Posts Tagged With: Mount Everest

Mocha Coffee Creamer

American Appetizer

MOCHA COFFEE CREAMER

INGREDIENTS

4 cups half and half
6 tablespoons sugar
6 tablespoons cocoa powder
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

SPECIAL UTENSILS

2-to-3 screw-top bottles or jars.

Makes 4 cups. Takes 15 minutes plus 30 minutes cooling in refrigerator

PREPARATION

Add half and half and sugar to pot. Warm on low-medium heat until sugar dissolves. Stir constantly. Don’t let it boil. Remove from heat. Add cocoa powder and vanilla. Stir until cocoa powder dissolves and liquid is well blended. Pour into bottles and refrigerate. This creamer will stay fresh up to 7 days.

TIDBITS

1) The bottle in this picture looks tall. It is tall! How tall is it? It’s as tall as Mount Everest. In fact, it was constructed right next to the world’s highest mountain. That’s how we know the bottle’s height.

2) Wow, how did I not notice it? You did. The Tall Bottle Filled With Mocha Creamer Next To Mount Everest story dominated the news for a week.

3) Then thieves stole the bottle for its recycling value. The epic journey of the bottle to a recycling center in Manchester, England became news as well.

4) How do I not remember any of this? Well, other things happened in the world, sports, politics, etc. On Facebook, pictures of kittens and puppies crowded out all other items.

5) Oh, and when the thieves emptied the bottle, they created a vast mocha-creamer glacier right there in Tibet. Inspired culinary scientists are now looking to making sheets made of mocha-creamer to replace the disappearing polar-ice shelves. This is why you can’t find any mocha creamers on your supermarket shelves.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Categories: cuisine, history, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Macaroni and Cheese

American Entree

MACARONI AND CHEESE

INGREDIENTSMacaroni&Cheese-

1 pound elbow macaroni
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup flour
4 cups milk
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
8 ounces shredded cheddar cheese
8 ounces shredded American cheese

SPECIAL UTENSIL

3-quart casserole dish

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 360 degrees. Cook macaroni according to directions on package. While macaroni is cooking, melt butter in pan using medium heat. Add flour, milk, pepper, and salt.. Cook over medium heat for about 10 minutes or until mixture thickens and bubbles. Stir frequently to keep milk from burning. Remove pan from heat.

Transfer mixture to casserole dish. Add cheddar cheese, American cheese, and elbow macaroni. Stir. Put casserole dish in oven. Bake uncovered at 360 degrees for 30 minutes or until bubbly.

This dish is simple and wonderful. You will feel at peace with the universe. You won’t even mind calling your insurance company after dining on this.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses elbow macaroni. Americans use their elbows to eat macaroni and cheese. This dish also has American cheese, the primary ingredient in nacho cheese sauce.

3) A big virtue of American cheese is its low melting point. Be careful, though, of making nacho cheese sauce atop Mount Everest. The boiling point of American cheese is much lower there than at sea level. So it’s not that hard to let your American cheese start boiling if you’re not paying attention; say if you’re taking a group photo to celebrate your success in climbing the world’s tallest mountain.

4) Then when someone takes the lid off the pot, everyone gets splattered with molten nacho cheese sauce. People yell out in pain. The loud noise causes an avalanche. People panic. People jump in crevasses. The Nepalese army gets called in. It takes them hours to retrieve everyone. The Nepalese government protests to your government. The world inches closer to war. Cooler heads eventually prevail, but it is a near thing. So, always employ culinary caution wherever you go.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ful Medames – Egyptian Fava Bean Recipe

Egyptian Entree

FUL MEDAMES
(fava beans)

INGREDIENTSfulmeda-

6 eggs
2 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
1 tomato
2 tablespoons sesame oil
2 16 ounce cans fava beans
1/2 cup lemon juice
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon coriander
1/2 teaspoon paprika
2 tablespoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon sea salt (or regular salt)
1/4 teaspoon white pepper (or black pepper)

PREPARATION

Boil water. (Hard to do on Mount Everest.) Put eggs in boiling water and cook for 6 minutes for soft-boiled eggs and 12 minutes for hard-boiled ones. Remove eggs.

While water boils and eggs cook, mince garlic and onion. Dice tomato. Add garlic, onion, and sesame oil to pot. Sauté on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until onion softens or starts to brown. Stir frequently.

Drain cans of fava beans. Add fava beans, lemon juice, cumin, coriander, parsley, salt, and pepper. Cook on low-to-medium heat for 10-to-15 minutes. Stir occasionally.

While fava bean/spice mix simmers, remove eggs from shells. Slice each egg into four slices. Pour fava bean/spice mix into bowls and top with egg slices.

Makes 4-to-6 bowls.

Do not do what the song suggests and walk like an Egyptian when serving hot ful medames to guests and family.

TIDBITS

1) On May 29, 1953, Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay were the first people to successfully climb Mount Everest.

2) I read Norgay’s book about the climb in 5th grade. I remember them being happy and having a strong sense of accomplishment, but recall nothing about boiling eggs on the summit.

3) Indeed, I have been unable to find anything that suggests anyone has made any attempt to hard-boil eggs at the summit of Mount Everest. Apparently, everyone is too busy getting up there to even care about making culinary history with even this most modest of dishes.

4) This failure is despite the fact that oodles of people make the climb every day.

5) So many people go up Mount Everest there is a rescue helicopter designed specially to remove injured or debilitated climbers to hospitals. The chopper is kept busy.

6) If they can design a helicopter for this worthy mountain, why the heck can’t someone take the time to boil an egg at the peak?

7) We can calculate, though, how much time it should take to boil an egg there given what we know about air pressure at that altitude. A soft-boiled egg should take 20 minutes. A hard-boiled one should take 35 minutes.

8) Water should boil at the top at 66 degrees Celsius instead of the 100 degrees it needs at sea level.

9) So when someone says he’s boiling mad atop Mount Everest, it doesn’t mean much.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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