Posts Tagged With: bell pepper

Nicaraguan Indio Viejo

Posted on June 16, 2024 by pauldelancey

Nicaraguan Entree

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INDIO VIEJO

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INGREDIENTS
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1 green bell pepper (1 more later)
10 garlic cloves
2 pounds skirt steak or chicken breast
1 onion (2 more later)
1 green bell pepper
2 onions
5 tomatoes
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2⅓ cups masa harina or 12 corn tortillas
3 tablespoons sour orange juice or lemon juice
1 teaspoon achiote powder or sweet paprika
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons fresh mint, spearmint, or cilantro
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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personal kitchen angel
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Serves 6. Takes 2 hours.
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PREPARATION
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Seed and dice 1 green bell pepper. Dice 1 onion. Cut each garlic clove into four pieces. Add meat, garlic cloves, 1 green bell pepper, 1 onion, and enough water to cover to large pot. Bring to boil using high heat . Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1 hour 40 minutes or until meat is tender to the fork. Strain and reserve meat/garlic/bell pepper/onion. Use forks to shred meat. Save broth.
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30 minutes before meat should be tender, seed and dice 1 green bell pepper. Dice 2 onions and tomatoes. Add diced bell pepper, onion, tomatoes, and vegetable oil to large pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until bell pepper and onion soften.
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Add reserved meat/garlic/bell pepper mix, masa harina, sour orange juice, achiote, pepper, and salt. Stir constantly while adding enough reserved broth it obtains the consistency of a thick stew. Simmer on low for 10 minutes or until there are no flour lumps. Stir constantly. Dice mint. Garnish with mint.
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TIDBITS
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1) Maybe your guests hurt your feelings by asking for rice or fried plantains after you’ve cooked for two hours. In this case, visit your personal kitchen angel. She’ll fold her wings around you and say, “There, there.” You’ll feel all better.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Anguished Demise of Bill bel Pepper.

Posted on February 19, 2024 by pauldelancey

Inside a bell pepper, no one can hear it scream. Maybe bell peppers’ scream can’t be heard because they’re mimes. Miming bell peppers would explain a lot.­

Bill bel Pepper went quietly into the night, but not easily as the photo below attests. On the other hand, Mr. bel Pepper had it coming as he’d giving me the silent treatment all afternoon. His fate was as an ingredient in Peanut Soup from Cameroon. This soup turned out rather well, so some good came out of him being minced into little bits.

And now, Bill bel Pepper.

The end of Bill bel Pepper

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: face of evil | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Pizza Bread

Posted on January 18, 2024 by pauldelancey

Fusion Entree

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PIZZA BREAD

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INGREDIENTS­
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½ bell pepper
1 small onion
8 slices bread
1 teaspoon oregano or pizza seasoning
24 slices pepperoni
1 cup grated mozzarella cheese
½ cup pasta sauce (8 times at 1 tablespoon)
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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mandoline (optional)
parchment paper
9″ * 12″ baking tray
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Serves 4 or makes 8 pizza breads. Takes 20 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Seed bell pepper. Use mandoline on bell pepper to make ¼”-thick rings. Dice onion. Spread 1 tablespoon pasta sauce over each bread slice. Sprinkle oregano equally over bread slices. Place 1 bell-pepper ring on each bread slice. Place 3 pepperoni slices on each bread. Sprinkle onion equally over bread slices. Sprinkle mozzarella over  over onion toppings.
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Cover baking tray with parchment paper. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or until cheese melts and turns golden.
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TIDBITS
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1) I served “Pizza Bread” to the natives tonight. It was “great.”
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2) On July 11, 1939 President Roosevelt served hot dogs to King George VI of Great Britain.  One version of the menu read, “Hot Dogs (if weather permits).” This fairly formal picnic proved to be front page news. The New York Times ran the headline, “KING TRIES HOT DOG AND ASKS FOR MORE.”
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3) Sad to say, I expect no such headline for my Pizza Bread, although one native ate three pizza breads. King George ate only two hot dogs. Three is greater than two. I win.
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4) What must I do to get the same celebrity status that Roosevelt gained by his hot-dog meal? Simple, I hereby formally invite King Charles III for tacos at my humble manor. Any date he desires. There, that ought out to do it. I’ll keep you posted.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Miracle of Birth

Posted on January 9, 2023 by pauldelancey

Is there anything more heartwarming and beautiful than the miracle of birth?

Particularly so, when it happens in the wild.

Here then is the rarely seen birth of a red bell pepper.

Just one more push

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: things to see and do | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Brazilan Kebabs

Posted on August 7, 2014 by pauldelancey

Brazilian Entree

KEBABS

INGREDIENTSKebab-

1¾ pounds rump steak
2 garlic cloves
¼ teaspoon cayenne
½ teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon paprika
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons lemon juice
¼ cup olive oil

1 yellow onion
½ pound bacon
1 yellow bell pepper
10 ounces plum tomatoes

SPECIAL UTENSIL

barbecue grill

PREPARATION

Cut steak into 1½” cubes. Mince garlic. Add steak cubes, garlic, cayenne, cumin, paprika, pepper, and salt to large mixing bowl. Toss steak cubes until they are well coated with spices. Add lemon juice and oil. Gently toss steak cubes. Put mixing bowl in refrigerator for 2 hours to marinate.

While steak cubes marinate, cut onion into 1½” cubes. (Well, make the best cubes you can out of a round onion. This recipes yearns for a cubic, organic onion) Cut bacon in 1½” long rectangles. Remove seeds from bell pepper and cut into 1½” squares. Thread steak cubes, onion cubes, bacon, bell-pepper squares, and plum tomatoes onto skewers. Heat grill to 450 degrees..Grill kebabs for 1-to-2 minutes Rotates kebabs ¼ turn and grill for another 1-to-2 minutes. Keep rotating and grilling kebabs until meat is done to your liking.

TIDBITS

1) Brazilian bus drivers once trained beetles to retrieve coins from the fare boxes. Police arrested all humans and beetles from this daring criminal ring. I wonder if the charges against the beetles were dropped. How do you read rights to a beetle? Or do beetles have no legal rights in Brazil?

2) The prospect of insect crime keeps me up at night. Sure, I can lock my doors, even deadbolt them. But is my home truly secure when any robber can get his trained termites to eat a large hole in my front door? The best defense against this is an army of ants. Ants hate termites. Just make sure your ants have enough to do. Bored ants tend to wander to the bed where they inhibit whoopee.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Peanut Soup

Posted on July 4, 2014 by pauldelancey

Cameroonian Soup

PEANUT SOUP

INGREDIENTSPeanutSoup-

1 red chile pepper
1 yellow onion
2 tomatoes
2 garlic cloves
1 green bell pepper
⅓ cup unsalted peanuts
2 tablespoons peanut oil
4 cups vegetable or chicken broth
1 cup peanut butter (smooth or chunky)
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup baby spinach

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder

PREPARATION

Remove seeds from red chile pepper. Dice onion and tomatoes. Mince garlic cloves, green bell pepper, and red chile pepper. Grind peanuts in spice grinder.

Add peanut oil, garlic, onion, green bell pepper, and red chile pepper to pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Add vegetable broth, peanut butter, tomato, pepper, and salt. Stir until peanut butter dissolves into soup. Reduce heat to low. Simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add spinach. Simmer on low for another 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Ladle soup into bowls. Top soup with ground peanuts.

TIDBITS

1) In 1472, Portuguese explorers named one of Cameroon’s rivers Rio dos Camarões after all the shrimp in it. This is how the country, Cameroon, gets it name. Way cool. I wish where I lived could be renamed Taco. I love tacos.

2)In 1931, Cameroon sent $3.77 to America’s starving. Or they could have sent shrimp.

3) The world’s biggest specie of frog lives in Cameroon. One of them is called Jeremiah.

4)The yellow stripe in Cameroon’s flag represents sunshine. Antarctica, if it ever becomes a country, should have a white stripe representing snow and a beaker in honor of all the scientists living there.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Macarena Macaroni

Posted on November 1, 2013 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

MACARENA MACARONI

INGREDIENTSMacarMa-

12 ounces uncooked three-colored macaroni
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium white onion
1 red bell pepper
2 stalks green onion
1 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon tarragon
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon Vegetable MagicTM spice
1/2 teaspoon garlic salt
1/2 teaspoon onion salt
1/2 teaspoon salt
16 ounce ground beef
8 ounces grated Four Mexican Cheeses
3 ounces Cotija cheese

PREPARATION

Follow instructions shown on bag to cook multicolored macaroni. (Wouldn’t it be neat if your clothes washer had a setting for boil? Then you could use it to make quite a lot of macaroni.) Look for macaroni with the Mexican colors of: red, white or plain, and green. Drain water when done. Keep macaroni in pot. (Because once it gets out, the macaroni will never return. Wanderlust and all that.)

While macaroni is cooking, dice white onion, bell pepper, and green onion. Crumble Cotija cheese. Add olive oil, white onion, green onion, bell pepper, cumin, tarragon, chili powder, vegetable spice, garlic salt, onion salt, and salt to pan. Sauté for about 5 minutes, stirring constantly.

Mix in ground beef. Cook on medium heat until meat changes color. Stir occasionally.

Blend beef mixture in pot with macaroni. Crumble Cotija cheese. Sprinkle with Cotija cheese and Four Mexican Cheeses.

TIDBITS

1) Beef is a major ingredient of this dish. Beef comes from cattle. There is no singular form for cattle.

2) Pig is the singular form of pigs.

3) American foreign policy suffered a reverse at the Bay of Pigs in Cuba.

4) Cubans like pork. Why didn’t we send them pork instead?

5) But beef was preferred in the Old West.

6) That is why they had cattle drives back then.

7) As depicted in the television show Rawhide.

8) In Rawhide, Clint Eastwood referred to their cattle as beeves.

9) The singular form of beeves is beef.

10) Apparently, the English language was much stronger back then.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Philly Cheese Steak

Posted on September 12, 2013 by pauldelancey

American entree

PHILLY CHEESE STEAK

INGREDIENTSPhillyCheeseStk-

1 pound rib-eye steak
5 ounces provolone cheese
1 green bell pepper
1 large yellow onion
4 cloves garlic (2 teaspoons)
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 hoagie rolls (or Italian rolls or Kaiser rolls or baguettes)
2 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil

PREPARATION

Slice steak, provolone, bell pepper, and onion as thinly as you can. Mince garlic. Put vegetable oil in skillet. Heat oil using medium-high heat. It’ll be hot enough when a bit of onion causes the oil to sizzle. Add onion, bell pepper, garlic, and salt to skillet. Sauté for 5 minutes or until onion becomes tender. Stir frequently.

Add steak slices and cook on medium-high heat for 3 minutes or until meat browns. Place provolone slices over steak mixture. Heat until provolone melts. Spoon cheesy/steak mixture into hoagie rolls.

TIDBITS

1) Many believe Pat and Harry Olivieri invented the Philly steak sandwich in the early ‘30s. Their original sandwich consisted of chopped steak on hoagie rolls. Joe “Cocky Joe” Lorenza, one of their managers, later added cheese.

2) John Kerry ran for president in 2004. He might have won but for a widely publicized gaffe where he tried to order a Philly cheese steak with Swiss cheese instead of the traditional provolone, American cheese, or Cheez WhizTM.

According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, “In Philadelphia, that’s an alternative lifestyle”

3) And so George W. Bush won a second term. Barack Obama was elected in 2008 in what could have been Kerry’s second term. And in that time we’ve had a major global recession, terrorist bombings, nuclear weapons programs by Iran and North Korea, global warming, the proliferation of high-fructose corn syrup, and wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

4) So careful when ordering your Philly cheese steak. The fate of the world depends on it.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bacon-Wrapped Hot Dogs

Posted on September 9, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Entree

BACON-WRAPPED HOT DOGS

INGREDIENTSBaconWrapHD-

1 onion
1 tomato
1 green bell pepper
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
8 hot dogs
8 bacon slices
1 jalapeno pepper
2 tablespoons ketchup
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
2 tablespoons yellow mustard
8 buns
no-stick spray

PREPARATION

Dice onion, tomato, bell pepper, and jalapeno pepper. Put vegetable oil, onion, bell pepper, and jalapeno in skillet. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Set aside.

Wrap a bacon slice around each hot dog. Tuck in the ends of the bacon slices so they don’t unwrap. (Or use toothpicks.) Spray new skillet. Add bacon-wrapped hot dogs to skillet. Fry on medium-high heat for 5-to-10 minutes or until bacon is crispy and hot dogs are done. Turn bacon-wrapped hot dogs frequently to ensure even cooking.

While hot dogs are frying, toast the buns. Spread ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard on buns.. Sprinkle buns with diced tomatoes. Add bacon-wrapped hot dogs. Close and eat. Yum!

TIDBITS

1) A chipotle is a ripe, smoked jalapeno. A salmon that has been smoked is a smoked salmon.

2) A jalapeno pepper went to outer space in 1982. I have never been to outer space. I have been bested by a jalapeno pepper. It’s quite humbling.

3) However, as far as I know smoked salmon has never been to the moon or on the Space Shuttle. Please don’t tell me if it has; I don’t think my ego could handle it.

4 ) Don’t drink water after eating jalapenos. The water merely spreads the heat around. Drink milk. Milk blocks the pain receptors in your mouth. Got milk?

5) Jalapeno-salmon burgers are a popular entree. Someday, you will be able to order them in space. Be sure to have a lid for your milk. Milk gets everywhere in zero-gravity.

– Chef Paul

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Meatball Pizza

Posted on August 7, 2013 by pauldelancey

Italian Entree

MEATBALL PIZZA

INGREDIENTSMeatballPizza-

1/2 onion
1 red bell pepper
flour
pizza crust (bought or from below recipe)
1 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes
1/2 cup pasta sauce
1/2 teaspoon garlic
1/2 pound ground beef
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
1 cup grated mozzarella cheese
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSIL

pizza pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Slice onion and bell pepper into thin rings. Cut rings in half. Dust pizza pan with flour and spray with no-stick spray. Put pizza crust on pizza pan. Spread diced tomatoes and its juice evenly over the pizza crust. Spread pasta sauce evenly over the crust.

In small mixing bowl, smoosh garlic and ground beef together. Use hands to form meatballs 1/2″ inch cross. Sprinkle meatballs, Italian seasoning, and mozzarella evenly over pizza. Put pizza in oven and bake at 400 degrees for 10-to-15 minutes or until cheese or crust is golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Favorite pizza toppings around the world:

America: bacon, ground beef, bell pepper, extra cheese, mushrooms (ugh. Sorry, I don’t like them), onion, pepperoni, sausage, tomatoes
Australia: shrimp, pineapple, barbecue sauce
Brazil: green peas, hard-boil eggs
China: thousand island dressing, eel sushi
Costa Rica: coconut, pineapple
France: flambée (bacon, onion, fresh cream)
Germany: egg, asparagus
India: pickled ginger, lamb, chicken tikka
Japan: ketchup, eel, squid, and Mayo Jaga (mayonnaise, potato, bacon)
Korea: sweet potato, shrimp
Netherlands: double meat, double cheese, double onion
Pakistan: curry
Russia: mockba (a combination of sardines, tuna, mackerel, salmon, and onions), red herring
Venezuela: corn, goat cheese

2) But if you really want to visit the cutting edge of pizza making you must go to Sweden where the following smorgasbord of toppings are popular: allspice, artichoke, banana, bacon, beets, bell pepper, Bearnaise sauce, cabbage, caper, carrot, chicken, chocolate, crab, curry, duck, eggplant, filet mignon, French fries, fruit cocktail, gorgonzola, guacamole, ham, hard-boiled eggs, honey. kebab meat. leeks, mashed potato, mayonnaise, onion, peanut, pepperoni, pickles, pineapple, raisin, salami, sausage, shallot, shrimp, white sauce, taco spices, tuna, and zucchini.

3) I really can’t explain Sweden’s unbridled culinary wildness. Swedish cuisine was much blander when I visited the country some years ago. Was there a mass poisoning of chefs by rotten lutefisk at a culinary convention? It’s quite possible; how can you detect bad lutefisk?

4) There are more pizza toppings in Sweden than are dreamed of in your philosophy.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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