Posts Tagged With: marjoram

Pasta Sauce

Italian Appetizer

PASTA SAUCE

INGREDIENTSPastaSauce-

2 garlic cloves
2 pounds Roma tomatoes
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon basil
1 teaspoon marjoram
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon savory
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon thyme

makes 2 ½ cups

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves. Puree tomatoes in blender. Add remaining ingredients to large saucepan. Bring to boil on high heat, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for about 45 minutes or until sauce thickens. Cool.

TIDBITS

1) It’s helpful to know whenever you’re at an anagram convention that pasta sauce is an anagram for: cause a spat, a cat’s pause, sautes a cap, and cue ass pat.

2) A pat is a small slice of butter. A stick of butter is much longer than a pat.

3) When German soldiers invaded the Netherlands in 1940, they confiscated the locals’ butter. Culinary historians suspect the main impetus behind Germany’s patently unpleasant wars of aggression was a massive butter shortage in the Fatherland. The Netherlands has ample stocks of butter, so it was overrun by its larger bread-spread lacking neighbor to the east.

4) Sure, Germany invaded other nations as well, but that was mainly from inertia. Once you start invading other countries, it’s kinda hard to stop. Besides, Belgium had fries, France had cheese and baguettes, and Russia had beef stroganoff.

5) Eight nations met in Toronto, Canada in 1953 to sign the Ample Butter Supply Treaty (ABS.) To remove all temptation for aggression, signatory countries pledged to main large supplies of butter. America maintains its emergency butter supply in a climate controlled cave near Butte, Montana.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Pot Pie

American Entree

CHICKEN POT PIE

INGREDIENTS – FILLINGChickenPotPie-

3 chicken breasts
3 medium carrots
2 stalks celery
1 onion
1 white potato
1/3 cup butter
1/3 cup flour (6 more cups later)
1/4 teaspoon celery seed
1/4 teaspoon marjoram
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt (3/4 more teaspoons later)
1/2 teaspoon thyme
2 cups chicken broth
1 cup milk (1 tablespoon more later)

INGREDIENTS – PASTRY

6 cups flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup butter (softened)
1 pint water

1 tablespoon milk
1 egg

SPECIAL UTENSILS

Dutch oven
6 meat-pie pans (5″ diameter is best)

PREPARATION – FILLING

Cut chicken into ½” cubes. Dice carrots, celery, onion, and potato. Add onion and butter to Dutch oven. Sauté onion on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add 1/3 cup flour, celery seed, marjoram, pepper, salt, and thyme. Stir until well blended. Add broth and 1 cup milk. Bring to boil on high heat. Stir frequently. Add chicken, carrot, celery, and potato. Reduce heat to lower and simmer for 40 minutes or until carrots are soft. Stir occasionally. Remove.

PREPARATION – PASTRY

While filling is simmering, add 6 cups flour, salt, and butter to a second mixing bowl. Blend ingredients with whisk. Add water. Remove dough and knead on surface dusted with flour.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Let dough sit for 20 minutes. Divide dough into 12 balls. Use rolling pin on dough balls–A large can of soup will do. A stick of dynamite is way too risky–to make 6 circles with 8″ inch diameters. Flatten the remaining dough balls to make 6″ wide circles.

PREPARATION – PIE

Line each pie pan with an 8″ dough circle. Add filling to each pan. Moisten rims of pies with 1 tablespoon milk. (This helps to tops stick with the bottom pastry.) Place a 6″ dough circle on top of each pie. Trim away the excess puff pastry. Press edges of puff pastry onto rims of bottom pastry with fork. Beat egg with whisk or fork. Glaze tops evenly with egg.

Put pies in over. Bake at 425 degrees for 15-to-20 minutes or until golden brown. Spread ketchup over each pie. Have a nice cooling refreshment and enjoy. Press gang the least appreciative guest into cleaning up.

TIDBITS

1) H. G. Wells wrote the culinary-sci fi novel, The Thyme Machine, in 1903. It fared poorly, selling only three copies. Two of those copies were used to keep open windows during London’s August heat weaves. Some historians believe the third copy was placed under the short leg of an otherwise unstable table at a pub called The Copper Penny. The pub’s owner allowed customers to read The Thyme Machine with the understanding they replaced it before leaving the establishment.

2) The distraught novelist chucked his writing career and went to culinary school. He thrived there. He became a spice-using genius. In 1905, he opened up an upscale restaurant in one of London’s ritzy districts. It specialized in French cuisine and was called, Food of the Gods.

3) The wealthy soon flocked to the Food of the Gods. Everyone had to taste its scrumptious entrees, its divine desserts. It became so renowned that giant lines formed outside the restaurant’s doors. In 1907, Chef H.G. instituted a reservations only policy. This left thousands of aristocratic food lovers out in the culinary cold, to subsist on fish and chips. Just getting a reservation provided immense social prestige. In 1911, Charles Witherham garned a baronetcy from George V when he gave his time to the British monarch.

4) Tragedy struck in June, 1914, when the German nobleman, Hans von Frikadellen, stole the French ambassador’s 8 o’clock reservation at The Food of the Gods. The ambassador said German food was one boring pork dish after another. Frikadellen said the French didn’t know how to spice. Things went downhill after that and by July the two nations were at war.

5) Lots of nations joined in the kerfuffle. Millions perished during World War I . Naturally, H.G. Wells felt bad about that and invented a time machine and went back to 1895 long before his havoc creating restaurant opened.

6) Wells renounced cooking and went back to writing. He excised all culinary references in The Thyme Machine which became the more tighter, page-turning masterpiece, The Time Machine. The world would still go to war in 1914, but it wouldn’t be his fault.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Cacciatore

Italian Entree

CHICKEN CACCIATORE

INGREDIENTSChickenCacciatore-

6 chicken breasts (about 3 pounds)
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large white onion
2 garlic cloves
1 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes (keep liquid)
1 6 ounce can tomato paste
3/4 cup dry white wine
1/2 teaspoon marjoram
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon rosemary
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1 teaspoon parsley

or substitute 2 1/2 teaspoons Italian seasoning for marjoram, oregano, pepper, rosemary, salt, and thyme

PREPARATION

Add chicken breasts and olive oil to large skillet. Sauté chicken on medium-high heat for about 15 minutes or until light brown. Flip chicken breasts occasionally to ensure even cooking. While chicken sautés, dice onion and garlic cloves. Remove chicken breasts. Add onion, and garlic. Sauté onion and garlic on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens.

While onion and garlic sautés, add diced tomatoes, tomato paste, white wine, marjoram, oregano, pepper, rosemary, salt, and thyme to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk. Return chicken breasts and add tomato/wine/spice mix to skillet. Bring to boil, stirring occasionally. Cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer for 15 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink inside. Goes well with fettuccine, linguine, or spaghetti. (You cut off a little piece if you’re not sure or don’t possess X-ray vision.)

TIDBITS

1) Chicken Cacciatore is an excellent entree. Joe Torre was an excellent baseball player. He also managed the New York Yankees to multiple World Series championships.

2) WheatiesTM is the “Breakfast of Champions.”TM What is the lunch of champions? The dinner of champions? I agree that it’s essential to start the day off with a good meal. But why stop caring about our repasts after that. Why settle for mediocre meals? If all our athletes only cared to be so-so then we’d have no champions or just fair-to-middlin’ one. Hey, I see my chance. I’ll make shrimp scampi for dinner; surely that is the dinner of champions. Gold medals, here I come.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Split Pea Soup

American Soup

SPLIT PEA SOUP

INGREDIENTSSplitPea-

1 medium carrot
1 celery stalk
1 large onion
2 tablespoons butter.
9 cups water
2 cups (1 pound) dried split peas
1 teaspoon marjoram
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/4 teaspoon pepper

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Mince carrot, celery, and onion. Add carrot, celery, onion, and butter to Dutch oven. Sauté veggies on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add split peas, water, marjoram, bay leaf, thyme, and pepper. Bring soup to boil on high heat, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about an hour or until peas are tender.

Transfer as much soup to blender as will fit. Liquefy or puree soup. Repeat for all batches on soup. Serve and enjoy. Soup crackers and ham go well with this soup.

TIDBITS

1) Gregor Mendel, used pea plants to prove his theory of dominant and recessive genes.

2) His published results were quite close to his hypothesis. In fact his results were so near that one can use statistics to show he fudged his outcomes to prove his point. Bad Mendel.

3) If I had a time machine, I could have gone back in time and convinced Mendel to publish the actual results. He still would have been famous for his ground breaking work without becoming a homework problem for students in statistics. I mean what did Mendel’s son think of all of this?

4) Felix Mendelsson, the great composer of his violin concert and incidental music for A Midsummer’s Night Dream, is probably not the son of Gregor Mendel as Felix’s birth occurred in 1809 and Gregor’s didn’t come into the world until 1822. Geneticists and biologists concur with this assessment with near unanimity.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Coq au Vin

French Entree

COQ AU VIN

INGREDIENTSCoqAuVin-

4 chicken breasts
1/2 pound sliced bacon
18 pearl onions
4 garlic cloves
2 carrots
1/2 teaspoon mignonette pepper (or black pepper)
2 cups chicken broth
1 1/2 cups red wine
2 bay leaves
1/2 teaspoon marjoram
1 teaspoon parsley flakes
1/2 teaspoon thyme
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
1/2 cup fresh parsley leaves

egg noodles (optional)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Cut bacon widthwise into 1″ slices. Put bacon in pot. Add enough water to cover bacon with 2 extra inches of water. Bring water to boil. Simmer on low heat for 5 minutes. Drain. Rinse in cold water. Pat dry with paper towels.

While bacon is simmering, peel pearl onions. Dice garlic cloves and carrots. Cut each chicken breast into two pieces. Put bacon in Dutch oven. Cook bacon using medium heat for 10 minutes or until bacon starts to brown. Set aside bacon but leave bacon grease in Dutch oven.

Add chicken, onions, and mignonette pepper to Dutch oven. Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes until chicken pieces are browned on all sides. Turn chicken pieces and stir occasionally.

This dish goes well with noodles. If noodles are desired, cook them as instructed on package.

Add bacon, chicken broth, wine, carrot, bay leaves, marjoram, parsley flakes, and thyme. Simmer on low heat for 20 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. Stir occasionally. Remove chicken and onions. Remove and discard bay leaves. (Goodness, if this isn’t one of the removingest recipes around.)

Add butter and flour to Dutch oven. Turn heat to high and bring to boil. Cook for 10 minutes or until about 3/4 of the liquid boils off and sauce thickens. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low. Put bacon and onions back in Dutch oven. Stir until chicken is thoroughly coated with sauce. Garnish with fresh parsley leaves and serve on top of noodles if desired.

TIDBITS

1) Not only does this taste great but you can impress guests with its fancy French name.

2) The American Constitution is an impressive, living document. The Constitution’s 55 framers were impressive drinkers. For their good deed they threw a party where they drank 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, 8 bottles of whiskey, 22 bottles of port, 8 bottles of hard cider, 12 beers and seven bowls of alcohol punch large enough that “ducks could swim in them.”

3) In the 17th century people filled their thermometers with brandy instead of mercury. Honestly dear, this glass is only the leftover from filling the thermometer. “You did want the thermometer filled, didn’t you?”

3)The highest recorded champagne cork flight was 177 feet and 9 inches, while soaring four feet off the ground. I wonder if this inspired NASA.

4) Before even brandy thermometers were used, brewers would dip their thumbs into their liquid to see if temperature was right for adding yeast. Hence the phrase “rule of thumb.”

5) Dowries in ancient Babylon included a month of fermented honey beverage. “Honey month” transformed over the years to “honeymoon.”

6) Well, that’s what I’ve read. I don’t think Babylonians used English words such as “honey month.” They probably used something, well, Babylonian. Perhaps they called it, “Mashka tohw” which through the centuries became “mosquito.”

7) Tidbit 6) could be true. I know people whose blood is like honey to mosquitoes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Kartoffel Suppe – German Potato Soup Recipe

German Soup

KARTOFFEL SUPPE
(Potato Soup)

INGREDIENTSKartoff-

1/2 pound bacon
4 potatoes
1 carrot
2 stalks celery
2 stalks leek
1 onion
2 tablespoons butter
6 cups beef broth
1/4 cup flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup cream
1/4 teaspoon marjoram
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 tablespoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

PREPARATION

Slice bacon strips into 1/2″ squares. Chop potatoes into 1/2″ cubes. Dice carrot, celery, leek, and onion. Add butter, bacon, carrot, celery, leek, and onion to soup pot. Sauté on medium-high for 5 minutes or until onion is soft. Stir frequently.

Add potato cubes, broth, flour, salt, cream, marjoram, nutmeg, parsley, and pepper. Simmer for 20 to 30 minutes on low heat or until potato cubes are tender. Stir occasionally.

Become a culinary hero to your hungry hordes by serving this tasty dish. And for those who want bacon with everything, this soup has it. Yay!

TIDBITS

1) This tidbit is not getting done. I made chocolate-covered cake and the hungry hordes are eating it up as I type.

2) If I were to open a dessert shop, I would call it Dessert Storm.

3) The name would be especially apt if I ever forgot to put the lid on the blender.

4) It’s amazing the number of burglars around the world who have fallen asleep inside burgled homes after eating chocolate cake found in the refrigerator.

5) To my knowledge, no house burglar has ever fallen asleep after eating potato soup.

6) Chocolate cake, used by the best home-protection services everywhere.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Herb Substitutions

HERB SUBSTITUTIONS

There comes a moment in every chef’s life when he or she simply doesn’t have every herb needed for that devastatingly delicious recipe and guests are arriving in 10 minutes and my gosh, oh my gosh. Fret not, simply consult the below list of herb substitutions and restore serenity to your life.

Basil – Italian seasoning, marjoram, oregano, thyme
Chervil – parsley, tarragon
Chive – green onion, leek, onion
Cilantro – chervil, parsley
Italian seasoning – basil, marjoram, oregano, parsley, red pepper (ground), rosemary, sage, savory, thyme
Mint – basil, marjoram, rosemary
Marjoram – basil, Italian seasoning, oregano, savory, thyme
Mustard, powder – horseradish powder, wasabi powder (1/4 times as much), prepared mustard (3 times as much)
Oregano – basil, Italian seasoning, marjoram, thyme
Parsley – basil, chervil, cilantro, Italian seasoning
Poultry seasoning – marjoram, rosemary, savory
Rosemary – Italian seasoning, poultry seasoning, thyme, tarragon
Sage – marjoram, poultry seasoning, rosemary, savory,
Savory – Italian seasoning, marjoram, poultry seasoning, sage, thyme
Tarragon – chervil, fennel seed, aniseed
Thyme – basil, Italian seasoning, marjoram, oregano, savory

According to my Webster’s New World Dictionary, an herb is, “any seed plant whose stem withers away to the ground after each season’s growth, as distinguished from a tree or shrub whose woody stem lives from year to year.”

Hot stuff, you betcha.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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