Posts Tagged With: internet

Brisket With Onions

American Entree

BRISKET WITH ONIONS

INGREDIENTSbeefbrisket

2 large onions
4 pounds beef brisket (first or flat cut with fat trimmed to ¼”)
4 garlic cloves
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon thyme
2 cups beef broth
2 teaspoons parsley

Serves 8. Takes 7 hours.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

mandoline
slow cooker

PREPARATION

Cut onions into ¼” slices with mandoline or knife. Dice garlic cloves. Rub pepper, salt, and thyme onto brisket. Add onion slices, garlic, brisket, and beef broth to slow cooker. Cook and cook on high for 6 hours or until brisket is tender to the fork. Cut brisket against grain into 8 or 16 slices. Add brisket to bowls. Ladle liquid from slow cooker over brisket. Garnish with parsley.

TIDBITS

1) No one has ever found the buried treasure of Pierre le Fou, The Terror of the Caribbean.

2) Many historians and treasure hunters have combed dusty books found in nautical libraries. Ambitious souls have prowled bazaars, estate sales, and abandoned castles in search of le Fou’s maps. Still others have surfed the internet for clues before getting distracted by pictures of kittens and even hamster-powered model railroads.

3) However culinary historians believe that the path to Le Fou’s gold and pearls lies through the reading of recipes, this one in particular.

4) First of all, what about the title of this recipe, “Brisket with Onions?” I mean how likely was it that this dish was chosen out of thousands upon thousands of choices. Clearly, this recipe holds the clue to the French pirate’s loot. Indeed, the two nouns in the title, brisket and onions is an anagram for “Be No Skirt Ions.” If that isn’t pirate talk, then I don’t know what is. And “Be No Skirt Ions” clearly means gold. That’s proof you can deny. Now, all you have to do is decipher the hidden code in this recipe for the location of unimaginable wealth. Go for it!

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Doctor Economics – America Needs to Expand

GlobalWar

America’s last bit of expansion, from the 1840s to the 1890s was a great period for dime-novelists and newspaper reporters. Yep, those people went to work with a smile knowing their country was strong and their jobs secure.

Then we gave up the Philippines and various bitty islands in the Pacific. As a result, Americans stopped reading and turned to cat videos on the internet. What should we do? I’m glad you asked. We need to expand.

How? By force? Oh heavens, no. The world these days frowns on aggression and what with all those nuclear weapons stashed all over the world, conquest is a might dangerous.

Expansion by war – bad!

Then how do we expand? By purchasing Leichtenstein, that tiny country in the middle of Europe. It would be a bargain. If we paid each of Liechtenstein’s 35,000 citizens a million dollars, it would cost only $35 billion, lock, stock, and barrel.

But we don’t have that money what with continued fighting in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere. However, these conflicts are really an opportunity in disguise. Simply stop the fighting in these hot spots until we’ve saved $35 billion. How did we get the enemy insurgents to lay down their arms?

By giving them soft ice cream cones. Admittedly your average Joe Desert Fanatic will not stop shooting, bombing, and carrying on forever for soft ice cream. But he will for a few months, especially in those hot summer months, when the sun bakes the sand, bakes you and all you can think of is a nice, cool, creamy chocolate/vanilla swirl served up in a sugar cone.

Voila, the conflict stops for a spell. We spend the savings on Leichtenstein. What are the benefits? First, it helps our national pride. Second, we could use the vast forests of that tiny land to print billions and billions of novels, providing steady employment to thousands of needy writers. Third, we could join the European Union. Our farmers would become eligible for those legendary EU subsidies handed out to thistelwort farmers. But most importantly, our tourists could visit Europe and never leave America. Life doesn’t get any better than that.

– Paul De Lancey, Dr. Economics

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, 

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: humor, international, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Be Very Afraid

jet

I got an internet ad enticing me to fly a plane, no experience necessary. Darn exciting offer,  yet I declined. I fear my piloting would end up as high-impact aerobics. Also, property values along my proposed flight path would likely plummet as soon as word got out. On the other hand, this is a mistake I could only make once.

“He flies through the air
“with the greatest of ease,
“The daring young man
“With the flying machine.”

– Paul R. De Lancey, Intrepid Birdman

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: humor, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Potato Epazote Soup From Mexico

Mexican Soup

POTATO EPAZOTE SOUP

INGREDIENTSPotEpazSoup-

½ pound potatoes
1 medium white onion
1 Serrano chile (2 more later)
3 tablespoons butter
4 teaspoons epazote
4 cups chicken broth
2 Serrano chiles
¼ cup fresh cilantro
½ cup toasted tortilla squares

Makes about 4 bowls.

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Mince potatoes and onion. Dice cilantro. Seed and dice 1 Serrano chile. (For goodness sake, wash your hands thoroughly after handling Serrano chiles.)

Combine potato, onion, 1 diced Serrano chile, butter, and epazote in pot. Sauté on medium heat for 5 minutes or until potato or onion starts to brown. Stir frequently. Add broth. Cook on low-medium heat for 15 minutes or until potato softens. Stir occasionally. While soup simmers, seed and dice 2 Serrano chiles. Dice cilantro. Ladle soup into bowls. Garnish with 2 diced Serrano chiles, tortillas squares, and cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) Respect the herb epazote.

2) Epazote is an acquired taste for many. Some people like its lemony smell. However, its detractors compare epazote’s aroma to petroleum’s.

3) Epazote is a digestive and carminative.

4) And a carminative is….Looks up carmnative….Oh crudness, it causes farts. So don’t consume vast quantities of epazote before a big date or job interview.

5) According to internet, “Often times it can be considered an evasive weed as it can be found growing voluntarily in gardens and fields.” Wow, it can evade people, people who want to pull it because it’s a weed. How does it evade people? By walking? Crawling? Flying? Regrettably the website is mute on this exciting point.

6) The “growing voluntarily” part is exciting. “Dear epazote, would you like to grow here? I won’t force you.”
“Oh yes, your garden looks most inviting.”

– Chef Paul

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com4novels

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Turkish Stuffed Bell Pepper Recipe

Turkish Entree

TURKISH STUFFED BELL PEPPERS

INGREDIENTSTurkSBP-

1 cup brown rice
2 cups water (1/2 cup more later)

1 1/2 tomatoes
8 red or green bell peppers
2 tablespoons pine nuts (see note below for substitutions)
2 medium onions
1/2 cup water
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon dill
2 teaspoons mint
2 teaspoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons olive oil

Many people are more allergic to pine nuts than other types. Substitutes for pine nuts are: walnuts, almonds, pistachios, cashews, and peanuts.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder
casserole dish

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cook rice according to instructions shown on bag. Mince tomatoes. Cut off tops from bell peppers. Keep tops for later. Remove seeds. Grind nuts. Mince onions.

Put olive oil and onion in frying pan. Sauté for about 5 minutes or until onions soften. Stir frequently.

Add 1/2 cup water, tomatoes, pine nuts, onion, allspice, cinnamon, dill, mint, parsley, black pepper, salt, lemon juice, and cooked rice. Cook on low heat for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Put bell pepper bottoms, open-end up, in casserole dish. Fill bell peppers with rice/tomato/spice mix. Put bell-pepper caps on top of bell-pepper bottoms. Add 1″ water to casserole dish. Put casserole dish in oven. Bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes or until bell peppers are soft.

Discard bell-pepper tops before serving this entree to adoring family or guests.

TIDBITS

1) I looked up “fun facts about Turkey” and found the country is a member of the Council of Europe (1949), NATO (1952), OECD (1961), OSCE (1973) and the G20 industrial nations (1999).

2) I guess some people have different ideas about fun.

3) The Turks introduced coffee to Europe during some three-hundred years of invasion. Bad for the Europeans of that time, but really good for us now when we need to wake up.

4) The mighty croissant was invented in Vienna in 1683. Viennese bakers preparing breads and pastries in the wee hours in the morning heard the Turks tunneling under the city. The bakers sounded the alarm. The alerted Viennese defenders defeated the tunnelers and the city was saved. The bakers celebrated the event with pastries shaped like the crescent on the Turkish flags, hence the name croissant.

5) Isn’t tidbit 4) much more fun than tidbit 1)?

6) The Turks haven’t invaded anyone for about three centuries bringing that mode of culinary enlightenment to an end.

7) We now discover Turkish culinary recipes at bookstores and from the internet.

8) There is no more need for war.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Potato Chervil Soup Recipe

French Soup

POTATO CHERVIL SOUP

INGREDIENTSPotCheS-

3 medium brown potatoes
1/2 onion
1 medium carrot
3 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 1/4 cups vegetable broth
3/4 cup milk
2 teaspoons chervil
1/2 teaspoon French four spice (Muntok white pepper, nutmeg, ginger, powdered cloves)
1/4 teaspoon parsley

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Dice potato, onion, and carrot. Put potato, onion, butter, and olive oil in large pot. Sauté potato and onion on medium heat for about 10 minutes or until potato and onion begin to soften. Stir frequently.

Add diced carrot, vegetable broth, milk, chervil, French four spice, and parsley to the pot. Cook for 20 minutes. Start at medium heat reducing to low when soup starts to boil. Stir occasionally.

TIDBITS

1) People use chervil a lot more during the Lenten season than other times as it symbolizes new life and rebirth.

2) People often give up foods for Lent.

3) I always give up lutefisk.

4) Successfully.

5) During all the non-Lenten times as well.

4) I looked up fun facts for chervil on the internet. I found chervil improves the taste of radishes growing next to it.

5) Fun fact, you bet.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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