Posts Tagged With: Wales

Fun Festivals – World Bog Snorkeling Championships

Are you tired of flying halfway across the world only to see the same exotic fish? And then the fish are hard to spot because they’ve been frightened and found hiding places. Why are the fish hiding? Because billions and billions snorkeling enthusiasts have inundated the reef. What two-inch fish wouldn’t be scared off by 200-pound oafs thrashing about my home? I would be too.

Face it, any place to snorkel that is infested by human leviathans is better than any spot with brilliantly colored fish. Where is this place you wonder? I am glad you asked.

Make your way to the World Bog Snokeling Championships in LLanwrtyd, Wales in August. Sure you could snorkel LLanwrtyd’s bog in other months when there would be even fewer people around. But what if you’re bursting with competitive spirit? Then you really must go for the championships. Trust me, they’re still won’t be many fellow snorkelers around. And you can be darned sure they won’t be scaring off any beautiful, tropical fish.

People come from all over the world to race 120-yards through a peat bog. Is it difficult? Dunno. But it is only 120 yards long. Many find the competition to be intense. People root on their favorite snorkelers. They might even bet on it, though not as yet over the internet.

Are there rules? Yes. Are they necessary? Yes. Are they boring? Again yes.

But if you’re an ironman, if you’re a triathlete, you simply must enter in the Bog Snorkeling Championships. It consists of an 8-mile run, a 12-mile Mountain Bike ride, and a 60-yard bog snorkel.
There’s lots of fun for the spectators as well. Graze and quaff your way through the food and drink stands. Work your way to the ale and cider bar. Listen to live music as your kids stampede the bouncy castle.  The festival encourages fancy dress. I have to believe , however, this request applies only to the spectators and not to the bog snorkelers.  Don’t put off making your travel plans. People are already booking hotels and BnBs. Try to get a place with nice, hot showers.
Gain prestige. Enter the contest. Make your travel plans. Do it now.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on


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How The British National Election Will Give Me Super Powers


According to USA Today on May 7, 2015, Britain’s Green Party held one seat in Parliament. There were much larger parties holding many more seats vying for control of the country’s destiny. However, they are of no interest to us and we shall ignore them.

The main thing to notice is that Other Parties held 27 seats.  According to USA Today, other parties “Includes smaller parties from Northern Ireland, Wales, and Independents.” Okay fine, but what is smaller than one? Zero! (Okay, 1/2 is smaller than one. But you can’t have half a politician sitting* in Parliament or in the United States Congress for that matter. The incomplete he or she would die. It would be messy. Moreover, even though partial politicians are not specifically excluded from winning office in any country on this planet, there does seem to be a rather strong unwritten rule about it.)

Okay, now it gets exciting. USA Today claimed that the Other Parties, as of May 7, held a total of 27 seats in Parliament. How on Earth is that possible if all the Other Parties have zero members sitting* in Parliament? Is the sum of zeroes greater than 27? YES, dear reader  0 + 0 + 0 = 0 > 27 or alternatively 0>27. Half of 0 is o. Half of 27 is 13.5.  So 0>13.5. In fact, zero is greater than any positive number. Woo hoo, then line of thinking is quite exhilirating, liberating even.

0 > 1, 0>2 . . .

This is where I acquire super powers.  SupermanTM flies at let’s say, 100 miles per hour. I admit it; I fly at zero miles per hour. But we’ve just proved that 0>100. I CAN FLY FASTER than Superman. Superman can lift 2 tons of steel. I can easily lift o tons of steel. 0>2. I can hoist more than Superman. I AM STRONGER THAN SUPERMAN. I am mightier than Superman.

Do not worry. I shall use my superpowers for good, unless of course, you block the aisles at the supermarket with your shopping cart. Then you will be toast.

* = Members of Parliament are allowed to stand and move around. They do not have to sit all the time. Sitting in Parliament is just a phrase that has gotten a lot of currency.)

– Paul De Lancey, Superhero


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Soupe Au Pistou

French Soup




6 ripe tomatoes
6 garlic cloves
4 ounces grated Parmesan cheese
3/4 cups olive oil
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper


2 ripe tomatoes
1 leek
1 medium onion
4 medium russet potatoes
4 tablespoons butter
32 ounces vegetable broth


Wash, seed, and peel the 2 tomatoes. Chop them into little bits. Rinse and peel the potatoes. Chop the potatoes into bits, put the bits into a food processor, and mince them. Peel the onion and mince it. Remove leek’s bulb. Take leek apart and dice it. Dice onion.

Saute the onion and leek in frying pan with butter. Cook on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until the onions start to turn brown.

Put sauteed onion and like in large soup pan. Add vegetable broth, the pieces from the 2 tomatoes, potato, onion, and leek.

Cook soup over low heat for about 45 minutes or until potato bits are soft. Stir occasionally. Keep lid on pot, when not stirring, to prevent evaporation of liquid.

Do you know how to peel tomatoes? I hope so. Oh c’mon, you can learn. Or your kids can learn.

Wash, seed, and peel the 6 tomatoes. (Peeling the tomatoes is much is easier when sliced into at least four pieces. Quickly peeling takes practice or you might find it faster to peel if you boil the tomato for 30 seconds first.) Chop the peeled tomatoes into small pieces. Peel and mince the garlic cloves.

Put chopped tomato and minced garlic in mixing bowl. Add Parmesan, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Mix together with fork or whisk.
Pour soup into bowls. Ladle the pistou equally over the soup in each bowl.

Serve to adoring guests. You took a long time to make this meal. So, if they are not adoring, my I suggest you let them meet your pet boa constrictor, Bernie, who has just fallen off his diet.


1) The leek is a national symbol of Wales.

2) Wales doesn’t sound so fierce, does it?

3) Leeks have a high amount of potassium in them just like the banana. Unlike the banana, leeks do not go well with nut bread.

4) Just prejudice and taste, I guess.

5) The leek stores its energy in its leaves. People, being leafless, store energy elsewhere.

6) Nero ate lots of leeks when he was Emperor.

7) Within a year of Nero’s death, Galba, Otho, Vitellius, and Vespasian sent their legions fighting toward Rome in a bloody effort to become Emperor and eat all the leeks they could ever want.

8) There are a lot of sites listing fun facts about leeks. It is a happening vegetable.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on

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Chicken Satay

Thai Entree



1 1/2 pounds chicken breasts


3 garlic cloves
2/3 cup raspberry drinkable low-fat yogurt
1/3 cup ranch yogurt dressing
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
1 tablespoon lemongrass
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 1/2 teaspoon soy sauce


1 cup smooth peanut butter
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 teaspoon red chili powder
1 teaspoon mayonnaise
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
2 tablespoons lime juice
1/4 cup warm water

quarter head of iceberg lettuce



12 to 20 unicorn horns
12 to 20 wooden skewers (if your supermarkets don’t carry unicorn horns)


Cut chicken into 1-inch cubes.


Peel and mince garlic cloves. Combine garlic, drinkable yogurt, yogurt dressing, turmeric, cinnamon, coriander, cumin, lemongrass, ginger, and soy sauce in shallow bowl.

Put chicken cubes in shallow mixing bowl. Turn over cubes in sauce until thoroughly coated with sauce. Cover and put chicken marinate in refrigerator for up to 2 hours.

(If your horde of youngin’s and spouse are ravenously hungry, it’s okay to skip putting the marinade in the fridge. It’ll still taste great, but the flavor won’t quite go all the way to the middle of the chicken cube. Then again, if they’re hungry to the point of chewing fruit cake, they probably won’t notice this shortcut.)


Combine peanut butter, soy sauce, red chili pepper, mayonnaise, brown sugar, lime juice, and warm water in blender. Set blender to liquify and watch until, well, the mixture is liquified. Add a little extra water if needed.


Carefully thread the coated chicken cubes onto the wooden skewers. (I do mean carefully. Those skewers can draw blood.) The skewer should be in the middle of the cube. Put cubes onto the first 3/4ths of the skewer. (You will need that last empty 1/4th to turn the chicken laden skewers over on the grill.)

Grills, especially indoor grills, vary greatly in heating ability, so vigilance is a must. On my little indoor grill I cooked on high for 5 minutes on a side for a total of 15 minutes. Again, your grill might cook much quicker, say in 8 minutes total.

Put lettuce leaves on each plate. Place chicken satays on top lettuce. Pour peanut sauce over both.

The person who agrees to clean up gets an extra skewer.


1) The term “raspberry” or the sound of derision made with the tongue and mouth seems to have come from England.

2) England conquered and took over Scotland, Ireland, Wales, Canada, the eastern part of America, many islands in the Caribbean, parts of Central and South America, Australia, New Zealand, India, Burma, much of Africa, and little islands everywhere.

3) It is doubtful the English did all this land grabbing by giving natives everywhere the “raspberry.”

4) A likelier explanation comes from English superiority in naval and land tactics coupled with vast advantages in weaponry.

5) England today is a part of Britain with the British Empire being much diminished from its peak. Much of this decline came about when its armed forces lost their superiority on the battlefields and the high seas.

6) However, the food prepared by the chefs of Her Majesty’s armies are the envy of British restaurant goers everywhere. These chefs even won a prestigious national award.

6) Tidbit 6) has already been written.


– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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