipping cream and ½ teaspoon vanilla extract. Stir with spatula until well blended. Remove from heat. Fold in slivered almonds. Just before cake is ready to be bake, use low heat to make topping lukewarm and spreadable.

PREPARATION – CAKE

Add all cake ingredients except 1 tablespoon butter to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Knead for 15 minutes or until mix becomes a smooth and pliable dough. Remove dough. Grease mixing bowl with 1 tablespoon butter. Return dough ball to mixing bowl. Cover with cloth and let rise for 1 hour or until dough doubles in size. 15 minutes before dough has finished rising, preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cover baking pan with parchment paper. Add dough to baking pan. Smooth dough until it is level. Use spatula to spread almond topping over dough. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees or until cake turns golden brown and a toothpick inserted into middle of cake comes out clean. Remove from heat and let cool for10 minutes. Grab opposite sides of parchment paper, remove cake, and place on serving plate.

Let cool for another 15 minutes. Cut cake into 16 rectangles, 2″ * 3″. Use serrated knife to cut each rectangle lengthwise into 2 thin layers.

PREPARATION – FILLING

While cake cools, add pudding powder 1 cup milk and ½ cup heavy whipping cream to mixing bowl. (Prepare according to instructions on package.) Cover with plastic wrap and chill in refrigerator for 1 hour.

PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY

After filling has chilled, use spatula to carefully spread equal amounts of filling on bottom half of the cake rectangles. (The ones without the slivered-almond topping.) Place cake rectangles with slivered-almond topping on rectangles covered with filling.

A forgotten episode from the Great War

TIDBITS

1) World War I was mostly a static affair as it became incredibly difficult to dislodge the enemy infantry defending their trenches.

2) Then a German beekeeping general thought, why not use bees? After all, everyone flees bees.

3) So, on March 13, 1915 the Germans sent boys and girls carrying this cake to the British lines. The Tommies loved this dessert. So did the bees. The bees dive bombed the British soldiers who fled en masse. The Germans were on the verge of total victory. Then the wind shifted toward the German lines. Countless soldiers on both sides suffered repeated stings. The Great Bee Sting Truce was agreed upon and lasted for two weeks. After that, Bee Sting Cake got banned as a weapon of war.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Wanda Wunder Wonders About Bees

I don’t know. Do you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Comfort Rocks Banned on Airlines

Banned Comfort Companions

It was bound to happen. Today, all the major airlines banned the use of rocks as comfort companions.

“It was getting out of hand,” said Carl LaFong, CEO of Duluth Airlines. “First it was comfort dogs, then comfort cats–boy did they hide everywhere. Then it was comfort mice–boy oh boy, didn’t they cause a lot of shrieking. Then it was a comfort rhino. It caused an incident the very first time onboard. We had to ban them all.”

“Then about a month ago, Farine du Ble, traveling from Duluth to Paris, brought a painted rock onboard. She held it in her hand, turning it over and over. The passenger in the middle, Amos Keeto, said a rock companion was stupid. Ms. du Ble took offense and hit Mr. Keeto in the head with it. We had make an emergency landing in Gary, Indiana of all places. Comfort rocks are now banned.”

Indeed the Airline Safety Council took preemptive action and banned the following pets from comfort companionship:

ants
bats
bees
crocodiles (they mess the passenger count)
giraffes (not even if you can put them in the overhead bins)
lutefisk (not even a creature, still don’t try it)
snails

Additional pets may be added as needed.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., travel guru

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Principles and Stuff

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My fellow humans,

What with the Cubs quite possibly heading to the World Series for the first time since 1945, news about Bacon & Chocolate Party has been crowded. People starved for a real political party are asking, “What ever happened to the great Bacon & Chocolate Party?” and “What do they believe in?” Ok, here’s the scoop.

1) Bacon & Chocolate Party is on the ballot in all but fifty states and the District of Columbia.

2)) B&C is within 50% of the votes of winning every state’s and DC’s electoral votes.

3) B&C is corruption proof. We have accepted no contributions from any special interest or lobbyist.

4) Or lobbist, i.e., a professional tennis player.

5) B&C’s presidential candidate, Paul R. De Lancey, is amazing. The vice-presidential candidate, Candace C. Bowen, is crackerjack, too.

6) We believe in the tastiness and healing properties of bacon and chocolate.

7) Save our bees.

8) We believe much of the deadlock in D.C. is due to the rancor between the political parties.

9) We will enforce mandatory nap time every time cranky Congress fails to legislate anything.

10) We will take massive national polls on everything. Those issues getting the highest percentage of yeses will get passed.

11) Ms. Bowen and I and the B&C cabinet will take frequent naps as well. We don’t like getting cranky either.

12) We’ll have great big, super tasty barbecues every week on the White House lawn. One guests, picked randomly from all Americans, will attend these food fests.

13) Anything that adversely affects our bees and our bacon and chocolate supplies will be dealt with.

14) Funding for Paul’s Flying Squirrel Squadron will be increased. It does wonderful work protecting this great nation.

15) And stuff.

Presidential candidate Paul R. De Lancey

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

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Dutch Apple Pie

Dutch Dessert

APPLE PIE

INGREDIENTS – CRUSTApplePie-

¾ cup butter (another 6 tablespoons later)
1½ cups flour (another 1 cup later)
2 tablespoons brown sugar (another ¼ cup later)
¼ teaspoon salt

INGREDIENTS – FILLING

5 Granny Smith or green apples
3 tablespoons cornstarch
⅓ cup sugar (another ¼ cup later)
½ cup water
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup heavy cream

INGREDIENTS – TOPPING

1 cup flour
¼ cup sugar
¼ cup brown sugar
6 tablespoons butter

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ pie plate

PREPARATION – CRUST

Melt ¾ cup butter. Add 1½ cups flour, brown sugar, ¾ cup melted butter, and salt to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended and mixture becomes a big ball. Press mixture into pie plate.

PREPARATION – FILLING

Peel and dice apples. Add cornstarch, ⅓ cup sugar, water, cinnamon, and nutmeg to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until smooth. Add mixture to saucepan. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Cook for 2 minutes or until mixture thickens. Stir constantly. Remove mixture from heat. Add apples and vanilla extract. Stir with whisk. Pour filling into crust. Preheat oven to 360 degrees.
PREPARATION – TOPPING

Add 1 cup flour, ¼ cup sugar, ¼ cup brown sugar, and 6 tablespoons butter to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Crumble topping mixture over filling. Bake at 360 degrees for 40-to-50 minutes or until topping turns golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) The Spanish Inquisition sentenced the entire Dutch population to death in 1568. Tough love, you bet.

2) Or maybe the Spanish Inquisition was just really, really tough on scofflaws.

3) The Dutch give free heroin three time a day to addicts.

4) Contrast the Dutch government’s attitude to heroin addicts versus that of the Spanish Inquisition to the entire Dutch population. The Dutch policy actually resulted in lower rates of heroin addiction while the Spanish policy resulted in a bloody 80-year war with the Dutch

5) If life gives you heroin, make …

6) No, that slogan doesn’t work.

7) If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

8) If life gives you rotten lemons, make rotten lemonade.

9) If life gives you lemons, keep them, well, because they’re free.

10) If life gives your proctologist lemons, reschedule your appointment.

11) If life is dyslexic, it will give you melons.

12) If life gives you lemons, 4 chicken breasts, 1 teaspoon salt, 1¼ cups plain yogurt, ½ onion, 2 garlic cloves, 1 tablespoon garam masala, 1 teaspoon cayenne, ½ teaspoon coriander, 1 teaspoon paprika, and 1 small tomato, make Chicken Tandoori.

13) If life give you Le Mans, go to the race there.

14) If life give you Lenin, emigrate.

15) If life gives you Lennon, “Let It Be.”

16) Bees like lemon blossoms.

17) So life gives us all critters lemons. It’s not just a humano, new word, centric thing.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Press Release

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Platform

The country is in danger. The gravitational field has gone wonky. The price of bacon and chocolate has risen. Americans everywhere, at least three, cry out for the Bacon & Chocolate Party to save the day. The B&C has developed a nascent social consciousness. Like a phoenix, the nearly dormant Bacon & Chocolate Party will arise from the ashes of its bitter and disputed defeat in the elections of 2012. What does B&C stand for? As far as I can tell our platform is:

1: We promote and enjoy bacon.fudge
2: We promote and enjoy chocolate.
3: We will save our bees.
4: We sick Ms. Elizabeth Warren on the banks while we much on bacon-wrapped shrimp and chocolate doughnuts.
5. We will find a way to make chocolate downloadable over the internet.
6. Frugality, frugality, frugality. Our campaign chest of $0.00 makes us forgo all tactics costing a penny or more.
7. Our first point, okay, seventh point, is to first do name harm, especially if we have bacon-wrapped shrimp or chocolate doughnuts to divert from the current issues.

Note: the fourth point assumes Ms. Warren will be a part of Bacon & Chocolate’s team when it sweeps to victory in November, 2016. Would someone who knows her please ask her to join our party? Thanks. We’re kinda shy.

Paul R. De Lancey – Presidential Candidate
Candace C. Bowen – Vice-Presidential Candidate
Jonna Pattillo – Political advisor

Visit our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty

– El Candidato Paul4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Arepas, Venezuelan Griddle Cakes

Venezuelan Entree

AREPAS
(griddle cakes)

INGREDIENTSArepas-

2 cups masa harina (or masarepa or white cornmeal)
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups warm water
1 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil (or more as needed)
no-stick cooking spray
1 cup queso blanco (or mozzarella)
no-stick spray

Maybe a bit more masa harina or water depending on the dough.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

baking sheet

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine masa harina and salt in large mixing bowl. Add warm water. Mix with spoon. If dough is dry, add a bit more water. If dough is wet, add a bit more masa harina. Dough should be easy to handle and not stick to your hands. Let dough sit for 10-to-15 minutes.

Divide dough into 16 equally big balls. Flatten balls with your fingers, making dough circles about 1/2″ thick. and 2″ across. Add vegetable oil to skillet. Add about 4 dough circles, arepas, to skillet. Cook arepas on medium heat for 3-to-5 minutes on each side until they just begin to brown and blister. Repeat for all arepas.

Remove and open arepas. Slice open arepas and fill them with 1 tablespoon queso blanco. Close arepas. Spray baking sheet with no-stick cooking spray. Put sheet with arepas in oven. Bake arepas at 350 degrees for 10-to-15 minutes or until they puff up or turn golden brown. Remove from oven.

Diced green chiles also taste great inside an arepa. Be adventuresome with the fillings.

TIDBITS

1) In September, 2013, I ran for the position of El Presidente of Venezuela. My running mate was the talented author, Candace C. Bowen.

3) Oh, Bacon & Chocolate Party lost badly in Venezuela. We suspect massive bribes to the electoral commission by the winning candidate. An alternative explanation is that our tactic of campaigning to non-Venezuelans was flawed. Moreover, our campaign chest of $0.00 often proved a hindrance to effective electioneering.

4) We are sadder, but wiser politicians. This experience will help us when we run for president and vice president of the United States of America in 2016.

5) Bacon & Chocolate Party, https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty, strives to promote prosperity and world peace by ensuring plentiful and affordable supplies of bacon and chocolate. We are against GMO foods and are friends of the bees.

6) Okay, we are not great friends of killer bees. In fact, we generally run away from them.

7) Whatever happened to the big killer-bee scare of a few decades ago? Did they get lost? Did they have trouble entering a destination into their bee-sized GPS units and turned around and headed by mistake to frigid Tierra del Fuego at the tip of South America?

8) This seems a mite far fetched. They probably mated with contented bees to produce a new strain of irritable bees. Cranky bees sure, but not angry to kill anyone.

9) I get cranky when I don’t get enough sleep. Do you think bees sting people because they are cranky from a lack of sleep as well? Maybe their sleep is so light that they skip their dream cycles. Maybe we should put machines that play soothing music near their hives.

10) I see a Nobel Prize for Agriculture in my future.

11) What do bees dream about? They’re not telling us.

12) Dream, Dream, Dream was a great song by the Everly Brothers.

13) The Aaron Brothers played Major League Baseball. Hank Aaron hit 755 home runs. His brother Tommie hit 13. The Everly Brothers hit zero Major-League home runs and none in the minors leagues for the that matter. However, the Everly Brothers had many more hit songs than the Aarons.

14) Hank Aaron did have a candy bar named after him. Advantage Aaron brothers.

15) Most brothers enjoy honey. Honey is made by bees. Bacon & Chocolate Party looks out for the welfare of bees.

16) Bacon & Chocolate, promoting brotherly love since 2013.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: international, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Press Release

Without any real effort on our own the B&C has developed a nascent social consciousness. As far as I can tell our platform is:

1: We promote and enjoy bacon.fudge
2: We promote and enjoy chocolate.
3: We will save our bees.
4: We sick Ms. Elizabeth Warren on the banks.
5. We will not monitor your phone records. Heck, we hardly look at our own. Who can understand them?

Note: the fourth point assumes Ms. Warren will be a part of Bacon & Chocolate’s team when it sweeps to victory in November, 2016. Would someone who knows her please ask her to join our party? Thanks. We’re kinda shy.

Paul R. De Lancey – Presidential Candidate
Candace C. Bowen – Vice-Presidential Candidate
Jonna Pattillo – Political advisor

Visit our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Banana Peanut-Butter Honey Milkshake

American Dessert

BANANA PEANUT-BUTTER HONEY MILKSHAKE

INGREDIENTSBaPeBuMilk-

3 bananas (best when ripe)
2 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
1/2 tablespoon honey

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Peel the bananas. Put bananas, milk,  peanut butter, and honey in blender. Use “milkshake” setting. Blend until shake is sufficiently smooth for your taste.

This tasty milkshake is a diet buster.

TIDBITS

1) Bees must visit two-million flowers to make one pound of honey. The average worker bee makes 1/12 teaspoon in her lifetime. Bees need to unionize for better working conditions.

2) A 15,000-year-old cave painting shows a human stealing honey from a hive. Oh sure, the little bee visits fifty-five millions flowers in her lifetime and then it’s gone. Honestly, it’s enough to make a grown bee cry.

3) Can bees cry?

4) Honey bees do have five eyes.

5) This makes their going to the optometrist a major event, especially as their command of even the simplest human languages is rather limited.

6) This linguistic deficiency often leads to tragedy. The optometrist doesn’t understand the bee’s buzzing. The bee interprets this incomprehension as an aggressive act.

7) The enraged bee stings the optometrist. The optometrist’s face swells up. The optometrist goes to the hospital. The bee dies.

8) No specialized glasses get sold. News of this leaks to Wall Street. The stock market plunges. Economies collapse. Money becomes worthless. And have you stocked up on toilet paper?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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