Posts Tagged With: cream

Mumu From Papua New Guinea

Papua New Guinean Entree

MUMU

INGREDIENTSMumu-

8 ounces carrots or 2 medium
8 ounces sweet potatoes or 1 large
8 ounces banana or 1½ medium
8 ounces papaya or ½ medium
4 ounces spinach
12 ounces pork
6 ounces peas or similar green vegetable
12 ounces chicken
1 or 2 banana leaves or cabbage leaves* (enough to cover pot)
20 ounces coconut cream total (5 times at ¼ cup) or 2 14-ounces cans coconut milk.

Makes 6 bowls. Takes 2 hours.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

outdoor grill
grill-safe pot and lid

PREPARATION – COCONUT CREAM (If you can’t find it in stores.)

Chill coconut milk cans in refrigerator for 24 hours. Open cans and scoop out the thick cream on the top. Keep 20 ounces, or 2½ cups, of coconut cream. Use the rest of the coconut cream and the liquid in the bottom of the cans to make coconut-based smoothies

PREPARATION – ONCE YOU HAVE COCONUT CREAM.

Wash and peel carrots, sweet potatoes, banana, and papaya. Remove papaya seeds. Chop carrots, sweet potatoes, pork, bananas, papaya, peas, and chicken into 1″ cubes.

This dish is made with 5 layers. Spread ingredients evenly for each layer. Top each layer with ¼ cup of coconut cream. Make the first layer by adding carrot and sweet potato to pot. Make the second layer by adding pork. Make the third layer by adding banana and papaya. Make the fourth layer by adding chicken. Make the fifth layer by adding peas and spinach. Top everything with banana leaves.

Cover pot and place on grill. Never stir ingredients. Grill on medium heat for 15 minutes or until you see juices bubble. Reduce heat on grill to low and simmer for 1-to-1½ hours or until everything is done to your liking. Okay, okay, you’ll to take a fork and peek and the doneness of the various layers, but no stirring.

TIDBITS

1) The stability of the entire world is threatened by an emerging superpower, Papua New Guinea. Hah, you say. Where is Papua New Guinea? North of Australia. What does it produce? Rain and mud, according to Allied soldiers fighting there in World II. What could such a country do? Buy a lot of SPAM or … conquer the Pacific Ocean.

How? I’m glad you asked. Culinary historians know the best mud for beauty care comes from Papua New Guinea, or PNG. The demand for this mud in American and European spas grows fantastically every year. Soon, PNG will be awash with the world’s money. PNG can then allocate its new billions to buy used aircraft carriers, fighter planes, bombers, tanks, and landing craft listed irresponsibly on eBay.

2) This is where the nightmare starts PNG has a population of 4,600,000. (I counted them twice last Tuesday.) Even if the country puts just 10% of its people in the military, it will have a striking force of 460,000. Who has the population, the might to stop them? Not neighboring Nauru with its tiny population of 11,000 and maybe soldiers.

3) Emboldened by this easy conquest, Tuvalu, Palau, Marshall Islands, Kiribati, and Tonga, with their combined population of 260,000 will fall like leaves in a Wisconsin autumn. This disaster will have worldwide ramifications. Does anyone doubt the Palauan contingent keeping the peace in The Land of Oz will remain under such dire circumstances? No, they will go home to fight a war of liberation. The whole idea of UN peace-keeping forces will unravel. Minor skirmishes will become full fledged regional wars. So it goes.

4) Soon, Micronesia and Vanuatu will topple. I don’t know much about them so let’s move onto the Solomon Islands and Fiji–biggish but still smaller than PNG. We cannot let these two nations fall. We cannot let PNG monopolize the best snorkeling sites in the world. Have you snorkeled at Key Largo? Well, let me tell you, the snorkeling at Fiji is much better. And by the way, conquest of these countries would enable PNG to block all airborne and seaborne trade across the Pacific. The snorkeling industry and the world economy would collapse.

5) What can Americans do? Simple. Use local mud! Cut off the funds for PNG’s drive for conquest. Insist on backyard mud whenever your toddler makes you a mud pie. Be sure to ask for good ol’ American mud when getting a mud treatment at your spa. It’s good for your face. It’s good for the world.

6) Use the blank space at the bottom of this page to make a mud drawing. Do other cookbooks let you do this? No, I don’t think so.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Chocolate Egg Cream

American Dessert

CHOCOLATE EGG CREAM

INGREDIENTS??????????

1 1/3 tablespoons Fox’s u-bet® original chocolate flavor syrup
2 tablespoons whole milk
9 tablespoons seltzer water (needs to be cold, needs to have all its fizz, preferably from an unopened bottle.)

PREPARATION

Pour chocolate flavor syrup into tall glass. (Connoisseurs agree that Fox’s u-bet® is the best.) Add whole milk, then seltzer. This should all be done quickly to preserve the fizz. Stir briskly with fork. This is an excellent refreshing drink for those hot summer days.

TIDBITS

1) This tidbit is scrunched by the picture. A picture of a round dish would not have gone so far down the page. So I would have had more space to write longer and more numerous tidbits.

2) However, every silver cloud has a lining or something like that.

3)Hey, aren’t the bags in vacuum cleaners called linings? Are there such things are silver vacuum-cleaner bags? They’d be quite expensive. Only the super rich could afford them. Maybe bags like these would become status symbols. We might even have to worry about our landfills getting clogged with expensive non-biodegradable silver vacuum bags.

4) Oh wait. Silver is so expensive. People would scour the landscape for silver vacuum-cleaner bags, picking them off the sidewalks if need be. These precious-metal bags would probably never even make to the landfills. Our neighborhoods would become cleaner. Our landfills would have more space for millions and millions of HuggiesTM that we dispose of every day. Everyone wins.

5) Hey, why don’t we use cement and HuggiesTM to make storm walls for all those low-lying sea towns. These coastal dwellers would be safe from storm surges and rising sea levels. Best of all, the sea wall wouldn’t cost anything as the savings from not filling our landfills with HuggiesTM would pay for the sea wall. I have just saved Florida. Yay.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mexican Tres Leches Cake

Mexican Dessert

TRES LECHES

INGREDIENTSTresLeches-

1 tablespoon cake flour (1 ½ cups more later)
1 tablespoon softened unsalted butter (½ cup more later)
½ cup softened unsalted butter
3/4 cup sugar (½ cup more later)
5 eggs
1 ½ cups cake flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (1 teaspoon more later)
1 3/4 cups whole milk
1 14 ounce can sweetened condensed milk
1 12 ounce can evaporated milk
1 3/4 cups heavy whipping cream
½ cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ x 13″ baking pan
electric beater

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Use 1 tablespoon butter and 1 tablespoon cake flour to grease and dust baking pan. Add butter and 3/4 cup sugar to first large mixing bowl. Mix butter and sugar together, using cake or medium setting on electric beater, until butter and sugar become fluffy. Add eggs and 1 teaspoon vanilla extract. Blend again. Add 1/3 of the baking powder and the 1 ½ cups flour at a time to batter. Use blender set on cake after each addition.

Pour batter into baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Let cake cool for 30 minutes. Poke cake several times with fork, skewer, or ninja knife. While cake cools, add whole milk, condensed milk, and evaporated milk to second large mixing bowl. (Also clean mixing bowls. As my Grandma Anna use to say, “The outstanding chef’s kitchen is perfectly clean when the dish is served.”) Mix the three milks together with whisk or with electric beater set on fold or low. Pour combined milks evenly on top of cake. Refrigerate cake for 1 hour.

Add whipping cream, ½ cup sugar, and 1 teaspoon vanilla extract to recently cleaned ☺ mixing bowl. Mix with electric beater set on whip or high until topping is thick. Pour topping over cake. Keep tres leches cake refrigerated until ready to serve.

TIDBITS

1) Doesn’t evaporated milk sound as if there should be no milk left? Well, because it’s all evaporated milk.

2) Condensed milk also seems like it should be hard to make. If you were to try condensing a cartoon of milk with, say, a sledgehammer, you’d most likely get milk flying all over the kitchen.

3) Then you’d have to clean up all that milk from the walls.

4) And goodness sakes, you’d be in big trouble if you shattered your sweetheart’s Ming Dynasty Vase on your back swing with that sledgehammer.

5) Best leave condensing milk to the condensed-milk manufacturers. Let them work their magic.

6) But you can safely smoosh a marshmallow bunny with your thumb and index finger.

7) Doing so will give a marshmallow figure that looks like that North Korean dictator, Kim Something.

8) The dour dictator doesn’t have a sense of humor. Maybe we can destabilize his regime by posting Kim marshmallow bunny pictures all over the internet. Maybe we can shake his authority to the point where he flees his country and a democracy takes his place.

10) We will all share in a Nobel Peace Prize.

11) Posting marshmallow bunny pictures can bring down Kim’s Stalinist regime. Remember the power of culinary politics. After all, it was Queen Marie Antoinette’s remark of, “Let them eat cake,” to the starving mobs of Paris that started the French Revolution.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Kartoffel Suppe – German Potato Soup Recipe

German Soup

KARTOFFEL SUPPE
(Potato Soup)

INGREDIENTSKartoff-

1/2 pound bacon
4 potatoes
1 carrot
2 stalks celery
2 stalks leek
1 onion
2 tablespoons butter
6 cups beef broth
1/4 cup flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup cream
1/4 teaspoon marjoram
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 tablespoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

PREPARATION

Slice bacon strips into 1/2″ squares. Chop potatoes into 1/2″ cubes. Dice carrot, celery, leek, and onion. Add butter, bacon, carrot, celery, leek, and onion to soup pot. Sauté on medium-high for 5 minutes or until onion is soft. Stir frequently.

Add potato cubes, broth, flour, salt, cream, marjoram, nutmeg, parsley, and pepper. Simmer for 20 to 30 minutes on low heat or until potato cubes are tender. Stir occasionally.

Become a culinary hero to your hungry hordes by serving this tasty dish. And for those who want bacon with everything, this soup has it. Yay!

TIDBITS

1) This tidbit is not getting done. I made chocolate-covered cake and the hungry hordes are eating it up as I type.

2) If I were to open a dessert shop, I would call it Dessert Storm.

3) The name would be especially apt if I ever forgot to put the lid on the blender.

4) It’s amazing the number of burglars around the world who have fallen asleep inside burgled homes after eating chocolate cake found in the refrigerator.

5) To my knowledge, no house burglar has ever fallen asleep after eating potato soup.

6) Chocolate cake, used by the best home-protection services everywhere.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Papas Chorreadas (Colombian Potatoes With Cheese And Tomato Sauce)

Colombian Entree

PAPAS CHORREADAS
(Potatoes with cheese and tomato sauce)

INGREDIENTSpapasch-

5 red potatoes
1 small white onion
5 Roma tomatoes
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon cilantro
1/2 tablespoon flour
1 cup heavy cream
6 ounces mozzarella

PREPARATION

Heat water on high temperature in large pot. While water comes to boil: wash potatoes, mince onion, and dice tomatoes. Put potatoes in boiling water. Cook on medium-high heat for about 30 minutes or until potatoes are soft to the fork. Remove potatoes.

While potatoes are cooking, add olive oil, onion, chili powder, cumin, and cilantro. Sauté on medium-high heat for about 5-to-10 minutes or until onions are tender. Stir frequently. Mix in flour. Add heavy cream and mozzarella. Cook for about 5 minutes until cheese melts and sauce boils. Stir frequently. Remove from heat. (Note, the culinary arts concern themselves exclusively with solid and melted or liquid cheese. I have yet to see a cookbook or recipe that calls for gaseous cheese. Imagine being able to breathe cheese. Warning! Cheese air is really hot.)

Cut potatoes in half. Pour sauce evenly over each potato.

What do you think of this recipe?

TIDBITS

1) In English, chorreadas means “to pour.”

2) And papa is Spanish for potato.

3) While papa is Latin for pope.

4) Don’t confuse your Latin with your Spanish. Pope Francis is not Potato Francis nor does Papas Chorreadas mean Pope To Pour.

5) Saint Francis showed the world how it was good to be poor.

6) I like to think Saint Francis would have liked this dish. He’s one of my favorite saints.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gateau A La Fleur D’oranger (Orange Flower-Water Cake)

French Dessert

GÂTEAU Â LA FLEUR D’ORANGER

INGREDIENTS

1/2 teaspoon flour
1 teaspoon butter
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar

1 1/2 cups flour
2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

2 large eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup light brown sugar

1/2 cup unsalted butter
1 cup milk
1 1/4 teaspoons orange flower water

1/4 cup heavy whipping cream

UTENSIL

9-inch cake pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Sprinkle a 1/2 teaspoon of flour along the sides and bottom of cake pan. Do the same with a teaspoon of butter. Sprinkle 1/2 teaspoon brown sugar over the flour.

Put 1 1/2 cups flour, baking powder, and salt in first mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork.

In second mixing bowl, beat 2 eggs, but not so much they lose their dignity. Add sugar and brown sugar. Mix with whisk.
Melt 1/2 cup butter. Combine contents of second mixing bowl into first mixing bowl. Add melted butter, milk, and orange flower water. Mix with whisk or blender on cake setting. Pour entire contents into cake pan.

Put cake pan in preheated oven and cook for 35 to 40 minutes. Allow cake to cool before topping cake with whipping cream.

TIDBITS

1) Many American beers are 3% alcohol. A twelve-ounce can contains .36 ounces of alcohol.

2) Orange extract, a fair substitute, for orange flower water, is 79% alcohol. My two-ounce container contains 1.58 ounces of alcohol, the same as nearly 4.4 cans of beer.

3) I’m breaking out the orange-extract. Woo hoo! Party at my place!

4) “Honestly, officer, I only had a one-ounce bottle of orange extract.”

5) The officer rolls his eyes. “Like, I never heard that before.”

6) My Mexican vanilla extract is only 1.9% alcohol. This is why it isn’t as popular at Mexican parties.

8) Consumption of cough syrup soared during the Prohibition Era. Perhaps the alcoholic content of 50%, or more, of many them contributed to this surge.

9) Why didn’t Al Capone simply open orange-extract tasting centers? People would have gotten their alcohol and Chicago would have been spared a crime wave.

10) But I can’t picture him behind an apron.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: