Posts Tagged With: corned beef

Bully Beef Casserole

Papua New Guinean Entree

BULLY BEEF CASSEROLE

INGREDIENTS

¾ cup rice
¼ cup peas (optional)
1 12-ounce can corned beef
3 Roma tomatoes
1 13.5-ounce can coconut milk

SPECIAL UTENSIL

8″ x 8″ casserole dish

Serves 4. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 360 degrees. Cook rice and peas according to instructions on package. While rice cooks, crumble the corned beef. Cut the tomatoes into slices ¼”-to- ½” thick. Line the casserole dish with ½ of the rice. Use ½ of the crumbled corned beef to make a layer above the rice. Use ½ of the tomato slices to make a layer above the corned beef. Repeat this sequence of layers with the remaining rice, corned beef, and tomato slices. Pour coconut milk over casserole. Sprinkle peas over casserole. Bake at 360 degrees for 25 minutes or until coconut milk bubbles.

TIDBITS

1) This entree takes 50 minutes to make. What else could you do with that time besides serving your loved ones a tasty meal? Here are some suggestions.

2) Meditate: Cross your legs and assume a full-lotus position. Meditating clears your mind, soothes your soul, and lowers your blood pressure. Allow 30 of the 50 minutes to cussing as your body gets into and out of difficult position.

2) Read a good book. If it’s a long one such as War and Peace, your mind will be much improved. However, as the novel is so much longer than 50 minutes, you’ll have to give up many 50-minute meals in a row. You will starve.

3) Which is why you’ll have to order pizza after pizza while reading War and Peace. Countries with the highest number of War and Peace copies eat the most pizza.

4) Foment revolution. Of course, no real fomenting can be done in just 50 minutes, which is why America and most countries never, or at most rarely, suffer civil war.

5) Governments do, however, fear dishes that take longer to make. Our leaders go to great lengths to suppress cookbooks with entrees requiring a week of preparation. Now you know.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bully Beef Casserole

Papua New Guinean Entree

BULLY BEEF CASSEROLE

INGREDIENTS

¾ cup rice
¼ cup peas (optional)
1 12-ounce can corned beef
3 Roma tomatoes
1 13.5-ounce can coconut milk

SPECIAL UTENSIL

8″ x 8″ casserole dish

Serves 4. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 360 degrees. Cook rice and peas according to instructions on package. While rice cooks, crumble the corned beef. Cut the tomatoes into slices ¼”-to- ½” thick. Line the casserole dish with ½ of the rice. Use ½ of the crumbled corned beef to make a layer above the rice. Use ½ of the tomato slices to make a layer above the corned beef. Repeat this sequence of layers with the remaining rice, corned beef, and tomato slices. Pour coconut milk over casserole. Sprinkle peas over casserole. Bake at 360 degrees for 25 minutes or until coconut milk bubbles.

TIDBITS

1) This entree takes 50 minutes to make. What else could you do with that time besides serving your loved ones a tasty meal? Here are some suggestions.

2) Meditate: Cross your legs and assume a full-lotus position. Meditating clears your mind, soothes your soul, and lowers your blood pressure. Allow 30 of the 50 minutes to cussing as your body gets into and out of difficult position.

2) Read a good book. If it’s a long one such as War and Peace, your mind will be much improved. However, as the novel is so much longer than 50 minutes, you’ll have to give up many 50-minute meals in a row. You will starve.

3) Which is why you’ll have to order pizza after pizza while reading War and Peace. Countries with the highest number of War and Peace copies eat the most pizza.

4) Foment revolution. Of course, no real fomenting can be done in just 50 minutes, which is why America and most countries never, or at most rarely, suffer civil war.

5) Governments do, however, fear dishes that take longer to make. Our leaders go to great lengths to suppress cookbooks with entrees requiring a week of preparation. Now you know.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Corned Beef Hash and Hornswoggling

American Breakfast

CORNED BEEF HASH

INGREDIENTSCornedBeefHash-

3 medium brown potatoes
1 pound corned beef
1 onion
2 tablespoons butter
2 teaspoons parsley
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 cup beef broth or broth from cooking corned beef

PREPARATION

Bake potatoes, keep skins on, at 400 degrees for 40 minutes or until potatoes are soft. Remove potatoes. While potatoes cool, dice corned beef and mince onion. Put onion and butter in large skillet. Sauté onion at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until it softens. Stir frequently.

Cut potatoes into 1/2″ cubes. Add potato, corned beef, parsley, Worcestershire sauce, pepper, and broth to skillet. Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes or until potato turns golden brown. Stir occasionally. Add broth and cook for another 3 minutes. Stir occasionally.

TIDBITS

1) Reporters once ridiculed Vice President Dan Quayle for misspelling potato. Thank goodness for him he didn’t need to write the word “heteroskedasticity.” Indeed how many reporters can spell that word? Can you spell “heteroskedasticity?” Okay, without looking at this tidbit? Of course, if you weren’t looking at this, you wouldn’t be challenged to spell “hetero…” Oh never mind.

2) Potatoes are used to make French fries at baseball games. However, corned beef hash is not served at any baseball stadium, not even at the single A level. Caviar-and-filet mignon hash might be served at ball parks located in the ritziest of neighborhoods, but I’ve never heard of it.

3) By the way, the word “hornswoggle,” meaning to “bamboozle,” comes from baseball as this excerpt from the novel The Fur West states,

“I loved baseball, too. Timmy played it and so did many of my other friends, Jeb, Bobby, Pete, and Josh, although I didn’t cotton to a sneaky Irish kid named Sean Hornswoggle. The redhead would hit the ball and run directly to second base if he thought he could get away with it. We soon took to calling any cheating “hornswoggling.”

– Chef Paul

3novels

Please check out Paul De Lancey’s books on Amazon.com.

 

or visit his website www.lordsoffun.com for signed copies.

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Reuben Sandwiches and Hypnosis

American Entree

REUBEN SANDWICH

INGREDIENTSReubenSandwich-

8 slices rye, pumpernickel, wheat bread, or favorite bread
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons Russian salad dressing (see recipe)
12 ounces corned beef
4 ounces Swiss cheese
1 1/4 cups coleslaw (see recipe)

SPECIAL SKILL

hypnosis

PREPARATION

Spread butter on one side of each bread slice and Russian dressing on the other. Place bread slices butter-side down. Top slices in order with equal amounts of corned beef, cheese, and coleslaw. Assemble sandwiches.

Did you spill anything while putting sandwiches together? If no, hooray! If yes, was anyone looking? If not, hooray! If yes, stare them in the eye and use hypnosis until they forget the whole mishap.

Anyway, place as many sandwiches as will fit in skillet. Cook covered on medium heat for 2-to-4 minutes per side or until bread toasts and cheese melt. Repeat with remaining sandwiches. Serve to aware and hypnotized guests alike.

TIDBITS

1) Russians never shake hands through an open door. They believe it leads to arguments.

2) No, it doesn’t.

3) Yes, it does.

4) Russians never shake hands through a closed door.

5)

6) Hah! Got you there, odd tidbits. Left you speechless.

7) Russians never open doors with salad dressing on their hands. See? Got my voice back.

– Chef Paul

 

3novels

Please check out Paul De Lancey’s books on Amazon.com.

 

or visit his website www.lordsoffun.com for signed copies.

 

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Corned Beef Soup Recipe

Irish Entree

CORNED BEEF SOUP

INGREDIENTSIrCorBS-

1 4-to-5 pound ready-to-cook corned beef brisket
6 russet potatoes
3 large carrots
1 large white onion
1/2 head cabbage
water
more water

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

crock pot

PREPARATION

At the crock pot’s low setting, the brisket can take 10-to-14 hours to become tender. The high setting will cut this time by about half.

Put ready-to-cook corned beef brisket in crock pot. Add water to crock pot until it covers the brisket. You may need to cut the brisket into smaller pieces depending on the size of your crock pot. Cook for 10-to-14, possibly overnight, or until brisket is tender.

Clean potatoes and carrots. Cut potatoes carrots, onions, and cabbages in slices no thicker than 1/2″ inch and add them to the crock pot. and vegetables. Add as much water as your crock pot will allow. Cook on low setting for about 2 hours or until vegetables are tender.

If you do not have enough water to make soup, boil more water in a separate pot. Combine ingredients from crock pot with hot water from pot in soup bowl. Alternatively, put leftovers from corned-beef meal in large soup. Add water to achieve desired thickness. Cook on high heat until soup boils then turn off heat. Stir occasionally. If people have been asking for 14 hours, “Is it ready, yet?” you can now say yes. Resist the temptation to clock them. You are a gracious host.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses lots of water.

2) Water is good for you. Your body needs it to live. You can go maybe three days without drinking water.

3) Water is also used for showering. You can go indefinitely without showering.

4) I wouldn’t recommend it though. You’ll probably lose your job and all future invitations to neighborhood weenie roasts.

5) And who could live without a weenie roast, especially since the invention of veggie hot dogs?

6) Don’t forget the therapeutic value of showers. Shower spray pounding on one’s shoulders washes away one’s tension and anger.

7) If you don’t release your tension and anger, you’re much more likely to bump someone off.

8) Water. Good for your body. Good for your outlook. Good for your criminal record.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Simple Corned Beef Recipe

Irish Entree

SIMPLE CORNED BEEF

INGREDIENTSCornBee-

1 4-to-5 pound ready-to-cook corned beef brisket
6 russet potatoes
3 large carrots
1 large white onion
1/2 head cabbage
water

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

crock pot

PREPARATION

At the crock pot’s low setting, the brisket can take 10-to-14 hours to become tender. The high setting will cut this time by about half.

Put ready-to-cook corned beef brisket in crock pot. Add water to crock pot until it covers the brisket. You may need to cut the brisket into smaller pieces depending on the size of your crock pot. Cook for 10-to-14, possibly overnight, or until brisket is tender.

Clean potatoes and carrots. Cut potatoes carrots, onions, and cabbages in slices no thicker than 1/2″ inch and add them to the crock pot. and vegetables. Add water until it covers the brisket and vegetables. Cook on low setting for about 2 hours or until vegetables are tender. Serve to adoring guests.

This is an astoundingly versatile dish. See the following two recipes for delightful meals made out of this recipe’s leftovers.

Tell your spellbound guests corned-beef takes 10 days to prepare. This, of course, is the do-it-yourself corned-beef version. You used ready-to-eat corned beef brisket. But you needn’t tell them that.

TIDBITS

1) Potatoes make great French fries.

2) They’re nutritious and a great source of calories too.

3) They grow in the ground where they can’t be seen by hungry, foraging armies marching back and forth across peasants’ fields.

4) On July 14, 1689 Madame Farine du Blé of Poulet sur Marne noticed invading Bavarians ransacking the granary of her neighbors, the Herbes, while leaving her own field of potatoes completely untouched.

5) This fact kinda excited the peasantry of France who relied almost exclusively on food for eating.

6) Frederick the Great of Prussia noticed this fact as well. He insisted that all the Prussian peasants plant potatoes.

7) And boy, those peasants were glad they did. Massive French, Austrian, and Russian armies crisscrossed the Prussian kingdom from 1756 to 1763 carting off all the wheat they could find. But the Prussian peasants didn’t starve.

8) Why? These farmers simply waited for the invading soldiers to leave, dug up their potatoes, and cooked them. And if the peasants also had the proper spices and deep fryers, they dined on papas rellena, Peruvian stuffed potatoes.

9) When individual peasants don’t starve, the country as a whole doesn’t starve. A well-fed nation can afford to feed it armies in the field. And those Prussian armies did really well earning both victory and survival at the end of the Seven Years War.

10) Prussia united Germany in 1871. A united Germany caused World War I. A united Germany caused World War II. Both wars were unarguably unpleasant.

11) So think about that when you are asked, “Do you want fries with that?”

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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