Posts Tagged With: Tanzania

Chispi Mayai (French Fry Omelette)

Tanzanian Entree

CHIPSI MAYAI
(French Fry Omelette)

INGREDIENTS

1 tablespoon fresh coriander*
1 small onion*
3 eggs
⅛ teaspoon pepper*
¼ teaspoon salt*
½ cup vegetable oil (½ tablespoon later)
2 pounds potatoes

SPECIAL UTENSIL

no-stick pan or spray pan or no-stick spray before adding egg mixture.
x-ray vision

* = These ingredients are all optional. You have an unparalleled opportunity to create you own unique chipsi mayai. Go for it. Go for gold.

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Dice coriander and onion. Add eggs to mixing bowl. Beat with whisk or fork until well blended. Add coriander, onion, pepper, and salt. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended.

Cut potatoes into French fries. Add ½ cup vegetable oil to pan. Heat oil at high heat until a tiny piece of French fry in the oil starts to dance. Carefully add French fries. (Hot oil is nasty when it splatters.) Fry French fries for 10 minutes until they start to brown. Stir occasionally. Remove fries. Drain oil from pan. Add fries and ½ tablespoon oil to a second, unused pan.

Ladle coriander/onion/egg mixture evenly over fries. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium heat or until bottom side is golden brown. (X-ray vision is helpful here.) Spray plate with no-stick spray. Then place plate over pan. Hold plate on pan while flipping pan upside down. The half-cooked omelette will now be upside down. Slide omelette back into pan to cook the other side. Cook for another 3 minutes or until this side too is golden brown.

Goes well with kachumbari (an East African salad), ketchup, tomato sauce, or chili sauce.

TIDBITS

1) You wake up at 3 a.m. to whispering in the kitchen. You sit up in bed. As you do so, the bed frame creaks. The little voices fall quiet. Silence, there is silence. You lie down or perhaps lay down; this is a miserable verb to conjugate. Nervous little laughter emanates from the kitchen. Then more whispering. This time it’s a little more rapid. Does it have a nasty tone? Yes, yes, it does.

2) Post traumatic stress from watching all Friday 13th(TM) makes your heart race. You get out of bed, oh so carefully. Don’t make any noise. Tiptoe to the closet. Get that baseball bat. Go the kitchen. Turn on the light.

3) Dozens of russet potatoes shriek. Their eyes are on you. It’s uncanny how they don’t blink. Is it because of an evolutionary dead end or because they’re tough?

4) They’re wearing potato panty house over themselves. Oh my gosh, your potatoes are going bad. You raise the baseball bat.

5) A potato rolls with amazing speed and strikes your shin. Ow. Another spud rolls on top of that. And then another and another until one has shoved itself into your mouth. You can’t breathe. You drop your bat.

6) In your panic, your stagger to the kitchen-utensil drawer. Your hand flails as you grab for anything to fight off your rogue, murderous tubers.

7) As contrived luck would have it, you latch onto a potato peeler.

8) The potatoes gasp in horror, drop off you and roll to a corner. You julienne the whimpering spuds one by one into majestic, harmless French fries.

9) What to do with all those fries? Why, make this entree, Chipsi Mayai.

10) Indeed, culinary historians believe Chipsi Mayai came about, in Tanzania, because of repeated potato uprisings.

11) Indeed, it is for this very reason that it is illegal to have more than two pounds of potatoes in Tanzanian homes.

12) Don’t try to cheat and say you have two pounds of taters when you actually have three. The phrase “The Tanzanian Potato Police” is a byword for terror.

13) Look at the potatoes below. Are they about to go bad? Don’t take chances. Cook them now.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Potato-Beef Flatcakes From Tanzania

Tanzanian Entree

POTATO BEEF FLATCAKES

INGREDIENTSPotBeefFlat-

3 large brown potatoes
3 large carrots
1 green bell pepper
1/2 ground beef
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon coriander
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon curry powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar

2 or more tablespoons vegetable oil.

makes 12 flatcakes

SPECIALTY UTENSILS

food processor
electric skillet

PREPARATION

Peel and mince potatoes. (A food processor helps immensely. Remember this when your loved one gives you that appliance for your anniversary.) Peel and mince carrots. Remove seeds and mince bell pepper.

Combine all ingredients except vegetable oil in large mixing bowl. The best way to mix this is with your hands. Sorry. (But there is an upside to having messy hands. When your sweetheart asks you to answer the door or the telephone you can say, “Sorry, messy hands.”)

Make patties that are 1/2 cup big. Put 2 tablespoons vegetable oil in the electric skillet. Set the skillet to 350 degrees. Put as many patties as will fit into the skillet. Flatten them slightly with spatula. Cook with lid on for 5 minutes or until the patty browns. Remove lid. (Oil splatters, may I suggest wearing an apron?) Flip patties over and fry for another 5 minutes. Remove batch and start another. Add oil as needed.

And “tasty” in Swahili is “kitamu.”

TIDBITS

1) The carrot is one happening biennal plant of the umbel family.

2) Eating too many carrots will make your skin turn yellowish orange, especially on the palms or soles of the feet. This is called carotenemia. This goes away completely once you stop eating them.

3) Ancient Greeks and Romans ate carrots. No nation or tribe could stand up to Rome’s scary orange soldiers. That’s the Roman Empire grew so big and lasted so long.

4) Ancient Greeks believed eating carrots made men and women more amorous. “Hey, would like to have dinner at the Carrot Auctioneer?”

5) Seems silly, no? But rabbits love carrots and we all know how fast bunnies reproduce.

6) Hippocrates thought women could prevent pregnancy by eating carrot seeds.

7) Current scientific studies suggest this might be true after all.. Eating carrot seeds after intercourse might prevent the egg from implanting.

8) Whoa.

9) The orange carrot was invented by cross breeding yellow and red carrots. I wonder if you can turn yellow by eating too many yellow carrots. Don’t rob a bank after doing this. The police find  with yellow palms easy to find.

10) Yay, carrots!

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tanzanian Mango Cream Recipe

Tanzanian Dessert

MANGO CREAM

INGREDIENTSMangoCr-

2 mangoes
1 1/3 cup sugar
1 cup heavy cream

PREPARATION

Peel mangoes. Cut fleshy part of mango in blender. Puree mango in blender. Put sugar and heavy cream in mixing bowl. Whip cream with whisk or electric beater until sugar dissolves and cream thickens. Pour pureed mango into mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until all is uniformly blended.

TIDBITS

1) Mango is not a palindrome.

2) However, it is anagram for Ma Nog.

3) Ma Nog led the extended Nog family of Tanzania from 1869 to 1914 and in 1888 developed egg nog. It was fantastic! The whole world took notice! The whole world loved egg nog! They all wanted it! Everyone ended sentences with exclamation points!

3) The late 1800s was best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the age of spiced dessert drinks. It was the age of militaristic imperialism.

4) In 1885, Germany invaded Tanzanzia, then Tanganyika, to secure the supply of Ma Nog’s egg nog. France and Britain the other big colonial powers resented Germany rolly polly Ma Nog egg monopoly.

5) Relations festered for decades between Germany and the Franco-British egg-nog alliance. War War One erupted in 1914. Supposedly it was because the Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated but newly declassified documents prove decisively the Tanzania egg nog cause.

6) Millions died in World War One. This war spawned a sequel, World War Two. Millions died in that war as well.

7) But in 1961 Tanzania became independent. It’s peace loving government with the kind acquiesence of Ma Nog’s grandchildren posted her delicious egg nog recipe in all the prestigious culinary journals.

8) We haven’t had a global war since. Yay for Tanzania and egg nog.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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