Posts Tagged With: rabbits

My Containers

It can be annoying to not have the right-sized containers for your leftovers. A container that’s too big will take up too much space in the fridge. On the other hand, containers can take over your cabinets. The picture below shows my containers. Some I bought. Some I received as gifts. I suspect still others resulted from breeding like rabbits late at night.

 

And there’s more containers doing duty in the fridge. Still more carried cookies to friends and neighbors.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Mexican Nopal Revuelto (Cactus)

Mexican Breakfast

NOPAL REVUELTO
(Cactus)

INGREDIENTS

3 cups (1 pound) nopalitos*
2 cups (10 ounces)panela cheese**
1 medium onion
5 eggs
¼ teaspoon cumin

* = These are thin strips of the fleshy part of cactus paddles. (Warning, nopalitos from jars can be quite salty.) Drain and rinse before using. They can be found in some local supermarkets, Mexican markets, or online.
** = They also can be found in some local supermarkets, Mexican markets, or online.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric beater

Serves 5. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Rinse nopalitos if they came from a jar. Crumble panela cheese into small pieces. Dice onion. Separate egg whites from egg yolks. Add egg whites to mixing bowl. Whip with electric beater set on high until soft peaks form. Beat yolks until thoroughly blended. Gradually add yolks to whites. Blend gently with fork. Add nopalitos, cheese, onion, and cumin. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended..

Add 1 cup nopalito mix to pan. Smooth with spatula. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes. Scramble the mix for 4 minutes or until the eggs set. Repeat for the next 4 servings.

Serve with green tomatillo sauce (green), red sauce, or salsa.

TIDBITS

1) This dish, Nopal Revuelto, is made from cactus. Cactus has all sorts of sharp needles all over its green paddles. Those needles would really hurt your hand if you were to grab a cactus paddle. Don’t even contemplate cactus diving.

2) So how do rabbits never get hurt by cactus bushes? They dart in and out of the bush while happily nibbling away. Cactus harvesters would really like to know. But the bunnies aren’t talking.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tukasu (Stewed Beef With Dates) From Niger

Nigerien Entree

TUKASU
(Stewed Beef with Dates)

INGREDIENTS

½ tablespoon yeast
½ cup warm water
1¾ cups flour
¼ teaspoon salt (1 teaspoon more later)
1 pound beef chuck, round roast, or rump roast
2 garlic cloves
2 medium onions
9 dates. (If fresh, remove pits)
4 tomatoes
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (2 tablespoons more later)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 cup tomato sauce
¼ teaspoon aniseed
1 bay leaf
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1⅔ cups water

Serves 5. Takes 2 hours 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add yeast and ½ cup water to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until yeast dissolves. Let sit for 15 minutes. Add flour and ¼ teaspoon salt to medium mixing bowl. Mix with fork. Make a small depression in the middle of the flour. Pour yeasty water into depression. Knead flour/yeasty water until you get a big, non-sticky dough ball. Cover medium mixing bowl and let dough sit for 1 hour.

While dough sits, cut beef into 1″ cubes. Mince garlic cloves and onions. Dice dates and tomatoes. Add beef and 2 tablespoons oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until beef is completely browned. Stir enough to ensure even browning. Remove beef from heat.

Add 2 tablespoons oil, garlic, and onion to pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add tomato paste and return beef. Reduce heat to medium and cook for 2 minutes. Stir frequently. Add tomato sauce, aniseed, bay leaf, cinnamon, cumin, pepper, 1 teaspoon salt, and 1⅔ cups water to pot. Stir. Add diced dates and tomatoes. Cover stew and simmer on low heat for 25 minutes.

While stew simmers, divide the dough into 8 small dough balls. Cover with damp cloth and let sit for 30 minutes. Gently add small dough balls to pot. Simmer at low heat for another 40 minutes. Stir occasionally and gently. Remove bay leaf and serve.

TIDBITS

1) Tukasu is a stew.

2) “Stew” is an anagram for “wets.”

3) It is also as anagram for “west.”

4) Culinary anagramists will note that stew can be rearranged to form the word “stwe.”

5) Stwe is rarely used in normal conversation.

6) Oh my gosh, there’s a bunny outside my office window.

7) Bunny wants me to tell you there’s no such word in the English. Not even in medical terminology. Which is why none of the medical TV shows even say, “stwe.”

8) Bunny also says it not a French word, a Dutch word, nor even one in Latin.

9) Why did Bunny help me with this information? Because I feed him carrots and raisins.

10) My fair city, Poway, is justly proud of its multilingual rabbits.

11) Another arrangement of stwe is “twes.”

12) Twes is the plural form of twe.

13) As in, “Shall I take two twes or just one twe to the party?

14) My word! I forget the anagram “stew.”

15) Every word is its own anagram.

16) Like “onion” is an anagram for “onion.”

17) Oh sure it’s blindingly obvious now, but did you know that before you got to tidbit 16?

18) If you know of any real anagrams for “stwe” existing in other languages, please inform me.

21) And I’ll pass on your discovery to Bunny. Bunnies devote nearly all of theirs life searching for rabbit and watching out for hawks. The only real pleasure rabbits indulge in their rare leisure moments is creating new anagrams or finding out about new ones. Bunny and I thank you in advance for your help and consideration.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Cantonese Ginger Beef

Chinese Entree

CANTONESE GINGER BEEF

INGREDIENTS – MARINADE

¾ pound sirloin steak or flank steak
2 teaspoons sesame oil or vegetable oil
1 tablespoon mirin or rice wine
1 tablespoon light soy sauce or soy sauce
2 teaspoons cornstarch

INGREDIENTS – SAUCE

¼ cup chicken stock
4 teaspoons oyster sauce or hoisin sauce
¾ teaspoon light soy sauce or soy sauce
1 teaspoon cornstarch

INGREDIENTS – FINAL

1½” ginger root
3 scallions or green onions
1 cup peanut oil or vegetable oil

SPECIAL UTENSILS

wok (optional, not to be confused with an EwokTM. Although having an Ewok would be cool.)

Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION – MARINADE

Cut steak against the grain into as thin as possible slices. Cut these slices into 1″ squares. Add all marinade ingredients to large mixing bowl. Stir with hands until cornstarch is no longer visible and steak squares are well coated. Let sit for 20 minutes.

PREPARATION – SAUCE

While steak marinates, Add all sauce ingredients to small mixing bowl. Stir with fork until cornstarch is no longer visible.

PREPARATION – FINAL

Peel ginger root. Cut ginger root into thin strips or rounds. Cut scallions into ½” long pieces. Add peanut oil and marinated steak squares to wok. Sauté at medium-high for 3 minutes or until steak squares brown. Stir enough to ensure even browning. Remove steak squares and drain on paper towels. Remove all but 1 tablespoon oil from work.

Add ginger strips and scallion pieces to work. Sauté for 30 seconds. Stir frequently. Return steak squares and add sauce to wok. Stir fry using medium-high heat until liquid starts to boil and steak squares are cooked through. Stir frequently.

TIDBITS

1) America has the Easter Bunny. It is both a symbol of the Resurrection and of fertility.

2) Britain also has the Easter Bunny.

3) The Easter originally came to America from Germany.

4) But Germany hasn’t really celebrated the Easter Bunny for a long time.

5) Germany also started two world wars.

6) Coincidence? Perhaps.

7) Australia doesn’t have an Easter Bunny either. In 1859 or so, someone released rabbits into the wilds. The rabbits bred like rabbits. Soon, rabbits were displacing all sorts of native critters and munching acres upon acres of crops. Farmers hated that. So, Australia periodically wages a campaign against the rabbit hordes. But the rabbits keep coming back. Farmers still hate them.

8) Thus, the land Down Under doesn’t have an Easter Bunny. It has the Easter tilby. A tilby looks a bit like a rabbit. The tilby has great sex, producing eight babies a year. This number is apparently, less than what the rabbit can do. But even so, the Easter tilby isn’t as celebrated as the Easter Bunny is in other lands.

9) America, Britain, Germany, and even Australia aren’t the only nations with a rabbitish animal celebrating fertility.

10) Oh no, the Cantonese region of China honors fecundity through cattle.

11) What is the singular form of cattle? Technically, there isn’t one. However, extensive research –Watching hours of the TV show Rawhide–gives us “beeves” as an alternative word for “cattle.” “Beef” is the singular form of “Beeves.” There you go.

12) It might seem strange for a beef to symbolize fertility. Would a bee have been a much better representative for reproduction?

13) Yes, it would have. Except that in 1884, a British newspaper, The Lion, wrote an article about Canton’s annual Bee Festival. Only The Lion didn’t say that. A misprint turned the celebration into the Beef Festival.

14) Hundreds of thousands of tourists thronged Canton to honor beef., spending millions of pounds while there. The Cantonese government knowing a good thing when they saw it, officially renamed the event, The Beef Festival. Local restaurateurs developed this dish to serve their British guests. Now you know.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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The Hottest New Sport – Rabbit Chess (Kanin Schack)

Chess has always been a laudable exercise for the brain. But is it cute? Bunnies are cute. Cuter than people. Certainly bunnies playing chess are way cuter than two competing humans. What do the humans do between moves? Nothing. Certainly their synapses are firing something fierce, but they move nary a muscle.

However, bunnies hop around while the other rabbit is pondering its next move and this is okay. Movement, oh my gosh. And the bunnies’ cute pink noses twitch nonstop. How is adorable is that?

Mega adorable. Which is why Kanin Schack or Rabbit Chess has taken Sweden by storm. No good Swedes go out on Tuesday after dark anymore as that is Rabbit Chess Night on television. Rumor has it that Rabbit Chess will soon be premiering on ESPN8. I can’t wait. My nose twitches in anticipation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What the Way People Cut Their PBJ Sandwich Says About Them

Life is scary. So scary that we develop ways of coping with our daily world. Some ways are good, like looking both ways when you cross a road. Some responses to problems or fears are a bit extreme, like burning down your house to kill a spider. Sorry, but that’s true; you’ll just get another spider in your next house, if you can afford it. How do you know what type of person are you? How do you know what sort of carbon-based life form is sitting next to you on the bus? You need to know if he is an axe murderer or not? How can you find out? Like right now.

Fret not, I know how to psychoanalyze the person in question. Look at his PBJ (peanut butter and jelly) sandwich. No matter how demented the fellow, he cannot hide his personality when cutting apart his PBJ. Just can’t. Anyway, here are the six basic PBJ sandwiches.

The Uncut PBJ – Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. This PBJ eater shuns complexity. He’s easy going. He shrugs off adversity and generally turns out to be a rather pleasant fellow. Or it could be he doesn’t trust himself with knives.

 

 

The Vertically-Cut PBJ – This PBJ eater can be counted to do what the majority of the people around are doing. This is great when the two of you are attending a garden party. It’s deadly, though, when you are in the midst of full-scale urban combat. In this case, the PBJ eater will kill you. And what are you doing at Battle of Stalingrad, anyway?

 

The Diagonally-Cut PBJ  – This PBJ eater will generally do what the majority does. But he can also think for himself. If all his neighbors are rioting, he’s likely to absent himself from the chaos. He’s apt to be a problem solver. This places him in high demand. He might even become the Chairman of the Federal Reserve.

 

 

The Horizontally-Cut PBJ – This PBJ eater is fundamentally decent sort. She just wants to do things her way. Sometimes she acts differently just for the sake of doing things differently. She can’t, however, abide being forced to do what the authorities tell her to do, particularly if she knows them to be wrong. Consequently, she is the primary fomenter of rebellions.

 

The Double-Diagonally-Cut PBJ – This PBJ eater is brilliant, but may also be erratic. He’s likely to be an impressionist painter. If he’s stable, he’ll be like Monet. If he’s erratic, then he’ll act like Van Gogh. Watch out for your ear. This PBJ may also show a scientific bent. If he’s stable, he’ll design a rocket that takes astronauts to Mars. If not, he’ll try to breed 60-foot tall rabbits.

 

The Squiggly-Cut PBJ – This PBJ eater is totally demented. If we’re lucky, she’ll merely rob, maim, and murder. If we are not, she’ll design and manufacture printers.

 

 

There you have it. And remember, this method is infallible.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations, proof you cannot deny | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Today’s Zombie Carrot Apocalypse

In a startling turn of events, our carrots have turned into zombies. Now, zombie apocalypses normally give us cause to pause and reflect. What makes this zombification especially interesting is that it is happening with carrots. This is unprecedented.

But wait, there’s more. These zombified carrots have the power to walk. How will we be able to make carrot salad if all our carrots up and walk away? That would be a darned nuisance, really.

What makes the carrots’ newfound ambulatory power truly troubling, is that they have become carnivorous. We are meat. This development presents vegetarians and vegans with a poser. Are flesh-eating carrots still vegetables or have they now become meat? The Grand Vegetarian Council is even now meeting in Basel, Switzerland to discuss this matter.

This is one other item. They might be able to eat us into extinction as more and more carnivorous carrots pop out of gardens every hour.

We must not let this happen! We must start eating all the carrots we possibly can. Of course, make the tastiest carrot dishes you can. A possible end of human life on Earth is no excuse to forgo eat eating well. Buy cookbooks. Make those carrot dishes.

Paul De Lancey, on the front lines

* LATE BREAKING NEWS *

I have just learned that the bunnies just formed an alliance with us and will attack the zombified, carnivorous carrots whenever they see them. Brave, brave bunnies, I tip my hat to you.

 

Paul De Lancey, concerned citizen and Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

 

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Paella

Spanish Entree

PAELLA

INGREDIENTSpaella-

l pound large shrimp
4 chicken breasts
½ pound chorizo sausage links
5 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
1 red bell pepper
4 Roma tomatoes
½ teaspoon paprika
2 ½ tablespoons parsley
½ teaspoon thyme
1 tablespoon lemon juice (additional 1/4 cup later)
1 tablespoon olive oil (additional 1 tablespoon later)

1 cup water
7 cups chicken stock
½ teaspoon saffron threads
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 lemon
2 ½ cups short rice

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven
sonic obliterator

PREPARATION

Peel shrimp, leaving tails. Cut chicken into 1″ cubes. Cut chorizo sausage links into 1″ slices. Devein shrimp. Mince garlic cloves. Dice onion, red bell pepper, and tomatoes. Make spice blend by adding garlic, paprika, parsley, thyme, lemon juice, and 1 tablespoon olive oil to mixing bowl. Blend with whisk. (There is a lot of prep work here. Be sure to strike a heroic pose while mentioning this to guests.)

Add water, chicken stock, and saffron threads to large Dutch oven. Blend with whisk. Bring to boil on high heat. Add rice. Stir occasionally. Cook on low-medium heat for 20 minutes. Stir occasionally to prevent rice on bottom from burning. Be sure to keep Dutch oven covered when not stirring. This helps cook the rice on top.

While rice cooks, add onion, bell pepper, chicken and second tablespoon of olive oil to large skillet. Sauté onion, bell pepper, and chicken for 2 minutes on medium-high heat. Stir occasionally. Remove chicken and set aside. Add chorizo to skillet. Sauté chorizo for 2 minutes or until chorizo browns. Remove chorizo and set aside.

When rice is done, add chicken, chorizo, sautéed onion, bell pepper, tomato, and spice blend from mixing bowl to Dutch oven. Reduce temperature to low and simmer for 8 minutes. Stir occasionally.

While chicken/chorizo/rice mix simmers, add shrimp to skillet. Sauté shrimp to 2 minutes. Stir frequently. Remove shrimp and set aside. Add shrimp tail-side up to Dutch oven. Simmer on low for 2 minutes or until shrimp has turned orange and is no longer translucent. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup lemon juice. Garnish with lemon wedges.

This is an expensive dish. Use sonic obliterator on anyone who doesn’t appreciate it.

TIDBITS

1) “Paella” is the Spanish word for “paella.”

2) More Spanish people live in Spain than in any other country. A good way to become Spanish is to have Spanish parents give birth to you there.

3) Sevenish means around seven o’clock. However, Spanish does not mean around Span o’ clock.

4) Rabbits like to frolic at seven o’clock. Indeed, the word Spain came from the word Ispania, which means the Land of the Rabbits.

5) Someone in Spain invented the mop. You will lose a tooth if an angry rabbit hits you with a mop. Be sure to put that tooth under your pillow at night, so Ratoncito Perez, the tooth mouse, will see it and give you money.

6) Mice do not play tennis, not even in Spain, but the Spaniard Rafael Nidal does. He has an asteroid belt named after him.

7) Spain is the only European country to produce bananas. It also has bullfighting. Coincidence? It would seem so as Iceland grows bananas but has no bullfighting.

8) In Barcelona, on St George’s Day , 23 April, sweethearts take a break from going to bullfights and exchange books and roses with each other instead.

9) On May 15th all the senoritas in Madrid head to the chapel called Ermita de San Isidro to prick their fingers with pins. They put the pin in a vessel. This will get them a husband. And if the husband misbehaves they can point to the bloody pin as a warning.

10) If pricking your finger is not your thing, consider going to the town of Buñol for La Tomatina. It’s the best food festival in the world and is held every last Wednesday in August. People descend on this Spanish village to eat tomatoes and throw them at each other. What more could you want?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Potato-Beef Flatcakes From Tanzania

Tanzanian Entree

POTATO BEEF FLATCAKES

INGREDIENTSPotBeefFlat-

3 large brown potatoes
3 large carrots
1 green bell pepper
1/2 ground beef
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon coriander
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon curry powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar

2 or more tablespoons vegetable oil.

makes 12 flatcakes

SPECIALTY UTENSILS

food processor
electric skillet

PREPARATION

Peel and mince potatoes. (A food processor helps immensely. Remember this when your loved one gives you that appliance for your anniversary.) Peel and mince carrots. Remove seeds and mince bell pepper.

Combine all ingredients except vegetable oil in large mixing bowl. The best way to mix this is with your hands. Sorry. (But there is an upside to having messy hands. When your sweetheart asks you to answer the door or the telephone you can say, “Sorry, messy hands.”)

Make patties that are 1/2 cup big. Put 2 tablespoons vegetable oil in the electric skillet. Set the skillet to 350 degrees. Put as many patties as will fit into the skillet. Flatten them slightly with spatula. Cook with lid on for 5 minutes or until the patty browns. Remove lid. (Oil splatters, may I suggest wearing an apron?) Flip patties over and fry for another 5 minutes. Remove batch and start another. Add oil as needed.

And “tasty” in Swahili is “kitamu.”

TIDBITS

1) The carrot is one happening biennal plant of the umbel family.

2) Eating too many carrots will make your skin turn yellowish orange, especially on the palms or soles of the feet. This is called carotenemia. This goes away completely once you stop eating them.

3) Ancient Greeks and Romans ate carrots. No nation or tribe could stand up to Rome’s scary orange soldiers. That’s the Roman Empire grew so big and lasted so long.

4) Ancient Greeks believed eating carrots made men and women more amorous. “Hey, would like to have dinner at the Carrot Auctioneer?”

5) Seems silly, no? But rabbits love carrots and we all know how fast bunnies reproduce.

6) Hippocrates thought women could prevent pregnancy by eating carrot seeds.

7) Current scientific studies suggest this might be true after all.. Eating carrot seeds after intercourse might prevent the egg from implanting.

8) Whoa.

9) The orange carrot was invented by cross breeding yellow and red carrots. I wonder if you can turn yellow by eating too many yellow carrots. Don’t rob a bank after doing this. The police find  with yellow palms easy to find.

10) Yay, carrots!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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