Posts Tagged With: sea salt

Guacamole

Mexican Appetizer

GUACAMOLE

 INGREDIENTSGuacamo-

2 avocados
1 jalapeno
1/2 onion
2 tbsp fresh cilantro
1 tbsp lime juice
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/2 cup diced tomatoes

PREPARATION

Make sure avocados are ripe. They should be feel a bit squishy. (That is not the same feeling you get when you all in love. That is squooshy.) Remove stem and seeds from jalapeno. Then mince it, the onion, and the cilantro.

Put avocado in mixing bowl. Mash the avocado thoroughly with a fork. Add jalapeno, onion, cilantro, lime juice, salt, pepper, and diced tomatoes. Mix ingredients completely with fork or whisk. Add water if it gets too thick for your liking.

Assume a look of radiant virtue as you serve this to your guests who may or may not deserve it.

TIDBITS

1) Doesn’t “guacamole” look as if it should be pronounced “whack a mole?”

2) Where I grew up, our neighbors had a guacamole tree, bush, cactus, or whatever its called, that dropped its fruit onto our side.

3) We had a lemon tree that dropped its fruit onto their side. Fair is fair.

4) Authentic guacamole and salsa are always fresh.

5) Salsa, the movie, was made in 1988 and directed by Boaz Davidson.

6) The Old Testament’s Book of Ruth has Boaz marrying Ruth. The movie, Story of Ruth, was made in 1960 and starred Stuart Whitman.

7) Stuart Whitman was more well known for his movie roles as a cowboy such as in the 1961 movie, The Comancheros.

8) It’s unclear even after on-line search if Stuart Whitman liked salsa. Or even guacamole.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Roasted Red Peppers with Baguettes

French Entree

ROASTED RED PEPPERS WITH BAGUETTES

INGREDIENTSRoastedRPwB-

4 red bell peppers
3 cloves garlic
1 cup olive oil
4 teaspoons herbes de Provence
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon mignonette pepper (or pepper)
2 baguettes

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Bake bell peppers in baking dish at 450 degrees. Turn every 8 minutes until skin blackens on all sides. Remove bell peppers and put in a paper lunch bag. Close lunch bag and let bell peppers sweat for an hour.. Do not, do not, for the love of God, Montressor, take them out early.

If you take the red bell peppers out of the bag early, you will find it so difficult to remove the skin from the bell peppers. You will be so frustrated by this that you will find yourself going constantly to the DMV just to be in a happier place. You will become a DMV groupie. Do not let this happen. Keep those bell peppers in the bag for the full hour.

While the bell peppers are steaming in the sack, mince garlic cloves. Put garlic, olive oil, herbes de Provence, salt, and pepper in mixing bowl and mix with fork.

Because you will need to peel those bell peppers. Cut the peppers into thin short strips. Spoon mix with liquid over baguette slices. Serve to adoring guests. Unappreciative guests get bonked over the head with a stale baguette. Sacré bleu

The bell pepper/olive oil mixed can also be used Provençale Roasted Red Pepper Soup.

TIDBITS

1) This was supposed to have been called Rhone River Roasted Red Pepper Soup for its alliterative beauty, but that title would have been too long to fit on one line.

2) And without beauty, what is there? Might as well sit in dentists’ waiting room.

3) Fortunately, beauty exists everywhere.

4) We can thank the French Revolution which erupted in 1789 to protect the rights of the common person and to protect beauty.
5) Many people died ensuring that Revolution would succeed. Generations of Frenchmen would go to war before France would finally get a stable republic.

6) With a stable republic, artists need no longer go to war. They become free to create beautiful works of art.

7) So after all that, how could I mar beauty with a two-line title?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Libyan Imthawoma (potatoes in spicy sauce) Recipe

Libyan Entree

IMTHAWOMA
(Potatoes in spicy sauce)

INGREDIENTSImthawoma-

8 red potatoes
1 tomato
8 garlic cloves
1 stick butter
2 1/2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon turmeric

INITIAL PREPARATION

Start boiling water. Peel potatoes. Puree tomatoes.. Mince garlic. Add potatoes to boiling water. Boil for about 20 minutes or until potatoes are soft.

GHEE PREPARATION

While potatoes are boiling, put butter in small sauce pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Do not cover the pan. After butter has melted and starts to foam reduce heat to low and simmer for about 15 minutes. Do not stir. (This goes counter to many cooking instincts. Resist. You can do it.) It’s ready when:

1) Someone yells, “It’s ready.”

2) A light tan crust forms on the mostly still surface.

3) The butter stops bubbling.

4) Starts to smell like popcorn.

Pour the melted butter through a colander into bowl. Discard solids left in colander. The liquid in the bowl is your ghee. You are now a ghee whiz.

FINAL PREPARATION

Put ghee back in sauce pan. Add garlic, cumin, paprika, salt, and turmeric. Sauté at medium high heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Add tomato puree. Cook on medium heat for 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Put potatoes in sauce pan. Turn potatoes over until they are well coated with the spicy ghee. Simmer on low heat for 5 minutes, occasionally stirring the sauce and turning the potatoes. Serve and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) I keep forgetting how to spell “colander.”

2) I have no problem is chrysanthemum, antediluvian, or even phthalein. I can’t remember the last word’s meaning, though.

3) When my older son was one-to-two years old, he convinced himself that I couldn’t drive without his help. He’d say, “Green means go” or “red means stop.”

4) I miss those days.

5) And doesn’t “Imthawoma” look a lot like “I’m the woman?”

6) With observations like that, it’s no wonder my son wanted to help me do things.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Turkish Stuffed Bell Pepper Recipe

Turkish Entree

TURKISH STUFFED BELL PEPPERS

INGREDIENTSTurkSBP-

1 cup brown rice
2 cups water (1/2 cup more later)

1 1/2 tomatoes
8 red or green bell peppers
2 tablespoons pine nuts (see note below for substitutions)
2 medium onions
1/2 cup water
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon dill
2 teaspoons mint
2 teaspoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons olive oil

Many people are more allergic to pine nuts than other types. Substitutes for pine nuts are: walnuts, almonds, pistachios, cashews, and peanuts.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder
casserole dish

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cook rice according to instructions shown on bag. Mince tomatoes. Cut off tops from bell peppers. Keep tops for later. Remove seeds. Grind nuts. Mince onions.

Put olive oil and onion in frying pan. Sauté for about 5 minutes or until onions soften. Stir frequently.

Add 1/2 cup water, tomatoes, pine nuts, onion, allspice, cinnamon, dill, mint, parsley, black pepper, salt, lemon juice, and cooked rice. Cook on low heat for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Put bell pepper bottoms, open-end up, in casserole dish. Fill bell peppers with rice/tomato/spice mix. Put bell-pepper caps on top of bell-pepper bottoms. Add 1″ water to casserole dish. Put casserole dish in oven. Bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes or until bell peppers are soft.

Discard bell-pepper tops before serving this entree to adoring family or guests.

TIDBITS

1) I looked up “fun facts about Turkey” and found the country is a member of the Council of Europe (1949), NATO (1952), OECD (1961), OSCE (1973) and the G20 industrial nations (1999).

2) I guess some people have different ideas about fun.

3) The Turks introduced coffee to Europe during some three-hundred years of invasion. Bad for the Europeans of that time, but really good for us now when we need to wake up.

4) The mighty croissant was invented in Vienna in 1683. Viennese bakers preparing breads and pastries in the wee hours in the morning heard the Turks tunneling under the city. The bakers sounded the alarm. The alerted Viennese defenders defeated the tunnelers and the city was saved. The bakers celebrated the event with pastries shaped like the crescent on the Turkish flags, hence the name croissant.

5) Isn’t tidbit 4) much more fun than tidbit 1)?

6) The Turks haven’t invaded anyone for about three centuries bringing that mode of culinary enlightenment to an end.

7) We now discover Turkish culinary recipes at bookstores and from the internet.

8) There is no more need for war.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Eggah – Egyptian Omelette Recipe

Egyptian Breakfast

EGGAH
(Omelette)

INGREDIENTSEggah-

2 medium onions
1 tomato
1/2 red bell pepper
10 eggs
3/4 teaspoon coriander
3/4 teaspoon cumin
2 teaspoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
3 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour

PREPARATION

Mince onions. Dice bell pepper and tomato. Mix eggs, coriander, cumin, parsley, and sea salt in mixing bowl. (This is why a mixing bowl is called a mixing bowl. ☺)

Put butter and onion into skillet. Sauté at medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add flour. Mix thoroughly. Add eggs/spice mixture to skillet. Stir. Cook for about 5 minutes with lid on or until eggs turn golden brown on the bottom. Flip the omelette over and cook for about 3 minutes or until the new bottom side is golden brown as well. (Note, it’s okay to use a spatula to cut the omelette in half or into four pieces before flipping it over. If your guests complain about this, point toward your vast supply of sharp kitchen knives, kitchen scissors, and kitchen mallets.)

Serve hot to friends and family and cold to telemarketers.

TIDBITS

1) Egypt is home to the Suez Canal.

2) Dentists perform root canals.

3) In a movie, Marilyn Monroe so dislikes a man she says, “You, you dentist.”

4) Do mimes cry out during root-canal operations?

5) I much prefer root beer to undergoing a root canal.

6) Charlie Root pitched for the 1935 National League champion Chicago Cubs.

7) Shirley Temple was a child film star around that time. She has a non-alcoholic drink named after her.

8) My mother met Shirley Temple.

9) My mother later had me and now you have this recipe. ☺

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Hungarian Burger Wrap Recipe

Hungarian Entree

HUNGARIAN BURGER WRAP

INGREDIENTSHungaBW-

1 1/2 medium onions
1 garlic clove
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1/2 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon thyme
1/3 cup sour cream
1/4 cup beef broth
8 large lettuce leaves

PREPARATION

Mince onion and garlic. In mixing bowl, make hamburger patties with beef, onion, garlic, paprika, parsley, pepper, sea salt, and sour cream. Fry patties in pan on medium-high heat for about 10 minutes. Flip patties over about every 3 minutes. Pour half of the beef broth on the burger each time you flip the burgers. This moistens the patties. (No, no I’m still not ready to use the word . . . moisturize.)
TIDBITS

1) Why does this recipe use lettuce wraps instead of hamburger buns?

2) I didn’t have any hamburger buns. I was just at the store and didn’t want to go back again and the patties were already cooked when I discovered the buns’ absence.

3) It would have been nice if the local supermarket could have catapulted some buns to me.

4) But they don’t have that service and seem positively disinclined to start catapulting anything to customers.

5) Besides what would happen if the catapulted burgers accidentally landed on a diver at a high-school swim meet? It would throw off his dive, give him a bad score and maybe cause his high school to lose.

6) And what if the catapulted hamburger buns triggered the army’s automatic missile defense system? The army’s intercepting missile would hit the buns. The buns would explode. Bun bits would coat houses all over the neighborhood.

7) The army would also assume we were under attack by a vicious unseen enemy. Our armed forces would go to the highest level of readiness possible.

8) Other nuclear nations would see this and believe we were preparing for a nuclear first strike.

9) They’d preempt our imagined nuclear strike with one of their own.

10) We’d retaliate. It’d be the end of the world.

11) All because I wanted buns when I could have made do with lettuce leaves.

12) Lettuce is no threat at all to cause nuclear war. It provides fiber as well!

13) Yay, lettuce.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pule Me Arra – Chicken With Walnuts Recipe

Albanian Entree

PULE ME ARRA
(Chicken with walnuts)

INGREDIENTSpulemea-

4 chicken breasts
5 garlic cloves
5 ounces walnuts.
1 bay leaf
2 tablespoons olive oil

2 tablespoons flour
3 tablespoons butter (2 tablespoons later)
1/4 teaspoon white pepper (or black pepper)
1/4 teaspoon sea salt (or salt)
1/4 teaspoon thyme
2 tablespoons vinegar

2 egg yolks
2 tablespoons butter

Goes well with rice

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into 1/2″ cubes. Mince garlic. Crush walnuts.

Put chicken, garlic, bay leaf, and olive oil in saucepan. Sauté on medium-high heat for about 10 minutes or until chicken is white inside . (Okay, you might need to cut open a chicken cube to see. If it’s done, you might want to taste that piece to be sure. And then a second chicken cube, and a third, because you never know. ☺) Stir occasionally.

Add flour and 3 tablespoons butter to second saucepan. Sauté the flour on medium-high heat until flour turns light brown. Stir constantly. Add chicken cubes, vinegar, walnuts, pepper, salt, and thyme. Cook for another 20 minutes on low heat. Stir occasionally. Transfer this wonderful mixture to large serving bowl.

Sauté eggs yolks in 2 tablespoons of butter using high heat, in third saucepan, until butter boils and eggs reach desired level of doneness. Pour sautéed eggs and butter on top of chicken-and-walnut mixture. Serve immediately.

TIDBITS

1) Pule me arra translates from Albanian to chicken with walnuts while gjellë me arra means dish with walnuts.

2) This is useful information if you’re ever on an Albanian quiz show.

3) According to one of my FacebookTM friends, Albania along with Moldova are the two forgotten countries of Europe. Your never hear of them.

4) I did find out, though, that Albanians are mad about walnuts.) There is an episode in the Dick van Dyke Show where aliens take over people’s bodies. You can tell they’re aliens because they have no thumbs and absolutely love walnuts.

6) The original Waldorf salad was created at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in 1896 by the maître d. This first version did not contain walnuts.

7) So we know the Waldorf-Astoria was not hiring walnut-loving aliens at that time. Walnuts were added to the salad later.

8) Thus we can pinpoint the Great Walnut-Loving Alien Invasion of Earth to after 1896.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hungarian Goulash Recipe

Hungarian Entree

GOULASH

INGREDIENTSgoulash-

1 1/2 pounds pork tenderloin
3 red potatoes
1 1/2 medium onions
1 garlic clove
2 medium carrots
1 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil
3 cups pork or beef broth
1/2 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon thyme
1 teaspoon flour
1/3 cup sour cream

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Cut pork into 1″ cubes. Dice potatoes. Mince onion and garlic. Dice carrots. Put vegetable oil in Dutch oven. Add onion and garlic. Sauté onions and garlic at medium-high heat for about5 minutes or until onions are soft. Stir frequently. Add pork cubes. Sauté for about 20 minutes on medium heat or until pork cubes start to brown. Stir frequently.

Add potato, carrot, broth, paprika, parsley, pepper, salt, and thyme. Cook on low heat with lid on for about 2 1/2 hours or until pork and potato are tender.

Remove from heat. Add flour and sour cream. Stir and serve to lucky guests or family.

TIDBITS

1) I went to Hungary in 1972 with my parents and brother.

2) As was expected, Hungarian goulash was everywhere. I was in heaven.

3) The Soviet Army was there as well. That was not so heavenly. Indeed, there were signs on roads telling us not to take photos of there army bases.

4) Foreigners were not allowed to take Hungarian money, the forint, out of the country. So my family like many others bought a lot of Hungarian chocolate before we left.

5) The Soviet Army left a few decades later. Because of my visit? Who can say.

6) But the Hungarian love for goulash remains strong as ever. Life goes on. Rainbows continue to dot the Hungarian landscape.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Suaasat – Greenlander Soup

Greenlander Soup

SUAASAT

INGREDIENTSSuaasat-

1 chicken breast (1 pound reindeer if you can get it)
1 onion
1 carrot
1 quart water
1/2 cup pearl barley
1/4 cup millet
1/4 teaspoon coriander
1/8 teaspoon sea salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon rosemary
1/2 teaspoon sage
1/2 teaspoon thyme

Makes 6 bowls

PREPARATION

Chop reindeer meat or chicken into 1/2″ cubes. Dice onions and carrots. Add cubes, onions, carrots, water, barley, millet, coriander, salt, pepper, rosemary, sage, and thyme to large pot. Cook soup on medium heat for about 1 hour or until chicken or reindeer cubes are fully cooked and barley and millet are tender.

TIDBITS

1) A Viking called Gunnbjorn discovered Greenland in 876.

2) Why does Gunnbjorn get all the credit for discovery when thousands of Eskimos had been living there for hundreds of years?

3) Because Gunnbjorn sounds a lot like GummiTM bears and everyone likes those.

4) Leif Erikkson discovered North America in 1000.

5) Why did Leif get all the credit when North America was discovered thousands of years by peoples crossing the land bridge between Siberia and Alaska thousands of years before?

6) Because Leif sounds exactly like leaf. The maple leaf grows on the maple tree. Maple trees produce maple syrup. Everybody loves maple syrup.

7) Proper branding is a must for all discoverers.

8) Erikkson is variant of Erickson. Erickson is the name of my Swedish born grandparents who settled in America about 100 years ago.

9) I don’t believe the Erikksons and Ericksons ever relinquished their claim of discovery.

10) So North America quite possibly belongs to me.

11) As long as North Americans love maple syrup.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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