humor

Libyan Imthawoma (potatoes in spicy sauce) Recipe

Posted on May 17, 2013 by pauldelancey

Libyan Entree

IMTHAWOMA
(Potatoes in spicy sauce)

INGREDIENTSImthawoma-

8 red potatoes
1 tomato
8 garlic cloves
1 stick butter
2 1/2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon turmeric

INITIAL PREPARATION

Start boiling water. Peel potatoes. Puree tomatoes.. Mince garlic. Add potatoes to boiling water. Boil for about 20 minutes or until potatoes are soft.

GHEE PREPARATION

While potatoes are boiling, put butter in small sauce pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Do not cover the pan. After butter has melted and starts to foam reduce heat to low and simmer for about 15 minutes. Do not stir. (This goes counter to many cooking instincts. Resist. You can do it.) It’s ready when:

1) Someone yells, “It’s ready.”

2) A light tan crust forms on the mostly still surface.

3) The butter stops bubbling.

4) Starts to smell like popcorn.

Pour the melted butter through a colander into bowl. Discard solids left in colander. The liquid in the bowl is your ghee. You are now a ghee whiz.

FINAL PREPARATION

Put ghee back in sauce pan. Add garlic, cumin, paprika, salt, and turmeric. Sauté at medium high heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Add tomato puree. Cook on medium heat for 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Put potatoes in sauce pan. Turn potatoes over until they are well coated with the spicy ghee. Simmer on low heat for 5 minutes, occasionally stirring the sauce and turning the potatoes. Serve and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) I keep forgetting how to spell “colander.”

2) I have no problem is chrysanthemum, antediluvian, or even phthalein. I can’t remember the last word’s meaning, though.

3) When my older son was one-to-two years old, he convinced himself that I couldn’t drive without his help. He’d say, “Green means go” or “red means stop.”

4) I miss those days.

5) And doesn’t “Imthawoma” look a lot like “I’m the woman?”

6) With observations like that, it’s no wonder my son wanted to help me do things.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tales of Culinary Weirdness:Why We Need Sandwich Police

Posted on May 16, 2013 by pauldelancey

I write a lot of fiction but sometimes I have to take my hat off to life. Click on  http://www1.whdh.com/news/articles/local/south/10010615198552/police-assault-prompted-by-too-many-pickles/
to see more about the woman who went beserk over pickles in her sandwich. She’s gonna be famous.

pickles

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jamaican Curried Chicken

Posted on May 15, 2013 by pauldelancey

Jamaican Entree

CURRIED CHICKEN

INGREDIENTSCurryCh-

2 chicken breasts
1 medium potato
1 red bell pepper
3 garlic cloves
2 stalks green onion
1 large onion
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 cup chicken broth
1/4 teaspoon celery seed
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1 1/2 tablespoons Jamaican curry powder
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/4 teaspoon turmeric

PREPARATION

Cut chicken and potato into 1/2″ cubes. Removes seeds from red bell pepper. Mince bell pepper, garlic, green onion, and onion. Add vegetable oil, bell pepper, garlic, green onion, and onion to frying pan. Sauté at medium-high heat or until onions are tender.

Add chicken cubes, potato cubes, broth, celery seed, curry powder, pepper, thyme, and turmeric. Cook with lid off on low-medium heat for about 20 minutes or until potato bits are tender. Stir occasionally. Serve to your new best friends.

TIDBITS

1) Curry, while a tasty spice blend, is not a particularly fun spice despite what the “Fun Facts About Curry” would have you believe.

2) Tim Curry, however, is much more interesting. He starred in the cult classic movie, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. He auditioned for the role by singing, “Tutti Frutti.” He had a dog named Frank.

3) One of the biggest movie flops of all times was the movie Ishtar. Ishtar is an anagram for “Hi, rats.”

4) “O,” “A,” and “I” are the shortest palindromes in the English language.

5) “ ” is the shortest palindrome spoken by mimes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sandwich Police And A Police Car With Doughnut Tires

Posted on May 14, 2013 by pauldelancey

sandwichPolice

 

From the town of Sandwich, Massachusetts. This photo really made my day.

“But officer, I wasn’t speeding!”
“That’s not why I’m pulling you over. You’re eating a peanut-butter and prosciutto sandwich.”

 

And there’s a deli in Sandwich called The Deli. It has been claimed they have the best sandwiches in the state.

police-car-with-donut-wheels

 

 

This is a funny photo. I wish I could track down the story on this one. Police with a sense of humor? A conversion of a one-time police car? Owned by a doughnut shop?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fajita Bowls Recipe

Posted on May 13, 2013 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

FAJITA BOWLS

INGREDIENTSFajiBowl-

7 small flour tortillas
4 chicken breasts
3 garlic cloves
1 medium yellow onion
1 green bell pepper
2 orange bell peppers
1 red bell pepper
4 tablespoons vegetable oil
4 teaspoons lime juice
1/4 teaspoon TabascoTM sauce
1 teaspoon red chili powder
1 1/2 teaspoons cumin
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
2 cups lettuce
1/2 cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses
salsa (optional)

UTENSILS

Muffin tin or 8″ casserole dish
A lazy Susan, about 24 inches across, if you can find one.
toothpicks

PREPARATION – BOWL METHOD – 1

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Turn muffin tin upside down. Gently push flour tortilla down between 3 upside-down cups. Do this 2 more times. Put muffin tin with tortillas in oven. Bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes or until tortilla bowls become crispy. Way cool, huh? See below picture.

TortBowl1-

PREPARATION – BOWL METHOD – 2

Put a tortilla in each corner of the casserole dish. Fold up sides of all 4 tortillas so that they form 4 bowls. Put a toothpick in one tortilla and in another tortilla wherever they come together. Bake at 375 for 20 minutes or until tortilla bowls become crispy. Also cool. See below picture.

TortBowl2-

PREPARATION OF FIXINGS

Make spice mix by whisking together in small bowl: chili powder, cumin, coriander, poultry spice and TabascoTM sauce. Cut chicken into strip 1/2″ wide and 2″ long. Add 1/3 of spice mix to chicken. Mix until chicken is coated with spice.
Use food processor to mince garlic cloves. Use knife to slice the onion into rings. Then cut rings into fourths. Combine 1/3 of spice mix with garlic and onion.

Use knife to slice the bell peppers into rings. Then cut rings into fourths. Combine 1/3 of spice mix with bell peppers.

Pour vegetable oil and lime juice into no-stick frying pan. Sauté on medium-high heat 3 times . Put each sautéed mix in its own bowl, leaving oil and lime juice in pan. 1) Sauté garlic and onion. 2) Sauté green bell pepper, orange bell pepper, and red bell pepper.. 3) Sauté chicken strips. Put bowls on lazy Susan, again if you have one. Add more vegetable oil and lime juice if you run out while sautéing all the ingredients.

Shred lettuce. Put lettuce and cheese in bowls on lazy Susan. Male a fajita bowl by filling tortilla bowl with: chicken, onion/garlic, bell pepper, lettuce, and cheese. Arriba. (Could you tell I italicized the period at the end of the last sentence?)

TIDBITS

1) It is doubtful there ever was a real lazy Susan.

2) To clear the good name of Susan, here is a list of famous Susan singers: Susan from Iran, Susan from Japan–Is having a last name so hard?–Susan Boyle, Susan McFadden, Suzi Quatro–Okay a variation on Susan but I remember listening to her in college so there–

3) Famous Susan actresses: Susan Cookson, Susan Hampshire–I remember watching her watching her in a Masterpiece Theater series during college. You rocked, Ms. Hampshire–Susan Dey, Susan Littler, Susan Lucci, Susan Oliver, Susan Sarandon–star of the cult classic Rocky Horror Picture Show–and Susan St. James.

4) Famous Susan authors: Susan Cheever, Susan Isaacs, Susan Sontag–I have a book of hers sitting on my bookshelf–and Susan Fromberg Schaeffer.

5) Famous dog of the current British Queen: Susan.

6) Famous Susan mass murderers: None.

7) Famous Susan dictators: None.

8) See? Susans are nice. I can personally vouch for the niceness of every Susan I’ve met.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tunisian Maacouda Bil Batata (potato omelette)

Posted on May 12, 2013 by pauldelancey

Tunisian Entree

MAACOUDA BIL BATATA
(Potato Omelette)

INGREDIENTSMaacouda-

1 pound potatoes
1 onion
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons olive oil
5 eggs
1 teaspoon harissa (See harissa recipe)
5 tablespoons cilantro
1/2 teaspoon coriander
6 tablespoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSIL

casserole dish
no-stick spray

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Slice potatoes into fourths. Gently put potato bits in pot of boiling water. Boil for about 20 or until potatoes are tender. Drain water from pot. Mash potatoes with a potato masher or fork.

While potatoes are cooking, dice onion and garlic. Put onion, garlic, and olive oil in frying pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onions are tender. Remove from heat. While potato bits are still cooking, put eggs, harissa, cilantro, coriander, parsley and salt in mixing bowl. Mix ingredients with whisk or fork..

Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Add eggs/spice mix , mashed potatoes, sautéed onions and garlic to casserole dish. Mix with whisk or fork.. Put casserole dish in oven and bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown. (If chefs couldn’t use the phrase “golden brown” there wouldn’t be any cookbooks.)

TIDBITS

1) Cilantro seeds are called coriander. I never knew that. I took Economics in college and in graduate and not once did they say anything about this important bit of knowledge.

2) The ancient Egyptians believed their loved ones ate cilantro after they died.

3) Proper spicing is always important, even in the afterworld.

4) Cilantro solve all sorts of digestive problems. Enough said.

5) Oh dear, I’ve written myself into a corner.

6) Bye.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tunisian Harissa Recipe

Posted on May 11, 2013 by pauldelancey

Tunisian Appetizer

HARISSA

Harissa-

INGREDIENTS

12 dried chile de arbol peppers or milder red chile peppers
4 garlic cloves
3/4 teaspoon caraway seeds
3/4 teaspoon coriander
3/4 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon lemon juice
2 tablespoons olive oil

PREPARATION

Remove stems and seeds from peppers. (Always, always wash hands after handling chile peppers.) Put peppers in bowl of hot water. (This softens and relaxes the peppers.) Remove peppers after 30 minutes. Mince peppers and garlic cloves. Combine all ingredients in bowl.

Store in refrigerator for up to one month. This is one tough condiment.

TIDBITS

1) Caraway seeds reduce flatulence.

2) Moving quickly on, the word Tunisia comes from Tunis, the country’s capital, not the fish, tuna.

3) It’s a fact, Germany was never called Hamburgeria after its import port city of Hamburg.

4) The burg Hamburg is not named after ham. Ham is an English word. Hamburg is still in Germany and is likely to remain that way.

5) Unless of course, the movement of the Earth’s plates increase to such a phenomenal pace that Hamburg ends up being next to Boston sometime by press time for this book.

6) I would like to point out that if the Earth’s plates do move that fast there will be immense worldwide devastation. Book signings will be difficult to schedule.

7) Surfers though would have a great time. Those fast moving continents would generate tons of primo waves. Cowabunga, dude.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spinach Stew From Central Africa

Posted on May 10, 2013 by pauldelancey

Central African Entree

SPINACH STEW

INGREDIENTSSpinStw-

3 small tomatoes
1 1/2 pounds fresh spinach (not that horrible frozen type)
1 1/2 medium yellow onions
1 green bell pepper
2 chile peppers
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup water

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel tomatoes. Chop or dice spinach. Dice tomatoes, onions, bell pepper, and chile peppers. (For goodness sakes, wash your hands thoroughly before touching your face. If not, well it’s a mistake you’ll only make once.) Put tomatoes and onions in frying pan. Add vegetable oil. Sauté at medium-high heat until onion becomes tender.

Transfer sautéed onions and tomatoes to soup pot. Add bell pepper, chile pepper, spinach, cayenne pepper, coriander, salt, peanut butter, and water. Simmer on low heat for 15 minutes. Stir stew frequently enough to thoroughly blend in peanut butter and to prevent stew from burning.

Serve as is in bowl or atop a bed of rice.

TIDBITS

1) The Central African Republic is well named. The country is a republic and is in the center of Africa.

2) Greenland is not green, however. It’s rather icy. Which is great if you continually want a handy supply of ice for your Roy Rogers or Shirley Temples sodas, but not so good if you want to raise cattle, à la the television show, Rawhide.

3) It’s doubtful Roy Rogers or Shirley Temple visited Greenland. I’d like to visit but then again I’m not Shirley Temple or Roy Rogers.

4) The Vikings were the first Europeans to discover Greenland. Norse real estate agents named it that way to encourage new settlers to come there. The part about ocean view properties was indeed true, though.

5) And did you know that the vast percentage of the world’s landlocked countries, including the Central African Republic, do not have any McDonald’s?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Moroccan Spiced Lentils Recipe

Posted on May 9, 2013 by pauldelancey

Moroccan Soup

SPICED LENTILS

INGREDIENTSSpiceLe-

1 1/3 cups red lentils
2 1/2 cups vegetable broth
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 tablespoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon turmeric

2 onions
1 tablespoon butter
2 small tomatoes

PREPARATION

Put lentils and broth in pot. Add cayenne, coriander, cumin, ginger, pepper, salt, and turmeric. Soak for 4 hours. Lentils should be split. (Hey, if you want some to leave slowly, you could say, “Make like a lentil and split.”)

While the lentils soak, go outside and pull weeds. When you come back, dice your onions and tomatoes. After your lentils have been sufficiently soaked (and how often does that phrase come up in normal conversation?) add onion and butter to pan. Sauté the onions on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until the onions are tender. (Love me tender, love me true.)

Put onions and tomatoes in pot. Bring soup to boil. Turn heat down to low and simmer for 30-to-60 minutes or until lentils are tender. Serve to adoring family or guests who are about to go Morocco mad.

TIDBITS

1) You know, if I had a time machine this tidbit would have already been written.

2) Or maybe I’d use my time machine to always go back to the moment all my clothes were clean. I’d never have to do laundry again.

3) I think I’d go back to the moment when that Viking, Haarald, was about to invent lutefisk and give him a crunchy-shell taco. The culinary world would have been better off.

4) Oh, and the rest of the too. Eating lutefisk was the main reason the Norsemen assaulted England and continental Europe for centuries. I mean who wouldn’t feel like killing and pillaging after eating lutefisk?

5) Fortunately, the Vikings eventually came into contact with Moroccans in Spain. While bad for the inhabitants who had to suffer through countless battles to-ing and fro-ing across their backyards, it was a positive boon to the rest of Europe.

6) For once the fierce Norsemen discovered the spices of Morocco, they could preserve their food. They didn’t have to soak their fish in lye, a poison, to preserve it. They could even make Berbere shish kabobs. This made them very happy.

7) And the raids of the Scandanavian beserkers ended. Well okay not right away, but they did tail off.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Roti, Guyanese Flatbread Recipe

Posted on May 8, 2013 by pauldelancey

Guyanese Entree

ROTI
(flatbread)

INGREDIENTSRoti-

2 cups and more flour (don’t put it away)
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
3/4 cups water
up to 1 cup vegetable oil (don’t put it away)

SPECIALTY ITEM

electric skillet

PREPARATION

Combine 2 cups flour, baking powder, salt, and water in mixing bowl. The amount of water added should be enough to make a fairly firm dough, so a bit more or less water maybe needed.

Sprinkle plate or board with flour. Divide dough into six lumps. Put a lump on board. Dust rolling pin with flour. Roll out dough until it is a circle 8″ across . Put 1 teaspoon on dough. Smooth the oil so it covers the entire circle. Sprinkle 1/2 teaspoon flour uniformly over dough or roti. Fold in corners of roti. Shape roti into a ball. Keep board and rolling pin dusted with flour as you repeat this process for 5 move rotis.

Let rotis stand for 30 minutes while you straighten out the world or sip on a nice, cold Roy Rogers soda.

Set heat on electric skillet to 350 degrees. Put 2 tablespoons oil in skillet. Flatten a roti by hand and put it in skillet. Cook the flatbread, roti, for 3 minutes or until both sides are starting to turn light brown. Turn roti over frequently, at least once every 20-to-30 seconds. Repeat for the other 5 rotis. Add enough oil to the skillet to maintain 2 tablespoons for each roti.

Mango chutney, see recipe, goes great with roti.

TIDBITS

1) Flatbread is flat.

2) The Earth is not flat. It is round.

3) Round, Earth, round.

4) Round in the morning, round at night.

5) In 1492, Columbus sailed west. Flat Earthers took fright.

6) Ooh yes, scary, scary.

7) And now in a seamless transition to more complex sentences, most people in 1492 thought the Earth to be round.

8) The flat-earth myth became popular with the1828 publication, Washington Irving’s imaginative, A History of the Life and Voyages of Christopher Columbus.

9) Hundreds of thousands of American school kids have written essays about Christopher Columbus that have been wrong. All because of Washington Irving.

10) Someone should go back in time and send Mr. Irving to the principal’s office.

11) It’s a good thing, though, the world is not flat. What if you were playing soccer and someone kicked the soccer ball over the edge of the Earth and the soccer ball was gone for ever and no one had another soccer ball?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.