Chef Paul
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Chef Paul
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
“1643-53. The Fronde, revolt against the regency named after the catapult children used to hurl clods at passing coaches.”
– The Encyclopedia of World History, Sixth edition, p. 326
Wow! Wow! Children in France had catapults. The parents in seventeenth-century France let their children have catapults, maybe even gave them to their kids for Christmas! Wow!
And, and the kids got to use their catapults to hurl clods! At passing coaches! And it was okay! Way cool! Way cool!
Mom and Dad never gave me a catapult, not even the children’s size. Oh sure, I got a fake Civil War musket that fired a cork about ten feet. But that’s nothing compared to a catapult. Those cork balls rapidly became lost, but you can always find dirt clods.
I don’t want to grow up. I’m a catapult kid.
Fling.
– Paul R. De Lancey – historian
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Defrost, damn turkey!
The guests will be arriving
In only one hour.
THANKSGIVING HAIKU #2
Feck! No potatoes!
Dear, will you go to the store?
What again? You dope.
THANKSGIVING HAIKU #3
Crudness, I forgot
To make the mashed potatoes
Will the guests notice?
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
GOLF HAIKU
“@#$@ ^&%# $#@ @#$&*(+
“#V%^! $%#_+( @@@#$$%% !$&^*)
“j#X!.? @#@ <>,. $#%!!”
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I recently took the clothes out of the dryer and found $1.36. I didn’t put that financial windfall in there. My wife says she didn’t. The two boys don’t go near clothes dryers.
It must be magic or perhaps I went into the future and put the money in there. But I’m entertaining doubt about this theory. You see, I have no time machine. It must be magic. I’ll be doing a lot more laundry from now on. And I’ll find more and more money, enough to build a financial empire. You’ll be invited to visit me at my corporate offices in Paris and Tahiti. Ho, ho, mais oui.
Now if you’ll excuse I need to make more money.
Heads to the clothes dryer.
“Abra cadabra
Iggy piggy poo,
“Give me money
“A hundred thousand dollars will do.”
– Paul R. De Lancey, Master Magician
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
My novel’s stalled.
How shall I save the hero?
So I write haiku.
SECOND WRITING HAIKU
I can’t write the scene.
Words fail me. I keep hearing,
Iggy piggy poo.
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook
or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com
I got an internet ad enticing me to fly a plane, no experience necessary. Darn exciting offer, yet I declined. I fear my piloting would end up as high-impact aerobics. Also, property values along my proposed flight path would likely plummet as soon as word got out. On the other hand, this is a mistake I could only make once.
“He flies through the air
“with the greatest of ease,
“The daring young man
“With the flying machine.”
– Paul R. De Lancey, Intrepid Birdman
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Haiku to Heteroskedasticity
Some words are quite long
Heteroskedasticity
Is one of those those.*
* = “Those those” because the last line needs five syllables. Haikus aren’t easy to write either.
– Paul R. De Lancey, Bad Artist
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Wonderful Novel
Pillar Russell leaves New York to flee disturbing childhood memories and relationships. Afraid of commitments, she settles in southern France to start over in a place where no one knows her, where she doesn’t even know the language.
Pillar’s plan for anonymity gets tested when she takes to her beguiling Gallic village and most importantly when she meets the earnest and sensitive Jeannot. These two friends and lovers are good for each other, so good marriage seems inevitable. But, the memories in Pillar’s life and disturbing xenophobia of the town and Jeannot’s family threaten their relationship.
The author’s style is sensitive and compelling. She skillfully balances disturbing thoughts with uplifting enthusiasm and heart-wrenching sadness with deft touches of humor. Reina Lisa Menasche is a darn good writer. I heartily recommend Silent Bird to everyone.
– Paul R De Lancey