humor

Pepper Jack Birds in a Sesame Blanket

Posted on August 5, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Entree

PEPPER JACK BIRDS IN A SESAME BLANKET

INGREDIENTSPepJackBirdsBlank-

4 ounces pepper jack cheese
8 turkey dogs
12 ounce package buttermilk biscuit dough
3/4 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice or poultry spice
2 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons sesame seeds
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSIL

cookie sheet

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Grate pepper jack cheese. Spray cookie sheet with no-stick spray. Divide dough into 8 pieces. Roll out or flatten each dough piece until it is sufficiently long and wide to wrap around a turkey dog. Sprinkle each dough piece with an even amount of cheese and Poultry MagicTM. Press cheese and Poultry MagicTM into dough.

Put a turkey dog near one end of a dough piece and wrap the dough around the turkey dog. Put this creation on a cookie sheet so that the dough overlaps on the bottom Otherwise, the dough might break apart. Egads. Brush dough with butter. Sprinkle dough with sesame seeds. Gently press seeds into surface of dough-wrapped turkey dogs.

Bake in oven at 400 degrees for 8-to-13 minutes (Yes, there is a lot of variation between ovens) or until dough is golden brown. Be sure to watch your pepper jack birds in a sesame blanket to make sure they don’t burn or cook unevenly. You might need to turn them over once if they appear to browning too quickly on the top while remaining doughy on the bottom.

Remove from oven and let cool for several nanoseconds before eating. ☺

TIDBITS

1) The cardinal is a bird. The St. Louis Cardinals use bats when they are at the plate.

2) Bats always turn left when leaving a cave. Why? Is this convention? Manners? Is there no room for artistic expression within the bat community? Is this why we never see bat art collections in the finest galleries? Does Batman always turn left when exiting his hideaway in his Batmobile?

3) The New Zealand Kea bird feasts on rubber strips around car windows. Can we use this knowledge to dispose of discarded rubber?

4) More than 10,000 birds a year die from colliding with windows. On the other wing, bird collisions have been known to bring down airplanes. Israel has lost more fighter planes to birds than it has in all its wars.

5) Chickens can run at a speed of 9 miles per hour. This figure is for short distances only. Chickens do not possess the stamina for the marathon or even the mile. The human record for the 100-yard dash is 9.2 seconds, or 23 miles per hour. So even if you are only half as fast as that, you will be able to outdistance any enraged chicken.

6) Well, as long as they don’t fly. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds. The longest distance for a solo chicken flight is 301 feet. Watch a chicken fly in this video for SmirnoffTM: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/160787/flying_chickens/.

7) It’s quite possible air forces everywhere have nightmares about flying chickens. If birds can accidentally decimate the Israeli air force, can you imagine what would happen if chickens took to the skies filled with blood lust?

8) An uneaten chicken can live to be eight  years old, an eaten one goes earlier. The popularity of chicken in cuisines around the world might really be prompted by nervous air force commanders.

9) Moles cannot fly. They are never found on the menus of air-force bases.

10) Moles, however, can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night. If you could put a mole on the day shift and on the swing shift, the mole team could excavate a tunnel 900 feet long in just one twenty-four-hour period.

11) Compare that achievement to the construction crew that’s torn up that important street near your house for two months just to dig a tunnel for sewer pipes. I say fire the human crew and replace them with moles who will get the excavating job done in no time. We will probably still need humans to place the one-ton sections of sewer pipes into the ground. As of press time, moles have shown no real inclination to operate heavy machinery.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

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Ask Dr. Economics: The Stock Market

Posted on August 4, 2013 by pauldelancey

Dear Dr. Economics,penny

Should I buy or sell General Electric.

–  Howard Theend
Anaconda, IN
✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉

Dear Howard,

Beats me,

– Dr. Economics
✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉

Dear Dr. Economics,

How, the heck, can you say you don’t know?

– Howard Theend                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        forecasting tool
✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉

Dear Mr. Theend,

I can say I don’t know because I know I don’t know.

– Dr. Economics
✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉

Dear Dr. Economics,

I know you can say you don’t know because you know you don’t know, but I know those stock market analysts on TV manage to make predictions. Why can’t you do the same?

– Howard Theend
✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉

Dear Mr. Theend,

Because the financial players with the billions of dollars have access to the same information. The price of a stock gets set according to that information. Random shocks account for any other movement of the stock’s price.

– Howard Theend
✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉

Dear Dr. Economics,

Then the analysts don’t know either. 1) How come they then talk for a half hour predicting stock prices? 2) How come you just say “Beats me?”

– Howard Theend
✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉

Dear Mr. Theend,

1) They get paid to predict for a half hour. 2) I don’t get paid to predict.

– Dr. Economics
✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉

Dear Dr. Economics,

How do you predict if the price of a particular stock is going to rise or fall?

– Howard Theend
✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉  ✉

Dear Mr. Theend,

I flip a penny. I have a success rate in my predictions of 50%. I hope this helps.

– Dr. Economics

Send your questions about economics by commenting on this post.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Ask Dr. Economics, humor | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Lavender Lemon Chicken

Posted on July 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Entree

LAVENDER LEMON CHICKEN

INGREDIENTSLavLemChicken-

4 chicken breasts
1/2 tablespoon thyme
2 teaspoons lavender
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons lemon juice
zest from 1 lemon
1/4 cup chicken stock
1/2 cup white wine
5 teaspoons honey

PREPARATION

Crush lavender with rolling pin. Mince garlic cloves. Add lavender, garlic, honey, thyme, lemon juice, lemon zest, salt, pepper, white wine, and chicken stock to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Add chicken breasts to mixing bowl. Coat chicken thoroughly with mixture in bowl. Marinate chicken for at least 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Put chicken and marinade in roasting pan. Roast chicken at 400 degrees for 40-to-50 minutes or until chicken has an internal temperature of 165 degrees or until juices from chicken, pierced by a fork, are clear. Turn chicken breasts over halfway through.

Transfer chicken breasts to large serving bowl. Pour juice from roasting pan over chicken. Serve and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) People in the Middle ages believe lemon juice dissolved fish bones. That is why they served a lemon slice with a fish entree; the slice would get rid of any accidentally swallowed fish bones.

2) Tidbit 1) shows us why the Middle Ages were also know as the Dark Ages. A fish bone might get stuck in a diner’s throat, the place where the bone could do the most harm. But how would a lemon slice help clear the tracheal passage? I would think the lemon slice would prevent breathing much more than a small fish bone.

3) Indeed in 1355, Antonio Pesto, of Pavia, Italy, thought the same way. In his horribly misspelled work, Pescatus Lemonatus Librecum Keteris Pareebus, experiments show how lemon juice will absolutely not dissolve a fish bone in time to prevent choking. Indeed, a lemon slice caught in the throat will cause many more deaths by asphyxiation.
4) Mortality rates plunged in plague ravage Europe after Pesto’s findings became widely disseminated.

5) Indeed, many modern scholars believe that 35% to 63% of all deaths attributed to the horrific Black Death plague of 1347 to 1352 were actually caused by lemon slices stuck in throats.

6) Lemonade was invented in 1378 as a way of letting people savor the taste of lemon without the danger of its slices. Life has gotten better for humanity ever since.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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The Darwin Murders Literary Event: Get Happy

Posted on July 18, 2013 by pauldelancey

Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, The Darwin Murders. This event takes place July 20 on Facebook. Click on the below link to find out more.

https://www.facebook.com/events/137774169753258/

We encourage you to have Fun with this event. C’mon, get happy.

And now a picture to inspire you as you plot your Darwin murder.

 

brunette2

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Locro de Papa – cheesy potato soup

Posted on July 17, 2013 by pauldelancey

Ecuadorian Soup

LOCRO DE PAPA
(cheesy potato soup)

INGREDIENTSLocroDePapa-

AJI SAUCE

1 tablespoon butter
1 tablespoon aji amarillo pepper
2  green onions stalks (3 stalks more later)
1 tablespoon vegetable oil (1 1/2 tablespoons more later)
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup sour cream (1/2 cup more later)
1 tablespoon ketchup
1 1/2 tablespoons lime juice
1/2 teaspoon cumin (2 teaspoons more later)
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt (1/2 teaspoon more later)

SOUP

1 white onion
3 garlic cloves
1 scallion
6 medium potatoes
1 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon achiote or annatto powder
1 teaspoon cilantro
2 teaspoons cumin
2 cups water
2 cups chicken broth
2/3 cups milk
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella or Monterey jack cheese
1 egg
2/3 cup grated or crumbled queso fresco or Monterey jack cheese
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
2 avocados
2 aji peppers or cayenne peppers
3 green onion stalks
2 small tomatoes

PREPARATION AJI AMARILLO SAUCE

Mince green onions. Melt butter on medium heat in sauce pan. Add 2 green onion stalks, aji amarillo pepper, and oil. Sauté at medium-high heat for 2 minutes or until all ingredients are well blended. Stir frequently.

Put sautéed mixture in mixing bowl. Add mayonnaise, sour cream, ketchup, lime juice, cumin, black pepper, and sea salt. Whisk together.

PREPARATION OF SOUP

Peel potatoes. Cut potatoes into 1″ cubes. Dice avocado, 3 green onion stalks, tomatoes, and aji or cayenne peppers.

Mince onion, garlic, and scallion. Put aji amarillo sauce, onion, and 1 1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil in pot. Sauté at medium-high heat or until onion is tender. Stir frequently.

Add potato cubes to pot. Stir until spices coat potato cubes. Sauté for 5 minutes on medium-high heat. Add water, chicken broth, achiote, cilantro, cumin, and salt. Simmer soup on low heat for 20 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Mash the potatoes in pot with potato masher until only small bits remain. Soup should be creamy. Stir occasionally. (No turning back, you’re almost there. Excelsior!)

Add milk, sour cream, egg, and mozzarella cheese. Simmer on low for 5 minutes or until cheese melts. Garnish with avocado, green onion, aji peppers, tomatoes, and queso fresco.

Lavishly praise anyone who went to the store to get you all these ingredients. Serve and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) Since 2001 the official currency in Ecuador has been the U.S dollar.

2) The exchange rate between the U.S. dollar in the United States and the U.S. dollar in Ecuador is 1:1. Hee! Sorry, that was the economist in me making a mad dash for supremacy.

3) The Ecuadorean flag is yellow for the nation’s diversity, blue for the sky and the sea, and red for the blood of those who fought in the war for independence.

4) There should be a Vulcan flag. Here goes. The Vulcan flag is yellow for the planet’s diversity, red for the sky, turquoise for the sea, and green for the blood of those who fought in the Federation’s Wars.

5) Ecuador was the first nation in 2008 to declare constitutional rights for nature. The Vulcan embassy is mute on this point despite numerous requests.

6) Wouldn’t it be way cool to have a contest to see who could visit the most embassies in Washington, DC? You’d have to get your contest book stamped by the embassy or pick up literature from the country about agriculture or something.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Fish with Peppers and Coconut Milk

Posted on July 15, 2013 by pauldelancey

Brazilian Entree

FISH WITH PEPPERS AND COCONUT MILK

INGREDIENTSCoconut_Milk-

1 red chile
1 red bell pepper
1 garlic clove
2 Roma tomatoes
1/2 onion (1/2 more later)
2 cod fillets (about 12 ounces total, or halibut or haddock)
2 teaspoons lime juice
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 tablespoon cilantro
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 cup coconut milk
2 tablespoons palm oil or vegetable oil (1 tablespoon more later)

1/2 tablespoon palm oil or vegetable oil
1/2 onion
1 cup cassava flour or all-purpose flour or toasted bread crumbs.

The camera was in Chicago when I made this dish so I couldn’t take a picture of it. Please enjoy the above picture.

PREPARATION

Seed and dice red chile and red bell pepper. Mince garlic clove. Dice tomatoes and 1/2 onion. Put cod in large mixing bowl. Pour enough water in bowl to cover cod. Add lime juice. Let sit for 30 minutes. Remove cod fillets. Pat them dry with towel. Put cod in skillet. Add red bell pepper, garlic, tomato, chili powder, cilantro, sea salt, and coconut milk. Let sit for 15 minutes.

Cook fish/spice/coconut mix on high heat until it begins to boil. Simmer at low heat with lid on for 5 minutes. Add 2 tablespoons palm oil. Simmer with lid on for 10 additional minutes.

While fish/spice/coconut mix simmers, thinly slice 1/2 onion. Sauté sliced onion second skillet with 1 tablespoon palm oil on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion is soft. Add cassava flour and cook on medium-high heat for 2 minutes or until flour is lightly toasted.

Serve fish/spice/coconut mix on top of sliced onions and toasted cassava flour.

TIDBITS

1) Over half of the world’s cassava production occurs in Africa.

2) Where does the other 40 percent plus come from?

3) I think we can rule out Antarctica as a major source of cassava.

4) Unless, of course, the scientists in Antarctica, have vast hydroponic farms devoted to growing cassava.

5) Wouldn’t it be neat if there were a movie called Hydroponic Cassava Farming in Antarctica. I’d see it. After all, I saw Salmon Fishing in the Yemen.

6) Salmon Fishing in the Yemen was One World, One Movie’s choice for it’s 2013 movie. People all over the world watched this movie on the same day to promote world peace and have fun. Please feel free to visit the event site at: https://www.facebook.com/events/384691621637151/.

7) If he were still alive John Cassavetes would have been a natural for Hydroponic Cassava Farming in Antarctica. The accomplished actor starred in The Dirty Dozen and Rosemary’s Baby.

8) Rosemary is an herb with many beneficial properties. However, some types of cassava possess cyanide compounds. These varieties must be cooked thoroughly to avoid lethal cyanide poisoning which is generally considered ban especially by law enforcement.

9) But this would make for a really cool murder mystery. After all, who wouldn’t go see the movie, The Hydroponic Cassava Murders?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Roasted Red Peppers with Baguettes

Posted on July 10, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Entree

ROASTED RED PEPPERS WITH BAGUETTES

INGREDIENTSRoastedRPwB-

4 red bell peppers
3 cloves garlic
1 cup olive oil
4 teaspoons herbes de Provence
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon mignonette pepper (or pepper)
2 baguettes

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Bake bell peppers in baking dish at 450 degrees. Turn every 8 minutes until skin blackens on all sides. Remove bell peppers and put in a paper lunch bag. Close lunch bag and let bell peppers sweat for an hour.. Do not, do not, for the love of God, Montressor, take them out early.

If you take the red bell peppers out of the bag early, you will find it so difficult to remove the skin from the bell peppers. You will be so frustrated by this that you will find yourself going constantly to the DMV just to be in a happier place. You will become a DMV groupie. Do not let this happen. Keep those bell peppers in the bag for the full hour.

While the bell peppers are steaming in the sack, mince garlic cloves. Put garlic, olive oil, herbes de Provence, salt, and pepper in mixing bowl and mix with fork.

Because you will need to peel those bell peppers. Cut the peppers into thin short strips. Spoon mix with liquid over baguette slices. Serve to adoring guests. Unappreciative guests get bonked over the head with a stale baguette. Sacré bleu

The bell pepper/olive oil mixed can also be used Provençale Roasted Red Pepper Soup.

TIDBITS

1) This was supposed to have been called Rhone River Roasted Red Pepper Soup for its alliterative beauty, but that title would have been too long to fit on one line.

2) And without beauty, what is there? Might as well sit in dentists’ waiting room.

3) Fortunately, beauty exists everywhere.

4) We can thank the French Revolution which erupted in 1789 to protect the rights of the common person and to protect beauty.
5) Many people died ensuring that Revolution would succeed. Generations of Frenchmen would go to war before France would finally get a stable republic.

6) With a stable republic, artists need no longer go to war. They become free to create beautiful works of art.

7) So after all that, how could I mar beauty with a two-line title?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Sunshine Milkshake

Posted on July 8, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

SUNSHINE MILKSHAKE

INGREDIENTSSunshineMilk-

1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup orange juice
1/2 cup sugar
2 bananas

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Peel the bananas. Put bananas, milk, orange juice, sugar, and vanilla extract. Use “milkshake” setting. Blend until shake is sufficiently smooth for your taste.

With the time you saved making this simple recipe over a more complicated one, you can read War and Peace.

TIDBITS

1) Seasoned fishermen put vanilla extract on their hands so fish can’t smell them. How fish hundreds of feet deep in the ocean can smell human way up there in a boat is beyond me.

2) If fish have such a good sense of smell, maybe the TSA should hire them to sniff for drugs and explosives at airports.

3) Of course, the TSA would have to provide fish bowls for their aquatic brethren or the fish would die. And stink. And then no one would want to fly, except the bad guys who would be easy to arrest as they were the only ones flying.

4) Unless, of course, the TSA people eat the fish when they die. Maybe use some lemon juice.

5) It’s an interesting legal question. May a fish working for the federal government be eaten?

6) In 1519, Montezuma invited Cortez to share a chocolate drink (Xocolatl) with him. Cortez accepted the invitation. Cortez soon afterward seized Montezuma and executed him. This is more than bad manners on the part of a guest. If Cortez had not gotten into see Montezuma, he couldn’t have decapitated the leadership of the great Aztec nation. The resulting disarray in the Aztec command gave Cortez enough of an advantage to conquer Mexico.

7) The Spanish went on to conquer Central America, much of South America, and what became the southwestern part of the United States. One can only imagine how culinary history would have been changed in the Americas if this had not have happened.

8) So think about that when you invite someone over for hot chocolate.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Safari Burger From Kenya

Posted on July 7, 2013 by pauldelancey

Kenyan Entree

SAFARI BURGER

INGREDIENTSSafariBurg-

1 onion
3 cloves garlic
1 pound ground beef
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 teaspoon curry powder
1/2 turmeric
4 tablespoons lemon juice

lettuce
4 hamburger buns

makes 4 hamburgers

SPECIAL UTENSIL

no-stick frying pan

PREPARATION

Mince onion and garlic cloves. In large mixing bowl, mix or, to use the scientific term, “moosh” together onion, garlic, ground beef, pepper, cayenne, curry powder, turmeric, and lemon juice. Form 4 patties.

Put patties in frying pan. Fry at medium-high heat with lid on for about 15 minutes or until the insides of the patties are done to the desired level of pinkness or brownness. There should be no need to flip the patties as the lemon juice should help cook the patties evenly. Also, these patties are crumbly, so flipping them over might make them fall apart.

Toast hamburger buns while patties are cooking. Serve patties together with lettuce on hamburger buns. This burgers have a delightful spicy/lemony kick to them.

TIDBITS

1) Safaris were originally hunting expeditions in East Africa.

2) Later safaris included journeys for tourists who wanted to see wild animals, well, in the wild.

3) San Diego’s Safari Park has short tours where you hop in busses and jeeps and take pictures of their critters for an additional fee.

4) The Park’s expeditions are thus firmly rooted in the modern, non-violent meaning of the word, “safari.”

5) Indeed, the authorities and personnel of Safari Park who look askance at you, if you and your friends took shotguns on the tour and blasted away at the park’s wildlife.

6) They’d probably end the tour right then and there and not give you a refund.

7) One could even imagine an even more vigorous response by the folks of Safari Park, one involving, say, SWAT teams.

8) Safari Park used to be called Wild Animal Park. I prefer the old name. I like to think the animals there agree with me.

– Chef Paul

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Potato Epazote Soup From Mexico

Posted on July 3, 2013 by pauldelancey

Mexican Soup

POTATO EPAZOTE SOUP

INGREDIENTSPotEpazSoup-

½ pound potatoes
1 medium white onion
1 Serrano chile (2 more later)
3 tablespoons butter
4 teaspoons epazote
4 cups chicken broth
2 Serrano chiles
¼ cup fresh cilantro
½ cup toasted tortilla squares

Makes about 4 bowls.

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Mince potatoes and onion. Dice cilantro. Seed and dice 1 Serrano chile. (For goodness sake, wash your hands thoroughly after handling Serrano chiles.)

Combine potato, onion, 1 diced Serrano chile, butter, and epazote in pot. Sauté on medium heat for 5 minutes or until potato or onion starts to brown. Stir frequently. Add broth. Cook on low-medium heat for 15 minutes or until potato softens. Stir occasionally. While soup simmers, seed and dice 2 Serrano chiles. Dice cilantro. Ladle soup into bowls. Garnish with 2 diced Serrano chiles, tortillas squares, and cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) Respect the herb epazote.

2) Epazote is an acquired taste for many. Some people like its lemony smell. However, its detractors compare epazote’s aroma to petroleum’s.

3) Epazote is a digestive and carminative.

4) And a carminative is….Looks up carmnative….Oh crudness, it causes farts. So don’t consume vast quantities of epazote before a big date or job interview.

5) According to internet, “Often times it can be considered an evasive weed as it can be found growing voluntarily in gardens and fields.” Wow, it can evade people, people who want to pull it because it’s a weed. How does it evade people? By walking? Crawling? Flying? Regrettably the website is mute on this exciting point.

6) The “growing voluntarily” part is exciting. “Dear epazote, would you like to grow here? I won’t force you.”
“Oh yes, your garden looks most inviting.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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