Posts Tagged With: Comic Chef

Angry Man Rants About Causing Us Pain

Angry Man #13

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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One Does Not Simply

One Does Not Simply #$

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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You Need to See Eggs in a Sauna

All people need to relax. So do chicken eggs. They have their whole lives in front of them. What will it be like? They don’t know. Scary. They need to spend their last pre-coming out moments letting their hair down. So where do they go? To a sauna! The picture below show eggs chilling in a South Korean* sauna. Proof you cannot deny.

You Need to See #22

 

* = It might true that North Korean eggs also frequent saunas. I tend to doubt it. North Korea is under a brutal, repressive dictatorship.

P.S. It’s not yet clear why the groups of three thing is so prevalent among sauna-going eggs.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Cambodian Lap Khmer (Beef Salad)

Cambodian Entree

LAP KHMER
(Beef Salad)

INGREDIENTS

6 ounces fresh beef sirloin or tenderloin steak cut thinly as possible
1½ tablespoons fresh basil*
1½ tablespoons fresh mint*
¼ pound Chinese long beans (also called yardlong beans)
1 red chile pepper
½ small red onion
1½ tablespoons fish sauce, Hoisin sauce, or soy sauce
1¼ teaspoons sugar
¼ pound bean sprouts
2½ tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 lemongrass stick or 1 tablespoon lemongrass paste
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
¾ teaspoon prahok, shrimp paste**, fish sauce, or even omit
2 tablespoons water

* = or use 1 tablespoon each of dried basil and dried mint. Again, if your guest gives you guff about this, turn your sonic obliterator on her. It’s okay, you are the master of your kitchen. (See Courgette v Aubergine, 1973.)

** = prahok can be found in Asian supermarkets on online. Shrimp paste is the closest substitute to prahok. It too can be found in Asian supermarkets or online. However, foodies will tell you shrimp paste really is only a distant substitute. Indeed, an entirely reasonable approach to finding prahok is to not use it at all. If some oaf complains about the missing prahok, zap him with your sonic obliterator. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your kitchen.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

large freezer bag
deli slicer or kitchen mallet
sonic obliterator

Serves 2. Takes 2 hours.

PREPARATION – BEEF SIRLOIN

Put sirloin in freezer bag. Push out all air from freezer bag and close tightly. Freeze meat for 1 hour. (Meat will firm faster in the freezer if you put the bag on a metal tray before putting it in the freezer. Periodically check to see if sirloin has firmed. The sirloin is just firm enough if a knife goes the meat smoothly.

If cutting with knife, make sirloin strips by cutting against the grain as thinly as possible. If cutting by deli slicer or mandoline, set the cutting thickness to ⅛. (Be sure to use the safety features on these kitchen tools. (If you can’t slice the sirloin thinner than ⅛”, flatten the slices with a kitchen mallet until they are ⅛” thick. )

PREPARATION – REST

While sirloin firms in freezer, dice basil, mint, Chinese long beans, red chile peppers, and red onion. Add basil, mint, Chinese long bean, red chile pepper, red onion, fish sauce, sugar, and bean sprouts to 1st mixing bowl. Toss with fork until well blended.

Cut beef slices into strips 1″ wide and 2″ long. Add beef strips to 2nd mixing bowl. Pour lime juice over beef. (The citric acid in the lime juice will “cook” the sirloin in the same way as ceviche does for fish.) Cover and set aside for 15 minutes.

While sirloin marinates, remove outer, white layers of lemongrass. Mince remaining green part of lemongrass (Skip this bit, if you’re using lemongrass paste.). Add vegetable oil to pan. Heat oil using medium-high heat until a bit of garlic will dance in the oil. Carefully add garlic and lemongrass to hot oil. (Add sirloin here if you want it sautéed.) Sauté on medium-high heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Add prahok and water. Reduce heat to medium and sauté for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Remove from heat.

Add all ingredients to large salad bowl. Toss with forks until well blended.

TIDBITS

1) Lap Khmer is a Cambodian dish. Cambodian was, as of press time, the most popular cuisine in Cambodia. However, the cuisines of: Paraguay, Austria, Mali, El Salvador, and Luxembourg remain quite underappreciated.

2) Indeed, Greenland, with a cuisine that emphasizes: whale, musk ox ptarmigan, lump fish roe, seal meat, and wild cloudberries quite shunned by native Cambodians. Sad to say, you’ll never hear the following conversation in Cambodia.

Acharya: Hey Thyda, where would you like to eat tonight?
Thyda: I dunno. Where would you like to eat?
Acharya: I dunno, what do you want?
Thyda: I dunno, how about Greenlandic?
Acharya: Great,. I was thinking about Greenlandic cuisine this very morning. But which restaurant?
Thyda: How about The Fragrant Elephant? My friend Jorani says their food’s quite tasty. And it’s just two streets away from us.
Acharya: But won’t it be crowded?
Thyda: Yes, it will. We’ll have to make reservations right now.
Acharya: And don’t forget, let’s save room for fresh wild Arctic berry desserts. You know how much I love them.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mild Tempered Man on Lost Car Keys

Mild tempered man handles things better than the rest of us.

Mild Mannered Man #1

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Archer Woman on No

Archer Woman #6

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: Archer Woman | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tom Yum Soup From Thailand

Thai Soup

TOM YUM SOUP

INGREDIENTS

½” galangal root, ½ teaspoon ground galangal, or ½ teaspoon ground ginger
2 lemongrass stalks, 2 tablespoons fresh lemongrass, or 2 tablespoons lemon zest
5 Thai chiles, aka Bird’s eye chiles
1 tomato
1¼ pounds shrimp, peeled, deveined (36-40 count)
3 tablespoons butter
2 teaspoons minced garlic
4⅓ cups water
3½ tablespoons fish sauce
5 kaffir lime leaves
¼ cup lime juice
1 tablespoon palm sugar, coconut sugar, or sugar
⅓ cup fresh cilantro

Serves 6. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel and dice galangal. If necessary, remove outer, white layers of lemongrass. Mince remaining green part of lemongrass. Dice Thai chiles. Cut tomato into 8 wedges.

Add shrimp and butter to pan. Sauté for 90 seconds at medium-high heat on one side or until the bottom side of the shrimp turns red or orange. Move shrimp occasionally. Flip shrimp and sauté for another 90 seconds on one side or until the bottom side of the shrimp turns red or orange.
Move shrimp occasionally. Remove shrimp and its glaze from the pan and set them aside.

Add water to large pot. Add fish sauce, galangal, garlic, lemongrass, Thai chile, tomato wedges, kaffir lime leaves, lime juice, and palm sugar. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 3 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add shrimp and its glaze. Mince cilantro. Garnish with cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) I live in San Diego. To me, this recipe is printed right-side up. However, if I were to plunge all the way through the Earth and come out the other side, coming out somewhere near Antanarivo, Madagascar, this recipe would appear to be upside down. Oh no!

2) This is because I’d upside down as well. Fortunately, all I’d have to do read this recipe is to stand upright. Going from handstands to standing on their feet, is how people on the other side of the globe adapt to a round Earth. Crazy, huh?

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yoga Instructor Reflects on Massage Therapy

Sometimes Yoga Instructor says things that are so close to what I believe, that I could have written them.

Yoga Instructor #3

Wordle 459 5/6

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⬜🟩🟨🟩⬜
🟩🟩⬜🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

 

I accidentally copied in my Wordle results for today. It looks kinda neat and, for all I know, Yoga Instructor likes Wordle. So, it’s staying.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: yoga instructor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Archer Woman on How to Behave

Archer Woman has boiled down all the rules for model behavior to just one.

Archer Woman #5

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: Archer Woman | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Lemon Sherbet From Azerbaijan

Azerbaijani Dessert

LEMON SHERBET

INGREDIENTS

½ teaspoon saffron threads
½ cup water
2 lemons*
5½ cups water
¼ teaspoon coriander seeds
¼ cup sugar
crushed ice

* = There are only a few ingredients in this recipe, so their freshness is important. However, if you don’t have a juicer or a zester, substitute 2 tablespoon lemon zest and ¼ cup lemon juice for the 2 lemons.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

zester*
juicer*

Makes 6½ cups, enough for a party. Takes 4 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add saffron threads and ½ cup water to small bowl. Cover and let aside. Remove zest from lemons with zester. Keep the main part of the lemons. Boil 5½ cups water. Add boiled water, lemon zest , and coriander seeds to large mixing bowl. Let steep for 4 hours.

Strain the lemon zest/water into jug or other container. Extract the lemon juice with juicer. Add lemon juice and sugar to pitcher. Mix with long spoon until sugar dissolves. Strain saffron infusion. Add saffron infusion. Stir until well blended. Keep this sherbet liquid in refrigerator until completely cooled. Fill short glass with crushed ice. Pour sherbet liquid over crushed ice. Be happy. You now have a nice, cooling glass of lemon sherbet.

TIDBITS

1) If you were to attach the end of a screwdriver to the bottom of your glass of Lemon Sherbet, you could screw your glass into the dining room table. This would accomplish three useful things. First, it would be impossible to knock over your Sherbet, or any other drink for that matter, with your elbow. Second, even an severe earthquake couldn’t spill your cooling beverage spill. Of course, that would be bad if you were depending solely on your screwed-down beverage for your early warning earthquake detection system. Third, you could ask your guests to lift your screwed-down drink. Of course they won’t be able to do so. You then unscrew and lift it easily. Your guests will think you’re Thor. Wouldn’t that be cool?

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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