Posts Tagged With: literary

Great Moments in Literature and Literary Criticism

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The following line comes from a well-known and well-respected author of Westerns,

“He could feel the heat from below; since heat rises, …”

Whoa! Heat rises? Did the author do his research?

. . .

Okay, now here is where the great moment in literary criticism comes in. I wrote down that quote but not the author’s name. I think the quote came from one of Clarence E. Mulford’s Hopalong Cassidy novels, but I’m not sure. I did read the book, but forgot the title. Or maybe I listened to it as an audio book. There you go.

– Paul R. De Lancey – soon to be out of work literary critic

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

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Sausage and Pepperoni Pizza

Italian Entree

SAUSAGE AND PEPPERONI PIZZA

INGREDIENTSSausagePeppPizza-

1 pizza crust
2 cups pasta sauce (see recipe)
8 ounces sausage meat
4 ounces sliced pepperoni
1⅔ cups mozzarella cheese

SPECIAL UTENSIL

16″ pizza pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Put pizza crust on pizza pan. Spread pasta sauce over entire crust. Make ½” sausage balls. Put sausage balls and pepperoni slice evenly over sauce. Bake pizza in oven at 400 degrees for 10-to-15 minutes or until cheese turns golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Pizza has a long and rich history. So does the game of rock, paper, scissors.

2) The game started as rock, rock, rock in Vivaldi Gorge in the year 3,200,010 BC.. The game was played with real rocks and always ended in a tie. Caveman Ogg never lost. He even considered going pro, but stopped from a lack of corporate sponsors.

3) Ten years later Ogg accused Lucy from Olduvai Gorge of cheating. The enraged Ogg used the rock to brain his foe. Ogg fictionalized the account of his bloody deed on his cave’s walls. This was the start of the literary crime genre. So some good came out of it.

4) Lucy’s kin attacked Ogg’s family, driving them far away. In 1949 Drs. Leakey started looking for human bones in Vivaldi Gorge. Ten years later, they switched to Olduvai Gorge and found the bones of Lucy next to a tablet inscribed with the cryptic code of W-0, L-0, T-1,723. Oh, a baseball was found as well, but that’s almost certainly an artifact.

5) In 1845, Alexander Cartwright formalized the rules of baseball. Baseball with its clear victor took America and much of the world by storm. Dr. Simon Iota did change the game of rock, rock, rock to rock, paper, scissors, paper in 1867. But the new rules came too late. Baseball would reign supreme. Rock, paper, scissors is hardly played and is never shown on T.V., except maybe on ESPN4 at 4 a.m. on Tuesdays.

– Chef Paul

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Please check out Paul De Lancey’s books on Amazon.com.

or visit his website www.lordsoffun.com for signed copies.

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Deborah K. Mason: A Winner of The Darwin Murders Literary Event

In The  Darwin Murders Literary Event, I am pleased to announce winner number one of two. Please join with me in congratulating Deborah for her submission; A Crushing Weight.

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Deborah K. Mason

A Crushing Weight

She was waiting when he finally arrived home, always waiting. A blubbery mass of human flesh. That was how he thought of Maude nowadays. However, tonight there was something different about her. Not that he paid much attention to her lately. Peggy at the local diner he paid plenty of attention to, along with numerous other women. All thin, unlike big Maude. Standing there naked smiling at him.

She wordlessly took his hand leading him to the bedroom they hadn’t shared in years. Her grip on his hand was strong. Her hair hung loose, makeup flawless. In the candle lit bedroom he saw the woman he married. A beautiful shrewd woman, foundation of his real estate empire. A passionate woman, until illness caused her to balloon in size.

They were the most hated couple in Cedar Woods, snapping up property, tossing folks into the streets. Maude was the brains behind their legal and illegal operation. The reason he didn’t divorce her despite his aversion to her weight. Maude captured his attention as she laid him on the bed, music softly playing. She danced as she removed his clothes. A fire started deep in his loins. Maude was a vixen, a Jezebel. Teasing him until he was naked.

Relax.” She whispered. Liquid heat raced through his body. Maude mounted him, her weight bore down until he passed out.

After the funeral Maude kept her appointment for bypass surgery. She returned property to victimized homeowners before beginning a new life. Far from town.

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Deborah K. Mason is an avid reader who enjoys writing short stories and poetry. Writing, researching and reading up on gruesome murders, mysteries, horror. She lives somewhere on Planet Earth with her children, The “Crew.”

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The Darwin Murders Literary Event: Get Happy

Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, The Darwin Murders. This event takes place July 20 on Facebook. Click on the below link to find out more.

https://www.facebook.com/events/137774169753258/

We encourage you to have Fun with this event. C’mon, get happy.

And now a picture to inspire you as you plot your Darwin murder.

brunette2

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The Darwin Murders Literary Event: Have You Done Your Good Deed?

Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to theKindle e-book anthology, The Darwin Murders. This literary event takes place July 20 on Facebook. Click on the below link to find out more.

https://www.facebook.com/events/137774169753258/

And now, a few pictures to inspire you.

darwinDDarwinCovermonsters

 

 

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Terri Lynn Coop, Winner of Bump Off Your Enemies Literary Event

In the Bump Off Your Enemies Literary Event,I am pleased to announce winner number two of two.terricoo

Please join with me in congratulating Terri for
her submission; IT’S NOT EASY BEING GREEN.

By: Terri Lynn Coop

‘It’s not easy being green…’

The refrain from the old Muppets tune ran through my head as I stirred the lime jello.
I hate this fucking stuff. Ten years of unholy hell masquerading as holy matrimony. I could stand the arguments. The boredom. The never-ending laundry. However, by far, the worst of it was his insistence on lime jello every Sunday. Said it reminded him of his mother. Never red. Never orange. Once I substituted blue and he sulked for three days. Always green. And always in molds. As if I didn’t have enough to do.

Well, tonight I changed up mom’s recipe just a bit. In each of those putrid jiggling four-leaf clovers was a little surprise.
I didn’t know Visine was deadly until I saw an episode of “America’s Most Interesting Poisons.” The cable channels are so educational.
Squeeze. Drip. Squeeze. Drip. Squeeze. Drip.

As I got to the last hollow in the mold, a new song appeared in my head.

‘I can see clearly now…’
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Terri Lynn Coop manages emergencies by day, writes by night, and is an unapologetic geek the rest of the time. She has been known to blog at http://readinrittinrhetoric.blogspot.com/

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Putting Our Dead-Beat Ghosts To Work

For too long American ghosts have been living the high life feasting on our psychic energy.

What do these ghosts give us in return? ghostNothing, and that’s bad for us living folks. And truly, subsisting on stealing our psychic energy has to be demoralizing to these ghosts who haven’t done an honest day’s work in their deaths.

Likewise, it’s time for us the living to get over our prejudice over hiring dead workers.  Let’s face it, being dead is one of life’s truly enduring resume stains. Can you recall even one instance of a ghost getting a job over an able-bodied person. I though not.

But it needn’t be this way. There are many jobs that ghosts can do better than the living. Please consider:

1) Hiring ghosts as security guards. They’d scare the heck out of robbers and even if tempted wouldn’t be able to cart away your valuables.

2) Use them as night lights. Look at how the eyes of the young woman in this picture. See how they glow. Don’t you want a little bit of light when you need to visit the bathroom at 3 am?

3) They’d be great for the CIA. They can fly anywhere, pass through  and spy on anyone without being seen.

4) They’d be superb scouts for our armed forces. Even if caught–and how would that happen–how could any enemy kill them?

5) They could periodically check inside our nuclear reactors for leaks. What could radiation do to them? Many ghosts already glow a bit.

6) Nighttime security. Living people hate working at night and by themselves. Ghosts love it.

Ghosts and people working together. It’s a win-win situation.

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Still time to enter the *Bump Off Your Enemies* Literary Event
Hosted by Candace C. Bowen and me, Paul R. De Lancey
https://www.facebook.com/events/501973503178459/

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