Posts Tagged With: sandwich

Triple Sandwich

Peruvian Entree

TRIPLE SANDWICH

INGREDIENTS

2 eggs
4 slices white bread
1 small avocado
1 small tomato
3 tablespoons mayonnaise (6 times at ½ tablespoon)
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt

Makes 1 sandwich. Serves 2. Takes 20, or so, minutes, depending on the hardness of the boiled egg.

PREPARATION

Boil 2 eggs in water for 6 minutes, for soft boiled, to 12 minutes, for hard boiled. While eggs boil trim crusts off bread slices. Peel and remove pit of avocado. Cut avocado into ½” cubes. Dice tomato. Peel eggs. Cut each egg into 2 slices along its length.

Spread ½ tablespoon mayonnaise on 1st slice of bread. Arrange avocado cubes evenly over mayonnaise. Sprinkle pepper and salt over avocado.

Spread ½ tablespoon mayonnaise on each side of 2nd slice of bread. Put 2nd slice of bread on avocado. Sprinkle diced tomato evenly on 2nd bread slice.

Spread ½ tablespoon mayonnaise on each side of 3nd slice of bread. Put 3nd slice of bread on diced tomatoes. Arrange egg slices evenly on 3rd bread slice.

Spread ½ tablespoon mayonnaise on 4th slice of bread. Put 4th bread slice, mayonnaise side down, on egg slices. Cut sandwich diagonally. This sandwich looks really nice.

TIDBITS

1) A triple is a term from Peruvian baseball. Baseball was invented in Peru by Señor Alfredo Lopez de Santiago y Albondigas. Lopez owned many large diamond mines in Northern Peru. Diamond mining was cramped work. Cramped work leads to cramped workers. Cramped workers lead to crimped productions. So to stretch the muscles of his miners, Lopez invented the game of Baseball. This occurred in 1834, a full eleven years before Alexander Cartwright supposedly invented the sport in America.

2) Lopez found no takers from his weary and famished workers. He had to bribe his miners with food. Batters who ended up at third base, were rewarded with a triple-layered sandwich of avocado, tomato, and eggs. This sandwich came to be known simply as a “triple.” The corresponding base hit also became a triple. Now you know.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Omani Chips Sandwich

Emirati Entree

OMAN CHIPS SANDWICH

INGREDIENTS

4 teaspoons cream cheese
1 sub roll, hot dog bun, or flat bread*
1 tablespoon chili sauce.
1 package Oman potato chips**
1 scrambled egg (optional)
1 cooked hot dog (optional)

* = The authentic roll is the samoon , while the flatbread used in the Emirates is the paratha. Paratha can be ordered online. Samoon is powerful to find.

** = Please, please try to get Oman chips. They are available online. If the fates are against you and you cannot score these chips, take a deep breath and buy chili flavored chips.

Serves 1. Takes 5 minutes.

PREPARATION

Spread cream cheese over both roll halves. Sprinkle chili sauce over cream cheese. Sprinkle potato chips on bottom bun. Scrambled egg or hot dog may be placed on chile sauce. Put top roll half on chips. Press down on top just enough to crush potato chips.

The order of ingredients when flatbread is used is the same. Simply roll up the flatbread.

TIDBITS

1) Sometimes, the checker at the supermarket will ask, “Did you find everything you needed?”

2) I have learned to just say yes. These stores will never have Omani chips. No, not ever. Nor even paratha flatbread, Appenzeller cheese, Harzer cheese, fresh banana leaves*, marshmallow fluff**, yak butter, and pumpkin-seed flour.

3) * = Fresh banana leaves are often readily available at your local botanical garden. However, the staff of these places look askance at banana-leaf theft. It’s a trait acquired from working there.

4) ** = Marshmallow fluff while easy to find in some parts of America, it’s powerful hard to get out West.. If you live near San Diego, you’ll have to move.

5) And then there’s that authentic herb I wanted that can only be found in remote parts of northeast China and only in season. So, it’s best to reply yes to the checkers and try ordering online. That or go to jail, move, or wander aimlessly the Chinese wastelands.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Matthew’s Pastrami Sandwich

American Entree

MATTHEW’S PASTRAMI SANDWICH

INGREDIENTS

8 slices rye, crusty deli bread, or French rolls*
⅓ cup Russian dressing
1½ pounds sliced pastrami**
4 slice Swiss cheese
2 cups coleslaw

SPECIAL UTENSIL***

aluminum foil

* = rye bread is by far the most popular bread for this sandwich. However, I’m listing substitutes as some people can’t abide rye.
** = This is a simple recipe, so the quality of the pastrami is particularly important.
*** = Omit this if you wish to eat a cold sandwich.

Serves 4. Takes 10 minutes if sandwiches are served cold, 30 minutes if the sandwiches are hot.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Wrap bread in aluminum foil. Bake at 300 degrees for 10 minutes. (Skip this step if you’re making cold sandwiches.) Spread Russian dressing over 2 slices. Add pastrami to bottom bread slice. Place 1 slice of Swiss on pastrami. Top with coleslaw. Complete sandwich by adding the top slice of bread.

TIDBITS

1) Look at the sandwich in the above picture. If you were to turn one of the sandwich halves upside down, you would still have a pastrami sandwich half. In fact, if you hadn’t done the flipping yourself upside down, you never would have been able to tell.

2) This very thing happened to the budding artist, Auguste Renoir. In 1859, he labored all summer painting the best pastrami sandwich the art world had seen or even would see. He painted with such style and such élan that the directors of the Escalier Galerie asked to display his masterpiece.

3) But quelles horreurs, the oaf in charge of exhibitions hung Renoir’s brilliant “Le sandwich au pastrami” upside down. None of the visiting art lovers nor any of the heads of France’s Académie Française noticed this mistake. No, not enough to articulate their artistic uneasiness. But mon Dieu, their psyches did. The viewers’ souls recoiled. The masses, without knowing why, turned away from Renoir. The painting elite also shunned the young Auguste. Renoir shook his fists at the heavens. “Bah, never again will I faithfully painting reality. Mais non, I shall quickly paint my impressions of life. Nothing more. He did and to his lasting amazement, he became one of the pillars of the impressionist movement. Now you know.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tripleta

Puerto Rican Entree

TRIPLETA

INGREDIENTS

 

1 garlic clove

1 medium onion
¼ cup ketchup
3 tablespoons lemon juice
¼ cup mayonnaise
2 teaspoons adobo seasoning
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1¼ pounds sirloin steaks
1¼ pounds pork loins
2 chicken breasts
1 Roma tomato
¼ pound cabbage
4 French rolls
8 slices Swiss cheese
3 ounces crispy French fries (or follow instructions on French fry package)

Makes 4 big sandwiches. Serves 4 to 8. Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Mince garlic clove and onion. Add garlic, onion, ketchup, lemon juice, mayonnaise, adobo seasoning, pepper, and salt to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Cut sirloin steaks, pork loins, and chicken breasts along their heights until you have 4 pieces of each. (Otherwise, you’ll might have a sandwich so tall, you won’t be able to eat it.) Add sirloin, pork, and chicken to mixing bowl. Toss with hands until meat is well coated. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour. While meat marinates, cut tomato into 8 slices. Shred cabbage.

Set grill to medium setting. Remove meat from marinade and add to grill. Save marinade. Grill meat for 10 minutes or until done or done to your liking. Turn meat once. Toast roll halves on grill for 3 minutes or until they begin to brown.

Spread equal amounts of marinade on all French-roll halves. Add equal amounts of shredded cabbage, sirloin, pork, chicken, Swiss cheese, tomato, and crispy French fries to French-roll bottoms. Add French-roll tops. Cut sandwiches in half, if desired.

TIDBITS

1) This is a big meal. But we can’t stay in shape if we eat this sandwich and right after take a nap.

2) This sandwich is delicious. We can’t give it up for any reason. But we want to stay in shape.

3) Clearly, we need to exercise after eating this.

4) What exercise?

5) Cartwheels. Cartwheels? Egad. They’re hard. I’ll fall. I’ll hurt myself.

6) Ok then, how about lifting weights? Oh my gosh, no! I don’t have weights. I’ll have to go to the gym. The gym is far. It’s expensive. It’s crowd. It smells like a gym.

7) Ok then, how about running? Heck no! Running shoes are expensive. I’ll twist my ankles. I’ll get lost. I’ll get blisters. I’ll get completely tired and won’t be able to make it back home without calling an expensive taxi.

8) Ok then, how about walking? Boring. It’s too slow.

9) How about letting the Tripleta do the cartwheels? Yes, I like that. Let’s do that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Banh Mi

Vietnamese Entree

CHICKEN BANH MI

INGREDIENTSChickenBanhMi-

4 8″ baguettes (not overly cripsy)
3 medium carrots
¼ pound daikon
3 tablespoons sugar
½ cup rice vinegar
2 Thai red chiles or jalapeños
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 teaspoon garlic salt
⅛ teaspoon pepper
4 chicken breasts
1 tablespoon vegetable oil                                                                           Not a Van Gogh painting
½ cup aioli sauce (see recipe) or mayonnaise
1 teaspoon sriracha
¼ cup fresh cilantro
1 cucumber
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSIL

cookie sheet

Makes 4 banh mi sandwiches. Takes 1 hour 15 minutes.

PREPARATION

Split baguettes in half along their lengths. Grate, or julienne, carrots and daikon. Add sugar and rice vinegar to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir constantly until sugar dissolves. Remove and let cool. Add carrot and daikon to pot. Marinate in refrigerator for 30 minutes.

While carrots and daikon marinate, preheat oven to 325 degrees. Mince Thai red chiles. Cut chicken breasts into 1″-wide strips. Add Thai red chiles, lime juice, garlic salt, pepper, and chicken to large mixing bowl. Cover and marinate for 30 minutes. While chicken marinates, add aioli sauce and sriracha to small mixing bowl. Blend together with whisk. Dice cilantro. Slice cucumber into thin circles.

Coat chicken breasts with vegetable oil. Spray cookie sheet with no-stick spray. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Add baguette halves to oven. Turn chicken over. Bake chicken and baguettes for 10 minutes or chicken is no longer pink inside and baguettes are lightly toasted.

Spread aioli/sriracha sauce on baguette half. Add an equal layer of cucumber circles to each baguette. Add an equal of chicken strips to each baguette, followed by a layer of mixed carrot and daikon. Sprinkle each baguette with diced cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) Bright, vibrant colors emanate from chicken banh mi. See above photo.

2) The artist Van Gogh (1856-1893) is famous for his bright, vibrant paintings such as Sunflower and starry night. His character is depicted in the well-loved Doctor Who episode, “Vincent and the Doctor,” where he saves the universe. Well done, Vincent.

3) Food always inspired Vincent. His first famous painting is “The Potato Eaters” (1885), known by everyone who has known of it. It was typical of an artistic style called brown gravy, where the only colors on a painter’s palette were: beige, light brown, ecru (remember that for crossword puzzles), brown, dark brown, and chocolate brown.

4) However, Vincent’s magnificent obsession with food developed earlier, certainly after birth and before death.

5) He wrote, during this period of life, wrote many letters to his brother. Food provided the dominant, recurring theme of these epistles.

6) In his letter of September 17, 1875, Vincent worries his brother, Theo, isn’t eating properly. He admonishes his brother to eat lots of bread. Just twelve day later, Vincent tells Theo to eat more bread. On August 18, 1877, the great artist tells his sibling to eat bread as it deters people from suicide. He cites Dickens as his source for this bit of knowledge.

7) Clearly, Vincent did not belong to the gluten-free school of painting.

8) Vincent did take a brief walk on the wild side, when he favored oatmeal over bread. (See his letters of November 9 and November 15, 1875.) Culinary-art historians still debate the reason for this. The dominant view seems to be that his illnesses had been flaring up more than usual. Others maintain that Vincent had simply gone off feed.

9) Then? I don’t know. I cleverly managed to print out only the first nine of Vincent’s twenty-five food-and-drink letters to his brother.

10) Then my friggin’ printer jammed. By the time the cussing had stopped and the printer actually was willing to work again, the mood for research had passed. Hey, don’t judge me.

11) One of Van Gogh’s few non-vegetarian paintings is “Prawns and Mussels” (1886). Everybody loves shrimp and Vincent was no exception. His one true love, however, was potatoes as his many spud painting testify. He did have brief flings with: citrus, cabbage-red and green, onions, grapes, apples, and even quinces!! His one true love, however, was potatoes as his many spud paintings testify.

12) In 2010, the Doctor and Amy Pond visit Vincent with their TARDIS. The Doctor tells Vincent that he shall become the greatest painter of all time. Vincent abandons his bread mania and paints many famous non-culinary paintings. Vincent dies within a year.

13) The great artist would probably have lived long if he had only stayed with still lifes of potatoes. Something to think about for aspiring artists.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Chicken Prosciutto Sandwich

Fusion Entree

CHICKEN PROSCIUTTO SANDWICH

INGREDIENTSChickenProscuitto-

4 chicken breasts
1 cup aioli sauce
6 ounces mozzarella
1 Roma tomato
4 sesame-seed hamburger buns
1 cup bread crumbs
8 slices proscuitto
4 lettuce leaves
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

kitchen mallet
parchment paper
3 cookie or baking sheets

Takes 1 hour 40 minutes. Makes 4 sandwiches.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Flatten chicken breasts with kitchen mallet. Add chicken breasts and aioli sauce to large mixing bowl. Turn chicken breasts by hand until chicken is thoroughly coated. Put in refrigerator and marinate for 1 hour.

While chicken marinates, cut mozzarella and tomato into 4 slices each. After marinating, add bread crumbs to 2nd mixing bowl. Place a mozzarella slice on each hamburger-bun top. Remove chicken breasts from 1st mixing bowl, saving the remaining aioli sauce. Dredge chicken breasts through bread crumbs until they are completely coated. Spray 1st cookie sheet with no-stick spray. Bake at 425 degrees for 20 minutes. (You will be adding two more cookie sheets after 13 minutes.)

While chicken is baking, place parchment paper on 2nd cookie sheet. Place proscuitto on top of parchment paper. Place all hamburger bun halves, including the ones with cheese, on 3rd cookie sheet. After the chicken has baked for 13 minutes, add the proscuitto and the cheese-covered buns to the oven. Continue baking for another 7 minutes or until chicken crumbs are golden brown, proscuitto is starting to become crispy, and the cheese on the buns has melted.

Spread saved aioli sauce on hamburger-bun bottoms. Place lettuce leaf on bottom hamburger bun. Put chicken breast on lettuce leaf, then add 2 prosciutto slices. Complete with cheese covered hamburger-bun top.

TIDBITS

1) Have chicken prosciutto sandwiches always been round?

2) No! Prior to the siege of Picanza, Italy by Napoleon’s troops in 1813, they were triangular. The Picanzans found that shape easy to hold while eating.

3) The triangular sandwiches were also deadly weapons in the hands of the town’s ninjas, particularly after the snack had hardened from being left out in the hot Italian Sun for two weeks.

4) Oh! Don’t forget to go to Picanza’s annual Ninja Chicken Prosciutto Sandwich Toss Festival every April 1. Teams from all over the world compete for the Golden Sandwich Trophy, although Italy and Japan have done all the winning. Be sure to get out of the way of the tosses!

4) The odor from two-week old prosciutto often drove away invading armies just by itself. Well, at least until 1767 when it became standard for armies to carry pumpkin-spiced incense sticks.

5) But in 1813, the clever Napoleon constantly moved his troops upwind from the city. The gale forces winds of that summer continually blew the chicken-prosciutto-sandwich-death triangles back into the city whey dealt widespread carnage among the cafe drinkers. To this day, Picanzans always drink their espresso inside.

6) It looked bad for the Picanzans. The French would fire cannon balls into the city. The Picanzans unable to hurl their hardened sandwich resorted to making scary faces at the besiegers. It was an unequal struggle.

7) Thank goodness for the annual Bowling Ball Festival. Unlike most bowling festivals, this one took place on the precipitous Strada Ripido. Why was it held on such a steep street? The competitors used Parmesan wheels as bowling balls and those 200 pound rounds are heavy. Francesco Poblano suggested they crush the French army by rolling Parmesan cheese at them. The mayor said, “Are you crazy! How will we make eggplant Parmesan?” The ever-clever Franceso said, “Why not make our chicken prosciutto sandwiches round. That way, when they don’t get eaten, we can roll the hardened sandwiches down our steep hills and crush the French down below.”

8) The mayor and other notables proclaimed Francesco a genius and erected a statue in his honor made of bread crumbs and eggs. That statue is still there.

9) Anyway, the Picanzans rolled chicken-prosciutto sandwiches dried out to death dealing hardness at Napoleon’s forces. The bowled over French fled the surrounding hill in terror. Napoleon suffered an irreversible blow to his prestige. Nations all over Europe took courage from his humiliation and rose up against him, swamping the French armies by sheer force of numbers.

10) By 1815, the once great French emperor was exiled to the remote island of St. Helena, where he eked out a tenuous living selling French-style hot dogs out of a vending cart.

11) Oh! Don’t forget to go to Picanza, Italy for its annual Bowling Ball Festival. It’s exciting, particularly if you watch the event at the bottom of Strada Ripido. I suggest paying extra for seats at the top of the steep road.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Uitsmijter (Dutch Ham and Egg Sandwich)

Dutch Entree

UITSMIJTER
(Ham and Egg Sandwich)

INGREDIENTS

1 teaspoon butter (1 additional tablespoon later)Uitsmijter-
2 slices white bread
1 tablespoon butter
2 eggs
4 slices or 4 ounces ham
2 ounces Gouda, Edam, or cheddar cheese
4 thinly sliced cucumber circles
dash of salt
dash of pepper

Makes 1 sandwich. Takes 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Lightly toast bread. Smooth 1 teaspoon butter on butter slices. Add 1 tablespoon butter to pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Add 2 eggs. Cook eggs sunny-side up using medium to your desired level of doneness. (Dutch restaurants usually have the eggs be runny.) Add ham, cheese, egg yolk-side up, and cucumber circles to bottom slice of bread. Sprinkle pepper and salt to egg. Top with second slice of bread.

TIDBITS

1) Tired of square hotels rooms? Why not visit the Dutch city of the Hague? Bed down in your own orange escape pod for the night. Yes, get rocked to sleep as your round pod gently rocks in a canal. Or not so gently, if a speed boat zips by. These rooms come with all the bars and amenities that can be fitted in a space eight feet wide. If you want to feel like Captain Nemo or James Bond ejecting from a spacecraft with a beautiful Russian spy, this is the overnight stay for you.

2) It’s no surprise that the Netherlands designed bobbing pod hotels. It’s also the birthplace for the 85-foot tall yellow rubber ducky that is being towed around the world for its healing properties. We may even feel so good that world peace might break out. Indeed, the creator’s giant ducky has been successful, scarcely anyone recalls the giant rubber frogs and bunnies he created.

3) And speaking of toys, a Dutchman is launching an exciting, new website. It will be designed for bashful people who desired the latest in sex toys. Modest browsers will be relieved to know that the site will have no nudity or even bad language.

4) Then’s there that giant blue UFO that was photographed over the Netherland’s main government building. It just shows you how anything can happen in politics. Look for its return from the safety of your escape pod.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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I Invite Syria’s Assad Over For Dinner and Root Beers

RootBe1-

Bashar al-Assad, president and dictator of Syria is getting way too cranky and needs to step down. And if the only thing that’s making him cling so tenaciously to power is the lack of a good retirement dinner, I, the Powegian Chef, am hereby offering it to him at my humble home.

So, Bashar, do you like Greek cuisine? I have fresh grape leaves growing in my front yard. Or would you prefer a fine Cuban sandwich? I’ll leave the menu to you. Just let me know.

We could watch reruns of Gunsmoke after dinner. We have a fold-out sofa bed if you’d care to stay the night. For the first ten minutes of the next day we could visit the cultural sites of Poway, twenty if we’re lucky enough to see street repair.

My wife could expertly cut your hair. Just a trim, of course, your hair always looks great. And just how do you find time to go to barbers when you’re always so busy killing off your people? Some of those victims surely must be barbers and that means it’s even tougher to get that haircut-to-kill for look . Yep, it can’t be easy being a maniacal dictator. But I’m being uncharitable. We all have our faults. Me, I’m constantly losing my car keys.

But I digress. We were talking about dinner. Frankly, a person as odious as yourself deserves to be fed lutefisk. But in the spirit of live and let live, I’ll serve you any other meal you’d might want. We’ll even have ice cold root beers. If that doesn’t make you warm and fuzzy enough to call off your civil war, I don’t know what will. C’mon over Bashar!

– Paul De Lancey, concerned world citizen

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Cemita, Mexican Sandwich

Mexican Entree

CEMITA
(Mexican Sandwich)

INGREDIENTSCemita-

2 garlic cloves
1 tablespoon minced onion
1 tablespoon butter.
1 teaspoon Mexican oregano
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup bread crumbs
2 eggs
1 pound round steak (sliced 1/4″ to 1/2″ thick)
at least 3 tablespoons olive oil.
2 tablespoons lemon juice

2 avocados
1 onion
12 ounces queso blanco or mozzarella
4 round rolls with sesame seeds
1/2 cup salsa

SPECIAL UTENSIL

kitchen mallet

PREPARATION

Mince garlic. Add garlic, onion, and butter to pan and sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion is tender. Remove garlic and onion. Add garlic, onion, oregano, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until well mixed. Whisk eggs in separate bowl.

Tenderize steaks with kitchen mallet if steaks not already tenderized. Bam! Bam! Coat both sides of steaks in garlic/onion/spice mix. Dip steaks into whisked eggs, then into breadcrumbs, coating both sides. Add olive oil to skillet. Sautée each steak on medium heat for 1.5-to-2 minutes for each side, until breading is crispy and golden brown. Add olive oil as necessary for each steak sautéed. Place steaks on paper towels to drain Sprinkle with lemon juice. Slice lemon and put a slice with each steak.

Peel and pit avocados. Cut avocados into thin slices. Thinly slice onion. Grate cheese. Toast rolls. Place steak Milanesa on bottom half of roll. Top steak Milanesa with 1/4th of the avocado slices, 1/4th of the onion slices, and 1/4th of the grated cheese. Evenly spoon 1/4th of the salsa on top of the cheese. Put the top half of roll on top of everything. Repeat for the other 3 sandwiches.

TIDBITS

1) “Cemita sandwich” is an anagram for “Ascetic ham wind.”

2) There is a town in Massachussets called Sandwich. Its police cars have “Sandwich Police” on their doors.

3) Jim Morrison was the lead singer for the band, “The Doors.”

4) The Parisians use baguettes for their sandwiches.

5) The bloody French Revolution was caused, in great part, by the high cost of bread.

6) “Bread” was another great rock band.

7) Rock beat scissors.

8) Ancient Egyptians did not have scissors. They played “Rock, Paper.” As paper beats rock, everyone picked paper. All their games ended in a tie.

9) Tie are a popular gift for Father’s Day.

10) Doris Day was a great actress and singer. She never took her clothes off in any of her movies.

11) Clothes get cleaned in a washer.

12) But often only one sock per pair survives the washing. Where does the missing sock go?

13) I think the socks go to an alternate universe.

14) Socks the Cat was President Bill Clinton’s pet.

15) I met someone who had the job of protecting Socks when President Clinton visited San Diego.

16) But no one protects the socks that go into our washing machines. Perhaps our washing machines have obtained consciousness and have learned to hate us, just like computer printers.

17) Printers should be called Marleys because they’re always jammin’.

18) I almost saw Bob Marley’s house when I visited Jamaica.

19) Jamaica’s jerk-chicken dish is wonderful.

20) Soda jerks were common in America before World War II when this great land had lots of stores with soda fountains. Now soda jerks and soda fountains are mostly gone. The Allies made the world safe for democracy, but not for going out for a soda.

21) I need a sandwich to regain my rosy outlook on life. Ahh.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

La Mitraillette (Belgian Sandwich)

Belgian Entree

LA MITRAILLETTE

INGREDIENTSLaMitraillette-

1 yellow onion
1 tablespoon butter (2 more tablespoons later)
2 pounds ground beef
5 Yukon gold potatoes or medium potatoes (if you wish to make your own French fries)
1 cup French fries (if you don’t wish to make your own French fries)
2 baguettes
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup ketchup
1/4 cup mayonnaise

PREPARATION OF FRENCH FRIES (or used already made French Fries)

Cut potatoes into strips 1/4″ to 1/2″ wide. Soak potato strips in cold water for 30 minutes. Drain. Pat strips dry. Put oil in deep fryer. Heat oil to 340 degrees. Put potato strips in fryer. Fry strips at 340 degrees for 5-to-10 minutes or until they become crisp and turn golden brown. You will most likely need to cook in batches. Remove fries. Put fries on paper towels to remove grease. If you are using already-made fries, put fries in pan and fry on medium heat for 5 minutes or until thoroughly heated. Stir occasionally.

PREPARATION OF SANDWICH

Dice onion. Put onion and 1 tablespoon butter in frying pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion is tender. Stir frequently. Remove onion. Make 8 small beef patties. Fry patties on medium high-heat for 5 minutes or until meat is no longer pink. Flip patties occasionally.

While beef is cooking, cut baguettes in two along their width. Cut open demi-baguettes. Spread 2 tablespoons butter on the inside of the baguette pieces. Toast the baguettes pieces butter side down in frying pan on medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Assemble sandwiches with bottom halves of baguettes, onion, ground beef, French fries, ketchup, mustard, and top halves of baguettes .
TIDBITS

1) “La mitraillette” means “the machine gun” in French. Machine Gun Kelly was a famous gangster. Gene Kelly was a renowned dancer. Gene Krupa was a great band leader from the Big Band Era.

2) E.R.A. stands for Earned Run Average and equals (earned runs/innings pitched) * 9. Yay!

3) You should make sure your ground beef turns brown in this recipe. The ground is beneath your feet. Most people and tyrannosaurus rexes have two feet. And so it goes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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