Posts Tagged With: ancient Egyptians

Beer Pizza Crust

Italian Entree

BEER PIZZA CRUST

INGREDIENTSPizzaCr-

2 cups all-purpose flour
¼ cup beer
½ cup water
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
½ teaspoon sugar
½ teaspoon salt
1¾ teaspoons active dry yeast
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

bread maker
16″ pizza pan

Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add flour, beer, water, oil, sugar, salt, and yeast to the bread maker. Do not put the yeast directly on top of the salt. Salt is bad for yeast and yeast makes the dough rise. “Ask not what your yeast can do for you. Ask what you can do for your yeast.” Set the timer or the menu on the bread maker to “Dough.” Wait for the required time, about an hour. In the meantime preheat the oven to 400 degrees and liberally spray the pizza pan with no-stick spray. This will prevent the crust from forming a glue-like bond with the pan.

Take the dough out of the bread maker and roll it out until the dough covers the pizza pan. If you do not have a rolling pin, any canned food can will do as long as it is at least six inches tall. It is best to use no-stick spray on pan or coat it with a thin layer of flour before spreading the dough.

TIDBITS

1) Ancient Egyptians invented the pizza crust to honor their sun god They made the crust round and flat because the Sun looked, and still looks, to be flat and round. Whenever the Egyptians drew a map of the world, they did so on a crust. They then covered it with: grapes, fish, and asps (venom removed) and ate the whole thing. Hence, the famous saying, “I could eat the world for lunch.”

2) Folks over the centuries drew so many pizza-crust maps that people came to believe the Earth had to be flat. Then in 1488, Christopher Columbus’ mom made a pizza topped with great big, round meatballs. He thought, “Hey, I think the world is round, just like these meatballs.” Four years, came Columbus’ great voyage of discovery. The world be changed forever.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperpack
or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Deviled Eggs

American Appetizer

DEVILED EGGS

 INGREDIENTSdevdegg-

4 eggs
1/3 teaspoon paprika
1 1/3 tablespoons mayonnaise
1/3 teaspoon mustard powder

PREPARATION

Place eggs in a pot. Put water in pot. Bring water to boil. Cook for twelve minutes. (Read short sentences.) Do not overcook; a green coating on the yolk would look especially horrible for this recipe. Put eggs in bowl of cold water for fast cooling. Remove shells, cracking the eggs from the bottom first.

Cut eggs in half, lengthwise. Remove the egg yolks. Release your pent-up frustrations mashing them with your handy whisk. Mix in paprika, mayonnaise, and mustard powder.

Spoon this mixture back into the holes left by the removed yolks. Sprinkle only a lit bit more paprika over each entire egg for visual effect. Serve.

This is so easy. And it’s considered a gourmet food. Wow! There’s no excuse not to look suave and sophisticated at dinners or potlucks with this recipe.

TIDBITS

1) Paprika is by far the most popular spice in Hungary. The poppy seed is almost revered in that country. Hungarians refused to join the European Community until they were guaranteed unrestricted poppy-seed production. The European Union caved.

2) The ancient Egyptians boiled goose eggs. Apparently, those eggs are indigestible otherwise. A raw goose egg? Ugh. I’ll take the word of the ancients on this one.

3) Spicy stuffed eggs were eaten in 13th century Andalusia, a region of Spain. Spain discovered the New World in the late 15th century. Coincidence? Perhaps.

4) King Louis XV ate boiled eggs every Sunday. This practice ceased with his death.

5) The culinary term “deviled” arose in the late 18th century and referred to highly seasoned or fiery dishes.

6) My wife doesn’t like using the term “devil” in anything. So if you have another name for this dish, I’d appreciate hearing it.

7) Tampa’s baseball team used to be called the Devil Rays. They are now know as the Rays. So, other people must feel the same way.

8) My brother and I had egg holders when we were children in Australia. Neither of us ever played for the Rays. Coincidence? Perhaps.
cover

My cookbookEat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Chicken Tikka

Indian entree

CHICKEN TIKKA

INGREDIENTSChickenTikka-

4 chicken breasts
2 cups whole-milk yogurt
2 tablespoons lime juice
¼ cup chicken tikka masala
2 limes
1 teaspoon cilantro

SPECIAL ITEMS

skewers
grill

Serves 4. Takes 10 minutes preparation, overnight to marinate, and 30 minutes to cook.

PREPARATION

Slice chicken into 2″ squares. Put yogurt, lime juice, and chicken tikka masala in mixing bowl. Mix with fork. Add chicken squares to bowl. Thoroughly coat chicken squares with yogurt. Cover bowl and marinate in refrigerator overnight.

Preheat grill to 400 degrees. Cut limes into wedges.

Put coated chicken squares on skewers. Grill for 20 minutes or until chicken is tender and browned on all sides. Turn frequently. Remove chicken squares from skewers and place on plate. Sprinkle chicken squares with cilantro and garnish with lime wedges.

TIDBITS

1) Most jokes that are both popular and long lasting employ simple and universal themes. Such is the case with the ever popular “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side,” which involves the humble chicken and the surprise ending.

2) Well, it was a surprise ending when printed in The Knickerbocker in 1847.

3) The Chicken Crossing the Road joke became a staple of vaudeville shows during the late nineteenth century.

4) Potter’s American Monthly printed the first known, at least to me, variation of this joke. Here it is. “Why should not a chicken cross the road?” “It would be a fowl proceeding.” Yes, it took apparently a half century before someone altered the joke. But the comedic floodgates had been opened. Variations of this amusing jest appeared with greater and greater rapidity. Here are some of them:

5) Why did the punk rocker cross the road?ChickenCrossRoad-
He had a chicken stapled to his forehead.

6) Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
To get to the same side.

7) Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens weren’t around yet.

8) Why did the duck cross the road?
To prove it’s no chicken.

9) Why did the chicken simultaneously cross and not cross the road?
It was Schrodinger’s chicken.

10) Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
It was afraid someone would Caesar!

11) Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
Because it was a dirty double-crosser.

12) Why did George’s W. Bush think about the chicken crossing the road?
We don’t care why the chicken crossed the road. We just need to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.

13) Why Barack Obama’s chicken cross the road?
It wanted CHANGE!

14) Why did Captain Kirk’s chicken cross the road?
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

15) Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from Colonel Sanders.

16) Why did the chicken only cross the road halfway?
To lay it on the line.

17) Why did Ancient Egyptians mummify chickens when they died?
To help them get to the other side.

18) Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.

19) Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was a part of a chicken conga line.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Tunisian Maacouda Bil Batata (potato omelette)

Tunisian Entree

MAACOUDA BIL BATATA
(Potato Omelette)

INGREDIENTSMaacouda-

1 pound potatoes
1 onion
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons olive oil
5 eggs
1 teaspoon harissa (See harissa recipe)
5 tablespoons cilantro
1/2 teaspoon coriander
6 tablespoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSIL

casserole dish
no-stick spray

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Slice potatoes into fourths. Gently put potato bits in pot of boiling water. Boil for about 20 or until potatoes are tender. Drain water from pot. Mash potatoes with a potato masher or fork.

While potatoes are cooking, dice onion and garlic. Put onion, garlic, and olive oil in frying pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onions are tender. Remove from heat. While potato bits are still cooking, put eggs, harissa, cilantro, coriander, parsley and salt in mixing bowl. Mix ingredients with whisk or fork..

Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Add eggs/spice mix , mashed potatoes, sautéed onions and garlic to casserole dish. Mix with whisk or fork.. Put casserole dish in oven and bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown. (If chefs couldn’t use the phrase “golden brown” there wouldn’t be any cookbooks.)

TIDBITS

1) Cilantro seeds are called coriander. I never knew that. I took Economics in college and in graduate and not once did they say anything about this important bit of knowledge.

2) The ancient Egyptians believed their loved ones ate cilantro after they died.

3) Proper spicing is always important, even in the afterworld.

4) Cilantro solve all sorts of digestive problems. Enough said.

5) Oh dear, I’ve written myself into a corner.

6) Bye.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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