Posts Tagged With: Wales

How The British National Election Will Give Me Super Powers

 

According to USA Today on May 7, 2015, Britain’s Green Party held one seat in Parliament. There were much larger parties holding many more seats vying for control of the country’s destiny. However, they are of no interest to us and we shall ignore them.

The main thing to notice is that Other Parties held 27 seats.  According to USA Today, other parties “Includes smaller parties from Northern Ireland, Wales, and Independents.” Okay fine, but what is smaller than one? Zero! (Okay, 1/2 is smaller than one. But you can’t have half a politician sitting* in Parliament or in the United States Congress for that matter. The incomplete he or she would die. It would be messy. Moreover, even though partial politicians are not specifically excluded from winning office in any country on this planet, there does seem to be a rather strong unwritten rule about it.)

Okay, now it gets exciting. USA Today claimed that the Other Parties, as of May 7, held a total of 27 seats in Parliament. How on Earth is that possible if all the Other Parties have zero members sitting* in Parliament? Is the sum of zeroes greater than 27? YES, dear reader  0 + 0 + 0 = 0 > 27 or alternatively 0>27. Half of 0 is o. Half of 27 is 13.5.  So 0>13.5. In fact, zero is greater than any positive number. Woo hoo, then line of thinking is quite exhilirating, liberating even.

0 > 1, 0>2 . . .

This is where I acquire super powers.  SupermanTM flies at let’s say, 100 miles per hour. I admit it; I fly at zero miles per hour. But we’ve just proved that 0>100. I CAN FLY FASTER than Superman. Superman can lift 2 tons of steel. I can easily lift o tons of steel. 0>2. I can hoist more than Superman. I AM STRONGER THAN SUPERMAN. I am mightier than Superman.

Do not worry. I shall use my superpowers for good, unless of course, you block the aisles at the supermarket with your shopping cart. Then you will be toast.

* = Members of Parliament are allowed to stand and move around. They do not have to sit all the time. Sitting in Parliament is just a phrase that has gotten a lot of currency.)

– Paul De Lancey, Superhero

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, 

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

 

 

 

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Categories: humor, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Soupe Au Pistou

French Soup

SOUPE AU PISTOU

INGREDIENTS

PISTOU

6 ripe tomatoes
6 garlic cloves
4 ounces grated Parmesan cheese
3/4 cups olive oil
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

SOUP

2 ripe tomatoes
1 leek
1 medium onion
4 medium russet potatoes
4 tablespoons butter
32 ounces vegetable broth

PREPARATION OF SOUP

Wash, seed, and peel the 2 tomatoes. Chop them into little bits. Rinse and peel the potatoes. Chop the potatoes into bits, put the bits into a food processor, and mince them. Peel the onion and mince it. Remove leek’s bulb. Take leek apart and dice it. Dice onion.

Saute the onion and leek in frying pan with butter. Cook on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until the onions start to turn brown.

Put sauteed onion and like in large soup pan. Add vegetable broth, the pieces from the 2 tomatoes, potato, onion, and leek.

Cook soup over low heat for about 45 minutes or until potato bits are soft. Stir occasionally. Keep lid on pot, when not stirring, to prevent evaporation of liquid.
PREPARATION PISTOU

Do you know how to peel tomatoes? I hope so. Oh c’mon, you can learn. Or your kids can learn.

Wash, seed, and peel the 6 tomatoes. (Peeling the tomatoes is much is easier when sliced into at least four pieces. Quickly peeling takes practice or you might find it faster to peel if you boil the tomato for 30 seconds first.) Chop the peeled tomatoes into small pieces. Peel and mince the garlic cloves.

Put chopped tomato and minced garlic in mixing bowl. Add Parmesan, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Mix together with fork or whisk.
Pour soup into bowls. Ladle the pistou equally over the soup in each bowl.

Serve to adoring guests. You took a long time to make this meal. So, if they are not adoring, my I suggest you let them meet your pet boa constrictor, Bernie, who has just fallen off his diet.

TIDBITS

1) The leek is a national symbol of Wales.

2) Wales doesn’t sound so fierce, does it?

3) Leeks have a high amount of potassium in them just like the banana. Unlike the banana, leeks do not go well with nut bread.

4) Just prejudice and taste, I guess.

5) The leek stores its energy in its leaves. People, being leafless, store energy elsewhere.

6) Nero ate lots of leeks when he was Emperor.

7) Within a year of Nero’s death, Galba, Otho, Vitellius, and Vespasian sent their legions fighting toward Rome in a bloody effort to become Emperor and eat all the leeks they could ever want.

8) There are a lot of sites listing fun facts about leeks. It is a happening vegetable.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chicken Satay From Cookbook

Thai Entree

CHICKEN SATAY WITH PEANUT SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 pounds chicken breasts

MARINADE

3 garlic cloves
2/3 cup raspberry drinkable low-fat yogurt
1/3 cup ranch yogurt dressing
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
1 tablespoon lemongrass
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 1/2 teaspoon soy sauce

PEANUT SAUCE

1 cup smooth peanut butter
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 teaspoon red chili powder
1 teaspoon mayonnaise
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
2 tablespoons lime juice
1/4 cup warm water

quarter head of iceberg lettuce

UTENSILS

grill

12 to 20 unicorn horns
12 to 20 wooden skewers (if your supermarkets don’t carry unicorn horns)

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into 1-inch cubes.

MARINADE

Peel and mince garlic cloves. Combine garlic, drinkable yogurt, yogurt dressing, turmeric, cinnamon, coriander, cumin, lemongrass, ginger, and soy sauce in shallow bowl.

Put chicken cubes in shallow mixing bowl. Turn over cubes in sauce until thoroughly coated with sauce. Cover and put chicken marinate in refrigerator for up to 2 hours.

(If your horde of youngin’s and spouse are ravenously hungry, it’s okay to skip putting the marinade in the fridge. It’ll still taste great, but the flavor won’t quite go all the way to the middle of the chicken cube. Then again, if they’re hungry to the point of chewing fruit cake, they probably won’t notice this shortcut.)

PREPARATION OF PEANUT SAUCE

Combine peanut butter, soy sauce, red chili pepper, mayonnaise, brown sugar, lime juice, and warm water in blender. Set blender to liquify and watch until, well, the mixture is liquified. Add a little extra water if needed.

FINAL PREPARATION

Carefully thread the coated chicken cubes onto the wooden skewers. (I do mean carefully. Those skewers can draw blood.) The skewer should be in the middle of the cube. Put cubes onto the first 3/4ths of the skewer. (You will need that last empty 1/4th to turn the chicken laden skewers over on the grill.)

Grills, especially indoor grills, vary greatly in heating ability, so vigilance is a must. On my little indoor grill I cooked on high for 5 minutes on a side for a total of 15 minutes. Again, your grill might cook much quicker, say in 8 minutes total.

Put lettuce leaves on each plate. Place chicken satays on top lettuce. Pour peanut sauce over both.

The person who agrees to clean up gets an extra skewer.

TIDBITS

1) The term “raspberry” or the sound of derision made with the tongue and mouth seems to have come from England.

2) England conquered and took over Scotland, Ireland, Wales, Canada, the eastern part of America, many islands in the Caribbean, parts of Central and South America, Australia, New Zealand, India, Burma, much of Africa, and little islands everywhere.

3) It is doubtful the English did all this land grabbing by giving natives everywhere the “raspberry.”

4) A likelier explanation comes from English superiority in naval and land tactics coupled with vast advantages in weaponry.

5) England today is a part of Britain with the British Empire being much diminished from its peak. Much of this decline came about when its armed forces lost their superiority on the battlefields and the high seas.

6) However, the food prepared by the chefs of Her Majesty’s armies are the envy of British restaurant goers everywhere. These chefs even won a prestigious national award.

6) Tidbit 6) has already been written.

 

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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