Posts Tagged With: banana

Banana Crunchies From New Caledonia

Posted on August 31, 2013 by pauldelancey

New Caledonian Dessert

BANANA CRUNCHIES

INGREDIENTS

12 tablespoons or 1 1/2 sticks butter
1/2 cup unsalted, raw peanuts
2 ripe bananas
1 3/4 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1 3/4 cups rolled oats
no-stick spray

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Let butter soften. Grind peanuts in food processor. Peel bananas. Mash bananas.

Use fork or whisk to mix flour, sugar, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt in large bowl. Add butter and eggs. Mix with fork. Add banana, rolled oats, and peanuts. Mix with fork until well blended

Drop 1 tablespoon of mixture from bowl onto sprayed cookie sheet. Use hands to roll mixture into a log. Repeat until mixture is used up. Makes about 4 dozen crunchy logs.

Bake crunchies in oven at 450 degrees for 12 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool on wire rack for 15 minutes.

TIDBITS

1)Nutmeg has a hallucinogenic effect if taken in large amounts.

2) This is why this recipe uses only 1/4 teaspoon. I want you to be able to drive safely.

3) But honestly officer, I only took a pinch of nutmeg.

4) Nutmeg loses its flavor and potency when ground. So if you must drive and nutmeg, please consume the ground variety. Think of your reputation. Think of your family.

5. Nutmeg goes well with desserts, fruit, spinach, cheese, pork, pumpkin, eggs, and cabbage. Sure, you’re just trying to get high. Pumpkin pie for dessert, a likely story.

6. Alabama cares about safe driving as well. You may not drive blindfolded there.

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: Alabama, baking soda, banana, butter, cinnamon, crunchies, dessert, egg, family, hallucinogenic, New Caledonia, New Caledonian, nutmeg, oats, Peanuts, salt | Leave a comment

Banana Peanut-Butter Honey Milkshake

Posted on June 13, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

BANANA PEANUT-BUTTER HONEY MILKSHAKE

INGREDIENTS

3 bananas (best when ripe)
2 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
1/2 tablespoon honey

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Peel the bananas. Put bananas, milk, peanut butter, and honey in blender. Use “milkshake” setting. Blend until shake is sufficiently smooth for your taste.

This tasty milkshake is a diet buster.

TIDBITS

1) Bees must visit two-million flowers to make one pound of honey. The average worker bee makes 1/12 teaspoon in her lifetime. Bees need to unionize for better working conditions.

2) A 15,000-year-old cave painting shows a human stealing honey from a hive. Oh sure, the little bee visits fifty-five millions flowers in her lifetime and then it’s gone. Honestly, it’s enough to make a grown bee cry.

3) Can bees cry?

4) Honey bees do have five eyes.

5) This makes their going to the optometrist a major event, especially as their command of even the simplest human languages is rather limited.

6) This linguistic deficiency often leads to tragedy. The optometrist doesn’t understand the bee’s buzzing. The bee interprets this incomprehension as an aggressive act.

7) The enraged bee stings the optometrist. The optometrist’s face swells up. The optometrist goes to the hospital. The bee dies.

8) No specialized glasses get sold. News of this leaks to Wall Street. The stock market plunges. Economies collapse. Money becomes worthless. And have you stocked up on toilet paper?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: America, American, banana, bees, dessert, honey, human, languages, milkshake, money, optometrists, peanut butter, stock market, toilet paper, unionize, Wall Street, worker bee | Leave a comment

Banana Chutney From Zaire

Posted on June 10, 2013 by pauldelancey

Zairean Appetizer

BANANA CHUTNEY

INGREDIENTS

6 ripe bananas
1 medium stick or 4 teaspoons cinnamon
5 tablespoons lemon juice
1 1/2 tablespoons lemon zest
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

PREPARATION

Peel and mash bananas with fork. Grind cinnamon with spice grinder. Combine all ingredients in sauce pan. Cook for 10-to-15 minutes using low-medium heat until it reaches your desired level of consistency. Stir frequently.

Let cool. Put in jar and refrigerate. This will keep there for about 2 weeks.

TIDBITS

1) I searched for “fun facts about Zaire” on the internet. Learn-French-Help.com’s first Zairean fun fact is, “Formerly Zaire, the Democratic Republic of the Congo has since 1997 been torn by civil strife, internal turmoil and ethnic and intertribal war, ignited off by a large influx of refugees 1994 fleeing the bloodshed in Rwanda and Burundi.”

2) Whew! Too much fun for me.

3) While Zaire has been in turmoil, the humble banana has quietly been making the world a better place. The banana helps with: low energy levels, depression, PMS, anemia, blood pressure, stroke, brain power, constipation, hangovers, heartburn, morning sickness, mosquito bites, nerves, ulcers, seasonal affective disorder, tobacco addiction, stress, warts, protein deficiency, carbohydrate deficiency, low phosphorous levels, vitamin A needs, iron deficiency, and insufficient potassium.

4) Yay! Bananas, not just a slapstick prop.

5) Bananeros, “Banana Men,” – were Americans who tamed the Central American jungle and made it safe to grow bananas.

6) I still think drovers in the cattle drives of the Old West were more impressive. Herding cattle had to have been harder than herding bananas.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: addiction, anemia, banana, bananas, bananeros, Burundi, carbohyrdrate, Central America, chutney, Congo, constipation, cookbook, De Lancey, Democratic Republic, depression, drovers, French, hangovers, heartburn, iron deifiency, morning sickness, mosquito bites, nerves, Old west, PMS, protein, Rwanda, slapstick, stress, stroke, tobacco, ulcers, vitamin A, warts, Zaire, Zairean | Leave a comment

Kelewele (Hot Plantain Chips) From Ghana

Posted on June 6, 2013 by pauldelancey

Ghanian Entree

KELEWELE
(Hot plantain chips)

INGREDIENTS

4 ripe plantains
1 clove garlic
2 teaspoons honey
1 teaspoon cayenne
1 teaspoon fresh ground ginger
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup oil

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric skillet

PREPARATION

Peel plantains. Slice plantains into round slices no wider than 1/4″. Dice garlic. Put round plantain slices, garlic, honey, cayenne, ginger, salt, and oil into mixing bowl. Mix ingredients with hands until spices coat plantain slices.

Put oil in skillet. There should be enough to cover plantain slices. Heat skillet to 350 degrees. Put a tiny bit of plantain in skillet. Oil is hot enough when the plantain bit starts to dance around. Carefully put plantains slices in hot oil. (Getting splattered by hot oil hurts quite a bit. May I suggest using the skillet lid as a shield between yourself and the oil.) To ensure even cooking of the plantains, make sure that none of the plantain slices touch each other. You will most likely need to cook the plantain slices in batches.

Fry each batch at 350 degrees for 3 minutes. Turn the slices over and fry for 3 minutes more. Remove slices with spoon with holes in it. Put slices in bowl. Remove remaining oil with paper towel. Repeat for each batch.

Serve hot to hungry quests.

TIDBITS

1) A search of fun facts about Ghana reveals that its currency is the Cedi. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve enlivened a party by relating that gem. Well yes, I can.

2) The plantains is not a happening fruit, not like its exciting cousin, the banana. For example, did you know the plantains is part of the genus Musa in the Musacaea family of flowering plants? Now hold on to something sturdy before reading further. Alhough plantains grow as tall as trees, they’re only gigantic herbs because they have succulent stems instead of trunks. I’d go on but my heart is already racing like a jackrabbit.

4) Even though the plantain looks a lot like a banana, people never think of the sexual implications of eating or dreaming a plantain.

5) But it could have been different if the great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud had ever traveled to Ghana. Then he would have said, “Sometimes a plantain is just a plantain.”

6) But as any historian will say, you can only rewrite history so far. The superior slipping properties of the banana over the plantain ensued the complete dominance of the banana in silent films and in early talking motion pictures. We saw bananas. We ate bananas.

7) It’s the same thing with tuna and lutefisk. People eat tuna over lutefisk because we only see tuna being eaten on television and in movies, never lutefisk.

8) Okay, we also never eat lutefisk because it looks bad, tastes bad and smells. Indeed, I wouldn’t be entirely surprised to learn that many secret governmental agencies around the world employ lutefisk as an enhanced interrogation technique.

9) Have a plantain instead.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: banana, Cedi, cookbook, De Lancey, Eat Me, entree, Freud, fun recipes, garlic, Ghana, Ghanian, ginger, honey, jackrabbit, kelewele, Kindle, lutefisk, motion pictures, Musacaea, plantain, recipes, secret governmental agencies, sexual, Sigmund Freud, silent films, succulent | Leave a comment

Bajan Meatloaf From Barbados

Posted on June 5, 2013 by pauldelancey

Barbadian Entree

BAJAN MEATLOAF

INGREDIENTS

4 Roma tomatoes
1 orange bell pepper
2/3 cups spinach
1/2 white onion
2 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
3 large eggs
1 cup grated cheddar cheese
1 1/2 cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon banana ketchup
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
4 tablespoons Bajan seasoning
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 teaspoon celery salt
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1 tablespoon parsley

SPECIAL UTENSIL

8″ casserole dish

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mince tomatoes, bell pepper, spinach, and onion. Add onion to butter and sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onions are soft.

Combine spinach, onion, tomato, bell pepper, ground beef, eggs, cheese, bread crumbs, banana ketchup, mustard, Bajan seasoning, cayenne, celery salt, cumin, and parsley. You really need to use your hands to do a good job here.

(Better yet, get your ten-year old to mix this up. Oh heck, he’s at a friend’s house.)

Transfer the meat mix to this dish. Smooth the meat and bake for 50 minutes. Let cool for 5 – 10 minutes. Oh, don’t forget to wash your hands.

TIDBITS

1) It is so difficult to find fun facts about meatloaf. The rock-music star Meatloaf so enamors all the fun-fact website producers that there are no fun-fact sides for the meatloaf showcased in this recipe.

2) But I own one of Meatloaf’s albums. In homage to him let me give him a tidbit. He once worked as a valet at a concert hall or arena. One of the cast members for the musical, Hair, quit. Meatloaf was pressed into action and the rest is non-culinary history.

3) Now back to Barbados. That sounds like a Caribbean John Wayne movie doesn’t it?

4) Mongooses were brought to Barbados from India to kill the rats in the sugar cane fields. Unfortunately, the nocturnal mongooses never came into contact with the rats who scurried about during the day. The mongooses did however, decimate the island’s herds of snakes that actually ate rats.

5) I know snakes don’t travel in herds, but I do love the image. “Head ‘em up, move ‘em out.”

6) In 1976 Captain and Tennille had a huge hit with the song “Muskrat Love.” It could just as easily been called “Mongoose Love.”

7) They didn’t, of course, due in part to the bad rep the mongooses got from their activities in Barbados.

8) This is a cautionary tales for all mammals.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: bajan, banana, Barbadian, Barbados, bell pepper, Captain and Tennille, Caribbean, cayenne, cheddar, cheese, Chef Paul, cookbook, De Lancey, entree, Following Good Food, ground beef, India, John Wayne, ketchup, meatloaf, mongooeses, mongoose, Muskrat love, mustard, onion, parsley, rats, recipes, Roma, spinach, tomatoes | Leave a comment

Kenyan Maharagwe Soup Recipe

Posted on May 22, 2013 by pauldelancey

Kenyan Soup

MAHARAGWE
(Spicy red beans in coconut milk)

INGREDIENTS

3 tomatoes
1 1/2 onions
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/4 teaspoons cayenne
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon turmeric
1 13.5 ounce can coconut milk
1 15 ounce can dark red kidney beans

PREPARATION

Dice tomatoes. Mince onions. Put olive oil and onion in soup pot. Sauté for 5 minutes on medium-high heat or until onion is tender. Drain kidney beans. Add tomato, cayenne, salt, turmeric, coconut milk, and kidney beans to pot.

Cook on low-medium heat for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Serve to guests who do not wonder out loud why a dish from Kenya has coconuts.

TIDBITS

1) Kenya grows coconuts. It does! It does! I never knew. I just looked it up. There’s even a Kenya Coconut Development Authority (KCDA). So there.

2) Egypt has pyramids. Mexico has pyramids. Did ancient Egyptians ever voyage to Mexico?

3) I’d always pictured coconuts growing only in islands in the Pacific.

4) But then again, Iceland grows bananas. Iceland is a republic. So, Iceland is a banana republic. So is the United States.

5) Did you know Iceland has a list of approved names? If you pick off the list, the government will not recognize your baby’s name. In that case, you must go to court to win approval.

6) Have you ever bought bananas from Iceland? Iceland has no McDonald’s. It costs too much to ship McDonald’s approved beef and potatoes there.

7) Juneau, Alaska has a McDonald’s. It used up it’s all the supplies that were supposed to last it an entire month on opening day.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: Alaska, banana, banana republic, cayenne, coconut, coconut milk, cookbook, De Lancey, Egypt, Iceland, Juneau, Kenya, Kenya Coconut Development Authority, Kenyan, McDonald's, Mexico, olive oil, onions, Pacific, pyramids, recipe, recipes, red beans, soup, tomatoes, United States | Leave a comment

Bahamian Banana Breakfast Bread

Posted on February 11, 2013 by pauldelancey

Bahamian Breakfast

BAHAMIAN BANANA BREAKFAST BREAD

INGREDIENTS

3 bananas (overripe ones are better)
1/2 cups pecans
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup butter (softened or melted)
1/2 cup raisins
2 eggs
2 3/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 cup sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups flour

Makes 1 loaf. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 9″ x 6″ or 9″ x 5″ baking or loaf pan. Peel bananas. Put bananas in large mixing bowl. Mash bananas with potato masher or fork.. (Did you know that you can buy on AmazonTM the HutzlerTM 571 Banana Slicer? Look at the reviews. They’re hilarious.) Chop pecans or grind with spice grinder until all the pecan bits are quite small.

Add pecan bits, cinnamon, butter, raisins, eggs, baking powder, sugar, salt, nutmeg and vanilla extract to mixing bowl. Mix with fork. Blend with electric beater set on “cake.” With electric beater running, gradually add all the flour. Blend until the batter is smooth.

Spray pan with no-stick spray. Pour batter into pan. Put pan in oven. Cook for 45 to 60 minutes or until a toothpick or fork inserted into the middle comes out clean. Let cool for 20 minutes. Turn pan over onto a plate.

1) Bahamian Banana Breakfast Bread is a great example of alliteration.

2) Alliteration is when all words start with the same sound or letter.

3) Al Simmons was a Hall of Fame baseball player.

4) He hit .390 for the Philadelphia Athletics.

5) Philadelphia Athletics is not alliterative.

6) But the Anaheim Angels were.

7) Now they are called the Los Angeles Angels.

8) Which is still alliterative.

9) Thank goodness for Major League Ball, keeping alliteration alive.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, humor, international, recipes | Tags: 169, Al Simmons, alliteration, Amazon, Anaheim, angels, Athletics, Bahamas, Bahamian, banana, banana slicer, baseball, bread, breakfast, cinnamon, Eat Me, eggs, Los Angeles, Major League Baseball, nutmeg, Philadelphia, Philadelphia Athletics, raisins, vanilla extract | Leave a comment

French Roasted Potatoes Recipe

Posted on January 27, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Entree

French Roasted Potatoes

INGREDIENTS

2 small red potatoes
8 small brown potatoes
4 garlic cloves
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon herbes de Provence
2 teaspoons Sunny Paris seasoning

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cut potatoes into halves. Mince garlic cloves. Place potatoes into roasting pan. Pour olive oil over potatoes. Turn potatoes until thoroughly coated. Sprinkle garlic, herbes de Provence, and Sunny Paris seasoning over potatoes. Turn potatoes until coated with oil and spices.

Put roasting pan in oven. Bake for 1 hour or until they are fork tender. Stir potatoes three times while roasting so they don’t burn on one side.

Now you have those tasty potatoes you always admired in fancy restaurants. C’est bien.

TIDBITS

1) Sunny Paris seasoning consists of purple shallots, French basil, French tarragon, chervil, bay leaf, and dill weed.

2) The air we breathe is primarily nitrogen and oxygen.

3) The main ingredient in people is water.

4) This tidbit didn’t make sense. It’s gone.

5) We humans share quite a few of the same chromosomes as a banana.

6) Which prompted Freud to speculate about that fruit.

7)) You can buy a banana slicer, called the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, on www.amazon.com. Read the reviews. They’re hilarious.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: Amazon, banana, banana slicer, chervil, chromosomes, cookbook, De Lancey, dill weed, Eat Me, entree, France, French, Freud, garlic, herbes de Provence, Hutzler 571, olive oil, oxygen, potatoes, recipe, recipes, roasted, seasoning, shallots, Sunny Paris, tarragon, virgin | Leave a comment

The New Writing Craze: Banana-Slicer Reviews

Posted on January 15, 2013 by pauldelancey

Face it dear reader, the modern literary world has become bored by traditional methods of written communication such as novels, essays, plays, newspaper articles. What the modern reader wants is over-the-top review for banana slicers.

Click on

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0047E0EII?ie=UTF8&ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top&tag=hydfbook0e-20&ascsubtag=US-SAGE-1354578439980-TZEYJ

to see many of them. Mine is shown below. I’m hoping for an award.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: Amazon, banan-slicer, banana, dishwasher, Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, knife, literary world, modern, safe, written communication | Leave a comment

Soupe Au Pistou

Posted on September 22, 2012 by pauldelancey

French Soup

SOUPE AU PISTOU

INGREDIENTS

PISTOU

6 ripe tomatoes
6 garlic cloves
4 ounces grated Parmesan cheese
3/4 cups olive oil
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

SOUP

2 ripe tomatoes
1 leek
1 medium onion
4 medium russet potatoes
4 tablespoons butter
32 ounces vegetable broth

PREPARATION OF SOUP

Wash, seed, and peel the 2 tomatoes. Chop them into little bits. Rinse and peel the potatoes. Chop the potatoes into bits, put the bits into a food processor, and mince them. Peel the onion and mince it. Remove leek’s bulb. Take leek apart and dice it. Dice onion.

Saute the onion and leek in frying pan with butter. Cook on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until the onions start to turn brown.

Put sauteed onion and like in large soup pan. Add vegetable broth, the pieces from the 2 tomatoes, potato, onion, and leek.

Cook soup over low heat for about 45 minutes or until potato bits are soft. Stir occasionally. Keep lid on pot, when not stirring, to prevent evaporation of liquid.
PREPARATION PISTOU

Do you know how to peel tomatoes? I hope so. Oh c’mon, you can learn. Or your kids can learn.

Wash, seed, and peel the 6 tomatoes. (Peeling the tomatoes is much is easier when sliced into at least four pieces. Quickly peeling takes practice or you might find it faster to peel if you boil the tomato for 30 seconds first.) Chop the peeled tomatoes into small pieces. Peel and mince the garlic cloves.

Put chopped tomato and minced garlic in mixing bowl. Add Parmesan, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Mix together with fork or whisk.
Pour soup into bowls. Ladle the pistou equally over the soup in each bowl.

Serve to adoring guests. You took a long time to make this meal. So, if they are not adoring, my I suggest you let them meet your pet boa constrictor, Bernie, who has just fallen off his diet.

TIDBITS

1) The leek is a national symbol of Wales.

2) Wales doesn’t sound so fierce, does it?

3) Leeks have a high amount of potassium in them just like the banana. Unlike the banana, leeks do not go well with nut bread.

4) Just prejudice and taste, I guess.

5) The leek stores its energy in its leaves. People, being leafless, store energy elsewhere.

6) Nero ate lots of leeks when he was Emperor.

7) Within a year of Nero’s death, Galba, Otho, Vitellius, and Vespasian sent their legions fighting toward Rome in a bloody effort to become Emperor and eat all the leeks they could ever want.

8) There are a lot of sites listing fun facts about leeks. It is a happening vegetable.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: banana, boa constrictor, cookbook, France, French, leek, legions, Nero, olive oil, Parmesan, pistou, potato, Rome, saute, soup, soupe, tomato, Wales | Leave a comment

Posts Tagged With: banana

Banana Crunchies From New Caledonia

Banana Peanut-Butter Honey Milkshake