Monthly Archives: June 2013

Yemeni Chicken Soup

Yemeni Soup

CHICKEN SOUP

INGREDIENTSChickenNoo-

3 chicken breasts
2 carrots
4 brown potatoes
2 cloves garlic
1 tomato
2 tablespoons hawaij (See recipe for hawaij)
1/2 bunch fresh parsley or 1 cup
1 quart chicken stock

PREPARATION

Cut chicken breasts into 1″ cubes. Peel and cut carrots into 1″ wide slices. Peel and cut potatoes into eighths. Dice garlic cloves. Dice tomatoes.

Add all ingredients to large pot. Cook on high heat until soup boils, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 45 minutes. Stir occasionally.

TIDBITS

1) Hawaij is quite close to being spelled Hawaii.

2) Hawaii is the 50th state admitted to the United States of America.

3) In 1950, the New York Yankees swept the Philadelphia Phillies in the World Series.

4) The Philly cheesesteak is a deservedly famous sandwich.

5) Vampires are killed by a stake to the heart.

6) Garlic, though, keeps vampires at bay while being much smaller and cheaper.

7) There is no garlic in my recipe for hawaij. So there is none is this soup.

8) You won’t be able to ward off vampires by showing it this soup. Better to throw the soup at the vampire. Look for your stake and hammer while it’s wiping off its face. Good luck.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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The Darwin Murders: Addition by Subtraction

Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, The Darwin Murders. This event takes place July 20 on Facebook. Click on the below link to find out more.

https://www.facebook.com/events/137774169753258/

And now, a few pictures to inspire you.

TDMdrWhoGuillotineHappy2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or contact Paul at:

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The Darwin Murders: Fun with Bloodshed

Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, The Darwin Murders. This event takes place July 20 on Facebook. Click on the below link to find out more.

https://www.facebook.com/events/137774169753258/

And now, a few pictures to inspire you.

darwinBDarwinCoverFiringSquad2

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Hawaij, Spice Mix from Yemen

Yemeni Appetizer

HAWAIJ
(spice mix)

INGREDIENTSHawaij-

2 tablespoons black peppercorns
3/4 teaspoon whole cloves
1/2 teaspoon caraway seeds
1 teaspoon cardamom
2 teaspoons coriander
2 1/2 teaspoons cumin
1 tablespoon turmeric

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder

PREPARATION

Grind peppercorns, cloves, and caraway seeds in spice grinder. Use fork to mix peppercorn, cloves, caraway, cardamom, coriander, cumin, and turmeric in small mixing bowl. Store mixture in airtight jar.

TIDBITS

1) According to Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, cardamom is “the spice of Paradise.” It’s not clear how he knew that. Perhaps he had an Ouija board.

2) Since Ouija boards weren’t invented until the twentieth century, it’s clear Chaucer had a time machine. I would have read Canterbury Tales in High School with much more interest if I had known that.

3) According to some vague, unspecified, nebulous people, cardamom was the most popular spice in ancient Rome. Rome conquered Gaul. Gauls did not spice with cardamom. The frightening implication is clear.

4) Cardamom coffee is popular in the Arab world. The Arabs overran North Africa, the Fertile Crescent, the Spanish peninsula, Sicily, and Southern France in only 100 years. The conquering qualities of cardamom explains why it costs more than oil per ounce. Oil fuels countries’ economies, but cardamom is necessary for sheer national survival.

5) Cardamom is more popular in Sweden than any other spice. Sweden has never been conquered by a non-Nordic nation. Even nations with powerful armies respect countries with large cardamom stockpiles.

6) Cardamom is the world’s second most expensive spice. Only saffron cost more. I don’t even want to think what a global conflict over saffron would be like.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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One World, One Movie Picks “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen” as its Annual Movie

In its annual effort to promote world peace and culinary awareness One World, One Movie is picking the movie, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. Our goal this year is to have a SalmonFish2million people watching the same movie on the same day. World peace and culinary greatness must surely follow. “You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. – John Lennon

Please click on the below link to find out more about Salmon Fishing in the Yemen  and to see its trailer:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1441952/

– Paul R. De Lancey, Founder

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Meatloaf Provençale

French Entree

MEATLOAF PROVENÇALE

INGREDIENTSMeatloafPro-

1/2 white onion
1/2 red onion
3 cloves garlic
1 green bell pepper
1 carrot
1/2 cup spinach
1 Roma tomato
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 cups bread crumbs
1/4 cup shredded cheese (Gruyère or Doubs, if you can find it)
1 1/2 pounds beef
3 eggs
1 tablespoon herbes de Provence
1 tablespoon parsley
1/2 teaspoon pepper (mignonette if you can find it)
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1/4 cup red wine

SPECIAL UTENSIL

8″ x 8″ casserole dish
no-stick spray.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mince white onion, red onion, and garlic. Seed bell pepper. Mince bell pepper, carrot, spinach, and tomato. Add olive oil, white onion, red onion, and garlic to pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes. Stir frequently.

Put all ingredients in large mixing bowl. Combine everything with hands. Is this messy? Yes, it is. Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Put mixture in casserole dish. Put casserole dish in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour.

TIDBITS

1) The ancient Greeks believed mustard soothed sore muscle, and cured toothaches.

2) Being so much smarter, we now think mustard stimulates the appetite, improves digestion, clears sinuses, and increases blood circulation.

3) Sprinkle mustard flour in your socks to prevent frostbite.

4) Throwing mustard seeds over your right shoulder at your clothes washer and dryer will prevent them from stealing one sock from every pair.

5) Some Danes and Indians think you can ward off evil spirits by scattering mustard seeds around your home’s perimeter.

6) Lutefisk placed all around your home repels all evil spirits, people, and indeed every organism on this Earth.

7) Extraterrestrials will not visit our planet as long as we make lutefisk.

8) There is not a single nation in the world that even considers using lutefisk as a weapon of war.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Banana Peanut-Butter Honey Milkshake

American Dessert

BANANA PEANUT-BUTTER HONEY MILKSHAKE

INGREDIENTSBaPeBuMilk-

3 bananas (best when ripe)
2 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
1/2 tablespoon honey

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Peel the bananas. Put bananas, milk,  peanut butter, and honey in blender. Use “milkshake” setting. Blend until shake is sufficiently smooth for your taste.

This tasty milkshake is a diet buster.

TIDBITS

1) Bees must visit two-million flowers to make one pound of honey. The average worker bee makes 1/12 teaspoon in her lifetime. Bees need to unionize for better working conditions.

2) A 15,000-year-old cave painting shows a human stealing honey from a hive. Oh sure, the little bee visits fifty-five millions flowers in her lifetime and then it’s gone. Honestly, it’s enough to make a grown bee cry.

3) Can bees cry?

4) Honey bees do have five eyes.

5) This makes their going to the optometrist a major event, especially as their command of even the simplest human languages is rather limited.

6) This linguistic deficiency often leads to tragedy. The optometrist doesn’t understand the bee’s buzzing. The bee interprets this incomprehension as an aggressive act.

7) The enraged bee stings the optometrist. The optometrist’s face swells up. The optometrist goes to the hospital. The bee dies.

8) No specialized glasses get sold. News of this leaks to Wall Street. The stock market plunges. Economies collapse. Money becomes worthless. And have you stocked up on toilet paper?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Tunisian Meshwiya (relish) on Baguettes

Tunisian Appetizer

MESHWIYA ON BAGUETTES
(relish)

INGREDIENTSMeshwiya-

2 eggs
5 Roma tomatoes
1 green bell pepper
1 red bell pepper
2 cloves garlic
4 tablespoons lemon juice
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
1 tablespoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons parsley

1 baguette

PREPARATION

Boil eggs in water. (6 minutes for soft-boiled or 12 minutes for hard-boiled.) While eggs are boiling, also boil tomato, green bell pepper, and red bell pepper on high heat for 1 minute. Remove tomato, green bell pepper, and red-bell pepper and put in cold water. Their skins should peel off easily. (The skin of the tomato is the easiest to peel, then the red bell pepper, while the hardest to peel is the green bell pepper.

Dice boiled eggs. Cut tomatoes, green bell pepper, and red bell pepper into small bits. Mince garlic. Combine all ingredients except baguette in large mixing bowl with fork or whisk. Cut baguette into 1″ wide slices.

Top baguette slices with tomatp/bell pepper/spice mixture from mixing bowl. Also spoon liquid from mixing bowl onto baguette slices. Enjoy while you can. They go fast.

TIDBITS

1) About 1920 the French banned bakers from working before 4am. This didn’t give the bakers enough time to make loaves for the breakfast crowd. So they made the thinner baguettes which baked quicker.

2) In 2009, a bird dropped a piece of baguette into the Large Hadron Collider at Cern in Switzerland, causing a shut-down of the system. The NASDAQ stock exchange was twice shut down by squirrels chewing through cable insulation.

3) “Baguette” is derived from the Latin word “baculum,” meaning wand or staff. Baculum is also the name for a mammal’s penis bone.

4) Baguettes are sometimes used as swords in slapstick scenes in American movies. The French don’t appreciate this. But come on, I bet they have baguette sword fights on the sly.

5) In Baguette sword fights, you win if you stab your opponent with your baguette or you break your opponent’s baguette. Baguettes costs money and a shattered one sprays small crumbs all over the floor, making this game somewhat unpopular with mothers everywhere.

6) You can use the baguette as an old-fashioned fountain pen. Simply dip one end of the baguette in chocolate syrup. Again, permission from mother is recommended.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Be an Author in the e-book Anthology, “The Darwin Murders”

Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, “The Darwin Murders.” This event takes place July 20 on Facebook.

1) We are looking for murder or accidental murder stories where humanity benefits from the offing of a certain type of individual. Examples are telemarketers, Windows 8 DarwinCoverexecutives, etc. You decide. No real people to be offed, in real life or fictionally for goodness sake.

2) One submission of 250 words or fewer.

3) Submit with title, author name, and indicate permission to publish.  Please provide two sentence bio. If desired, one or two of the sentences may include links to the author’s sites.

4) We strongly encourage submissions on the date of the event. Submissions on other dates will be allowed but we cannot promise inclusion from those other dates. We might already be going to press or we might just miss it.

5) There will be five well publicized dates when this e-book will be offered for free.

6) Two winners will be honored by mention on Candace C. Bowen’s and Paul R. De Lancey’s web sites, Facebook, and Paul’s blog, and any other way our harried brains can think up.

Let the brainstorming begin.

– Paul De Lancey, co-editor

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Banana Chutney From Zaire

Zairean Appetizer

BANANA CHUTNEY

INGREDIENTSBananChut-

6 ripe bananas
1 medium stick or 4 teaspoons cinnamon
5 tablespoons lemon juice
1 1/2 tablespoons lemon zest
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

PREPARATION

Peel and mash bananas with fork. Grind cinnamon with spice grinder. Combine all ingredients in sauce pan. Cook for 10-to-15 minutes using low-medium heat until it reaches your desired level of consistency. Stir frequently.

Let cool. Put in jar and refrigerate. This will keep there for about 2 weeks.

TIDBITS

1) I searched for “fun facts about Zaire” on the internet. Learn-French-Help.com’s first Zairean fun fact is, “Formerly Zaire, the Democratic Republic of the Congo has since 1997 been torn by civil strife, internal turmoil and ethnic and intertribal war, ignited off by a large influx of refugees 1994 fleeing the bloodshed in Rwanda and Burundi.”

2) Whew! Too much fun for me.

3) While Zaire has been in turmoil, the humble banana has quietly been making the world a better place. The banana helps with: low energy levels, depression, PMS, anemia, blood pressure, stroke, brain power, constipation, hangovers, heartburn, morning sickness, mosquito bites, nerves, ulcers, seasonal affective disorder, tobacco addiction, stress, warts, protein deficiency, carbohydrate deficiency, low phosphorous levels, vitamin A needs, iron deficiency, and insufficient potassium.

4) Yay! Bananas, not just a slapstick prop.

5) Bananeros, “Banana Men,” – were Americans who tamed the Central American jungle and made it safe to grow bananas.

6) I still think drovers in the cattle drives of the Old West were more impressive. Herding cattle had to have been harder than herding bananas.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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