Posts Tagged With: Comic Chef

Chilli Taiyo (Spicy Tuna Casserole)

Solomon Islander Entree

CHILLI TAIYO
(Spicy Tuna Casserole)

INGREDIENTS

½ pound thin noodles (Chinese or Italian)
2 garlic cloves
1 onion
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 12-ounce can tuna*
4 ounces chili paste*
2 tablespoons lime juice.
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
8 fresh basil leaves

* = If you are willing to order from Australia, you can buy cans of chilli taiyo instead of getting the first two ingredients. You can also substitute the chili paste with 6 very small but quite spicy hot peppers. Do you feel lucky?

Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook noodles according to instructions on package. Drain and reserve noodles.

Mince garlic cloves. Dice onion. Add garlic, onion, and vegetable oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until garlic and onion soften. Add tuna and chili paste to pan. Stir with spoon until well blended. Flatten the tuna. Cook at medium heat for 15 minutes. Stir frequently enough to prevent burning. Add lime juice, pepper, and salt. Stir until blended. Cook for an additional 7 minutes or until tuna reaches your desired level of crispiness. Stir frequently enough to prevent burning.

Add noodles to tuna in pan. Simmer at low-medium heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently enough to prevent burning. Garnish with basil leaves.

TIDBITS

1) This entree is served in a round bowl.

2) Have bowls always been round?

3) No, although culinary archeologists have found many round bowls in Cro-Magnon burial grounds, the evidence shows that Neanderthals used rectangular bowls.

4) Moreover, when experts say that Neanderthalic bowls were rectangular, they were being generous. Not a single bowl fashioned by a Neanderthal boasts of having a straight edge. It’s almost as if the neanderthals didn’t care if their bowls made a fashion statement. In fact, the Neanderthals often made bowls with more than four angles, with hardly any of them being 90 degrees.

5) Please refer to the definitive study on this matter: von Kartofflen, Otto, Ph.D., “Lack of Geometric Precision in Neanderthalic Bowls, Indifference or Straight-Edge and Right-Angle-Tool Technology Deprivation, Prehistoric Research, August, 1973.

6) Many culinary researchers believe possession of round bowls enabled the Cro Magnons to overcome their Neanderthal cousins. Perhaps the round bowls could be hurled farther, like a discus.

7) This discus-bowl theory is gaining more and more credence. One only has to look at Ancient Greek paintings on vases. The earliest depictions show the athletes flinging round bowls. As time went on, discuses supplanted the bowls.

8) In 1673 B.C., geometricians of Sumer-Akkad develop the first straight edges and right angles. People could now dine out and eat off tables! It was the first golden age of dining out.

9) But this golden age of eating, did not last for ever. For in the times of legend, knights all wanted to be seated nearest to the king while feasting. The closer you were to your liege lord’s chair, the more prestige you had. If you sat far away, the more prestigious knights would laugh at you and say “Na na na poo poo” to say and you would hang your head in shame.

10) But then the quite possibly fictitious ruler, King Arthur, thought why not make a round table? With such a table, there is no specific king’s chair, so no one will know how far, in advance, how much or little prestige they have when sitting down to sup. This idea worked marvelously well. Jockeying for position and status by the knights in the feasting hall disappeared.

11) Hundreds of years later, a knight noticed that you could count how many spots you sat away from the king. War, born out of rivalry, would have broken out but for the soothing round shapes of their soup bowls. It was a near run thing. This is why bowls, to this day, are always round.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Round shape brings peace.                                                                       Rectangular shape brings war.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

How to Use, #2, Kitchen Burner

Dear readers,

Today we learn how to use your stove’s burner. You may have an electric one that looks like this.

Here are the two things you must know if you wish to master the art of cooking with a burner.

1) Turn it on. Your burner won’t cook anything unless you turn it on. No matter how patient you are.

2)  Turn it off when you’re done. You don’t want any ouchies on your hands.

Try it! And as always, bon appetit.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: how to use, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Great Arctic Eats – Archangelsk, Russia

Great Arctic Eats – Archangelsk

Do you like to eat well, but you’re an introvert? Do you find social distancing difficult in your crowded, bustling metropolis? Well, I have the place for you. It’s Archangel in northern Russia. It’s perfect for those who can’t find authentic Russian cuisine near their home and absolutely have to turn the thermostat down whenever the office gets above 40 degrees.
As of press time, Archangelsk’s population was 351,000. The temperature was 12º F.
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SPECIAL NEW FEATURE! Top rated restaurant that delivers: Presto/Presto Pizzeria. Click here for menu.
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SPECIAL NEW FEATURE! Top rated restaurant with outdoor seating: Paratov Club & Restaurant
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If you traveled to Russia to get an authentic Russian meal, by all means, make your way to Velvet. People love this restaurant; I can tell by its good ratings. However, what customers raved about is a mystery to me as all the comments are in Russian. Commenting in Russian for the Russian restaurants seems to be a thing for the inhabitants of Archangelsk. It’s quite likely this occurs from the nearly all Russian population of Archangelsk. By the way, the Russian language has a word for everything.
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However, the best restaurant in Angelesk is El Fuego. It’s a Latin Steakhouse where they serve amazing food. No, Latin does not mean the menus are in Latin and that the waiters speak Latin. Rather, this establishment serves Latin American specialties.
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Fine diners who meant to fly to the French Riviera, but accidentally boarded a plane to arctic Archangelsk, can at least feast on Mediterranean fare at restaurant Rika where they serve beautiful food at a great price. Although you may wish to sample Restaurant Pochtovaya Kontora 1786. It also serves Mediterranean cuisine. However this restaurant is known for good food AND comfy seats. With all that, I am at a loss to know why Poctovaya Kontora 1786 doesn’t score higher than Rika.
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Hungry travelers who meant to fly to the French Riviera but ended up here can also drown their sorrows in alcohol at the gastropub Lock Stock Pub where they serve excellent beers and good food.
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What whirlwind tour of frigid Archangelsk would be complete without dining on the fine Czech dining to be had at Stare Mesto? One customer summed his experience up by simply saying, “The Meat.” What more do you need to know?
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Finally, don’t let your culinary adventure of the pizzeria capital of Arctic Russia end without visiting Dodo Pizza. Its customers can’t stop raving about it in Russian.
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In my mind, the most exciting thing to see in Archangelsk is a British Tank Mark V from World War I. How it got here beats me. Did it break through German lines in France and simply through lack of orders keep going until it ran out of gas in northern Russia? How did it manage to go so far on one tank of gas? How did the German air force and army not even notice the tank plodding ever forward on its epic journey across nearly all of Europe? Disappointingly though, it’s enclosed in glass. You may not take it for a spin.

The Small Korela Wooden Architecture and Folk Art Museum comes highly rated. It’s unclear if: the museum is small in number of buildings, if it’s buildings are actually small as in three-feet tall, or if it’s named after Ms. Korela Wooden who was small. If you go, please let me know.

Visit Archangelsk Gastiry Dvory, This museum tells the story of the area through stone objects, bone carvings, Middle Ages’ stuff, church icons, and other stuff. This is a must-see stop for lovers of stuff.

People who love to ride horses should go on the Horse Lovers Tours. The name says it all, doesn’t it?

Jazz lovers will feel at home at Jazz Club JAZZ WORKSHOP. I don’t know why jazz workshop is completely capitalized. Perhaps their caps-lock button got stuck.

Similarly, lovers of puppet theater, must visit the Puppet Theater.

Many fine churches and monasteries adorn Archangelsk. Be sure to visit the Holy Trinity Antony of Siya.

Northern Tourist Company provides a multi-day historical-and-heritage tours.

As always, “Good eating. Good traveling.” See the city’s points of interest, the countryside, and snow.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Arctic eats, international, things to see and do | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hitler Hates His Printer

The war is going badly.
His printer won’t work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click on the link below to hear video.

https://www.captiongenerator.com/2151827/Hitler-Hates-His-Printer?fbclid=IwAR14IgyONZnDyBZV0sAX2IPGJoTrC2OwzVCnXCNnUZ1os2stqVEnPTGFwYo#.YDhOGmAwZWk.facebook

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor, video | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Solar Power at the South Pole

Solar power only works one day a year at the South Pole.

 

But you can get a lot done during that day. Just dress appropriately.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

We Need to Put Tacos on Mars

Sure, we all appreciate the great efforts and brilliance of NASA in placing robotic rovers on Mars. However, I would hazard a guess that more people love tacos than robotic rovers. Furthermore, as of press time, Earth is the only planet with tacos. What if there’s a disaster here and Earth’s survivors have to scurry to Mars? My guess is that, in their haste, they would forget to pack tacos. And they would want tacos once they got there. There’s nothing like a taco to take way the sadness of fleeing nuclear annihilation or something like that.

Let’s plan ahead! Let’s leave tacos on the Red Planet. And as always, tacos improve the neighborhood.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, food, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Listen to Radio Stations All Over the World

Listen to radio stations all over the world by clicking on the following link:

http://radio.garden/live/toulouse/radiopresence

 

I just listened to Icelandic hip hop by going to this link and clicking on a green dot in Iceland.

 

Occasionally, a station to you can interfere with the far-flung one you want to listen to, especially if they have the same frequency. But in general, this link is way cool. Way cool, way cool, way cool.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hummus

Jordanian Appetizer

HUMMUS

INGREDIENTS

1½ pounds canned chickpeas
½ cup tahini
3 tablespoons olive oil
¼ cup fresh lemon juice
1 garlic clove
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor

Makes 3 cups. Takes 15 minutes.

PREPARATION

Drain water from canned chick peas and reserve. Add all ingredients except reserved water to food processor. Blend until smooth. Add reserved water and blend again until you get a medium-thick paste.

TIDBITS

1) Hummus is an anagram for Mumu HS.

2) Mumu High School is home of the Fighting Mumus.

3) Michael Jordan, the basketball legend, was never a Fighting Mumu. His high school was Laney in North Carolina.

4) Mr. Jordan did not make his school’s varsity basketball team in his sophomore year.

5) I’m sure he could have made varsity basketball his very first year at Mumu High.

6) MJ’s relegation to junior varsity rankled deeply. He channeled his anger into a ferocious desire to be the best. No basketball player has ever possessed a great desired to succeed than he.

7) However, he could have made the lackluster Fighting Mumus without a minute of practice. He would have had no need to tap his astounding drive. Even worse, could he have braved crowds tittering at him and his teams dressed head to toe in mumus? He might have abandoned basketball altogether. Basketball fans everywhere can be grateful for his momentary setback at Laney High.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How To Use, #1, The Kitchen Timer

Dear readers,

Today we learn to use the kitchen timer. You may have one that looks like this.

Here are the two things you must know if you wish to master the art of cooking with a kitchen timer. Or so a friend has told me.

1) Get a loud one. You won’t hear a quiet timer if you’re in a room far, far away from the kitchen looking a pictures of cats on FacebookTM. The alarm will go off unnoticed. The oven will continue baking, eventually turning your once magnificent creation into charcoal.

2)  After setting the timer, it’s absolutely essential to start it going. Having the timer remain at 20:00 will not help you at all.

Try this! And as always, bon appetit.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Shrimp in Chocolate Sauce

Spanish Entree

SHRIMP IN CHOCOLATE SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

2 garlic cloves
1 small onion
2 tablespoons olive oil
½ cup beef, fish or vegetable stock
1 pound jumbo shrimp (16 count), peeled and deveined
2 tablespoons sherry or red wine
½ teaspoon (2 squares) bittersweet chocolate
⅛ teaspoon pepper
⅛ teaspoon salt

Serves 2. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Mince garlic and onion. Add 2 tablespoons olive oil, garlic, and onion to pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until garlic and onion soften. Stir frequently. While onion sautées, add beef stock to pot. Cook stock on medium-high heat for 3 minutes. Add stock to sautéed onion. Heat sautéed onion/stock at medium heat for 5 minutes or until liquid reduces by half. Reduce heat to lowest level and simmer.

Add enough water to cover shrimp to pot. Boil water at high heat. Add shrimp. Boil for 3 minutes or until shrimp turns pink or orange. Remove shrimp with slotted spoon. While shrimp boils, add sherry and chocolate to tiny pot. Simmer on low-medium heat for 3 minutes or until chocolate melts. Stir frequently.

Add shrimp to plate. Sprinkle with pepper and salt. Ladle sautéed onion/beef stock over shrimp. Ladle chocolate sauce over all.

TIDBITS

1) Some dishes evolve over time. Pies are an example of this, Their ingredients change over time. Spelt flour would become wheat before finally settling on the often used white flour.

2) Other culinary creations, such as this one, are born in an instant. Culinary historians note that a food fight broke out at the main cafeteria at Revelle College, UCSD, on April 1, 1977. Tired of an never ending succession of shrimp dishes, the students took to tossing the crustaceans. Shrimp went everywhere. Some landed in the chocolate sauce.

3) Shrimp in chocolate sauce tasted great. Pedro Martinez, a bystander, tasted the chocolate coated shrimp. He brought the idea back with him to Spain and opened a restaurant, El Camaron Loco. Just recently, it obtained its third MichelinTM star. Now, Spanish cuisine is the envy of the world.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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