Author Archives: pauldelancey

Llajua – Bolivian Hot Sauce Recipe

Posted on April 8, 2013 by pauldelancey

Bolivian Appetizer

LLAJUA
(Spicy Sauce)

INGREDIENTS

4 medium tomatoes
1 tablespoon aji amarillo
2 teaspoons cilantro
2 teaspoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt

PREPARATION

Remove seeds from tomatoes. Put tomatoes, aji amarillo, cilantro, parsley, and salt in blender. Use chop setting on blender until you get a smooth liquid or paste.

Serve by itself or other Bolivian dishes such as SOPA DE MANI.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

TIDBITS

1) Bolivia maintains the world’s biggest butterfly sanctuary. This South American country has been at peace ever since the park’s opening.

2) Who can forget The Hunchback of Notre Dame with Quasimodo shouting, “Sanctuary, sanctuary.”

3) Boliva’s butterflies do not shout, “Sanctuary.” This is because they feel no need, being already in a sanctuary or they are all mimes.

4) Tidbit 2) italicized The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

5) The period at the end of this sentence is italicized.

6) The period at the end of this sentence is not.

7) Could you tell the difference? I couldn’t without using quite a large font size.

8) I need to get out more.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: aji amarillo, Bolivia, Bolivian, butterfly, cilantro, cookbook, De Lancey, Eat Me, hot sauce, llajua, mimes, parsley, Quasimodo, recipe, sanctuary, sopa de mani, South America, The Hunchback of Notre Dame | Leave a comment

Sopa De Mani – Bolivian Peanut And Potato Soup Recipe

Posted on April 7, 2013 by pauldelancey

This is my 300th blog! Thank you for reading.

Bolivian Entree

SOPA DE MANI
(Peanut and Potato Soup)

INGREDIENTS

2 chicken breasts
4 cloves garlic
1 large onion
1 cup raw, unsalted peanuts
1 cup water
3 Yukon gold potatoes (to be chopped into pieces)
1 Yukon gold potato (to be cut into strips)
2 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil (1/4 cup more later)
6 cups chicken broth
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon cilantro
1 teaspoon parsley

SPECIAL APPLIANCE

blender

PREPARATION

Cut chicken breasts into 1/2″ cubes. Mince garlic and onions. Put peanuts and water into blender. Use chop setting until you get a smooth white liquid or paste. Peel potatoes. Cut 3 potatoes into 1/2″ slices. Cut each slice into 2 or 3 pieces. Cut 1 potato into 1/4″ by 1/4″ inch strips.

Put oil, garlic, and onion in frying pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onions soften or start to turn golden brown. Stir frequently. Transfer sautéed garlic and onion to soup pot.

Add chicken cubes, peanut paste, potato pieces (not the potato strips), chicken broth, cumin, oregano, pepper, and salt to soup pot. Simmer on low heat for about 40 minutes or until potato pieces are soft. Stir occasionally. (It is also a good idea to stir occasionally when watching tv or you may be thrown out with that old sofa you’re sitting on.)

While soup is cooking, add 1/4 cup vegetable oil and strips from one potato to frying pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until potato strips turn golden brown. Stir frequently enough to keep strips or fries from burning. (Note, hot oil splatters. Tip the frying pan away from you or hold a lid between you and the frying pan when stirring the fries.)

Ladle soup into bowls. Garnish equal bowl with an equal amount of cilantro, parsley, and fried potato strips .If desired, add as much LLAJUA, (spicy sauce) to each bowl.

TIDBITS

1) Bolivians love potatoes.

2) They did not love McDonald’s enough. McDonald’s left Bolivia on December 1, 2001 after seven years of trying. Bolivians simply preferred their own style of cooking or were too poor to eat out .

3) Iceland does not have McDonald’s either. It costs too much to get potatoes from Germany.

4) Many of the poor countries between the Mediterranean Sea and South Africa are without McDonald’s. The same holds true for ex-Soviet republic in Central Asia.sauté

5) American forces fought in the Vietnam War in: Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia. These countries do not have McDonald’s.

6) North Korea and Iran have nuclear-weapons programs. They are unfriendly to us and have no McDonald’s.

7) Indeed, most countries do not have McDonald’s restaurants in them are poor, have fought America, or have become hostile nuclear powers.

8) Think about that when you’re tempted to pass by an empty McDonald’s in some foreign land.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: America, American, Bolivia, Bolivian, broth, Cambodia, chicken, cilantro, cookbook, cumin, De Lancey, garnish, Iceland, Iran, Laos, llagua, McDonald's, Mediterranean, North Korea, nuclear weapons, onion, oregano, parsley, peanut, pepper, potato, potatoes, recipe, saute, sopa de mani, soup, South Africa, Vietnam, Vietnam War, Yukon | Leave a comment

Turkish Stuffed Bell Pepper Recipe

Posted on April 4, 2013 by pauldelancey

Turkish Entree

TURKISH STUFFED BELL PEPPERS

INGREDIENTS

1 cup brown rice
2 cups water (1/2 cup more later)

1 1/2 tomatoes
8 red or green bell peppers
2 tablespoons pine nuts (see note below for substitutions)
2 medium onions
1/2 cup water
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon dill
2 teaspoons mint
2 teaspoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons olive oil

Many people are more allergic to pine nuts than other types. Substitutes for pine nuts are: walnuts, almonds, pistachios, cashews, and peanuts.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder
casserole dish

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cook rice according to instructions shown on bag. Mince tomatoes. Cut off tops from bell peppers. Keep tops for later. Remove seeds. Grind nuts. Mince onions.

Put olive oil and onion in frying pan. Sauté for about 5 minutes or until onions soften. Stir frequently.

Add 1/2 cup water, tomatoes, pine nuts, onion, allspice, cinnamon, dill, mint, parsley, black pepper, salt, lemon juice, and cooked rice. Cook on low heat for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Put bell pepper bottoms, open-end up, in casserole dish. Fill bell peppers with rice/tomato/spice mix. Put bell-pepper caps on top of bell-pepper bottoms. Add 1″ water to casserole dish. Put casserole dish in oven. Bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes or until bell peppers are soft.

Discard bell-pepper tops before serving this entree to adoring family or guests.

TIDBITS

1) I looked up “fun facts about Turkey” and found the country is a member of the Council of Europe (1949), NATO (1952), OECD (1961), OSCE (1973) and the G20 industrial nations (1999).

2) I guess some people have different ideas about fun.

3) The Turks introduced coffee to Europe during some three-hundred years of invasion. Bad for the Europeans of that time, but really good for us now when we need to wake up.

4) The mighty croissant was invented in Vienna in 1683. Viennese bakers preparing breads and pastries in the wee hours in the morning heard the Turks tunneling under the city. The bakers sounded the alarm. The alerted Viennese defenders defeated the tunnelers and the city was saved. The bakers celebrated the event with pastries shaped like the crescent on the Turkish flags, hence the name croissant.

5) Isn’t tidbit 4) much more fun than tidbit 1)?

6) The Turks haven’t invaded anyone for about three centuries bringing that mode of culinary enlightenment to an end.

7) We now discover Turkish culinary recipes at bookstores and from the internet.

8) There is no more need for war.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: allergies, allspice, bakers, bell pepper, cinnamon, coffee, cookbook, Council of Europe, crescent, croissant, De Lancey, dill, Europe, fun facts, G20, internet, mint, NATO, OECD, olive oil, onion, OSCE, parsley, pine nuts, pistachios, recipe, rice, sea salt, spice grinder, stuffed bell pepper, turkey, Turkish, Vienna, Viennese, walnuts, war | Leave a comment

Shirley Temple Recipe

Posted on April 3, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

SHIRLEY TEMPLE

INGREDIENTS

6 ounces Sierra MistTM or Seven UpTM or SpriteTM
1 ounce grenadine syrup
1 maraschino cherry with stem
ice

PREPARATION

Pour Sierra MistTM and grenadine syrup into glass. Add as much ice as you want. Top it all with a maraschino cherry.

TIDBITS

1) My mother loved Shirley Temple when she was a little girl. She’d go to every Shirley Temple movie if she had the money.

2) This was during the Great Depression when times were truly hard. Movie theaters, in order to get people to come by, would offer free tap dancing lessions.

3) When I was little and went out with the family for dinner, my parents would make me feel important by letting me order a Shirley Temple. I really thought no one could tell the difference between my drink and the drinks all the adults were having.

4) Now that I’m an adult I have something much stronger, a Roy Rogers.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: cherry, cookbook, De Lancey, Great Depression, grenadine, maraschino, movie theaters, recipe, recipes, Roy Rogers, Seven Up, Shirley Temple, Sierra Mist, Sprite, syrup | Leave a comment

Ful Medames – Egyptian Fava Bean Recipe

Posted on April 2, 2013 by pauldelancey

Egyptian Entree

FUL MEDAMES
(fava beans)

INGREDIENTS

6 eggs
2 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
1 tomato
2 tablespoons sesame oil
2 16 ounce cans fava beans
1/2 cup lemon juice
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon coriander
1/2 teaspoon paprika
2 tablespoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon sea salt (or regular salt)
1/4 teaspoon white pepper (or black pepper)

PREPARATION

Boil water. (Hard to do on Mount Everest.) Put eggs in boiling water and cook for 6 minutes for soft-boiled eggs and 12 minutes for hard-boiled ones. Remove eggs.

While water boils and eggs cook, mince garlic and onion. Dice tomato. Add garlic, onion, and sesame oil to pot. Sauté on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until onion softens or starts to brown. Stir frequently.

Drain cans of fava beans. Add fava beans, lemon juice, cumin, coriander, parsley, salt, and pepper. Cook on low-to-medium heat for 10-to-15 minutes. Stir occasionally.

While fava bean/spice mix simmers, remove eggs from shells. Slice each egg into four slices. Pour fava bean/spice mix into bowls and top with egg slices.

Makes 4-to-6 bowls.

Do not do what the song suggests and walk like an Egyptian when serving hot ful medames to guests and family.

TIDBITS

1) On May 29, 1953, Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay were the first people to successfully climb Mount Everest.

2) I read Norgay’s book about the climb in 5th grade. I remember them being happy and having a strong sense of accomplishment, but recall nothing about boiling eggs on the summit.

3) Indeed, I have been unable to find anything that suggests anyone has made any attempt to hard-boil eggs at the summit of Mount Everest. Apparently, everyone is too busy getting up there to even care about making culinary history with even this most modest of dishes.

4) This failure is despite the fact that oodles of people make the climb every day.

5) So many people go up Mount Everest there is a rescue helicopter designed specially to remove injured or debilitated climbers to hospitals. The chopper is kept busy.

6) If they can design a helicopter for this worthy mountain, why the heck can’t someone take the time to boil an egg at the peak?

7) We can calculate, though, how much time it should take to boil an egg there given what we know about air pressure at that altitude. A soft-boiled egg should take 20 minutes. A hard-boiled one should take 35 minutes.

8) Water should boil at the top at 66 degrees Celsius instead of the 100 degrees it needs at sea level.

9) So when someone says he’s boiling mad atop Mount Everest, it doesn’t mean much.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: 5th grade, Celsius, cookbook, coriander, cumin, De Lancey, Edmund Hillary, eggs, Egypt, Egyptian, Everest, fava bean, ful medames, garlic, helicopter, Hillary, Mount Everest, paprika, parsley, recipe, recipes, sea level, sesame oil, Tenzing Norgay, tomato | Leave a comment

Eggah – Egyptian Omelette Recipe

Posted on March 31, 2013 by pauldelancey

Egyptian Breakfast

EGGAH
(Omelette)

INGREDIENTS

2 medium onions
1 tomato
1/2 red bell pepper
10 eggs
3/4 teaspoon coriander
3/4 teaspoon cumin
2 teaspoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
3 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour

PREPARATION

Mince onions. Dice bell pepper and tomato. Mix eggs, coriander, cumin, parsley, and sea salt in mixing bowl. (This is why a mixing bowl is called a mixing bowl. ☺)

Put butter and onion into skillet. Sauté at medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add flour. Mix thoroughly. Add eggs/spice mixture to skillet. Stir. Cook for about 5 minutes with lid on or until eggs turn golden brown on the bottom. Flip the omelette over and cook for about 3 minutes or until the new bottom side is golden brown as well. (Note, it’s okay to use a spatula to cut the omelette in half or into four pieces before flipping it over. If your guests complain about this, point toward your vast supply of sharp kitchen knives, kitchen scissors, and kitchen mallets.)

Serve hot to friends and family and cold to telemarketers.

TIDBITS

1) Egypt is home to the Suez Canal.

2) Dentists perform root canals.

3) In a movie, Marilyn Monroe so dislikes a man she says, “You, you dentist.”

4) Do mimes cry out during root-canal operations?

5) I much prefer root beer to undergoing a root canal.

6) Charlie Root pitched for the 1935 National League champion Chicago Cubs.

7) Shirley Temple was a child film star around that time. She has a non-alcoholic drink named after her.

8) My mother met Shirley Temple.

9) My mother later had me and now you have this recipe. ☺

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: bell pepper, breakfast, Charlie Root, Chicago, cookbook, coriander, Cubs, cumin, De Lancey, eggah, Egypt, Egyptian, kitchen, Marilyn Monroe, National League, omelette, onion, parsley, recipe, recipes, root beer, root canal, saute, sea salt, Shirley Temple, skillet, Suez Canal, telemarketers | Leave a comment

Papas Chorreadas (Colombian Potatoes With Cheese And Tomato Sauce)

Posted on March 30, 2013 by pauldelancey

Colombian Entree

PAPAS CHORREADAS
(Potatoes with cheese and tomato sauce)

INGREDIENTS

5 red potatoes
1 small white onion
5 Roma tomatoes
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon cilantro
1/2 tablespoon flour
1 cup heavy cream
6 ounces mozzarella

PREPARATION

Heat water on high temperature in large pot. While water comes to boil: wash potatoes, mince onion, and dice tomatoes. Put potatoes in boiling water. Cook on medium-high heat for about 30 minutes or until potatoes are soft to the fork. Remove potatoes.

While potatoes are cooking, add olive oil, onion, chili powder, cumin, and cilantro. Sauté on medium-high heat for about 5-to-10 minutes or until onions are tender. Stir frequently. Mix in flour. Add heavy cream and mozzarella. Cook for about 5 minutes until cheese melts and sauce boils. Stir frequently. Remove from heat. (Note, the culinary arts concern themselves exclusively with solid and melted or liquid cheese. I have yet to see a cookbook or recipe that calls for gaseous cheese. Imagine being able to breathe cheese. Warning! Cheese air is really hot.)

Cut potatoes in half. Pour sauce evenly over each potato.

What do you think of this recipe?

TIDBITS

1) In English, chorreadas means “to pour.”

2) And papa is Spanish for potato.

3) While papa is Latin for pope.

4) Don’t confuse your Latin with your Spanish. Pope Francis is not Potato Francis nor does Papas Chorreadas mean Pope To Pour.

5) Saint Francis showed the world how it was good to be poor.

6) I like to think Saint Francis would have liked this dish. He’s one of my favorite saints.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: cheese, chili, chorreadas, cilantro, Colombia, Colombian, cream, culinary arts, cumin, entree, Latin, mozzarella, olive oil, papas, pope, Pope Francis, Saint Francis, saints, sauce, saute, Spanish, tomato | Leave a comment

Updating Mark Twain’s Picket Fence

Posted on March 29, 2013 by pauldelancey

Perhaps you’re worried you guns will be taken from you. Perhaps you want something that will deter a vicious intruder in your home more than your current arsenal of rubber bands, but is less lethal than an assault weapon in case of accidental use by the family. If so, DeWalt has something for you. Look at the weapon to the right. This baby can shoot a 16-D nail through a 2×4 at 200 yards.

But is it any use outside of defending your family from armed attackers? Is it dual purpose like my kitchen mallet that can crush the skull of the robber inside my living room or flatten that chicken breast to make scallopini?

Yes it is. Remember famous scene where Tom Sawyer so convinces his friends that painting a picket fence is such fun they even pay him for the privilege of painting? Well suppose you want to put a picket fence around your front yard. You don’t want one of those faux plastic picket fences. You want an honest -to-goodness wooden one. But gosh you say, nailing all those pickets will take forever with a hammer. Is there an easier way?

I’m glad you asked. Simply lean all the pickets against the cross boards of your fence. Stock your lawn table with plenty of beer and pretzels and invite all your friends who own a DeWalt nail gun over for a party. Challenge your friends to hit those little pickets. After a few beers, they’ll be blazing away with their DeWalts. Over the course of an hour of shooting, enough bulls-eyes will occur to nail your fence together. And with a range of 200 yards you can put up a rather long picket fence. And like Tom Sawyer you’ll be the only one to know it was supposed to be work.

Of course, it must be said many of the fired nails will not hit their targets. Best to invite all your neighbors and their pets to your beer-and-pretzel party. Remember, the best position on guns is behind them.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: 16-D nail, 2x4, armed attackers, assault weapon, beers, DeWalt, guns, hammer, Mark Twain, nail gun, picket fence, position on guns, pretzels, rubber bands, Tom Sawyer | Leave a comment

Hungarian Burger Wrap Recipe

Posted on March 27, 2013 by pauldelancey

Hungarian Entree

HUNGARIAN BURGER WRAP

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 medium onions
1 garlic clove
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1/2 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon thyme
1/3 cup sour cream
1/4 cup beef broth
8 large lettuce leaves

PREPARATION

Mince onion and garlic. In mixing bowl, make hamburger patties with beef, onion, garlic, paprika, parsley, pepper, sea salt, and sour cream. Fry patties in pan on medium-high heat for about 10 minutes. Flip patties over about every 3 minutes. Pour half of the beef broth on the burger each time you flip the burgers. This moistens the patties. (No, no I’m still not ready to use the word . . . moisturize.)
TIDBITS

1) Why does this recipe use lettuce wraps instead of hamburger buns?

2) I didn’t have any hamburger buns. I was just at the store and didn’t want to go back again and the patties were already cooked when I discovered the buns’ absence.

3) It would have been nice if the local supermarket could have catapulted some buns to me.

4) But they don’t have that service and seem positively disinclined to start catapulting anything to customers.

5) Besides what would happen if the catapulted burgers accidentally landed on a diver at a high-school swim meet? It would throw off his dive, give him a bad score and maybe cause his high school to lose.

6) And what if the catapulted hamburger buns triggered the army’s automatic missile defense system? The army’s intercepting missile would hit the buns. The buns would explode. Bun bits would coat houses all over the neighborhood.

7) The army would also assume we were under attack by a vicious unseen enemy. Our armed forces would go to the highest level of readiness possible.

8) Other nuclear nations would see this and believe we were preparing for a nuclear first strike.

9) They’d preempt our imagined nuclear strike with one of their own.

10) We’d retaliate. It’d be the end of the world.

11) All because I wanted buns when I could have made do with lettuce leaves.

12) Lettuce is no threat at all to cause nuclear war. It provides fiber as well!

13) Yay, lettuce.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: beef broth, burger, burger wrap, catapult, cookbook, De Lancey, fiber, ground beef, high school, Hungarian, Hungary, lettuce, missile, nuclear first strike, nuclear nations, onion, paprika, recipe, recipes, sea salt, sour cream, swim meet, thyme | Leave a comment

Venezuelan Hot Dogs Recipe

Posted on March 26, 2013 by pauldelancey

Venezuelan Entree

VENEZUELAN HOT DOGS

INGREDIENTS

1 small onion
1/8 head cabbage
1 3 ounce bag plain potato chips (or whatever amount is close or preferred)
6 potato hot-dog rolls (regular okay)
6 pork hot dogs (beef okay)
mayonnaise
mustard
ketchup

SPECIAL UTENSIL

rice cooker with steamer insert

PREPARATION

Mince onion and cabbage. Smash the potato chips into little bits. My preferred way is to hit the potato-chip bag a number of times with my fist. (Don’t be so enthusiastic that the bag ruptures and little chips fly all over the kitchen.)

Fill bottom of rice cooker with enough water to cover hot dogs. Bring water to boil. Add hot dogs. Put in steamer insert. Add as many rolls as will fit on the insert. Cover with lid. Cook for 2-to-3 minutes or until rolls are warm and soft. Remove rolls. (Be sure to check; over-steamed rolls can get soggy.) Add remaining rolls and cook another 2-to-3 minutes. Remove rolls. Remove hot dogs with tongs or fork.

Put hot dog in roll. Spoon desired amounts of onion, cabbage, and potato chips on hot dog. Squirt mayonnaise, mustard, and ketchup on top of your creation until you are happy. (Eat with the cut of the roll facing up. This is a messy hot dog.)

TIDBITS

1) The recent leader of Venezuela was Hugo Chavez.

2) The United States did not have the best relationship with him.

3) But Venezuela’s hot dogs are great. Perhaps we could show the new Venezuelan leadership how much enjoy this dish.

4) We have good hot dogs as well. Our president could bring their president chili dogs and Coney Island dogs. My their president could give us Venezuelan hot dogs to bring back to the United States.

5) Hot Dog Diplomacy. We should give it a chance. After all, look what Ping-Pong Diplomacy did for China and America.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, politics, recipes | Tags: America, cabbage, chili dogs, China, cookbook, De Lancey, diplomacy, entree, hot dogs, Hugo Chavez, leadership.Coney Island, mayonnaise, ping pong, potato, potato chips, President, recipe, recipes, rice cooker, United States, Venezuelan | Leave a comment

Author Archives: pauldelancey

Llajua – Bolivian Hot Sauce Recipe

Sopa De Mani – Bolivian Peanut And Potato Soup Recipe