Posts Tagged With: novel

Stabby Tabby Says, #1

 

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Why the French Are Way Cool

“1643-53. The Fronde, revolt against the regency named after the catapult children used to hurl clods at passing coaches.”temp
– The Encyclopedia of World History, Sixth edition, p. 326

Wow! Wow! Children in France had catapults. The parents in seventeenth-century France let their children have catapults, maybe even gave them to their kids for Christmas! Wow!

And, and the kids got to use their catapults to hurl clods! At passing coaches! And it was okay! Way cool! Way cool!

Mom and Dad never gave me a catapult, not even the children’s size. Oh sure, I got a fake Civil War musket that fired a cork about ten feet. But that’s nothing compared to a catapult. Those cork balls rapidly became lost, but you can always find dirt clods.

I don’t want to grow up. I’m a catapult kid.

Fling.

– Paul R. De Lancey – historian

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #18, Thanksgiving Preparation

BadArtist18THANKSGIVING HAIKU #1

Defrost, damn turkey!

The guests will be arriving

In only one hour.

 

THANKSGIVING HAIKU #2

Feck! No potatoes!

Dear, will you go to the store?

What again? You dope.

 

THANKSGIVING HAIKU #3

Crudness, I forgot

To make the mashed potatoes

Will the guests notice?

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Bad Artist

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cartoon, food, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bad Artist #13, Golf

BadArtist13

GOLF HAIKU

“@#$@ ^&%# $#@ @#$&*(+

“#V%^! $%#_+( @@@#$$%% !$&^*)

“j#X!.? @#@ <>,. $#%!!”

 

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Bad Artist

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Getting Rich with Magic

I recently took the clothes out of the dryer and found $1.36. I didn’t put that financial windfall in there. My wife says she didn’t. The two boys don’t go near clothes dryers.coins

It must be magic or perhaps I went into the future and put the money in there. But I’m entertaining doubt about this theory. You see, I have no time machine. It must be magic. I’ll be doing a lot more laundry from now on. And I’ll find more and more money, enough to build a financial empire. You’ll be invited to visit me at my corporate offices in Paris and Tahiti.  Ho, ho, mais oui.

Now if you’ll excuse I need to make more money.
Heads to the clothes dryer.

“Abra cadabra
Iggy piggy poo,
“Give me money
“A hundred thousand dollars will do.”

– Paul R. De Lancey, Master Magician

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: finance, humor, international, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Bad Artist #12, Writing

BadArtist12FIRST WRITING HAIKU

My novel’s stalled.

How shall I save the hero?

So I write haiku.

 

SECOND WRITING HAIKU

I can’t write the scene.

Words fail me. I  keep hearing,

Iggy piggy poo.

 

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Bad Artist

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cartoon, humor, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Be Very Afraid

jet

I got an internet ad enticing me to fly a plane, no experience necessary. Darn exciting offer,  yet I declined. I fear my piloting would end up as high-impact aerobics. Also, property values along my proposed flight path would likely plummet as soon as word got out. On the other hand, this is a mistake I could only make once.

“He flies through the air
“with the greatest of ease,
“The daring young man
“With the flying machine.”

– Paul R. De Lancey, Intrepid Birdman

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: humor, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #5, Words

BadArtist5

Haiku to Heteroskedasticity

Some words are quite long
Heteroskedasticity
Is one of those those.*

* = “Those those” because the last line needs five syllables. Haikus aren’t easy to write either.

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Bad Artist

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Book Review of Reina Menasche’s Silent Bird

Wonderful Novel

Pillar Russell leaves New York to flee disturbing childhood memories and relationships. Afraid of commitments, she settles in southern France to start over in a place where no one SilentBird-knows her, where she doesn’t even know the language.

Pillar’s plan for anonymity gets tested when she takes to her beguiling Gallic village and most importantly when she meets the earnest and sensitive Jeannot. These two friends and lovers are good for each other, so good marriage seems inevitable. But, the memories in Pillar’s life and disturbing xenophobia of the town and Jeannot’s family threaten their relationship.

The author’s style is sensitive and compelling. She skillfully balances disturbing thoughts with uplifting enthusiasm and heart-wrenching sadness with deft touches of humor. Reina Lisa Menasche is a darn good writer. I heartily recommend Silent Bird to everyone.

– Paul R De Lancey
www.lordsoffun.com

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Atty Eve’s Novel Recipe

Atty'sAttic

Hi, my name is Atty Eve and since this is my guest post I’m going to make myself at home. I am a writer also but I write thrillers. My debut novel My Beautiful Suicide is out right now. The blurb and links are below. In my novel the main character, Cosette, spends a lot of time in her best friend’s café. And in keeping with the theme of this blog I will share with you all Cosette’s favorite dish.

Bar-B-Que Bacon Wrapped Shrimp with Mac-N-Cheese.

Ingredients needed

For the shrimp

8 slices center-cut bacon, halved widthwise
16 large raw shrimp, peeled, deveined, tails removed (jumbo does not cook well with this recipe)
1 cup of your favorite Bar-B-Que sauce
16 wooden toothpicks or 4 wooden skewers

For the Mac-N-Cheese

1 (8 ounce) package cavatappi
1 tablespoon of minced garlic
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons flour
1 cup milk
1 cup cream
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
black pepper, to taste
2 ½ cups finely shredded sharp cheddar cheese, don’t skimp on quality!
1/2 cup breadcrumbs, buttered

Directions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Spray 13×9 baking dish with non-stick cooking spray
Start heating water to boil for cavatappi.
While that’s warming up to a boil, start on shrimp.
Take a half-slice of bacon and coat it in the Bar-B-Que sauce then wrap it around a shrimp. Poke a skewer or toothpick through it and place it, seam side down, on a foil sheet.
Repeat with the rest of the bacon and shrimp.
Brush on sauce and let sit while preparing Mac-N-Cheese.

Mac-N-Cheese

Water should be to a rolling boil by now.
Cook and drain macaroni according to package directions; set aside.
In a large saucepan sauté garlic in butter.
Add flour mixed with salt, red pepper flakes and black pepper, using a whisk to stir until well blended.
Slowly pour milk and cream in; stirring constantly.
Bring to boiling point and boil 2 minutes (stirring constantly).
Reduce heat and cook (stirring constantly) 10 minutes.
Add only 2 cups of shredded cheddar little by little and simmer an additional 5 minutes, or until cheese melts.
Take off heat
Add macaroni to the saucepan and toss to coat with the cheese sauce.
Transfer macaroni to 13×9 baking dish.
Sprinkle with breadcrumbs and remaining ½ cup of cheese
Now the yummy part. Place bacon wrapped shrimp on bed of Mac-N-Cheese.
Bake 20 minutes until the top of pasta is golden brown, the shrimp are cooked through, and the bacon is crispy.

So there you have it, Cosette’s favorite dish.

Now just so you get an idea of what my book is about and who this Cosette girl is, here is a blurb about

My Beautiful Suicide.

“Suicide is selfish.

It tells the world that you are weak. It tells the world your family and friends have failed. It leaves them with guilt that they could have done more but didn’t. It tells them they are clueless and helpless.

I am weak, but I am not selfish.

My suicide will not leave my family and friends with guilt and shame; it will leave them thankful that they knew me for the short time I was here.” – Cosette Hugo

Her brother died. Her parents divorced. Her high school bully is relentless. Cosette doesn’t have a lot to live for, but it isn’t until she accidentally kills someone that Cosette makes the decision to take her own life.

Unwilling to bring shame to her mom, best friend Mattie, or her boyfriend Chris, Cosette decides the best method of suicide is to become a victim of the local serial killer, The Poser. But every time she goes out to find him she gets attacked; her instincts take over, and she ends up killing her attackers. This quickly leads to unbearable guilt. Desperate to finish this before she gets caught or racks up more victims, Cosette does the unthinkable.

“And when I reach my final goal, to meet my brother in heaven, and we’re looking down at my victim in Hell, he will say to me ‘Well done, Cosette. What a Beautiful Suicide.’”

Thank you so much for reading this far, here are my links.

Amazon— http://www.amazon.com/My-Beautiful-Suicide-ebook/dp/B00FUUHQA2/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1381669933&sr=1-1&keywords=my+beautiful+suicide

Smashwords— https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/363915

Barnes & Noble – http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/my-beautiful-suicide-atty-eve/1117053371?ean=2940045306386

www.attysattic.com

https://www.facebook.com/atty.eve

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