Posts Tagged With: Vatican

Bacon & Chocolate Party Wants You to Head Your Own Federal Department

How often has this happened to you?posterpp

You: Gah! I wish we had enough money to buy yogurt-covered pretzels.
Spouse: We can’t. You have a lousy job.
You: I wish I could find a better one.
Me: Well now you can. With Republican candidates dropping by the wayside, and the Democratic rivals in a fight to the end, the time has come for the Bacon & Chocolate Party to sweep to victory. With his imminent landslide election I, President Paul De Lancey, am going to need lots of help running the government. It’s a big thing. Heck, I hope I don’t get lost in the White House. Hee! Hee!

Anyway, dozens of federal agencies and departments are going to need new secretaries to lead them. Why not claim your spot? The pay is good. You won’t have to do much. Simply promote bacon and chocolate and save our bees. And take naps. Where else can you get paid for taking naps? C’mon, what are you waiting for? Be the first on your block to head a federal department. And don’t forget, we have plum ambassadorships around the world. Simply respond, “I want to head this department and give your name.” You’ll be glad you did.

Note: The following positions are taken.

President: Paul R. De Lancey
Vice President: Candace C. Bowen
Speaker of the House: John Rucker

Agriculture: Launa McNeilly
Avoiding Labor: Stephen Parrish
Crisper: Michelle Hickman
Education: Jan Buckner
Event Organizer: Christine Olewiler
Extraterrestrial Welcoming Committee: Denise Hemphill
Food and Drug: Lee Diogeneia
Health Human Services And Cooking: Shauna Roberts
Interior: Kathi Gorecki Voskuil
State: Mark Kennet
Secret Service: Mike Allsopp
Treasury: Betty Ponterio
Tsar of Holidays: Kathleen Smiley

Ambassadorships:

Cuba: Daphne Anne Humphrey
Fiji: Amy Buckheister Gettinger
Luxembourg: Donna Cavanagh
Switzerland: Elizabeth Dickinson

– Paul R. De LanceyDeLanceyPaul
Future president of the United States of America.

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com.

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Kabsa Spice Mix

Saudi Appetizer

KABSA SPICE MIX

INGREDIENTSKabsaSpice-

2 1/4 teaspoons allspice
2 1/4 teaspoons cardamom
3/4 teaspoon cloves, ground
½ tablespoon coriander
½ tablespoon cinnamon
½ tablespoon fennel
3/4 teaspoon ginger
½ teaspoon lime or orange zest
½ tablespoon pepper
½ tablespoon turmeric

Makes 4 2/3 tablespoons

Note: The above list of ingredient assumes the spices to be already ground. However, spice mixes taste better when using grinding your own spices. However, if you think the effort in tracking down ginger root, cardamom pods, cinnamon stick, cloves, and peppercorns might turn you into an axe-wielding murderer, please consider using already ground spices.

PREPARATION

Mix ingredients together with fork.

TIDBITS

1) Isn’t that the shortest preparation instruction you’ve ever seen?

2) William Shakespeare could have had the shortest resume ever. All he would have needed to write was, “I am available.”

3) The smallest country in the world is Vatican City with an area of 0.2 square miles and 770 permanent residents. This tiny nation is the spiritual center for over one billion Roman Catholics.

4) Monaco gets the silver medal in the small-countries event with an area 0.7 squares miles and 32,000 people. It’s ruled by Prince Albert II. This nation maintains its independence from France only as long as the princely line produces heirs. Last time I checked the good prince had not produced kids, much less get married. Get cracking, Albert.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Be The First On Your Block To Be A Director Of A Federal Agency

You too can be in government with the Bacon & Chocolate Party. 
Come join our dedicated team.

President: Paul De Lancey

Vice President: Daphne Anne Humphrey

Avoiding Labor: Stephen Parrish
Bacon Protocol: Louise Corazza Busby
Education: Jan Buckner, Amy Buckheister Gettinger
Extraterrestrial Welcoming Committee: Denise Hemphill
Health Human Services And Cooking: Shauna Roberts
Office of Management and Budget: Mark Kennet
State: Franchesca Todd
Secret Service: Maria Kuroshchepova
Treasury: Andrea Isom

Chief Political Adviser: Jonna Pattillo

Ambassadorships:

Greece: Lisa Jean Boehles Henderson
South America & Caribbean: Joel Poole
Vatican: John Rucker

Vote Bacon & Chocolate for a Tasty Tommorow

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