2 tbsp fresh cilantro
1 tbsp lime juice
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/2 cup diced tomatoes
Make sure avocados are ripe. They should be feel a bit squishy. (That is not the same feeling you get when you all in love. That is squooshy.) Remove stem and seeds from jalapeno. Then mince it, the onion, and the cilantro.
Put avocado in mixing bowl. Mash the avocado thoroughly with a fork. Add jalapeno, onion, cilantro, lime juice, salt, pepper, and diced tomatoes. Mix ingredients completely with fork or whisk. Add water if it gets too thick for your liking.
Assume a look of radiant virtue as you serve this to your guests who may or may not deserve it.
1) Doesn’t “guacamole” look as if it should be pronounced “whack a mole?”
2) Where I grew up, our neighbors had a guacamole tree, bush, cactus, or whatever its called, that dropped its fruit onto our side.
3) We had a lemon tree that dropped its fruit onto their side. Fair is fair.
4) Authentic guacamole and salsa are always fresh.
5) Salsa, the movie, was made in 1988 and directed by Boaz Davidson.
6) The Old Testament’s Book of Ruth has Boaz marrying Ruth. The movie, Story of Ruth, was made in 1960 and starred Stuart Whitman.
7) Stuart Whitman was more well known for his movie roles as a cowboy such as in the 1961 movie, The Comancheros.
8) It’s unclear even after on-line search if Stuart Whitman liked salsa. Or even guacamole.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.