Posts Tagged With: Kaiser

Baked Potato Chips

American Appetizer

BAKED POTATO CHIPS

INGREDIENTSbakedpotatochips

1 medium russet potato
1 teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon rosemary
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

mandoline (This device helps a lot in making thin, consistent slices quickly.)
2 large cookie sheets.
Good oven mitt (Normally, this is a given, but you might be using it a lot in this recipe.)

Makes 60 potato chips. Takes 1 hour.                                Adult potato chips form circle to protect baby chip.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Use mandoline to slice potatoes lengthwise and 1/16″ or ⅛” thick. Add potato slices, garlic powder, rosemary, salt, and olive oil to large mixing bowl. Toss potatoes slices until they are thoroughly coated.

Spray cookies sheets with no-stick spray. Add potato slices to cookie sheets. Do not stack slices or let them touch each other. Bake at 375 degrees for 10-to-30 minutes or until slices turn golden brown. Change the cookie sheet from the top rack to the bottom rack and vice versa after 10 minutes. (Vigilance is necessary as baking times vary with the thickness of the potato slices.) Remove individual chips from oven as they become done. Let potato slices, now heroically renamed as potato chips, cool on paper towels.

TIDBITS

1) The tenth Crowned Heads of European Poker Championship was held in late June, 1914. Kaiser Wilhelm II lost his temper after his full house was beaten by Czar Nicholas II’s straight flush. Wilhelm smashed the pile of potato chips–the poker chips of the time–in the middle with his fist. He instantly regretted his display of temper. However Tsar Nicholas, Nicky, to the other players, merely smiled. “No chips, no gambling. You know this means War.”

2) So, the heads of Europe settled down to the kid’s card game, War. Unfortunately, the ruler’s war ministers were to far away to hear Nicky’s “No chips, no gambling.” They only heard, “This means war.” They did see Willy’s fist smash the potato chips. Phone calls were made. Armies crossed borders. World War I started. This is why we play poker with plastic chips.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Chivito, Uruguayan Sandwich

Uruguayan Entree

CHIVITO

INGREDIENTSChivito-

2 5 ounce steaks (London-broil, rib-eye)
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 slices bacon
1 onion
4 hard rolls (Portuguese, Kaiser, Italian)
1/4 cup mayonnaise
4 or 8 eggs
4 slices ham
4 slices Provolone cheese
4 leaves lettuce
1 tomato

PREPARATION

Fry bacon on medium-high heat until crispy. Remove bacon. Slice onion into thin rings. Sauté onion slices in bacon fat on medium-high heat for 4 minutes or until onion is tender. Remove onion slices and put on plate with towel to remove grease.

While onion is sautéing, trim steak and ham slices until they fit the size of the hard roll. Sprinkle each steak pieces with pepper and salt. Put the steak in pan. Sauté steak in bacon grease on medium heat for 2 minutes on each side or until it reaches your desired level of doneness. Remove steak. Add ham pieces to pan. Sauté ham in bacon grease on medium heat for 2 minutes on each side.

Toast top and bottom halves of hard rolls. While rolls are toasting, slice tomato. Fry eggs in bacon grease at medium heat for 5 minutes or until they reach your desired level of doneness. Spread mayonnaise on both halves of each rolls. On the bottom halves, place a half slice of steak, then a ham slice, Provolone slice, fried egg, bacon slice, lettuce slice, tomato slices, and onion slice, and finally the top halves of the rolls.

Because of the fried eggs, this chivito recipe is “a caballo,” or “on the horse.” Serve with a lot of napkins.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe really should be made with Portuguese rolls. First, that is the roll they use in Uruguay. Second, this roll can really handle the juices of the wonderful meats inside better than say, an overmatched hamburger roll which would explode in seconds.

2) Portugal claimed Brazil in 1494. The Americas have been safe for juicy sandwiches ever since.

3) This is a huge sandwich. It combines a BLT with a Philly cheese steak and a ham sandwich.

4) Dagwood Bumstead of the comic strip, “Blondie,” ate gigantic sandwiches. Some of them appeared to be two or three feet high. The comic strip first appeared in 1930 and has been translated into 35 languages. Dagwood and his wife, Blondie, starred in movies from 1938 to 1950. Here is a movie clip showing the ever-late Dagwood rushing off to work.

5) Oh crudness, unless you got the e-book version or are reading this as a blog, pushing “movie clip” with your finger will be an exercise in frustration. Wouldn’t it be way cool if I knew how to make one of those little squares with the little black squares? You know the one where you scan it with your hand-held device and a website about the product pops up?

6) If I were savvy enough to do this, I could rule the world.

7) Here are a few things that would happen if I ruled Earth:

A) People would no longer be able to block aisles with their shopping carts.

B) Since the NSA knows everything about us, it will fill out our tax forms.

C) Bacon for everyone. Chocolate for everybody.

D) Bluegrass and Dixieland bands will perform continually at all airport security lines.

E) People will be given time machines so that they will not have to do laundry. Simply go back in time to a moment where your clothes are clean.

F) Car keys will come with a homing beacon so you will always be able to find them.

G) People must give their order at the fast-food counter within ten seconds of getting there. If they have more than fifteen minutes to decide what to get and still need to look at the menu when it comes their time to order, they will go to jail for a week.

H) People will be given clickers for pointless red lights at intersections. If you are waiting for a red light to change when there are absolutely no other cars around for a hundred yards, simply click the clicker and the light will change to green.

I) Ice-cube makers on refrigerators will always work. Always.

J) Bus drivers who pull away while you are banging on the door will spontaneously combust.

K) Airlines will give you a partial rebate when they land more than fifteen minutes late.

– Chef Paul
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Frikadellen – German Hamburger Recipe

German Entree

FRIKADELLEN
German Hamburgers

INGREDIENTSFrikade-

1 onion (1/2 more used later)
1/2 onion
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1 pound ground pork (or pork sausage)
2 eggs
1 tablespoon German mustard or deli mustard
6 tablespoons bread crumbs
1/4 teaspoon caraway seeds
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt
8 Kaiser rolls
8 leaves lettuce

PREPARATION

Mince 1 onion. Slice 1/2 onion into rings. Thoroughly combine minced onion, beef, pork, eggs, mustard, bread crumbs, caraway, nutmeg, pepper, parsley, and salt in mixing bowl with hands. Contemplate the infinite while doing so.

Make 8 large meatballs with hands. Flatten them slightly to make thick patties. Fry patties in pan at medium heat for about 5 minutes on each side or until sides begin to brown. While patties are cooking slice 1/2 onion. Sauté onion slices in burger drippings until golden brown. (The onion rings, not you for goodness sakes.) Toast Kaiser rolls. (Hail, Kaiser rolls.)

Assemble the burger with: roll, patty, lettuce, and sautéed onion slices.

TIDBITS

1) The German word Kaiser means emperor and derives from Julius Caesar’s last name.

2) Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River in 49 B.C. starting a vicious round of civil wars that brought down the Roman Republic for good. Republics were pretty much non-existent round the world after that except in Iceland until the American Revolution in 1775.

3) Future despots though loved what Julius had done, conquering Gaul, overthrowing the Republic, and all that. So much so, they took his last name as their own or even taking the title of Caesar.

5) We see this trend in modern time. KleenexTM became so popular that all facial tissues are often known as KleenexTM.

6) Caesar also gave his name to Caesar’s salad. Blood on his hands sure, but his salad is truly tasty.

7) So if you want to achieve culinary immortality, conquer Gaul or some other country and set up your dictatorship or monarchy.

8) I have to go. I need to sneeze into my KleenexTM.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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