Posts Tagged With: constitution

Paul’s Pizza

American Entree

PAUL’S PIZZA

INGREDIENTS – PIZZA CRUSTpaulspizza

2⅔ cups all-purpose flour
⅓ cup beer
⅔ cup water
2⅔ tablespoons vegetable oil
¾ teaspoon sugar
¾ teaspoon salt
2½ teaspoons active dry yeast

no-stick spray

INGREDIENTS- TOPPINGS*

10 mozzarella sticks
6 tablespoons pasta sauce
12 ounces ground pork sausage
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1½ cups grated mozzarella cheese

* = All of these toppings are divided equally between 2 pie tins.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

bread maker
2 8″-pie tins

Makes 2 8″ pies. Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.

PREPARATION – PIZZA CRUST

Add flour, beer, water, oil, sugar, salt, and yeast to the bread maker. Do not put the yeast directly on top of the salt. Salt is bad for yeast and yeast makes the dough rise. “Ask not what your yeast can do for you. Ask what you can do for your yeast.” Set the timer or the menu on the bread maker to “Dough.” Wait for the required time, about an hour. In the meantime preheat the oven to 400 degrees and liberally spray the pie tins with no-stick spray. This will prevent the crust from forming a glue-like bond with the pie tins.

Take the dough out of the bread maker and divide it into two lumps. Roll out one lump until its dough cover will cover the bottom and sides of the pie tin and still have 1″ of dough hanging over the edge of the pie tin. If you do not have a rolling pin, any canned food can will do as long as it is at least six inches tall. It is best to use no-stick spray on pie tin or coat it with a thin layer of flour before spreading the dough. Repeat for second dough lump. When 30 minutes are left on the bread maker, preheat oven to 400 degrees.

PREPARATION – TOPPINGS

Place 5 mozzarella sticks end-to-end and as close to the edge of the pie tin as possible. Fold the dough that’s hanging beyond the edge of the tin over the mozzarella sticks. The mozzarella sticks should be completely enclosed by dough.

Add 3 tablespoons pasta sauce to the pie tin. Spread with spatula. Flatten 6 ounces ground pork sausage until it is wide enough to cover the pasta sauce. Cover pasta sauce with ground pork sausage. Sprinkle 1 teaspoon minced garlic over pork sausage. Spread ¾ cup mozzarella cheese over ground pork sausage and minced garlic. Repeat for second pie tin.

Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes or until cheese starts to brown.

TIDBITS

1) The Eighteenth Amendment to the Constitution, prohibited the sale of alcohol. Beer has alcohol. Thus, the sale of beer was prohibited.

2) It didn’t take long for beer drinkers to realize if beer couldn’t be sold, it couldn’t be bought.

3) But what about if beer were combined with other legal things. Like anesthesia? Soon surgeries all over the nation were adding beer mist to the ether they administered to patients. Beer mist made drifting off into unconsciousness easier, pleasurable in fact.

4) So much so, that people in all the big cities, Chicago, in particular, took to shooting each other, so they could go to hospitals for their beer misted anesthesia. Aren’t you impressed I spelled unconsciousness and anesthesia correctly and on the first try?

5) Municipal governments started to look askance at all this violence.

6) Then in 1920, Bee R. Barley told her friend Al Capone, “Why don’t you sell beer illegally?” And her idea was good. With the Chicago police busy investigating emergency rooms, Al was free to open one speakeasy after another. Beer sales boomed. Al went big time into selling beer. So did other hoodlums. Everyone wanted a piece of the lucrative illegal beer trade.

7) Competition for the beer trade became fierce. Things were said. Bullets were fired. Soon gang wars raged all across Chicago. For a while, the underworld told city officials that all the shootings arose from people really, really wanting beer anesthesia. Then the Saint. Valentine’s Day massacre happened. Seven murdered men. Dead men want no beer anesthesia. The gig was up. Eliott Ness and his Untouchables closed all the breweries. Cleaned up the surgeries as well.

8) But people still needed their beer. And so pizzas with beer crusts came about. Peace broke out in Chicago. Fragile yes, but enough to keep the city going until Prohibition ended in 1933. I offer up this recipe in the cause of worldwide peace. Can a Nobel Prize be far behind?

Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Advertisements
Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Peanut Butter

American Appetizer

PEANUT BUTTER

INGREDIENTSPeanutButter-

4 cups roasted peanuts (1 cup then 3 cups)*
2 tablespoons peanut oil (½ tablespoon at a time)
½ tablespoon honey
¾ teaspoon salt
⅛ teaspoon sugar

* = 4 cups peanuts weigh about 1 pound. Purchase peanuts with the skins still on for added flavor and fiber. Buy skinned peanuts if you prefer a smoother peanut butter. And, oh gosh, buy shelled roasted peanuts. It takes forever to shell enough peanuts to make this recipe; just as long as a lecture in theoretical economics lasts..

SPECIAL UTENSILS

blender
mason jar

Makes 1½ cups. Takes 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add 1 cup peanuts in blender. Blend on lowest for about a minute or until the peanut bits are the size you desire. (People’s preference for the chunkiness of their peanut butter and the power of their blender vary considerably, so you’ll need to keep a close eye on the blending.) Remove and set aside.

Add remaining 3 cups peanuts, ½ tablespoon oil, and honey to blender. Set blender to lowest setting that works. (A weak blender will just make plaintive whirring noises and do nothing if it’s on too low a setting. Gradually decrease the speed of the blender to low as it becomes more and more to blend. (I think I can. I think I can. ) Blend on low setting until mixture becomes quite smooth. (The oil should be coming out of the peanuts.) If mixture is too dry to spread, add another ½ tablespoon oil and puree again. Repeat as needed with oil until mixture is easy to spread. Add salt and sugar. Fold in salt and sugar with wooden spoon.

Store in refrigerator. It should be good for 2 weeks to 2 months, depending on the seal of the jar used for storage. I prefer mason jars. Oil might rise to the top over time. Simply mix the oil back into the peanut butter with a wooden spoon.

TIDBITS

1) Each American eats seven pounds of peanut butter a year. It’s a federal law dating back to the drafting of the Constitution. Georgia simply would not sign the great document unless its mighty peanut industry was protected. After much negotiation, the states agreed on seven pounds per person per annum. Georgia signed and America had a basis for strong government

2) Some people spread out their required peanut-butter consumption evenly over the entire year. This comes out to .3068 ounces per day. To achieve such precision, people need sophisticated scales. This need explains why American kitchen scales are the envy of the world. Indeed, NASA uses these scales in its space programs.

3) Other people eat all their peanut butter in one day. Pause and reflect.

4) Americans could fill the Grand Canyon with all the peanut butter that eat in one year. This actually happened on April 1, 2000. It was a glorious occasion with millions of loaves of bread being flown and trucked in. Thousands and thousands of trucks that normally hauled crude oil were converted to dispense grape and strawberry jelly. And the toasters! Oh, they were everywhere. People said nice things to each other except, of course, for those with peanut butter stuck to the roof of their mouths.

5) Unfortunately, this happening could not become an annual event. Many tourists, especially those from countries with low peanut-butter consumption, insisted of seeing the Grand Canyon in its peanut-butter free glory.

6) We also cannot forget the frenzied riot that took place between the smooth-peanut-butter fanatics and the chunky-peanut-fanatics. Culinary historians still shake their heads when they contemplate how close America came to civil war. It certainly affected the presidential election.

7) Speaking of presidents, Thomas Jefferson and Jimmy Carter grew peanuts. Mr. Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence. Two peanuts growers, one Independence writer. We can conclude from this that every other peanut grower in America would write a Declaration of Independence.

8) Or can we conclude this? Thomas Jefferson declared independence from Great Britain. Jimmy Carter couldn’t do the same; we had already severed connections from the mother country.

9) So, who could have Mr. Carter declared independence from?

10) From America. Jimmy Carter could have penned a declaration of independence for Georgia from the United States. He didn’t, of course, but it was a near run thing.

11) In 1980, American lawmakers mindful of the horrifying carnage of the War Between the States in 1861-1865, passed a law requiring all peanut farmers to sign an annual pledge not to make their state secede from the Union.

12) Or at least to grow onions as well. No onion farmer has ever written anything advocating independence. Onion farmers are a rather down to earth sort of folks. Thank goodness.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperpack
or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Five Things You Must Do in Boston

 

Ship

Too many visitors to Boston forget to do the following, essential things.

1. Breathe.

2. Eat.

3. Drink.

4. Sleep.

5. See the U.S.S. Constitution, “Old Ironsides.” It’s a famous wooden ship from the War of 1812.

– Paul R. De Lancey, travel adviserCoverFrontFinal

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com.

Categories: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coq au Vin

French Entree

COQ AU VIN

INGREDIENTSCoqAuVin-

4 chicken breasts
1/2 pound sliced bacon
18 pearl onions
4 garlic cloves
2 carrots
1/2 teaspoon mignonette pepper (or black pepper)
2 cups chicken broth
1 1/2 cups red wine
2 bay leaves
1/2 teaspoon marjoram
1 teaspoon parsley flakes
1/2 teaspoon thyme
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
1/2 cup fresh parsley leaves

egg noodles (optional)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Cut bacon widthwise into 1″ slices. Put bacon in pot. Add enough water to cover bacon with 2 extra inches of water. Bring water to boil. Simmer on low heat for 5 minutes. Drain. Rinse in cold water. Pat dry with paper towels.

While bacon is simmering, peel pearl onions. Dice garlic cloves and carrots. Cut each chicken breast into two pieces. Put bacon in Dutch oven. Cook bacon using medium heat for 10 minutes or until bacon starts to brown. Set aside bacon but leave bacon grease in Dutch oven.

Add chicken, onions, and mignonette pepper to Dutch oven. Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes until chicken pieces are browned on all sides. Turn chicken pieces and stir occasionally.

This dish goes well with noodles. If noodles are desired, cook them as instructed on package.

Add bacon, chicken broth, wine, carrot, bay leaves, marjoram, parsley flakes, and thyme. Simmer on low heat for 20 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. Stir occasionally. Remove chicken and onions. Remove and discard bay leaves. (Goodness, if this isn’t one of the removingest recipes around.)

Add butter and flour to Dutch oven. Turn heat to high and bring to boil. Cook for 10 minutes or until about 3/4 of the liquid boils off and sauce thickens. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low. Put bacon and onions back in Dutch oven. Stir until chicken is thoroughly coated with sauce. Garnish with fresh parsley leaves and serve on top of noodles if desired.

TIDBITS

1) Not only does this taste great but you can impress guests with its fancy French name.

2) The American Constitution is an impressive, living document. The Constitution’s 55 framers were impressive drinkers. For their good deed they threw a party where they drank 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, 8 bottles of whiskey, 22 bottles of port, 8 bottles of hard cider, 12 beers and seven bowls of alcohol punch large enough that “ducks could swim in them.”

3) In the 17th century people filled their thermometers with brandy instead of mercury. Honestly dear, this glass is only the leftover from filling the thermometer. “You did want the thermometer filled, didn’t you?”

3)The highest recorded champagne cork flight was 177 feet and 9 inches, while soaring four feet off the ground. I wonder if this inspired NASA.

4) Before even brandy thermometers were used, brewers would dip their thumbs into their liquid to see if temperature was right for adding yeast. Hence the phrase “rule of thumb.”

5) Dowries in ancient Babylon included a month of fermented honey beverage. “Honey month” transformed over the years to “honeymoon.”

6) Well, that’s what I’ve read. I don’t think Babylonians used English words such as “honey month.” They probably used something, well, Babylonian. Perhaps they called it, “Mashka tohw” which through the centuries became “mosquito.”

7) Tidbit 6) could be true. I know people whose blood is like honey to mosquitoes.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: