.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Haikus are little three-line poems. The first lines has five syllables. The next line has seven, while the last lines reverts back to five.
See the following traditional haiku. It evokes clumsiness, mess, iredeemable loss, and hunger.
LOSS
I dropped my soup bowl.
Soup went all over the floor.
I shall go hungry.
Sure, that’s brilliant but, in general, writing good poetry is hard. That’s why today’s aspiring poets are flocking to one-word haikus.
The following one-word haiku evokes tacos.
TACOS
Tacos.
See great one-word haikus are easy. Give it a whirl. Please send me what you come up with.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
You’d be surprised how useful the following checklist can be. Carry multiple copies to hand out to those who would come between you and your one true love.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Let’s face it, the affairs of people remain remain fraught with chaos and tinged with unpleasantness. We need something in our lives that stays constant, orderly, and clean. Astronomy fulfills that role all the time. Or does it?
Halley’s (pronounced Halley’s) Comet takes a long elliptical orbit around our planet, returning to Earth every 76 years. That comet visited us in 1910. But take a look around your room. Do you see any evidence–posters perhaps?–that Comet Halley passed by us in 1986? No, I didn’t think so.
Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! The clocklike movements of our Solar System are falling apart. Maybe the entire universe is returning to singularity in a Big Collapse. We’re all going to die! We’re all going to die! Damn the calories, I’m eating an entire chocolate cake.
But fear not. We need no longer end our sentences in exclamation marks. The period, our workhorse, will suffice.
For I have found my Official Halley’s Comet Observer’s Certificate. I saw Halley’s Comet back in 1986. I humbly share my proof below. Now relax and breathe slowly, the universe is still working fine. You will live. You will thrive. There will still be love and tacos in your future.
Note, I was so excited in 1986 about spotting Halley’s Comet and thus saving us all that I started to write in the date in the spot reserved for my signature. But can you blame me?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The world is harsh and terrifying. Sometimes it seems that the forces of evil will soon overwhelm us entirely. But no! All is not lost. We have tacos. Lots and lots of wonderful tacos. Tacos are tasty. Tacos are good. You need to see three tacos to boost your morale and resolve. Let the tacos’ counteroffensive against evil begin. Excelsior!
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Goofy Man says what’s in our hearts.
Goofy Man #1
.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Where are my glasses?
I cannot see without them.
Oh, where did they go?
Tacos, oh tacos,
You’re the world’s tastiest food
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Zombies, oh zombies,
You are ever so scary,
Just less than live folks
Do zombies need to
practice social distancing?
I dont want them close.
My glasses are lost.
Can’t see approaching zombies.
I am so, so doomed.
Science is helpful.
I often use my landline
to find my cell phone.
Laundry, oh laundry,
In apocalyptic times,
Will you still pile up?
See the butterfly.
Does it know its algebra?
Does it have a need?
Knowing calculus,
Does it help you get a date?
Or is it just looks?
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Quick, what are the most beloved foods in America?
Why, they’re pizzas, tacos, and hamburgers.
What’s the only thing wrong with pizzas, tacos, and hamburgers?
You can’t have them all in one entree. If only there were an authentic Italian Pizzeria that had taco and hamburger toppings. Not just some hamburger meat, taco meat, some onions, cheese, and Mexican spices. No! We all want, we all crave, a pizza topped with entire tacos and entire hamburgers. But where, oh where, is their such a culinary heaven?
This dining bliss is found at Carl La Fong’s Italian Pizzeria. Order the Mammoth Pepperoni Taco Hamburger pizza. After just one slice you will be the happiest you’ve ever been while dining. So go down the Carl La Fong’s Italian Pizzeria. You’ll never want to dine anywhere else ever again.
The 32″ Mammoth Pepperoni Taco Hamburger Pizza
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I wrote down nine things I like to see when I’m sad. I wrote them down just as I thought of them. Here they are:
I hope these pictures make you happy as well.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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