Posts Tagged With: kiss

Time Saving Tips #1 – Kitchen Timer

Let’s face it, we all live hectic lives. Rush, rush, rush. There’s no time to smell the roses. There’s no time to relax at all. Before you know it, the day is over. Before you know it, your kids have grown up and left the house. Is this all there is? Will someone help me find more time in my life?

I’m glad you asked. I am here to give you back your precious seconds.

Look at the picture. Same timers, sure, but there is a difference. The one of the left displays 10:00. This takes four key strokes. The timer on the right shows 9:60. Three keys strokes. Both timers will beep after ten minutes.

However, by pressing in 9:60 you will punched in one fewer keystroke than with 10:00. Suppose you set your timer 31,536.000 times with 9:60, you will end up saving yourself an entire year. Sure, that’s a lot of ten-minute eggs, but now you will have taken control of your life. Watch TV, take up a hobby, kiss your spouse, and play with your children. Go ahead, you have a year of saved time.

And the best thing with this time-saving tip; there’s literally no one stopping you doing this. To life!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Hot Chocolate

American Appetizer

HOT CHOCOLATE

INGREDIENTSHotChocolate-

4 ounces semisweet chocolate (chips or squares)
4cups milk
1/2 cup sugar

PREPARATION

Add all ingredients to saucepan. Heat with medium heat. (Whoa! Heating with heat. That’s just crazy enough to work.) Cook until chocolate has completely melted and liquid is just ready to boil. Stir frequently.

Use an electric or hand beater on hot chocolate if you wish to make it frothy. Mini marshmallows and whipped cream make excellent toppings.

TIDBITS

1) If it weren’t for chocolate, we probably wouldn’t have microwaves. Decades ago, the chocolate bar in Percy Spencer’s pocket melted when he got close to the microwaves of a magnetron. Instead of saying yuck, Percy got excited. He placed an egg next to the magnetron. The egg cooked so fast that it exploded. The synapses in Percy’s brain fired at a prodigious rate. The research on the kitchen microwave began.

2) The good feelings to your brain and body from eating chocolate last four times longer than from an amorous kiss. Indeed, pollsters in Britain found that 50% of women love chocolate more than sex. This guys, is why you give your dates a box of chocolates rather than a package of lutefisk.

3) Eating chocolate multiple times a week greatly reduces the risk of fatal heart disease.

4) Chocolate is a natural antidepressant.

5) A milk chocolate bar has ten fewer calories than a bag of potato chips.

5) So chocolate gave a boost to the advancement of science, provides for an enhanced love life, protects your health, keeps you from being sad, and is better for your figure than potato chips. What more do you want? Why can’t our government be more like chocolate?

6) It can. It can. The Bacon & Chocolate Party was formed in 2012 and is dedicated to promoting the health giving properties of chocolate and bacon and to ensure ample supplies of these wonderful foods.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Croque Monsieur

French Appetizer

CROQUE MONSIEUR

INGREDIENTSCroqueMonsieur-

6 ounces sliced Gruyère cheese
4 tablespoons butter
2 1/2 tablespoons flour
1 1/2 cups milk
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 bay leaf
8 slices white bread
6 ounces sliced ham, thin but not paper thin

2 ounces grated Gruyère cheese

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees and set to broil. Slice 6 ounces of Gruyère cheese. Grate 4 ounces of Gruyère cheese.

Use medium heat to melt butter in small pot. Add 1/2 of the melted butter to pan. (Reserve half of the butter.) Add flour. Cook at low-medium heat for 2 minutes. Stir frequently. Add milk, nutmeg, pepper, and bay leaf. Cook at medium heat for 8 minutes or until sauce thickens. Remove from heat. Remove bay leaf. Set aside sauce. Stir with whisk or fork until blended.

Top a bread slice with 1/4th of the ham and 1/4th of the sliced cheese. Top with second bread slice. Repeat for 3 more sandwiches. Brush each sandwich with 1/4th of the remaining melted butter. Put sandwiches in pan and fry at medium heat for 2 minutes per sandwich side or until golden brown.

Put sandwiches on baking sheet. Spoon sauce and grated cheese evenly over the 4 sandwiches. Broil at 375 degrees for 2-to-4 minutes or until cheese on top starts to brown.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses flour. Flower and flour are homonyms. It’s important not to get the two words mixed up. Putting flours, say white and wheat, in your sweetheart’s hair will not get you a kiss on the lips. Indeed, your sweetheart is more likely to snarl, grab a kitchen mallet, and approach you. Run.

2) And don’t use flowers in this recipe. Doing so will probably not enhance the taste of this dish nor even its texture. And my gosh, don’t even think of using the flower deadly nightshade as an ingredient. It’s poisonous. Accidental culinary deaths are bad. Deliberate culinary murders are always bad. Just say no to culinary murders.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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