Posts Tagged With: America

Venezuelan Hot Dogs Recipe

Posted on March 26, 2013 by pauldelancey

Venezuelan Entree

VENEZUELAN HOT DOGS

INGREDIENTS

1 small onion
1/8 head cabbage
1 3 ounce bag plain potato chips (or whatever amount is close or preferred)
6 potato hot-dog rolls (regular okay)
6 pork hot dogs (beef okay)
mayonnaise
mustard
ketchup

SPECIAL UTENSIL

rice cooker with steamer insert

PREPARATION

Mince onion and cabbage. Smash the potato chips into little bits. My preferred way is to hit the potato-chip bag a number of times with my fist. (Don’t be so enthusiastic that the bag ruptures and little chips fly all over the kitchen.)

Fill bottom of rice cooker with enough water to cover hot dogs. Bring water to boil. Add hot dogs. Put in steamer insert. Add as many rolls as will fit on the insert. Cover with lid. Cook for 2-to-3 minutes or until rolls are warm and soft. Remove rolls. (Be sure to check; over-steamed rolls can get soggy.) Add remaining rolls and cook another 2-to-3 minutes. Remove rolls. Remove hot dogs with tongs or fork.

Put hot dog in roll. Spoon desired amounts of onion, cabbage, and potato chips on hot dog. Squirt mayonnaise, mustard, and ketchup on top of your creation until you are happy. (Eat with the cut of the roll facing up. This is a messy hot dog.)

TIDBITS

1) The recent leader of Venezuela was Hugo Chavez.

2) The United States did not have the best relationship with him.

3) But Venezuela’s hot dogs are great. Perhaps we could show the new Venezuelan leadership how much enjoy this dish.

4) We have good hot dogs as well. Our president could bring their president chili dogs and Coney Island dogs. My their president could give us Venezuelan hot dogs to bring back to the United States.

5) Hot Dog Diplomacy. We should give it a chance. After all, look what Ping-Pong Diplomacy did for China and America.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, politics, recipes | Tags: America, cabbage, chili dogs, China, cookbook, De Lancey, diplomacy, entree, hot dogs, Hugo Chavez, leadership.Coney Island, mayonnaise, ping pong, potato, potato chips, President, recipe, recipes, rice cooker, United States, Venezuelan | Leave a comment

Terri Lynn Coop, Winner of Bump Off Your Enemies Literary Event

Posted on March 22, 2013 by pauldelancey

In the Bump Off Your Enemies Literary Event,I am pleased to announce winner number two of two.

Please join with me in congratulating Terri for
her submission; IT’S NOT EASY BEING GREEN.

By: Terri Lynn Coop

‘It’s not easy being green…’

The refrain from the old Muppets tune ran through my head as I stirred the lime jello.
I hate this fucking stuff. Ten years of unholy hell masquerading as holy matrimony. I could stand the arguments. The boredom. The never-ending laundry. However, by far, the worst of it was his insistence on lime jello every Sunday. Said it reminded him of his mother. Never red. Never orange. Once I substituted blue and he sulked for three days. Always green. And always in molds. As if I didn’t have enough to do.

Well, tonight I changed up mom’s recipe just a bit. In each of those putrid jiggling four-leaf clovers was a little surprise.
I didn’t know Visine was deadly until I saw an episode of “America’s Most Interesting Poisons.” The cable channels are so educational.
Squeeze. Drip. Squeeze. Drip. Squeeze. Drip.

As I got to the last hollow in the mold, a new song appeared in my head.

‘I can see clearly now…’
✍ ✍ ✍ ✍ ✍
Terri Lynn Coop manages emergencies by day, writes by night, and is an unapologetic geek the rest of the time. She has been known to blog at http://readinrittinrhetoric.blogspot.com/

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: America, blog, Bump Off Your Enemies, Candace C. Bowen, jello, literary, matrimony, Muppets, Paul R. De Lancey, poisons, Terri Lynn Coop, Visine | Leave a comment

Shorba Baida – Algerian Chicken Soup Recipe

Posted on March 19, 2013 by pauldelancey

Algerian Soup

SHORBA BAIDA
(Chicken Soup)

INGREDIENTS

2 chicken breasts
1 medium onion
2 inch cinnamon stick
2 large tomatoes
10 ounce can chick peas
2 teaspoons olive oil
4 cups chicken broth
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 tablespoon basmati rice
1 tablespoon barley
2 large tomatoes
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon coriander
1/2 tablespoon parsley flakes
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder
Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Cut chicken breasts into 1/2″ cubes. Mince the onion. Grind the cinnamon stick until you get powder. Dice the tomatoes. Drain the chick peas.

Use medium-high heat to sauté the chicken, onion, and cinnamon with olive oil in Dutch oven. Cook for 5-to-10 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently.

Add chick peas, chicken broth, lemon juice, rice, barley, tomatoes, chili powder, parsley, pepper, sat, and tumeric. Cover the Dutch oven and simmer on warm heat for about 1 hour or until rice and barley are soft.

This is great. People love it. Eat your share while you can.

TIDBITS

1) This heavenly soup is the reason the French conquered Algeria in 1830.

2) This heavenly soup is the reason Algeria threw out France in 1962. The Algerians didn’t want to share.

3) Did the Algerians get any culinary benefits from 132 years of Gallic occupation?

4) I hope so. A Vietnamese man once said the only benefit his countrymen derived from French colonial rule was the baguette.

5) Vietnamese culinary artists combined the baguettes with their way of preparing meat to produce the tasty and world-famous banh mi sandwiches.

6) America fought in Vietnam for the banh mi sandwiches. And so it goes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: Algeria, Algerian, America, baguettes, banh mi, barley, basmati, broth, chick peas, chicken soup, cinnamon, cookbook, culinary, De Lancey, Dutch, France, French, Gallic, lemon juice, parsley, pepper, recipe, recipes, rice, shorba, shorba baida, tumeric, Vietnam, Vietnamese | Leave a comment

Powegian Garlic Bread Soup Recipe

Posted on March 16, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Soup

POWEGIAN GARLIC BREAD SOUP

INGREDIENTS

2 10″ garlic bread halves
3 garlic cloves
3 stalks green onion
1/4 cup olive oil
1 medium yellow onion
6 Roma tomatoes
1 green bell pepper
3 cups vegetable or chicken broth
1/2 cup sour cream
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
3 eggs

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Dice tomatoes and green bell pepper. Cut garlic bread into 1/2″ slices. Mince garlic, green onion, and yellow onion. Sauté bread, garlic, green onion, and yellow onion with olive oil in Dutch oven on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until onions begin to soften. Stir frequently.

Add broth, tomato, green, bell pepper, sour cream, Italian seasoning, and pepper. Cook on high heat until soup begins to boil. Stir frequently. Add eggs. Stir frequently until eggs are cooked to your desired level of doneness. Not a good time to contemplate the infinite.

Serve to happy hungry hordes.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses three eggs. In the stateroom scene from the movie Monkey Business the zany Harpo Marx constantly asks for two eggs.

2) Harpo Marx is not related to Karl Marx.

3) Karl Marx was not at all zany, preaching constantly for a worker-run state via violent revolution.

4) The comedic career of Karl Marx never got anywhere. Indeed, it is doubtful he even tried.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: Amazon, America, American, bread, Dutch, eggs, garlic, Harpo Marx, hordes, Italian, Karl Marx, Marx, Monkey Business, movie, Nook, Poway, Powegian, revolution, Roma, soup, tomatoes, zany | Leave a comment

Putting Our Dead-Beat Ghosts To Work

Posted on March 9, 2013 by pauldelancey

For too long American ghosts have been living the high life feasting on our psychic energy.

What do these ghosts give us in return? Nothing, and that’s bad for us living folks. And truly, subsisting on stealing our psychic energy has to be demoralizing to these ghosts who haven’t done an honest day’s work in their deaths.

Likewise, it’s time for us the living to get over our prejudice over hiring dead workers. Let’s face it, being dead is one of life’s truly enduring resume stains. Can you recall even one instance of a ghost getting a job over an able-bodied person. I though not.

But it needn’t be this way. There are many jobs that ghosts can do better than the living. Please consider:

1) Hiring ghosts as security guards. They’d scare the heck out of robbers and even if tempted wouldn’t be able to cart away your valuables.

2) Use them as night lights. Look at how the eyes of the young woman in this picture. See how they glow. Don’t you want a little bit of light when you need to visit the bathroom at 3 am?

3) They’d be great for the CIA. They can fly anywhere, pass through and spy on anyone without being seen.

4) They’d be superb scouts for our armed forces. Even if caught–and how would that happen–how could any enemy kill them?

5) They could periodically check inside our nuclear reactors for leaks. What could radiation do to them? Many ghosts already glow a bit.

6) Nighttime security. Living people hate working at night and by themselves. Ghosts love it.

Ghosts and people working together. It’s a win-win situation.

*****************************************************

Still time to enter the *Bump Off Your Enemies* Literary Event
Hosted by Candace C. Bowen and me, Paul R. De Lancey
https://www.facebook.com/events/501973503178459/

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: humor | Tags: America, American, armed forces, bathroom, Bump Off Your Enemies, Candace C. Bowen, CIA, De Lancey, dead, dead-beat, event, Facebook, ghosts, literary, nuclear reactors, Paul, psychic energy, radiation, robbers, security guards, spy, welfare, work | Leave a comment

Kugelis, Potato Pudding Recipe

Posted on March 2, 2013 by pauldelancey

Lithuanian Entree

KUGELIS
(Potato Pudding Recipe)

INGREDIENTS

5 pounds russet potatoes
12 ounces bacon
1 1/2 large white onions
1/4 cup butter
6 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1 12 ounce can evaporated milk
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon white pepper
1/2 cup farina

SPECIAL UTENSILS

1 9″*13″ baking dish
or
2 8″*8″ baking dishes
or
127 1″*1″ baking dishes

Serves a lot of people. We’re talking about 7 pounds of rich food here.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Peel potatoes. Grate or shred potatoes. (This is some debate about the authenticity of shredding potatoes for Kugelis. After noting how long it took to merely peel the potatoes, I fired up the trusty food processor and shredded away. Yep, I’m a rebel. Born to be Wild.)

Dice bacon. Shred onions. Put bacon, onions, and butter in frying pan. Cook on medium-high heat until bacon is done to your desired level of crispness and the onions soften. Stir frequently. Hold the pan at an angle away from you while stirring. You really want bacon splatter to head away from you.

Put eggs in large mixing bowl and beat the heck out of them. Add potato, bacon/onion sauté, milk, evaporated milk, salt, pepper, and farina. Mix thoroughly with spoon.

Bake in oven at 350 degrees for 1 hour 20 minutes or until golden brown on top. Remove baking dish from oven and let cool for 5 minutes before serving. Enjoy the national dish of Lithuania.

TIDBITS

1) Pepper is used in this recipe. It is a happening spice. Pepper was first widely used in India over two millennia ago. India is one of the world’s oldest civilizations One of every seven people in the world is Indian. India has lots of trains, great food, nuclear weapons, and customer-service reps. Okay, the last one is bad.

2) Pepper traded westward to ancient Egypt. Black peppercorns were found stuffed up the nose of the mummified body of Pharaoh Ramses II. Snorting, perhaps? Egypt was the dominant power in that region for hundreds of years. It’s chariots raced all over the countryside. Perhaps they wouldn’t have had to race all over if they had bothered to ask for directions, but you know men.

3) Some think Rome conquered great swaths of North Africa, Europe, and the Near East because the Romans were really cranky from constantly sneezing snorted pepper. The Roman Empire lasted so long because its subject were so down with the taste explosion pepper brought that they really didn’t mind constant taxation and civil wars.

4) Then around the 5th century AD, barbarians invaded and destroyed the Roman Empire for no good culinary reason. Lutefisk crazed Vikings pillaged everywhere. People stashed their pepper. The Vikings killed the stashers. Knowledge of pepper disappeared. The Dark Ages descended.

5) Around 13th century or so the Venetians started trade routes with India. Indian pepper once again flowed westward to Europe. Venice became the richest and mightiest city in Europe. Then they started making blinds and their economy tanked.

6) Portugal started the Great Age of Exploration. It sent fleets around Africa and to the Americas and sooner than you can say heteroskedasticity pepper graced the tables of people around the world.

7) Life’s been pretty good since then. Even the occasional global war was made tolerable by proper amounts of peppers in soldiers’ meals.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: Africa, America, bacon, chariots, cookbook, Dark Ages, De Lancey, Egypt, Europe, Great Age of Exploration, India, Kindle, kugelis, Lithuania, lutefisk, Near East, Nook, nuclear weapons, pepper, peppercons, Pharaoh Ramses, Portugal, potato, potato pudding, pudding, recipes, Roman empire, Rome, russet potatoes, snorting, Venetians, Venice, Vikings | Leave a comment

Suaasat – Greenlander Soup

Posted on February 12, 2013 by pauldelancey

Greenlander Soup

SUAASAT

INGREDIENTS

1 chicken breast (1 pound reindeer if you can get it)
1 onion
1 carrot
1 quart water
1/2 cup pearl barley
1/4 cup millet
1/4 teaspoon coriander
1/8 teaspoon sea salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon rosemary
1/2 teaspoon sage
1/2 teaspoon thyme

Makes 6 bowls

PREPARATION

Chop reindeer meat or chicken into 1/2″ cubes. Dice onions and carrots. Add cubes, onions, carrots, water, barley, millet, coriander, salt, pepper, rosemary, sage, and thyme to large pot. Cook soup on medium heat for about 1 hour or until chicken or reindeer cubes are fully cooked and barley and millet are tender.

TIDBITS

1) A Viking called Gunnbjorn discovered Greenland in 876.

2) Why does Gunnbjorn get all the credit for discovery when thousands of Eskimos had been living there for hundreds of years?

3) Because Gunnbjorn sounds a lot like GummiTM bears and everyone likes those.

4) Leif Erikkson discovered North America in 1000.

5) Why did Leif get all the credit when North America was discovered thousands of years by peoples crossing the land bridge between Siberia and Alaska thousands of years before?

6) Because Leif sounds exactly like leaf. The maple leaf grows on the maple tree. Maple trees produce maple syrup. Everybody loves maple syrup.

7) Proper branding is a must for all discoverers.

8) Erikkson is variant of Erickson. Erickson is the name of my Swedish born grandparents who settled in America about 100 years ago.

9) I don’t believe the Erikksons and Ericksons ever relinquished their claim of discovery.

10) So North America quite possibly belongs to me.

11) As long as North Americans love maple syrup.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, Alaska, America, Americans, bears, branding, chicken, coriander, Eskimo, Eskimos, Greenland, Greenlander, gummi, Gunnbjorn, Leif Erikkson, maple, maple leaf, millet, North America, pearl barley, pepper, reindeer, rosemary, sage, sea salt, Siberia, soup, suaasat, Sweden, Swedish, thyme, Vikings | Leave a comment

President Obama Wants Me to Take Up Acting

Posted on February 7, 2013 by pauldelancey

“The President Asked You to Act”

That’s the title of the post that showed up in my e-mail. I don’t know why.

Perhaps little Barack cherished dreams of acting on stage in Chicago.

Perhaps he’s decided the only way to end the endless partisan bickering in Washington is to have both sides watch me perform in a play. Perhaps my acting is the only way to save American democracy, its economy, and its cherished way of life.

If so, that’s an awesome responsibility. President Obama has a right to know my stage credentials. Here they are without adornment.

A lead role as Snoopy in Charles Schulz’s You’re A Good Man Charlie Brown.*

Wildcat Willie Save the Turkey.*

Sole author of More Eggs on the Stove (A monosyllabic parody of Our Town.)

Membership in the Dramatists’ Guild.***

There, I await our nation’s bidding.

* = 5th grade production.
** = 7th grade production.
*** = not current

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: humor | Tags: 5th grade, acting, America, American, Charles Schulz, Charlie Brown, democracy, Dramatists' Guild, economy, More Eggs on the Stove, Obama, Our Town, parody, partisanship, President, President Obama, turkey, Wildcat, Wildcat Willie, You're a Good Man Charlie Brown | Leave a comment

Baked Maple-Covered Doughnuts Recipe

Posted on February 4, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

BAKED MAPLE-COVERED DOUGHNUTS

INGREDIENTS

DOUGHNUT

1 cup pastry flour or regular flour if not available
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons milk
2 large eggs
3 tablespoons vegetable oil

MAPLE GLAZE

1 cup confectionary sugar
1 tablespoon milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 tablespoons maple syrup

SPECIAL UTENSILS

doughnut mold, or tray, for 6 doughnuts
no-stick spray.

PREPARATION – DOUGHNUT

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Combine flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in medium mixing bowl until all ingredients appear to be well mixed. Add milk, eggs, and vegetable oil to another medium bowl. Blend with whisk until mixture starts to get foamy. Pour the milk mixture into the flour mixture and blend with whisk until all is combined.

Spray doughnut mold with no-stick spray. Scoop combined mixture into each dough form until half full. Put in oven and bake at 375 degrees for 10 to 12 minutes. Doughnuts should be done when they spring back when gently poked.

Remove doughnut mold from oven. Let sit for about 3 to 4 minutes. Gently pry doughnuts from mold with knife or small wooden spatula and put on plate.

PREPARATION – MAPLE GLAZE

Combine confectionary sugar, milk, vanilla extract, and maple syrup.. Use blend setting on electric beater to mix these ingredients. Use ladle or large spoon to pour glaze over the doughnuts. Use spoon to smooth the glaze on the doughnuts. Cool doughnuts in refrigerator until glaze sets.

Eat your share before your family or friends do.

TIDBITS

1) Canada’s new $50 and $100 bills smell like maple syrup. Way cool.

2) It’s part of the bills’ anti-counterfeiting measures.

3) The maple leaf symbolizes Canada and appears on the Canadian flag.

4) Swedish meatballs smell great and symbolize that nordic nation.

5) It would be great if Swedish currency smelled like that.

6) I like the idea of baking money.

7) “Patty cake, patty cake, baker man, bake me a bill as soon as you can.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, humor, international, recipes | Tags: America, American, baker, cake, Canada, Canadian, confectionary, cookbook, currency, De Lancey, dessert, doughnuts, Eat Me, extract, flag, kinde, maple, maple leaf, meatballs, money, nordic, recipe, recipes, Sweden, Swedish, syrup, vanilla | Leave a comment

Shakshuka, Israeli Breakfast Soup

Posted on February 2, 2013 by pauldelancey

Israeli Breakfast Soup

Shakshuka

IINGREDIENTS

1 sweet red pepper
2 hot green chiles
1 white onion
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
24 ounces tomato sauce
1 tablespoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 eggs

PREPARATION

Mince red pepper, green chiles, onion, and garlic. Put in skillet along with olive oil. Sauté on medium high heat for about 5 minutes or until onion is tender.

Add tomato sauce, oregano, and salt. Heat on high until sauce begins to boil, stirring frequently. Turn heat down to low. Add eggs. Cook until eggs are done to your satisfaction. Stir occasionally. This soup is often eaten directly from skillet.

Simple and quick with an impressive sounding name.

TIDBITS

1) People made soup as early as 6,000 BC.

2) Even then kids said, “Is it ready, yet?”

3) In 1772 BC Hammurabi of Babylon set down his famous set of 282 laws. Most of them dealt with business contracts and the family. None of them dealt with soup.

4) Current Nebraska law states a bar owner must be making soup at the same time beer is being sold.

5) So we’ve addressed the glaring soup admission in Hammurabi’s Code.

6) It took humanity over 3,700 years to do this.

7) In the meantime we’ve: discovered America via the land bridge from Asia, invented the printing press, and witnessed the creation and demise of the Twinkie.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: America, Asia, Babylon, breakfast, Eat Me, garlic, Hammurabi, Hammurabi's code, Israel, Israeli, Kindle, land bridge, Nebraska, olive oil, oregano, printing press, recipe, shakshuka, soup, tomato, Twinkie, virgin | Leave a comment

Posts Tagged With: America

Venezuelan Hot Dogs Recipe

VENEZUELAN HOT DOGS

Terri Lynn Coop, Winner of Bump Off Your Enemies Literary Event

Shorba Baida – Algerian Chicken Soup Recipe

Powegian Garlic Bread Soup Recipe

Putting Our Dead-Beat Ghosts To Work

Kugelis, Potato Pudding Recipe

Suaasat – Greenlander Soup

SUAASAT

President Obama Wants Me to Take Up Acting

Baked Maple-Covered Doughnuts Recipe

BAKED MAPLE-COVERED DOUGHNUTS

Shakshuka, Israeli Breakfast Soup

Shakshuka

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Paul’s archives

Posts Tagged With: America

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