Posts Tagged With: recipe

Lachuch Bread From Yemen

Posted on June 21, 2013 by pauldelancey

Yemeni Appetizer

LACHUCH BREAD

INGREDIENTSlachuch-

1 1/2 slices white bread
1 1/2 teaspoons dry yeast
3 cups warm water
3 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon sugar
3 tablespoons vegetable oil (or 1 teaspoon per bread)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric skillet

Makes about 9 lachuch breads

PREPARATION

Soak bread in small bowl of warm water. Pour water out of bowl. Press your fish against bread to squeeze out water. Again, pour water out of bowl. Squeeze soggy bread with hands to form bread paste. (This is a bad time to caress your sweetheart’s hair.)

Add yeast and warm water to large mixing bowl. Stir until yeast dissolves. Add flour, salt and sugar. Mix with fork until batter forms. Add bread paste to mixing bowl. Form batter by mixing all ingredients with whisk or fork.

Cover mixing bowl. Let batter rise for 2 hours or until it doubles in size.

Put 1 teaspoon of oil in skillet. Heat skillet to 350 degrees. Pour in 1 ladle of batter. Fry for 4-to-5 minutes until batter is golden brown on the bottom and the top is covered with bubble holes. Do not turn over. It is a no no. Repeat until batter is used up. Use 1 teaspoon of oil per ladle.

Lachuch bread goes well with Yemeni chicken soup.

TIDBITS

1) “Bread” is an anagram for “bread.”

2) Okay, that was an easy anagram. Here’s another: red ab. You get red abs by sitting at the beach too long without sunscreen.

3) It’s also an anagram for “ad reb,” as in, “Hey man, what type of ‘reb’ are you?” “Oh, I’m ‘ad reb,’ man.”

4) More traditionally, “bread” is an anagram for “beard.”

5) At one point the CIA debated making Fidel Castro’s beard fall out. Some thought the Cuban people would be so disillusioned with him if walked around with a hairless face that they would rise up and overthrow the dictator.

6) I don’t sport a beard. I have no chance of being dictator of Cuba.

5 Ancient Egyptian men and women wore fake metallic beards to mark special occasions, such as solar eclipses. I have no idea why. Maybe they had it all wrong. Maybe wearing fake metallic beards cause solar eclipses.

6) I’m not wearing a fake metallic beard as I type this. There is no solar eclipse going on.

7) See?

8) And what does “Fake metallic beards” mean? Do people grow “real metallic beards?”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Lemonade Recipe

Posted on June 3, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

LEMONADE

INGREDIENTSlemonade-

1 1/2 cup sugar
2 cups water (6 more cups later)
2 cups lemon juice (might need 8 to 12 lemons if freshly squeezed)
6 cups water

PREPARATION

Use juicer to extract lemon juice or open up bottle of lemon juice. Put sugar and 2 cups water in saucepan. Cook at medium heat until sugar dissolves. (This keeps sugar from settling to bottom.) Stir constantly.

Add sugar water, lemon juice, and 6 cups water to pitcher. Stir with long spoon. Cool in refrigerator for 30 minutes or more.

TIDBITS

1) “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

2) “When life gives you loquats, make loquatade.

3) Lemon zest is chockfull of bioflavonoids called rutins. Sounds healthy, doesn’t it.

4) My spell checker didn’t recognize “chockfull” but was perfectly fine with bioflavonoids. Odd.

5) When I grew up we had not only a lemon tree and a loquat tree in the back, but a guava bush as well. I had a rich childhood.

6) Peter, Paul, and Mary had a hit song called, “Lemon Tree.” The guava bush, in my opinion, has many similarities to the lemon tree. They could have called their song, “Guava Bush.”

“Guava bush, very pretty, and the guava flower is sweet, but the fruit of the poor guava is impossible to eat.”

7) Would Peter, Paul, and Mary still have had a hit song if they had warbled about the humble guava instead? It’s hard to say without shifting into the correct parallel universe. And that seems risky.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Kenyan Coconut-Milk Plantain Recipe

Posted on May 25, 2013 by pauldelancey

Kenyan Entree

COCONUT-MILK PLANTAINS

INGREDIENTSCocoMilkPlan-

4 completely ripe plantains
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon curry powder
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon cloves
1 3/4 cups coconut milk

PREPARATION

Peel plantains. Cut plantains in round slices no thicker than 1/4″ inch. Combine all ingredients (head ‘em up, move ‘em out) into soup pot. Simmer on low heat for 30-to-40 minutes or until the plantains are tender and have absorbed all the coconut milk. Stir occasionally to ensure that all the plantain slices get covered with liquid. Serve hot. If not, serve cold.

TIDBITS

1) Cinnamon is truly a happening spice.

2) True cinnamon comes from Sri Lanka. Powdered cinnamon sold in America is usually not true cinnamon. Instead is really cassia, a similar tasting spice. Fret not, the sky is not falling. You can buy cinnamon sticks and grind your own cinnamon. Take back cinnamon! Yeah!

3) Cinnamon smells great. Indeed, God told Moses (Exodus 30: 22-33). to make holy anointing oil out of cinnamon, cassia, olive oil, myrrh, and scented cane.

4) The ancient folks scurrying around the Mediterranean and points east believed in the Cinnamon Bird. The Cinnamon Bird lived in Arabia and built its nest with cinnamon which it got from parts unknown.

5) The Arabians left heavy chunks of meat on the ground. The Cinnamon Birds would take the meat back to their nest. The weight of the meat would cause the cinnamon nests to fall to the ground. Of course, they could have accomplished the same thing by throwing bowling balls in these birds’ nest, assuming the sons of the desert had bowling balls way back then.

6) The ancient Roman, Pliny the Elder, debunked the myth of the Cinnamon Bird. Nothing got past old Pliny.

7) Economist alert! One ounce of cinnamon could get you fifteen ounces of silver in Roman times. Kinda made having cinnamon toast a special occasion.

8) During the Middle Ages, your social level was determined by the number of spices you had. Hee, hee, I’m fabulously rich! Oh wait, I’m not living in the Middle Ages. Dang it, where’s my time machine?

9) For centuries, European nations fought wars over who would control Ceylon’s, Sri Lanka back then, supplies of cinnamon. A bit like Black Friday at WalmartTM.

10) For a long time I thought Marshall Crenshaw’s song, “Cynical Girl,” was really “Cinnamon Girl.” It changed the meaning somewhat.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Pepper Jack Meatloaf Recipe

Posted on May 23, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Entree

PEPPER JACK MEATLOAF

INGREDIENTSPeppeJM-

1/2 white onion
1/2 red onion
3 garlic cloves
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
3 large eggs
1 tablespoon parsley
1 green bell pepper
1 green chile
1 14.5 can diced tomatoes
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon tarragon
2 teaspoons fresh cilantro
1 cup grated pepper jack cheese
1 1/2 cups bread crumbs

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mince red onion, white onion, and garlic. Add this to olive oil and sauté on medium heat until soft or about 6 minutes.

Dice bell pepper and green chile. Combine red onion, white onion, garlic, ground beef, eggs, bell pepper, green chile, diced tomatoes, coriander, cumin, tarragon, cilantro, pepper jack cheese, and bread crumbs. You really need to use your hands to do a good job here.

(Better yet, get your nine-year old to mix this up. He’ll welcome the opportunity to be helpful while getting his hands messy. Take advantage of this willingness before he becomes a teenager.)

OR…dice and mince all the above ingredients and put them all into the oil to sauté at once. This will save six minutes.

(Saving six minutes is particularly useful if there is an accidental nuclear countdown near your home, you’re the only one with the key to abort the launch with the resulting global nuclear war, and you really don’t have the extra six minutes needed to perform this extra culinary step, eat this meal, and get to the missile silo in time.)

Spray 8″-by-8″ baking dish with no-stick cooking spray. Transfer the meat mix to this dish. Smooth the meat until it is a flat as the Kansan prairie. Bake for about 1 hour at 350 degrees. Let cool for 5 – 10 minutes.

TIDBITS

1) According to The Tales of the Arabian Nights, coriander is an aphrodisiac.

2) We should all absorb the lessons of great literature.

3) Coriander is also mentioned in the Bible. The Bible does not mention any non-culinary benefits from Tarragon.

4) Indeed, The Good Book commands, “Do not commit adultery.”

5) Sometime in the 1600s, two English publishers came out with a Bible with the exciting command, “Thou Shall Commit Adultery.”

6) The King of England fearing for the morals of his people, outlawed this version of the Bible, and heavily fined the publishers.

7) Editing and correct spicing are musts.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Kenyan Maharagwe Soup Recipe

Posted on May 22, 2013 by pauldelancey

Kenyan Soup

MAHARAGWE
(Spicy red beans in coconut milk)

INGREDIENTSMaharagwe-

3 tomatoes
1 1/2 onions
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/4 teaspoons cayenne
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon turmeric
1 13.5 ounce can coconut milk
1 15 ounce can dark red kidney beans

PREPARATION

Dice tomatoes. Mince onions. Put olive oil and onion in soup pot. Sauté for 5 minutes on medium-high heat or until onion is tender. Drain kidney beans. Add tomato, cayenne, salt, turmeric, coconut milk, and kidney beans to pot.

Cook on low-medium heat for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Serve to guests who do not wonder out loud why a dish from Kenya has coconuts.

TIDBITS

1) Kenya grows coconuts. It does! It does! I never knew. I just looked it up. There’s even a Kenya Coconut Development Authority (KCDA). So there.

2) Egypt has pyramids. Mexico has pyramids. Did ancient Egyptians ever voyage to Mexico?

3) I’d always pictured coconuts growing only in islands in the Pacific.

4) But then again, Iceland grows bananas. Iceland is a republic. So, Iceland is a banana republic. So is the United States.

5) Did you know Iceland has a list of approved names? If you pick off the list, the government will not recognize your baby’s name. In that case, you must go to court to win approval.

6) Have you ever bought bananas from Iceland? Iceland has no McDonald’s. It costs too much to ship McDonald’s approved beef and potatoes there.

7) Juneau, Alaska has a McDonald’s. It used up it’s all the supplies that were supposed to last it an entire month on opening day.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Libyan Imthawoma (potatoes in spicy sauce) Recipe

Posted on May 17, 2013 by pauldelancey

Libyan Entree

IMTHAWOMA
(Potatoes in spicy sauce)

INGREDIENTSImthawoma-

8 red potatoes
1 tomato
8 garlic cloves
1 stick butter
2 1/2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon turmeric

INITIAL PREPARATION

Start boiling water. Peel potatoes. Puree tomatoes.. Mince garlic. Add potatoes to boiling water. Boil for about 20 minutes or until potatoes are soft.

GHEE PREPARATION

While potatoes are boiling, put butter in small sauce pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Do not cover the pan. After butter has melted and starts to foam reduce heat to low and simmer for about 15 minutes. Do not stir. (This goes counter to many cooking instincts. Resist. You can do it.) It’s ready when:

1) Someone yells, “It’s ready.”

2) A light tan crust forms on the mostly still surface.

3) The butter stops bubbling.

4) Starts to smell like popcorn.

Pour the melted butter through a colander into bowl. Discard solids left in colander. The liquid in the bowl is your ghee. You are now a ghee whiz.

FINAL PREPARATION

Put ghee back in sauce pan. Add garlic, cumin, paprika, salt, and turmeric. Sauté at medium high heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Add tomato puree. Cook on medium heat for 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Put potatoes in sauce pan. Turn potatoes over until they are well coated with the spicy ghee. Simmer on low heat for 5 minutes, occasionally stirring the sauce and turning the potatoes. Serve and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) I keep forgetting how to spell “colander.”

2) I have no problem is chrysanthemum, antediluvian, or even phthalein. I can’t remember the last word’s meaning, though.

3) When my older son was one-to-two years old, he convinced himself that I couldn’t drive without his help. He’d say, “Green means go” or “red means stop.”

4) I miss those days.

5) And doesn’t “Imthawoma” look a lot like “I’m the woman?”

6) With observations like that, it’s no wonder my son wanted to help me do things.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fajita Bowls Recipe

Posted on May 13, 2013 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

FAJITA BOWLS

INGREDIENTSFajiBowl-

7 small flour tortillas
4 chicken breasts
3 garlic cloves
1 medium yellow onion
1 green bell pepper
2 orange bell peppers
1 red bell pepper
4 tablespoons vegetable oil
4 teaspoons lime juice
1/4 teaspoon TabascoTM sauce
1 teaspoon red chili powder
1 1/2 teaspoons cumin
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
2 cups lettuce
1/2 cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses
salsa (optional)

UTENSILS

Muffin tin or 8″ casserole dish
A lazy Susan, about 24 inches across, if you can find one.
toothpicks

PREPARATION – BOWL METHOD – 1

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Turn muffin tin upside down. Gently push flour tortilla down between 3 upside-down cups. Do this 2 more times. Put muffin tin with tortillas in oven. Bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes or until tortilla bowls become crispy. Way cool, huh? See below picture.

TortBowl1-

PREPARATION – BOWL METHOD – 2

Put a tortilla in each corner of the casserole dish. Fold up sides of all 4 tortillas so that they form 4 bowls. Put a toothpick in one tortilla and in another tortilla wherever they come together. Bake at 375 for 20 minutes or until tortilla bowls become crispy. Also cool. See below picture.

TortBowl2-

PREPARATION OF FIXINGS

Make spice mix by whisking together in small bowl: chili powder, cumin, coriander, poultry spice and TabascoTM sauce. Cut chicken into strip 1/2″ wide and 2″ long. Add 1/3 of spice mix to chicken. Mix until chicken is coated with spice.
Use food processor to mince garlic cloves. Use knife to slice the onion into rings. Then cut rings into fourths. Combine 1/3 of spice mix with garlic and onion.

Use knife to slice the bell peppers into rings. Then cut rings into fourths. Combine 1/3 of spice mix with bell peppers.

Pour vegetable oil and lime juice into no-stick frying pan. Sauté on medium-high heat 3 times . Put each sautéed mix in its own bowl, leaving oil and lime juice in pan. 1) Sauté garlic and onion. 2) Sauté green bell pepper, orange bell pepper, and red bell pepper.. 3) Sauté chicken strips. Put bowls on lazy Susan, again if you have one. Add more vegetable oil and lime juice if you run out while sautéing all the ingredients.

Shred lettuce. Put lettuce and cheese in bowls on lazy Susan. Male a fajita bowl by filling tortilla bowl with: chicken, onion/garlic, bell pepper, lettuce, and cheese. Arriba. (Could you tell I italicized the period at the end of the last sentence?)

TIDBITS

1) It is doubtful there ever was a real lazy Susan.

2) To clear the good name of Susan, here is a list of famous Susan singers: Susan from Iran, Susan from Japan–Is having a last name so hard?–Susan Boyle, Susan McFadden, Suzi Quatro–Okay a variation on Susan but I remember listening to her in college so there–

3) Famous Susan actresses: Susan Cookson, Susan Hampshire–I remember watching her watching her in a Masterpiece Theater series during college. You rocked, Ms. Hampshire–Susan Dey, Susan Littler, Susan Lucci, Susan Oliver, Susan Sarandon–star of the cult classic Rocky Horror Picture Show–and Susan St. James.

4) Famous Susan authors: Susan Cheever, Susan Isaacs, Susan Sontag–I have a book of hers sitting on my bookshelf–and Susan Fromberg Schaeffer.

5) Famous dog of the current British Queen: Susan.

6) Famous Susan mass murderers: None.

7) Famous Susan dictators: None.

8) See? Susans are nice. I can personally vouch for the niceness of every Susan I’ve met.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tunisian Harissa Recipe

Posted on May 11, 2013 by pauldelancey

Tunisian Appetizer

HARISSA

Harissa-

INGREDIENTS

12 dried chile de arbol peppers or milder red chile peppers
4 garlic cloves
3/4 teaspoon caraway seeds
3/4 teaspoon coriander
3/4 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon lemon juice
2 tablespoons olive oil

PREPARATION

Remove stems and seeds from peppers. (Always, always wash hands after handling chile peppers.) Put peppers in bowl of hot water. (This softens and relaxes the peppers.) Remove peppers after 30 minutes. Mince peppers and garlic cloves. Combine all ingredients in bowl.

Store in refrigerator for up to one month. This is one tough condiment.

TIDBITS

1) Caraway seeds reduce flatulence.

2) Moving quickly on, the word Tunisia comes from Tunis, the country’s capital, not the fish, tuna.

3) It’s a fact, Germany was never called Hamburgeria after its import port city of Hamburg.

4) The burg Hamburg is not named after ham. Ham is an English word. Hamburg is still in Germany and is likely to remain that way.

5) Unless of course, the movement of the Earth’s plates increase to such a phenomenal pace that Hamburg ends up being next to Boston sometime by press time for this book.

6) I would like to point out that if the Earth’s plates do move that fast there will be immense worldwide devastation. Book signings will be difficult to schedule.

7) Surfers though would have a great time. Those fast moving continents would generate tons of primo waves. Cowabunga, dude.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Moroccan Spiced Lentils Recipe

Posted on May 9, 2013 by pauldelancey

Moroccan Soup

SPICED LENTILS

INGREDIENTSSpiceLe-

1 1/3 cups red lentils
2 1/2 cups vegetable broth
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 tablespoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon turmeric

2 onions
1 tablespoon butter
2 small tomatoes

PREPARATION

Put lentils and broth in pot. Add cayenne, coriander, cumin, ginger, pepper, salt, and turmeric. Soak for 4 hours. Lentils should be split. (Hey, if you want some to leave slowly, you could say, “Make like a lentil and split.”)

While the lentils soak, go outside and pull weeds. When you come back, dice your onions and tomatoes. After your lentils have been sufficiently soaked (and how often does that phrase come up in normal conversation?) add onion and butter to pan. Sauté the onions on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until the onions are tender. (Love me tender, love me true.)

Put onions and tomatoes in pot. Bring soup to boil. Turn heat down to low and simmer for 30-to-60 minutes or until lentils are tender. Serve to adoring family or guests who are about to go Morocco mad.

TIDBITS

1) You know, if I had a time machine this tidbit would have already been written.

2) Or maybe I’d use my time machine to always go back to the moment all my clothes were clean. I’d never have to do laundry again.

3) I think I’d go back to the moment when that Viking, Haarald, was about to invent lutefisk and give him a crunchy-shell taco. The culinary world would have been better off.

4) Oh, and the rest of the too. Eating lutefisk was the main reason the Norsemen assaulted England and continental Europe for centuries. I mean who wouldn’t feel like killing and pillaging after eating lutefisk?

5) Fortunately, the Vikings eventually came into contact with Moroccans in Spain. While bad for the inhabitants who had to suffer through countless battles to-ing and fro-ing across their backyards, it was a positive boon to the rest of Europe.

6) For once the fierce Norsemen discovered the spices of Morocco, they could preserve their food. They didn’t have to soak their fish in lye, a poison, to preserve it. They could even make Berbere shish kabobs. This made them very happy.

7) And the raids of the Scandanavian beserkers ended. Well okay not right away, but they did tail off.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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