Bacon Roses

American Breakfast



1 pound sliced bacon


1 box wooden toothpicks
1 or 2 baking pans (must have raised sides to keep bacon grease from spilling into oven)


Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Roll up bacon slice. Put 3 or 4 toothpicks into the bottom of the bacon roll so it stands upright like a spaceship. Repeat for remaining slices. Put bacon spaceships upright in baking pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. Serve and enjoy. This dish is particularly good on the mornings of those romantic days such as Valentine’s Day or your anniversary and you’ve suddenly realized, Oh my gosh, I forgot to get flowers.


1) Bacon is great for you. It will make you live longer. For proof, click

2) Bacon inspires artists. For Nick Offerman’s slam poem for bacon click Read Shakespeare’s Henry IV Part 1 and The Merry Wives Of Windsor to see how bacon inspired the Great Bard.

3) I am running for president on the Bacon & Chocolate Party ticket. My running mate is Candace C. Bowen. Click on for more information.

4) Bacon conquered the Wild West. Settlers from the East carried bacon, coffee, beans, and flour with them. Wagon trains carrying too little bacon turned back or met with horrible fates.

5) Making bacon by preserving and salting pork bellies began with the Chinese around 1500BC. The earliest account of bacon and eggs for breakfast dates back to 1560. China is the world’s most populous nation. Coincidence? Perhaps.

6) George Orwell wrote about bacon in 1931. He wrote Animal Farm fourteen years later, possibly to justify the killing of pigs to make bacon.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on

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