Posts Tagged With: recipe

Eggah – Egyptian Omelette Recipe

Posted on March 31, 2013 by pauldelancey

Egyptian Breakfast

EGGAH
(Omelette)

INGREDIENTSEggah-

2 medium onions
1 tomato
1/2 red bell pepper
10 eggs
3/4 teaspoon coriander
3/4 teaspoon cumin
2 teaspoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
3 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour

PREPARATION

Mince onions. Dice bell pepper and tomato. Mix eggs, coriander, cumin, parsley, and sea salt in mixing bowl. (This is why a mixing bowl is called a mixing bowl. ☺)

Put butter and onion into skillet. Sauté at medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add flour. Mix thoroughly. Add eggs/spice mixture to skillet. Stir. Cook for about 5 minutes with lid on or until eggs turn golden brown on the bottom. Flip the omelette over and cook for about 3 minutes or until the new bottom side is golden brown as well. (Note, it’s okay to use a spatula to cut the omelette in half or into four pieces before flipping it over. If your guests complain about this, point toward your vast supply of sharp kitchen knives, kitchen scissors, and kitchen mallets.)

Serve hot to friends and family and cold to telemarketers.

TIDBITS

1) Egypt is home to the Suez Canal.

2) Dentists perform root canals.

3) In a movie, Marilyn Monroe so dislikes a man she says, “You, you dentist.”

4) Do mimes cry out during root-canal operations?

5) I much prefer root beer to undergoing a root canal.

6) Charlie Root pitched for the 1935 National League champion Chicago Cubs.

7) Shirley Temple was a child film star around that time. She has a non-alcoholic drink named after her.

8) My mother met Shirley Temple.

9) My mother later had me and now you have this recipe. ☺

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Hungarian Burger Wrap Recipe

Posted on March 27, 2013 by pauldelancey

Hungarian Entree

HUNGARIAN BURGER WRAP

INGREDIENTSHungaBW-

1 1/2 medium onions
1 garlic clove
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1/2 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon thyme
1/3 cup sour cream
1/4 cup beef broth
8 large lettuce leaves

PREPARATION

Mince onion and garlic. In mixing bowl, make hamburger patties with beef, onion, garlic, paprika, parsley, pepper, sea salt, and sour cream. Fry patties in pan on medium-high heat for about 10 minutes. Flip patties over about every 3 minutes. Pour half of the beef broth on the burger each time you flip the burgers. This moistens the patties. (No, no I’m still not ready to use the word . . . moisturize.)
TIDBITS

1) Why does this recipe use lettuce wraps instead of hamburger buns?

2) I didn’t have any hamburger buns. I was just at the store and didn’t want to go back again and the patties were already cooked when I discovered the buns’ absence.

3) It would have been nice if the local supermarket could have catapulted some buns to me.

4) But they don’t have that service and seem positively disinclined to start catapulting anything to customers.

5) Besides what would happen if the catapulted burgers accidentally landed on a diver at a high-school swim meet? It would throw off his dive, give him a bad score and maybe cause his high school to lose.

6) And what if the catapulted hamburger buns triggered the army’s automatic missile defense system? The army’s intercepting missile would hit the buns. The buns would explode. Bun bits would coat houses all over the neighborhood.

7) The army would also assume we were under attack by a vicious unseen enemy. Our armed forces would go to the highest level of readiness possible.

8) Other nuclear nations would see this and believe we were preparing for a nuclear first strike.

9) They’d preempt our imagined nuclear strike with one of their own.

10) We’d retaliate. It’d be the end of the world.

11) All because I wanted buns when I could have made do with lettuce leaves.

12) Lettuce is no threat at all to cause nuclear war. It provides fiber as well!

13) Yay, lettuce.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Venezuelan Hot Dogs Recipe

Posted on March 26, 2013 by pauldelancey

Venezuelan Entree

VENEZUELAN HOT DOGS

INGREDIENTSvenezhd-

1 small onion
1/8 head cabbage
1 3 ounce bag plain potato chips (or whatever amount is close or preferred)
6 potato hot-dog rolls (regular okay)
6 pork hot dogs (beef okay)
mayonnaise
mustard
ketchup

SPECIAL UTENSIL

rice cooker with steamer insert

PREPARATION

Mince onion and cabbage. Smash the potato chips into little bits. My preferred way is to hit the potato-chip bag a number of times with my fist. (Don’t be so enthusiastic that the bag ruptures and little chips fly all over the kitchen.)

Fill bottom of rice cooker with enough water to cover hot dogs. Bring water to boil. Add hot dogs. Put in steamer insert. Add as many rolls as will fit on the insert. Cover with lid. Cook for 2-to-3 minutes or until rolls are warm and soft. Remove rolls. (Be sure to check; over-steamed rolls can get soggy.) Add remaining rolls and cook another 2-to-3 minutes. Remove rolls. Remove hot dogs with tongs or fork.

Put hot dog in roll. Spoon desired amounts of onion, cabbage, and potato chips on hot dog. Squirt mayonnaise, mustard, and ketchup on top of your creation until you are happy. (Eat with the cut of the roll facing up. This is a messy hot dog.)

TIDBITS

1) The recent leader of Venezuela was Hugo Chavez.

2) The United States did not have the best relationship with him.

3) But Venezuela’s hot dogs are great. Perhaps we could show the new Venezuelan leadership how much enjoy this dish.

4) We have good hot dogs as well. Our president could bring their president chili dogs and Coney Island dogs. My their president could give us Venezuelan hot dogs to bring back to the United States.

5) Hot Dog Diplomacy. We should give it a chance. After all, look what Ping-Pong Diplomacy did for China and America.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, politics, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pule Me Arra – Chicken With Walnuts Recipe

Posted on March 24, 2013 by pauldelancey

Albanian Entree

PULE ME ARRA
(Chicken with walnuts)

INGREDIENTSpulemea-

4 chicken breasts
5 garlic cloves
5 ounces walnuts.
1 bay leaf
2 tablespoons olive oil

2 tablespoons flour
3 tablespoons butter (2 tablespoons later)
1/4 teaspoon white pepper (or black pepper)
1/4 teaspoon sea salt (or salt)
1/4 teaspoon thyme
2 tablespoons vinegar

2 egg yolks
2 tablespoons butter

Goes well with rice

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into 1/2″ cubes. Mince garlic. Crush walnuts.

Put chicken, garlic, bay leaf, and olive oil in saucepan. Sauté on medium-high heat for about 10 minutes or until chicken is white inside . (Okay, you might need to cut open a chicken cube to see. If it’s done, you might want to taste that piece to be sure. And then a second chicken cube, and a third, because you never know. ☺) Stir occasionally.

Add flour and 3 tablespoons butter to second saucepan. Sauté the flour on medium-high heat until flour turns light brown. Stir constantly. Add chicken cubes, vinegar, walnuts, pepper, salt, and thyme. Cook for another 20 minutes on low heat. Stir occasionally. Transfer this wonderful mixture to large serving bowl.

Sauté eggs yolks in 2 tablespoons of butter using high heat, in third saucepan, until butter boils and eggs reach desired level of doneness. Pour sautéed eggs and butter on top of chicken-and-walnut mixture. Serve immediately.

TIDBITS

1) Pule me arra translates from Albanian to chicken with walnuts while gjellë me arra means dish with walnuts.

2) This is useful information if you’re ever on an Albanian quiz show.

3) According to one of my FacebookTM friends, Albania along with Moldova are the two forgotten countries of Europe. Your never hear of them.

4) I did find out, though, that Albanians are mad about walnuts.) There is an episode in the Dick van Dyke Show where aliens take over people’s bodies. You can tell they’re aliens because they have no thumbs and absolutely love walnuts.

6) The original Waldorf salad was created at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in 1896 by the maître d. This first version did not contain walnuts.

7) So we know the Waldorf-Astoria was not hiring walnut-loving aliens at that time. Walnuts were added to the salad later.

8) Thus we can pinpoint the Great Walnut-Loving Alien Invasion of Earth to after 1896.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Shorba Baida – Algerian Chicken Soup Recipe

Posted on March 19, 2013 by pauldelancey

Algerian Soup

SHORBA BAIDA
(Chicken Soup)

INGREDIENTSShorbaS-

2 chicken breasts
1 medium onion
2 inch cinnamon stick
2 large tomatoes
10 ounce can chick peas
2 teaspoons olive oil
4 cups chicken broth
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 tablespoon basmati rice
1 tablespoon barley
2 large tomatoes
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon coriander
1/2 tablespoon parsley flakes
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder
Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Cut chicken breasts into 1/2″ cubes. Mince the onion. Grind the cinnamon stick until you get powder. Dice the tomatoes. Drain the chick peas.

Use medium-high heat to sauté the chicken, onion, and cinnamon with olive oil in Dutch oven. Cook for 5-to-10 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently.

Add chick peas, chicken broth, lemon juice, rice, barley, tomatoes, chili powder, parsley, pepper, sat, and tumeric. Cover the Dutch oven and simmer on warm heat for about 1 hour or until rice and barley are soft.

This is great. People love it. Eat your share while you can.

TIDBITS

1) This heavenly soup is the reason the French conquered Algeria in 1830.

2) This heavenly soup is the reason Algeria threw out France in 1962. The Algerians didn’t want to share.

3) Did the Algerians get any culinary benefits from 132 years of Gallic occupation?

4) I hope so. A Vietnamese man once said the only benefit his countrymen derived from French colonial rule was the baguette.

5) Vietnamese culinary artists combined the baguettes with their way of preparing meat to produce the tasty and world-famous banh mi sandwiches.

6) America fought in Vietnam for the banh mi sandwiches. And so it goes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Potato Chervil Soup Recipe

Posted on March 8, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Soup

POTATO CHERVIL SOUP

INGREDIENTSPotCheS-

3 medium brown potatoes
1/2 onion
1 medium carrot
3 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 1/4 cups vegetable broth
3/4 cup milk
2 teaspoons chervil
1/2 teaspoon French four spice (Muntok white pepper, nutmeg, ginger, powdered cloves)
1/4 teaspoon parsley

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Dice potato, onion, and carrot. Put potato, onion, butter, and olive oil in large pot. Sauté potato and onion on medium heat for about 10 minutes or until potato and onion begin to soften. Stir frequently.

Add diced carrot, vegetable broth, milk, chervil, French four spice, and parsley to the pot. Cook for 20 minutes. Start at medium heat reducing to low when soup starts to boil. Stir occasionally.

TIDBITS

1) People use chervil a lot more during the Lenten season than other times as it symbolizes new life and rebirth.

2) People often give up foods for Lent.

3) I always give up lutefisk.

4) Successfully.

5) During all the non-Lenten times as well.

4) I looked up fun facts for chervil on the internet. I found chervil improves the taste of radishes growing next to it.

5) Fun fact, you bet.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Corned Beef Soup Recipe

Posted on March 4, 2013 by pauldelancey

Irish Entree

CORNED BEEF SOUP

INGREDIENTSIrCorBS-

1 4-to-5 pound ready-to-cook corned beef brisket
6 russet potatoes
3 large carrots
1 large white onion
1/2 head cabbage
water
more water

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

crock pot

PREPARATION

At the crock pot’s low setting, the brisket can take 10-to-14 hours to become tender. The high setting will cut this time by about half.

Put ready-to-cook corned beef brisket in crock pot. Add water to crock pot until it covers the brisket. You may need to cut the brisket into smaller pieces depending on the size of your crock pot. Cook for 10-to-14, possibly overnight, or until brisket is tender.

Clean potatoes and carrots. Cut potatoes carrots, onions, and cabbages in slices no thicker than 1/2″ inch and add them to the crock pot. and vegetables. Add as much water as your crock pot will allow. Cook on low setting for about 2 hours or until vegetables are tender.

If you do not have enough water to make soup, boil more water in a separate pot. Combine ingredients from crock pot with hot water from pot in soup bowl. Alternatively, put leftovers from corned-beef meal in large soup. Add water to achieve desired thickness. Cook on high heat until soup boils then turn off heat. Stir occasionally. If people have been asking for 14 hours, “Is it ready, yet?” you can now say yes. Resist the temptation to clock them. You are a gracious host.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses lots of water.

2) Water is good for you. Your body needs it to live. You can go maybe three days without drinking water.

3) Water is also used for showering. You can go indefinitely without showering.

4) I wouldn’t recommend it though. You’ll probably lose your job and all future invitations to neighborhood weenie roasts.

5) And who could live without a weenie roast, especially since the invention of veggie hot dogs?

6) Don’t forget the therapeutic value of showers. Shower spray pounding on one’s shoulders washes away one’s tension and anger.

7) If you don’t release your tension and anger, you’re much more likely to bump someone off.

8) Water. Good for your body. Good for your outlook. Good for your criminal record.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Irish Hamburgers Recipe

Posted on March 1, 2013 by pauldelancey

Irish Entree

IRISH HAMBURGERS

INGREDIENTSIrCorBB-

1 4-to-5 pound ready-to-cook corned beef brisket
6 russet potatoes
3 large carrots
1 large white onion
1/2 head cabbage
water
6 hamburger buns

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

crock pot

PREPARATION

At the crock pot’s low setting, the brisket can take 10-to-14 hours to become tender. The high setting will cut this time by about half.

Put ready-to-cook corned beef brisket in crock pot. Add water to crock pot until it covers the brisket. You may need to cut the brisket into smaller pieces depending on the size of your crock pot. Cook for 10-to-14, possibly overnight, or until brisket is tender.

Clean potatoes and carrots. Cut potatoes carrots, onions, and cabbages in slices no thicker than 1/2″ inch and add them to the crock pot. and vegetables. Add water until it covers the brisket and vegetables. Cook on low setting for about 2 hours or until vegetables are tender.

So far, this has been a simplified, but still traditional meal of corned beef. But new culinary horizons beckon. Beef burgers beget beguilingly Irish burgers, beggorah.

Put a slice of corned beef from crock pot on bun. Top that with a slice of onion and cabbage also from the crock pot. Add a squiggle of mustard and complete with top bun. A Irish burger to be sure.

Use remaining ingredients in crock pot as a traditional corned beef meal or as in the next recipe, corned-beef soup.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses carrots. The world famous cartoon character Bugs Bunny loved carrots.

2) Bugs Bunny was named after one of his creators at Warner Bros. studio, Buggsy Hardaway.

3) Bugs Bunny was officially born on July 27, 1940 in a rabbit warren under Ebbets Field, home of the Dodgers, in Brooklyn. Although previous incarnations occurred in the late 1930s, his official cartoon debut occurred on that date in a cartoon feature called a “Wild Hare.”

4) Bugs went on to have a illustrious cartoon career starring in several beloved shorts and even a few movies. This patriotic bunny also squared off successfully against the nefarious German and Japanese leaders of World War II. Bugs even appeared in two-minute films designed to get Americans to buy war bonds.

5) It’s possible without Bugs Bunny’s buy-war bonds films America would not have had enough funds to prosecute the war against the Axis powers.

6) And indeed, America’s fighting men were grateful. Bugs Bunny was the official mascot of at least one air training school and two air squadrons.

7) Bugsy Siegel’s story is somewhat different. Born into the real world, Bugsy rose to prominence as a bootlegger and notorious co-founder of Murder, Inc. Switching to gambling, Bugsy founded the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. He was gunned down in 1947.

8) There you have it. One Bugsy has made the world laugh for decades and won a world war. The other Bugsy not so much.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chicken Provencale Recipe

Posted on February 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Entree

CHICKEN PROVENÇALE

INGREDIENTSChicPro-

2 chicken breasts
2 teaspoons herbes de Provence
1/2 teaspoon mignonette pepper (Tellicherry black pepper, Muntok white pepper, coriander)
2 tablespoon olive oil
2 red bell peppers
1 green bell pepper
3 garlic cloves
1/2 cup white wine

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

kitchen mallet

Serves one wrestler in training for the Olympics, two people with regular appetites, and four guests who got into your private stash of Belgian truffles before even trying this lovingly prepared meal and are never getting invited again.

PREPARATION

Pound chicken breasts to a half-inch thickness. (Remembering the day’s swarm of rude drivers on your ride home helps immeasurably.) Cut chicken breasts into fourths. Coat chicken pieces with herbes de Provence and mignonette pepper. Cut bell peppers into strips about 1/2″ inch wide and 2″ long. Mince garlic cloves.

Put olive oil in frying pan. Add bell-pepper and garlic. Sauté on high heat for a minute or until olive oil boils. Stir frequently. Add white wine and chicken pieces.

Cover and reduce heat to low-medium for about 5 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. You can cut a piece in half. If the chicken is still pink inside, sauté everything a few minutes more. If both halves are all white, eat one half. It’s your kitchen.

TIDBITS

1) The Olympics first occurred in Ellis, Greece in 776 BC as a way to honor Zeus. Wrestling was perhaps the most popular event.

2) Contestants and trainers appeared nude partly to prevent women from surreptitiously participating.

3) The Olympics started to die out around 260 AD what with barbarians invading the Roman Empire and civil wars erupting every few weeks. In 391 Emperor Theodosius outlawed the games because they were pagan.

4) No summer Olympics, no chance for winter Olympics. No winter Olympics, no bobsledding. No bobsledding, no thriving winter tourist industry. No thriving winter tourist industry, no taxes for the government. No taxes, no money to fund an army for the Empire.

5) Indeed, quite soon after Theodosius’ decision, massive waves of barbarians assaulted the poorly defended Roman Empire, defeating it quite easily.

6) The death of the Roman Empire plunged Europe into the Dark Ages for about a thousand years. Way to go, Theodosius.

7) Today the Olympic Committee is considering dropping wrestling from the games claiming lack of interest.

8) Perhaps there would be more interest if we brought back nude wrestling.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

St. Martin Hamburger Recipe

Posted on February 24, 2013 by pauldelancey

St. Martin Entree

ST. MARTIN HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTSStMarHB-

1 medium yellow onion
1/2 teaspoon bird pepper (St. Martin spice)
1 teaspoon nigelle (St. Martin spice)
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
6 hamburger buns

SPECIAL APPLIANCES

spice grinder
time machine

PREPARATION

Mince yellow onion. Use spice grinder to grind bird pepper. Use hands to combine onion, bird pepper, nigelle, and ground beef in large mixing bowl. Make 6 patties.

Your hands will be messy. Use time machine to go back to a moment when your hands were clean. Be sure to come back to the present moment. Those patties need to be fried and you don’t want to cause a time paradox, do you?

Cook patties in frying pan until meat browns. Flip patties over at least once to keep moisture from exiting the top. Toast hamburger buns. Put patties in buns. Enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) St. Martin is the French side of an island in the Caribbeain. St. Maarten is the Dutch side. Both countries valued the island for its vast salt deposits.

2) Packing meat and fish in salt was one of the few ways to preserve meat and fish way back when. Nations in those days often waged war over lands rich in salt.

3) Indeed, global wars raged constantly in the seventeenth, eighteenth, and nineteenth centuries. The number of such bloody conflicts plummeted in the twentieth century and in our very own, the twenty-first.

4) Why? The development of the refrigerator made it unnecessary for chefs worldwide to use salt to preserve their perishable beef and fish.

5) Well preserved food results in happy contented chefs. Happy chefs cook for happy eaters. Happy eaters comprise happy nations. Happy nations are agreeable nations. Agreeable nations don’t fight each other. No wars, no nuclear Armageddon.

6) So think about that when considering to send back that overcooked steak to the chef.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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