Posts Tagged With: Shakespeare

Beninese Peanut Sauce

Beninese Appetizer

PEANUT SAUCE

INGREDIENTSpeanutsauce

1 small tomato
1 small onion
2 tablespoons peanut oil
1½ tablespoons chili powder
¼ teaspoon salt
1 cube MaggiTM beef bouillon*
1 cup water
10 tablespoons smooth peanut butter

* = While other boullion cubes work fine, Maggi’s are incredibly popular in Africa.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

Makes 1½ cups. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Puree tomato in blender. Mince onion. Add onion and peanut oil to pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add tomato puree, chili powder, and salt. Reduce heat to low and sauté for 3 minutes. Stir frequently.

Crush boullion cube. (This makes it dissolve quicker.) Add bouillon and water. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Add peanut butter. Reduce heat to low. Simmer for 15 minutes or until sauces thickens to your liking. Stir frequently. This is served in Benin with boiled yam. It also goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) Peanut Sauce is, of course, an anagram for Tuna Ape Cues. Queen Mary I hated the theater, thinking it immoral. She tried fervently to ban it altogether, but succeeded only in driving theater going underground. People attended ribald plays in people’s attics where such animalistic passions such as hand holding and improv comedy took place. Mary I could not abide this licentiousness, so she imposed hateful regulations, such as having all roles played by gorillas holding tuna.

2) It’s important to realize that Joe Ape’s vocabulary was, and still is, quite limited, making line memorization challenging. And as with humans, line retention goes down while holding tuna. So, stage hands constantly cued the tuna holding apes. Hence, “Tuna Ape Cues.” The next queen, Elizabeth permitted human actors. To honor his new patron, Shakespeare, playwright, chef, and anagrammatist, turned Tuna Apes Cues into Peanut Sauce. His peanut sauce was tasty. What luck!

cookbookhunksChef Paul

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World,  with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Kabsa Spice Mix

Saudi Appetizer

KABSA SPICE MIX

INGREDIENTSKabsaSpice-

2 1/4 teaspoons allspice
2 1/4 teaspoons cardamom
3/4 teaspoon cloves, ground
½ tablespoon coriander
½ tablespoon cinnamon
½ tablespoon fennel
3/4 teaspoon ginger
½ teaspoon lime or orange zest
½ tablespoon pepper
½ tablespoon turmeric

Makes 4 2/3 tablespoons

Note: The above list of ingredient assumes the spices to be already ground. However, spice mixes taste better when using grinding your own spices. However, if you think the effort in tracking down ginger root, cardamom pods, cinnamon stick, cloves, and peppercorns might turn you into an axe-wielding murderer, please consider using already ground spices.

PREPARATION

Mix ingredients together with fork.

TIDBITS

1) Isn’t that the shortest preparation instruction you’ve ever seen?

2) William Shakespeare could have had the shortest resume ever. All he would have needed to write was, “I am available.”

3) The smallest country in the world is Vatican City with an area of 0.2 square miles and 770 permanent residents. This tiny nation is the spiritual center for over one billion Roman Catholics.

4) Monaco gets the silver medal in the small-countries event with an area 0.7 squares miles and 32,000 people. It’s ruled by Prince Albert II. This nation maintains its independence from France only as long as the princely line produces heirs. Last time I checked the good prince had not produced kids, much less get married. Get cracking, Albert.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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French Onion Soup

French Soup

FRENCH ONION SOUP

INGREDIENTSFrenchOnion-

2 large onions
2 garlic cloves
6 ounces Gruyère cheese
2 tablespoons butter
4 cups beef broth
2 tablespoons dry sherry or dry white wine
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 bay leaf
6 slices French bread

PREPARATION

Preheat broiler to 350 degrees.

Mince garlic cloves and onions. Grate cheese. Add garlic, onion, and butter to pot. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add broth, sherry, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper, and bay leaf to pot. Bring to boil on high heat, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to low and simmer covered for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally.

While soup simmers, toast bread slices. Sprinkle toasted bread slices with cheese. Bake slices at 350 degrees for 3-to-5 minutes or until cheese is bubbly and golden brown. Ladle soup into bowls and gently place bread slices on top of soup.

TIDBITS

1) Archeologists believe the Japanese ate fish soup as early as 15,000 years ago.

2) However, the opera composer Guiseppe Verdi (1813-1901, 1942) ate chicken noodle soup when he needed inspiration. It is quite clear that Mr. Verdi had a time machine to be alive in 1942. He probably looked around, saw the world at war, wasn’t impressed, and went back to his own time.

3) The French poet Beaudelaire loved onion soup. His pet bat, Skippy, kept in a cage on Beaudelaire’s desk resented the poet’s attention to this soup and went back in time to prevent the invention of soup. Skippy’s attempt met with limited success, however, removing soup from the time line only during the Elizabethan Era. This is why Shakespeare never mentions the word soup in any of his plays or sonnets.

4) According to Europe’s Patent Office, the most frequently requested patent document is for sardine-flavored ice cream. This delicacy is made from the noble onion (featured in this recipe), ferment soybean paste, rice wine, milk, alcohol, and nut pastes. Road trip to Europe!

– Chef Paul
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Simple Loempias (Indonesian egg rolls)

Indonesian Entree

SIMPLE LOEMPIAS
(Indonesian egg rolls)

INGREDIENTSLoempias-

1 inch ginger root (or 1 tablespoon ginger powder)
2 chicken breasts
1 large carrot
1/2 pound white cabbage or cabbage
1/2 onion
1 8 ounce can bamboo shoots
2 tablespoons peanut oil (3-to-6 tablespoons later)
1/2 pound bean sprouts
1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 egg
24 egg-roll wraps
3-to-6 tablespoons peanut oil

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder
electric skillet

PREPARATION

Grind ginger root in powder with spice grinder. Dice chicken, carrot, cabbage, and onion. Add ginger. chicken, carrot, cabbage, onion, bamboo shoots, and 2 tablespoons peanut oil to pan. Sauté for 5 minutes on medium-high heat or until onions soften. Stir frequently.

Add bean sprouts, and soy sauce to pan. Cook for 5 minutes on medium heat or until chicken is done. Stir frequently. Remove from heat.

Scramble egg in small bowl. Place one corner of an egg roll wrap toward you. Put 2 tablespoons of the chicken/veggie mix about 1/3 of the way up from the bottom corner. Fold bottom corner up until it covers the mix. Fold sides in until they touch the mix. Roll up wrap from the bottom. Spread some of the scrambled egg under and on top of the flap of the egg-roll wrap.. (This keeps it from unraveling.)

Put 3 tablespoons peanut oil in electric skillet. Heat oil to 350 degrees. Be careful putting eggs rolls into hot oil. (It’s a good idea to wear an apron, long sleeves, and hold the skillet top in your other hand while doing this.) Fry for 5 minutes or until spring rolls turn golden brown. Turn occasionally to ensure even cooking. You will probably need to fry in patches. Add up to 3 tablespoons peanut oil as necessary.
TIDBITS

1) Cabbage is an essential ingredient in this recipe. Cabbage also has a rich history in literature and culture as can be seen by the following quotes.

“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”
– Mark Twain

3) “’Good worts! Good cabbage. Slender, I broke your head: what matter have you against me?’

– Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor

3) “Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.”
– Ambrose Bierce, A Devil’s Dictionary

4) “I want death to find me planting my cabbage”
Michel de Montaigne

5) “Idealist: One who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup”
– H. L. Mencken

6) “At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage”
– John Andrew Holmes

7) “Cabbaged” is the longest word that can be played on a musical instrument. It probably sounds awful.

8) Cabbage has been used by many for decades to ridicule America’s government. It goes like this:
Lord’s Prayer – 66 words
Ten Commandments – 297 words
Declaration of Independence – 1,335 words
Gettysburg Address – 271 words
Federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage – 26,911 words

Unfortunately  the bit about the federal directive isn’t true. There is no source for it. Sorry.

9) “ A good wife, rich cabbage soup, what more do you need?”
– Russian Proverb

10) “At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage”
– John Andrew Holmes

11) “Like warmed-up cabbage served at each repast, repetition kills the wretch at last.”
– Juvenal

11) “Cabbage, eww!”
– Little kids everywhere

cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Roy Rogers Recipe

American Dessert

ROY ROGERS

INGREDIENTS??????????

6 ounces cola (Mexican cola still uses sugar)
1/2 tablespoon grenadine
1 maraschino cherry (with stem is preferred)
ice (optional)

PREPARATION

Put all ingredients in tall glass. Stir. Drink. Repeat as needed.

TIDBITS

1) Roy Rogers was known as “King of the Cowboys.”

2) Roy is old French for king.

3) Only kings were allowed to rule France. According to Salic law a queen could never inherit the throne of France.

4) Henry IV of England claimed the French throne in 1415 based on tidbit 3). He and his English army routed French chivalry at the battle of Agincourt.

5) Shakespeare’s play Henry IV and the movie versions by Sir Lawrence Olivier and Kenneth Brannagh were all based on tidbit 4).

6) I’ll have to watch what I put down in my tidbits. Clearly, I have an awesome responsibility.
cover

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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