Posts Tagged With: bacon

Hot Chocolate

Posted on January 13, 2014 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

HOT CHOCOLATE

INGREDIENTSHotChocolate-

4 ounces semisweet chocolate (chips or squares)
4cups milk
1/2 cup sugar

PREPARATION

Add all ingredients to saucepan. Heat with medium heat. (Whoa! Heating with heat. That’s just crazy enough to work.) Cook until chocolate has completely melted and liquid is just ready to boil. Stir frequently.

Use an electric or hand beater on hot chocolate if you wish to make it frothy. Mini marshmallows and whipped cream make excellent toppings.

TIDBITS

1) If it weren’t for chocolate, we probably wouldn’t have microwaves. Decades ago, the chocolate bar in Percy Spencer’s pocket melted when he got close to the microwaves of a magnetron. Instead of saying yuck, Percy got excited. He placed an egg next to the magnetron. The egg cooked so fast that it exploded. The synapses in Percy’s brain fired at a prodigious rate. The research on the kitchen microwave began.

2) The good feelings to your brain and body from eating chocolate last four times longer than from an amorous kiss. Indeed, pollsters in Britain found that 50% of women love chocolate more than sex. This guys, is why you give your dates a box of chocolates rather than a package of lutefisk.

3) Eating chocolate multiple times a week greatly reduces the risk of fatal heart disease.

4) Chocolate is a natural antidepressant.

5) A milk chocolate bar has ten fewer calories than a bag of potato chips.

5) So chocolate gave a boost to the advancement of science, provides for an enhanced love life, protects your health, keeps you from being sad, and is better for your figure than potato chips. What more do you want? Why can’t our government be more like chocolate?

6) It can. It can. The Bacon & Chocolate Party was formed in 2012 and is dedicated to promoting the health giving properties of chocolate and bacon and to ensure ample supplies of these wonderful foods.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Arepas, Venezuelan Griddle Cakes

Posted on January 10, 2014 by pauldelancey

Venezuelan Entree

AREPAS
(griddle cakes)

INGREDIENTSArepas-

2 cups masa harina (or masarepa or white cornmeal)
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups warm water
1 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil (or more as needed)
no-stick cooking spray
1 cup queso blanco (or mozzarella)
no-stick spray

Maybe a bit more masa harina or water depending on the dough.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

baking sheet

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine masa harina and salt in large mixing bowl. Add warm water. Mix with spoon. If dough is dry, add a bit more water. If dough is wet, add a bit more masa harina. Dough should be easy to handle and not stick to your hands. Let dough sit for 10-to-15 minutes.

Divide dough into 16 equally big balls. Flatten balls with your fingers, making dough circles about 1/2″ thick. and 2″ across. Add vegetable oil to skillet. Add about 4 dough circles, arepas, to skillet. Cook arepas on medium heat for 3-to-5 minutes on each side until they just begin to brown and blister. Repeat for all arepas.

Remove and open arepas. Slice open arepas and fill them with 1 tablespoon queso blanco. Close arepas. Spray baking sheet with no-stick cooking spray. Put sheet with arepas in oven. Bake arepas at 350 degrees for 10-to-15 minutes or until they puff up or turn golden brown. Remove from oven.

Diced green chiles also taste great inside an arepa. Be adventuresome with the fillings.

TIDBITS

1) In September, 2013, I ran for the position of El Presidente of Venezuela. My running mate was the talented author, Candace C. Bowen.

3) Oh, Bacon & Chocolate Party lost badly in Venezuela. We suspect massive bribes to the electoral commission by the winning candidate. An alternative explanation is that our tactic of campaigning to non-Venezuelans was flawed. Moreover, our campaign chest of $0.00 often proved a hindrance to effective electioneering.

4) We are sadder, but wiser politicians. This experience will help us when we run for president and vice president of the United States of America in 2016.

5) Bacon & Chocolate Party, https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty, strives to promote prosperity and world peace by ensuring plentiful and affordable supplies of bacon and chocolate. We are against GMO foods and are friends of the bees.

6) Okay, we are not great friends of killer bees. In fact, we generally run away from them.

7) Whatever happened to the big killer-bee scare of a few decades ago? Did they get lost? Did they have trouble entering a destination into their bee-sized GPS units and turned around and headed by mistake to frigid Tierra del Fuego at the tip of South America?

8) This seems a mite far fetched. They probably mated with contented bees to produce a new strain of irritable bees. Cranky bees sure, but not angry to kill anyone.

9) I get cranky when I don’t get enough sleep. Do you think bees sting people because they are cranky from a lack of sleep as well? Maybe their sleep is so light that they skip their dream cycles. Maybe we should put machines that play soothing music near their hives.

10) I see a Nobel Prize for Agriculture in my future.

11) What do bees dream about? They’re not telling us.

12) Dream, Dream, Dream was a great song by the Everly Brothers.

13) The Aaron Brothers played Major League Baseball. Hank Aaron hit 755 home runs. His brother Tommie hit 13. The Everly Brothers hit zero Major-League home runs and none in the minors leagues for the that matter. However, the Everly Brothers had many more hit songs than the Aarons.

14) Hank Aaron did have a candy bar named after him. Advantage Aaron brothers.

15) Most brothers enjoy honey. Honey is made by bees. Bacon & Chocolate Party looks out for the welfare of bees.

16) Bacon & Chocolate, promoting brotherly love since 2013.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chivito, Uruguayan Sandwich

Posted on December 17, 2013 by pauldelancey

Uruguayan Entree

CHIVITO

INGREDIENTSChivito-

2 5 ounce steaks (London-broil, rib-eye)
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 slices bacon
1 onion
4 hard rolls (Portuguese, Kaiser, Italian)
1/4 cup mayonnaise
4 or 8 eggs
4 slices ham
4 slices Provolone cheese
4 leaves lettuce
1 tomato

PREPARATION

Fry bacon on medium-high heat until crispy. Remove bacon. Slice onion into thin rings. Sauté onion slices in bacon fat on medium-high heat for 4 minutes or until onion is tender. Remove onion slices and put on plate with towel to remove grease.

While onion is sautéing, trim steak and ham slices until they fit the size of the hard roll. Sprinkle each steak pieces with pepper and salt. Put the steak in pan. Sauté steak in bacon grease on medium heat for 2 minutes on each side or until it reaches your desired level of doneness. Remove steak. Add ham pieces to pan. Sauté ham in bacon grease on medium heat for 2 minutes on each side.

Toast top and bottom halves of hard rolls. While rolls are toasting, slice tomato. Fry eggs in bacon grease at medium heat for 5 minutes or until they reach your desired level of doneness. Spread mayonnaise on both halves of each rolls. On the bottom halves, place a half slice of steak, then a ham slice, Provolone slice, fried egg, bacon slice, lettuce slice, tomato slices, and onion slice, and finally the top halves of the rolls.

Because of the fried eggs, this chivito recipe is “a caballo,” or “on the horse.” Serve with a lot of napkins.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe really should be made with Portuguese rolls. First, that is the roll they use in Uruguay. Second, this roll can really handle the juices of the wonderful meats inside better than say, an overmatched hamburger roll which would explode in seconds.

2) Portugal claimed Brazil in 1494. The Americas have been safe for juicy sandwiches ever since.

3) This is a huge sandwich. It combines a BLT with a Philly cheese steak and a ham sandwich.

4) Dagwood Bumstead of the comic strip, “Blondie,” ate gigantic sandwiches. Some of them appeared to be two or three feet high. The comic strip first appeared in 1930 and has been translated into 35 languages. Dagwood and his wife, Blondie, starred in movies from 1938 to 1950. Here is a movie clip showing the ever-late Dagwood rushing off to work.

5) Oh crudness, unless you got the e-book version or are reading this as a blog, pushing “movie clip” with your finger will be an exercise in frustration. Wouldn’t it be way cool if I knew how to make one of those little squares with the little black squares? You know the one where you scan it with your hand-held device and a website about the product pops up?

6) If I were savvy enough to do this, I could rule the world.

7) Here are a few things that would happen if I ruled Earth:

A) People would no longer be able to block aisles with their shopping carts.

B) Since the NSA knows everything about us, it will fill out our tax forms.

C) Bacon for everyone. Chocolate for everybody.

D) Bluegrass and Dixieland bands will perform continually at all airport security lines.

E) People will be given time machines so that they will not have to do laundry. Simply go back in time to a moment where your clothes are clean.

F) Car keys will come with a homing beacon so you will always be able to find them.

G) People must give their order at the fast-food counter within ten seconds of getting there. If they have more than fifteen minutes to decide what to get and still need to look at the menu when it comes their time to order, they will go to jail for a week.

H) People will be given clickers for pointless red lights at intersections. If you are waiting for a red light to change when there are absolutely no other cars around for a hundred yards, simply click the clicker and the light will change to green.

I) Ice-cube makers on refrigerators will always work. Always.

J) Bus drivers who pull away while you are banging on the door will spontaneously combust.

K) Airlines will give you a partial rebate when they land more than fifteen minutes late.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon Roses

Posted on November 26, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Breakfast

BACON ROSES

INGREDIENTSBaconRoses-

1 pound sliced bacon

SPECIAL UTENSILS

1 box wooden toothpicks
1 or 2 baking pans (must have raised sides to keep bacon grease from spilling into oven)

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Roll up bacon slice. Put 3 or 4 toothpicks into the bottom of the bacon roll so it stands upright like a spaceship. Repeat for remaining slices. Put bacon spaceships upright in baking pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. Serve and enjoy. This dish is particularly good on the mornings of those romantic days such as Valentine’s Day or your anniversary and you’ve suddenly realized, Oh my gosh, I forgot to get flowers.

TIDBITS

1) Bacon is great for you. It will make you live longer. For proof, click http://newrisingmedia.com/all/2013/9/30/study-shows-eating-bacon-will-make-you-live-longer.

2) Bacon inspires artists. For Nick Offerman’s slam poem for bacon click https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSVO5VloDlc. Read Shakespeare’s Henry IV Part 1 and The Merry Wives Of Windsor to see how bacon inspired the Great Bard.

3) I am running for president on the Bacon & Chocolate Party ticket. My running mate is Candace C. Bowen. Click on https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty for more information.

4) Bacon conquered the Wild West. Settlers from the East carried bacon, coffee, beans, and flour with them. Wagon trains carrying too little bacon turned back or met with horrible fates.

5) Making bacon by preserving and salting pork bellies began with the Chinese around 1500BC. The earliest account of bacon and eggs for breakfast dates back to 1560. China is the world’s most populous nation. Coincidence? Perhaps.

6) George Orwell wrote about bacon in 1931. He wrote Animal Farm fourteen years later, possibly to justify the killing of pigs to make bacon.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Atty Eve’s Novel Recipe

Posted on October 16, 2013 by pauldelancey

Atty'sAttic

Hi, my name is Atty Eve and since this is my guest post I’m going to make myself at home. I am a writer also but I write thrillers. My debut novel My Beautiful Suicide is out right now. The blurb and links are below. In my novel the main character, Cosette, spends a lot of time in her best friend’s café. And in keeping with the theme of this blog I will share with you all Cosette’s favorite dish.

Bar-B-Que Bacon Wrapped Shrimp with Mac-N-Cheese.

Ingredients needed

For the shrimp

8 slices center-cut bacon, halved widthwise
16 large raw shrimp, peeled, deveined, tails removed (jumbo does not cook well with this recipe)
1 cup of your favorite Bar-B-Que sauce
16 wooden toothpicks or 4 wooden skewers

For the Mac-N-Cheese

1 (8 ounce) package cavatappi
1 tablespoon of minced garlic
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons flour
1 cup milk
1 cup cream
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
black pepper, to taste
2 ½ cups finely shredded sharp cheddar cheese, don’t skimp on quality!
1/2 cup breadcrumbs, buttered

Directions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Spray 13×9 baking dish with non-stick cooking spray
Start heating water to boil for cavatappi.
While that’s warming up to a boil, start on shrimp.
Take a half-slice of bacon and coat it in the Bar-B-Que sauce then wrap it around a shrimp. Poke a skewer or toothpick through it and place it, seam side down, on a foil sheet.
Repeat with the rest of the bacon and shrimp.
Brush on sauce and let sit while preparing Mac-N-Cheese.

Mac-N-Cheese

Water should be to a rolling boil by now.
Cook and drain macaroni according to package directions; set aside.
In a large saucepan sauté garlic in butter.
Add flour mixed with salt, red pepper flakes and black pepper, using a whisk to stir until well blended.
Slowly pour milk and cream in; stirring constantly.
Bring to boiling point and boil 2 minutes (stirring constantly).
Reduce heat and cook (stirring constantly) 10 minutes.
Add only 2 cups of shredded cheddar little by little and simmer an additional 5 minutes, or until cheese melts.
Take off heat
Add macaroni to the saucepan and toss to coat with the cheese sauce.
Transfer macaroni to 13×9 baking dish.
Sprinkle with breadcrumbs and remaining ½ cup of cheese
Now the yummy part. Place bacon wrapped shrimp on bed of Mac-N-Cheese.
Bake 20 minutes until the top of pasta is golden brown, the shrimp are cooked through, and the bacon is crispy.

So there you have it, Cosette’s favorite dish.

Now just so you get an idea of what my book is about and who this Cosette girl is, here is a blurb about

My Beautiful Suicide.

“Suicide is selfish.

It tells the world that you are weak. It tells the world your family and friends have failed. It leaves them with guilt that they could have done more but didn’t. It tells them they are clueless and helpless.

I am weak, but I am not selfish.

My suicide will not leave my family and friends with guilt and shame; it will leave them thankful that they knew me for the short time I was here.” – Cosette Hugo

Her brother died. Her parents divorced. Her high school bully is relentless. Cosette doesn’t have a lot to live for, but it isn’t until she accidentally kills someone that Cosette makes the decision to take her own life.

Unwilling to bring shame to her mom, best friend Mattie, or her boyfriend Chris, Cosette decides the best method of suicide is to become a victim of the local serial killer, The Poser. But every time she goes out to find him she gets attacked; her instincts take over, and she ends up killing her attackers. This quickly leads to unbearable guilt. Desperate to finish this before she gets caught or racks up more victims, Cosette does the unthinkable.

“And when I reach my final goal, to meet my brother in heaven, and we’re looking down at my victim in Hell, he will say to me ‘Well done, Cosette. What a Beautiful Suicide.’”

Thank you so much for reading this far, here are my links.

Amazon— http://www.amazon.com/My-Beautiful-Suicide-ebook/dp/B00FUUHQA2/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1381669933&sr=1-1&keywords=my+beautiful+suicide

Smashwords— https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/363915

Barnes & Noble – http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/my-beautiful-suicide-atty-eve/1117053371?ean=2940045306386

www.attysattic.com

https://www.facebook.com/atty.eve

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Atty’s Attic Interviews Me!

Posted on October 1, 2013 by pauldelancey

Atty'sAttic

Paul DeLancey goes above and beyond on this interview. You’re gonna love this guy!

While the Earl of Sandwich earns a spot in any culinary hall of fame, he was indeed a flawed man: opinionated, drunken, corrupt, incompetent, a sex fiend, a Satan worshiper, and all that.

And with that intro welcome Paul to my attic.

Who are you and where did you come from?

I’m Paul R. De Lancey. I was born in Los Angeles. I mostly grew up in Arcadia, California. I lived a year in Australia and three years in the Netherlands. I enjoy humorous novels, science fiction, history, and cookbooks. I also enjoy long walks to the fridge for orange juice.

Obviously you’re a writer, what is the name of your book and the general plot?

The title is “Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World.” It’s a cookbook, so there isn’t any plot, although I do add humorous tidbits at the end of each recipe about the recipe and its ingredients.

Where did you come up with the idea?

I’ve always liked to cook. I had been posting my meals on Facebook and on my blog. People showed interest and even suggested I write a cookbook. So I did.

Which of your characters do you like the most and why?

Again, there are no characters in a cookbook, but I like Mexican food the best.

Too funny, thank you for answering anyway!

Which one do you hate the most and why?

I hate lutefisk. So did the Vikings. The idea of staying put in Scandinavia with its horrible lutefisk made the Vikings so ornery that they invaded and rampaged over Europe for centuries.

You’re stranded on an island and you are granted three things;

The first thing you’re granted is an iPod with only one song loaded, what is it?

The theme song from Barney to motivate me in finding a way off the island.

The second item is a book with the last chapter missing, what is it and who wrote it?

War and Peace by Tolstoy. I Loved it except for the mind-numbingly boring last chapter. I want to thank who ever tore out that last chapter.

And the third thing you’re granted on this island is a lunchbox with a sandwich and a full thermos, yummy, what kind of sandwich and drink would you appreciate?

Philly cheese steak and root beer.

What is the biggest mistake you have made in your life? Not writing or publishing mistake – any mistake. Even if it happened in 3rd grade, I wanna know about it.

Stupidly changing an answer on a national math test in high school at the last second. If I had left it alone I would have gotten national recognition.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Not much.

You’re still stranded on that island and two people show up, the character you love the most, and the one you hate the most, and they both know what you said about them. What do you do?

Get them to look for a contact lens in the sand while I sip on the root beer I got earlier in this questionnaire.  Oh, and thank you for the root beer.

Flash round favorites:

Color

Blue

Sound

In my hearing range

Season

Spring. I so wanted to say allspice.

Animal

Cat

Smell

Food cooking

Food

Tacos

Place to visit

Fiji

Place to live

Wherever my family is

Movie

It’s a Gift by W.C. Fields

Alien

Mexican, French, Swedish

Great answer!

Number

5

Writing spot

Fiji

Texture

Smooth

Planet

Earth

And last of all, favorite memory?

Births of my children

Anything else you would like to add?

Vote Bacon & Chocolate in 2016.

And on that note, Paul didn’t have to but he shared a fantastic recipe for us so I do expect you all to try it. Thank you so much, Paul for going above and beyond!

 

American Entrée

 SLOW FRENCH DIP SANDWICHES

french

INGREDIENTS

2 1/2 pounds beef loin top sirloin
1 1/2 pounds beef sirloin tip
1 10.5 ounce can condensed French onion soup
1 cup beef stock or broth
1/2 cup water
8 peppercorns
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon thyme
2 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon beef base or 1 beef bouillon cube
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
10 slices provolone cheese or about 10 ounces
5 French rolls

SPECIALTY ITEM

3 quart, or larger, slow cooker.

PREPARATION

Cut the top sirloin and the sirloin tip enough so that it will fit inside your slow cooker and be covered with the liquid you will add later. Dice garlic cloves.

In fact, here comes the liquid now. Pour French onion soup, beef stock, and water into slow cooker. And now for addition. Add peppercorns, bay leaf, rosemary, thyme, garlic, beef base, sea salt, meat spice, and pepper. And wait.

And wait. Oh and the turn the cooker on low for 6-to-8 hours. (Egads, you’ll have time to collect all receipts that you’ve stashed all around the house in preparation for tax time. Then you forgot where you put them. Now you have time to find them. Go! Go! Look for those receipts. I’m with you on this one.)

It really pays to get an early start on this one, especially if you are using your cooker for the first time. Many but not all slow cookers will get the job done on low in 6-to-8 hours. (My crock pot however needs to be set on high to cook anything in less time than it takes a city to repair a major street.)

Use spoon with holes in it to remove beef from cooker to serving bowl. Open French rolls. Put a slice of provolone cheese on each half. Use spoon with holes in it to put a generous portion of beef on the roll. Spoon juice remaining in cooker onto open sandwich. Close sandwich. Spoon more juice onto closed French roll. Eat. Dream of Heaven.

TIDBITS

1) The sandwich was invented in 1762 when the Earl of Sandwich was too busy to leave the gambling table to eat. Instead, he had a waiter bring him roast beef between two pieces of bread.

2) See, gambling has been good for society.

3) Indeed, many people believe professional sports came into being because gamblers hired players to be on the team they were backing with their bets.

4) The Earl asked for slices of bread to keep the grease from the roast beef from marking the playing cards.

5) While the Earl earns a spot in any culinary hall of fame, he was indeed a flawed man: opinionated, drunken, corrupt, incompetent, a sex fiend, a Satan worshiper, and all that.

6) There is no word, however, if he over spiced.

7) But he did weaken the Royal Navy to such an extent that the French Fleet beat it in 1781, ensuring America’s victory in the American Revolution.

8) A lot to think about when you bite into your next sandwich.

website: www.lordsoffun.com

blog: pauldelancey.com

Thank you so very much for coming to cook for us today. My attic smells wonderful!

Thank you, Atty!

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Bacon-Wrapped Hot Dogs

Posted on September 9, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Entree

BACON-WRAPPED HOT DOGS

INGREDIENTSBaconWrapHD-

1 onion
1 tomato
1 green bell pepper
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
8 hot dogs
8 bacon slices
1 jalapeno pepper
2 tablespoons ketchup
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
2 tablespoons yellow mustard
8 buns
no-stick spray

PREPARATION

Dice onion, tomato, bell pepper, and jalapeno pepper. Put vegetable oil, onion, bell pepper, and jalapeno in skillet. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Set aside.

Wrap a bacon slice around each hot dog. Tuck in the ends of the bacon slices so they don’t unwrap. (Or use toothpicks.) Spray new skillet. Add bacon-wrapped hot dogs to skillet. Fry on medium-high heat for 5-to-10 minutes or until bacon is crispy and hot dogs are done. Turn bacon-wrapped hot dogs frequently to ensure even cooking.

While hot dogs are frying, toast the buns. Spread ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard on buns.. Sprinkle buns with diced tomatoes. Add bacon-wrapped hot dogs. Close and eat. Yum!

TIDBITS

1) A chipotle is a ripe, smoked jalapeno. A salmon that has been smoked is a smoked salmon.

2) A jalapeno pepper went to outer space in 1982. I have never been to outer space. I have been bested by a jalapeno pepper. It’s quite humbling.

3) However, as far as I know smoked salmon has never been to the moon or on the Space Shuttle. Please don’t tell me if it has; I don’t think my ego could handle it.

4 ) Don’t drink water after eating jalapenos. The water merely spreads the heat around. Drink milk. Milk blocks the pain receptors in your mouth. Got milk?

5) Jalapeno-salmon burgers are a popular entree. Someday, you will be able to order them in space. Be sure to have a lid for your milk. Milk gets everywhere in zero-gravity.

– Chef Paul

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Press Release

Posted on August 23, 2013 by pauldelancey

Without any real effort on our own the B&C has developed a nascent social consciousness. As far as I can tell our platform is:

1: We promote and enjoy bacon.fudge
2: We promote and enjoy chocolate.
3: We will save our bees.
4: We sick Ms. Elizabeth Warren on the banks.
5. We will not monitor your phone records. Heck, we hardly look at our own. Who can understand them?

Note: the fourth point assumes Ms. Warren will be a part of Bacon & Chocolate’s team when it sweeps to victory in November, 2016. Would someone who knows her please ask her to join our party? Thanks. We’re kinda shy.

Paul R. De Lancey – Presidential Candidate
Candace C. Bowen – Vice-Presidential Candidate
Jonna Pattillo – Political advisor

Visit our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Meatball Pizza

Posted on August 7, 2013 by pauldelancey

Italian Entree

MEATBALL PIZZA

INGREDIENTSMeatballPizza-

1/2 onion
1 red bell pepper
flour
pizza crust (bought or from below recipe)
1 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes
1/2 cup pasta sauce
1/2 teaspoon garlic
1/2 pound ground beef
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
1 cup grated mozzarella cheese
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSIL

pizza pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Slice onion and bell pepper into thin rings. Cut rings in half. Dust pizza pan with flour and spray with no-stick spray. Put pizza crust on pizza pan. Spread diced tomatoes and its juice evenly over the pizza crust. Spread pasta sauce evenly over the crust.

In small mixing bowl, smoosh garlic and ground beef together. Use hands to form meatballs 1/2″ inch cross. Sprinkle meatballs, Italian seasoning, and mozzarella evenly over pizza. Put pizza in oven and bake at 400 degrees for 10-to-15 minutes or until cheese or crust is golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Favorite pizza toppings around the world:

America: bacon, ground beef, bell pepper, extra cheese, mushrooms (ugh. Sorry, I don’t like them), onion, pepperoni, sausage, tomatoes
Australia: shrimp, pineapple, barbecue sauce
Brazil: green peas, hard-boil eggs
China: thousand island dressing, eel sushi
Costa Rica: coconut, pineapple
France: flambée (bacon, onion, fresh cream)
Germany: egg, asparagus
India: pickled ginger, lamb, chicken tikka
Japan: ketchup, eel, squid, and Mayo Jaga (mayonnaise, potato, bacon)
Korea: sweet potato, shrimp
Netherlands: double meat, double cheese, double onion
Pakistan: curry
Russia: mockba (a combination of sardines, tuna, mackerel, salmon, and onions), red herring
Venezuela: corn, goat cheese

2) But if you really want to visit the cutting edge of pizza making you must go to Sweden where the following smorgasbord of toppings are popular: allspice, artichoke, banana, bacon, beets, bell pepper, Bearnaise sauce, cabbage, caper, carrot, chicken, chocolate, crab, curry, duck, eggplant, filet mignon, French fries, fruit cocktail, gorgonzola, guacamole, ham, hard-boiled eggs, honey. kebab meat. leeks, mashed potato, mayonnaise, onion, peanut, pepperoni, pickles, pineapple, raisin, salami, sausage, shallot, shrimp, white sauce, taco spices, tuna, and zucchini.

3) I really can’t explain Sweden’s unbridled culinary wildness. Swedish cuisine was much blander when I visited the country some years ago. Was there a mass poisoning of chefs by rotten lutefisk at a culinary convention? It’s quite possible; how can you detect bad lutefisk?

4) There are more pizza toppings in Sweden than are dreamed of in your philosophy.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coq au Vin

Posted on June 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Entree

COQ AU VIN

INGREDIENTSCoqAuVin-

4 chicken breasts
1/2 pound sliced bacon
18 pearl onions
4 garlic cloves
2 carrots
1/2 teaspoon mignonette pepper (or black pepper)
2 cups chicken broth
1 1/2 cups red wine
2 bay leaves
1/2 teaspoon marjoram
1 teaspoon parsley flakes
1/2 teaspoon thyme
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
1/2 cup fresh parsley leaves

egg noodles (optional)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Cut bacon widthwise into 1″ slices. Put bacon in pot. Add enough water to cover bacon with 2 extra inches of water. Bring water to boil. Simmer on low heat for 5 minutes. Drain. Rinse in cold water. Pat dry with paper towels.

While bacon is simmering, peel pearl onions. Dice garlic cloves and carrots. Cut each chicken breast into two pieces. Put bacon in Dutch oven. Cook bacon using medium heat for 10 minutes or until bacon starts to brown. Set aside bacon but leave bacon grease in Dutch oven.

Add chicken, onions, and mignonette pepper to Dutch oven. Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes until chicken pieces are browned on all sides. Turn chicken pieces and stir occasionally.

This dish goes well with noodles. If noodles are desired, cook them as instructed on package.

Add bacon, chicken broth, wine, carrot, bay leaves, marjoram, parsley flakes, and thyme. Simmer on low heat for 20 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. Stir occasionally. Remove chicken and onions. Remove and discard bay leaves. (Goodness, if this isn’t one of the removingest recipes around.)

Add butter and flour to Dutch oven. Turn heat to high and bring to boil. Cook for 10 minutes or until about 3/4 of the liquid boils off and sauce thickens. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low. Put bacon and onions back in Dutch oven. Stir until chicken is thoroughly coated with sauce. Garnish with fresh parsley leaves and serve on top of noodles if desired.

TIDBITS

1) Not only does this taste great but you can impress guests with its fancy French name.

2) The American Constitution is an impressive, living document. The Constitution’s 55 framers were impressive drinkers. For their good deed they threw a party where they drank 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, 8 bottles of whiskey, 22 bottles of port, 8 bottles of hard cider, 12 beers and seven bowls of alcohol punch large enough that “ducks could swim in them.”

3) In the 17th century people filled their thermometers with brandy instead of mercury. Honestly dear, this glass is only the leftover from filling the thermometer. “You did want the thermometer filled, didn’t you?”

3)The highest recorded champagne cork flight was 177 feet and 9 inches, while soaring four feet off the ground. I wonder if this inspired NASA.

4) Before even brandy thermometers were used, brewers would dip their thumbs into their liquid to see if temperature was right for adding yeast. Hence the phrase “rule of thumb.”

5) Dowries in ancient Babylon included a month of fermented honey beverage. “Honey month” transformed over the years to “honeymoon.”

6) Well, that’s what I’ve read. I don’t think Babylonians used English words such as “honey month.” They probably used something, well, Babylonian. Perhaps they called it, “Mashka tohw” which through the centuries became “mosquito.”

7) Tidbit 6) could be true. I know people whose blood is like honey to mosquitoes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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