Monthly Archives: April 2013

Frikadellen – German Hamburger Recipe

German Entree

FRIKADELLEN
German Hamburgers

INGREDIENTSFrikade-

1 onion (1/2 more used later)
1/2 onion
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1 pound ground pork (or pork sausage)
2 eggs
1 tablespoon German mustard or deli mustard
6 tablespoons bread crumbs
1/4 teaspoon caraway seeds
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt
8 Kaiser rolls
8 leaves lettuce

PREPARATION

Mince 1 onion. Slice 1/2 onion into rings. Thoroughly combine minced onion, beef, pork, eggs, mustard, bread crumbs, caraway, nutmeg, pepper, parsley, and salt in mixing bowl with hands. Contemplate the infinite while doing so.

Make 8 large meatballs with hands. Flatten them slightly to make thick patties. Fry patties in pan at medium heat for about 5 minutes on each side or until sides begin to brown. While patties are cooking slice 1/2 onion. Sauté onion slices in burger drippings until golden brown. (The onion rings, not you for goodness sakes.) Toast Kaiser rolls. (Hail, Kaiser rolls.)

Assemble the burger with: roll, patty, lettuce, and sautéed onion slices.

TIDBITS

1) The German word Kaiser means emperor and derives from Julius Caesar’s last name.

2) Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River in 49 B.C. starting a vicious round of civil wars that brought down the Roman Republic for good. Republics were pretty much non-existent round the world after that except in Iceland until the American Revolution in 1775.

3) Future despots though loved what Julius had done, conquering Gaul, overthrowing the Republic, and all that. So much so, they took his last name as their own or even taking the title of Caesar.

5) We see this trend in modern time. KleenexTM became so popular that all facial tissues are often known as KleenexTM.

6) Caesar also gave his name to Caesar’s salad. Blood on his hands sure, but his salad is truly tasty.

7) So if you want to achieve culinary immortality, conquer Gaul or some other country and set up your dictatorship or monarchy.

8) I have to go. I need to sneeze into my KleenexTM.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Los Candidatos Need Your Votes

Candace C. Bowen and I really need your votes if Bacon & Chocolate is to win today in Venezuela’s election. Do not let trifles such as wrong citizenship or the nearest polling booth being thousands of miles away deter you. Vote often! Excelsior! Cowabunga!

flag

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Prestigious, Rousing Endorsements for my Presidential Candidacy of Venezuela

My run for the office of El Presidente of Venezuela nearly derailed when I momentarily forget how to spell “candidacy” for this blog’s title. But I flagremembered. Whew! Anyway, I’ve been telling you, the Venezuelan voters, how I will help you or at the very least inflict the least harm of any candidate. But why take the word of someone who has run for political office, golfed, and fished?  Look at the glowing endorsements below.

“You are much more qualified than the Chavista bus driver (Maduro), and offer better perks (Bacon & Chocolate- For the People!) than the other challanger (Capriles). DeLancey for El Presidente!”
– Jonna Pattillo

“You have the full support of The Cookie Party.”
– Wayne DePriest

“Glad to know the BCP has gone post-nationalist.”
– Blaise Marcoux

“Vote Early, vote often!”
– Jonna Pattillo

“You have my endorsement. As a token of my endorsement I am sending you a fish with an endorsal fin.”
– Steve Kramer

“I really think the people of Venezuela should vote for you instead of that morally compromised bus driver turned politico. After all – You offer bacon and chocolate instead of just popular television….”
– Jonna Pattillo

“You have my endorsement, but don’t be in any hurry to cash the check.”
– Wayne DePriest

“The Lascaux Review officially endorses Paul De Lancey of the Bacon & Chocolate Party for the office of President of Venezuela.”
– Stephen Parrish

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Candace C. Bowen – Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Great Candidate for Vice President of Venezuela

My Dear Venezuelans:
Are you tired of the status-quo? Of course you are! Tomorrow you have a chance for change. Join presidential candidate Paul De Lancey and yoursflag truly to ride the dark horse to election victory. Like our fellow candidates in every nation, we will make impossible promises that we have no intention of actually keeping. Do you love bacon, chocolate and Venezuelan hot dogs? Who doesn’t? We will fill every household with a lifetime supply. Take your family and friends to the polls tomorrow and help us declare victory. Vote twice for good measure and we’ll throw in imported relish for your hot dogs. Bring your enemies and we’ll throw in organic mustard and ketchup. The time is now to make a stand my friends. Viva la bacon and chocolate!
Candace C. Bowen
Candidate for Vice President

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Running For El Presidente of Venezuela: My Plans

To all the Venezuelans who might be holding back on voting for me Sunday simply because I live in San Diego, rest assured I will fly down right away to Caracas, the capital, to assume my presidential duties if elected. Indeed, here are my flight plans assuming I get sworn in on June 4.

venezuel

Once I get there I will vigorously press for affordable bacon, chocolate, and Venezuelan hot dogs. Then I’ll take a nap.

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Why You Should Make Me El Presidente Of Venezuela

Hi! People Of Venezuela. My main competitor, Senor Madero promises everything, maduro
including “To be the salvation of the human species on the planet.” (See poster point 7.) That is indeed a worthy goal. Yet, I entertain doubts he can achieve this. And while he is failing at that, might he not neglect things that matter dearly to the great Venezuelan people?

Such as Bacon, Chocolate, and the Venezuelan hot dog. Have I stood up for bacon? Have I stood up for chocolate? Yes, I have. See the poster for the Bacon & Chocolate Party.

Can I make a Venezuelan hot dog? Yes, I can. See proof below.

Can I speak Spanish?

Si.

“Vote Bocino y Chocolate para una Mañana sabrosa.”

 

B&Ctasty

venezhd-

 

 

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I Will Be The Next El Presidente Of Venezuela

I am officially announcing my candidacy for the presidency of Venezuela. I am particularly concerned that my main contender–the name escapes me–has been disturbingly mute about protecting the glorious Venezuelan hot dog.  I, however, have made a Venezuelan hot dog, wrote up the recipe, and blogged to the world about it . My friends, the choice is clear. vote for me and the Bacon & Chocolate Party.

As they say in Venezuela, where they speak Spanish:

“Vote tocino y chocolate para una Mañana sabrosa.”*

– Paul R. De Lancey

* = pretty sure that’s translated correctly.

 

 

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Kartoffel Suppe – German Potato Soup Recipe

German Soup

KARTOFFEL SUPPE
(Potato Soup)

INGREDIENTSKartoff-

1/2 pound bacon
4 potatoes
1 carrot
2 stalks celery
2 stalks leek
1 onion
2 tablespoons butter
6 cups beef broth
1/4 cup flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup cream
1/4 teaspoon marjoram
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 tablespoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

PREPARATION

Slice bacon strips into 1/2″ squares. Chop potatoes into 1/2″ cubes. Dice carrot, celery, leek, and onion. Add butter, bacon, carrot, celery, leek, and onion to soup pot. Sauté on medium-high for 5 minutes or until onion is soft. Stir frequently.

Add potato cubes, broth, flour, salt, cream, marjoram, nutmeg, parsley, and pepper. Simmer for 20 to 30 minutes on low heat or until potato cubes are tender. Stir occasionally.

Become a culinary hero to your hungry hordes by serving this tasty dish. And for those who want bacon with everything, this soup has it. Yay!

TIDBITS

1) This tidbit is not getting done. I made chocolate-covered cake and the hungry hordes are eating it up as I type.

2) If I were to open a dessert shop, I would call it Dessert Storm.

3) The name would be especially apt if I ever forgot to put the lid on the blender.

4) It’s amazing the number of burglars around the world who have fallen asleep inside burgled homes after eating chocolate cake found in the refrigerator.

5) To my knowledge, no house burglar has ever fallen asleep after eating potato soup.

6) Chocolate cake, used by the best home-protection services everywhere.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Llajua – Bolivian Hot Sauce Recipe

Bolivian Appetizer

LLAJUA
(Spicy Sauce)

INGREDIENTSLlajua-

4 medium tomatoes
1 tablespoon aji amarillo
2 teaspoons cilantro
2 teaspoons parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt

PREPARATION

Remove seeds from tomatoes. Put tomatoes, aji amarillo, cilantro,  parsley, and salt in blender. Use chop setting on blender until you get a smooth liquid or paste.

Serve by itself or other Bolivian dishes such as SOPA DE MANI.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

TIDBITS

1) Bolivia maintains the world’s biggest butterfly sanctuary. This South American country has been at peace ever since the park’s opening.

2) Who can forget The Hunchback of Notre Dame with Quasimodo shouting, “Sanctuary, sanctuary.”

3) Boliva’s butterflies do not shout, “Sanctuary.” This is because they feel no need, being already in a sanctuary or they are all mimes.

4) Tidbit 2) italicized The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

5) The period at the end of this sentence is italicized.

6) The period at the end of this sentence is not.

7) Could you tell the difference? I couldn’t without using quite a large font size.

8) I need to get out more.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sopa De Mani – Bolivian Peanut And Potato Soup Recipe

This is my 300th blog! Thank you for reading.

Bolivian Entree

SOPA DE MANI
(Peanut and Potato Soup)

INGREDIENTS SopaDeM-

2 chicken breasts
4 cloves garlic
1 large onion
1 cup raw, unsalted peanuts
1 cup water
3 Yukon gold potatoes (to be chopped into pieces)
1 Yukon gold potato (to be cut into strips)
2 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil (1/4 cup more later)
6 cups chicken broth
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon cilantro
1 teaspoon parsley

SPECIAL APPLIANCE

blender

PREPARATION

Cut chicken breasts into 1/2″ cubes. Mince garlic and onions. Put peanuts and water into blender. Use chop setting until you get a smooth white liquid or paste. Peel potatoes. Cut 3 potatoes into 1/2″ slices. Cut each slice into 2 or 3 pieces. Cut 1 potato into 1/4″ by 1/4″ inch strips.

Put oil, garlic, and onion in frying pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onions soften or start to turn golden brown. Stir frequently. Transfer sautéed garlic and onion to soup pot.

Add chicken cubes, peanut paste, potato pieces (not the potato strips), chicken broth, cumin, oregano, pepper, and salt to soup pot. Simmer on low heat for about 40 minutes or until potato pieces are soft. Stir occasionally. (It is also a good idea to stir occasionally when watching tv or you may be thrown out with that old sofa you’re sitting on.)

While soup is cooking, add 1/4 cup vegetable oil and strips from one potato to frying pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until potato strips turn golden brown. Stir frequently enough to keep strips or fries from burning. (Note, hot oil splatters. Tip the frying pan away from you or hold a lid between you and the frying pan when stirring the fries.)

Ladle soup into bowls. Garnish equal bowl with an equal amount of cilantro, parsley, and fried potato strips .If desired, add as much LLAJUA, (spicy sauce) to each bowl.

TIDBITS

1) Bolivians love potatoes.

2) They did not love McDonald’s enough. McDonald’s left Bolivia  on December 1, 2001 after seven years of trying. Bolivians simply preferred their own style of cooking or were too poor to eat out .

3) Iceland does not have McDonald’s either. It costs too much to get potatoes from Germany.

4) Many of the poor countries between the Mediterranean Sea and South Africa are without McDonald’s. The same holds true for ex-Soviet republic in Central Asia.sauté

5) American forces fought in the Vietnam War in: Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia. These countries do not have McDonald’s.

6) North Korea and Iran have nuclear-weapons programs. They are unfriendly to us and have no McDonald’s.

7) Indeed, most countries do not have McDonald’s restaurants in them are poor, have fought America, or have become hostile nuclear powers.

8) Think about that when you’re tempted to pass by an empty McDonald’s in some foreign land.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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