Posts Tagged With: Declaration of Independence

Shrimp Po’ Boys

Cajun Entree

SHRIMP PO’ BOYS

INGREDIENTS – REMOULADE

1 tablespoon capers
1½ tablespoons flat-leaf parsley or parsley
1 garlic clove
2 tablespoons Creole mustard or French coarse-grained mustard.
2 tablespoons lemon juice
¾ cup mayonnaise
½ tablespoon paprika (½ teaspoon more later)
¼ teaspoon pepper (¼ teaspoon more later)
¾ teaspoon TabascoTM or CrystalTM hot sauce

INGREDIENTS – SHRIMP

1 pound medium shrimp, peeled and deveined.
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
¼ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon paprika
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1 egg
¾ cup cornmeal
⅓ cup peanut oil or oil

INGREDIENTS – FINAL

⅓ head lettuce, iceberg or romaine
1 tomato
4 French rolls or 4 quarters of a baguette

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric skillet

Serves 4. Takes 50 minutes

PREPARATION – REMOULADE

Dice capers, flat-leaf parsley, and garlic clove. Add all remoulade ingredients to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Chill in refrigerator.

PREPARATION – SHRIMP

Add shrimp, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, paprika, pepper, and salt to 1st small mixing bowl. Toss shrimp until well coated. Add egg to 2nd small bowl. Beat egg with whisk or fork. Add shrimp to beaten egg. Toss shrimp until well coated. Add cornflour to 3rd small bowl. Add egg-coated shrimp to cornflour. Dredge shrimp through cornflour until well coated.

Add oil to electric skillet. Heat oil to 350 degrees. Add coated shrimp to skillet. (Do not let shrimp touch. You might have to cook in batches.) Fry at 350 for 3 minutes or until dredged shrimp turn golden brown. Carefully flip shrimp once. Remove and drain on plate covered with paper towels.

PREPARATION – FINAL

Shred lettuce. Cut tomato into 8 slices. Slice rolls almost all the way through, leaving enough for a hinge. Spread remoulade over all roll tops and bottoms. Sprinkle shredded lettuce equally over all roll bottoms. Arrange shrimp equally over all roll bottoms. Top the shrimp on each sandwich with 2 tomato slices. Close rolls. Serve hot.

TIDBITS

1) The famed Edgar Allan Poe was born on January 19, 1809. A lesser known Edgar Allan Poe (LKEAP) was born on March 30, 1833. Interesting enough, 33 totally unimportant Edgar Allan Poe have been on February 29. Of course, that has statistical clustering written all over it.

2) Our Edgar Allan Poe (OEAP) was never totally adopted and had a constant need for income due to gambling losses. Never draw to an inside straight, never. Indeed, you need to know when to fold and to know when to walk away. Unfortunately, Kenny Rogers hadn’t written his great song, “The Gambler,” by 1822., so OEAP was bereft of this potentially life-improving advice.

3) The indebted Poe turned to writing menus. They were pure literary magic. As Thomas Jefferson penned, “Edgar Allan Poe’s descriptions of the tempting dishes to be had by the discerning dinner are pure culinary genius. Undoubtedly, if he’d been around in 1776, he’d have been invited to write the Declaration of Independence.”

4) Inspired by his success, Poe turned to writing novels. We now hold his first effort, The Elephant’s Tusks to be the greatest novel of all time. Unfortunately, the letter “e” on his typewriter was broken and the published text of lphant’s Tusks was absolutely unreadable.

5) Distraught, Poe turned to drugs for solace. (Hey, I spelled that word correctly on the first try!) His drug habit drove him deeper into debt.

6) Poe’s life had to pick up, and in a hurry, as I am running out of space on this page. Poe went back to menus. His typewriter still had occasional trouble with the letter “e.” Then brilliance struck his brow like a tiny meteorite made of kitty fur; why not substitute an apostrophe for “e?.” His creation the Shrimp Poe Boy could now be written up as the Shrimp Po’ Boy. Elated, Poe felt confident enough to write a short book chock full of wrote a short book entitled, “Simple and Tasty Treats to Eat After Taking Heroin.” This wildly successful work provided him with the financial success he’d always craved. Poe would become a literary giants. Menus, however, would once again be boring. They still are. It’s a tradeoff.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Cuban Moros y Cristianos

Cuban Entree

MOROS Y CRISTIANOS
(beans and rice)

INGREDIENTSMorosYchristianos-

12 ounces dry black beans
2½ cups long white rice
5 cups chicken stock
1 green bell pepper
3 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
2½ tablespoons olive oil
1 bay leaf
½ teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
1½ tablespoon white vinegar
1 tablespoon tomato paste

SPECIAL ITEM

Dutch oven

Makes 6 bowls. Takes 2½ hours.

PREPARATION

Add beans to pot. Add enough water to cover beans with 1″ of water. Bring to boil using high heat. Let boil for 20 minutes. Stir occasionally. Remove, cover, and let stand for 1 hour. Drain and rinse beans. Again add water until beans are covered by 1″ of water. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1 hour or until beans are tender. Drain.

While beans simmer, add rice and chicken stock to pot or rice cooker. Cook rice according to instructions on package.

While beans still soak and rice cooks, seed bell pepper. Dice bell pepper, garlic cloves, and onion. Add bell pepper, garlic, onion, and olive oil to Dutch oven. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add black beans from pot, bay leaf, cumin, oregano, pepper, salt, vinegar, and tomato paste. Cook on medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add rice with chicken stock to Dutch oven. Stir and serve with sofrito.

TIDBITS

1) The Declaration of Independence of 1776 voiced America’s most cherished ideals in such a forceful and plain manner as to compel the assent of the world’s powers to America’s right to nationhood.

2) It was also a practical document listing all the things King George III of Britain did to annoy, vex, and hamper the commerce of The Thirteen Colonies.

3) One action that stands in my mind is how George and his ministers hampered the New England fishing fleets. The seamen clamored for the removal of these restrictions. It didn’t happen.

4) It became clearer and clearer that the only way for the fishermen to get a sympathetic National Fisheries Department was to create a new nation.

5) In 1773, the British sent regiment after regiment of infantry to Boston to suppress Boston’s surly and increasingly unruly fishermen. The redcoats stormed one bay-side warehouse after another carrying off cannon, muskets, and weapon-grade fish hooks. Surely, Boston was ripe for revolution.

6) But nothing happened. Boston baked beans had made the culinary scene. All the inns and taverns from New Hampshire to New Jersey served this new entree. It was so good. It is still so good. Diners became contented, contented enough to put revolutions and reality shows on hold.

7) In 1775, however, King George and his council made a truly egregious blunder. They omitted all types of carrots from the list of foodstuffs that could be grown in the colonies. From that moment on, carrots could only be imported from England on English ships.

8) These “carroty omissions,” an anagram for “Moros y Cristianos,” devastated the carrot farmers of New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Virginia, and Georgia. Passions ran high. Royal carrot enforcers were hung in effigy; their homes stormed and ransacked.

9) New England’s merchant fleet stayed in port. With no carrots to ship from the south to ship to carrot-starved Boston, there was no reason for them to venture out. Unemployment soared in all Thirteen Colonies.

10) Unemployed people tend to do two things, congregate at skateboard parks and foment revolution against the mother country. There were no skateboard parks in 1775. Revolution loomed.

11) On February 7, 1775, Samuel Magpie got up before the Pennsylvanian legislature to thunder, “Give me carrot cake or I’ll hold my breath until I turn blue.” Only a few people noticed. However, Patrick Henry was one of them.

12) Patrick Henry was an omnivore, a person or animal eating both fish and carrots. He knew the spark needed to inflame people’s hearts needed to be broader.

13) So on March 23, 1775 he addressed the Virginia Convention, “Give me liberty of give me death.” This was sheer brilliance. He had stood up for the rights of farmers to grow carrots and fishers to fish, while simultaneously creating a metaphor for ending political oppression. The fired-up conventioneers voted for a national convention. The Declaration of Independence would be signed a scant year later. Seven years more, America would become a new nation.

14) The great world powers took this lesson to heart.. Ever since then, no nation has dared to enact anti-carrot legislation. Carrot salad, anyone?

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Peanut Butter

American Appetizer

PEANUT BUTTER

INGREDIENTSPeanutButter-

4 cups roasted peanuts (1 cup then 3 cups)*
2 tablespoons peanut oil (½ tablespoon at a time)
½ tablespoon honey
¾ teaspoon salt
⅛ teaspoon sugar

* = 4 cups peanuts weigh about 1 pound. Purchase peanuts with the skins still on for added flavor and fiber. Buy skinned peanuts if you prefer a smoother peanut butter. And, oh gosh, buy shelled roasted peanuts. It takes forever to shell enough peanuts to make this recipe; just as long as a lecture in theoretical economics lasts..

SPECIAL UTENSILS

blender
mason jar

Makes 1½ cups. Takes 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add 1 cup peanuts in blender. Blend on lowest for about a minute or until the peanut bits are the size you desire. (People’s preference for the chunkiness of their peanut butter and the power of their blender vary considerably, so you’ll need to keep a close eye on the blending.) Remove and set aside.

Add remaining 3 cups peanuts, ½ tablespoon oil, and honey to blender. Set blender to lowest setting that works. (A weak blender will just make plaintive whirring noises and do nothing if it’s on too low a setting. Gradually decrease the speed of the blender to low as it becomes more and more to blend. (I think I can. I think I can. ) Blend on low setting until mixture becomes quite smooth. (The oil should be coming out of the peanuts.) If mixture is too dry to spread, add another ½ tablespoon oil and puree again. Repeat as needed with oil until mixture is easy to spread. Add salt and sugar. Fold in salt and sugar with wooden spoon.

Store in refrigerator. It should be good for 2 weeks to 2 months, depending on the seal of the jar used for storage. I prefer mason jars. Oil might rise to the top over time. Simply mix the oil back into the peanut butter with a wooden spoon.

TIDBITS

1) Each American eats seven pounds of peanut butter a year. It’s a federal law dating back to the drafting of the Constitution. Georgia simply would not sign the great document unless its mighty peanut industry was protected. After much negotiation, the states agreed on seven pounds per person per annum. Georgia signed and America had a basis for strong government

2) Some people spread out their required peanut-butter consumption evenly over the entire year. This comes out to .3068 ounces per day. To achieve such precision, people need sophisticated scales. This need explains why American kitchen scales are the envy of the world. Indeed, NASA uses these scales in its space programs.

3) Other people eat all their peanut butter in one day. Pause and reflect.

4) Americans could fill the Grand Canyon with all the peanut butter that eat in one year. This actually happened on April 1, 2000. It was a glorious occasion with millions of loaves of bread being flown and trucked in. Thousands and thousands of trucks that normally hauled crude oil were converted to dispense grape and strawberry jelly. And the toasters! Oh, they were everywhere. People said nice things to each other except, of course, for those with peanut butter stuck to the roof of their mouths.

5) Unfortunately, this happening could not become an annual event. Many tourists, especially those from countries with low peanut-butter consumption, insisted of seeing the Grand Canyon in its peanut-butter free glory.

6) We also cannot forget the frenzied riot that took place between the smooth-peanut-butter fanatics and the chunky-peanut-fanatics. Culinary historians still shake their heads when they contemplate how close America came to civil war. It certainly affected the presidential election.

7) Speaking of presidents, Thomas Jefferson and Jimmy Carter grew peanuts. Mr. Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence. Two peanuts growers, one Independence writer. We can conclude from this that every other peanut grower in America would write a Declaration of Independence.

8) Or can we conclude this? Thomas Jefferson declared independence from Great Britain. Jimmy Carter couldn’t do the same; we had already severed connections from the mother country.

9) So, who could have Mr. Carter declared independence from?

10) From America. Jimmy Carter could have penned a declaration of independence for Georgia from the United States. He didn’t, of course, but it was a near run thing.

11) In 1980, American lawmakers mindful of the horrifying carnage of the War Between the States in 1861-1865, passed a law requiring all peanut farmers to sign an annual pledge not to make their state secede from the Union.

12) Or at least to grow onions as well. No onion farmer has ever written anything advocating independence. Onion farmers are a rather down to earth sort of folks. Thank goodness.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperpack
or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Peanut Butter Chip Cookies

American Dessert

PEANUT BUTTER CHIP COOKIES

INGREDIENTSPeanutButterChip-

3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
½ cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
10 ounces peanut butter chips
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric beater
1-to-4 cookie sheets (You might have to bake in batches.)

makes about 36 cookies

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Take butter out of the refrigerator and let it soften. Use whisk to blend flour, baking powder, and baking soda in large mixing bowl. Place butter, sugar, brown sugar, egg, vanilla extract, and peanut butter chips in second mixing bowl. Mix with electric beater set on cookies or medium high. Gradually add in the flour mixture from the first bowl. Blend thoroughly with electric beater set on whip or high. Fold in peanut butter chips. Mix with hands.

Roll dough into little balls about 1″ wide. Spray cookie sheets with no-stick spray. Leave a 2″ gap between peanut butter/dough balls. Bake at 375 degrees for 8 to 12 minutes or until golden brown. Let cookies cool for 2 minutes before transferring with a spatula to wire rack or cold plate. Cool for an additional 5-to-20 minutes or as long as you can stand waiting.

TIDBITS

1) The ancient Incas used peanuts in their religious ceremonies. The Incas built a mighty empire. Thomas Jefferson raised peanuts. He went onto write America’s Declaration of Independence. As president he doubled America’s size with the Louisiana Purchase. America is still the only country to send a peanut to the moon.

2) Peanut is awesome! Get your cat or dog to take its medicine by covering it with peanut butter. P.b. is the best bait for mousetraps. Put peanut butter in the pan after frying fish. The fishy smell will go away. This amazing food cleans your furniture and gives your house a nice peanut-buttery aroma. Use peanut butter when your shaving; it’s good for your skin.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Beef Chili Cheese Fries

American Entree

BEEF CHILI CHEESE FRIES

INGREDIENTSBeefChiliCF-

1 yellow onion
5 cloves garlic
6 Roma tomatoes
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1 tablespoon chili powder
2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons oregano
2 cups beef broth
1 pound pre-cooked french fries (This is a great way to get rid of those french fries that come with all those hamburger meals.)
1 pound Four Mexican Cheeses (Yes, a pound)
1 1/2 cups sour cream
1 teaspoon parsley

PREPARATION

Mince onion and garlic. Dice tomatoes. Add onion, garlic, and oil to skillet. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onions soften. Stir frequently. Add beef, cayenne, chili powder, cumin, and oregano. Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes or until beef is no longer pink. Stir occasionally.

Add Roma tomato, dice tomato, beef broth, French fries, cheese, and sour cream to skillet. Cook on medium-high heat to 10 minutes. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Garnish with parsley and serve.

TIDBITS

1) The first known French fries were made in Belgium around 1680. Yay, Belgium. These first fries were a substitute for fried fish. Who knew?

2) Thomas Jefferson served French fries in the White House during his Presidency of 1801-1809. Oh, he also penned the Declaration of Independence and was responsible for the Louisiana Purchase in 1803. The many Louisianans who eat French fries of the Fourth of July are grateful.

3) The Rolling Stones sang about French fries in their 1964 song “Under the Boardwalk.” The Rolling Stones are British. Britain went to war with Germany in 1914 to preserve Belgian neutrality and Belgian French fries. Harsh words were said by all and the conflict went global. We are still living with the culinary consequences of the War To End All Wars.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Simple Loempias (Indonesian egg rolls)

Indonesian Entree

SIMPLE LOEMPIAS
(Indonesian egg rolls)

INGREDIENTSLoempias-

1 inch ginger root (or 1 tablespoon ginger powder)
2 chicken breasts
1 large carrot
1/2 pound white cabbage or cabbage
1/2 onion
1 8 ounce can bamboo shoots
2 tablespoons peanut oil (3-to-6 tablespoons later)
1/2 pound bean sprouts
1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 egg
24 egg-roll wraps
3-to-6 tablespoons peanut oil

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder
electric skillet

PREPARATION

Grind ginger root in powder with spice grinder. Dice chicken, carrot, cabbage, and onion. Add ginger. chicken, carrot, cabbage, onion, bamboo shoots, and 2 tablespoons peanut oil to pan. Sauté for 5 minutes on medium-high heat or until onions soften. Stir frequently.

Add bean sprouts, and soy sauce to pan. Cook for 5 minutes on medium heat or until chicken is done. Stir frequently. Remove from heat.

Scramble egg in small bowl. Place one corner of an egg roll wrap toward you. Put 2 tablespoons of the chicken/veggie mix about 1/3 of the way up from the bottom corner. Fold bottom corner up until it covers the mix. Fold sides in until they touch the mix. Roll up wrap from the bottom. Spread some of the scrambled egg under and on top of the flap of the egg-roll wrap.. (This keeps it from unraveling.)

Put 3 tablespoons peanut oil in electric skillet. Heat oil to 350 degrees. Be careful putting eggs rolls into hot oil. (It’s a good idea to wear an apron, long sleeves, and hold the skillet top in your other hand while doing this.) Fry for 5 minutes or until spring rolls turn golden brown. Turn occasionally to ensure even cooking. You will probably need to fry in patches. Add up to 3 tablespoons peanut oil as necessary.
TIDBITS

1) Cabbage is an essential ingredient in this recipe. Cabbage also has a rich history in literature and culture as can be seen by the following quotes.

“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”
– Mark Twain

3) “’Good worts! Good cabbage. Slender, I broke your head: what matter have you against me?’

– Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor

3) “Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.”
– Ambrose Bierce, A Devil’s Dictionary

4) “I want death to find me planting my cabbage”
Michel de Montaigne

5) “Idealist: One who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup”
– H. L. Mencken

6) “At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage”
– John Andrew Holmes

7) “Cabbaged” is the longest word that can be played on a musical instrument. It probably sounds awful.

8) Cabbage has been used by many for decades to ridicule America’s government. It goes like this:
Lord’s Prayer – 66 words
Ten Commandments – 297 words
Declaration of Independence – 1,335 words
Gettysburg Address – 271 words
Federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage – 26,911 words

Unfortunately  the bit about the federal directive isn’t true. There is no source for it. Sorry.

9) “ A good wife, rich cabbage soup, what more do you need?”
– Russian Proverb

10) “At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage”
– John Andrew Holmes

11) “Like warmed-up cabbage served at each repast, repetition kills the wretch at last.”
– Juvenal

11) “Cabbage, eww!”
– Little kids everywhere

cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Vanilla Cupcakes

American Dessert

VANILLA CUPCAKES

INGREDIENTSVanilCu-

CAKE

1/2 cup butter
1 cup white sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon orange zest
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/3 cup milk (2 tablespoons more later)

FROSTING

2 cups confectionary sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 tablespoons milk

SPECIAL UTENSILS

muffin tin with 12 holes
12 paper baking cups
electric mixer

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Assemble all ingredients. This will give the butter time to soften as it approaches room temperature. (Of course the butter really softens when you must go muttering to the store and back for a missing ingredient.)

Put softened butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla extract, and orange zest in mixing bowl. Use “blend” or “cookie mix” setting on mixer to combine these ingredients.

Add flour, baking powder, and milk to another bowl. Use “cake” setting on mixer. Add this mixture to the concoction in the first bowl, fire up the mixer again using the “cake” setting.

Put baking cups in holes in muffin tin. Pour the mixture into all baking cups. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes or until a fork poked into a cupcake comes out clean.

While cupcakes are baking, mix confectionary sugar, butter, and vanilla extract with blender.

Remove cupcakes from oven and put them in the refrigerator to cool off. After cooling, top cupcakes with frosting. Serve to adoring public.

Okay, okay, maybe you couldn’t wait for the cupcakes to cool down enough to be covered with frosting. Maybe they smelled so good you accidentally ate one. Why then, tell everyone this is your recipe for Eleven Vanilla Cupcakes.

TIDBITS

1) Thomas Jefferson brought vanilla to America. He also wrote the Declaration of Independence, and made the Louisiana Purchase.

2) Those worthy achievements took him a lifetime.

3) You can make these cupcakes in an hour.

4) You can also eliminate musty car odors by placing a vanilla bean under the driver’s seat.

5) It is said that some fishermen put vanilla extract on their hands so that fish won’t smell them.

6) Why they would think fish would be jumping out of the water to smell any passing human hand, I’ll never know.

7) A few hundred years ago, noblewomen used vanilla extract to smell nice.

8) Then came soap.

9) Now you can get soap with vanilla in it. It’s all part of the great circle of life.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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