Posts Tagged With: Worcestershire

Cuban Hamburger (Frita Cubana)

Cuban Entree

CUBAN HAMBURGER
(Frita Cubana)

INGREDIENTS

4 garlic cloves
1 onion
2 tablespoons olive oil
¾ teaspoon cumin
½ tablespoon Spanish paprika or paprika
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons ketchup
¼ chorizo (no casings)
1 pound ground beef
¾ pound ground pork
½ cup bread crumbs
2 tablespoons olive oil
1½ pounds shoestring potatoes (And cooking oil as well if deep frying or pan frying.)
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
12 hamburger rolls

Makes 12 hamburgers. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves and onion. Add garlic, onion, and olive to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion and garlic soften. Add sautéed onions and garlic, cumin, paprika, pepper, salt, ketchup, chorizo, ground beef, ground pork, and bread crumbs. Mix with hands until well blend. Shape meat mix into 12 patties.

Cook shoestring potatoes according to directions on package. Add 2 tablespoons olive oil to pan and as many meat patties that will fit. Cover. Sauté meat patties at medium-high heat for 5 minutes on each side or until meat is cooked to your desired level of doneness. You might need to cook the patties in batches. Top patties with Worcestershire sauce. Warm or lightly toast buns. Add patties to bun bottoms. Top patties with shoestring potatoes. Place bun tops on shoestring potatoes.

TIDBITS

1) The most common geometric shapes drawn by the cavemen was the triangle. So, it’s no surprise cavemen engineers chiseled stone into triangular wheels. This shape proved to be quite useless for transportation. The PorscheTM line of high performance cars would have to wait. But then the Cubanhamburgerpithicus tribe invented the Cuban hamburger. Little prehistoric diners thrilled hunter-gatherers with this avant-garde culinary creation. Soon, an engineer, Ogg Edsel Yugo, had himself a Cuban hamburger. It was tasty. It was round. It inspired him to make a wheel, to make a car. Edsel Yugo’s car flopped. Humanity would wait several millennia for Porsches. Bummer.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bajan Baked Chicken From Barbados

Barbadian Entree

BAJAN BAKED CHICKEN

INGREDIENTSbajanbakedchicken

½ teaspoon allspice
2 tablespoons softened butter
3 garlic cloves
½ teaspoon ground cloves
4 stalks green onions
¼ cup lime juice
½ teaspoon marjoram
1 large onion
½ teaspoon parsley
2 tablespoons peanut oil
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 red bell pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
1 Scotch bonnet or jalapeno pepper
1 teaspoon thyme
½ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
2 pounds boneless chicken breasts or thighs

SPECIAL UTENSILS

9″ x 13″ casserole dish
blender or food processor

Serves 4. Takes 5 hours.

PREPARATION

Add all ingredients to blender except chicken and cilantro. Blend on medium speed or until ingredients form a paste. Place paste and chicken pieces in large mixing bowl. Turn chicken pieces around until they are thoroughly coated with paste. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 4 hours. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Bake for 20-to-40 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink inside. Baste every 20 minutes.

TIDBITS

1) Even roosters like my recipes. To impress hot hens, they dance around, repeatedly drop and pick up tidbits of food, and make food calls. This ritual is called “tidbitting” after the Tidbit section of my recipes. Wow, I’m honored.

2) Sultry biddies prefer males who tidbit often. They also go squooshy for roosters with brighter, large combs atop their heads. Size matters, even in the poultry world.

Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Steak Diane

American Entree

STEAK DIANE

INGREDIENTSSteakDiane-

1½ pounds beef tenderloin, rib eye, or flank
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ cup butter
2 shallots
¼ cup cognac or brandy
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
½ teaspoon lemon juice
2 teaspoons parsley

Makes 6 plates. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Slice tenderloin into 36 strips. Rub pepper and salt into tenderloin. Let sit for 10 minutes. Add butter to pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Stir frequently. Add as many tenderloin strips to pan as will fit in a single layer. Sear tenderloin using high heat for about 1 minute until strips are completely brown on bottom. Flip slices over and sear other side. Remove tenderloin from pan and set aside. Remove and set aside melted butter.

Mince shallots. Add shallot, cognac, and Worcestershire sauce to second pan. Sauté at medium heat for 2-to-3 minutes or until liquid has been reduced by half. Stir frequently. Add lemon juice, parsley, and melted butter from first pan. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 3 minutes or until sauce thickens. Stir occasionally. Add tenderloin strips to plates. Ladle sauce over tenderloin slices. Guests who ooh and aah the loudest get the most strips.

TIDBITS

1) Steak Diane is often prepared at restaurants by lighting the alcohol in it. The flames burn off the alcoholic content while preserving the taste. Diners ooh and aah over the pyrotechnics.

2) The waiters who prepare this dish for you at your table are highly trained. Except, of course, for the ones without eyebrows. They are new.

3) Restaurants also have overhead sprinkles and fire extinguishers handy. Most homes do not. This is why this recipe is prepared without flames. Too dangerous.

4) Unless you are faced with a ravenous, blood-thirsty intruder. In that case, invite him to the kitchen for steak Diane. Use a liberal amount of cognac. Encourage the thug to take in the wonderful aroma of the steak strips. Then, pow, set the entree and the brute on fire with a propane torch. The thief will flee and you’ll have a nice, impromptu feast. Invite your friends over. Share your adventure and your culinary creation with them. Life is good.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Welsh Rarebit

British Entree

WELSH RAREBIT

INGREDIENTSWelshRarebit-

6 slices bread
1 tomato
3 tablespoons butter
2½ cups shredded Caerphilly or cheddar cheese
2 tablespoons flour
½ teaspoon mustard
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
½ cup or 8 ounces beer*

* = You probably opened a 12-ounce bottle of better to get this. This will leave 4 ounces of beer for yourself. Okay, it’s not the greatest perk in the world, but it’s a start.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

baking sheet

Takes about 15 minutes, not including the time to preheat your oven.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Toast bread. Cut tomato into 6 slices. Add butter and cheese to pan. Cook using low heat for 10 minutes or until all is melted. Stir frequently. Add flour, mustard, pepper, salt, and Worcestershire sauce. Mix with whisk until smooth. Simmer on low heat for 3 minutes or until mixture bubbles. Stir constantly. Add beer. Bring sauce to boil, stirring constantly. Remove sauce from heat.

Top each bread slice with a tomato slice. Ladle sauce equally over bread. Place sauce covered bread in oven. Broil at 500 degrees for 2 minutes or until sauce becomes brown. Serve right away to your hungry horde.

TIDBITS

1) The Mongol horde conquered much of Asia and Europe in the 13th century. Numbering in the thousands and thousands they probably would have eaten many more Welsh rarebits than your hungry horde mentioned above.

2) Many culinary historians think the Mongols would not have been so driven to conquer, loot, massacre, and enslave if their cuisine had been as tasty as this dish. Bummer.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lamb Burger

New Zealander Entree

LAMB BURGER

INGREDIENTSLambBurger-

1 small onion
1 Roma tomato
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 pound ground lamb
½ teaspoon lemon zest
½ teaspoon marjoram
1½ tablespoons mayonnaise
1 teaspoon mint, crushed
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 avocado
4 hamburger buns
4 lettuce leaves
4 slices beetroot (Optional? Depends on whom you ask.)

PREPARATION

Cut onion and tomato into thin slices. Add onion and olive oil to skillet. Sauté for 5 minutes on medium-high heat or until onion softens. Add lamb, lemon zest, marjoram, mayonnaise, mint, pepper, rosemary, and Worcestershire sauce to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands.

Make four patties. Fry patties at medium-high heat with lid on for about 6 minutes or until the insides of the patties are done to the desired level of pinkness or brownness. Flip patties once.

While patties are cooking, cut tomato into ⅛” thick slices. Peel avocado and remove pit. Cut avocado into four slices lengthwise. Toast hamburger buns. Put a patty on bottom bun. Put tomato and sautéed onion slices and 1 lettuce leaf on each patty. Top with beetroot slice, if desired. Add top bun. Combine the bottom and top parts of the burger. Repeat for the next 3 burgers.

TIDBITS

1) Sheep is an anagram for . . . sheep. Lamb is an anagram for balm. Lambs do not use lip balm. They do not have opposable thumbs, so they can’t hold the tubes of lip balm.

2) Sheep can be shorn for their wool. Wool makes nice clothes and blankets for people to use. People get haircuts. However, sheep do not wear wigs made from human hair, not even if they wonder what it would be like to be a redhead.

3) Law enforcement can track you with your cell phone’s GPS. Smart sheep can do the same, so Mary’s little lamb doesn’t need to follow Mary anymore. This is why you don’t hear the nursery rhyme anymore.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Caesar’s Salad

Mexican Entree

CAESAR’S SALAD

INGREDIENTSCaesarsSalad-

1 head romaine lettuce
4 bread slices
2 garlic cloves
1/4 cup olive oil (1 tablespoon more later)
2 ounces anchovies, cut in half (optional)

1 egg
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons lemon juice
½ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar

1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

PREPARATION

Separate romaine lettuce into leaves. Tear leaves into 1″ squares. Remove crusts from bread slices. Cut bread into ½” cubes. Cut one garlic clove into four pieces and rub them along the salad bowl. Discard. (Oh no, no, discard the garlic pieces, not the salad bowl. Goodness, careful sentence structure matters.)

Add the other garlic clove and 1/4 cup olive oil to pan. Sauté at low-medium heat for 5 minutes or 300 seconds. Discard garlic clove. (It’s a bad day to be garlic.) Add bread cubes to pan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until bread cubes are crisp on all sides. Stir frequently. Remove crisp bread crumbs or croutons and place them on paper towels to drain.

Add romaine squares and croutons to salad bowl. (Add optional anchovies here.)

Add egg, Dijon mustard, pepper, salt, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, olive oil, and red wine vinegar to blender. Use mix or middle setting to blend ingredients for 30 seconds. Pour this dressing into salad bowl. Lightly toss salad. Sprinkle salad with Parmesan cheese.

Note, pregnant women and small children should not eat raw eggs.

TIDBITS

1) Anchovies are a happening item. Italian prostitutes of the 18th century used anchovies when making their famous “spaghetti alla puttanesca” for their customers.

2) The Romans used anchovy entrails to make an aphrodisiac, to reduce ulcers, to cure dysentery, or to season their food.

3) So if you were a Roman woman and a man had you over for dinner and he served anchovy sauce, you might want to wonder about him.

4) On the other hand, we could dramatically cut the cost of health care by requiring all pizzas to come with anchovies. We wouldn’t need hospital or medical insurance, just a large anchovy with extra cheese.

5) And the aphrodisiacal–whoa spell check is okay with that–qualities of anchovy pizzas would mean we wouldn’t have to see those ViagraTM ads on T.V. anymore.

6) But PlayboyTM would sport ads about anchovies all the time.

7) The entire economy would be directed to processing anchovies.

8) Military spending would fall to zero.

9) Our anchovy-driven sexual frenzies would leave us wide open to conquest by our enemies.

10) But anchovies also contain a toxin called domoic acid whichcan drive a seagull insane if ingested in too large a quantity.

11) Which is why the United States Army has warehouses full of anchovies. Within 15 minutes of an enemy invasion, the roofs of all these warehouses retract to reveal millions of vats just brimming with anchovies.

12) America’s heroic seagulls would then gorge themselves on their favorite food, became crazy and attack the invaders, just like in Alfred Hitchcock’s, The Birds.

13) America cannot be conquered.

14) But then any country with sufficient anchovies and pelican couldn’t be conquered.

15) Countries would have an incentive to stockpile these items.

16) I fear an anchovy-and-pelican race between nations.

17) But if worse comes to worse, we will blast the Barney-the-Dinosaur song at our enemies until they cry uncle.

18) Let us banish this frightening scenario by sipping on a wonderful, ice cold root beer. Ah, life is good again.

19) Caesar’s salad, anyone?

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Tex Mex T Rex

Cretaceous Entree

TEX MEX T REX

INGREDIENTSTRex-

1 medium tyrannosaurus rex
300 garlic cloves
1,500 medium yellow onions
2,999 jars (18 ounces) barbecue sauce
1 15 ounce bottle organic ketchup
200 pounds chili powder
100 pounds cumin
25 pounds thyme
1/4 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
40 gallons lemon juice
120 gallons Worcestershire sauce
12,000 hamburger buns

Note: Getting the amounts exact is critical. If your sums are off you just have to recount.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

1 time machine
1 sonic obliterator (not sold in Oregon as of publication)
1 culinary chainsaw (I recommend the Bushnell 303TM model)
1,500 crock pots
1 multi-story mixing bowl
1 24,000-hole toaster
1 deluxe surge protector

PREPARATION

Set time machine to Wednesday, June 3rd, 3 p.m., 65,403,002 B.C.. (For goodness sake, don’t push things and try to get yourself a T-Rex minutes before that giant meteorite slams into the Earth killing nearly everything. If you die in this cataclysm and don’t come back, your guests will never talk to you. You don’t need this social awkwardness.)

But it does remind me, to make Tex Mex T Rex you really need to kill a T Rex. For this job, you’ll want to get a premium sonic obliterator. One with a T-Rex rating. Don’t expect to waltz into a WalMartTM and buy the first sonic obliterator you see. You’ll be sorry. Indeed, you’ll be dead when the feeble sonic vibration from your off-the-shelves obliterator merely angers the T Rex into charging you. Always, always buy quality kitchen utensils.

Do not forget to kill the T-Rex. Be sure to slice up the T Rex into the various cuts of meat at the site and the time of the killing. This takes a long time and culinary chainsaws are noisy. You don’t want to annoy your current time, human neighbors. But in the Cretaceous period the chainsaw noise will scare off all those pesky predators who’d want to eat you. Take all your T-Rex cuts back with you. Don’t drop any. No one likes a litterbug.

Mince garlic cloves and onions. This should take no time at all as you have a time machine. Put T-Rex bits in crock pots. Add garlic, onion, barbecue sauce, organic ketchup, chili powder, cumin, salt, thyme, lemon juice, and Worcestershire sauce.

Set crock pots to high and cover them. Cook for 6 hours or until meat is tender. Remove T-Rex meat. Shred meat and return meat to crock pots for 30 minutes. Toast buns. Serve meat on buns. Note, this is a big meal. May I suggest serving it picnic style with plastic utensils and cardboard plates?

TIDBITS

1) Until the invention of the time machine, Cretaceous cuisine was impossible,

2) We have, of course, always had Cretan cuisine. However, food from the island of Crete is usually considered to be indistinguishable from the rest of Greek cuisine.

3) However, things would change dramatically if a Cretan restaurateur were to successfully transport T-Rex meat back to the current time. Crowds would certainly flock to Kronos’ Cretan Cretaceous Crudités.

4) This development would certainly provide a challenge to the Tex Mex T Rex cuisine of southwest Texas.

5) As of press time, 43% of all Tex Mex T Rex sandwiches are served in El Paso, Texas.

6) There are lots of non-culinary things to do in El Paso, Texas.

7) Be sure to take in the town’s T-Rex processing plant. Tours cost $20 person if you book now. However, the cost conscious can always go back in time, deposit a dollar in the bank, and gather enough interest to pay for the tour.

8) For an alternative experience, go to Hueco Tanks State Park and scale its huge boulders.

9) Those in your group who survive this experience will want to take in the Museum of Art and see American and Mexican colonial art.

10) Stargazing is quite popular here, especially at night.

11) So is sleeping.

12) Pleasant dreams.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Juicy Lucy (stuffed cheeseburger)

American Entree

JUICY LUCY
(stuffed cheeseburger)

INGREDIENTSJuicyLucy-

1 onion
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
3 garlic cloves
1 ½ pounds lean ground beef
4 slices American cheese (other cheeses will seep out the sides of the patty)
1/4 teaspoon ground mustard
½ teaspoon ground four peppercorn blend (or pepper)
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 ½ teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
4 lettuce leaves
4 hamburger buns

PREPARATION

Cut onion into ½” slices. Add oil and onion slices to pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 2 ½ minutes for each side or until onion softens. Mince garlic. Add garlic, beef, ground mustard, peppercorn blend, salt, and Worcestershire sauce to mixing bowl. Mix with hands. Divide meat into 8 round balls. Flatten them until they are 1/4″ thick. Fold a slice of American cheese in half, then fold in half the other way. Press folded cheese into the center of a patty. Top with second patty. Pinch sides of patties to seal in the cheese. (This really needs to be a tight seal. Don’t make the patties too thick or the cheese might not melt.) Repeat for 3 more patties

Add tightly sealed patties to frying pan. Fry patties on medium-high heat for 5 minutes. Flip patties. It is essential at this point to prick the patties several times to let steam from the cheese to escape. (If you do not, you risk the heated cheese forcing its way out of the patties.) Fry for another 5 minutes or until meat is browned to your liking. (Cheese becomes more molten with longer cooking. This is also a matter of preference.) Put patties on buns and top with grilled onion slices and lettuce and upper bun. Wait 1 minute before eating as the cheese inside can be like lava.

TIDBITS

1) There is a fierce partisan debate about which Minneapolis eatery first served this wondrous entree. Many claim Matt’s Bar invented it, while others maintain it was first served at the 5-8 Club (5-8 = – 3) where it is known as the Jucy Lucy.

2). Matt Dillon was the marshal of Dodge City during the Old West. He liked to eat beef. He probably would have loved a Juicy Lucy. Although, he’d have to use a time machine to eat a modern day Juicy Lucy. As a peacekeeper, he’d probably never say which place he preferred, Matt’s Bar or the 5-8 club. But if he did, who would dare to gainsay the quick drawing marshal of Minneapolis?

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Bean and Bacon Soup

American Soup

BEAN AND BACON SOUP

INGREDIENTSBean&BaconSoup-

1 pound dry navy beans (4 cups)
4 cups water
1 pound bacon
1 medium carrot
1 celery stalk
1 yellow onion
1 garlic clove
1 pound tomatoes
1 bay leaf
½ teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon thyme
3 cups chicken broth
1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

Makes 6 bowls.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Put navy beans and water in large pot. Bring to boil on high heat. Turn off heat, cover, and let beans stand in hot water for 1 hour.

Get busy while beans are standing. Cook, fry bacon on medium-high heat in Dutch oven until crispy. (Contemplate image of beans standing at attention.) Remove bacon and put on paper towels. Remove all but ¼ cup grease from Dutch oven. When cool, crumble bacon or cut it into ½” squares.

Dice carrot,  celery, onion, and garlic clove. Puree tomatoes. Sauté carrot, onion and garlic at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Add bay leaf, celery, tomato puree, paprika, salt, thyme, chicken broth, and Worcestershire sauce to Dutch oven. Drain beans. Add beans to Dutch oven. Bring to boil on high heat. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 2 hours or until beans are tender. Ladle soup into bowls and sprinkle with bacon.

TIDBITS

1) According to culinary lore, Lord Sandys once asked two chemists from Worcestershire to recreate an Indian sauce. Why Lord Sandys didn’t ask two cooks instead is a mystery. Anyway, the two great men’s effort resulted in a particularly malodorous liquid; it might have stunk worse than lutefisk. The chemists moved the stinky sauce to the basement. Why didn’t they just throw it out? Years later, they tasted it again. These men truly did not fear death. But it tasted great.

2) Okay.

3) Worcestershire sauce is made from fermented fish. Fish contains glutamates. Glutamates improve your mood.

4) Beer is made from fermented grain. Fermented grain improves your mood.

5) There are lot more establishments selling beer than ones offering fermented fish.

6) Or even lutefisk.

7) Oh my gosh, further research suggests that tidbit 1) is actually true and that L&P still make their sauce that way. I guess fermenting fish is pretty much like aging wine. Who knew?

8) In 1919, Worcestershire sauce was advertised as a way to grow beautiful hair.

9) I would think rubbing Worcestershire sauce on your head would make you smell like steak. Dogs would love you.

10) A famous photo from 1938, shows dictator Benito Mussolini and Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain alongside one of Lea & Perrin’s bottles.

11) It’s quite unlikely Mussolini rubbed the steak sauce on his head. The despot was entirely bald.

12) For Worcestershire sauce rubbed onto a man with a full head of hair isn’t visible. Oh sure, you can smell it, but you’re never quite sure if you’ve pinpointed the location to the right person.

13) On the other hand, Worcestershire sauce, or any other brown sauce for that matter, would have been quite evident on Mussolini’s bald dome.

14) One can imagine the rulers of Ethiopia and Albania pointing at the Italian dictator’s sauce-smeared head and laughing.

15) Mussolini would have wanted revenge for these insults. As a dictator, he could get it too. So, Benito had his armies conquer these countries.

16) Hitler saw how easy these conquests were and in 1939 invaded Poland. Great Britain and France declared war in response. And so, World War II began.

17) This is a cautionary tale. Always use good manners. Never make fun of people. The welfare of the world is at stake.

– Chef Paul

Please check out Paul De Lancey’s books on Amazon.com.4novels

or visit his website www.lordsoffun.com for signed copies.

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Meat Pie

Australian Entree

MEAT PIE

INGREDIENTS – FILLINGMeatPie-

2 pounds chuck or round steak
2 onions
2 tablespoons olive oil
½ teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt (1/4 teaspoon more later)
1/4 teaspoon thyme
4 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 cups beef stock
1/4 cup water
3 tablespoons flour (2 cups more later)

INGREDIENTS – BOTTOM PASTRY

2 cups flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons butter (softened)
10 tablespoons water

INGREDIENTS – PIE

1½ tablespoon milk
4 sheets puff pastry
1 egg
4 tablespoons ketchup

SPECIAL UTENSILS

Dutch oven
4 meat-pie pans (5″ diameter is best)

PREPARATION – FILLING

Cut chuck into ½” cubes. Mince onions. Add onion and olive oil to Dutch oven. Sauté onion on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Add meat, nutmeg, pepper, salt, thyme, Worcestershire sauce, and beef stock. Simmer on low heat for about 1 hour. Stir occasionally.

Combine ¼ cup water and 3 tablespoons flour in mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until you get a smooth, runny mix. Gradually add the flour/water mix into the Dutch oven. Stir with spoon until the filling thickens. Remove from heat and let cool.

PREPARATION – BOTTOM PASTRY

While filling is simmering, add 2 cups flour,  1/4 teaspoon salt, and butter to a second mixing bowl. Blend ingredients with whisk. Add 10 tablespoons water. Remove dough and knead on surface dusted with flour.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Let dough sit for 20 minutes. Flatten dough with rolling pin. (A large can of soup will do. A stick of dynamite is way too risky.)

PREPARATION – PIE

Line pie pans with bottom pastry. Add filling to each pan. Moisten rims of pies with milk. (This helps to tops stick with the bottom pastry.) Place a sheet of puff pastry on top of each pie. Trim away the excess puff pastry. Press edges of puff pastry onto rims of bottom pastry with fork. Beat egg with whisk or fork. Glaze tops evenly with egg.

Put pies in over. Bake at 400 degrees for 15-to-20 minutes or until golden brown. Spread ketchup over each pie. Have a nice cooling refreshment and enjoy. Press gang the least appreciative guest into cleaning up.

TIDBITS

1) Kangaroo is Australian Aborginee for, “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

2) Melbourne, Australia has the largest public tram system in the world.

3) Australia is three times bigger than Greenland. So it’s no surprise that Melbourne has a bigger tram system than Nuuk, Greenland.

5) Curly Howard of the Three Stooges said “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk” in many of his movie shorts.

6) The Denver Broncos quarterback, Peyton Manning, often yelled out “Omaha” during plays all through the 2013 NFL season. Some people think he was promoting the city of Omaha, Nebraska.

7) Was Curly really trying to promote Nuuk, Greenland?

8) That would be truly scary for Nuuk was called Godthaab until 1979 and Curly died in 1952.

9) Perhaps Curly had a time machine and visited modern Nuuk.

10) We should all be grateful Curly did not use his time machine to achieve world domination.

11) If you had a time machine you could go back to the point when you had just cooked yourself a wonderful dinner and eat it. You would never have to cook again. You’d just keep going back to that moment and eat that delightful dish over and over again.

12) But then no one would ever need to buy food again. Millions of farmers would be out of business. They’d riot. Worldwide collapse would ensue. To this, Curly would say, “Nyahh-ahhh-ahhh!”

– Chef Paul

3novels

Please check out Paul De Lancey’s books on Amazon.com.

or visit his website www.lordsoffun.com for signed copies.

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