(Spicy Fried Tuna)
1 small onion
5 garlic cloves
4 curry leaves or 2 tablespoons curry powder
2½ teaspoons peppercorns
2 teaspoons red pepper flakes
½ teaspoon salt
1½ pounds tuna steaks
½ cup vegetable oil
Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.
Add onion, garlic cloves, curry leaves, peppercorns, red pepper flakes, and salt to blender. Blend on medium until you get a smooth paste. Add tuna and smooth paste to large mixing bowl. Turn tuna steaks until they are well ll coated. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 30 minutes.
Add oil. Heat oil on medium-high heat. It will hot enough when a pepper flake put in the oil starts to dance. Carefully add tuna steaks to pan. (Tilt pan away from you as you do so.) Sauté at medium-high heat for 3 minutes on each side or until steaks become crispy and turn golden brown.
Cut lemon into as many slices as there are tuna steaks. Add a lemon slice next to each steak.
1) Tuna is an anagram for nut. Tuna love nuts, especially the macadamia nut. “Macadamia nut” is an anagram for “Dam’ manic nut..” Tuna who taste macadamia develop an instant addiction. Fortunately, macadamia nuts are rarely found in the ocean. But they are found in the waters where cruise ships travel. Unthinking passengers adore the tuna who, desperate for a fix, perform all sorts of acrobatic and aquatic tricks.
2) Then the cruise ships move on, leaving in their wake desperate, addicted schools of tuna. Some places there get vicious, particularly where the amphibious variety of tuna abounds. In Macadamia Grove, Australia, gangs of crazed tuna thrash through the town to stampede the macadamia groves. They eat every single nut they can find and if their fix isn’t satisfied, they come back to assault the stores. People flee in terror; there’s nothing more vicious than a strung-out tuna. The townsfolk shake their fists at the tuna. “Dam’ manic nuts.”
3) This sad event happens to Macadamia Grove repeatedly. Its people are planning to leave their childhood homes for good and become a tribe of wandering mimes. Please don’t let this happen. Obey the signs that read, “Don’t feed the dolphins.” Thank you.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.